Signs of self-dislike, how it manifests itself in life. Self-love - how it manifests itself, signs and indicators that a person loves himself

Signs of self-dislike, how it manifests itself in life

I have already mentioned that our meanings are milestones in our lives, from which our gaze is based when we look at the world around us and choose where to move.

It is necessary to say a few more words about the perception of the surrounding world and people. I have already written about the fact that we have our own meanings for everything we observe, which are located in our internal space. I emphasize in ours.

Now let’s look at such a simple example as the perception of the plumber Uncle Vasya, who is constantly tipsy, “under the influence.” Constant consumption of alcohol, smell, unintelligible speech, etc. Our attitude towards him is not so great. But this plumber came running at the first call when a pipe burst in the apartment, and he did everything very quickly. And the neighbors were not flooded, and the damage in their apartment was minimal. And... the attitude towards Uncle Vasya changed to positive. Savior. You no longer perceive him as an alcoholic, but as an uncle who sometimes drinks. As a result, your attitude became condescending to his preferences against the backdrop of the importance of his help - professional and timely.

Has Uncle Vasya changed? After all, the attitude has changed! No, Uncle Vasya remained the same. Our meaning associated with Uncle Vasya has changed. And this happens often in life. This is just another proof that our meanings guide us.

I will make the assumption that I came to when discussing the influence of meanings on our activities, that in fact a person, experiencing emotions, constantly interacts no longer with the world around him, but with his internal meanings. And thus, continuing this thought, we can conclude that a person does not overcome obstacles in the world around him, following the goal, but constantly struggles with his own internal meanings. Using the example of Uncle Vasya, the meaning of an alcoholic has gone to the side, giving way to the meaning of simply good professional, sometimes drinking alcohol.

You don’t like the person, but his image in your mind, endowed with your meanings. So who don't you like? Person or image?

The most interesting thing is that the values change in an unclear way and influence us in an unclear way. How do our meanings manifest themselves? Unbeknownst to us, our attitude, mood, and state change. This is where I want to cite those very signs of self-dislike, by working with which we can indirectly influence our own attitude to ourselves.

I have already written that these signs are varying degrees are described in many places on the Internet. During my research, I found the most complete, in my opinion, listing of them on the website www.self-love.ru. I repeat once again that I do not dispute the authorship of the signs in any way. The reasons for the occurrence, accompanying the symptoms and described below, are entirely the result of the thoughts of your humble servant. On the website, the list of signs is accompanied by advice, they say, you need to realize and change yourself. It's necessary. But how can this be changed? Although I'm getting ahead of myself. We are talking about the signs by which you can determine dislike for yourself.

Let's look at the common signs (symptoms) that allow us to recognize for ourselves that we don't love ourselves.

In the future, you will have to specifically write down individual characteristics for the current work. In the meantime, you can tick off those moments that have happened at least a couple of times in your life. Practice shows that sometimes a couple of cases are enough to confirm the presence of certain meanings in relation to oneself. After the signs, I gave descriptions of their causes, most often coming from childhood.

Signs that most often express self-dislike

When trouble arises, panic may begin, and the world shrinks to the size of this problem.

Have you ever found yourself in a situation where the most insignificant trouble turns everything you have done into nothing, and you can no longer imagine anything at all without solving this trouble? If there have been such cases, put a tick next to this sign.

Feeling guilty, making excuses, or beating yourself up.

An attitude of self-dislike often manifests itself in a readiness to experience feelings of guilt and logical attempts to find an excuse for oneself. And sometimes blaming yourself for something develops into exhausting constant reproaches and accusations of yourself. When you are guilty, then you will be punished less.

Clarifying or clarifying questions can cause self-doubt and anxiety.

Even seemingly such questions from your interlocutor as dictated by the desire to clarify and clarify, lead to the fact that you begin to doubt the correctness of not only your actions, but also your words. What if you did something wrong and adults don’t smile at you?

Even if you are a great specialist in your field, there is a constant belief that someone can do a better job than you.

You constantly expect someone else to do better than you. You don’t trust your professionalism; it seems to you that you haven’t done everything to be the best. You see everyone as rivals. After all, if someone does better, it is likely that then all the attention, love and warmth will go to him.

Constant desire to please.

You constantly, in any conditions, make every effort to ensure that the people around you show you their affection, so that they celebrate you. After all, then you will definitely be provided with good attitude and attention. And he is so missed by the poor child, who did not always do what others liked and for this he was excommunicated from warmth and affection.

Expectation of praise.

Praise is approval of actions. And approval of actions is the litmus test, based on which, a poor child who does not believe in himself can do the right things that will receive the support of adults.

Dependence on other people's opinions.

In everything, the measure of correctness for you is someone else's opinion. Just like in childhood, you continue to put someone on a pedestal, focusing on who will say what. Distrust of yourself, lack of acceptance of yourself forces you to constantly do not as you want, but as others want, since someone else’s opinion in case of distrust of yourself is preferable to you. Just a betrayal of yourself.

Seeking external approval.

One of the varieties of a combination of the desire to please and the expectation of praise. External approval is an indicator of the correctness of actions. This good attitude towards the child, no one will be angry, because adults approve of the child’s actions.

Critical remarks, which perhaps relate only to the process, give rise to a search for the reason in oneself in the first place, and even such reactions: “I deserve it,” although criticism can be unfair.

This is directly related to feelings of inferiority, negative assessments of children's independence, the child's expectation of the next indication of some shortcomings made by him, etc. As a result, the slightest critical remark to some process in which you are participating makes you start looking for reason in yourself and take for granted, relating directly to the process (and what relation do you have to the author of the process), addressed to yourself and to once again blame yourself for something, you will find the reason for yourself.

Self-criticism, self-flagellation.

It happens that children’s decisions come: “I’ll scold myself, adults will notice it, appreciate it, and they won’t scold me, or they’ll scold me a little.” Here, approximately the same signs are found, however, whoever calls them what they call them. It happens that this name is not suitable, but another is suitable.

Willingness to work seven days a week and without vacation for the sake of others, to the detriment of oneself.

This is a field of activity for bosses who love free labor. The hope is that this will be appreciated and, in the end, either promoted through the ranks or increased in salary. In fact, it is a manifestation of self-deprecation, a decision to endure, to step on the throat of one’s own song in the hope of tomorrow’s subsequent justice. We must, we must be patient. Humble your pride. God endured and showed us whiteness. Refusal of one's own claims, withdrawal from reality.

If you need to take a day off or a day off, you should have “super weighty” arguments, fear of talking with your boss, and a willingness to give up personal plans.

Justifying yourself must be very significant in order for you to receive what already belongs to you. The inconvenience of communication in order to demand one’s own is scary, again due to the fact that: “What if they think that I’m an egoist, etc.” And the willingness to give up personal plans is... you can’t give a damn about yourself. “I will lay down my life for the sake of the team.” Loyalty to the team, so that, God forbid, they don’t turn away, because then I’ll die (remember thoughts about freedom, separation from the masses, loneliness?).

Possible “consolation” from the fact that someone has been drinking or looks worse...

Comparing yourself and someone else in this case gives the effect of “goodness” of yourself, but it is only ephemeral. This simply continues in another form, the search for justification of oneself, flaunting not one’s merits, but the failures of another, and due to this, the apparent rise of oneself (one’s status) above another. It is in this way that internal dissatisfaction with oneself and the desire to at least receive appreciation in this way are muffled.

Attacks of self-pity.

By feeling sorry for oneself, a person confirms and thus cherishes negative assessments yourself, meekly agreeing with them, and with them, these shortcomings, justifying your failures. And this makes me feel even more sorry for myself: I couldn’t, I didn’t do it, I didn’t receive it. Vicious circle It turns out to be pity, from which sometimes there is simply no way out.

When you have to express your opinion, you yourself consider it insignificant, unimportant, and not worthy of attention.

A low assessment of oneself, dislike for oneself is expressed in the fact that a person, even having his own opinion, is internally afraid to agree with him, to show independence and to believe that he can do something on his own. It is because of this that he considers it not worthy of attention, of little importance.

Indecision, fear of initiating a discussion of issues and voicing, pronouncing problems, manifestation of passivity.

The fear of starting a conversation about something is most likely caused by the fear of saying something wrong, which could change the attitude towards a person; the child inside a person remembers that a good attitude is the key to a lot. What if a conversation started, a mention of something, affects the interests of someone on whom their well-being depends? It doesn’t matter that you have to give up your principles, but the attitude will be good.

Willingness to solve problems independently, without asking for help or voicing the problem itself.

This sign, despite its apparent absurdity, is an indicator of one’s attitude towards oneself. A person makes enormous efforts to solve a problem, overexerting himself, but without asking for help or voicing the problem. Excessive compensation for feelings of inferiority, an attempt at all costs to prove to everyone that I can do everything myself, independently, without outside help. Distrust of others, since there is an internal meaning that he himself is so bad that he is not worthy of help, and that he must cope with everything himself in order to prove to everyone that he is good.

The desire to achieve ideal, perfection in everything, and all the “perfect, ideal” details are a means to once again be liked.

The desire to constantly achieve the ideal, perfection in everything is a sign that a person begins to push himself, constantly find fault with the fruits of his own labor, that is, he experiences dissatisfaction with himself. But all this is really just to have a positive external assessment. Since the same thing depends on it - the good attitude of other adults. But there is no limit to perfection!

Willingness to accept conditions that are uncomfortable for oneself, instead of proposing and defending one’s interests.

This, again, is the result of the desire to earn approval by one’s behavior, to receive a good assessment from others. Willingness to sacrifice one's interests in order to maintain good relations. Otherwise, God forbid, they will be accused of selfishness or withdrawal from the team!

IN public places(for example, on a train) - a desire to please, to serve, for example, not to turn on the light if you leave the compartment at night, refusal to help.

This sign is directly related to the previous ones. Ignoring one’s interests adds a desire to earn a good attitude through one’s actions, etc.

Inability, unwillingness to ask for help in any form.

The manifestation of previous signs in this form. This may also be a consequence of a postulate introduced in childhood like “Only a weakling needs help!”, which means only one thing: asking for help is an indicator of weakness. Therefore, if there is a feeling of inferiority, it can be a priori rejected by a person.

Embarrassment of one's body and appearance.

This is the same attitude towards your body, towards yourself, which developed as a result of unflattering, at first glance, humorous, expressions in your direction, first from those closest to you, and then from other people around you. A person gradually turns into constant criticism of his body, appearance, and dislike for himself.

Eating grievances, hence excess weight.

IN stressful situations everyone behaves differently. Some people begin to take active action, while others focus their energy on playing sports to the point of exhaustion. And many begin to eat away their experiences and grievances, as in childhood, when with the help of food the child fought the consequences of the stress that he experienced as a result of insults, humiliation, and lack of attention from adults. Maybe because food is a symbol for a child, that protection is somewhere nearby, because mother means delicious food. It is those childhood experiences that lead to low self-esteem and increased anxiety in the child. And this way of experiencing problems in childhood leads to excess weight in adulthood.

The desire to do something for others, at the expense of one’s own money, time, effort - paying for others for something, serving others during lunch, etc.

Not to be confused with the common sense of politeness. All this listed with the prefix “too much” - willingness to do, service, paying other people's bills. Nothing is too natural. A clear desire to please, to make a very good impression. Again, trying to get a good attitude.

Recognition of oneself only due to the number of “good deeds” for others.

A person evaluates himself only by what he believes to be good for others. Evaluates himself only in terms of his usefulness to others. In this case, there is a clear disregard for oneself as a unique person, sacrifice for others.

Embarrassment to voice discomfort - if you want to drink, eat, feel hot, cold - instead of asking or simply doing something, attracting attention to yourself.

For some, attracting attention to oneself is like death. They never want to be the object of attention from others. Although inside this is all they crave. Denial of what you want. Despite the fact that this is constantly accompanied by oppression of oneself in one’s desires, comfort, etc.

The desire to be invisible.

Directly related to the previous sign. Like a child’s desire to hide so as not to be noticed. Otherwise they will notice and scold you.

Unwillingness to remind about debt or other obligations to oneself.

The embarrassment to remind about obligations is due to the fact that it will be perceived as something wrong, they will be accused of greed, of selfishness. And this is due to changes in relationships between people. Tolerate yourself, but do not disturb others.

The desire to keep the worst piece for yourself and give the best to someone else.

Again, the same rules set by a person for himself: if I give the best piece, they will take it into account, notice, and improve their attitude.

Please do not confuse this with ordinary care for loved ones.

Inability to refuse, willingness to take on overwhelming obligations, inability to say “no.”

This is a variation of several signs given earlier, described in other words.

Denial of compliments.

How much do you have to dislike yourself in order to deny compliments to your own qualities or abilities?

Denial of one's merits.

You did something, they tell you about it or tell other people about it, and you deny it. Just in case. What if it turns out later that you need to be punished for this?

Dear reader, you can add to this list yourself. I simply included the most common and described symptoms in this list. In any case, the choice is yours.

I foresee your perhaps bewilderment.

- How? – you can say. – But everyone has all this! So what does this mean that I don’t love myself?

To this possible question I can answer that here, on the pages of this book, I am not discussing or blaming anyone. And I’m certainly not going to argue with anyone. It just is, it manifests itself like this, and it’s your right to accept it or not. I allowed myself only to present my assumptions of possible origins.

The techniques and techniques that I offer you on the pages of this book, when carried out, allow you to radically change your attitude towards yourself through these very signs. My friends and colleagues tested this for themselves. And these changes are not long in coming, first of all in relation to yourself, and then to the world around you and people.

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What does it mean to love yourself? How do we know if we love ourselves? What does this look like in practice?

In my articles, I have said more than once that self-love is the basis. Without this, any self-development turns into self-torture and does not give good results. But still, for many, these are just words, words... Self-love is measured by our feelings. Do we feel fulfilled? Do we feel happy and self-sufficient? Are we dependent on the recognition of others? Do we ourselves know how to give love to others or do our relationships resemble buying and selling? I wrote a lot about how the present is impossible without this core within us... But in order to maintain these wonderful feelings within yourself, specific actions are usually needed. This is not always something unique and mysterious. I’ll tell you how self-love manifests itself in my life.

1. It is very important for me to find time for solitude every day. Go to the bath and sit with your thoughts for at least 15-20 minutes, listen to the sound of the water, relax, and relieve yourself of excess stress. Before the birth of my second baby, I got up half an hour earlier to sit quietly in the bath. Now I have stopped getting up so early due to poor night sleep, but in the morning I definitely ask my husband to give me these 15-20 minutes. After them I feel much better. However, I am not saying that every woman needs this daily practice. You may have something of your own: something that makes you feel significantly better.

2. I don't skimp on small things. Again, it is important to listen to your needs, your desires. Personally, the fact that we don’t have a car doesn’t hurt me at all. Or that my phone was bought four years ago. However, it is important to me that we always have high-quality fresh fruit so that the coating of the pans remains in good condition, so that I really like the shampoo, soap and toothpaste. I don't spare money on good dishes and body care. However, my mascara is quite simple - today I tried different options and I don’t see any difference between them except the brand.

3. I only wear what I like at home. Namely, short dresses. I always put on jewelry in the morning, I make it very light makeup. And the birth of a second child did not affect this in any way. Although no, it did... Simple dresses were replaced by nursing sundresses. And now I’m actively looking for such beautiful sundresses - so far I only have one... It’s not easy to find something that you really like in stores. And I don’t want to wear anything I don’t really like.

4. I cook only when I am in the mood and have the strength. In other cases, I can quickly cook porridge or pasta. Or even ask your husband to order pizza home. And I cook only creatively - enthusiastically trying new combinations, mixing everything that is in the refrigerator... A creative approach to cooking for me is also a manifestation of self-love. I don’t force myself, but I enjoy standing at the stove. And yes, now I choose dishes that take no more than twenty minutes. Maximum - half an hour. Delicious cutlets will still appear on our menu, but only when the children get older.

5. I don’t hesitate to ask my husband for help if I’m tired or don’t have time to do something.

6. I try to make all games with my daughter interesting for myself. So as not to get bored, cut out circles from colored paper and learn ridiculous nursery rhymes. I buy my daughter only those books that she enjoys reading herself. Instead of regular drawing, we often take out coloring books (I prefer to color pictures with felt-tip pens). Instead of gluing circles onto cardboard, we cut out pictures from magazines and glue them onto a blank sheet of paper, creating collages. That is, when playing with a child, I think - how can I make this more interesting for both of us? And I often discard those games that I’m already tired of or seem too boring.

7. I have developed the habit of constantly thanking God for every little thing. What does this have to do with self-love? This habit makes me feel good and improves my mood!

8. I constantly learn something new, participate in educational projects, read books, listen to lectures... I just really enjoy doing all this. And the results constantly please me.

9. I try to continuously improve my relationship with my husband. Because harmony in the house is very important to me (“”)

10. I often play my favorite music in the background and burn incense.
11. I find time for my hobbies. For example, this blog. In addition, I like to do some unusual creative tasks - make collages, draw something (without children), embroider... I take many tasks from the book “The Magician's Hat” by Nick Bantock - it can be downloaded on the Internet. Often, for my own pleasure, I learn new hairstyles, read beautiful books with poems, watch good movies(20 minutes at a time - as long as the children allow).

12. Even when I can’t do something special for myself, I try to enjoy the most simple situations. Enjoy communication with kids. Enjoy fresh air on a walk. Enjoy summer, delicious food, a cozy sofa, a beautiful children's book... Or just wonderful background music. After all, what is important is not what exactly we do out of love for ourselves, but how we perceive the life around us. And the best manifestation of self-love is to learn to enjoy life.

13. I try to think about myself more often and ask myself - what do I want now? This is very difficult when you have small children and a lot of important things to do. But this is the only way to become happier, calmer and more harmonious. This is the only way to be filled with love and give it to your loved ones.

I could probably make this list twice as long. I would remember something that I do once a month, once every two months... Outings to friends, good communication, body care, dancing... But I think this is not necessary. The main thing is to listen to yourself! I wish you to feel happy!

Only by knowing how to value ourselves, which we talked about just yesterday, can we truly love ourselves. You may ask:

How to differentiate between self-love and selfishness?

For many, self-love is associated with selfishness - focusing interests, thoughts, drives, and attention only on oneself. Condemnation for such an attitude towards oneself pushes a person to the other extreme - self-abasement. When he deliberately reduces his merits, significance, and dignity.

On the other hand, loving yourself does not mean praising yourself, exaggerating your strengths and hiding your shortcomings. The best thing to do is to practice self-compassion. Self-compassion is manifested in protecting yourself from negative actions that will harm, for example, your health, emotional state and a feeling of inner happiness. For example, a woman who treats herself compassionately will not eat junk food, drink excessively, or be around people who humiliate or offend her.

He who loves himself refrains himself from doing what will harm him. This can be compared to how loving parent keeps her child out of danger.

Loving yourself in the same way as loving a child does not mean coddling with yourself, but means that somewhere you can give an indulgence, somewhere you can reproach yourself, somewhere you can restrain yourself by force, and somewhere you can give free rein. Depending on the situation. However, this does not mean that you need to insult yourself, devalue yourself, humiliate yourself, morally punish yourself, etc.

What can be said about self-dislike?

“Our sore spots are sore precisely because
that no one, especially ourselves, loves them.”
J. Hollis

A sign of a lack of self-love can also be an inability to forgive. If you often indulge in sadness, this is also a hint that it’s time to pull yourself together. You can also be very intolerant of other people's mistakes. You are often driven by selfish aspirations. You shut yourself off from the world and close yourself off from communicating with people.

What is self-love?

A lack of self-love can push you to make bad decisions. A lack of self-love is often equated with low self-esteem, which leads to self-sabotage and an inability to stand up for oneself and express one's opinions. And the worst thing is that the lack of self-love makes us very dependent on the opinions of others, we are constantly looking for self-affirmation outside! And because of this, our own desires, because it is more important for us to gain approval, for example, from a manager or parents.

By ignoring ourselves and our needs, we run the risk of living a life that is not our own and not realizing our talents to please other people’s expectations. Here are just a few illustrative examples:

We scold ourselves
We treat our bodies poorly
We believe that others do not like us
We choose people who treat us badly

Let's try to understand where the barriers are that prevent self-love. Louise Hay was the first to speak loudly about self-love. This amazing woman was able to heal cancer by learning to love herself and her body. I suggest you try a few techniques taught by Louise Hay.

Make a list of 10 points: What do I owe?

Write next to each item: Why should I do this?

Cross off the list everything that is not important to you.

As you can see, loving yourself means listening to your own needs. Remember that when you say or do something out of fear of being selfish, you are not acting out of self-love!

Acting out of fear for something or someone, you automatically direct anger at yourself and very often this anger is poured out on someone else, which causes a storm of a wide variety of emotions in you.

Even if you think it's hard to act out of self-love for fear of looking selfish in the eyes of other people, you'll soon realize how healthy it is to act out of self-love instead of fear.

4 ways to develop self-love

Method 1: Set up a dialogue with your inner voice

The little playful monkey in our head does not always tell us the truth and often pushes us to take false actions. Here you need to master a certain control.

Firstly, avoid perfectionism.

Many people have a problem accepting what is imperfect. If you always strive only for high ideals and standards and punish yourself when the bar is not reached, take 3 simple steps:

Change the way you think.
Focus on the efforts made.
And take small steps towards this goal.

By directing your attention from the final goal (which you evaluate by the criterion of perfection) to specific steps (which are already more difficult to evaluate by the criterion of perfection), you will finally begin to value yourself and your work.

Secondly, set the filter to negative thoughts. Focusing on the negative is the most bad habit. This is how even the most insignificant events turn into a huge drama. Imagine your mind is a sieve. And you sift through all the negative thoughts, they just don’t get in. If you're complaining or upset about something, find something positive.

Thirdly, stop comparing yourself to others. Some achieve success, others encounter failure.

Fourth, learn to laugh at yourself. Laugh more. The more often you smile, the happier you will be. You will notice how people around you will be happier.

Fifthly, don't judge. Be kind to others.

Method 2: If I loved myself, would I do this?

I recommend one exercise by Louise Hay. It's called "Mirror Exercise". This is very good way find out what exactly is holding us back from loving ourselves. There are several ways to work with a mirror. For example, here is one of my favorites.

In the morning, the first thing you need to do is go to the mirror and say, looking at the reflection: “What can I do for you today? What will give you pleasure and benefit? And then you need to listen carefully to the answer from your inner voice.

Follow his advice throughout the day. It happens that some people cannot wait for an answer. This is due to the fact that before this they scolded themselves too much: inner voice I’m not yet used to responding to kind words, full of love. If something unpleasant happens to you during the day, go to the mirror and say: “I still love you.” All events have a beginning and an end, but your love is endless, and this is the most important thing. And if something good happens, look at your reflection in the mirror again and say: “Thank you.” Be grateful to yourself for experiencing happiness.

The following exercise can be performed every morning when you get yourself in order. Take a mirror and position yourself in front of it. Look into your eyes and say, “I love myself.” If you feel resistance, understand what exactly it is. Listen to the voice of the ego, it will tell you why you still don’t love yourself. This is your key. You will know what to work on and what complexes to overcome.

In the case of slouching, it is important not only to tell yourself “I love myself and fully accept myself,” but also to monitor your posture and head position. In the case of fears, you need to learn to overcome them, but at the same time love yourself, even now, so stooped and timid.

Love yourself now. Don't wait until things start to work out for you. Eternal dissatisfaction with yourself is just a habit. If you can be satisfied with yourself now, if you can love and approve of yourself right now, then it means that you are already ready to enjoy those good things that will become a part of your life. Once you learn to love yourself, you will be able to love and accept others.

We can't change other people, so leave them alone. Trying to change someone, we spend a lot of energy. If we spent even half of it on ourselves, we would be completely different. And of course, there would be a completely different attitude towards us.

Method 3: Do something nice for yourself

Do whatever makes you happy, physically, emotionally and spiritually. Whether it's a walk, meditation, or a gratitude journal. Find a ritual and stick to it. I'll tell you about my evening ritual. When I come home after work, I light the candles in the house, add a few drops of a pleasant aroma to the lamp and turn on relaxing music. In such an environment, I can immediately take my mind off the worries of the past day and cook delicious dinner for my husband and me.

I studied neuropsychology in some detail. Our brains are constantly making new neural connections. And very often we are exposed to old negative connections that do not bring us any benefit. To replace the old, you need to create a positive new. That's why rituals are so important. They help us form new habits of behavior that serve us well.

Play sports, take care of your body, choose healthy foods.

Spend more time with friends, devote yourself to hobbies and pleasant conversations.

Enjoy being one with yourself. Talking to yourself alone will bring many discoveries.

Read new books. It develops imagination and expands boundaries.

Travel and explore the world.

Method 4: Beauty will fill you with love

Beauty... There is so much in this word for a woman. Beauty is a source of love, inspiration and tenderness. Do you remember the words of Dostoevsky “Beauty will save the world”?

One of my friends shared a story. Since childhood, her mother kept repeating: “You cannot feed on beauty, it will not satiate you.” These words haunted and irritated my friend; she did not understand them until she finally realized that beauty was not a thing that could be mastered. It cannot be bought and consumed like a commodity. Beauty is something you just have to be.

When her mother said that you cannot rely on beauty, she meant that you cannot rely on appearance as a crutch. Our support, what makes us truly beautiful is empathy, careful attitude to ourselves and to those around us. Such beauty warms hearts and enchants souls.

You need to see confirmation of your external beauty, and this will give you confidence, but go deeper - try to be beautiful from the inside. This beauty has no shades.

Training “Awakening of the Goddess”, authored by Anna Galtseva in truth magical gift!!! All activities were imbued with love, and I looked forward to them. For me, "Awakening of the Goddess" is a fascinating journey into yourself, your feelings, emotions and shortcut to a dream (and at the same time find out if this is really my dream?) Nowadays a lot is said about what you need to love (love...

Maria

How to describe the feeling of self-love? is this possible? This is exactly what this practice gave me. I allow myself more pleasures, I judge myself less, I forgive myself more often, I feel calmer, kinder, softer, sweeter, more cheerful, lighter, more feminine. I just love myself more and my whole life is painted in different colors.

Milda

A lot of new knowledge has emerged on how to develop your femininity. Previously, I knew very little about mantras, mudras, meditations, energy practices... Anna gives a lot of material. Each of these practices in itself gives a very powerful energy filling... but the right one... not the kind that you want to go and break through walls with your forehead, but the filling with feminine energy... when you want to change the world with your beauty, smile, voice, look... you want create comfort, cook delicious food

Anna

Wonderful technique! As always at the right time and in right moment, you really are a sorceress, Anya!)) I presented all the pictures, there was a flight in time and space on my spaceship, on which I fly to the Moon)) There were 3 bright moments where I showed determination, dare...

Alina - Healing Time Lines

I would like to express my endless gratitude to Anna for her magical training, Awakening of the Goddess! This is my first training. The impressions from him exceeded all expectations!

Invaluable material, beautifully, clearly, harmoniously presented, conveyed with great love and great attention to each participant.

Changes begin to occur already during the training, you suddenly realize that you feel happier, lighter,...

Marina

Awakened... Reborn again... and what is surprising and not surprising at the same time... that she turned out to be outwardly “very simple”... very earthly... and very Woman...)) the way I now feel myself... and I was very pleased with such a “harmonious” combination external image with internal content... (such congruence)... and a feeling of fullness, calmness and confidence in a bright future, and some responsibility, realizing your Feminine purpose as a Goddess on Earth... and most importantly

Larisa

The goddess in me was nevertheless born, my life has now begun to change for the better, my dreams, some immediately, and some gradually began to come true. What a pity that I didn’t undergo such training 20 years ago, how much fuller and happier my life would have been, but even now I am very grateful to Anna for the opportunities she gave me, and now I know that everything is possible, and it’s all in my hands!

Marina

Anya! Thanks for the magical training! I was surprised by the presentation of the material and the very content of this training. It was unique! This is not my first women's training, and, unlike traditional schemes and standards, this came as a big surprise to me! The most interesting, unique...

Lyudmila

Thank you so much, Anya, for recording. This topic interested me even during a meeting with Sal Rachel. Thanks to your explanation, I finally realized what the nonlinearity of time means.))) Theoretically, I see it as a view from above, but I wanted to feel the difference... And the concept of integration was revealed more fully... And after the technique, I had a very clear feeling that I would succeed... Thank you, dear. Good luck!

Maryana - Healing Time Lines

I express my deep gratitude and deep gratitude to Anna for the training. Over the course of a month, she, sparing no time, passed on invaluable knowledge to us with patience and kindness. The Goddess lives inside every woman, but sometimes she just dozes and does not give up her power. And we were able to awaken it in ourselves! And this is true! In just a month of classes using Anna’s original methodology I am from an eternally tired emotionally and physically woman

Self-love is one of the foundations of human happiness and well-being. They write a lot about it, they talk a lot about it, a lot of people even admit how important it is to love yourself, but very few actually love themselves and accept themselves for who they are. We idolize our idols, we look at beautiful bodies models from commercials or films, we compare ourselves with them, and, by doing this, we discover our “flaws”.

We look in the mirror and realize that we are far from ideal. We look inside and come to the conclusion that we also fall short of perfection on the inside. All this causes us to make the unforgivable mistake of forgetting that, despite the shortcomings that we have in our appearance or in our soul, we still deserve our love. Moreover, we forget that our love is enough for us to feel like an important part of this world.

Self-love is usually cultivated in childhood and throughout the entire period of growing up, but, unfortunately, in many families it is not customary to cultivate self-love in children, or, more precisely, this is not given much importance. Moreover, many of our methods of education are aimed at suppressing the child’s “ego”, his “I”, which ultimately grows into a mass psychological problems in adulthood. In this article you will find many tips that will help you develop self-love at any age.

First tip: Love yourself no matter what. Even if you are sure that you have nothing to love yourself for, if you see only disadvantages in yourself, and the world around you is completely different from the place where you would like to live, continue to love yourself. Remember, as long as you exist, you can change everything - change your attitude towards yourself, change your attitude towards the world, improve the situation for the better, make the world around you friendlier. By the way, I wrote many articles about this in the “Positive Thinking” section, read it, and you will probably change your point of view about yourself.

Second tip: Give yourself a hug. This advice may seem stupid to you, but don’t rush to give it up. Of course, it's good if you have someone who could hug you, but hugs here are a little different, here we are talking specifically about your self-love. Here we are not looking for love in the outside world, so just find a secluded place and do it, believe me, nothing bad will happen from it. Right hand hug yours left shoulder, left hand - right. Hug yourself tighter, close your eyes to feel your embrace more vividly. Now you are in good hands! Tell yourself that everything will be fine and that you will take care of yourself no matter what.

Third tip: Learn to accept compliments and praise. We are all good at something, and if a compliment or praise is sincere, you should not refuse it. On the contrary, accept them with gratitude. Even if the compliment refers to your appearance, which you are endowed with from birth, accept this compliment with gratitude, because it is you who are responsible for preserving and increasing the beauty of your appearance. Say, “Thank you, it’s my pleasure,” and smile. And if it’s praise, say: “Thank you, I tried.” The main thing is to accept praise or compliments with gratitude, because you deserve it.

Fourth tip: Buy and eat quality food. True love towards yourself is reflected in real actions, and therefore, start buying quality food for your beloved body. Make your diet more varied, include more fruits and vegetables, choose only high-quality products from reliable manufacturers. And, try to completely give up fast food or at least reduce the amount of food you consume instant cooking to a minimum. Think for yourself: how can you, treating yourself with love, fill your body with food that is full of fats? fast carbohydrates and all kinds food additives and flavor enhancers? Of course not, your body needs tasty, but healthy, easily digestible food that will not decompose in your body for hours, turning it into an incubator for the growth of bacteria.

Fifth tip: Write yourself a confession letter. Seriously, why don't you write yourself a letter to your loved ones? A real letter that will come to you by mail. Write how you value this person, that is, yourself, how you love him and what a wonderful person he is, describe all his achievements that you are proud of, all his virtues that evoke a feeling of respect and love in you. “You are the most wonderful person, I love you simply because you are!” – remind yourself of this again and again, put your letter in an envelope and send it to your home address. Believe me, you will be pleased to read such kind words about yourself, even if you know that you yourself are the authors of these words.

Sixth tip: Practice meditation. Meditation is an extremely beneficial practice for anyone, so incorporating it into your daily schedule can be called an unconditional act of self-love. But, here I will talk about a special form of meditation called “Self-Love Meditation.” Your task is to, being in a relaxed and completely calm state, imagine how your body is filled with cosmic energy in the form of rays of white light, which is transformed inside you into the energy of love pink color and fills every cell of your body. The energy of love overwhelms you and begins to flow like rays and fill all the space around you. During meditation, you can repeat to yourself the formula: “Love is in me, love is everywhere, I am love, and I love myself.”

Seventh tip: Find love within yourself. Our desire to be loved is completely normal, but sometimes we are too great value We give love from outside. I mean that we begin to depend on whether other people love us or not, and if we receive love, we feel happy, and if we don’t, then, on the contrary, we feel unhappy and rejected. This is why there are so many unhappy people on earth. But why in general do you allow yourself to depend on the feelings of other people, on what is beyond your control? It shouldn't be this way! Instead of looking for love somewhere outside of yourself, find love within yourself. Love yourself simply for being you, let this article on how to love yourself help you with this. And when you do this, you will learn to accept the love of other people and let go of those who no longer feel love for you, with the same ease, because this is life, and in life everything is temporary, but despite this, life is still beautiful.

Eighth tip: Pamper yourself a little more often. If you have forgotten when you did something nice for yourself, then you should definitely reconsider your attitude towards yourself and start pampering yourself from time to time with something that you like, but that you cannot afford for some reason, for example due to financial difficulties or diet. Although, not everything that can bring you joy requires big money, and what you limit yourself to, you don’t need to exclude completely. If you like ice cream, buy it on a day off, like foreign fruits - have a fruit holiday, like a tan on your body - go to the solarium, like a massage, invite a massage therapist, there are thousands of ways to please yourself, so why don’t you start doing this time from time? This will be one of the main manifestations of self-love, for which your body, your mind and your soul will thank you with great health.

Ninth tip: Make friends with yourself. Be your own person best friend of all that there can be, and treat yourself accordingly. So, never allow yourself to belittle your own abilities and berate yourself for failures. Instead, always tell yourself only how great you are and how much you can achieve if you just try harder. When faced with failure, tell yourself that you did everything you could and that it is completely normal to fail, the main thing is that you keep going no matter what, and that next time you will definitely succeed. Support yourself kind words always when necessary and even when there is no reason for it.

Tenth tip: Increase your level of awareness. Many people in our world live automatically, following external influences and internal impulses, often without thinking about where they want to go and what their actions lead to. But this approach is very far from self-love. If you love yourself, you should wish only good things for yourself and strive to fulfill your desires, which means that you simply need to imagine what you want, be fully aware of what you are doing at one time or another, and understand what it means leads. Awareness is one of the most important conditions for self-love, since this is the only way you can ensure your health and safety, as well as create the kind of world around you in which you would like to live.

Eleventh tip: Stop being jealous. At the very least, stop constantly thinking that the person you love might cheat on you. In small doses, jealousy may even be necessary, it revives feelings, makes you cherish love, but jealousy must be under control. Never allow yourself to think that someone may be better than you and that your husband or wife will choose another person over you. Remember, you cannot be worse, just as you cannot be better. You are you, in a single copy, in the whole Universe there is no other one like you special person like you. Therefore, if the person you love prefers someone else, then this is his problem, but you should not constantly think about it. Instead of jealousy, focus your energy on what makes you better than you already are - not better than someone else, but better than yourself.

Tip twelve: Accept your body. Go to the mirror and look at yourself, do you like what you see or do you dislike what you see? appearance? Answer this question honestly. If you don't like the way your body looks, you just need to change the way you feel about it. I do not encourage you to love your body as it is, but you should love your body in general, as an important part of your “I”. If you don't like the way it looks, you may still want to change for the better, if that's possible. If you don’t like something that you cannot change, for example, some hereditary features of appearance, then you must learn to accept yourself as you are. There is no point in treating your shortcomings badly, because this way you create additional obstacles to your happiness; it is best if you accept your body as it is, with all its pros and cons. And if at the same time you want and can change something, then do it; if it is impossible to change something, just come to terms with it and learn to accept it with love.

Thirteenth tip: Give yourself one day a week. Just one day a week, in which you will be free to do whatever you want, within reason, of course. On this day you are not required to do anything you don't like. You can lie on the couch all day and watch TV if you want, however, you will most likely get tired of it quickly, because your time can be spent much more wisely. For example, you can go out of town with your family, have a picnic, go fishing, or take a walk around the city, go to the cinema, opera house, to a museum, anywhere where you will have fun, interesting, and where you will feel more than just good.

Tip fourteen: Set boundaries. Never try to please everyone and never do anything you don't want to do if you can refuse to do it. Learn to clearly and confidently say “No” to requests that you are not obligated to comply with and that may inconvenience you or make you feel less than you are. When interacting with other people, stop them if they are overindulging, and let them know that if they want to communicate with you, they must respect some of the boundaries that you set. Don’t let anyone cross these boundaries, even those closest to you, unless, of course, it’s about constructive criticism, which you, as a person who loves yourself, sometimes just need to hear.

Tip fifteen: Change your attitude towards your loved ones. Remember: first you, then your loved one. You must always come first, because without you nothing else makes sense. Therefore, do not do anything that infringes on your rights, and also do not sacrifice your happiness to please your partner, no matter how much you love him. In love, as in other relationships, equality must be observed, and if you are inclined to self-sacrifice, as one of the forms of love for loved ones, then try not to cross your own boundaries, beyond which you infringe on your own freedom and lose yourself.

Sixteenth tip: Make a gratitude list. It is very difficult to love yourself if you are not grateful for what you have. Therefore, I suggest that you do not hesitate and make your own gratitude list, in which you should include everything that you think is good about you, as well as what you do not consider a gift, but which is a blessing by definition. Believe me, you have a lot of things for which you should be grateful in life, just the opportunity to live, feel, experience joy and sadness, go through difficult times and strive for your goal no matter what. Make as many as possible full list gratitude and turn to it from time to time to remind yourself of what you have to be grateful for in life.

Seventeenth tip: Train your body. Lack of physical activity weakens your immune system and makes you less resistant to diseases. unfavorable conditions environment. Physical activity, including daily exercise - this is one of the main conditions physical health. It would be strange to hear about self-love from a person who does not care about the health of their body and neglects themselves, not paying attention to how gradually their forms become more and more full. But self-love should be expressed not only in words, but also in actions. And if you support your physical fitness, then this is definitely one of the main manifestations of self-love.

Eighteenth tip: Take a look at yours positive aspects. Your positive aspects are what you should pay attention to first, and your shortcomings, if they cannot be changed, you should leave alone. If necessary, create a list of all your strengths so that you always remember that you have them, and that their presence makes the presence of shortcomings insignificant. Your positive sides are only part of you, and even if they are few, you can always add to the list. Work on your strengths, develop them, make them stronger, and this will definitely help you love yourself with more sincerity.

Nineteenth tip: A little more spontaneity. We are people, and a lifestyle in which we would always follow some kind of plan is not entirely suitable for us. We crave emotions, feelings, new sensations, and a life planned to the smallest detail is too boring and monotonous. Instead, allow yourself a little more spontaneity than usual: you have a crazy idea to go out of town for the weekend - cancel all plans and get ready for a vacation. Don't live a boring life, your mind and your body require a vibrant life, and if you cannot afford to live vibrantly all the time, then please yourself at least from time to time by incorporating a little more spontaneity into your life.

Tip 20: Stop feeling sorry for yourself. Feeling sorry for yourself is the last thing you should do, but it certainly shouldn't because feeling sorry for yourself robs you of the power you could use to change things for the better. “Oh, poor me, poor thing, why am I so unlucky in life,” you say to yourself, but I convincingly ask you: you shouldn’t do that, it’s better to pay attention to the roots of the problems, study the problem and ways to solve it, and start changing the situation for the better. Day after day, step by step, making even small but regular efforts, you will be able to achieve results that you could not even dream of before.

Tip twenty one: Be good people. Is it possible not to love the world, but at the same time love yourself? I think if you love yourself, it's easier for you to find something to love in the world around you. For example, you can love life in all its manifestations, and you can express love for yourself through showing love to the world around you. Think about how you can do at least a little better world around you? What specific steps in the form of good deeds could you take to bring joy to someone, to make other people’s lives a little happier, because when other people are happy, it is much easier for you to become happier too. About how to become good person We have already spoken on the pages of our website, and therefore you can find some ideas for yourself here.

Twenty-second tip: Get rid of what is holding you back. Get rid of all the accumulated junk in your home, and most importantly, in your head. By clutter in your head, I mean a load of accumulated grievances, disappointments, memories of bad things that could once happen in your life, as well as everything that prevents you from building a wonderful future. By clutter in the house, I mean really old things, some of which you may be keeping because of nostalgic feelings that take you back to the past. Get rid of that junk you've cluttered up in your attic, in the dubious hope that it might come in handy one day. Getting rid of things that have no real value to you personally will allow you to make room in your life for new things.

Twenty-third tip: Value yourself. For your work, for your desire to achieve goals, for your love and care for loved ones, simply for the fact that, despite difficulties, you continue to move forward, value yourself. And simply for the fact that you exist, value yourself and treat yourself with great warmth, take care of yourself, and never allow anyone, not even yourself, to plant the idea in your head that you are unworthy of something. You are more than worthy, you are more than valuable, you are unique and you should treat yourself with love. Stop doing favors for everyone, and believe me, you will be valued more if you value yourself and your personal time. As often as possible, tell yourself that you are great or smart, tell yourself how well you worked, praise and reward yourself for your work, even if it’s just household chores.

Tip twenty four: Get rid of stress. Don't let stress hormones build up in your body and cause negative impact for your health. Give yourself a regular break from everything that makes you feel stressed, do something that helps you relax and take your mind off troubles, problems, yesterday's quarrel at work, a reprimand from your boss, and so on. And, of course, if you want stress to have less impact on you, you need to learn how to manage stress. If you develop skills for quickly releasing stress and resilience to stress factors, then this will definitely be one of the surest signs of self-love.

Twenty-fifth tip: Get rid of perfectionism. Many people in our world are familiar from their own example with what perfectionism is, and it greatly prevents a person from loving himself for who he is. Perfectionists constantly strive to become better and do something better. in the best possible way, they are very often unhappy with the way they look, the way they dress, and the way they do work, and they regularly raise the bar without even thinking about stopping. No, perfectionism is not completely bad, as you may think now, but this quality should be moderate. It is important to understand that perfection is unattainable on its own, and we do not have to do something ourselves in an ideal way, it is enough to do the best of what we are capable of at the moment, and learn to accept ourselves as we are.

Twenty-sixth tip: Dream and realize your dreams. This is probably the best thing you can do for yourself - dream and make your dreams come true. After all, each of us has our own dreams, secret desires that we dream about from time to time, sometimes without even thinking that they will ever come true. Often, a lack of faith in one’s abilities or the pressure of circumstances becomes an obstacle, but nothing is impossible. Of course, some extreme dreams will have to be made a little more realistic, but their implementation will not bring you any benefit. less joy. Just make your dream a goal, make a plan to achieve it, and step by step move closer to your goal.

There are many ways to show yourself love, and they all require attention and care for yourself. Loving yourself means allowing yourself to live the life you want to live, putting in the maximum effort necessary. I hope that the tips presented in this article on how to love yourself will help you feel like you are a truly important part of this world, which will certainly help you make your life and the lives of those around you better. Good luck and all the best to you!

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