What to do if your son drinks - how to save your son from drunkenness. What should a mother do and how to treat her son if he drinks?

Parents whose sons drink often come to our center. They don’t know what to do, how to help their child, and ask to save their son from drunkenness. Summarizing the experience of our doctors, let's talk about common mistakes that parents make and the rules of behavior with a drinking person.

Is it possible to wean my son from drinking?

To the question: “What to do if your son drinks?”, parents usually have one answer - to save him. But, saving their son from drunkenness, they most often resort to educational measures: prohibitions, punishments, scandals, threats and even violence. Trying in this way to wean their son from drinking, they do not think about its reasons. Perhaps the son drinks because of excessive parental care (proving his “maturity”), because of loss of meaning in life, disappointment in himself or others, lack of interests and life goals, coping with stress, etc. At an early stage, when addiction develops the son has just begun to form, it is enough to work with a psychologist to stop this process. But pressure on the son, on the contrary, only further alienates him from his parents and aggravates the problem.

How can I help my son stop drinking?

You need to sound the alarm as soon as the problem becomes obvious. Don’t wait for everyday drunkenness to develop into alcoholism: it will be much more difficult to help your alcoholic son. You can talk about the presence of a problem if you notice that your son has begun to get involved in beer or stronger drinks, when he spends more and more time in the company of drinking young people, if he uses every convenient excuse to drink.

But there is no need to immediately create a scandal, put pressure on your son and demand that he stop drinking alcohol. It is necessary to express your dissatisfaction, but calmly, without shouting. If you have friendly relations with your child, talk to him, try to understand what is bothering him. Ask those who are his authority to talk to him. To help your son stop drinking, try to switch his interests from alcohol to something positive. Finally, suggest visiting a psychologist or therapist.

But, most likely, in response to your attempts to save your son from drunkenness, you will receive assurances from him that everything is under control. People who become dependent on alcohol often do not see their problem and fiercely prove to others that they are able to control their behavior.

If drunkenness continues, you need to express your negative attitude towards it, but this must be done gently. In a friendly manner. Show that it is you who suffer from your son’s behavior. You are a victim. Try to get your son to look at his problem from the outside and explain what he himself thinks about it. Remember that without the drinker recognizing the problem, nothing will change. Even going to the doctor is possible only with his consent.

How to help your alcoholic son

But what to do if your son has already become an alcoholic?

If your son's drinking has developed into alcoholism, only complete abstinence from alcohol can help him. But you shouldn’t rush to fortune-tellers and magicians for this, or rely on conspiracies and prayers. Alcoholism is too serious a disease that cannot be delayed. To save your son from alcoholism, you should consult a narcologist. Today, there are a large number of techniques that allow you to stop binge drinking and cope with addiction.

Parents often ask the question: what to do if their alcoholic son does not want to go to the doctor?

In this case, our specialists are ready to provide advice to parents and help them convince their son to turn to specialists.

To save your son from alcoholism, you need, first of all, to help him realize his problem. He must understand that he is sick and that he can avoid the sad fate of an alcoholic only if he completely gives up alcohol. And for this he must have a strong desire to return to a sober life.

But the longer alcoholism develops, the more difficult it is to treat, so do not ignore your son’s drinking, even if he is a fully grown and independent person. To understand how far the problem has gone and what to do in this case, you can consult a narcologist or psychotherapist, even without the participation of your son.

Alcoholism is one of the the most dangerous addictions , which are distinguished by narcologists and psychologists, and it can cause especially great harm to a child - your son. The harm of a habit is commensurate with drug addiction, since the effect of alcohol, in particular ethyl alcohol (ethanol), destroys the body from the inside quite quickly. Unfortunately, no person is protected from this problem. According to the Ministry of Health data around the world, the number of people with irresistible craving to alcohol is growing every day. Almost all people who drink alcohol in one way or another are at risk of becoming dependent on alcohol, regardless of their social status and financial situation.

The popular belief about alcohol's warming and invigorating properties is misinterpreted. The fact is that alcoholic drinks give a feeling of warmth in the body only during the first 7-12 minutes, after which blood circulation deteriorates, the body becomes hypothermic and may ultimately die. In addition, the effect of ethanol promotes development of dangerous diseases vital organs and systems:

  • Problems of cardio-vascular system – cardiopathy of alcoholic pathogenesis, arterial hypertension, cardialgia;
  • Diseases digestive organs – gastritis, peptic ulcer, inflammation of the rectum, enterocolitis and others;
  • Diseases that affect liver– hepatitis and cirrhosis of the liver, leading to the destruction of organ cells, as well as tissue necrosis;
  • Defeat brain– Morel’s disease, alcoholic pellagra;
  • Mental deviations – alcoholic psychosis, delirium tremens, hallucinations, dementia, memory loss;
  • Neuralgic disorders - epilepsy, tremor.

At the same time, alcoholism harms not only the person addicted to alcoholic beverages, but also his family. Constant scandals, nerves, relatives' experiences negatively affect their health, reducing the quality and life expectancy. Therefore, as soon as your son shows signs of addiction, drastic measures should be taken to eliminate it. Otherwise, the dependent person gradually degrades and begins to behave anti-socially. social image life and ultimately ends his life life path ahead of time.

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you will be contacted shortly Determine why your son started drinking vodka and help him at the initial stage

the direct task of every parent. Unfortunately, without timely help, the situation will only get worse, so you should not delay taking drastic measures. Alcoholism as a disease is divided into two forms - psychological and . The reasons that push a seemingly adequate, loving and mentally healthy person onto the slippery path of dependence on strong drinks can be various situations and factors:

  • Problems financial plan , dismissal from work, inability to fulfill one’s ambitions;
  • Stress and anxiety associated with unsuccessful personal life – divorce, loneliness;
  • Tragic situations – loss of a loved one;
  • Increased
  • Individual character traits - diffidence , weakness of will.

Also when individual characteristics body drinking alcohol acceptable standards may provoke the development of dependence on alcoholic beverages. Family traditions or growing up in a family where drinking is normal may cause alcohol addiction. First of all, a mother who has noticed symptoms of craving for alcohol should figure out the reason for this behavior and try to support her son at a difficult moment for him. For example, a man in mature age can be serious problems to work or with the family, but the question often arises of what to do if the child is 17 and often drinks wine or stronger alcoholic drinks.

Good to know! The drug can relieve alcohol addiction in relatively short term and without any side effects. The product has already earned a lot of positive reviews and is gaining more and more popularity every day.

For alcoholism in adolescents and young adults, the causes may include: desire to appear older and cooler. In this case, it is recommended not to limit yourself to talking at home, but to contact a specialist.

How can you tell if your son drinks a lot?

In order to promptly understand that a person has a problem with alcohol, there is no need to do tests or contact a narcologist for each case of his son’s drinking. Indirect signs They themselves will push the mother to identify the problem. For example, every evening the child began to drink a lot of beer and justified for various reasons, in his opinion:

  • Friend's birthday;
  • Successful completion of a session, exam, test;
  • Pay at work;
  • Unlucky day;
  • The desire to relax after a hard day;
  • Ordinary gatherings with friends, but “everyone drank and I drank.”

Sometimes egregious situations happen. For example, when a drinking son at 25 sells things, or demands money from parents for drinks. In this case, we can talk about the development of a stable craving for alcohol and severe dependence, requiring serious correction and intervention from specialists.

Addiction calculator

M F

Your addiction

Dependency type:

There is no danger to the body, the habit of drinking is typical for many people, but in the specified quantities and with the specified parameters of the patient, it does not cause any harm to the body. Many people relieve stress with alcohol on holidays and after work, but are not addicted to it.

The patient sees alcohol as a way out of difficult situations and resorts to high-grade drinks more and more often. This stage is dangerous because in any difficult situation in life, this stage can smoothly transition into the next one, which is much more dangerous to health.

At this stage, an addicted person can no longer do without alcohol, but is firmly convinced that he is capable of quitting at any time, but not today. Already here complications with the liver and other difficulties with organs and well-being may begin.

Special treatment and a short course of rehabilitation, plus the support of relatives, can bring you out of this stage. This stage can provoke very serious problems with the liver and other organs, which will lead to illness for the rest of life.

This stage is not hopeless, but it requires an extremely serious approach to treatment and a long period of rehabilitation, with regular medical procedures, many medications and, often, expensive treatment.

Treatment period for addiction:

Do you want to speed up your treatment?

In any case, parents will need some time control behavior and the condition of his son. This should be done unobtrusively, so as not to offend or harm with your behavior. A person who is addicted to alcohol not only shows an increased interest in strong drinks and begins to drink a lot. His behavior changes:

  • The mood becomes gloomy, apathetic, irritated;
  • Appearance changes for the worse - carelessness in clothes, hairstyle;
  • Appear new friends, company, old interests and hobbies are forgotten.

All these symptoms increase gradually, but with each new day, depending on alcoholic drinks, a person loses part of himself and the opportunity to restore his past life and health.

Stages of alcoholism

Alcoholism has only three stages of the disease, in which signs characteristic of each phase of addiction appear:

  1. First stage addiction is formed by periodic consumption of alcohol. With it, a person can still stay on his own. For example, if you need to be sober at an important event. The rest of the time he drinks alcohol and gets psychological satisfaction from it. He is not aggressive, his mood is high, and there is slight discomfort in the morning. But with every glass of vodka or beer, ethyl alcohol causes irreparable harm throughout the body.
  2. Next stage , the second causes physical dependence, in which a person can no longer give up drinking on his own. The mother may begin to notice that her son is changing before her eyes - his mood is changeable, aggression and irritability appear, former interests disappear, and the desire for something new and interesting. The most significant event is the consumption of alcohol - the mood improves, the son looks forward to the moment.
  3. Third stage the most noticeable and the most difficult to correct. A person stops leading a social lifestyle. His interests are reduced only to drinking alcohol, his appearance changes - carelessness in clothing appears, bad smell away from the body, the face swells, the eyes have a glassy appearance. Thought processes are slowed down, memory and mental clarity deteriorate.

As a result, addiction to alcoholic beverages provokes the development of dangerous diseases incompatible with life. Alcohol is the most dangerous for fragile bodies – teenagers and children.

Teenagers, due to the structural features of the body and not fully formed internal organs do not suffer from binge drinking, unlike mature people. For this reason, the use large quantity alcoholic drinks their body exposed to severe intoxication with a gag reflex in the end. Such a manifestation as alcoholic psychosis can rarely be found with this type of addiction in at a young age. The teenager experiences mild lethargy, apathy, drowsiness or a hysterical state.

The most obvious signs that a son at 14 or 15 years old is drinking alcohol are:

  • Reception alcoholic drinks for no apparent reason ;
  • Character change – the appearance of irritability, aggression, mood swings;
  • Indifference to one’s own person, as well as to one’s close circle.

When these symptoms appear at the same time, the mother should be wary and take a closer look at her sleep. These may be the first signs of alcohol addiction. The right thing to do would be to visit a specialist; a psychologist’s advice on how to wean your son from drinking will allow you to overcome the problem in its infancy.

Psychotherapists remind that should not be delayed with the correction of alcohol dependence in a child at any age. The erroneous opinion that the son drinks a little and soon everything will work itself out on its own can lead to serious consequences and health problems and even a person’s life. At the first calls, you should have a confidential conversation, without escalating the situation, trying to find out the reason for such behavior. Otherwise, in a couple of months, parents can see a doctor with a plea for help - help, my son at 19 years old drinks, does not work, steals and insults us.

Since it is easier to stop a drinking son in the first stages, one should not neglect the help of doctors. First, make sure that the child has a problem, go to the doctor yourself, and only after that suggest soft form young man help from specialists. Also take part in his life as much as possible.

Perhaps a person will have enough participation of relatives in his problems , and he needs banal psychological support.

The main thing that parents should remember is that the outcome of the entire situation and the complete recovery of the person addicted to alcoholism depend on their persistence.

How can I help my son stop drinking?

Unfortunately, many parents are interested in how to stop their son from drinking alcohol. will come to the rescue consultation from a specialist . The most useful person in such a situation will be a psychologist-narcologist. He will tell you when you can help dependent person at home, and in what cases hospitalization is required.

There is no greater problem in the world for parents than drinking children. Alcohol addiction is a terrible problem that can come to any family, regardless of income and social status. According to medical experts, alcoholism is the most common type of pathological addiction. Moreover, according to WHO, the number of alcohol addicts is increasing simultaneously with the improvement in material well-being.

And unfortunately, in our modern world The question often arises when a son drinks, what should a mother do; advice from a psychologist on this topic can help get out of a seemingly hopeless situation. But only on the condition that the help turns out to be timely, and most importantly, competent. Otherwise, you can easily worsen the already difficult situation of an alcohol addict.

Only a trusting relationship can help in such a problem as your son’s drunkenness

According to medical statistics, people who most often begin to abuse alcohol are people who have a hereditary predisposition to drinking, that is, children of drinking parents. But there are a number of other factors that cause the development of alcoholism. The main culprits include the following situations:

  1. Individual personality properties.
  2. Too early exposure to alcohol (adolescence and childhood).
  3. A social environment consisting of socially disadvantaged people.
  4. Traditional views of families where drinking alcohol is considered a regular norm.
  5. Genetic factors leading to significant disturbances in metabolic processes. They determine the rapid addiction to ethanol.

Most often, a person at risk tries alcohol for the first time when he is still a child. In this case, doctors note the rapid development of alcoholism; the disease can form literally within 1.5–2 years.

The main reasons for drunkenness

According to statistics, most alcoholics began their alcoholic career by drinking beer (the favorite drink of young people).

The body quickly responded with tolerance (addiction), and the person switched to stronger alcohol. Social educators and psychologists note that in addition to hereditary factors, factors such as:

  • hyperactivity;
  • traumatic brain injuries;
  • influence of drinking family members;
  • harmful influence from peers;
  • increased level of anxiety;
  • predisposition to psychopathy;
  • overprotection from relatives;
  • unfavorable social environment;
  • domestic violence (mental or physical);
  • communication skills are too low;
  • excessively high level emotional sensitivity (inability to survive failures, stressful conditions).

When a teenager drinks alcohol, his episodic and irregular alcoholic libations are very quickly replaced by constant and regular drinking.

Alcohol addiction at a more mature age has similar reasons for its formation, but has a longer development time. On average, 3-5 years of constant alcohol consumption is enough for an adult to become an alcoholic.

How to understand that trouble is coming

Before finding out what to do if your son drinks and does not consider himself an alcoholic, it is worth understanding whether there is alcoholism at all in this case? How does it develop in young people? As a rule, young people begin their acquaintance with alcoholic drinks in a large group of peers; being outside this group, the desire to grab a bottle usually does not appear.

Strong drinks become an important and necessary part of casual relationships; alcohol acts in this case as a kind of connecting link on which the conversation rests. It is positive, easy communication against the background of drinking that gives a person a certain psychological motivation that pushes him to continue drinking. And soon the psychological dependence is replaced by a physical need.

The first signs of alcoholism

And already at the stage of physical addiction, visible and tangible changes begin to occur in a person. They become especially noticeable in terms of behavior. The drinker develops:

  • aggressiveness;
  • irritability;
  • lethargy and apathy;
  • loss of interest in everything.

Elevation and improvement in mood are noted only when the next opportunity to drink appears. These signs are the very first and already alarming bells of beginning alcoholism. As the disease progresses, a person loses any desire to communicate; he becomes deeply indifferent to his own role and position in society. This affects appearance– the drinker shows untidiness and stops taking care of himself. Mental activity also decreases noticeably. Now the drinker has difficulty understanding new information, cannot remember the simplest things, and thinking slows down.

Development of the disease

At stages II and III of alcohol addiction, the development of withdrawal syndrome is already noted. Abstinence occurs when, for some reason, a person addicted to drinking cannot drink alcohol. Withdrawal syndrome in young people more often manifests itself in the form of various somatic disorders and vegetative-vascular manifestations. In particular:

  • paleness of the skin;
  • tachycardia and pressure surges;
  • hypotension (drop in blood pressure);
  • general lethargy and constant weakness.

The following manifestations are considered the main signs of incipient alcoholism:

  1. Sudden changeability in mood.
  2. Indifference to others and one's appearance.
  3. Uncontrollable and inexplicable aggressive behavior, irritability.
  4. Regular consumption of alcoholic beverages without any reason or justification.

If your child exhibits these symptoms, this is a sure sign that there is an alcoholic son in the house. Narcologists make this diagnosis based on interviews and observations. Moreover, the conversation is carried out not only with the drinker himself, but also with his relatives.

The alarm should be sounded already at the stage of domestic drunkenness

Features of teenage alcoholism

In older drinkers, withdrawal symptoms are expressed as: mental disorders– this is a constantly gloomy mood, outbursts of aggression, irritability and literally hatred of others. Adolescents suffering from alcoholism, unlike adults, do not yet experience binge drinking; they cannot go on binges due to their age characteristics.

Drinking young adolescents, unlike adults, do not develop binge drinking and alcoholic psychoses.

When teenagers consume too much alcohol, they develop a strong gag reflex. And instead of psychopathic states (as in adults), an overdrunk youth develops complete lethargy or, conversely, a hysterical state. But narcologists noted cases of imitation of alcoholic psychoses, so children tried to imitate the behavior of adults.

What to do when your son drinks

Before figuring out what to do when your son drinks and doesn’t work, where to turn and who to run to, you should calm down and develop the most competent position of your own behavior. And the main thing is to understand how and what should not be done and allowed in communication and relationship with your drinking child.

If a parent plans to help their child forget about the bottle and return to a sober, normal society, they should develop and establish a trusting relationship with the child.

What not to do

Without trust, all further steps will be doomed to failure. And you can develop a trusting relationship by taking into account some important nuances, which should be avoided with an alcoholic son. These are the following tips:

  1. It is strictly forbidden to indulge his desire to drink and help him with this with money.
  2. It is impossible to escalate an already turbulent situation with shouts, threats, scandals and swearing.
  3. There is no need to try to threaten and intimidate with actions that will subsequently be simply impossible.
  4. You should not take away his responsibilities, take responsibility for his actions and try to somehow regulate the consequences.
  5. When talking with your son, control yourself and do not allow him to be humiliated, insulted, or shown contempt, like a drunkard and a degenerate person.
  6. It is forbidden to deceive him into treatment. Remember that only with complete trust can you persuade an alcoholic to admit his troubles and agree to undergo therapy.
  7. Remember that it is impossible to force treatment for alcoholism. It is possible to achieve success in such therapy only if he agrees to treatment, and, consequently, understands the existing disease.

The main and important condition is to establish good contact, unobtrusive and friendly. You need to understand that you don’t just have time a little boy, this is already an adult with his own right to choose and own his own destiny. In case of drunkenness, you cannot impose your conditions, put harsh pressure, or harshly set ultimatums.

Stages of development of alcoholism

This behavior will have the opposite effect. And the goal of a mother or father is to return her child to a healthy, sober life. And the main task of parents is to help their offspring take a deliberate and conscious step towards this. If the son is already married, you should bring your wife to your side. Only by uniting everyone's efforts can good results be achieved.

Parents should understand that the future of the child and his return to a normal and healthy human society is possible only with persistent patience and persistent goodwill. Therefore, it is very important to listen and follow all the advice of an experienced psychotherapist. They are:

  • A calm and peaceful environment should be created in the home and family.
  • do everything possible to limit drunkenness from drinking friends and acquaintances;
  • it is necessary to deeply instill in the drinker confidence in the future, in own strength and to yourself;
  • the alcoholic son should be shown that his father and mother are not his enemies, that he is still loved and valued in the family;
  • gently and slowly involve him in all household chores, discussion of current problems, entrust him with household chores and worries;
  • every effort must be made to help the drinking son tune in and be ready to undergo the necessary treatment for alcoholism;
  • you should prove to him that his parents fully share his problem and deeply sympathize (but make sure that this does not go beyond acceptable limits and does not turn into connivance);
  • bring to his mind that there are alternatives to drinking; this can be done on the basis of some examples from the life experiences of other acquaintances who successfully got rid of drunkenness;
  • but one should not allow parasitism on his part, one must try and create conditions under which the man will be forced to look for work and somehow find employment for himself (this must be done so that he feels like a full-fledged member of the family, whose help his parents need) .

And remember that from now on your behavior should radiate only calmness and confidence that the whole situation is under control and everything can be fixed. Only by developing exactly this position of behavior with your drinking son can you turn the situation around. the right direction and change it. You should definitely visit a narcologist and psychologist to receive more detailed individual advice and consultations.

When to act

According to narcologists, time plays a very large, significant role in the treatment of alcoholism. The sooner you start therapy, the greater the chance of getting a good and expected result. Many parents naively believe that since an older child drinks, there is nothing to worry about, and then somehow everything will pass and resolve.

Alcoholism will not subside and disappear, but will gradually develop and one day a moment will come when the pathology crosses the line and becomes irreversible. An important mission falls on the shoulders of parents - to monitor the inclinations and hobbies of their child and, in a necessarily gentle and friendly manner, explain the unacceptability of alcohol in this life and, in particular, in a certain family.

I want to die. Tired of living. My son drinks. 8 years of hell. Conversations, begging, scandals - went through everything. Doesn't work, but every day
comes to varying degrees intoxication. Maybe if I die and no one puts food in the refrigerator, my son will think about it? I'm talking nonsense. A
I grew up as a normal boy. There were no special difficulties during adolescence. And after school I went wild. I left the institute. Behind
For 8 years I worked four jobs - 6 months, 4 months, 2 months and 4 days. Forgive me, Lord, but I'm thinking about suicide. As soon as
I’m talking about treatment, my son leaves home for several days and it’s impossible to find him. I hold back in public. They consider me calm and
confident. But I don't want to live.
Support the site:

Love, age: 53 / 09/06/2010

Responses:

Hello, Lyuba. We are the same age as you. I understand you very well and share your pain.
Now some kind of spiritual pestilence is happening to young people. Our children are only partially ours. We simply brought them into this world and showed them the way. Then they go on their own and exercise their free will. This does not mean that we should give up on them. We have to fight. But don’t let thoughts of suicide even come close. After all, this is a provocation from you know who.
Has your son been baptized? Are you baptized? It is very important. You yourself need to confess and receive communion. How long ago did you confess? If you take the first step yourself, you will find your strongest ally. It will be possible to take hold of my son with a stronger hand. When he is sober, it is unlikely that he himself likes such an uncertain life. It will be possible to talk to him and persuade him to confess. And if you are not baptized, you must be baptized. Have you talked to your son about such topics?
No encodings or pills give the final effect. Filled with alcohol inner VOID. A person has no goal, no internal support, no those aspirations, skills and deeds, when coping with which a person feels, albeit small, but a winner, while receiving a feeling of joy.
Deep down, your son is still the same good boy, but now his vice is stronger than him. He controls him. Try to start helping your son by helping yourself. A person contemplating suicide is no longer a support for another. He himself needs to be strengthened. When a plane crashes, the oxygen masks in the cabin are thrown away. The rescue technique requires the adult to put on the mask first, and then the child. This is absolutely correct. An adult who drops out of the game leaves a weaker child without help.
Lyuba, give yourself oxygen. And then take on your son. God help you!

Smilla, age: 54 / 09/07/2010

Hello, Lyubov. I apologize for such a question, but have you tried a psychologist, for example? After all, if a person drinks, especially a man, this could indicate, as far as I understand, depression, or at least psychological problems. Maybe he has a conflict or doesn’t fit in with the team, he just doesn’t tell you about it. After all, he’s trying, and you know what the time is now. In any case, if a person drinks, especially so often, you should think about the help of a psychologist. Of course, he doesn’t care about treatment. wants to consider himself an alcoholic, think about professional help. And also... how do you feel about various prayer services? In our city, for example, there is a monastery, the “Inexhaustible Chalice” prayer services are held there, it can be treated even through you, i.e. if he doesn’t even go there. It works. I tested it on myself.

Kira, age: 24 / 09/07/2010

Love, hello! I really hope that I was on time with my response - I accidentally read your “cry from the soul.” My opinion: any powerful breakdown in people occurs as a result of some psychological stress which a person experiences alone. This could be a random careless phrase thrown by someone at his address and hurt him greatly, someone’s rude grin, etc. Your task now is to talk to your son in a friendly manner, with sympathy, go back with him to the time when he started drinking, and find out. why did he start doing this? Let him speak this answer himself. If he refuses to have this conversation, tell him an important phrase for him: I Love You and with all my heart I want to help You so that You and I can be happy. I need you a lot.
if you really love him and want his happiness, tell him this honestly, perhaps these are the words he lacks in life! Good luck to you! Everything will be fine!!!

Natalia, age: 34 / 09/07/2010

Love, why such thoughts? My son fell under the influence of dark forces. and you want to surrender to them... But you should, on the contrary, save yourself, and then your son. Why did she talk about you? Your problem is bigger than his. He wants to drink, and you want to kill yourself! Therefore, you need to start with yourself. To begin with, understand that even an adult son with problems needs a calm mother. So first, visit a psychologist yourself, ask for help for yourself. Read this forum thread, maybe it will help you understand the problem a little: http://perejit.ru/main/alko
Secondly, from the experience of friends, I can say that a mother’s prayer can do a lot. Pray, dear, for your son. Get your blessing from the parish priest for the 40-day feat of reading prayers at the icon Mother of God. Pray the prayer of John of Kronstadt for a loved one to overcome the sin of drinking wine. Well, don’t forget to ask God for forgiveness for your dark thoughts; won’t the Heavenly Father help you in your grief? God's help.

Elena, age: 53 / 09/07/2010

Hello, I haven’t had a mother for three years now; I’m 25 years old. We had a normal family, but my mother got sick, she was sick for a long time, and now she’s gone... I miss her very, very much. Don't abandon your son, no one will need him except you.

Evgeniy, age: 25 / 09/07/2010

Love, hello. My dad drinks and I constantly meet young people who drink. I already understood something about this) Fortunately, smart people met on the way, I heard the advice at the right time. This is their life and they will live it as they wish, whether you want it or not. But you just exhausted yourself. There are great chances that your son will think about it if you don’t run around with straws and lay them down endlessly. It is your own fear of his death, his helplessness that makes you treat him not as an equal adult, but as an infantile patient. Me at the time when dad last time came to me drunk, wrote him a letter with approximately the following content: “Daddy, I really want to communicate with you, you as a person have always been very interesting to me, I have something to respect you for and be grateful for, but I don’t want to take on everything syndromes of your hangover. I think that I behave with dignity as a daughter and I don’t think that I deserve such an attitude. We haven’t seen each other for so long and if you’re coming to visit me, then somehow get together. communicate, and this is very dear and important to me. Or do you want to organize a concert here, behave childishly, push for pity and lie like a vegetable all the time? Let’s decide once and for all: don’t come to me drunk, don’t call me. that there is no conversation either. If you do not consider alcoholism at this stage to be a problem and are not going to be treated, you have every right to do so, but I also have the right not to participate in this. If you do not want to be cured, then you will not be cured. who were recovering from heroin and alcohol. So the argument “this is beyond my strength” will never convince me. Drink, but don't fool yourself, it's always your choice. You must understand that by choosing alcohol, you are losing a lot, including some valuable and beautiful relationship. You have the right to have fun as you please, but bypassing me. In my directness there is both my respect for myself and respect for our relationship. I really want to communicate with you, but so that it is really communication. If you want to burn the rest of your life like this, it’s your right, your responsibility, but bypassing me. Precisely because I can't help you. I don’t want to treat you like you’re poor, feel sorry for you, it doesn’t make anyone better. If you want to live like this, I can’t throw myself in your way, I respect your right. But in this case, I also respect my right not to participate in this. It's your choice, it's not my choice. I'm not ready to share all your hangovers with you. Misunderstood gentleness and kindness only corrupts. I hope you will react to my request with mature understanding." He may not stop drinking, but he will begin to respect him. You are not the only wisdom in life and life itself will take care of your son, even if it seems to you that she is doing it somehow wrong Don't worry about your life, take care of yourself.

Olga, age: 27 / 09/07/2010

Hello. Forgive me, but it’s not for me to give you advice - I’m only 21 years old and you’re older (and therefore wiser and more experienced than me). I’m just familiar with this situation, so I decided to answer. I also gave up everything (4 years ago) and started drinking - I had a girlfriend and we broke up, I wanted to drown out this pain with alcohol. But after 2 years of drinking and partying, I changed. What am I leading to? Maybe your son has mental trauma? Try to interest him in something. Or how I was at first when I was cooling off from alcohol - I worked specifically at a factory - I didn’t have the energy or time to think. Believe me, you don’t want to drink after the plant. And most importantly, don’t abandon your son - parents are the only people who can really help us (children) in a difficult situation and on which we (children) can get ahead.

Iverii, age: 21/09/08/2010

Thanks to everyone who responded! Pray for me, tomorrow we are going to the doctor at the drug treatment hospital. I don’t remember what words I found. Perhaps for the first time I spoke not about the fact that my son was ruining his life, but about myself.

Ljuboljana, age: 53 / 09/08/2010

Lyuba, God bless you and your son!
God bless you! Pray, Lyubochka, that the Lord will position your son’s heart for treatment and healing! A mother’s prayer can do a lot. Believe me.

Elena, age: 45 / 09/08/2010

Lyuba, hello! I am painfully familiar with your story, because it is my story too. My son drinks. For a long time. And I probably shouldn’t live anymore, because I had constant thoughts of suicide. I just found Al-Anon - this family group mutual aid, where relatives of alcoholics gather and share experience, strength and hope. That's where mine began new life, where hope lives, where there is love for his son, compassion for his illness.
If you don't have more ideas, Come.

Tatyana, age: 51 / 08/16/2017


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Drinking children are a huge grief for parents. What should a mother do if her adult son drinks? This issue has been addressed for decades by narcologists, psychologists and simply concerned people. Anyone wants to help her drinking son loving mother, however, this help must be timely, and most importantly, correct, so as not to worsen the already difficult situation of a person dependent on alcohol.

Alcohol addiction is the most common type of pathological desire. According to World Organization Health care, the growth of alcoholism increases along with the material well-being of the population. Both men and women of all age categories, as well as social statuses, are at risk.

Statistics show that children with a hereditary predisposition to alcohol are much more likely to become addicted than children of non-drinking parents.

There are many factors influencing the fact that a person begins to drink alcohol uncontrollably, the main ones being:

  • hereditary changes in metabolic processes in the body, causing cravings and rapid addiction to ethyl alcohol;
  • certain personality traits;
  • family tradition where drinking is the norm;
  • unfavorable social environment;
  • early alcohol consumption adolescence.

Most often, a person at risk for developing alcoholism tries alcohol for the first time in adolescence. Pathological attraction in this case forms very quickly, literally within 2 years. At first, a teenager develops an interest in beer, and only later there is a desire to increase the strength of drinks. The causes of pathological craving for alcohol at this age, in addition to heredity, may be:

  • a history of traumatic brain injury;
  • tendency to hyperactivity and psychopathy;
  • unfavorable influence of drinking family members, social environment;
  • overprotection or physical and moral violence in the family;
  • negative peer influence;
  • increased emotional sensitivity to stressful situations, failures;
  • high level of anxiety;
  • low communication skills.

Episodic consumption of alcoholic beverages in adolescents is replaced by constant use in a fairly short period of time.

At a more mature age, alcohol dependence develops for a number of similar reasons, but the duration of the formation of this pathology is somewhat longer in time - from 3 to 5 years with regular alcohol consumption.

How to Identify Addictions by Behavior

Typically, young people begin to drink alcohol in a group of their peers; outside this group they do not have the desire to drink. Alcohol becomes an integral part of spending time together and communicating. Against the background of general euphoria, positive psychological motivation develops. The teenager is in complete denial of his dependence on alcohol, and there is also no control over the amount of alcohol he drinks.

Thus, psychological dependence is replaced by physical dependence. At this stage of development of painful desire, pathological changes psyche - a person becomes irritable, aggressive for no reason, at the same time he does not show initiative or interest in anything, is lethargic, apathetic. An uplift in mood occurs only if there is an immediate opportunity to drink alcohol. These are the very first signs of the formation of alcoholism.

At the next stage of development of the disease, a person loses the desire for social contacts, he becomes indifferent to his role in society, what he looks like, what they think about him. Decreasing mental ability - new information is difficult to comprehend, the memorization process is reduced, the speed of thought processes becomes slow.

At stages 2 and 3 of alcoholism, when drinking alcohol is stopped for a short time, withdrawal syndrome occurs - or the so-called “withdrawal syndrome”. In adolescents, it manifests itself with vegetative-vascular manifestations in the form of:

  • heart rhythm disturbances;
  • hypotension;
  • pale skin;
  • general weakness and lethargy.

In adults, withdrawal is expressed by mental manifestations - gloomy mood, increased irritability, inexplicable aggression towards others.

Unlike adults, teenagers cannot, due to physiological feature body, enter into drunken states. When consuming large doses of ethanol, they experience severe intoxication, accompanied by a gag reflex. Alcoholic psychoses also do not occur in adolescence. On the contrary, lethargy, drowsiness or hysteria appear. Adolescents may fake psychosis and withdrawal symptoms by imitating adults.

The main signs of alcoholism are:

  • systematic drinking of alcohol without an eventful reason;
  • uncontrollable irritation, aggressiveness;
  • unreasonable mood swings;
  • indifferent attitude towards oneself and others.

When you notice a combination of the described signs in your son, this is a sure sign that he is developing a pathological dependence on alcoholic beverages. In adults and adolescents, the diagnosis is made based on the collection of observational data and conversations with the patient, as well as with his close relatives.

How not to behave and what not to do if your son is an alcoholic

If your plan is to help your son return to sober image life, it is necessary to establish close, trusting relationships with him - without this, further steps will be meaningless.

You can find an approach if you take into account the following points that should be avoided if your son drinks:

  • escalate the situation with shouting and quarrels;
  • in conversations with your son, reproach, insult him, demonstrate your contempt;
  • force you to undergo treatment for alcoholism;
  • take on his responsibilities and regulate the consequences of his actions;
  • financially sponsor an able-bodied adult;
  • threaten something that is not realistic for you to fulfill;
  • to deceive about something;
  • create provocative situations with alcohol consumption.

The most important condition is goodwill with unobtrusiveness. Before you is an adult, he has the right to choose his destiny. Your task is to help make this step conscious and correct.

If your son has a family, you need to talk to his wife so that she becomes your ally. By combining joint efforts, we can ensure that a person stops drinking.

Depends on your patience, as well as persistent goodwill. further fate son, so try to remember these tips from a psychologist when your son drinks:

  1. create a calm, kind-hearted home environment;
  2. show yourself as his ally, no matter what happens, make it clear to your son that you need and love him;
  3. do not allow parasitism, create conditions under which a man will be forced to work in order to feel like a full-fledged member of the family, a husband for his wife, a father for his child and a caring son for his mother;
  4. show your son that you share his problem with him, sympathize with him, but this should be in moderation;
  5. give examples of alternatives to alcohol, tell about cases of someone you know returning to sobriety, even if this story is fiction;
  6. instill in your son confidence in himself, in his abilities, in his future life;
  7. help you prepare psychologically for drug treatment;
  8. try to protect your son from unwanted contacts with alcoholic friends;
  9. think about how you can diversify his free time, involving him in family affairs and household chores;
  10. tactfully tell him about the problems that alcohol intoxication may entail and give him the necessary advice.

Your behavior should radiate calm, and most importantly, confidence that the situation is under control and everything can be fixed. This is the only way to behave with an alcoholic son in order to achieve a change in the situation. It would be a good idea for you to consult with a psychologist on this topic, since you also need support.

When to take action

According to psychotherapists, the time factor plays an important role in the treatment of alcoholism. Some mothers mistakenly think that if today her son drinks not so often or a little, then no measures need to be taken, everything will go away somehow on its own. This is a big misconception, because every addiction has its beginning, developing at any age. Parents should pay attention to their son’s tendency to drink alcohol and in a friendly manner, but persistently explain to him that such a lifestyle is unacceptable in the family.

In the case when your son has some problems that are oppressing him, try to resolve them together, showing that alcohol is not a way out of the situation, but only aggravates it. Help should not be in words, but in deeds.

If the addiction has not become chronic, any mother can help her child. Contact a narcologist in a timely manner, conduct a course of psychotherapy, and, if necessary, encourage drug therapy with coding.

Any means should be used to treat alcohol addiction - use traditional methods, take herbal teas that cause aversion to alcohol, read prayers, and perhaps even turn to conspiracies. The most important thing is to act decisively without wasting precious time. You need to find an alternative to alcohol so that your son learns to enjoy life, and not from the amount of alcohol he drinks.