An 11-year-old girl has trouble listening to what to do. Parents and their teenage children

We can say that at the age of 11 it begins transition a period when a child’s world begins to change as quickly as his body changes.

Physiological features

That's how it's built nature that girls at the age of 11 develop faster than boys. They stretch out, their waists and breasts appear, and some menstruate.

Height children, on average, is 140-150 cm, weight 36-40 kg.

Psychological and mental development of a child at 11 years old

Many children are psychologically not ready to such drastic changes in their body that they may experience stress. Legs and arms are stretched, so (especially girls) consider themselves ugly, lanky freaks. It is very important for parents tactfully and calmly talk with children on the topic of changes in the body.

At 11 years old, a child may start differently perceive some things, extol yours flaws, be stubborn, defend your point of view, consider only yourself to be right. It is important for parents not to let upbringing on its own, do not indulge all the desires of your child, but learn how to properly build communication, understand that the child is growing up and overprotection he doesn't need it.

The thinking of a grown-up child gradually becomes logical, he can think outside the box, with creativity approach to solving a number of problems.

Interests become more stable.
Organizational skills develop.
Learning foreign language(s) becomes conscious.
The child likes to express himself through creativity and sports: drawing, dancing, singing, gymnastics and more. And also receive positive assessments for your work.
Increased attentiveness and concentration.

It is important for parents

Diplomatically talk with your older child about changes in the body, about relationships with the opposite sex.
Understand that the child is growing up, his psyche is still not stable, mood swings are possible, but this is still a child who needs in advice, and not decrees, his opinion must be taken into account, otherwise it is possible lose confidence.
Don't lose control for educational activities, behavior child at school and on the street.
Monitor progress regime day, food and sleep.
Make good use of it leisure: visit exhibitions, theaters, museums, estates, etc.
In no case don't joke over the child's appearance. The transitional age will pass, but the problems will remain.
Stimulate To sporty activities: cycling, snowboarding, roller and figure skating, as well as group games: football, basketball, tag, dodgeball and others. This will distract you from computer games and Internet and will help to throw out the accumulated energy.
Attract the child to board games(checkers, chess). These games develop logical thinking, perseverance, attentiveness, the ability to predict the result of one’s activities, and memory. And games such as table hockey and billiards develop accuracy, hand motor skills, and dexterity.

The child is entering a difficult period both physically and emotionally. Body changes occur, adult features are formed, metabolism is rebuilt, which leads to emotional instability and vulnerability. Parents need to show a lot of patience and understanding to their children during this period.

Entering the early phase of puberty is easy for the child himself. Changes in the body, some clumsiness and angularity lead to the child experiencing complexes. Hence the tightness, embarrassment, changes in behavior, and even outbursts of anger and aggression. At this age, children move away from their parents and become more and more independent. However, even without admitting it, at 11 years old children still need support, approval and advice from their parents.

At this age, thinking, intellectual abilities, logic and abstract thinking actively develop. Children are quite capable of planning their affairs and calculating their actions, and understand the consequences arising from them. Nowadays, social interaction is important for children; what comes first is not academic success, but the opinion of the child and his abilities from the team and others. Gradually, interest in the opposite sex also appears, although contacts are still more active with children of the same sex.

Features of raising children at 11 years old

Now the child cares about public approval and his hard work is at its peak.

At this age, it is important to instill a love of work and helping others, to develop talents, culinary abilities, and a passion for needlework. In raising a girl, first of all, you need to pay attention to everyday issues - the need for all possible assistance to adults, maintaining order and caring for younger children and animals. Equally important is the upbringing of high moral qualities in a girl. At this age, the time comes to talk about sex education, intimacy and the consequences of rash steps. It is important to become a girl’s friend so that she can trust you with the most delicate and serious secrets.

Boys are somewhat behind girls in development at puberty. Therefore, at this age they can still be passionate about cars and games, while girls are already thinking about love. However, it is important to know how to properly raise a boy of 11 years old in order to instill in him high moral qualities - responsibility, care for loved ones and the weaker, loyalty and honesty. Parents need to know that the basis of education is their own positive example of relationships in the family, between friends and colleagues. Children copy our behavior and attitude towards the world.

Psychology of 11-year-old children

Features of the psychology of children at this age are changes in appearance that coincide with character measurements. Sometimes children themselves cannot understand what is happening to them; aggression and cruelty can arise from self-doubt and internal experiences. In many ways, the psychology of an 11-year-old boy differs from that of a girl, since the timing of their development is not synchronous. During this period, girls experience nervousness, tearfulness and resentment associated with changes in appearance. While boys at this age add fuel to the fire by teasing girls and paying attention to their appearance, sticking offensive nicknames.

At this age, the desire for independence and making adult decisions begins, but you need to understand how independent an 11-year-old boy or a girl his age should be. Children of this age can easily be left alone at home, looking after the younger ones and doing simple housework. In addition to doing their homework independently, communicating on social networks, going for walks, and so on, children must take care of themselves completely - wash and iron their things, prepare simple food for themselves, maintain full body and hair hygiene, and provide first aid for minor injuries or cuts.

Symptoms of crisis in eleven-year-old children

In the period after about 10 years, a special age crisis is formed. It arises due to internal and external changes that form a special tension in the nervous system, which results in changes in behavior and relationships with family and friends. Often, the transitional age for boys at the age of 11 is manifested by problems in learning, disobedience, scandals and quarrels with parents. Girls are not far behind at this age; their behavior also leaves much to be desired; they try to prove their maturity through whims and hysterics. As a result, this leads to tension in relations with parents. You need to go through such a period by treating the child as tactfully and delicately as possible, becoming his friend and winning his trust. Then it will be easier for you to understand what is happening.

Child aged 11 to 12: Declaration of Independence

In the period from 11 to 12 years, the child changes dramatically: this is expressed both externally and psychologically. The task of parents is to find a middle ground in education, because the child considers himself an adult and independent. But in fact, he is still vulnerable and dependent on his elders.

Physiological development of a child at 11 years old

The main sign of adolescence is changes in appearance, which are almost impossible not to notice. Body modification indicates that the teenager is developing correctly, keeping up with his peers. Puberty for girls is a sharp growth spurt, distribution of fat, enlargement of the mammary glands and vegetation in the genital area. For boys, this year will also bring changes in appearance: slight fat deposits will appear in the abdominal area, testicles will increase in size, the voice will break, teenage acne will appear on the face, hair in the groin area will become thicker. During this period, boys learn first-hand what nocturnal emissions are for the first time.

Taking into account the fact that girls develop faster than boys, the first signs of adolescence appear immediately after they turn 11 years old (and even earlier), and for boys this is typical closer to 12 years or later.

During this period, the teenager is concerned about whether his development is happening correctly and whether there are any deviations from the norm. Their lack of awareness leads to unpredictable behavior. For example, girls begin to lose weight intensively, leading themselves to anorexia. Boys begin to engage in strength sports, use steroids and sports nutrition.

Psychological development of a child at 11 years old

At eleven years old, children are more focused on social development, communication with peers, school and a sports career. Most of them are satisfied with communicating with peers of the same sex, but some strive to attract the attention of the opposite sex.

Parents are now relegated to the background: it is easier for teenagers to keep their secrets to themselves or share with their peers.

The concept of true friendship is still unknown for children of this age: secret friends can quarrel over a trifle or accident. Although then depression, a state of excitement, and anxiety will follow.

At the age of 11, children learn to respect the rights, work and needs of those around them. It is during this period that he needs to be introduced to family values.

No matter how dear a teenager’s friends are, their parents still remain the stronghold of morality and ethics for them. Therefore, it is important to show them the right example of communication and keep your promises.

Due to constant mood swings, children of this age are prone to mental breakdowns and hysterics. They can only be avoided by being attentive and tolerant to the child.

Portrait of a wise parent:

knows about the characteristics of adolescence;
organizes friendly and family events;
supports the child in all his endeavors, expresses interest in his feelings and experiences;
encourages teenager's independence;
establishes rules of conduct in the family for both the child and other family members, and also establishes penalties for non-compliance;
assigns feasible tasks to the child and rewards him for work and obedience;
allocates a fixed amount for pocket expenses.

Portrait of a normally developing child

enjoys communicating with peers;
participates in social and recreational activities;
differs in academic performance;
achieves certain sporting achievements or is distinguished by dramatic, visual, musical talent;
self-confident, optimistic;
does housework without being reminded by elders;
accommodating and friendly.

Thanks to everyone who responded to my thread and advised me (the idea was this: I wanted to braid my sides on vacation, creating the effect of shaved temples)..
I bought one strand (they are quite thick) on the Internet and....I couldn’t. And it’s not about weaving. And to the touch it infuriated me, the feeling of dead hair. In short, I couldn't wear it. I wove it for my daughter) my daughter is delighted))
So indeed, for young people, such things as artificial hair “come in” more easily)
Now I weave a different version for her every day. (We still have school) classmates are delighted)))

Here I have a daughter. In second grade. Not assiduous. Last year I wanted to play the piano. They explained that it was difficult and that you would have to study a lot. She said, of course, that she would. Well, okay, I passed the entrance exams to a music school. Has been going since September. Solfeggio works out well, the specialty doesn't work well - because he's too lazy to study. He doesn’t play every day, and if he plays, it’s not much. He says I don’t want to, it doesn’t work. Everything is stupid: the notes, the instrument, the teacher. If I don’t start insisting, he won’t sit down at the instrument at all. Now I understand that this is not the case. If this is the attitude, then we need to give up the music and that’s it. But, damn it, I feel so bad for the instrument I bought, for the time I spent all year taking her there three times a week. And in general, how can it be that it doesn’t work out, just throw your paws up and that’s it, don’t even try to achieve a result. I understand that you need to come to terms with everything, but it’s very difficult for me. And the most offensive thing is that this applies not only to music, but to everything - he doesn’t want to make any effort at all.

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Given: me, husband, 7-year-old son and 2-year-old youngest daughter.
My son periodically suffers from jealousy, I try to fight it.
But: when my son was sent to kindergarten (2 years old), I, being a stupid hen of 25 years old, inspired him that he should not fight.
There was a reason - he started fighting with his friend, our neighbor. Mom, being a good friend of mine, threatened me with complaints from the manager, etc.

I was scared. There was no serious fight, but it was the complaints that scared me.

Today's story: we are visiting friends, they also have an eldest boy of 9 years old, and suddenly we hear our son crying sobbingly, and a demand for the eldest to apologize!
By the way, my son goes to fight, I realized my mistake, I convince him to fight back.
But along the way, the son grew up to be a tear washer.
My husband has already pecked. How to fix the situation...

194

Good day everyone) My son is 11 years old (5th grade). Starting somewhere in the 4th grade, the kids began to form cliques, who was friends with whom. My son says that he is friends with everyone, that everyone is his friend. But there was only one best friend, they visited each other, walked, sat together in class. But recently I began to notice that mine began to go straight home after school, but before I was always eager to go for a walk and was late for training because of hanging out with a friend. Today I asked why this was so - it turned out that my friend was now walking with a girl, and they asked me not to interfere, they say they have personal communication. I see that my son is offended and annoyed. I don't know what to advise him. The problem is that I myself don’t know how to make friends. I had a best friend at school, but she left me ugly, I was very worried. I don’t want to blame my crappy experience in this area on my son. I want him to have good friends. Please advise, especially those who have not had problems with communication and friendship. I don’t want to give my child advice from my loser perspective (not only my school friends, almost all my friends cheated me at different periods of my life).

Honestly. Sometimes I feel like I'm a chronic loser. You try, you flounder, but it turns out as always. The middle son is going to school this year. I was the first to write the application, and the first to pass the copybook. I attended a meeting, went to a first-grader school, chose a teacher, and visited the secretariat a hundred times. And today the call comes - you didn’t bring the documents, the classes are formed and your child doesn’t get in. HOW? How can this be? And most importantly, I can’t yell that I brought the documents. Having three children, I constantly carry photocopies somewhere. I just don’t remember if I took the necessary photocopies to school. But I know for sure that if they had told me about them, I would have stopped them right away. I'll go find out tomorrow. What if we don’t get there? What if you can’t do anything anymore? Senior in second grade at this school. This is for me to run around in different ways, and even before the pile of the third one goes into the garden. I'll howl now. Why am I so lucky?

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Your son is gradually growing up: externally and internally. You can barely keep up with what's happening to him. A lot is changing: from clothes and habits to worldview and attitude towards girls.

The difficult teenage stage is inherent in nature; it cannot be avoided. For some it happens earlier, for others later, but on average, boys begin to transform from a child into a man at the age of 11-12 years.

Believe me, it's not easy for your son right now. Physical illness is superimposed by unstable mental processes and new views on the world around us. If you understand what is happening in your son’s body and can explain it to him, then this stage will be a little easier.

Let's start with physiological changes.

What happens in the body of adolescents at 11-12 years old?

The cardiovascular system. A teenager’s heart enlarges significantly, this is due to the growth of the heart muscle ─ myocardium. The heart volume of a 10-year-old boy is 130 cubic cm, and that of a 13-year-old boy is already 443 cubic cm. At the same time, blood vessels grow more slowly and the heart needs to make more efforts so that the body does not suffer from a lack of oxygen. The load on the heart increases and pain may appear in it.

Respiratory system. Lung volume also increases. But it is not yet possible to use all the oxygen received, so the brain lacks proper nutrition, which leads to headaches. The larynx begins to grow and the voice changes.

Musculoskeletal system. The tubular bones of the arms and legs and vertebrae grow rapidly. At the same time, the spine remains very mobile, and there is a high probability of its curvature. Large muscles grow faster than small ones, so it is difficult for a boy to work with small objects and he gets tired quickly. Teenagers aged 11-12 years old look disproportionate: long arms and legs, large feet.

Leather. The changes that occur in the boy’s body lead to the fact that the sebaceous glands begin to work more actively and irritations, rashes and pustules appear on the skin.

Nervous system. The brain begins to actively develop, especially the anterior sections of both hemispheres. The teenager begins to respond sharply to all comments directed at him. Excitement prevails over inhibition, so teenagers are unbalanced and their mood often changes.

The work of the autonomic nervous system, which connects the spinal cord and brain with the internal organs, is also not fully balanced. The blood vessels are poorly filled with blood, the pulse and breathing become faster, the brain lacks oxygen, dizziness and weakness appear. Vegetative-vascular dystonia is a common companion for adolescents.

Endocrine system. In boys aged 11-12 years, the thyroid gland begins to actively grow, which is responsible for the energy balance in the body. The gonads also develop, and the amount of testosterone in the blood of boys increases.

About the effect of testosterone on the body of a man in general and a teenager in particular, watch the video excerpt from the webinar “10 important secrets that mothers should know about boys.”

Behavior of boys in adolescence

Internal changes greatly affect the behavior of boys.

become very emotional, even those who were previously calm. All this is accompanied by mood swings: one minute, intense joy can be replaced by intense sadness;
seek “thrills” and take great risks;
they begin to pay attention to girls and want to please them;
begin to consciously approach the choice of clothing and care for their skin;
react painfully to comments and violently express disagreement;
they don’t finish what they started, and sometimes they don’t even start what they were talking about;
get tired quickly;
become irritable;
They can do something energetically, and after a couple of minutes they fall onto the bed, exhausted.

Relationships with girls at this age are difficult to build, one of the reasons is that at the age of 11-12 years, girls are larger and stronger than boys. This affects the self-esteem of the children.

Our free book “” will help you understand and cope with your son’s emotions.

In general, if you look from the outside at what a teenager wants to be and what he really is, then these are almost two parallel worlds. Inside, the boy is strong, handsome, girls like him and everything works out for him. And on the outside he is still clumsy, disproportionate and with a changing voice.

Which boys show more pronounced changes in behavior at the age of 11-12 years?

The visibility of changes in the boy’s behavior and health for him and those around him will also depend on the kind of life he led in childhood and leads in adolescence.

Guys who move a lot, play sports and generally lead an active lifestyle are more able to cope with the difficulties of adolescence. Physically, they develop more harmoniously and they have somewhere to throw out excess energy, and sometimes aggression.

Such active boys make parents and other adults “nervous” even before puberty, so their behavior change at the age of 11-12 is not so noticeable.

It is much more difficult for boys who constantly sit at home, move little and, possibly, suffer from excess weight. In them, changes in health and behavior are more pronounced.

Adults who are accustomed to a calm child also find it difficult to adjust.

For parents who want to understand their children, and especially for mothers who want their sons to maximize their potential for courage, we have created a special training.

Remember: “Forewarned is forearmed”? The useful knowledge and practice that you receive during the training will be a support, a foundation for helping your son pass this difficult age with dignity, calm and confidence.

This course only about boys, features of their physiology and worldview. During the training you will learn:

how to understand and predict your teenager’s behavior in certain cases;
about when to let go of the situation, and when, on the contrary, to take control;
How can a mother-father-son team not turn into a “swan, crayfish and pike”;
how your fears can poison your son's life.

The training will begin on March 29 and will last 1.5 months. Details about the training program and conditions of participation.

Adolescence is also called transitional age - transition to adulthood and responsibility. This stage is difficult for both the boy and the parents. To help your son, you need to listen to him, understand him, and accept the changes that are happening to him. You can't make fun of his appearance and relationships with girls.

Question for mothers of girls: is there a need for an article about physiological and behavioral changes in girls during adolescence?