Ways to develop confident behavior. Formation of an image using the Stanislavsky method

I will not write in detail about the fact that childhood and adolescence are a period that largely determines the future Life Path person. You, parents, must realize that it is at this time that the child’s general idea about myself, life goals and values. A person’s future successes in life directly depend on how well this process proceeds. This article will expand your understanding of what confident behavior includes.

Confident behavior means being able to set and achieve goals, be aware of your actions, control yourself, defend your interests without aggression or shyness, and get out of any conflict situation with dignity. Naturally, these qualities develop throughout life, but in the most to a greater extent their formation is influenced by the experiences accumulated in adolescence. That is why it makes sense to place the main emphasis on formation of confident behavior in adolescents.

Confident behavior is a collective concept that includes various components.

Confident behavior:

• Purposeful. A confident person specifically represents his goals and organizes his own actions in such a way that they allow him to get closer to his goals. In this case, the goal should be: specific and positive, ambitious and achievable at the same time.
• Focused on overcoming emerging obstacles rather than worrying about them about. The most insurmountable obstacles are those that a person puts in front of himself. There is even a concept in sports called “Psychological barrier”. Therefore, I can say with confidence that confident behavior is a constant expansion of the mental framework, an explosion of the internal barrier. A confident person is capable of rational analysis of emerging difficulties and is capable of making decisions.
• Flexible, implying an adequate response to a rapidly changing environment. Such a person instantly navigates situations of novelty and uncertainty, and is able to quickly revise his behavior if it does not lead to the desired result. A confident person is flexible, fluid and unpredictable, and has self-control. Such a person is able to change his communication style depending on which interlocutors he is in contact with and in what context this happens.
• Socially oriented. Aimed at building constructive relationships With others: movement “towards the people”, not “from the people” or “against the people”. Such a person strives to establish harmonious relationships with others, based on trust, mutual understanding and cooperation. The main thing is to realize this! What will happen at the training. And then this strategy of behavior will be maintained even when a person encounters difficulties and difficulties. In this case, the person will turn to others for support if necessary. Understanding this, he himself will support his friends, colleagues, etc. in difficult times. Other strategies involve either withdrawing into oneself, withdrawing into one’s own inner world, loneliness, that is, movement “away from people”. Or, which is also extremely common, opposing oneself to others, enmity with them, aggression, that is, a movement “against people.” This is very important. It is important that the teenager understands his behavior when difficulties arise. This is what we learn in the “Confident Behavior” training.
• Combining spontaneity with the possibility of random regulation. When a situation requires immediate actions, a person takes them, while quite consciously he can control his spontaneous reactions. This applies to both behavior and emotional response.
• Persistent, but not turning into aggressive. A person makes efforts to achieve his goals, but does so, if possible, without harming the interests of other people. And he is even ready to defend his interests very firmly and go into conflict for their sake. But in such conflicts a person concentrates specifically on defending his interests, and never, in order to insult, humiliate, offend the interlocutor as a person. Moreover, a confident person does not conflict without objective reasons. For him, it is preferable not to follow the principle, but to resolve the conflict flexibly and even in some cases give in, sacrifice his interests for the sake of maintaining harmonious relationships.
• Focused on achieving success rather than avoiding failure. A person is focused on getting something positive and is guided by this goal, but not by avoiding possible troubles. By modeling the result, reflecting on the goal, such a person creates an image of their successful achievement, and not how he fails. For example, when starting to prepare for an exam, a confident person imagines it successful completion and acts and believes it. Not confident person imagines how he “fails” the exam and aims to avoid this situation. Which greatly aggravates the matter.
• Creative: A person who displays confident behavior does not waste energy fighting anyone or anything, but instead creates what he sees fit. For example, replace bad habit to good. Movement towards creation, creativity, success.

All this together is confident behavior.

Of course, a child’s confident behavior largely depends on the characteristics of family upbringing and relationships with parents. But it manifests itself, first of all, in communication not with parents, but with peers. These are the characteristics of adolescence.

Assertive behavior training provides ample opportunities to develop assertive behavior skills through specifically organized work in teenage groups whose participants interact intensively with each other. In order for children to learn such behavior, stories about it are not enough, but it is necessary to model conditions in which participants will have the opportunity to come into direct contact with it, experience it and become aware of it. Training creates optimal and safe conditions for this.

Training- a special type of learning through direct “living” and awareness of the experience arising in interpersonal interaction. This form of education is especially important for children and adolescents, since their need for communication is acute, and life experience is not enough, but their desire to acquire it is clearly expressed.

The training allows you to gain experience in the most concentrated form, and in psychologically safe conditions that facilitate its awareness. After all, the main thing is awareness and meaningfulness of your images, feelings, actions, thoughts. This is what we pay special attention to.

Arrogance is the second happiness. Do you agree with this statement? Many people use this saying as a slogan and go ahead in any situation. In fact, rudeness and the desire to take the first position are insolently dictated by a blatant lack of self-confidence. People try not to get involved with such characters, and employers promise to call them back. No one is interested in the fact that they may have an inferiority complex or that they were morally suppressed in childhood.

The people who surround you are attracted by their strengths, and, if you want to achieve anything in this life, you need to work on increasing your level of self-esteem and self-esteem.

Behavior of a confident person

Are you familiar with the word “charisma”? everyone uses it, but not everyone understands its true meaning. Charisma is the same energy that you emit. This - behavior of a confident person, which is so attractive that it instantly makes you stand out from the crowd.

Self-confidence is expressed in a person’s ability to defend his opinion, set goals and achieve them, bring his ideas and desires to life, without fear of failures and obstacles.

A confident person does not react to negative impact society, because he knows exactly what is good for him, what is right and wrong. It is easier for him to establish contact with the right person and say no when necessary.

Confident behavior training

Not everyone is born with such a gift, but it can be developed. It will help you with this Confident behavior training, exercises to practice the necessary skills. Trainings are conducted in groups, which is a very important factor for those who are afraid of the public and those who are shy about strangers.

It is likely that you do not have time to attend training. Well, you can develop the necessary skills yourself, if you have the desire. Try one simple exercise below. It consists of several stages:

1. Grab a pen and paper, sit back and remember situations in which you felt irritated or aggressive. Write down what exactly makes you behave aggressively: maybe it’s the intonation of the interlocutor or a key stuck in the keyhole.
2. Stand in front of the mirror and replay your reaction to the incident. What do you look like? Would you look with sympathy at a person who behaves this way? Would you give him a job, or maybe set him up on a date? Of course not.
3. Realize that any aggression, resentment or fear of rejection is dictated by a lack of self-confidence. It doesn't matter what you think about it. Accept this as a fact.
4. Building Confident Behavior impossible without being honest with yourself. That's why admit what makes you feel uncomfortable? Overweight? Crooked teeth? Clothes you don't like? Face your demons and write down your answers.
5. Think of ways to eliminate the factors that prevent you from acting calmly and with dignity.. Just please, no excuses. A person always finds time and opportunities for what he really wants. If you can't, it means you don't want to.

Of course, you will need willpower to make what you want into reality. The development of confident behavior cannot be achieved carelessly and by cracking seeds. Pull yourself together and confidently walk towards your goal. You will succeed!

Psychology lesson in 7th grade
Topic: “Confident and uncertain behavior”
Target:
 formation of beliefs in the advantages of confident behavior over uncertain behavior.
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introduce the signs of confident and insecure behavior;
gaining experience of confident behavior in simulated communication situations.
Tasks:
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create a trusting atmosphere among teenagers;
develop the ability to analyze actions and desires,
differentiate manifestations of confidence, uncertainty, aggressiveness in behavior
people; develop creative thinking students.
Progress of the lesson
Developing self-confidence starts with
eliminating the demon called fear;
this demon sits on a man's shoulder and
whispers to him: “You won’t be able to do this...”
N. Hill. Law of Success
1. Organizational moment.
 Survey of well-being, readiness, confidence (on fingers)
This is exactly what I propose to talk about today.
Notebook entry: Lesson topic: “Confident and uncertain behavior.”
In addition, by observing the behavior of your interlocutors, you can identify several of the most
common forms of behavior: confident/unconfident (passively dependent or aggressive).
People often experience self-doubt. And this feeling is not very pleasant. Often
people resort to extreme measures: smoking, alcohol, drugs, dyeing their hair unnatural
tones, pierce different parts of the body in order to hide behind them; to feel
more confident.
 What behavior do you think can be called confident?
To answer the question, let's do the following exercises:
2. Warm up
Let's feel a state of self-confidence:
Let's sit confidently on the chair...
Let's look at each other confidently...
Let's confidently shake hands with our neighbor...
Discussion:
 What is a confident look, a confident handshake?
 How do we sit confidently (shoulders back, relaxed)?
Then the facilitator offers to feel the insecure behavior:
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let's sit unsteadily on a chair...
Let's look at each other uncertainly...
let's shake the neighbor's hand hesitantly...
Discussion:
 Let’s share our impressions: how did you feel?

 What is an uncertain look, an uncertain handshake?
 How do we sit unsteadily (shoulders slumped, tense)?
3. Exercise “From different positions”
All participants are divided into pairs and talk to each other in three different situations:
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one of the participants stands on a chair and looks down at the other;
one kneels, bows his head, takes the pose of a supplicant;
two people sit and talk, being in equal positions.
During the discussion, the concept of communication “as equals”, communication “from above”, communication “from below” is introduced.
Discussion:
 What feelings does a person experience when he demonstrates aggressive, insecure and
confident behavior?
 Do aggressive and insecure people feel differently? Prove it.
4. Exercise.
Let's now think together about what signs we can use to distinguish a self-confident person.
a person from an insecure person. I suggest “getting acquainted” with confident and insecure behavior
closer. Each trio receives its own task:
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Group 1: using color (pay attention to the size of the picture, energy, colors);
Group 2: with the help of music (octave, tone, timbre, sound volume);
Group 3: with the help of sculpture (facial expressions, gestures, location in space);
Group 4: using gait;
Group 5: using metaphor (what confidence and uncertainty look like).
5. Working with a table.
 Give everyone 23 cards with information, from which you need to make a table:
Indicators
Confident behavior
Uncertain behavior
Passive dependent
Aggressive
Lack of eye contact; are watching
under your feet, on the ceiling, on your own
paper, but not in the eyes of the interlocutor.
A gaze straight into
the eyes of the interlocutor
Strives to increase: from
partner “retreat”, begin
speak from a great distance.
Tense. Trembling and chaotic
movements. They frantically sort through
papers, they don’t know what to do with their hands.
They speak quietly, haltingly, and strive
reduce pauses in conversation. Phrases
unreasonably prolonged.
Excuses, apologies, unnecessary
long and confusing explanation.
Minimum, per partner
they're always "coming"
intrude on him
territory.
Stormy. Waving
hands, make noisy
and chaotic movements,
knocking doors and beating
foreign objects.
Anger, rage.
Screams, screams, threats
intonation. Interlocutor
They don’t listen at all, they don’t give
negotiate. They say
short, chopped
phrases.
Reproaches, threats, orders,
insults. Justifications
are not given.
Cannot defend his position;
The first “no” leads to his refusal
After refusal he doesn’t leave, but
trying hard to achieve
Eye contact
Communication distance
Sustained eye contact: in
the partner's eyes look into
moment of presentation
demands, look away,
when listening to objections.
Optimal. Compliant
accepted in this environment
distance standards
official communication.
Gesticulation
Corresponds to the meaning above
what was said.
Tone, volume
vote
Contents of speech
Social
contacts
They speak loud enough
to be heard
interlocutor. Confident
intonation. Interlocutor
listen carefully.
Brief and clear
informing about their
rights, desires,
intentions, actions.
Knows how to ask;
Knows how to refuse;
Feelings
Calmness, confidence.
Fear, anxiety, guilt.

Able to accept refusal;
Prone to compromise
offers them himself.
from further attempts to achieve
yours;
Doesn't know how to ask;
Can't refuse;
It is difficult for him to convince his interlocutor,
making arguments;
yours;
Likes to praise himself;
Can also ask
refuse;
Puts pressure on
interlocutor
The list of signs of a self-confident person is also an instruction on how to
developing self-confidence skills.
Therefore, each sign should be carefully discussed with the children in order to make sure
how much they accept it and how well they remember it. This discussion can be
spend significant time.
6. Work in a notebook.
After the group discussion, the results are summarized and it is concluded that:
Human behavior is of two types: confident and uncertain (as two “poles”
insecure behavior - aggressiveness and shyness). Sometimes confident behavior
is seen as intermediate between shy and aggressive, aggression is interpreted as
a consequence of excess confidence. Meanwhile, the results of psychological research
aggressiveness convincingly show that in most cases it is not accompanied by excessive
high, but just insufficient self-confidence. It would be more correct to say that she, like
Shyness is one of the manifestations of the pole of insecure behavior.
Thus: “Self-confidence refers to a person’s ability to put forward and
realize your own goals, needs, desires, aspirations, interests, feelings in
in relation to your environment"
Confident people are characterized by:
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independence;
self-sufficiency.
External signs of a confident person:
looks calm;
behaves with dignity;
open look;
straight posture;
calm and confident voice.
A confident person can:
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feel the situation, behave with dignity (gestures, voice), understand boundaries
physical and mental;
adequately assess one's strengths and weaknesses, take critical remarks into account
address;
act clearly and organizedly, be persistent;
openly express and defend your opinion, without hostility or self-defense.
7. Self-esteem
Rate these parameters out of 10 points.
Discussion: Problems and resources.
Thus:
An insecure person can be shy:
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very quiet, unnoticeable,
walk slouched and head down,
avoid direct gaze,
give in to any pressure on him.
avoids direct discussion of the problem,

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tends to talk about his desires and needs in an indirect form,
passive, not ready to accept a partner's offer.
But it can also manifest itself in aggression:
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man screams
insults
waving his arms,
looks with suspicion, etc.
demands and hostility appear,
the person “gets personal”
tries to punish another person rather than satisfy his own needs.
Question: What are the differences between passively dependent and aggressive forms of insecurity?
behavior? Distinctive feature confident behavior - who is held accountable.
Shy people attribute it to themselves (reasonings are built along the lines of “I don’t have
it turns out because I myself am bad”) Aggressive people shift responsibility to others
people or the surrounding reality in general. (I can't do it because you tell me
you interfere).
7. Reasons for insecure and aggressive behavior. Self-doubt is most pronounced
manifests itself in behavior in situations related to communication. So, V.G. Romek notes the following
manifestations of uncertainty:
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fear of being rejected
low self-esteem,
irrational beliefs
excessive desire to “keep up appearances”,
lack of skills to express feelings and experience.
lack assertiveness because they lack experience.
Despite the fact that confident behavior strongly depends on the characteristics of the family
education and relationships with parents, it manifests itself in communication with peers. This gives
Huge opportunities for developing confident behavior skills in specially organized
groups. It is necessary to simulate the conditions in which it is possible to develop skills
self-confidence. Optimal conditions creates for this purpose psychological training. Trainer
helps to realize the ineffectiveness of the communication style and replace it with an effective style.
8. Consolidation
Exercise “Three Behaviors”
Participants act out scenes of conflict situations in which they are given the task of leading
yourself in accordance with one of the styles of behavior:
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shy (speak in an apologetic tone, in a quiet voice, agree with objections
interlocutor),
confidently (speak calmly, moderately loudly, looking directly at the interlocutor, persistently
state your demands and, if necessary, repeat them, do not resort to accusations and
threats),
aggressively (speak loudly, gesticulate vigorously, demand, order, threaten).
Each scene is played three times (12 minutes per repeat), in pairs. One of the partners behaves
according to one style, another - as he sees fit.
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Psychological meaning: demonstration of confident behavior in a conflict situation
through comparison with other styles. Confident behavior training. Discussion and
awareness of the pros and cons of each behavior style.

Discussion:
 What is in the soul, in the heart of aggressive teenagers?
 Can an aggressive person be a leader? If “yes,” then what characterizes it?
grouping?
What causes uncertainty? Can a person in a state of uncertainty achieve anything?
or?
What type of friends would you prefer to have around you?
What behavior is most successful?
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6. Exercise “Optimal options”
Participants are united into 3 groups. They are presented with conflict situations:
1. You bought a player, brought it home, but it doesn’t work. I asked for a replacement at the store, but there
they said that they would not change;
2. You are standing in line, and suddenly some guy and girl stand right in front of you, like
as if this is how it is needed;
3. You and your friends agreed to go to a disco on the occasion of your birthday. And mom says:
“You’re not going anywhere with me at night, you’re still little!”;
The participants’ task is to think through, rehearse and demonstrate skits that reflect
optimal (i.e., allowing you to achieve the goal with the greatest probability and with the least
expenditure of effort) options for confident, aggressive and shy behavior in relation to
every situation.
Psychological meaning: increasing flexibility in different situations, demonstrating types
behavior and that different strategies may be optimal depending on the situation
behavior.
9. Exercise “Storing my resources” Confident behavior depends on inner
person's position
Psychological meaning of the exercise: Providing an opportunity for self-presentation.
Instructions: Participants are asked to spell their name and choose the ones starting with
each of these letters has words that characterize them. You are given 45 minutes to think. Then everyone
states his name and the characteristics that he managed to come up with.
Analysis:
1. Was it difficult to look for characteristics?
2. Who would like to add other characteristics that are very suitable for you, but their names are not
start with letters included in the name?
5. Final circle “Interesting and useful”
Now let's all say in a circle that you found this lesson interesting and
useful. Or maybe something seemed wrong or offensive to someone? Everyone can
say a few words.
Lesson summary:
Doors and hearts open before a confident person; a confident person is faster
achieves goals, a confident person more easily builds harmonious relationships (friendships, family,
love, business).
A step towards confidence is always a small step towards success!
Homework
1.
Think about and write down in your diary the situations that make you anxious,
self-doubt. Describe in what situations you can feel the most
confident, calm.

2. Analyze your state at the moment of excitement: what you feel, what is especially
is bothering you, and what can return you to a state of peace, how do you look in such a situation.
This concludes our lesson. Until next time!

Psychology of confident behavior

The term “assertiveness” itself appeared in Russian psychologists and business coaches relatively recently - about ten years ago. At the same time, few people manage to briefly explain what it means. In short, the ability to behave assertively is the ability to achieve your goals and communicate with others in such a way that neither your rights nor theirs are violated.

In addition, assertiveness as a quality implies a certain personal autonomy, independence from other people’s opinions and the assessment of others, the ability to independently plan one’s own life and implement these plans.

At the same time, assertiveness as a method of communication is the best way interaction in which you do not manipulate the interlocutor, but also do not allow yourself to be an object of manipulation.

We are familiar with the expression “human rights”. Assertive behavior represents the practical implementation of certain “psychological rights” that we often forget about. In particular, at any moment in your life you absolutely have the right to change your mind, refuse someone or say “I don’t understand you” and not feel remorse about this.

If we approach the issue in a little more detail, we can say that assertiveness involves three components:

· Ability to protect and defend one’s own rights and interests

· The ability to formulate and defend one’s own opinion, even if this involves any difficulties.

· Ability to express your feelings and emotions.

Assertiveness is the ability of a person to confidently and with dignity defend his rights without trampling on the rights of others. Assertive is direct, open behavior that is not intended to harm other people. A variety of special socio-psychological training programs have been developed aimed at developing and strengthening assertiveness. Some of them follow a behavioral orientation to a greater extent, others are more tradition-oriented humanistic psychology, however, they are all, to one degree or another, guided by the principle of developing a person's ability to be firm, honest and friendly.

Adolescence is considered a relatively young achievement for humanity. Most researchers associate its appearance with the development of society, which places new, higher demands on people in terms of social maturity. If previously, in order to be considered an adult, a person had to go through the point of puberty, now this is not enough: a young person is faced with the task of meeting the requirements of society, and only by solving this problem can he be recognized as mature.

Different authors have proposed different lists of such development tasks. Accordingly, the length of time during which these development tasks can and should be resolved was assessed differently. Hence, there are significant differences in the timing of the beginning and end of adolescence and its duration in a person’s life.

However, the vast majority of psychologists, characterizing this age period, note the presence of drastic changes affecting almost all areas of a teenager’s life, leading to a restructuring of the entire system of relationships with others.

Many psychologists have addressed adolescence. Thus, St. Hall, who was the first to describe the features of adolescence and outline the range of problems associated with this age, considering human development from the standpoint of the theory of recapitulation, characterized adolescence as a period of storm and stress. S. Bühler, E. Stern, E. Erikson and others were interested in adolescence, among domestic psychologists We can highlight the classic works of L.S. Vygotsky, D.B. Elkonin, L.I. Bozhovich. Numerous studies have contributed to a wide range of facts regarding mental development during adolescence. The teenager accepts the changes that occur to his body in connection with the process of puberty, acquires new cognitive capabilities, builds a hierarchy of motives that determine the scope of his preferences, develops new ways of regulating his own behavior (learns to manage himself), forms own views to current events, builds his own worldview system, makes the first life choices(profession, loved one, direction of self-development, etc.), establishes new relationships with parents, taking into account their own increased independence and independence, enters into selective interpersonal relationships friendship and love with peers.

The main outcome of adolescence is considered to be the achievement of a new level of self-awareness, i.e. By the end of this period, a person receives a certain holistic idea of ​​himself, relates to himself emotionally, tries to change negative traits in himself, and sets goals for self-development. Knowing yourself involves comparing yourself with others, therefore special meaning in adolescence, he acquires communication, first of all, communication with peers (peers are in equal positions, which provides maximum opportunities for social comparison).

There are a number of characteristics of confident behavior:

1. Emotional speech, openness in expressing feelings.

2. Direct and honest expression own opinion, without regard to others.

3. Use of the pronoun I, no attempts to hide behind vague formulations.

4. Accepting praise and refusal without self-deprecation and underestimation of one’s strengths and qualities.

5. Improvisation as a spontaneous expression of feelings and needs.

Taking responsibility for your own behavior. At its core, assertiveness is a philosophy of personal responsibility. That is we're talking about that we are responsible for our own behavior and have no right to blame other people for our reaction to their behavior. It is important for any coach to react intelligently to situations, and not give instant answers.

Demonstrating self-respect and respect for others. The main component of assertiveness is the presence of self-esteem and respect for other people. If you don't respect yourself, then who will respect you? Respect yourself because the employees participating in the training must respect you as a trainer.

Effective communication. In this case, the main three qualities are the following: honesty, openness and directness in conversation, but not at the expense of emotional state another person. It's about being able to say what you think or feel about an issue without upsetting your communication partner. It is important that the trainer can communicate effectively with managers and ordinary employees. training confident behavior assertiveness teenager

Demonstrating confidence and a positive attitude. Assertive behavior involves developing confidence and a positive attitude. Self-confidence is related to two things: self-esteem and the knowledge that we are professionals who are good at our craft. All trainers must have strong confidence and a positive attitude in order to effectively deal with difficult situations that may arise during training activities.

Assertiveness requires the ability to listen carefully and the desire to understand the other person's point of view. We all consider ourselves good listeners, but the question arises how often do we move from facts to assumptions when listening to another person, and how often do we interrupt others in order to quickly make our point? point of view? Any trainer must learn carefully and listen productively and understand the essence of various problems and issues. Only then will he be able to offer solutions that will be positive.

Negotiations and reaching a working compromise. The desire to achieve a working compromise is a very important quality for you, the head of the department responsible for training activities. Sometimes there is a need to find a way out of the current situation that would suit all parties involved in it. The department responsible for training activities often acts as an intermediary between several parties: senior managers, trade unions, line managers and ordinary employees.

Finding simple ways out of difficult situations. Assertiveness helps us in the process of searching and finding simple ways out of difficult situations. It is not always easy to come to a consensus on the size of the budget for training activities, to clearly determine the future path of development of training activities in your organization, to convince managers of the importance of their role in the process of planning training activities, and also to manage them. That is why the ability to act assertively in difficult situations is a very useful skill.

Confident people have a huge influence on others. They achieve success faster. They are energetic, less dependent on circumstances, and prefer to shape them themselves. Confident people always have a huge influence on others.

Only calm confidence can create a zone of attraction that people always unmistakably identify. Confident people achieve success faster than others. They are energetic, less dependent on circumstances, since they prefer to shape them themselves. The dynamite of doubt is needed to explode the prejudices of the past. And the cement of confidence in order to build the building of our future.

Lack of confidence deprives a person of inner strength and weakens his position in life. The weak rarely succeed because they are constantly tormented by doubts.

Unconfident people are unable to analyze a difficult situation and are unable to make a responsible decision. They are not perceived as serious business partners. Their hallmark- constant dissatisfaction with life, they are rarely left in a bad mood. They do not know such a thing as fortitude.

Confidence is a state of mind. "...And according to faith it will be rewarded to you."

The less culture people have, the less they are able to think and act, the faster they lose their heads. It is no coincidence that all sustainable cultures place such importance on establishing confidence.

Confident people always act as leaders—active, proactive, and capable of taking risks. Insecure people tend to play the role of victim.

As you know, everything is learned by comparison. To fully understand what confidence is, you must first understand what uncertainty is. Let's note the main points.

Uncertainty:

* lethargy, weakness throughout the body, pallor;

* stiffness of movements, unnatural gestures, “closed” poses;

* speech is inexpressive, there are no clear formulations;

* hostile perception of the world, excessive touchiness, tearfulness;

* feeling of inferiority, awkwardness, guilt;

* feeling of loss of control over the situation.

Confidence:

* lightness throughout the body;

* feeling of inner strength;

* ease of gestures and poses, gracefulness of movements;

* positive perception of the world;

* emotional coloring and imagery of speech;

* feeling of self-worth, pride;

* feeling of complete control over the situation.

Assertiveness represents a kind of “golden mean” between passivity and aggressiveness - two obviously losing strategies. Passive person unable to convey his opinions and feelings to others, he sits back and waits for the incident to be resolved. Obviously, such passivity leads to a loss of control over the situation.

On the contrary, the aggressor “rushes” at the problem as if it were an embrasure and is inclined to demand everything for himself at once, without taking into account at all the interests of those around him or the other party when it comes to a conflict. Aggressive behavior can sometimes even be unpleasant to observe, let alone experience: people prone to this strategy can be rude, overly straightforward, and assertive.

A variant of “passive-aggressive” behavior is also common. They say about this “there are devils in still waters.” People prone to this like to “accumulate grievances” and make plans for revenge on the sly. Passive aggression manifests itself through refusal to fulfill requests, inaction, or open sabotage. In any case, all three strategies are not productive and “lose” to assertive behavior.

CONCLUSIONS FOR CHAPTER 1

1) The development of the methodological foundations of training presupposes the need to clarify the general and individual in different forms of training, as well as drawing boundaries between the training itself and other methods that can be defined as methods of intentional changes.

2) Adolescence is a special period of mental development, during which significant qualitative changes occur, necessitating a restructuring of the entire system of relationships with others and leading to the emergence of a new level of development of self-awareness.

3) There is a typology according to which various training programs are divided depending on the appeal to the specific problems of the individual, the goals that are set for the group.

4) Assertiveness as a method of communication is the optimal way of interaction.

Subject: Confident behavior.

Criteria for confident behavior

Compiled by:

Maksimyak E.N.

I block. Confident behavior

Target: developing the skill of confident behavior in society.

Tasks:

Restoring communication skills.

Introduction to theoretical material.

Formation of an attitude towards self-analysis and mandatory success.

Planned time - 2 hours 40 minutes.

Feedback.

Warm-up “Funny Ball”

Purpose of the exercise : warm-up, developing the ability to speak and listen to compliments.

- Let's start today with a game. Taking turns throwing this ball to each other, we will talk about the unconditional advantages, strengths the one to whom the ball is thrown. We will be careful to ensure that everyone has the ball.

Self Confidence - one of the most interesting properties human psyche. Different people They put completely different meanings into the word “confidence”.

In your opinion, what is confidence?

What signs indicate confident behavior?

Most people associate confident behavior with self-confident, aggressive behavior, when a person can walk in and say: “I’m the boss here.”Confident behavior - this is socially competent behavior that allows you to achieve your goal without the use of violence and coercion. It is characterized by certain intonations of voice, certain gestures, knowledge of one's rights and the ability to present them, or refusal to do something when forced. Very great value has the ability to say “No”.

People are afraid to say no. “Well, yes, if you say “no”, they will immediately kick you out.” An elementary fear arises that “no” cannot be said. You need to know your rights to be sure. And not only know, but also be able to defend your rights. The very first rule: you just need to know that you exist, that you exist. This is not a violation of the rights of other people.

Example: One guy who was with the specialist as a patient. Disheveled, unkempt, with animated gestures, he was part of a criminal gang. They walked in flocks and took off their hats. A few years later, he adapted socially and told the following story: “We walked around in a crowd of boys, and if we saw that a person was insecure, we could take off his hat even during the day. And what’s interesting is that he didn’t even scream. We approached, someone took off his hat, and calmly left, and he silently plopped somewhere in the winter without a hat. And there have been other cases when, even at night, we are walking in a crowd, and a man meets us, and it is clear from him that he is a confident person. We didn't touch him. Please teach people to behave confidently on the streets.” This is told by a guy who was in these groups. When a person is confident in himself, he can very calmly talk about the feelings that arise about this or that event, this or that action. And talking about these feelings is an expression of confident behavior.

There are three key definitions:

. "Self-confidence - this is the belief that there is something more in us than we know about ourselves. "Everyone has hidden potential! Think about it, once you didn’t even know how to walk! And now? There was a time when you couldn’t read and write, you didn’t know how to swim or drive a car. You gradually mastered all this. After all, a person is a learning creature. And if you are not able to do something now, this does not mean that it will be so throughout your life.

. Self Confidence - this is the belief that in a difficult situation you can rely on yourself)). We have all experienced difficult moments more than once in our lives. Sometimes we could only rely on ourselves, sometimes we could also rely on the help of others. And yet there is no person who at least once would not be forced to act in the example of Baron Munchausen: to pull himself out of the swamp by his own hands.

. "Self-confidence depends on the answer to the question: Who are you in this world -exclusive or mediocre (mediocre person, middle management) mediocre (nothing special)?” Really, who are you?upstart (a person who moved too quickly or took a prominent position public place not according to merit) or"man from the crowd" ?

I ask this question to all of you since it comes to confidence.

Under self-confidence understand a person’s ability to present their demands and requests in the process of communicating with others and achieve their implementation. In addition, confidence includes the ability to allow yourself to have requests and demands, to dare to express them, and to have the skills to implement them.

What is confident or insecure behavior?

Main feature insecure personality is that in social activities people who are insecure tend to avoid any form of personal expression as much as possible.

Psychologist Lazarus identified four groupspy skills,which, in his opinion, are sufficient for full-fledged life activity, and, consequently, for self-confidence. According to A. Lazarus, an adult must have:ability fromtalk privately about your desires and demands;ability to say"No";ability openlytalk about your positive and negative feelings;ability to installcontacts, start and end a conversation.Self-confidence has a magical effect on those around you. The ability to behave confidently in any situation is a resource that can increase everyone’s chances of achieving anything. For example, it is no secret that the best position best salary, etc., often go not always to the most professional and competent, but almost always to the one who knows how to behave more confidently, to “sell” himself - which is why confidence is considered one of the most important components of such a thing as charisma. Confident behavior is necessary both for sellers of different stripes - retail, “active”, “consultative”, etc., and for managers - it allows not only to effectively distribute workload and set goals, but also to behave flexibly with different ones - incl. not always constructive - subordinates, etc. If we talk about conflict situations, then we can say for sure that it is simply impossible to overestimate the importance of confident behavior in them - for example, it is difficult to imagine an employee of the claims service or a financial controller who is insecure.

What does it mean to be confident? Looking confident and feeling confident are not the same thing, and you need to learn to show external confidence while maintaining internal confidence. What do you need to learn in order to be able to behave confidently in the most difficult situations? To begin with, we need to learn to clearly define the difference between aggressive, compliant and confident behavior, and understand how others will behave depending on our behavior. Why, for example, does our some harmless question cause a violent reaction from our interlocutor, or is our interlocutor for some reason offended by our desire to help? A possible answer is that your posture at the time of asking indicated that you were not so much asking as you were “pushing”, or the offer of help was made in an irritated tone. Thus, the first thing we need to learn is to bring our words into line with body language and voice, clearly realizing what can be understood by the interlocutor as a manifestation of aggression, and what as a manifestation of uncertainty. That is, at the first stage we learn to recognize and “depict” confidence.

The next most important component, without which effective business communication is impossible, is managing emotions. The key task here is not to suppress, hide or restrain one’s emotions - everyone knows that sooner or later they will “break through” anyway; The main step towards managing your emotions is the ability to express your emotions correctly so that the feelings you experience do not deprive you of the ability to think sensibly and act rationally. There is a point of view that we live when we experience any feelings, however, if you do not know how to manage your emotions, then your emotions will control you. There is another well-known thought: “Whoever causes your anger controls you.” Thus, we need the ability to manage our emotions in order to fully manage our lives.

Next point On our list we will write the ability to clearly and clearly express one’s thoughts. Often, and especially in a controversial situation, we unconsciously proceed from the premise that our position is absolutely clear and understandable to our opponent, but as a rule, this is not the case! We may get rejected or irritate our interlocutor simply because we have been beating around the bush for too long and confusedly. Thus, the next thing you need to work on is the ability to briefly and succinctly formulate the essence of your message or request.

No less important is the ability to refuse, and to do it in such a way that you yourself are not left with a feeling of guilt, and the one you refused leaves without resentment towards you. Different in content, but similar in the techniques used, is the situation when you need to inform someone bad news, or give an unpleasant order, etc. The skills described above - managing emotions and expressing one’s thoughts - will allow you to refuse firmly enough (to avoid the temptation of the interlocutor to enter into a discussion, “beg, etc.), but correctly (without emotional involvement).

Often, various “cockroaches” on the topic “what is good and what is bad” interfere with behaving confidently. For example, “I must be liked,” “I must be strong,” “I must, since I promised,” etc. This is what most manipulative techniques are based on, such as: “You are a man, so you must give in to me”; or “It would simply be rude of you to refuse me”; or “You are a reasonable person, therefore you should enter into my position,” etc. Each of us has a lot of similar ideas in our heads - to whom and for what he owes; and thanks to them, we become easy prey for professional manipulators and other “predators”.

Exercise “Help a friend.” Imagine that you work on a popular youth radio, and a teenager calls you with the problem that he is very insecure and asks for your help and support. What would you wish for him?

Very often a person experiences a feeling of grief, resentment, but cannot express it. When a person is confident in himself, he can very calmly talk about the feelings that arise about this or that event, this or that action. And talking about these feelings is an expression of confident behavior. People who are insecure are more susceptible to manipulation by others, although no one says that a confident person is not susceptible to manipulation. He just has more opportunities to notice them. And resist. A good manipulator perfectly hides his tricks under normal socially correct behavior. A confident person has more opportunities not to succumb to these manipulations. Or achieve what he wants with the help of them, and do it consciously. A confident person does not particularly monitor the manipulations of others, since for him it is a waste of energy. When I know what I want, then I will do what I want. I will either meet you halfway, satisfy your desire, or I will not do this and will not succumb to manipulation, but at this time, tracking whether I am being manipulated or not is quite energy-consuming and is it worth doing?

Example: When a mother constantly yells at her child, she is expressing aggression. In fact, this is her way of expressing her uncertainty about his upbringing. The child feels this perfectly and takes advantage of it. If mom screams, it means she is not able to cope. She demonstrates her helplessness. The child begins to perfectly manipulate his parents, directing this energy where he needs it. Magnificent manipulators

* Do you think aggression is present in confident or insecure people?

In addition, some scientists, analyzing the characteristics of self-confident behavior, were faced with the problem of determining the fine line between confidence and aggressiveness. A high degree of confidence and aggressiveness can coincide if, through aggressive actions, a person easily and reliably achieves the fulfillment of his needs and does not see any negative side effects. Similarly, insecurity and aggression can coexist if someone's behavioral repertoire includes only aggressive behavior. Even if aggressiveness does not bring anything, a person continues to behave aggressively whenever, overcoming uncertainty, he nevertheless decides to do something. But most often, self-confident people are extremely rarely aggressive, since other, non-aggressive actions are quite sufficient for a life that suits them.

It is important to learn to adequately assess your own behavior and pay attention to qualities such as confidence or self-doubt. It can be argued that insecure behavior harms a person, leading to an insecure person holding back his feelings due to anxiety, guilt and insufficient social skills. It is necessary to distinguish confident behavior from insecure and aggressive behavior. An aggressive person violates the rights of others through dominance. Aggression is not based on mature self-esteem and is an attempt to satisfy one's needs at the expense of another person. Confident behavior increases the possibility of choice and control over your own life.

A confident person knows that he has certain rights, knows how to accurately define and express his desires, needs and feelings so that it does not affect others. He knows how to build relationships with other people, what is called “on an equal footing,” regardless of the position they occupy. Thus, we can say that a self-confident person is convinced of the right to realize the needs of his “I” and knows the methods and forms of such realization, respects the positions and status of other people.

We will name only the most clear differences between confident, insecure and aggressive behavior. Confident people speak loudly and clearly, but never resort to shouting, often look into the eyes of their interlocutor, but do not “drill their eyes into the interlocutor’s eyes,” and always maintain the optimal communication distance, without approaching the interlocutor closely. Confident people know how to pause in a conversation, rarely interrupt their partners, and are able to express their thoughts clearly and clearly.In words (in the verbal plane), self-confident people openly talk about their feelings, desires and claims, accompanying them with a brief and clear justification, often use the pronoun I, and are not afraid of expressing personal opinions. Insults, reproaches, and accusations are rarely heard from self-confident people. They express all claims to others on their own behalf. It cannot be said that these characteristics are formed by themselves or that a person is already born confident. Like all socio-psychological qualities of a person, self-confidence is formed during socialization - i.e. in interaction with other people and the social environment.

Signs of insecure behavior (I'm bad, you're good):

Human:

Looks at the floor;

cannot defend his position;

The very first “no” leads him to abandon further attempts to achieve his goal;

cannot ask;

Notmay refuse;

It is difficult for him to convince his interlocutor by giving arguments;

Answers in monosyllables “yes” and “no”;

Do not sit down while talking;

Hides his legs under the chair;

Keeps oneself at a great distance from the interlocutor;

Wrinkles his hands;

speaks quietly

Signs of aggressive behavior (I'm good, you're bad):

Human:

Does not argue his position;

After refusal, he does not leave, but stubbornly tries to achieve his goal;

Likes to praise himself;

During communication, reduces the distance between oneself and the interlocutor;

Looks straight;

Can ask and refuse;

Can put pressure on the interlocutor (“I know that you...”, “I really need...”, “You must...”)

Signs of confident behavior -good,you're good):

A person with confidence:

Uses “I statements”;

Applies empathic listening;

Knows how to talk about his desires;

Reflects statements;

Reflects feelings;

Knows how to ask;

Knows how to refuse;

Able to accept refusal;

Speaks directly and openly;

He is prone to compromises and offers them himself.

"UNCONFIDENT, CONFIDENT AND AGGRESSIVE RESPONSES"

Each subgroup is asked to demonstrate insecure, confident and aggressive types of responses in a given situation. The following situations can be suggested:

Checking tickets on the bus. For some reason you don’t have a ticket. The controller approaches you. You tell him...

Your neighbor's dog ruined your rug. You ring your neighbor's doorbell. He appears on the threshold. You tell him...

A group of young, cheerful people in a cinema disturbs you with loud conversation. You contact them...

Your friend did not give you the borrowed money on time. You say...

At the clinic, some guy rushes to see the doctor out of turn. Everyone is silent. You say...

Questions for discussion:

What feeling can a person who lacks self-confidence feel? (feeling of pity). Is this the kind of person you want to be around?

How does an aggressive person feel? (fear, discomfort). Is this the kind of person you want to be around?

What feeling does a confident person evoke? (feeling of reliability and you want to be with him)

“Cool” - what kind of person is this?

In order to be “cool”, you need some attribute: “I am “cool” because I have in my hands a can of beer, a cigarette, a gold signet, a thick gold chain, a good car. If a "cool" person doesn't have this attribute, does he look "cool", can he be called "cool"? What behavior do you think lies beneath “cool”? Underneath “coolness” lies insecure behavior: if this attribute is missing, then I’m no longer “cool.”

So, first of all, you need to figure out how often and what signs of confidence or uncertainty you have

Exercise “Confident intonations.” Two volunteers are called. The presenter, with the help of leading questions, clarifies a topic that is controversial for the participants, so that they adhere to the opposite point of view. After the controversial topic has been clarified, the moderator announces a “public debate” (3 min.). During this time, each of the disputants must try to persuade his opponent to his point of view. At the end of the allotted time, the remaining participants must vote to determine which of the participants had the most confident intonations in their voice. If during the debate one of the opponents gives up, then the other automatically wins. All participants must go through the debate.

In conclusion, I would like to give one of the definitions of the concept of “confidence”, which logically embodies all of the above points:“Confidence is the ability to openly and clearly state your thoughts, feelings and desires, without expecting any reaction or immediate action from others, and recognizing the right of others to behave in the same way.”

II block. Criteria for confident behavior

Before developing behavioral skills, it is necessary to determine which behavior will be the best result. To this end, we will define the main criteria for confident behavior.

1. Concreteness and openness in expressing your feelings and emotions

People do not have the ability to read each other's minds, but they can ask and openly state their feelings, desires and needs.

Openness lies in the sincere expression of one’s feelings “here and now”, respectful attitude towards another, the ability to convey information about one’s feelings without humiliating another, and always speaking in the first person.

Interpretation of emotions It works best for people with a high degree of anxiety, suspicion, dependence, resentment, and empathy.Presentation of emotions It works better for people with a high degree of gullibility, openness and expressiveness.

People withlow presentation and interpretation abilities characterized by self-directedness, self-sufficiency, suspicion and low empathy.

2. Behavioral flexibility

Flexibility in behavior is, first of all, the ability to abandon unworking character traits and life strategies, beliefs and methods.

Usually a person cannot part with one or another of his roles or traits, since it carries some very important function, the so-called secondary benefit.Note:Secondary benefit - this is when visible problem hidden the real reason why this problem exists.

The implementation of a new way of life encounters an obstacle called “habit”. Each of us has three main habits, these are the habit of being right in everything, the habit of “being cool,” looking good and not falling in the eyes of others, and the habit of controlling everything and everyone.

Exercise. Think about your problem, ask yourself the question “What good, what benefits do I get when I have this problem?” At first, the consciousness may be indignant, what a strange question, I am suffering so much, what benefits could there be... But, you need to continue asking yourself this question until the answers are received. After receiving the answers, draw some conclusions for yourself about how you can keep the benefits to yourself while still solving the problem.

State the problem.

We begin to look for secondary benefits by answering the following questions in writing:

The worst thing about this is...

The best thing about this is...

If I achieved what I wanted, what would I lose?

Am I achieving with this problem something that I would not have achieved without it?

What positive thing does this problem do for me?

What should I not have to deal with while I have this problem?

What would I like to change?

What kind of person would I like to become?

What is missing to achieve this?

When do I want this to happen?

How will I know that I have achieved the desired result?

What resources do I have to overcome the problem?

How can you use what prevents you from overcoming the problem?

How can I start to solve this problem?

"My habits..."	"My secondary benefit..."
1… 2… 3…	1… 2… 3…

3. Responsibility

Responsibility— it is taking ownership of your actions. Responsibility does not equal guilt, because guilt— it's imposed social rules and morals feeling, which helps make a person comfortable for society. Responsibility does not equal cargo. Because we are responsible only for our lives and only for our feelings. But none of us is responsible for that, what choices other people make, for that, what they feel. If you don't take responsibility for your life, someone else takes it. And then this other one does this to your life, what he considers necessary. Don't make a decision or make a choice— this is also a decision and a choice.

4. Self-acceptance ( self-acceptance, love for yourself (unconditional), for who you are, treating yourself as a person who is worthy of love, respect, faith in yourself, in your strengths and capabilities, trust in yourself)

People who have optimal level self-approval and self-acceptance, the following skills and abilities are characteristic:

1. Loyalty to your principles, despite the opposing opinions of others, combined with sufficient flexibility and the ability to change your opinion if it is wrong.

2. The ability to act on one's own discretion without feeling guilt or regret in the event of disapproval from others.

3. The ability not to waste time worrying excessively about tomorrow and yesterday.

4. The ability to maintain confidence in one’s abilities, despite temporary setbacks and difficulties.

5. The ability to appreciate the personality in each person and the feeling of his usefulness to others, no matter how different he is in the level of his abilities and position.

6. Relative ease in communication, the ability to both defend one’s rightness and agree with the opinions of others.

7. The ability to accept compliments and praise without feigned modesty.

8. Ability to resist.

9. The ability to accept one’s own and other people’s feelings, the ability to suppress one’s impulses.

10. The ability to find pleasure in a wide variety of activities, including work, play, socializing with friends, creative expression, or recreation.

11. Sensitive attitude to the needs of others, compliance with accepted social norms.

12. The ability to find the good in people, to believe in their integrity, despite their shortcomings.

Exercise 1. It is convenient to start with the simplest. Take a piece of paper and write at least 10 sentences, each beginning with the words “I forgive myself for...”. List everything that upsets you about yourself, for which you are angry with yourself. No matter what mistakes you have made, remember, you deserve to accept yourself along with them. In a week, instead of the pronoun “I,” write those people who irritate, enrage, offend, oppress you. This is important because in others we react to what we condemn and reject in ourselves (“you can’t be like this…”). Then write at least 10 sentences starting with the words: “I like about myself...”. Likewise, look for merit in people you dislike. In addition to developing an objective perception of what is happening, you will thus be able to more easily find positive things in yourself. It is not necessary to write any grandiose advantages here. Pay attention to every little detail.

5. Accepting praise and giving compliments

Accepting praise is seen as a rejection of self-deprecation and underestimation of one’s strengths and qualities. This is the ability to say “thank you” with a smile in response to a compliment, as well as the courage to tell another what you like and what you don’t like about him. A compliment should always be sincere and specific. Its main function is to inspire a person. A compliment devoid of sincerity and faith is flattery and manipulation.

Exercise 2. “Praise yourself.” Every day, for some the most convenient time is before bed, praise yourself for something. For the old lady transferred across the road, for a successfully completed deal, for showing restraint, etc. There are excuses - I have nothing to praise myself for - that seem to smack of some kind of false modesty, this is more a sign of laziness of the mind, lack of the habit of thinking and looking for what is needed. Practice.

6. Acceptance of the other

The ability to accept another is closely related to such a phenomenon as egocentrism of thinking (it is a hidden mental attitude, meaning the inability of an individual to change his original position towards some object, opinion or idea, even in the face of obvious contradictions. One’s own point of view is absolute, which does not allow one to understand the possibility of the existence of other, opposing points of view).

All conflicts and disagreements arise precisely because of the inability to understand each other. As a result, we condemn and criticize people who are different from us. A confident person knows that everyone has the right to experience what they feel, to say what they think is necessary, since there are no wrong feelings and thoughts, there are thoughts and feelings of each individual person. Understanding this brings harmony and trust to relationships.

7. Sincerity

This difficult thing is sincerity. Sincerity in your feelings and values, in your opinions and statements. But sincerity is the most great strength in the world because it contains truth. People, out of fear of condemnation, criticism, ridicule, devaluation, are afraid of their sincere manifestations, therefore sincerity is discouraging, but it inspires respect and trust. Being sincere with myself is expressed in the ability to do what I should and can do. at the moment, no more, no less. The ability to do what you can is an integral part of sincerity, saving you from confusion and increasing confidence.

8. The ability to say “NO”

A request is when a person turns to us for something that belongs to us. And if consent is not in our interests, we have every right to say “no.”

When someone enters into communication with you, you have the right to either refuse the interaction or determine the extent of your participation in it.By saying “no,” we protect our interests and our boundaries. If we say “yes” when it is against our best interests, we will harm ourselves. At the same time, we are afraid of a deterioration in the relationship with this person - and this is important both in business and in everyday life. We understand that if we refuse, “he will be offended”, “he will be angry with me”, “the relationship will be worse”, “he will harm”, “then he will not give something”. We predict possible consequences the “blow” that we inflict with our refusal.

Therefore, when we want to learn how to say “no” correctly and in a timely manner, we are faced with several problems at the same time - how to minimize the force of the blow to another person’s self-esteem, how to reduce our discomfort in a situation of refusal, how to prevent possible negative consequences this situation in the future.

9. Using the pronoun “I” in speech

The use of the pronoun “I” in all its linguistic forms is an important indicator of confidence, as it reflects that there is a person behind the words who is not trying to hide behind vague formulations. For example, how often when describing one’s own experiences, a person uses the pronoun “you” instead of “I”: “there you feel like a stranger.” A person uses this speech paradox when he is embarrassed by his own experiences, thoughts, needs, attributing them to others. Such a person is afraid of criticism, does not trust himself and expects condemnation from others, strives to meet their expectations.

10. Proactivity

This is the understanding that the future depends on the present, on what is now happening in a person’s mind. The real life of a proactive person is that he is absolutely happy with the present, but wants more.

Three positions on current events

"Man of the Past" - acceptance of the situation and lack of desire to change anything:“I accept this situation, everything is fine, I have to come to terms with it, it was good before, but now... but nothing can be done.”

"Man of the Future" - non-acceptance of the situation and the desire for rapid change:“I am completely unhappy with this, efforts will have to be made to speed up future events.”

"The Man of the Real" - acceptance of the situation and desire and belief in its improvement: “I'm happy with what's happening now, I accept it and believe in the best».

A proactive person does not make his mood dependent on external circumstances; he is not afraid to be left alone, to be unrecognized, misunderstood, to stand out from the crowd, because he understands that in order to be happy he already has everything.

Exercise. "Confidence Map" Draw a map of your own confidence. Take a sheet of paper, preferably A4, and pens/pencils/markers. On one part of the map there will be a zone of confidence, on the other - a zone of uncertainty, and the people with whom you communicate or want to communicate are distributed along the map. Somewhere closer to the border there must be people (or events) with whom you feel average. In the far zone of uncertainty are people and cases when you feel extremely anxious and difficult. And in the zone of confidence - situations in which you feel great, courageous, and communicate with ease.

You can add to your map: create a city of trust and ease in the zone of confidence. In the zone of uncertainty there are factories for the production of constraint, factories of complexes... I am attaching an example to help you. As you can see, the map is drawn a simple person, not an artist, and you can do the same!