The words “complex” and “stress” are firmly entrenched in our vocabulary. But it is the nature of any person to be afraid of something, to be offended, to be embarrassed, to worry about something. This has always been the case and love simply accepted these sensations and emotions, experienced them, overcame them. And then they were collected into a single row and called a capacious term - complexes.

Therefore, of course, all people, without exception, have these complexes to one degree or another. But what is noteworthy is that women are still more susceptible to them than the stronger half of humanity. At least that's what psychologists say. Men look at things more simply, worry less about their appearance and about women’s attitude towards them. In contrast, the weaker sex begins to worry about every reason.

But where do complexes come from? Is it necessary to fight complexes or let everything remain as it is? But if you still need to get rid of them, then how? Let's find answers to these questions together:

Why are they dangerous?

There are no people in the world who would be absolutely satisfied with themselves. And this is even very good, first of all for ourselves. After all, if each of us considered ourselves perfect, we would never be able to achieve anything in life. But sometimes discontent crosses the line when it does no harm. And at this moment it can become a real psychological complex that prevents you from living normally and achieving success.

Under the influence of complexes, a person begins to examine his shortcomings through a “magnifying glass.” He worries about this, but cannot soberly assess what is happening to him. He harms himself, following the lead of his worldview, he loses many chances that life gives him.

Where do complexes come from?

They are instilled from childhood by our parents, close relatives and those people who at that time are considered authorities for us, whose opinion is valuable to us. Without meaning to, they reward us not only with complexes, but also with fears and sometimes phobias that stay with us and carry on into adulthood.

For example, if a mother, of course, wanting only the best for her daughter, repeats many times that her daughter is certainly pretty, but is unlikely to grow up to be a beauty, the child may gradually develop an inferiority complex about her appearance.

Therefore, it is easy to acquire complexes, but it is very difficult to get rid of them. Once said offensive words, take root, remain, turn into a complex that gradually becomes part of the personality and is no longer perceived as a limiter of our personality.

The most negative of all is the inferiority complex. Everyone else clings to him. And this is understandable. If a person is confident in himself and his abilities, it is more difficult for him to succumb to other internal limiters. But there are very few such self-confident people.

How to deal with them?

The problem is that a person may not be aware of their presence. It may seem to him that this is simply a manifestation of his personality, a character trait. Therefore, he often seeks and finds justification for his actions. At the same time, he blames external circumstances for what happened, they say, I have nothing to do with it, this is how life turned out, not realizing that his personal internal limiters - complexes - are to blame for everything.

But if he begins to understand this, realizes the cause of negative circumstances that could have been avoided, he will take the first step towards overcoming his complexes. After all, they are often the ones that prevent you from living and achieving your goals.

Therefore, psychologists advise:

If the complex has not yet developed into a phobia and has not become a clinical case, it needs to be realized. Just accept that it exists.

When you realize that you have this internal limiter that is holding you back, preventing you from achieving your plans and moving forward, accept it. Just tell yourself - yes, I have this complex, and it has already become a feature of my character, perceived by me and others as part of my personality. As soon as you realize, accept it, feel your limiter as part of yourself, its impact on you will significantly decrease. This is how the human psyche works.

And now the time comes for its transformation. It will not disappear, but will be transformed into a normal quality inherent in all people, but will no longer interfere with you, on the contrary, it will help you feel real strong personality. The inferiority complex will turn into normal self-criticism. If there was a superiority complex, self-respect will appear. Well, a constant feeling of guilt will become a normal feeling of compassion.

Remember that we all have our own internal limitations. But many have the courage to recognize them, understand that they greatly complicate life and wave them goodbye. To do this, tell yourself more often, albeit a banal, but very effective phrase - “Don’t worry about it!”

To begin with, try to pay less attention to what they say about you. The main thing is what you think about yourself. Gradually get rid of the feeling of dependence on other people's opinions.

Ask yourself a question: Why am I worried, for example, about my appearance? What’s wrong with me and why do I want to change it, become more beautiful? Maybe in order to please others? But do I need it myself?

In this case, psychologists say that you need to learn to love yourself for who you are. After all, you are unique and there is no other person like you in the world. As soon as you understand this, love yourself, your complexes will immediately leave you.

Every person has obvious or imaginary shortcomings. Some people prefer to suffer from them all their lives, while others begin to look for ways out of the illusions of inferiority. As psychologists say, it doesn’t matter how many shortcomings you have, what’s more important is what actions you take to get rid of them. If you are one of those people who believe that a lot can be changed, then find out how to get rid of complexes and start taking action right now. So, go ahead, to freedom!

It was no coincidence that we included a picture of a girl kissing a toad. Getting rid of complexes is very similar to such a kiss, after which instant transformation will follow. It is not for nothing that fairy tales have an instructive hint. Likewise, we, with our complexes, very often feel disgusting and unworthy of more, until luck kisses us. Sometimes, to get rid of complexes, just one word or event spoken at the right time is enough, for example, you can wake up famous. Then this will be your luck. But more often it happens that luck lies in what you saw necessary information, which served as the impetus for your transformation.

How to get rid of an inferiority complex

Sometimes our shortcomings turn out to be imaginary, inspired by others or by means mass media. Remember magazines and films where success and happy life accompanies only beautiful, slender and cheerful heroes? We do not always see in the mirror those standards of beauty that the public imposes on us, and many suffer from this and consider themselves inferior, unworthy or failures.

How to get rid of complexes: 5 steps to freedom

1. Forgive yourself for past mistakes. The sages say that a person has not made a single mistake in his life, it’s just his personal path to God. Psychologists completely agree with this, but explain this theory in their own words: if you want to live happily and receive gifts from fate, then you should not drag the burden of the past with you. Guilt gives rise to the most powerful complexes that settle deep in the subconscious. If you want change, stop reproaching yourself for the past and start living in the present.
2. Pay attention to the warm, encouraging words that you hear every day, but are so busy criticizing yourself that you simply do not notice how others really perceive you. Believe me, if they call you kind, sympathetic or beautiful, then you really are! It’s especially nice to hear the opinions of men. We advise you to visit their company more often.
3. Don't focus on failures, but notice every success you have. For some people, getting out of bed every morning is already a feat, remember Jackie Chan, who received so many fractures that he could only get up after two hours of special exercises. Praise yourself mentally for every little thing you did today.
4. Don't beat yourself up for your shortcomings. In fact, it may simply be far-fetched. Even if you notice that you often allow yourself to be lazy, to be rude, to be cunning, to look sloppy, in fact, this may only seem like it to you, since you are too demanding of yourself and a minute of rest already seems like laziness to you. And if this is true, then accept your “shortcomings” as a feature, because a mother with many children only has to dream of the opportunity to be lazy, and she may even envy you about this. Don't beat yourself up for your shortcomings!
5. Pamper yourself, give yourself gifts. If you don't start doing this for yourself, then others won't start either. When you consider yourself worthy of the best and give yourself generous gifts, then those around you begin to treat you differently. Get into the habit of encouraging yourself: let each of your achievements be crowned with a gift. But in our lives we so often achieve good results: passing exams, creating masterpieces, launching projects, jogging in the morning, a bonus for excellent work. Find a reason to pamper yourself every day!

We are trying to get rid of appearance complexes

If you have noticed, people are often unhappy with their appearance. For some, this comes to the point of manic exaggeration of their shortcomings. Even mental disorders are known, when in appearance handsome man considers himself a freak, which is why he is very popular now plastic surgery. It has been noticed that having corrected one thing in oneself, a person comes to the surgeon again and again, although he should have simply asked how to get rid of an inferiority complex. True, the problem is that often people with an appearance complex do not hear the arguments of others that, in fact, they are very attractive and they do not need to change anything about themselves.

How to get rid of complexes with the help of art therapy?

If you have a panicky fear of a person, a boss, a relative, or other negative emotions that prevent you from achieving your goals in life or simply living calmly and in joy, then art comes to the rescue. You don't have to be a great artist or musician here, but you can draw your problem and burn this sheet, as if getting rid of it. Or give the problem a funny look, make a caricature, which will help free the subconscious from unpleasant emotions.

Now there are art therapy specialists who are interested in how to get rid of complexes quickly. Turning to psychologists has not yet become fashionable in Russia, but visiting such a specialist does not even resemble a session with a psychotherapist. It's more like a kindergarten. You come, start drawing, dancing or singing and your fears and shortcomings disappear in one such activity.

Barriers that prevent you from living fully, fulfilling desires and being happy are complexes. How and when are they formed? How to find and neutralize them? The techniques given in the article will allow you to get rid of complexes, add joy and success in life.

You have often watched or read stories of winners - people who have achieved a lot, become famous and rich. They all have similar traits - a strong will, high self-esteem, the ability to motivate yourself and overcome laziness. The site is full of materials to help you become a winner. The components of success are laid out and given step by step instructions. However, often knowledge of how to achieve a goal, motivation and will are powerless. Why?

Because everything breaks against a certain barrier - circumstances that inevitably throw us back. I promised to talk about these barriers and ways to neutralize them. Gradually, with each new article in the “Development” section, I am fulfilling my promise. Now we will talk about complexes.

As usual, high-quality material with theory and practice awaits you. We will look at the connections between psychological complexes and bodily blocks, periods of life and destiny programs. This will allow us to get rid of complexes without resorting to long-term psychotherapy and similar exhausting actions.

The fact is that it is impossible to eliminate complexes using the usual techniques offered by practical psychology. These techniques work with blocks that lie in the conscious area. The authors of articles and books reassure the reader, gradually leading them to the idea of ​​the need for the services of a psychoanalyst. Or, having collected superficial information, they write without knowing what.

People reading books on practical psychology, use opinions and tools without understanding how they were obtained. They don't know what it is psychological laboratory how hypotheses are made and theories developed. How are hypotheses tested using control groups? How works are written and grants are awarded for the development of a certain area. They don't need it. And they are right.

The criterion for the success of the model is the result. If there is no result, the model is a figment of immature imagination. There is a result - you have selected the right tools.

The techniques I suggest are based on the use of loops feedback with the body. They are not my invention, they are master keys used in body-oriented psychotherapy, Reichian therapy, Gestalt therapy, bioenergetics, EFT, osteopathy and NLP. The author's merit is the creation of connections that make it possible to work most effectively with imprinted fears, bringing them into the realm of consciousness with the help of written techniques and establishing the topography of the bodily blocks of these imprints. Next, it remains to work with blocks - directly and indirectly. Directly means to influence the body. Indirectly – work with created imprint labels, reframing tools and others.

How to use the article?

You already understand that the article “How to get rid of complexes - effective methods"is far from a psychological educational program or a review of Runet chatter. If you drop by to have fun, Google and Yandex are there to help. I won’t waste time describing in vivid colors the harm caused by the presence of complexes, giving examples for preschoolers. Therefore, if you want to get real help, follow all recommendations and keep a diary of observations while working.

If you complete the tasks flawlessly and follow the dynamics of change, you will be convinced that the complexes have disappeared. I will save you many months of psychotherapy and between 3 and 8 thousand dollars.

Observation diary

The diary, where you will track the dynamics of getting rid of complexes, has the following structure:

The date is clear. "What did I do?" – describe the complex and your actions to eliminate it. “Testing” - describes how you tested yourself, that is, created situations that you had avoided before. “Results” - you write what happened during the test. Why? You write why it worked or didn’t work. Describe your thoughts and feelings at the time of the test. Then you check with the desired result, adjust and try again.

It is impossible to get rid of complexes without working on yourself. Psychological articles will pleasantly tickle the mind, but will not remove fear - the basis of any complex. I have already written about local methods of relieving fear in the article “How to overcome fear? " Having worked with complexes, you will remove some annoying and sometimes funny fears forever.

Fate - boundaries and gaps

Where does the joy go?

Why do 99% of people remember their childhood fondly? Because in childhood we are happy. No matter what trials life brought us (in the person of parents or peers), we often rejoiced. Joy is the natural state of a child. What reasons did we have for joy? Yes, none - we were happy for any reason. We were free from most of our current fears and limitations. We were innocent.

What is innocence? Why is this quality attributed to animals and children? Because they do not know the difference between right and wrong, they are free from shame and guilt. No animal is able to evaluate itself as good or bad. This is a person’s prerogative, and besides, the assessment depends on upbringing.

People come to a psychotherapist, coach or their wise friend asking for help. Everyone's situation is different, but if you strip away the packaging, what's left? Lack of joy and constant mental pain. She may have different names– depression, phobia, psychosomatic pain, dissatisfaction with oneself, pathological jealousy, inability to communicate normally. Sometimes it's just bad luck in business.

What takes away our joy? Restrictions! Physical – in the form of pain or weakness. Social – in the form of inaccessibility of what is desired. Psychological – in the form of lack of will, stupor and fear. Real and imaginary fears - being punished, misunderstood, rejected, ridiculed, humiliated.

The joy goes away. It hides in the recesses of our childhood, sometimes breaking through quickly drying fontanelles. Something happens, and for a moment we forget about our own limitations. Sometimes we even feel powerful or great. At this moment, we easily get to know each other and part ways, solve complex problems and emerge victorious from hopeless situations.

It doesn’t occur to us to trace how this happened. The answer is simple. The grip of restrictions loosened for a moment, and the unbridled power of our spirit pushed the usual boundaries of existence. At that moment we got rid of complexes, neutralized blocks, went against stereotypes.

Our borders - their nature and properties

Boundaries tend to appear objective. I already talked about this in the article “Break the “everyday glass”!” I advise you to study it - there is a lot of food for thought in it. In fact, we turn on the justificatory function of the mind, which successfully copes with the task. Distorts speculative reality in such a way that we do not have to go to our own peril. I will repeat!

Boundaries tend to appear objective.

Moreover, in the process of filtering reality, any dissent is suppressed in a completely physical way. Impulses that the unconscious considers dangerous for survival are contained in a kind of muscular prison. These are clamps - bodily blocks of suppression heartache and fear. Any imprints accompanied by severe stress or emotional protest, create such blocks.

A buffer zone is formed between the ego and the body - a very tangible framework of our limitations. Once the muscle tension is released, the normal circulation of psychic energy will bring the contents of the imprints to the surface. At this moment you can dispel or extinguish the information with polar experience. We will consider both options. Moreover, we will not work directly - head-on (this is faster, but more dangerous), but indirectly. Gently and carefully transforming tension into constructive activity.

Why does our unconscious perform such tricks? Because he doesn't have time. What is sown in early childhood, sprouts lifelong behavior patterns. Not only the child's reaction is transferred, but also the way of avoiding pain and satisfying needs.

Our conscious choices are always a compromise between the conditions dictated by transferable models, various restrictions (taboos, complexes, blocks, thinking patterns and behavior patterns) and desires. Consciousness only justifies the choice.

We are talking about meaningful elections. When you choose a brand of candy or a style of trousers, you are more dependent on advertising. J

Getting rid of complexes - analysis

Exercise No. 1 “My limitations”

This exercise is similar to the Spheres of Influence exercise I suggested in the article “Managing Your Life—Key One.” This time the analysis is carried out exclusively from the angle of internal restrictions.

Take a sheet of A4 paper, a pencil and a pen. Draw a large circle with two nested ones in it. Look at the diagram - this is what you should get:

The white circle with blue borders is your comfort zone. What it is and what it is eaten with is described in the articles “The Wheel of Life – System Tools” and “The Wheel of Balance – Energy, Resources, Condition.”

The gray circle is the border zone. For example, you can lose your temper somewhere, invest money or talk harshly to someone, but this will require a lot of effort from you. Just the thought of this causes feelings of rejection, sadness or anger. By performing such actions, you step over yourself.

The dark gray circle is something you can only do in theory. It seems that nothing prevents you from doing this, but there are thousands of excuses, each more convincing than the other. Sometimes we can’t even admit to ourselves that we will never do this.

First, write down your most vivid thoughts. The first thing that comes to mind. Match them to each circle. The criterion is your desires. For example: “I would like to be with this girl, but...” or “I would like to try this, but...”. This is an example for filling the gray circles. By writing down vivid thoughts, you clear space for further analysis.

When you write down the first thing that comes to mind, think about it. Getting rid of complexes without making mental efforts is the same as pumping up muscles while lying on the couch. Perhaps you will combine some points or highlight them as priorities. Next, it’s worth sorting them out – a table like this will help:

Write down the areas of your life that you are dissatisfied with - relationships, career, finances. In the adjacent column, write down the obstacles for each area. Obstacles are what don’t work out, make you nervous, or frighten you. Take the table seriously. To eliminate complexes, you need to isolate them. Otherwise how will you get rid of what you don’t know?

Exercise No. 2 “What am I afraid of?”

This is a simple exercise and will only take a few minutes. Write out your fears. Heights, water or dogs, fear of speaking, fear of seeming funny, the horror of being in an elevator with by a stranger, fear of mice and spiders.

Take courage and identify your fears. Opposite the fear, put the approximate time of its occurrence. See what happens. I gave an example of some fairly common fears:

List of fears

At the beginning of the list there will be core, usually abstract, fears. You write them down and it will seem that everything – the exercise is completed. Not at all. This is the central layer, and we are interested in its social branches. So go ahead. Are you afraid to put the right price for your work? Are you afraid to talk about money? It's clear. A common mistake. We often call our fears embarrassment, shyness and good manners. I repeat: this is very important.

We often call our fears embarrassment, shyness and good manners.

Exercise No. 3 “Areas of life, obstacles, fears”

Now you need to accurately connect the areas of your life, obstacles and blockages in this area with your fears. You should end up with something like this:

Results of the analysis

What do you have? A clear picture of problem areas and your complexes.

A complex is a tangle of emotionally charged attitudes repressed into the unconscious.

Components of the complexes

For example, in the sphere of relationships, the complex is selective hypertrophied shyness. In other areas you are not shy, and in some places you are even cheeky. Now the secrets of our self-deception will be revealed to you. Clarity and simple bodily practices will allow you to get rid of many complexes once and for all.

It seems to you that you are shy because you are well-bred and have high ideals. This is not true. I rely on your penchant for introspection and intelligence. Otherwise, holding on to self-deception, you will push away what is written and will continue to carry, like a flag, the illusions of a notorious loser. The choice is yours.

Do you face reality or carry the illusions of a loser like a flag.

In fact, girls are prevented from approaching by a tangle of attitudes that are based on fears born of imprints of early or late childhood. Situations that hurt the ego. Now the defense of the ego, and this is a form of pride that gives rise, among other things, to fluctuations in self-esteem, causes fears. Fears that you interpret as shyness and other “high” torments.

The complex always consists of fear, attitudes and behavioral stereotypes. An attitude is a self-fulfilling prophecy or a self-fulfilling program. Fear is an energy node that has an anchor in the body in the form of a muscle clamp. This anchor is called a block. The stereotype arises due to the confirmation of the attitude. The snake bites its own tail.

Look at the diagram:

Complex structure

An imprint is caused by some event in life. He started the process. Next, the attitude became fixed in the body in the form of fear or rejection.

Now watch how this process is imprinted in the body. Everyone knows that when a person experiences strong emotions, he cries, laughs, shouts, jumps and the like. It all depends on the color of emotions. These are superficial visible manifestations. But emotions may be short-lived or their manifestations may be blocked. The secret is that we are able to block only external manifestations - the surface. In depth, due to a sharp release of chemically active substances, changes occur in the speed and quality of metabolism (metabolism), and tension in the internal muscle structure.

These bursts disrupt the normal circulation of electrochemical and electromagnetic energy in the body. Sometimes forever. A good illustration of the extreme stage of the process is rapid graying. Less noticeable, but even more impressive are the formation of ulcers or decay of tooth enamel.

Often changes from normal energy metabolism are fixed. A point of voltage generation arises - a pacemaker or loop. The mind and body block the experience, and this requires energy. When there is little energy, the experience rises to the surface and brings us unpleasant moments.

The justificatory function of the mind substantiated the correctness of this aberration (in this case, experiences that were inadequate to the situation), creating a stereotype. Signals from an external information sample - life situations, having passed the stereotype filter, do not allow one to make an adequate decision. It is blocked by fear. See how it happens:

You have 6 choices. You simply don’t see three of them - you lack knowledge and experience. Two are blocked by fear, and stereotypes say - you can live without them, it can be very bad there. You choose the only opportunity - low, but seemingly stable wages, a girl you don’t like, but she is available, and so on. You are constantly robbing yourself.

Get rid of complexes - necessary condition freedom and happiness. While they are blocking your elections, what kind of full life can we talk about? The currently fashionable techniques for boosting resources allow you to take short time the desired height. What's the point! Will you come to desired condition with a narrowed consciousness, you will burn up energy reserves to block the complex and build up. Then - the inevitable fall and deterioration of the situation.

A striking example is pickup training. Group build-up, strong motivation, resourceful state, and you are the caliph for an hour. Then health deteriorated, a blow to already unstable self-esteem, and dependence on training. The same scheme in network marketing. The tools for working with consciousness are identical.

Getting rid of complexes is a necessary condition for health. Do you think that experiences blocked in the form of muscle tension do not affect the body as a whole? How they influence! Especially for work cardiovascular system, breathing and spine. It is not for nothing that the latter is called the hanger of diseases.

The sad thing is that after reading this article, most likely you will still not do anything. If you pay some guru a couple of thousand greenbacks, you’ll move. They will make you move. And let Darov write further: it’s interesting and flies don’t bite. However, it is your choice, I share unique information - you make decisions.

What do I call fear?

Our words not only reflect, but also shape mental experience. This is a fundamental position on which not only psychology stands, but also a whole body of related disciplines. This is a truth confirmed and constantly confirmed by experience. Before working with the body (making a topography of blocks and eliminating them), let’s deal with the mind. It is the mind that we consider our “I”, right?

The way we react to the world and our internal sensations, is determined by our unique neurolinguistic maps. Vasya’s stomach hurts, but he doesn’t pay attention to it. In his chart, abdominal pain is nothing. The food is of poor quality, it will pass now. Petya’s mother is obsessed with treatment and the pharmacy. She raised her son alone and instilled in him an exaggerated attitude towards pain. Petya immediately takes the pills, since he “knows” the reason! The result is that Vasya is healthy, Petya has been poisoning his stomach and liver over the years.

In the same way, we react differently to any stimulus. To a coward, any company walking around the city at night seems like an inveterate hooligan. To the brave - cheerful guys. Who do you think has a higher chance of running into conflict?

I think you understand why I’m telling you this, so let’s move on to practice.

Exercise No. 5 “Names of my fears”

We don't want to admit that we feel afraid. To friends and loved ones, to yourself. This is an unpleasant emotion and talking about it is also unpleasant. We often replace the admission “I’m afraid” with “I don’t want to” or “I don’t have time”, “this is childish”, “I’m not small to deal with nonsense”, “I don’t like this”.

For example, a girl says to her boyfriend: “I want to have sex with you on a bench in the park.” He replies: “This is immoral” or “This is indecent, there are people there!” She says: “We will make it so that no one will see.” He agrees, but on the condition that he needs to drink vodka. Or he doesn't agree.

In this case we are not talking about spiritual seeker or a refined intellectual. This is a simple guy who wants the same thing as his girlfriend. Morality and so on are not a hindrance to him, especially since the park is in the middle of nowhere and there are completely invisible shops. He is afraid of being noticed, afraid of embarrassment. The fear of breaking social taboos is camouflaged by morality and education.

Take sheets with a table of relationships between areas of life, obstacles and fears. To begin, choose one area and start writing down what you say to others about it. You should end up with something similar to the example.

Sphere of life, obstacles, fears and how I disguise them

You yourself understand that everyone has their own “cockroaches” neurolinguistic maps. Fears have the most wrappings in the area of ​​relationships, because more than half of them are irrational.

It is best to create a new table and distribute fears and their wrappers in the form of binary oppositions. For example, like this: “I’m afraid to seem like a beggar” - “I don’t like to go shopping idly.” Then you can see the linear connections.

Where does fear hide?

Well done! You've done most of the prep work. All that remains is to find out where your fears and internal barriers are hiding and drive them out of there. To do this, you will have to use your will, since the proposed exercises are difficult to do while lying on the couch. More precisely, you can limit yourself to an imaginary situation, but... then the work will drag on for months. Do you need it?

Fears separate us from life. To understand how this happens, look at the picture.

Scheme for creating mirrors - patterns of thinking and emotional reactions

Any information coming from outside into the psyche is filtered by 3 layers of filters. I talked about this in various articles. We are interested in the third one – semantic. Fears recorded in the body are closed loops of communication. They create a mirror at the semantic filter level. The information included in the sample fits into a very strict analysis model. The rest is simply eliminated. If ordinary filtering gives us room for maneuver, allowing us to create new things, then a mirror deprives us of this. Some part of the world becomes a reflection of our psyche.

Simply put, looking at life situations through the eyes of his fears, a person interacts not with the world, but with his models. Unfortunately, thanks to the justificatory function of the mind, we not only do not notice the artificiality of these models, but also unconsciously build our behavior, confirming the unnatural pattern.

A simple example. A person has a lot of free time, connections, intelligence and the ability to learn. But for years he has been doing odd jobs and is already turning gray from constantly wondering where he can get money. Tell him that they are everywhere and with his ability to earn 5 times more is not difficult, he will not believe it. He'll think you're joking. Moreover, if you take him by the hand and poke his nose into the money, he will manage to ruin everything and return to its original state. This is how thinking patterns built by the mirrors of fears work.

I repeat: loops have two ends - in the psyche and in the body. The first known person to start digging in the area of ​​bodily blocks is Reich. He identified several zones of muscle armor. Look at the picture:

Muscle armor is a zone for holding emotions. These are rough general estimates. Over decades of research in the field of body-oriented psychotherapy, bioenergetics and NLP, many promising practical areas have emerged. Since we are interested in the core of the complexes - fears, we will look for their localization. These are the neck, chest, diaphragm, intestinal muscles, sphincter and arms. The method of erasing it depends on which zones are involved and how exactly the block appears.

Exercise No. 6 “Border of Barriers”

You must try to do what you are afraid of, finding dozens of plausible explanations for your behavior. For example, approach a girl on the street and get acquainted. Or go to your boss to ask for a raise wages. Or go for a walk in the evening in an area that seems disadvantaged to you. Go at your own risk and discomfort.

What sensations are you experiencing at this moment? Are you short of breath? Empty stomach? Are your hands shaking or just one hand? Is your throat dry? Does it put pressure on your ears? It is important that you clearly grasp and write down your feelings.

If you decide to completely cleanse yourself of complexes, make a table and experiment. The table will look like this:

All these sensations begin with one, which always comes the same way and from the same point. Try until you find this point - the border of the block.

To make it easier, break the exercise into 2 parts. First, try and write down, then remember your attempt and, getting used to the memory, look for the boundary of the block.

Here we come to the answer to the question of how to get rid of complexes. And once and for all. The practice of erasing the complex must begin with a diary of observations in your hands, plump from writing. Remember the beginning of the article?

People with a strong rational mind can achieve a lot with these exercises alone. But it’s better to work conscientiously. Continuation of the article - "How to get rid of complexes? Cleaning."

First of all, try to understand the reasons for your complexes. They are often associated with certain past traumas. If the stress was strong enough, you are probably trying to dislodge this memory from your memory. Meanwhile, it is enough to return to the situation again to reassess it. Try to re-understand the problem, “experience” it again, and then let go. It is quite possible that the oppressive memory will no longer have such a strong impact on your real life.

If the analysis brings certain results, you have every chance from the existing complexes. First of all, engage in self-improvement. However, in this case, you should not make a common mistake: in your desire to become better, you should not fanatically follow your goal, try to demonstrate your positive changes to others and worry about the slightest mistake. Get additional education, attend exhibitions, do fitness, study foreign languages: Do similar things for yourself, enjoying the process itself. After a certain time, you will definitely notice that some of the complexes and insecurities have gone away on their own, and those around you have begun to look at you a little differently.

Make it a habit to treat yourself with love, starting with the little things. Take it for granted that you deserve the best. Don’t allow yourself to be manipulated, don’t be afraid to get rid of people around you who disrespect you, don’t take on a job with a knowingly low pay. Pamper yourself at least sometimes with quality things, gourmet food, and pleasant gifts. Soon such moments will become a familiar part of your life.

Do not pay attention to the mockery, ridicule, and ambiguous statements of other people. This has nothing to do with you, since this is the problem of precisely those people who allow themselves to do such things. Insecure, dissatisfied individuals thus assert themselves at your expense. Satisfied with life, a self-sufficient and harmonious person will never elevate himself above anyone or ridicule others.

Contrary to the popular advice to “love yourself for who you are,” try maximum quantity disadvantages that prevent you from living. First of all, if it concerns appearance. Get in shape, make an appointment with a good cosmetologist, get a new haircut. Changing your wardrobe or going to a makeup artist can be no less inspiring. After updating the image, order professional photo shoot at good photographer: the result may surprise you so much that not a trace will remain of many complexes.

Smile and save positive attitude towards others: this will help you attract even more positive emotions.

Complexes are different. But if you have them, then it’s bad anyway. How to understand yourself and stop having complexes with or without reason?

If your complexes are associated with real shortcomings, even if greatly exaggerated, you can be understood. And in this case, you can cope with them: properly selected clothes, diets, cosmetic procedures... In general, a little attention to yourself and the reason for complexes will disappear by itself.

But what to do if you objectively have no reason to be dissatisfied with your legs/weight/nose, but you still have a complex? If you came up with your shortcomings yourself, then you need to look for the problem in your head.

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For the last ten years, you have never forgotten the offensive school nickname: “bow-legged,” which your classmates dubbed you back in the seventh grade. But for some reason you can’t remember that your figure has changed since then, and men regularly admire your legs. Standing in front of the mirror, you ask yourself: “Are they really that crooked?”, but you don’t dare answer yourself “no”.

It has long been known that childhood experiences leave an imprint on our entire lives. It was when you were building an image of the world, people and yourself brick by brick in your head that something went wrong: criticism from parents, insults from peers, reprimand from teachers. The result is self-flagellation and a search for non-existent shortcomings. And although you have already grown up, you can’t forget the grievances. Therefore, pay attention to what others say about you: you have probably been complimented more than once.

It’s dangerous if your self-criticism reaches the point where you feel like your friends are lying just to somehow support you. And even if they sometimes tell the truth, it doesn’t matter: there are clearly more shortcomings in you than reasons for pride. Maybe it's time to start listening to kind and loving people, and not to those who are jealous?

But the source of your complexes may be hidden not only in childhood experiences. You remember very well how your parents called you a princess, and the girls in the class were jealous of your long brown braid. You've never worried about your appearance. Until I fell in love. Only now the love turned out to be unrequited. He didn’t appreciate you and said in response to your confession: “Sorry, but you’re not my type. Let's remain friends? You tried in vain to find a problem in yourself, comparing your reflection in the mirror with a photograph of his girlfriend. “Why her? Why am I worse?” you asked sadly and came to the conclusion that it was all in the ears. Since then, you have not braided your hair, revealing your main flaw.

You know, 98 percent, it’s not in the ears. And also not in the legs, not in the color of the eyes and not in the shape of the nails. Love is chemistry, and we don’t love for our appearance. Remember, you, too, probably rejected the advances of young men, whom your friends, by the way, considered real handsome men. It is impossible to explain why we want to be with some people and not at all want to be with others. So, forget about your complex: believe me, you have wonderful ears!

It also happens that worries due to non-existent shortcomings develop into illness. Just a couple of years ago, it was unpleasant for you to approach the mirror, and your weight, unfortunately, justified it. Then you managed to pull yourself together and lost three sizes. Friends, colleagues and relatives praise your willpower and ask about the secrets of success. You just answer: “I still have to lose weight and lose weight.” In the mirror you still see a plump young lady, although the scale shows critically low weight, and your friends complain that you are about to disappear and ask you to eat something. This particular case is an example of anorexia, but there are many similar diseases that arise against the background of imaginary deficiencies. People undergo dozens of plastic surgeries, spend their days in gym or don’t leave the house at all. All these are symptoms of body dysmorphophobia, a mental disorder in which a person is overly concerned about his appearance.

If you experience complexes, try to understand their reasons. Then it will be much easier for you to correct the situation. If you suddenly reach a dead end and can’t get rid of an obsessive complex, go to a psychologist. Don't let me imaginary problems ruin your life. Learn to love yourself - this is the key to harmony and well-being.

Text: Katya Gorlova