How to learn to be calm and not be nervous. Other ways to combat psychological fatigue

I’ll tell you how to learn to remain calm and cool in any situation without using motherwort and any other harmful substances. By applying the described techniques in practice, you will reduce the level of nervousness significantly. It will be very interesting, but first read the short introduction.

Over the past millennia, modern man has forgotten how to run all day long after potential prey and spend all his calories, but he has acquired the ability to get very nervous over any trifle. Unrest, and, as scientists have already proven, entail SERIOUS CONSEQUENCES, most of them fatal. And no matter how much a person understands this, he still continues to be nervous even because of a broken nail.

Why is a person nervous?

We all experience strong internal discomfort when we are nervous, and usually our nerves become tense when some important and responsible event or event is coming up. For example, a karate competition, performing in front of an audience (dancing, singing, theater, presentation), an interview, negotiations, and so on. All this makes us terribly nervous. But here it is important to take into account the physiological and psychological aspects of the individual. Physiological aspects are related to the properties of our nervous system, and psychological ones are associated with the characteristics of our personality: a tendency to overestimate any events (inflating from a fly into an elephant), uncertainty, worry about the final result, which leads to severe anxiety.

As a rule, a person begins to get nervous in situations that are considered dangerous for him or that threaten his life, or when he attaches excessive significance to a particular event. The first option disappears, since a threat in our lives does not often loom before us. But the second option is precisely the reason for everyday nervousness. A person is always afraid of something: hearing a refusal, looking like an idiot in front of the public, doing something wrong - this is what makes us very nervous. Therefore, the reasons for nervousness in to a greater extent plays psychological attitude rather than the physiological aspect. And so that stop being nervous, we need to understand the origin of nervousness, and, of course, begin to strengthen the nervous system. Having dealt with this, we will understand how to calm down.

Symptoms of nervousness

Do you think nervousness is a defense mechanism or an unnecessary hindrance? I think you will say both. When we are nervous, our palms and armpits begin to sweat, our heartbeat quickens, there is confusion in our heads, it is difficult to concentrate on something, we experience irritability and aggression, we cannot sit in one place, we have stomach pains and, of course, we want to go out on a big day. I think you are all familiar with this. These are all symptoms of nervousness.

How to calm down and stop being nervous?

Therefore, firmly understand that the tendency to nervousness is not a natural reaction of the body to some event or an incurable disease of your personality. I'm guessing it's most likely psychological mechanism, which is firmly entrenched in your system of habits. Or it could be a problem with the nervous system. Nervousness is your individual reaction to what is happening, and no matter what the situation is, you can react in every possible way. I am sure of one thing, nervousness can be eliminated and it is necessary to eliminate it, because when you are nervous:

Your thinking ability drops sharply, and therefore it is very difficult for you to focus on anything specific, and this can only complicate the situation, which requires clarity in your head. For example, on stage you may forget words, but during an exam you may not remember necessary information, and while driving you press the wrong pedal.
You lose control over your intonation, facial expressions, and gestures, which can lead to an undesirable outcome on a date or negotiations.
Because of nervousness, you get tired quickly, and this has a very detrimental effect on your health. And if you are often nervous, you may become seriously ill, which is highly undesirable.
You worry about little things, which is why you don’t pay attention to the most important and necessary things in your life.

I am sure that it will not be difficult for you to remember cases in your life when you were very nervous, as a result of which it had a bad effect on the results of your actions. I am sure that there were moments in your life when, due to psychological pressure, you broke down and lost control of yourself. From this we can draw the following conclusions:

There is no benefit from nervousness; it only interferes, and very much so.
You can stop being nervous only by working on yourself.
In fact, in our lives there are no real reasons to worry, since nothing threatens us and our loved ones, mostly we get nervous over trifles.

I won’t drag my feet, and I’ll tell you about the first way to stop being nervous. This is considered one of the the best ways. Have you noticed that when you are nervous, you rush around the room, you move!!! This means that if you jog, jump, lift weights, or hit a punching bag, you will stop being nervous and you will feel much better. After physical exercise You definitely need to do breathing exercises(more on that below), or do yoga. helps and slows down the rate of aging. Why don't you have a reason?

Now let's talk about the excessive significance that we attach to certain events. Remember those events in your life that made you very nervous: your boss calls you for a serious conversation, you pass an exam, you invite a girl or guy on a date. Remember and try to assess the level of their importance for you. Now think about your life plans and prospects. What do you want to achieve in this life? Do you remember? Now answer my question: is it really that scary to be late for work and is it worth being nervous about it? Is this something you need to think about?

After all, you will agree with me that in those moments when you are nervous, it is difficult for you to focus on the goals that are important to you. Therefore, instead of worrying about trifles, it is better to start thinking about your own and think about the future, because this is what is really important to you. I am sure that after changing your focus from unnecessary to necessary, you will stop being nervous.

But no matter how positively we set ourselves up, no matter how hard we try to convince our minds that there really is no point in being nervous, the body can still react in its own way. Therefore, let's step forward, where I will explain to you how to bring your body into a state of relaxation and calm before any upcoming important event, both during and after it.

How to calm down before an important event?

So, how not to be nervous before an important event? Every minute we are getting closer and closer to an important event, during which our ingenuity, will, and ingenuity will be severely tested, and if we are able to withstand this serious test, then life will generously reward us, and if not, then we are in trouble . This event could be a final interview for a specific position that you dream of, the conclusion of an important contract, an exam, a date, etc. And if you read the article carefully, you are well aware that you need to get rid of nervousness so that it does not interfere with focusing on the goal.

You understand perfectly well that a major event awaits you just around the corner, but no matter how important it is, all the same, even the worst outcome of this event will not be the end of the world for you. So stop dramatizing and ascribing undue importance to the event. Understand this is too much important event, and you shouldn't let nervousness ruin it. Therefore, be collected and focused and do everything necessary for this.

So, get rid of all thoughts of defeat from your head. Try not to think about anything, free your head from all thoughts, completely relax, take a deep breath, and then exhale. As I already said, yoga will help you with this. Here I want to give you a simple breathing technique.

Here's how to do it:

Inhale air for 5 counts (or 5 heartbeats),
Hold the air for 2-3 counts/beats,
Exhale for 5 counts/beats,
Don't breathe for 2-3 counts/beats.

In general, as the doctor says: breathe - don’t breathe. 5 seconds inhale - 3 seconds hold - 5 seconds exhale - 3 seconds hold.

If your breathing allows you to take deeper inhalations and exhalations, then increase the holding time.

Why are breathing exercises so effective? Because during the breathing exercise you are focused exclusively on breathing. This is the kind of thing I keep talking about. Meditation greatly helps you calm down and stop being nervous. Your head is in a state of emptiness, so you stop being nervous. By practicing breathing exercises, you will not only calm down right here and now, but you will also put your nervous system in order, and this will allow you to be less nervous without exercise.

So, here we are, preparing ourselves for an important event. Now let's talk about how to behave correctly during any event in order to be calm like a boa constrictor and relaxed like a sinew.

How not to be nervous during an important event?

My first advice to you is radiate calm no matter what. If positive attitude and meditation did not help you stop being nervous, then at least try to externally portray calm and serenity. The manifestation of external peace will be reflected in the internal. It works on the principle feedback, that is, not only yours inner feeling determines your gestures and facial expressions, but also your gestures and facial expressions determine your well-being. It is not at all difficult to check this. When you walk down the street with a straight posture, squared shoulders and a confident gait, you... If you walk with a stoop, barely move your legs, look at the floor, then the conclusions about you are appropriate.

So watch your facial expressions, gestures and intonation, namely, eliminate all movements of a nervous person. How does a nervous person behave? He picks his ear, pulls his hair, bites a pencil, slouches, cannot express a thought clearly, is pinned to a chair. Instead, sit cross-legged, straighten your shoulders, straighten your back, relax your face, take your time to answer, think first, then speak clearly and clearly.

After a meeting or event, whatever the outcome, the same techniques given above will help you calm down. It will be better if you stop scrolling through fruitless thoughts in your head like, if I said this..., and if I did this..., and it would be better if I kept silent..., and so on. Just stop thinking. You may not be able to do this right away, but over time you will forget anyway.

Finally, I want to tell you that you should not create reasons for concern. Many people simply make things up in their minds that it’s not even clear how they came up with it, this is especially true for women. Apparently, their imagination is more developed than that of men, but they just need to direct it in the right direction. Before you start worrying, carefully analyze whether it's worth it. If you can’t calm down, then just accept your situation and come to terms with it. Be nervous for your health, because sooner or later everything will end, and you will definitely calm down.

how to stop being nervous, how not to be nervous, how to calm down


	Like

People who are happy with everything in their lives can safely be called happy. After all, they don’t know what stress is. They simply do not experience overexertion and negative emotions, to which the body reacts. A person who is constantly in under stress, becomes angry, irritable and starts, as they say, half a turn. Sooner or later he gets tired of it. And he wonders - how to be calm in any situation and is this real? Well, everything is possible in our life. And this is no exception.

Voltage reduction

Every person interested in how to be calm in any situation needs to remember that nothing will work without minimizing emotional stress. First you need to start eating well and on time. And starting the morning with something tasty and loved will help lift your spirits. As well as a 10-minute exercise, which will also tone the body.

If a person is faced with a stressful factor at work, then he will have to learn to be distracted. You just need to think about something pleasant - about a house, a loved one, a cake, cats, anything. It’s also worth getting used to daily water procedures. To the bathhouse, shower, pool. Water calms the nerves.

And in general, if a person is thinking about how to be calm in any situation, it means it’s time to change something in his life. Maybe it has become terribly monotonous? Then it won’t hurt to introduce a new hobby or passion into it. The main thing is that it brings pleasure. A joyful, satisfied person simply does not want to be irritated.

Self-control

Typically, the question of how to be calm in any situation is asked by people who are constantly in a stressful environment. For example, at work every day your boss puts pressure on you or your colleagues irritate you with every word they say. There is only one way out - self-control.

An effective method is breathing practice. Namely the square technique. As soon as a person feels an attack of irritation, he will need to start breathing with his left nostril, then with his right, and then with his stomach and chest. This not only calms your heart rate, but also distracts you.

Or you can simply hold your breath and release it after half a minute. This helps minimize brain activity.

Methods of psychology

What happens in any situation if nothing helps? You can try to look at what is happening from the point of view of a balanced and restrained person. If so close friend or a relative, then half the job is done - clear example already there. We need to think - what would he do? This usually helps. Indeed, it is better to sit down and think than to tear and throw, which usually only aggravates the condition.

By the way, many people advise making a list of so-called personal irritants. You need to know the enemy by sight. And after compiling a list, you can come up with ways to actually cope with the irritant. The next time a person is faced with a source of stress, he will confidently be able to counter it with a predetermined method. This will be a small victory, which is guaranteed to improve your mood.

Motivation

There are different cases that make you think about how to remain calm in any situation. Most often people get angry because of failures. Something doesn't work out, and it drives me crazy. I want to give up everything, wash my hands and close myself off from everyone in my shelter. But this is not a solution. Well, motivation will help.

In a situation that is already “on the brink”, it is extremely important to support yourself. Words are powerful things. It’s worth convincing yourself that life gets worse before it gets better. And that even after dark night dawn always comes.

In general, it wouldn’t hurt to read a collection of motivational quotes. The most important things will naturally stick in your memory. For example, Stuart McRobert, a famous publicist and author of works on strength training, said: “You will have failures, injuries and mistakes. Depression and periods of despair. Work, study, family and everyday life will interfere with you more than once. But yours internal complex must constantly show only one direction - towards the goal." Stewart addressed athletes and bodybuilders who wanted to achieve victory and titles. But the whole point of this phrase is that it can be applied to any person and situation.

Physical energy release

Surely every person interested in how to behave calmly in any situation has noticed changes in their body at the moment of irritation. Your head begins to make noise, the pressure rises so rapidly that you even feel a pulsation in your temples, you have a desire to scream or even attack someone with your fists with the intention of tearing them to shreds.

You cannot keep such a reserve of energy within yourself. Will help physical relaxation. You can sign up for a boxing class, where in the evening you can happily take out all your anger and aggression on a punching bag, imagining the offender instead. Changes will be noticeable almost immediately. If the harmful boss starts making baseless remarks again, the person will automatically remember how yesterday he took it out on the punching bag, imagining the boss in her place. And he will be happy to note to himself that today he will be able to do it again. Besides, anger in this case will make a person better! Stronger, more physically developed, more beautiful. Sport is useful, after all, it is muscle relaxation, which relieves tension accumulating in the body. The well-known phrase is ideal for this case: “Excess energy should be directed in the right direction.”

Everything ends sooner or later

Many people live by this principle. And it's effective. How to learn to be calm in any situation? It is enough just to remember that this (this can be specified depending on the case) is not forever. A project with too much hassle will sooner or later be completed and closed. New job Someday you will be able to find it. It will also be possible to raise money for separate housing. The boss will sooner or later get tired of finding fault over trifles. In general, we need to be simpler.

By the way, this can be recommended to people who are worried about any important event. For example, before public speaking. True, there are also other ways. It is quite possible to be calm in any situation, even a very responsible one. You just need to set a short-term goal. Go out, give a speech, appear in better light, do everything that was rehearsed. That's it, the job is done - and was it worth the worry?

People are just afraid too much. Fear clouds their minds and makes it difficult for them to calm down. If you overcome this barrier and set yourself in the right peaceful mood, then everything will work out.

Change of scenery

There is one more piece of advice that can answer the question of how to be calm in any situation. There are different practices. And one of the most effective is to change the environment. Not only physical, but also internal. Many people make a grave mistake - they return home from work, dragging with them a load of stress, worries, conflicts and problems. While in their “fortress”, they continue to think about their worries. And they don’t rest at all. You need to get used to clearly separating work and everything else - rest, home, friends, family, entertainment. Otherwise the vicious circle will never be broken.

It’s worth trying, and a person will soon begin to notice that the thought “Well, again, how tired of all this, not a moment of peace” appears in his head less and less often.

Domestic situations

Much has been said above about how to be calm in any situation and not be nervous when it comes to work, life in society and society in general. But what about ordinary, “home” cases? If a person gets irritated in front of his family and friends and lashes out at them, then this is bad. The source again lies in his external failures associated with work, dissatisfaction with his personal life, and lack of money. But those close to you are not to blame. In order not to be annoyed with them, you need to understand this. And don't be dramatic. If close person found out how things were going at work, he didn’t want to once again remind about the bad boss, annoying colleagues and unloved position. He just showed attention.

And this also happens - a person is simply annoyed by his interlocutor, who, as they say, goes too far. He is interested in things that do not concern him, asks about too personal things, imposes his opinion, tries to convince him of something, proves his opponent wrong. In this case, the person was unlucky. But the issue can be solved simply. You just need to politely put your interlocutor down or move the conversation in a different direction.

The secret is happiness

Quite a lot has been said above about how to be calm in any situation. Psychology is an interesting science. And experts in this field can advise a lot of useful things. But the most important thing that everyone should learn is that the secret of peace lies in happiness. A person who likes everything in his life is always satisfied and happy. He doesn’t get irritated by little things, because he doesn’t care about anything - after all, everything is fine with him. Therefore, if too much has fallen on your shoulders, and it doesn’t give you peace, reminding you of yourself every second, it’s time to change your life. And you don’t need to be afraid to do this. After all, as the famous American writer Richard Bach said, there are no limits for us.

In this article I will talk about how to stop being nervous. I will explain how to remain calm and cool in any life situation without the help of sedatives, alcohol and other things. I will talk not only about how to suppress states of nervousness and calm down, but I will also explain how you can stop being nervous in general, bring the body into a state in which this feeling simply cannot arise, in general, how to calm your mind and how to strengthen the nervous system.

The article will be structured in the form consecutive lessons and it is better to read them in order.

When do we get nervous?

Nervousness and jitters are that feeling of discomfort that you experience on the eve of important, responsible events and activities, during psychological stress and stress, in problematic life situations, and simply worry about all sorts of little things. It is important to understand that nervousness has how psychological so and physiological reasons and manifests itself accordingly. Physiologically, this is connected with the properties of our nervous system, and psychologically, with the characteristics of our personality: a tendency to worry, overestimation of the significance of certain events, a feeling of self-doubt and what is happening, shyness, worry about the result.

We begin to get nervous in situations that we consider either dangerous, threatening our lives, or for one reason or another significant or responsible. I think that a threat to life does not often loom before us, ordinary people. Therefore, I consider situations of the second type to be the main reason for nervousness in everyday life. Fear of failure, of looking inappropriate in front of people- all this makes us nervous. In relation to these fears, there is a certain psychological attunement; this has little to do with our physiology. Therefore, in order to stop being nervous, it is necessary not only to put the nervous system in order, but to understand and realize certain things, let’s start with understanding the nature of nervousness.

Lesson 1. The nature of nervousness. Necessary defense mechanism or hindrance?

Our palms begin to sweat, we may experience tremors, increased heart rate, increased blood pressure, confusion in our thoughts, it is difficult to gather ourselves, concentrate, it is difficult to sit still, we want to occupy our hands with something, smoke. These are the symptoms of nervousness. Now ask yourself, how much do they help you? Do they help cope with stressful situations? Are you better at negotiating, taking an exam, or communicating on a first date when you're on edge? The answer is, of course not, and what’s more, it can ruin the whole result.

Therefore, it is necessary to firmly understand that the tendency to be nervous is not a natural reaction of the body to a stressful situation or some ineradicable feature of your personality. Rather, it is simply a certain mental mechanism embedded in a system of habits and/or a consequence of problems with the nervous system. Stress is only your reaction to what is happening, and no matter what happens, you can always react to it in different ways! I assure you that the impact of stress can be minimized and nervousness eliminated. But why eliminate this? Because when you're nervous:

Your thinking ability decreases and you have a harder time concentrating, which can make things worse and require your mental resources to be stretched to the limit.
You have less control over your intonation, facial expressions, and gestures, which can have a bad effect on important negotiations or a date.
Nervousness causes fatigue and tension to accumulate more quickly, which is bad for your health and well-being.
If you are often nervous, this can lead to various diseases (however, a very significant part of diseases stem from problems of the nervous system)
You worry about little things and therefore do not pay attention to the most important and valuable things in your life.
you are susceptible bad habits:, alcohol, because you need something to relieve tension

Remember all those situations when you were very nervous and this negatively affected the results of your actions. Surely everyone has many examples of how you broke down, unable to withstand psychological pressure, lost control and were deprived. So we will work with you on this.

Here is the first lesson, during which we learned that:

Nervousness does not bring any benefit, but only hinders
You can get rid of it by working on yourself
IN everyday life there are few real reasons to be nervous, since we or our loved ones are rarely in danger, we mostly worry about trifles

I will return to the last point in the next lesson and, in more detail, at the end of the article and tell you why this is so.

You should configure yourself like this:

I have no reason to be nervous, it bothers me and I intend to get rid of it and this is real!

Don’t think that I’m just talking about something that I myself have no idea about. Throughout my childhood, and then my youth, until I was 24 years old, I experienced big pain. I couldn't pull myself together stressful situations, worried about every little thing, even almost fainted because of his sensitivity! This had a negative impact on health: pressure surges began to be observed, “ panic attacks", dizziness, etc. Now all this is in the past.

Of course, I can’t say now that I have the best self-control in the world, but still, I stopped being nervous in those situations that make most people nervous, I became much calmer, compared to my previous state, I reached a fundamentally different level of self-control. Of course I still have a lot to work on, but I'm at the right way and there is dynamics and progress, I know what to do.

In general, everything I’m talking about here is based solely on my experience of self-development, I’m not making anything up and I’m only talking about what helped me. So if I had not been such a painful, vulnerable and sensitive young man and, then, as a result of personal problems, I had not begun to remake myself - all this experience and the site that summarizes and structures it would not have existed.

Lesson 2. How to stop being nervous about anything?

Think about all those events that make you nervous: your boss calls you, you take an exam, you expect an unpleasant conversation. Think about all these things, assess the degree of their importance to you, but not in isolation, but within the context of your life, your global plans and prospects. What is the significance of an altercation on public transport or on the road on a life-long scale, and is it really such a terrible thing to be late for work and be nervous about it?

Is this something to think about and worry about? At such moments, focus on the purpose of your life, think about the future, take a break from the current moment. I am sure that from this perspective, many things that you are nervous about will immediately lose their significance in your eyes, will turn into mere trifles, which they certainly are and, therefore, will not be worth your worries.

This psychological setting helps a lot stop being nervous about anything. But no matter how well we set ourselves up, although this will certainly have a positive effect, it will still not be enough, since the body, despite all the arguments of the mind, can react in its own way. Therefore, let's move on and I will explain how to bring the body into a state of calm and relaxation immediately before any event, during and after it.

Lesson 3. Preparation. How to calm down before an important event.

Now some kind of important event, during which our intelligence, concentration and will will be tested, and if we successfully pass this test, then fate will generously reward us, otherwise we will lose. This event could be a final interview for the job you dream of, important negotiations, a date, an exam, etc. In general, you have already learned the first two lessons and understand that nervousness can be stopped and this must be done so that this condition does not prevent you from focusing on the goal and achieving it.

And you realize that an important event awaits you ahead, but no matter how significant it is, even the worst outcome of such an event will not mean the end of your whole life for you: there is no need to dramatize and overestimate everything. It is precisely from the very importance of this event that the need to be calm and not worry arises. This is too important an event to let nervousness ruin it, so I will be collected and focused and will do everything for this!

Now we bring our thoughts to calm, relieve the jitters. First, immediately throw all thoughts of failure out of your head. In general, try to calm down the fuss and not think about anything. Free your head from thoughts, relax your body, exhale and inhale deeply. The simplest breathing exercises will help you relax.

Simple breathing exercises.

It should be done like this:

inhale for 4 counts (or 4 pulse beats, you need to feel it first, it’s more convenient to do this on the neck, not on the wrist)
keep the air in for 2 counts/hits
exhale for 4 counts/beats
do not breathe for 2 counts/beats and then inhale again for 4 counts/beats - all from the beginning

In short, as the doctor says: breathe - don’t breathe. 4 seconds inhale - 2 seconds hold - 4 seconds exhale - 2 seconds hold.

If you feel that your breathing allows you to take deeper inhalations/exhalations, then do the cycle not 4/2 seconds but 6/3 or 8/4 and so on.

You just need to breathe with your diaphragm, that is, with your stomach! During times of stress, we breathe rapidly from the chest, while diaphragmatic breathing calms the heartbeat, suppressing the physiological signs of nervousness, bringing you into a state of calm.

During the exercise, keep your attention only on your breathing! There should be no more thoughts! This is the most important thing. And then after 3 minutes you will feel relaxed and calm. The exercise is done for no more than 5-7 minutes, according to how it feels. When practiced regularly, breathing practice not only helps you relax here and now, but also in general puts the nervous system in order and you are less nervous without any exercise. So I highly recommend it.

You can see my video on how to do diaphragmatic breathing correctly at the end of this article. In this video I talk about how to cope with panic using breathing. But this method will also allow you to get rid of nervousness, calm down and pull yourself together.

Other relaxation techniques are presented in my article.

Okay, so we are prepared. But the time for the event itself has already arrived. Next I will talk about how to behave during the event so as not to be nervous and to be calm and relaxed.

Lesson 4. How to avoid nervousness during an important meeting.

Pretend to be calm: even if neither your emotional mood nor breathing exercises helped you relieve tension, then at least try with all your might to demonstrate external calm and equanimity. And this is necessary not only to mislead your opponents about your state on at the moment. Expressing outer peace helps to achieve inner peace. This operates on the principle of feedback, not only how you feel determines your facial expressions, but also your facial expressions determine how you feel. This principle is easy to verify: when you smile at someone, you feel better and more cheerful, even if you were in a bad mood. I actively use this principle in my daily practice and this is not my invention, it is really a fact, it is even written about in Wikipedia in the article “emotions”. So the calmer you want to appear, the more relaxed you actually become.

Watch your facial expressions, gestures and intonation: The feedback principle obliges you to constantly look inside yourself and be aware of how you look from the outside. Do you seem too stressed? Are your eyes shifting? Are the movements smooth and measured or abrupt and impulsive? Does your face express cold impenetrability or can all your excitement be read on it? In accordance with the information about yourself received from your senses, you adjust all your body movements, voice, and facial expression. The fact that you have to take care of yourself in itself helps you get together and concentrate. And it’s not just that with the help of internal observation you control yourself. By observing yourself, you focus your thoughts on one point - on yourself, and do not let them get confused and lead you in the wrong direction. This is how concentration and calm are achieved.

Eliminate all markers of nervousness: What do you usually do when you're nervous? Are you fiddling with a ballpoint pen? Are you chewing on a pencil? Tie it in a knot thumb and the little toe of the left foot? Now forget about it, keep your hands straight and don’t change their positions often. We don’t fidget in our chair, we don’t shift from foot to foot. We continue to look after ourselves.

Take your time: rush and bustle always sets a special nervous tone. Therefore, take your time even if you are late for a meeting. Since any rush very quickly disrupts composure and a calm mood. You begin to nervously rush from one to another, in the end you only provoke excitement. No matter how much you are rushed, do not rush, being late is not so scary, it is better to save your nerves. This applies not only to important meetings: try to get rid of haste in every aspect of your life: when you are getting ready for work, traveling in public transport, doing work. It's an illusion that when you rush, you achieve results faster. Yes, the speed increases, but only slightly, but you lose a lot in composure and concentration.

That's all. All these principles complement each other and can be summarized in the call “ watch yourself". The rest is specific and depends on the nature of the meeting itself. I would only advise you to think about each of your phrases, take your time with your answer, carefully weigh and analyze everything. No need to try to impress everyone accessible ways, you will produce it anyway if you do everything correctly and don’t worry, work on the quality of your performance. There is no need to mumble and get lost if you are caught by surprise: calmly swallow, forget and move on.

Lesson 5. Calm down after the meeting.

Whatever the outcome of the event. You're on edge and still feeling stressed. It's better to take it off and think about something else. All the same principles apply here that helped you pull yourself together before the meeting itself. Try not to think too much about the past event: I mean all sorts of fruitless thoughts, what if I had performed this way and not that way, oh, how stupid I must have looked, oh I’m a fool, what if...! Just throw all thoughts out of your head, get rid of the subjunctive mood (if), everything has already passed, put your breathing in order and relax your body. That's all for this lesson.

Lesson 6. You shouldn’t create any reasons for nervousness at all.

This is a very important lesson. Typically, a significant factor in nervousness is the inadequacy of your preparation for the upcoming event. When you know everything and are confident in yourself, why should you worry about the result?

When I was studying at the institute, I missed a lot of lectures and seminars, I went to the exams completely unprepared, hoping that I would pass and somehow pass. In the end, I passed, but only thanks to phenomenal luck or the kindness of the teachers. I often went for retakes. As a result, during the session I experienced such unprecedented psychological pressure every day due to the fact that I was trying to prepare in a hurry and somehow pass the exam.

An unreal number of people were destroyed during the sessions. nerve cells. And I still felt sorry for myself, I thought that there was so much that had piled up, how hard it was, eh... Although it was all my fault, if I had done everything in advance (I didn’t have to go to lectures, but at least the material to prepare for the exam and pass I could provide myself with all the intermediate control tests - but then I was laziness and I was not at least somehow organized), then I would not have to be so nervous during the exams and worry about the result and about the fact that I would be drafted into the army if I I won’t hand over something, because I would be confident in my knowledge.

This is not a call not to miss lectures and study at institutes, I’m talking about the fact that you need to try yourself Do not create stress factors for yourself in the future! Think ahead and prepare for business and important meetings, do everything on time and don’t put it off until the last minute! Always have a ready-made plan in your head, or better yet several! This will save you a significant part of the nerve cells, and in general will help great success in life. This is a very important and useful principle! Use it!

Lesson 7. How to strengthen the nervous system and how to stop getting nervous over trifles

In order to stop being nervous, it is not enough just to follow the lessons that I outlined above. It is also necessary to bring the body and mind into a state of peace. And the next thing I’ll tell you about will be those rules, by following which you can strengthen your nervous system and experience less nervousness in general, be calmer and more relaxed. As a result of this you will understand how to stop being nervous over trifles. These methods are focused on long-term results; they will make you less susceptible to stress in general, and not only prepare you for a responsible event.

Firstly, in order to correct the physiological factor of nervousness and bring the nervous system to a state of rest, you need to regularly. This is very good for calming the nervous system and calming the mind. I’ve written a lot about this, so I won’t dwell on it.
Secondly, go in for sports () and carry out a set of health-supporting measures (contrast shower, healthy eating, vitamins, etc.). A healthy body has a healthy mind: your moral well-being depends not only on mental factors. Sports strengthens the nervous system.
Walk more, spend time outdoors, try to sit in front of the computer less.

First of all, in order to somehow reduce nervous tension, you need to stop paying too much attention to problems that happened in the past and possible troubles awaiting you in the future, and concentrate as much as possible on solving current problems. It's not that you live for today. Rather, on the contrary, the more you do today, the more you will prepare the ground for new victories.

Don't poison your life with thoughts about past failures. This cannot be changed. Live here and now.

It is important to learn how to effectively solve problems. Write down everything that worries you on a piece of paper. Next, next to each problem, indicate ways to resolve the situation. Set your priorities. What matters require immediate execution? Is it possible to postpone something until later? Write it all down in your planner and cross it off as you go. This way of doing things not only gives good discipline, but also allows you to get rid of nervous tension.

In addition, when analyzing the current situation, think about the worst possible consequences. What can you do to prevent this from happening? How will this affect your life? As a rule, after working through such a negative scenario, you will understand that everything is not as scary as it seems at first glance, so don’t even be nervous.

Working on yourself

For some people, worrying about trifles is a kind of hobby with which they literally torment their loved ones. In their opinion, not on any occasion, especially about the fate of others - this is a degree of selfishness. It doesn’t even occur to them that excessive worry will only lead to sleep disturbances, loss of appetite, deterioration in the condition of hair and nails, and so on. negative factors, but it’s unlikely to change anything.

If you are overwhelmed with compassion, then you should try to help this or that person in the current situation, and not torment yourself with empty worries.

On the other hand, there are those who deliberately invent new fears for themselves. Are you afraid that you will be kicked out of your job? That your wife will leave you? That in a month you will gain a couple of kilograms? Enough! You can always find another job, not all wives and husbands of their other halves. As you gain weight, you will lose weight. And are there real prerequisites for all this?

If you are worried about your own imperfection, then it’s time to start loving yourself as you are. Still, self-love is the basis for finding peace of mind.

What to do if anxiety and constant worry haunt you at every step? Where does excessive concern for your child come from? What to do if the slightest reason makes you nervous, instills fear for the health and fate of the child, for his development, his future?

Anxiety and constant anxiety- permanent companions of my life. The man you love is late at a meeting? The imagination immediately palms off terrible pictures of his betrayal. At work, the boss looked askance in my direction - apparently, he was thinking that it was time to remove me from my position. And the anxiety about the child simply goes beyond all limits: in the ten minutes that he is late for school, I manage to call a dozen hospitals and a couple of police departments. How to stop worrying and constantly worrying about trifles?

From a fly to an elephant - how to stop worrying for the owner of a rich imagination

Not every one of us has any trivial occasion that can cause such a storm of emotions. System-vector psychology of Yuri Burlan explains that those who are naturally the most sensitive and emotional are those with.

The basic emotion in such people is fear of death. At proper development in childhood and adequate implementation in adulthood, visual people learn to bring out their emotions through empathy and compassion for others. They are the ones who are actively helping those who need it most – children, the elderly, the seriously ill, and the disabled. In this case, concern arises not about oneself, but about another person, about his conditions and problems.

But this doesn't always happen. Due to childhood psychotrauma or lack of necessary social realization, the owner of the visual vector may remain in fear for many years. Then his entire incredible range of emotions results in anxiety and fear for any reason, he begins to get nervous over trifles.

Even as an adult, such a person may be afraid to sleep without light, to go to an unfamiliar place alone, or to meet people. Numerous fears (getting hit by a car, getting infected terrible disease etc.) can develop into serious phobias and even result in panic attacks.

To stop constantly worrying and worrying, owners of the visual vector need to:

Thoroughly understand the structure of your psyche in order to accurately know and actively apply your innate properties and talents for the benefit of society.

Get rid of all mental traumas and “anchors” that interfere with active implementation.

This can be done during training system-vector psychology Yuri Burlan. Here's what they say about its effectiveness scientific method those people who managed to forever stop worrying about every minor issue and start living calmly and joyfully:

How to stop worrying about your loved one

But what about when the concern arises not about yourself, but about another person? Is it natural to worry and feel anxious, for example, because of the man you love? It turns out that if I worry not about myself, but about someone else, then I adequately realize my visual vector?

This is not entirely true. If a woman experiences constant fear that something will happen to her partner, fears his leaving or betrayal, and throws endless hysterics, these conditions cannot be called healthy and adequate. Although it seems that the anxiety arose because of the man or woman we love, in reality we are simply afraid of losing something that is very significant to ourselves. What is this?

A visual person comprehends his life in love and building emotional connections. When the visual vector is sufficiently realized, its bearer has real fearlessness. When a person is filled with love, there is no room for fear. He generously gives his feelings and compassion without demanding anything in return.

However, when the properties of a vector lack implementation, the viewer does not give, but, on the contrary, endlessly demands attention, sympathy and love. Feels constant anxiety and fear of losing the source that gives him positive emotions.

This scheme does not at all contribute to building healthy relationships in a couple, but quite the opposite. Instead of deep emotional connection A real emotional dependence arises, which does not create, but destroys relationships. How to stop being nervous and destroying the relationships that are so dear to you?

At the training on system-vector psychology by Yuri Burlan, you will be able to thoroughly understand what is happening in your soul and in the soul of your partner. Many people left reviews about how they managed to improve their health, which already seemed hopeless:

How to stop being nervous about your child

Where does excessive concern for your child come from? What to do if the slightest reason makes you nervous, instills fear for the health and fate of the child, for his development, his future?

System-vector psychology of Yuri Burlan explains that owners of the anal vector comprehend their lives in the family and children, for them these are the dominant values. Caring and worrying about your child is not uncommon for such a person.

However, sometimes the situation goes beyond reason. This is most clearly expressed in owners of the anal-visual ligament of vectors, when the properties of the visual vector are not realized and the person is in constant fears. In such a situation, he begins to get nervous and worry about the child over mere trifles.

As soon as a child sneezes, it is perceived as a harbinger of a serious illness. Being five minutes late from school throws a parent into panic. Care and guardianship characteristic of owners, turn into overprotection and constant control over the child’s life. It is clear that this does not contribute either to the normal development of the child himself or to the establishment of good, trusting relationships between children and parents.

The article was written based on training materials “ System-vector psychology»