How to raise a daughter from birth. How to raise girls correctly

Many caring parents worry: “How to properly raise a child so that he grows up to be an intelligent, cultured, neat, caring, polite and erudite person?”

I perfectly understand the anxiety of daddies and mommies, so I want to devote this article to the nuances of raising a two-year-old toddler, give practice-tested recommendations, and also “sort out” the child’s psychology.

Features of development of a 2-year-old child.

By the age of two, the toddler’s physical capabilities noticeably develop:

The waking time increases, because the baby already sleeps once a day
vocabulary is about 300 words
actively plays with objects, pushes them, moves them, walks around them, and is interested in what is inside.
knows the functional properties of many things around him. For example, a car is driving, a bird is flying, a boat is sailing, etc.
imitates the actions and movements of adults
shows emotions: surprise, admiration, affection, pity, sympathy, joy, pride, disappointment, etc.

If you want to raise a child, start with YOURSELF!

I’ll say right away that ensuring a decent upbringing of a child is a huge painstaking process that must be carried out, adhering to certain rules:

It is important to control and monitor your behavior. If you watch TV and tell your child that you can’t watch TV, then don’t expect obedience. The toddler is at such an age that he wants to perform the actions that you perform, and if you ask him to do something, then most likely he will resist. For example, you ask him to calm down and stand still, but, as luck would have it, he will circle around without stopping. In this case, I recommend telling him: “Run faster!” I give 90% that he will be very surprised, stop and decide to take a break!

Remember that when raising a child, you need to show restraint and patience in order to adequately respond to the manifestation of his leadership, creative and hyperactive qualities. After all, children are small individuals with different temperaments, abilities, inclinations, etc. For example, if a toddler is a leader by nature and constantly expresses his opinion, puts forward ideas and suggestions, then do not judge him, be sure to listen and give him freedom of choice in some things. Thus, the baby will grow up to be a confident person, a leader whose opinion others will listen to.

By the way, if your child draws everywhere: on walls, wallpaper, furniture, and also willingly engages in modeling, loves to play with construction sets, enjoys making appliqués, etc., then your child is a person with enormous creative potential.

In this case, I recommend that parents provide the appropriate area, necessary materials and items to develop his talent. After my daughter painted the sofa, I realized that I urgently needed to buy a drawing board, whatman paper, pencils, craft kits, etc.

Don’t be upset if your child behaves like a monkey: jumping on the sofa or bed, climbing any heights, constantly turning and spinning, not sitting in one place. Just your little one from among the hyperactive children.

Don't scold your child for this, but just find something for him to do using his physical abilities. This could be a visit to the children's playground, outdoor games and much more.

There are categories of guys who are called tireless helpers. Such children are obedient, always walk near their mother and try to help her in feeding pets, cleaning, arranging dishes, etc.

Don’t discourage him, interest the little one, ask him to perform one or another task that is feasible for him. Thus, from childhood he will be accustomed to hard work and will grow up to be your excellent assistant.
- teach your child the rules of etiquette, hygiene and self-care.

showing love in physical fitness: hug, kiss the baby, play with him, feed him and talk. Do not hit him or offend him under any circumstances! Otherwise, the little one will grow up unsure of himself, aggressive, distrustful or angry at the whole world. A boy should be brought up within strict limits, without unnecessary cooing, but also without despotic manners.
do not limit the child’s physical capabilities and activity. As a rule, boys are more active than girls, so don’t be surprised if your tomboy walks around with knocked-out knees, bumps and bruises. It is very good if the boy develops well physically, since he is the future defender of not only the family, but also possibly the country.
Don't worry if your boy doesn't speak well or doesn't always ask to go potty by age two. Practice shows that boys develop more slowly in this regard than girls.
psychologists recommend that parents address their son with the words: “son”, “boy”, “helper”... Diminutive words such as “bunny”, “honey”, “cat” should be used as rarely as possible, so that the little one is already small age understood that he was a future man - the breadwinner and protector of his family.

Are you raising a girl?

Develop your baby's creative abilities. Almost all girls are calm, balanced, and more diligent compared to boys. Monotonous work is easy for them, they have a developed sense of beauty and imagination, so girls enjoy drawing, sculpting, appliqué, etc.
Encourage your daughter’s desire to express her emotions and feelings. Give your little princess compliments, shower her with praise and tenderness, then at a young or adult age she will not melt in front of boys at the very first compliment addressed to her. The baby must grow up to be self-sufficient, self-confident, and recognize deceitful and insincere feelings.
Give your daughter the opportunity to choose one or another game on her own. Don’t be surprised if your little one, instead of playing mother-daughter, starts playing football, she just belongs to the category of “tomboy” girls. Over time, her priorities may change and she will become a real lady!
From childhood, explain to your baby that she can achieve a lot in this life. Show your daughter pictures of women - actresses, politicians, doctors, teachers... and explain that when she grows up, she will become a respected aunt.

And finally, I want to evaluate the incomprehensible behavior of a two-year-old child in certain situations and give recommendations:

a child is capricious, hysterical and mischievous for no reason - he is calling you into conflict! You can scold him, but under no circumstances intimidate him or use physical violence. He must know that punishment is not torture, but a consequence of his disgusting behavior.
the kid is trying to express his point of view, interrupts you, wants to do it his own way. Be sure to listen to him, and then calmly explain what he is wrong about or think: maybe the words of a baby speak the truth!

Good luck to you, dear parents, in raising your little happiness!

How to raise a girl? The question is important and not simple. There are two lines in raising a girl: a general line and a special line. Common line does not distinguish whether you are raising a boy or a girl: in any case, there are common things, namely, raising a healthy and developed child, a harmonious and thinking person. But this article is about special line in education, namely, what special things need to be known and taken into account when raising a girl as future woman, How future wife and mother. If this is important to you, I invite you to think about it together.

Health and physical development

Since girls are often raised by their mothers, they feel sorry for the girls, and this is main mistake. Smart mothers are not afraid to harden girls in the same way as boys, that is, from childhood, a minimum of clothing, more movements and dousing ice water(option - contrast shower). Don’t be afraid: it’s the girls who get cold who are brought up in a warm environment and “no matter what happens.” Pouring cold water give hardening and excellent vigor, but if this conflicts with long hair and in general with your hair, look for compromises.

A lively and cheerful girl with a slim and athletic figure has a better chance of both a great family and success in life, so sports is a must. It is advisable to choose a sport that is associated with staying on fresh air and with motor activity- running, cycling, rollerblading, in winter - figure skating and skiing. Important: in any sport, a girl does not need strength, but three other things, namely: a) flexibility, b) general coordination of movements (dexterous hands) and c) grace, beauty and smoothness of movements. Therefore, for strength training, we pump up the abs and do squats, but replace the horizontal bar with push-ups.

Swimming is very good for health, but with professional training, girls develop quite masculine shoulders, which is not entirely feminine. For the same reason rhythmic gymnastics healthier than sports gymnastics. Tennis is useful both big and small, both yoga and fitness are good, while team sports are more useful for guys, individual and pair dancing is more useful for girls. Once again: the most important and absolutely mandatory sport for any girl is dancing. Dance, dance, dance! (Until the age of mukallaf, note Islam and family).

When choosing a specific sports section or dance studio, it is usually more important to pay attention not to a specific sport or type of dance, but what kind of people are there and what is the style of communication there, first of all, what is the culture of the coach. A high-quality, worthy coach teaches not so much a specific sport or dance, he teaches attitude towards people and life. If you have found such a coach, you can be calm. However, under different ages girls need to select different coaches...

Neatness

Our daughter should not be a slob, so we teach our daughter to be orderly. Three absolutely obligatory things in the morning: make the bed, put your hair in order, get dressed. Our grandmothers knew well about the bed: whoever has a mess on his bed has a mess in his life. Making the bed (first air it out and then put it away) takes only two minutes, and the room becomes beautiful and feels cozy. Likewise, combing your hair and putting it in order also means collecting your thoughts, collecting your whole self. An unkempt girl feels and behaves unkempt: can you imagine an unkempt queen? And getting dressed means finishing putting yourself in order. The princess does not allow herself to walk around in the morning, much less have breakfast, in a wrinkled T-shirt or nightie. Clothing is part of our mood, so it is important to dress for the task of a particular morning and day.

By the way, regarding shoes: it’s good for little girls to run barefoot, for older girls and adult women it’s good to wear tight-fitting slippers. Throw away all the soft flip-flops; in them, the most collected girl quickly turns into a disassembled mess.

The little mistress of any home

From the very early childhood teaching my daughter skills housewife. It is not right for the mother to be in the kitchen and the daughter to play her games. It’s right if your daughter’s favorite game is helping her mother in the kitchen. The main difficulty here is usually in the mother: it is easier for her to prepare everything herself than to call her daughter and explain everything, correcting her mistakes... But if the mother thinks about her daughter’s future, by the age of twelve she may well achieve what kind of “feeding everyone” It’s not she who answers, but her daughter. It’s wrong when mom cooks and daughter helps. It’s right when a daughter cooks, and her mother helps her: she continues to teach her how to cook deliciously, serve it beautifully, do everything easily, don’t worry in vain, and attract help from everyone who can help her.

Wipe the dust, water the flowers, wash the clothes, iron everything, vacuum the floor, sort out the closet, wash the windows... - all these many things a little housewife should do as easily and naturally as she runs and breathes.

In raising a girl, the position of the father and mother should be slightly different. Mom can (and should) be tougher than dad here, drive her daughter and demand from her daughter. To comb your hair, make the bed, not walk around undressed, prepare breakfast for everyone and wash the dishes - a mother can strictly demand all this from her daughter. But dad - let dad be gentler with his daughter. The daughter fulfills her mother’s demands because she has to, and her father’s requests because she wants to. It’s normal if dads spoil the girls a little: and if she didn’t comb her hair and came running to him in a wrinkled dress, let his reaction be a hug, a kiss and admiration, “You’re my beauty!” And after that - “Go comb your hair, dear, and it’s better to iron your dress!” To love and pamper - yes, but if suddenly a daughter wants to enter into competition with her mother for her father's attention and love - no, she should not have a single chance...

Guardian of beauty

A beauty is not one who was born a beauty, but one who knows how to create and preserve beauty - her own beauty and the beauty around her. Your daughter should know that she is a Beauty, but even more importantly be able to monitor and take care of her beauty. Doubt about one's external attractiveness - the hard way for a teenage girl, the source of many complexes and failures in her personal life. No matter what external characteristics nature bestows on your daughter, you must raise her from a very tender age in the belief that she is a beauty. Emphasize her advantages, do not laugh at her shortcomings: plumpness, freckles, snub nose - all these are unique features of her personal charm.

And at the same time, do not let your daughter relax. Completeness - let's go to sports! Problem skin- don’t be lazy to look after her! Sharp gestures - dance! We don’t laugh at shortcomings, but we also don’t allow them to remain: when necessary, we’ll say everything in plain text and discuss how things can be corrected.

At the same time, do not teach her to admire herself ahead of time; before the age of twelve, let her learn to create beauty around herself, and not start a race at the vanity fair. The habit of cleanliness up to a certain age is more important than jewelry, and the ability to see beauty and create beauty must be developed right now: learn music, drawing, and handicrafts. Learning music means learning rhythm and melody; learning to draw means learning to see the whole and details, feel the beauty of a line and the integrity of an image, and understand the combination of colors. Handicraft is the art of subtle movements and the school of patience: a most useful school!

Turned twelve - teach the art of cosmetics, let him try lipstick, eye shadow, and mascara (at home). Let her learn to understand that even very beautiful woman always takes good care of himself. Hair care, skin cleansing, masks - this is a skill of reasonable attention to appearance. When it comes to clothes, learn to choose colors, style and wardrobe in general, this will eliminate impulsive purchases in the future: I bought something beautiful, but I don’t know why...

Active Sun

There is a lot of confusion about whether there should be a girl strong man and a leader. It is true that men prefer women who let them lead, and at the same time avoid women who are weak and helpless. What does this mean in raising a girl?

Rule one: knowledge of your interests, but “no” to whims. A smart girl is always smart and should keep her interests in mind. At the table, from what is offered, she easily chooses what she personally likes, but she is never capricious. "I want this!" - wonderful, but the dissatisfied “I don’t want to!” and especially hysterics are prohibited.

Rule two: we are not crybabies, we do not play the unfortunate victim and helplessness. Distinguish: a girl can cry, but she cannot achieve something with tears, unhappy eyes and helpless hands. Just say: “You can cry, it’s not scary, it’s good for your health, but you have to do everything that needs to be done!”

One of the simplest and most effective techniques in this issue- watch your girl’s facial expression and her vocabulary. Just make sure that she does not accustom herself to: moving her eyebrows in suffering, lowering her lips or shoulders, and also that she does not master the female vocabulary of the Victim: “Horror, nightmare! I’m in shock!.. I don’t know, I don’t understand, I can’t handle it. .. It’s all of them, it’s all because of the teacher..." and so on.

Our daughter should be Sunshine, and this can be done in two ways. First, the parents themselves set an example for her, greeting each other and their beloved daughter with warm smiles and kisses. The second is a ban on a dissatisfied face, dissatisfied phrases, dissatisfied intonations, insults and whining. From childhood, a daughter should know a simple rule: “Is there something you don’t like? Don’t sulk, just say so. Ask softly and kindly, and they’ll do what they can for you.”

What if they don't? - So, be grateful to your parents and life for what you have, and think about what you need to do to get what you want later. The face is always happy, we say “Thank you” to the parents, we discuss all issues with them together. Perhaps this will help the girl in the future family life, when her main role is a leader, but hidden. She must be able to obey and at the same time unobtrusively lead her line.

Smart girl

Usually, smart girls are simply called obedient girls who do not contradict their parents. If a girl does this thoughtlessly, out of laziness or fear, this is bad, but if she learns to achieve her goal not through war, but through intelligence, attentiveness and affection, this is good.

Today the world of men welcomes girls who play dumb around them, but this is not best game. A woman’s wisdom lies elsewhere: in the ability to find common language, hear the interlocutor and be in cooperation, and not in negativity and protest. Teach your daughter not to be categorical, to agree with what is reasonable and to calmly do what needs to be done. To tell my husband magic words“Yes, dear! Of course, dear! As you say, so it will be!” Girls must learn to say to their parents: “Yes, mom!” and “Of course, dad, I’ll do everything right now!” If a daughter obeys her parents because she values their knowledge and experience, she is truly smart. The desire to object and do everything your own way in the future leads not to intelligence and independence, but to an internal saboteur, to difficulties in organizing one’s own life and conflicts with others.

Girls are considered to be flexible, gentle and kind creatures. Parents of little princesses are much less likely to encounter hooligan behavior and carelessness. But they have plenty of tears, over trifles, unfulfilled fantasies and other subtle, from a psychological point of view, moments. We'll tell you in our article how to raise a girl so that a vulnerable creature can withstand adversity, hide increased emotionality from others and realize herself in life.

Increasing self-esteem

Praise the little princess for her diligence and achievements every day. Finding a reason to admire is not difficult. Don’t forget to give compliments if your daughter went out for a walk in a beautiful dress or allowed her mother to braid her hair with bows.

Cultivating willpower

Girls are lazy and spoiled. Force your daughters to be obligatory, punctual, and to fulfill their promises. Developing willpower will take time, sometimes several years. But the instilled skill of working on oneself and overcoming laziness will come in handy very soon, for example, in first grade.

We train the body and spirit

Physical training is beneficial for all children. But it is customary to send girls to, , music. Oh and him beneficial influence on the body, parents often forget, feeling sorry for little princesses. But in vain. You can go to the pool, teach yourself how to do pull-ups on horizontal bars at home, ride bikes together or run on the sports ground. Be sure to encourage zeal for sports.

Getting rid of fears

Girls tend to have phobias. They are afraid of the dark, mice, hooligans, and punishment for wrongdoing. Cultivate in your daughter fearlessness towards the little things in everyday life. This will help withstand the pressure life problems in the future.

You shouldn't act radically. Do not leave your child locked in a dark room or alone with a terrible beast named mouse. Always be there, hold your hand tightly. Make it clear that if support is available, loved one close by, all troubles and fears are within your reach.

Get used to being in a dark room from birth. Go to petting zoos on weekends. Show in practice how to fight back a rude person on the street.

We teach a girl to be independent and skillful

Teach your baby to work from early childhood. Moms and dads will have to work as teachers at the same time.

Moms will teach:

Clean the house.

Start by putting things and toys in their places before bed.

Prepare lunch.

For a child of kindergarten age, it is enough to show how to cut a salad or tear greens with your hands, or lay out bread on the table. Give your daughter small tasks in the kitchen. The complexity of the tasks increases as the child grows older.

Sew, knit.

Try creating clothes for dolls together.

Dad's responsibilities:

Hammer a nail, unscrew the nuts.

It is not necessary to hit iron nails with a real hammer; use wooden role-playing sets.

Play football, ride a bike, ski, skate.

Sports entertainment is the privilege of fathers. Having even minimal skills in such games will develop a girl comprehensively.

Video on how to raise a girl

Attention! Use of any medicines and dietary supplements, as well as the use of any therapeutic methods, is possible only with the permission of a doctor.

You will learn the basic psychological characteristics, which are characteristic of girls aged 6-9 years in emotional development, communication with parents, studies, games and behavior.

Your baby's brain guides and programs the growth of the entire body. This growth means that the brain structures involved in learning, memory, motor control and every other brain function have been established by age 5. These connections, called synapses, are the basis of all human movements, thoughts, memories and feelings.

Easy for children to learn and accept new information at the age of 6-9 years, therefore, during this period, you should work on your child’s beliefs and picture of the world.

Features of psychological development at 6-9 years old in girls

Let's look at the main features point by point psychological development in girls aged 6-9 years.

Features of behavior of girls 6-9 years old

By this period, the girl had formed a clear understanding of who she is and the image she wants to be like. Very often, cartoon or TV series characters become role models.

At this moment, it is important for parents to maintain their child’s self-esteem and in every possible way give confidence in own strength, celebrate its uniqueness and individuality.

There are some behavioral features of girls 6-9 years old that are typical at this age:

low self-esteem;
shyness;
excessive imitation of idols;
refusal public speaking;
isolation.

Girls are also paying more and more attention to their appearance, try to be like their mother, try on her clothes and borrow cosmetics. At the age of 6-9 years, the first hobbies appear.

If parents notice an interest in a particular sport or activity, it is worth starting to develop in this direction and helping the child make a choice. Perhaps in the future, the hobby will develop into a profession and will bear great fruit.

During this period, it is important for parents to show their child his strengths. This will help develop self-confidence and bond with family. The girl will understand that parents and relatives are reliable rear and they can be trusted.

Communication in girls 6-9 years old

At the stage of 6-9 years, the child’s socialization occurs in full swing Therefore, this age is characterized by a significant turn in friendships.

The girl already has full-fledged communication, often not related to dolls and toys. This age allows you to gather in groups of 2-3 people, thereby showing your preference.

Child psychology claims that the age of 6-9 years goes through the stage of the next crisis. Features of communication in girls 6-9 years old may include:

the assessment of one’s place in society changes;
new environment - school;
new social connections;
social life.

During this period, parents should be attentive to emotional state girls and pay attention to how she interacts with peers, whether she has friends, and whether she has social anxiety when communicating due to fear of being judged.

Parents should not devalue the child’s feelings and experiences at these moments. Tell us how it was for you, how you found your first friends, where you started.

It is important to make it clear to the child that everyone does not need to like him; his value does not lie in what others think of him, but in the fact that he simply is. Communicate, advise and participate in your child’s life to always suggest the right direction for the development of events.

Emotional development in girls 6-9 years old

On the one hand, the age of 6-9 years is the easiest for parents, and on the other hand, it is associated with the inevitable beginning of the formation of a personal “I” in the child, absolutely independent of mom and dad.

Helping your child cope with separation now will make separation easier in the future. This is especially helpful if your girl has a shy, anxious or timid personality, as she may be more sensitive to separations.

The emotional development of a 6-9 year old girl has the following characteristic features:

Adaptation to school life, regular academic loads, accustomed to the teacher, feels confident in the team.
Girls 6-9 years old are inquisitive and active cognitive activity and learned some self-development skills.
A certain “status” of the child in the surrounding society has already been determined. There is active public and social development.
Children's priorities change, and people appear in a child's life whose opinions can outweigh the opinions of their parents. These may be leaders among peers, older children, or other adults.

Relationships with parents in girls 6-9 years old

Encourage your child's growing independence. California family therapist Jane Nelsen, author of Positive Discipline, believes that the challenge of parenting is to find a balance between nurturing, protecting and controlling your child.

We need to give him the opportunity to explore, experiment and become an independent, unique person. So let your child try new things, such as trying a different food, making a new friend, or riding a horse, and resist the urge to intervene.

Saying, "I'll do it," can increase dependency and decrease your child's trust.

When building a relationship between parents and a 6-9 year old daughter, you need to:

Recognize the importance of your child's more independent relationships with others and loosen your grip;
encourage your child to invite their school friends home to try to connect with someone other than family;
Treating your child with deep respect and without criticism in front of other children will also help build healthy self-esteem.

Games for girls 6-9 years old

One of the most important needs for a girl between the ages of 6 and 9 is communication and acceptance. Any collective children's game serves the function of developing the child's communication skills with peers.

The main task of an adult is to organize the game process so that the child learns to correctly use means of communication, as well as interact with others without showing aggression.

Great importance in the development of communication skills is given to story-based games, in which the child acquires and develops communication skills and gains social experience.

Besides this, many story games contribute to the formation of moral and strong-willed qualities child. So, there are a number of games that will help develop a child’s good attitude towards others, teach him empathy, mutual assistance and mutual assistance.

Games that contain elements of competition contribute to the formation of a child’s strong-willed qualities. Games for girls 6-9 years old based on basic psychological characteristics:

sports games;
team games;
role playing games;
story games.

Education for girls 6-9 years old

The leading activity of a girl aged 6-9 years is study. It was during educational process New psychological functions and qualities arise and develop. During this period, profound changes also occur in the area of experience.

The individual emotions and feelings that the girl of about four experienced were fleeting and situational. At the age of 6-9 years, experiences become new meaning, their complication leads to the emergence of the child’s inner life.

A crisis manifestation of the separation of the external and internal lives of children usually becomes antics, mannerisms, and artificial tension of behavior.

Features of studying for girls 6-9 years old:

appears new system child-teacher relationships;
learning patience and cooperation through experience;
language - as a means of communication and thinking;
The memory of a 6-9 year old child develops in two directions - arbitrariness and meaningfulness.

Anxiety in girls 6-9 years old

Childhood neuroses are not a rare phenomenon. There can be many factors: type nervous system, genetics, destructive beliefs of parents, black and white thinking of the family and so on. The child, like a sponge, absorbs the entire atmosphere in the house and gets used to the constant feeling of danger. The result is high anxiety from an early age with all that it entails.

Psychologists identify two basic threats that cause a feeling of fear - threats to a person’s life and life values. The specificity of children's fears is that, as a rule, they are not directly related to an actual threat.

Children's fears are based on information that children receive from nearby adults and pass through the prism of their vivid fantasy and imagination.

What should parents do if they detect anxiety in a 6-9 year old girl:

confidential conversation with the child about fears and anxieties;
a calm reaction to the child’s answer about fears, without criticism or blame;
ask the child to describe fear, tell what it looks like, what he feels, in what situations the feeling of fear comes to him;
draw fear or dramatize it in a game, live through an imaginary experience.

First menstruation in girls 6-9 years old

A girl aged 6-9 years old may begin to ask questions about her growing up, about how her figure will change in the future, where children come from. These are normal questions and natural interest, but it happens that questions alone are not enough and a child at the age of 6-9 begins menstruation.

The very first period in medicine is called menarche. On average, they begin in a girl at 12-13 years old, but the norm is also considered to be between 9 and 15 years old. There are cases when menstruation begins at 7 years old.

It is worth talking about menstruation before it begins; when a child suddenly discovers blood from the genitals, he often thinks that he is dying and is afraid to tell his parents.

What are the signs that indicate that a 6-9 year old girl will soon start menstruating:

the first white vaginal discharge about half a year before the start of menstruation;
breast and hip enlargement, waist shaping;
the appearance of hair in the pubic area and armpits;
tearfulness and irritability;
cases of fainting a couple of weeks before the first menstruation;
heavy sweating.

Now you know the psychology of girls and the characteristics of their development at the age of 6-9 years, you can use our advice and help your child survive difficult periods.