What to say to a friend when he feels bad. Condolences on the death of mother and grandmother

I think there are several reasons why your support methods are not working. I'll tell you about them. I stepped on all these rake myself. As a result, it turns out that there is a very simple principles that are worth following. We will talk about strong experiences and everyday support. As a result, you will learn to support even people you barely know with just a few phrases.

Why is this important, why even understand how to support a person in difficult times?

It’s just that if you manage to really help, the person will remember you as a true friend. I can give two very striking examples for me. Although from the outside they may seem very simple.

I have a friend who you can call at three in the morning. With any bullshit (sorry, there’s no other way to say it). Horrible dream, bad news, broken heart, nervous about something. You can just pick it up and call. And it's mutual. No, we first write an SMS:“Can I call now?”and then having received an unequivocal “yes, of course,” we call each other. It seems to me that the need for this appears approximately once every two years, hardly more often. But it's priceless. The one who listens usually doesn't do anything magical. He is simply ready to listen and use the right words to remind you that not everything is bad. Then you can calmly go to sleep: you don’t want to cry anymore after you’ve drunk.

And there is another friend. I once called her when my back hurt very badly and I needed to get to the clinic. I had a boyfriend, but I wasn’t ready to ask him to come home from work for this. He gave the go-ahead for me to take a taxi and told me to call if anything happened. And in theory, this was a completely feasible task for me. Except for a couple of very awkward nuances for me. I couldn't tie my shoelaces. (And for some reason this is even more important to me than being able to go to the toilet on my own). And I was afraid that something unpleasant would happen during the trip, even though there were no prerequisites for this. It's just scary that's all. At that moment, both of these reasons seemed shameful to me.

It's more than embarrassing to bother someone for such bullshit. So it seemed to me. But I called this friend of mine. I knew for sure that I would call her. Why exactly to her - I don’t know. She didn’t have to explain about the laces, or the pain, or anything. She just said she would come. And then everything was fine. I wasn't alone. She, of course, hardly remembers this incident. But for me, she remains the very person you can call to tie your shoelaces, simply because you need it. It is clear that for her sake I am ready to come anywhere.

Do you agree that being able to support on time and be there on time is something very important? If yes, like it and let's try to figure out what the magic is.

So, how to support a loved one? What conclusions would you draw from these stories?

So why don’t the usual ones work:

“Oh yeah, don’t worry. Let's go have a drink. Let's watch a movie. Why are you so upset? Yes, everything will be fine! Well, if I were you, I would do this, this and that!”

1) It is important to join the person, and not try to knock him out of his sad state.At the very least, it is always important to start with connection, real CO-FEELING. It is important to plunge into the same story for a while. Because there is something very important in it for you loved one. Otherwise... if it didn't affect anything important... He himself wouldn't worry so much. And if you immediately say, “Oh, forget it,” a person may unconsciously read into this: “your values ​​and your experiences are bullshit!” But it's difficult. This about , about intimacy. If you do this sincerely, you will actually feel a little uncomfortable.

2) Why don’t advice help, and sometimes even have the opposite effect? What are the right words to support someone? I remember this once and for all from the second course after one of the psychological groups. We sorted out the request of one of the participants. In the end they give him everything in a circle feedback, support. Naturally there is a lot of advice. And finally, the “hero of the day” himself shares his final impressions. So here’s a common story: “It seems to me that I’m a complete fool. You offer such sensible things, tell how you successfully got out of such stories. I’m starting to feel like I’m the only such loser.” It's paradoxical - but it's frequent effect. One SINCERELY tries to support by telling his, and those who listen only become sadder for themselves. How to choose words of support?

• You can talk about your feelings and your attitude: “I'm worried about you. I'm sad to hear this too. I’m also a little confused when you told me everything in detail.”
• You can also use words to make it clear that you are ready to just be there, no matter what happens. "I'm with you". I remember my dad once at a difficult moment family history said, “No matter what, you are my daughter and always will be, and I love you.” Then these were the very words that calmed me down very much.
• You can talk about your similar BAD EXPERIENCE, about their similar “wrong” experiences. After all, during periods of difficulty, we often feel that we are somehow not very good... Hearing that you are not the only such idiot can be very valuable.
• Advice helps when a person feels better, when he is heard, when he has some strength to do something. This can be seen from him if you look closely. His face changes. Well, advice is good when it’s neutral ideas, like a tool. What to do with these tools, when and which one to use, is up to the individual to decide. And again, it’s good when the advice is just part of your story, which he can listen to if he wants, and not doing good to the subject.

3) Distract - good way, when both are already tired of crying.Smiley. It is impossible to talk for too long about important difficult topics. Joking, being ironic and being distracted by something is also very important. Good psychologists By the way, a lot of wisecracks will be made during consultations. And that's spot on. And it's very funny. But you need to correctly sense the moment when it really matters, when you need to turn down the heat a little.And for this it is important to be a lively, interesting, enthusiastic person yourself.Otherwise, there is no way to pull the other one out of the quagmire. Otherwise, looking at you and your equally sad and compassionate look, he simply will not believe you that “everything will be fine.”

4) Even if he is sad, he is not a fool.For some reason, there is a myth that if a person is sad or bad, then he cannot cope. This means he needs to give a whole bunch of advice. But no, this is not always the case. Almost all of us, even in very difficult periods of life, have in our heads an approximate plan of action or options for what to do. We just doubt, worry, are temporarily confused or very tired. Believe me. I've worked with hundreds of people. Everyone always has at least some plan of action. Especially if you support the person, listen to him, calm him down a little - the answer to the question “what do you think you should do about it?” no, no, yes there will be.The main thing is to have time to ask this question BEFOREhis lecture on how to live.

5) Follow the clues.A person in need of help almost always makes it clear in one way or another that he can help him now. Non-verbal. Maybe he is cold, maybe he wants to philosophize and needs a listener, maybe he wants to take a walk or just be alone for a while. Or be with you, but remain silent. Don't be afraid to just BE CLOSE to a person who is feeling bad. Just being close to someone who is crying. There is no urgent need to change anything. You are not an emergency room doctor on duty. You don't have any super responsibility. Just sit next to each other in the same puddle. Helping people sometimes get carried away with THEMSELVES, what advice they know, what books they read, what mom said, what they write on the Internet... the anxiety from the need to save the one who shed a tear at all costs is so overwhelming that you have the strength to JUST PAY ATTENTION for the one who is sad there is no longer enough.

6) Ask: “How can I help you?”. Yes, everything ingenious is simple. But the trick is that when you ask this question, you don’t need to offer options. You need to do a very difficult thing: be silent. Just be quiet and listen to what the person has to say. If he says: “I don’t know,” you can ask: “Just think about it!..” If he says again: “I don’t know,” say, “Please, when you come up with an idea, let me know, okay?” - and stay calm for another minute, silently nearby.

7) How to support your loved one in normal everyday activities?Firstly, all the tips listed above work. Just a lower degree of drink. About that, I already wrote. And besides all this, it helps to know in detail how he is doing. What is going on with a person, what are his plans, difficulties, doubts, desires, dreams? What does he think is stopping him? What does he see that could help him? What does he think he can do? This helps a lot. Although by and large it's pretty simple.

This is a story about love. All this requires courage. What other courage is there, what is frightening about this? It requires a willingness to be truly close to someone.

Write your stories of true support and your advice on this topic in the comments below.
Your family psychologist, Elena Zaitova.

How to support someone when a loved one dies. What to say, words of support, how to support relatives and friends.
Tactfully expressing condolences for the loss of a loved one is always an extremely difficult task. It is aggravated by the fact that we often do not try to look at loss through the eyes of the bereaved person.

A person tends to analyze the world solely based on the point of view of their system of concepts and values, completely forgetting that all people are different, everyone has their own individual set of tools for cognition, analysis and reactions to the surrounding reality.

This sometimes leads to sincere bewilderment:

• Why doesn’t the interlocutor draw what seems to be the only correct conclusion from the corresponding premises? I made exactly this conclusion. Why did he, following my train of thought, come to such an unpredictable destination? I sincerely wanted to console him! And in the end I was even more upset.

The reason is that we are in Once again We did not take into account the specific worldview of the person who needs our help.

• People are believers;
• And people are non-believers.

Believers, in turn, are divided into many categories depending on who or what they believe in.

The non-believers are united in their mass. The boundaries between these two groups are sometimes quite fluid and tend to be successfully leveled, especially in such turning points our life: a person either begins to believe in the existence the afterlife and a completely different reality, or he finally despairs, seeing death with his own eyes, and loses faith. And then he becomes an ardent atheist.

Of course, it is much more productive to sympathize with a believer than to sympathize with a materialist convinced to the core. Words spoken correctly and at the right time are like grains that will fall into fertile soil and sprout. And if, in addition, the sympathizer is also a believer, the chances are that these people will find mutual language and come to the same denominator, they increase many times.

An example of the warm support that is so necessary in this tragic situation is the following words:

“Look at death through the eyes of the deceased: there is a high probability that he is now in another world. In a much better world. Our disfigured, cruel and unfair reality has forever become a thing of the past for the deceased.

If, as a result, his soul ended up not with God, but on the threshold of other spheres, you have a real opportunity to influence the posthumous fate of your loved one through fervent prayer and alms in the name of the departed person. Do exactly this, grief and despondency will only hinder you in this active love. And love, by definition, must only be active.

Don't think only about yourself. Yes, it hurts you that he is not around. That you can’t talk to him, hug him... But this is by no means forever! Death is only a temporary separation. The time will come, and by God’s grace you will definitely meet there, beyond that line. It is important to prepare as much as possible for this meeting. Both you, having succeeded in personal improvement, and the one who died through your own prayer for him, for he is no longer able to help himself.

Do you see how much depends on you? What huge responsibility do you have? Therefore, ask the Lord to give you strength, pull yourself together and prepare for the inevitable and desired meeting.

In addition, they say that the Lord takes a person at the most optimal moment for his eternal soul. Either a person has already achieved his destiny and is ripe for the Kingdom of Heaven, or his continued stay in this world would only aggravate his situation through the inevitable commission of sins in the future.

In the latter case, what is needed is prayer and alms from family and friends, and all this is in your own power. Pray and help the poor to save someone dear to you, and do not become discouraged and give up. Imagine that his happiness is in your hands. Don’t put them down, because if you drop this happiness, it will break into thousands and thousands of small sparkling fragments.”

Thus, even if we evaluate the mournful situation not from the position of the existence or absence of the afterlife, active activity can, to one degree or another, neutralize the pain and bitterness of loss. This is a simple law of psychology. In order not to think about the pink elephant, you need to think about the green elephant. And thinking while “doing” is much more productive.

The words of Archpriest Alexei Uminsky are very appropriate in the context of the topic under consideration:

« A person who experiences this moment and who really finds an answer from God, he becomes so smart and experienced that no one can give him any advice. He already knows everything. He doesn’t need to say anything, he knows everything himself. Therefore, this person does not need advice. It’s hard for those people who at such a moment do not want to listen to God and are looking for explanations, accusations, and self-accusation. And then it's hard because it's suicide. It is impossible to console a person who is not consoled by God.”

Priests are often the last to see someone off to another life, and the pain of loss and grief of loved ones is directly related to their service. Therefore, the above words are very, very worthy of attention.

In that case, if death touched non-believers, talking from a purely materialistic perspective will help reduce the pain of loss (which, with correct reasoning, will inevitably lead in the future to the only correct conclusion about the existence of another reality. But that will happen later. Now it is important to lay the right foundation for the implementation of this process). You can start it like this.

“Look at the amazing organization of the world around us. How much is still unknown, unexplored! The more discoveries he makes modern science, the more new and new questions arise before her. What is the probability that there is still something beyond death? We, in the age of the dizzying development of digital technologies and the conquest of space, still do not know whether there is life in the actually existing star systems closest to us.

• What can we say about parallel worlds, permissibly located in the coordinate system of our planet?
• How can one say with 100% certainty that these measures do not exist?
• How, for example, does science explain the boundlessness of the universe?
• There must be boundaries in any case. And if they exist, then what is beyond these boundaries? And where do the limits of these limits rest? How to understand and realize the beginninglessness and infinity of time?

On modern level development of the human brain, it is impossible in principle to realize and understand this. We need a different kind of brain. How, without having answers to such elementary questions, without the possibility of realizing the givenness of infinity and the beginninglessness of time and space, How can one categorically assert that there is no other life after death? »

In this case, various analogies can also come to the rescue. For example:

• A seed planted in the ground seemingly dies and is destroyed. But at the same time it sprouts, and with it new uniform of its existence, which subsequently blossoms into a spreading tree, bursting with life.
• Or a caterpillar that seems to die, but in fact becomes a beautiful butterfly.

The materialist knows that a number of unshakable laws operate in the surrounding world, through which the elements of this world are very closely intertwined with each other. Therefore, such an associative series may well help to look at the loss of a loved one with completely different eyes.

Extremely important along with the selection the right words, contributing to a minimally painful perception of the very fact of what happened, is empathy and offering one’s help (both moral in the broadest sense of the word) and material.

Empathy, purely mathematically, helps to reduce the degree of pain experienced: dividing the severity of the loss by the number of sympathizing subjects inevitably somewhat reduces the concentration of all current negativity.

In the context of such a sad event for a loving heart, it is extremely important to know what should not be said under any circumstances. In order not to hurt the person experiencing loss, You should try to avoid common mistakes as much as possible.

Words like “think about yourself,” “you’ll find someone else,” and “be glad you’re still alive.” are categorically unacceptable, since, by verbally devaluing the loss, they first of all bring to a loving person only pain.

You cannot condemn the deceased with phrases like “he walked towards this confidently”, “the end was easily predictable” and “he didn’t have to do this and that.”

Death eliminates all the mistakes of the deceased, and the spoken words will only cause pain and anger in the hearts of loved ones. There is an opinion that the words:

• “There are many people in the world who are having a much harder time right now.”

Although they may correspond to the truth, they are unlikely to console a grieving person. In any case, there are big risks here, and in the first stages, especially knowing the person poorly, it is better to avoid such “consolation”.

Thus, helping a person experiencing loss should have an individual approach in all cases. All people are different, all people have their own specifics. Somewhere some words are appropriate, and somewhere slightly different. At least in the initial stages. But the principles of constructive verbal influence on the emotional state of a grieving person are the same in the vast majority of cases. That's what they are principles for.

And one last thing.

It is extremely necessary to always keep in mind: in many situations, it is important not so much what exactly, when and how much to say, but simply to initially listen and then just as simply listen to the grieving person.

Topic of the section: How and with what words to support a person, relative, loved one, friend, in difficult times during the death of a loved one, words of support in difficult times. Supporters, meaningful words when a loved one dies.
Read also:

What to do when the mood is at zero... when you give up... when you don’t see where to go, and you want to give up everything... once and for all.

Know that even at this moment you are NOT ALONE. There are MANY people like you. There really are a LOT of us already!

So different, so different... and yet I = YOU. YOU = ME.

We offer you 20 quotes famous people as support and inspiration on your journey! YOU ARE NOT ALONE!

1. “If you are always in a hurry, you may miss a miracle.” Lewis Carroll

2. “Believe in the fact that there is something to live for, and your faith will help this fact come true.” William James

3. “To reach the goal, you must first go.” Honore de Balzac

4. “The biggest mistake you can make in life is to be constantly afraid of being wrong.” Elbert Hubbard

5. “What is the purpose of man? Be him." Stanislav Lec

6. “Knowledge is a treasure, but the key to it is practice.” Fuller Thomas

7. “Life is not suffering. It’s just you suffering from it, instead of living and enjoying it.” Dan Millman

8. “The fate of a person who sits still does not move.” Philip Farmer

9. “There is no point in looking for a place where you will feel good. It makes sense to learn how to create this well anywhere..."

10. “You cannot change the direction of the wind, but you can always raise the sails to achieve your goal.” Oscar Wilde

11. “When you feel very bad, raise your head. You will definitely see sunlight.» Drew Barrymore

12. “While we pedal and steer towards our goal, it is important not to forget about the beauty that opens before us every day.” Paulo Coelho

13. “Life is beautiful when you create it yourself.” Sophie Marceau

14. “When you really want something, the whole Universe will help make your wish come true.” Paulo Coelho

15. “Forgiveness does not change the past, but it frees the future.”

16. “This world is like an echo in the mountains: if we give up anger, anger returns; if we give love, love comes back.” Osho

17. “Most people are only as happy as they decide to be.” Abraham Lincoln

18. “You can only see what you believe. Believe it and you will see.” Wayne Dyer

19. “You won’t see the most important thing; Only the heart is vigilant." Antois De Saint Exupéry

20. “The goal of every person’s life is to become as happy as possible. Happiness is the goal to which all other goals come down. » Deepak Chopra

Many thanks to my VKontakte administrator Natalya Bukhovtseva for such a wonderful selection of quotes!

Here is a collection of short condolences and words of grief that need to be expressed to the family and friends of the deceased person. The texts are suitable for being included in public, spoken in private, or sent in the form of a short letter. They are also suitable for colleagues, friends and other people familiar with the deceased. All texts are written not in verse (in prose), for those who want to express regret in their own words. You will find recommendations at the end of the page.

All names and surnames in the texts are used only for convenience of presentation, do not forget to change them to the ones you need.

My condolences to you and your family. Your mom was wonderful wonderful person and you will miss her. I wish you to find peace and consolation... We will pray for you.

Friends, we sympathize with your loss and mourn with you. There are no words that will bring your loved one back to you, but perhaps life itself will help you survive the loss. We will pray that the Lord will give you patience and strength. Your dad lived well, for a long time, accomplished a lot, realized himself and left behind many people grateful to him. He will forever live in their hearts just as he does in yours. May his memory be blessed.

Friends, today is a day of deep sadness. There was a time when we rejoiced and had fun with the one who left us. But today we mourn with you, seeing off last way a person close and dear to us. But we will keep in our hearts the good memory of our friend.

I knew him as an amazingly sympathetic, intelligent person and an extraordinary person. He helped not only me, but also served as a guide and support for many other people. life path. May you be at least a little consoled by the fact that today many are grieving with you who were also left without this ray of light in their lives. You are not alone in this difficult time. We mourn with you.

Let me offer you my deepest condolences. I am terribly saddened by the death of your mother. She was a smart, kind and sensitive person, and many people, like me, feel that the world is a darker place without her. I have no words to ease your pain. I'm just sure that your mother wouldn't want you to be so sad.

Please accept the feelings of our deep empathy in connection with the passing of the closest, the most loved one, a faithful companion in life. Great loss and great sorrow. Be strong, our dears, we are always with you.

Together with you, we will forever cherish the memory of her in our hearts. She was an amazingly pure, honest, open person, and this earned her the love, appreciation, gratitude and respect of many people. Your mother is the best of people. We will forever keep her memory in our hearts. Hang in there and accept our deepest sympathy for such a bereavement.

Dear Tatyana!

Please accept our condolences on the death of your father! Words are powerless in such grief... Know that in this difficult time your colleagues, friends and like-minded people are with you.

Dear Svetlana and Sidor!

We deeply regret the death of your dear grandmother. She was kind, sympathetic and a good woman. We will all miss her greatly. Please accept our sincere condolences. If there is anything we can do for you, we are ready to help in any way. We are praying for you.

We suffered this heavy loss together with you today and mourn with you. Strength and patience to you to get through this difficult time of loss. Remember, everyone loses a loved one one day, this pain must be endured. Sometimes the cross becomes very heavy, but it will help one day. Be patient, it will get easier after a while. Our condolences.

I sympathize with your misfortune on this sad day. Our life, unfortunately, is not eternal and no words of consolation will help relieve the pain of loss or bring back the departed. I wish you strength of spirit in this difficult time. May the earth be soft rest to him (the deceased). And may the Lord protect you from all troubles.

Your dad was one of the most wonderful and wonderful people I have ever met. I was very lucky to have known him. And now I will miss him greatly, just like you. I express my deepest condolences to you and your family.

Let me offer you my deepest condolences on the death of your colleague and dear friend Kharitonov Khariton. We deeply empathize and share your pain.

It’s hard for us, but especially for you, and we know about it. He was your closest friend, it's a huge loss. Your friend was an excellent comrade for us too, reliable, loyal, simple and always fair. Please contact us at any time with any requests, we will be there for you. Let's stick together during this difficult time.

Please accept my condolences on the death of your dear, close and beloved person - your mother. Having gone to heaven, she will not cease to be your guardian angel.

He meant a lot to you and to me. I mourn with you.

We express our sincere condolences to the family and friends in connection with the untimely death of Sidor Sidorovich Sidorov. The death of a loved one is great sorrow And ordeal. Bright memories of a person who lived his life honestly and with dignity, leaving behind the fruits of his good deeds, will always be stronger than death.

With sincere sympathy, the team of Peace to Your Home LLC

We share with you the bitterness of loss. Your father was a wonderful man. His dedication to his work earned him the respect and love of all who knew him. Please accept our sincere condolences.

I mourn with you and express my deepest condolences to all your family, my friend.

Our condolences to you. He was our colleague, friend and brilliant professional, without whom our entire team would have a hard time. We are experiencing this difficult loss together with you. He will serve as a light and guide for us. professional path. May his memory be blessed.

I offer you and your family my most sincere condolences. Be strong. May God rest her soul...

Please accept my sincere condolences on the death of your uncle. And please don't hesitate to ask for any help.

Losing a father is a difficult loss. Be strong. He was my close friend and often told me that he tried to raise you wise and strong, and would not want you to lose ground even when he leaves you forever. And also, he wanted you to be able to survive losses and not forget how to smile after them. Therefore, I wish you strength and patience to get through this sorrowful time and move on again.

My condolences. The death of a spouse deprives us of our main support and our partner in life. It is very difficult to find words of consolation. Hang in there.

Dear friend. Losing a mother is the most difficult loss. This pain is hard to cope with and it is impossible for me to find words that will reduce your pain. I will just be there in your grief, contact me at any moment on any issue. And just wait. Time should help at least a little.

Please accept our sincere condolences. May the Lord reward her in heaven for all the good she has done. She is and will forever remain in our hearts...

Today you lost your mother - a reliable guardian angel in life. This is a terrible loss. And I lost it in her face best friend and support. I mourn with you. Your mother often told me how much she loves it when you smile. I’m sure she sees us now and is very sad that you are so sad. May the Lord give you strength to survive such a loss and return you to the joy of life. They say he gives difficult trials along with the strength to survive them. Be patient.

Please accept my sympathy. It has never been more expensive or closer, and probably never will be. But in yours and in our hearts he will remain a young, strong, intelligent, kind and cheerful person. Eternal memory to him. Hold on.

This tragedy affected everyone who knew her. Of course, it’s harder for you than everyone else. I want to assure you that I will never leave you without support. And I will never forget her. Please, let's walk this path together.

This is a difficult time in your life. Let our sympathy and support help you and reduce the pain of loss at least a little.

It is difficult to express in words how much good he did to me. All our disputes and disagreements are trifles. And I will carry the good he did throughout my life. I pray for him and grieve with you.

My condolences to you, this is a huge loss and grief. Remember that a person dies, but love does not. And her memory will always illuminate our hearts. Be strong.

Unfortunately, in our imperfect world we have to endure such grief. She was a bright person whom we loved. I will not leave you in your grief. You can count on me at any moment.

Words cannot express how we feel together with you. It’s hard when you lose loved ones, but the death of a mother is a grief for which there is no cure or words of consolation. Please accept my sincere condolences for your loss.

I would like to find words to relieve you of pain or at least reduce it a little. But it is difficult to imagine what words these should be and whether such words exist at all. Bright and eternal memory.

I share with you the inconsolable pain of the bereavement that befell you - the death of your beloved grandfather.

May the Lord bless and comfort you and your family during this difficult time of grief. Please accept our sincere condolences.

The death of a beloved wife is a bitter loss. It’s hard for me to express in words, but I am always with you. I will support you and help you get through it. Be strong.

Please accept our heartfelt condolences on the death of your son. We ask the Almighty to grant you the strength to hold on, patience, perseverance and faith.

The loss of a loved one is a huge grief and test. I sincerely share your pain. Please accept my sincere sympathy and support. May God rest his soul.

It is very sad to lose your loved ones and relatives. It’s doubly worse when the young, healthy, and strong leave us. Lord help his soul.

I'm sorry that she didn't live as long as she would have liked. I mourn with you, empathize, remember and love.

I share your grief of loss. You need to find the strength to survive these most difficult moments and difficult days. He remains in our memory forever.

Lord give you strength, patience and faith, dear friend. Survive it all.

We are deeply saddened by the news of your father's death. He was fair and strong man, a loyal and sympathetic friend. We knew him well and loved him like family. We mourn with you.

Difficult to pick Right words in this difficult moment. I mourn with you. Let the fact that few are lucky enough to experience such a huge and pure love as yours. But let him remain alive in your memory, full of love and strength. May he rest in peace.

I'm just devastated by the loss. It's unbearable to think about it. It's hard to express in words how much I sympathize with you. My heart is broken along with yours. Be strong.

I cannot say any words of sympathy now, because no one is experiencing your grief the same way as you. You just need time... be patient, it will gradually reduce the pain.

Unfortunately, I only now realized how unworthy my arguments and quarrels were with this bright and dear person to me. Excuse me! I mourn with you.

A person who leaves this earth does not really go anywhere because he still continues to live in our hearts and minds. Please accept our condolences and know that he will not be forgotten.

I offer you and your family my most sincere condolences. It’s very difficult, even when you prepare for it, at the last moment you find yourself unprepared. May God rest his soul... and you, hold on. Time will help you...

Please accept my sincere condolences. A terrible, insidious disease that they have never learned how to defeat...

Her path on earth was not easy and full of difficulties, may God take her under his wing and reward her with what she rightfully deserves.

rose in the sky new star- it was his soul that found new meaning and a new purpose...

It's small consolation, but know that we are with you in your grief and our hearts go out to your entire family. Eternal memory to your sister.

Your father was a very resilient, joyful and optimistic person. His wisdom will remain in my memory forever; it will be difficult for me without him. But it’s more difficult for you. Losing your dad is like losing your footing. There are hardly any words that will ease the pain. Try to remember your father's resilience and be the same, he would really like it. I will ask higher power protect you from all troubles and that you find consolation. I'm grieving.

Administration team Central region The Troekurovsky village council deeply mourns the irreparable bereavement - the death of the acting village head, Isaakiya Kharitonovich Tiranozavrov. We express our sincere condolences to family and friends, share their grief, and support them in their hours of grief.

Be strong! With the loss of your brother, you need to become a support for your parents for both of them. May God help you get through these difficult days. Happy memory to a bright man.

Dear Sidor Sidorovich, Tatyana Appolinarievna and Oscar Platonovich!

On behalf of the board of the open joint stock company“Kuzka’s mother” and on my own behalf I express my deep condolences and sincere sympathy with the grief that befell you - the untimely death of your father and brother Zakhar Appolonovich Sidorov.

At this difficult time for you, your family and friends, I share your grief and the bitterness of irreparable loss.

Be strong. The Almighty called him to himself - he takes the best. I mourn with you.

My condolences to you. Losing your grandmother is like losing a piece of sunshine in your soul. I will always cherish her memory in my heart. I pray that God will give you warmth and light in your heart, which will help you overcome the pain of loss and find comfort. Peace to her soul, and peace to your heart.

We are very sad about the death dear brother and from the bottom of our hearts we express our sincere sympathy and condolences to his dear wife and all his family and friends. We pray for God's support for all of you, dear ones.

We believe that by God's will we will meet brother Sidor in the future paradise that the Lord has prepared for all who love Him (Revelation 2:7)

Please accept my sincere sympathy for your grief. Losing a friend is like losing one wing. After this it is difficult to fly. I pray to the Lord to help you cope and teach you to live with this loss. Strength, wisdom, goodness to you. Eternal memory to him.

I sincerely sympathize with your grief. But remember, losing your mother does not mean losing her love and warmth. Let them always warm you, and you - remember her and all the bright things that she left for you after herself. I know she would really like this.

May God give you strength to overcome such a difficult loss. I mourn with you. Now it seems to you that no one needs our dead except us, but this is not so. Look around, if they are so unnecessary, then what are we constantly doing at their graves? Why do we visit them, talk, ask for advice and help? And we always get what we ask for. Even after they left us forever... Be patient, it will become easier. And remember - he stopped being there, but did not leave you. You will see.

• • Reading condolences in verse is considered not entirely appropriate in these circumstances; try to avoid them;

• You should only offer words of regret when it is appropriate. Do not impose them or harass mourners to fulfill a formality. Do this sincerely, with warmth, at the right moment and do not go overboard with emotional words addressed to the deceased if you did not know him (otherwise the words will sound hypocritical, it’s better not to say anything at all, not to irritate your loved ones - it’s already difficult for them);
• If the opportunity to express grief does not present itself, you can format any of these texts in the form of a short letter and send it to your loved ones. This will give them the opportunity to read them when it is convenient, rather than listening to your sorrows when it is convenient for you.
• Words of condolences are usually formal words... standard, short and similar to each other. You can make them warmer, more cordial and more personal through intonation and reminders (briefly) of episodes, small parts, which specifically connected you with the deceased, gave rise to a warm attitude towards him.
• Do not impose advice and edifications to help you survive the pain of loss. This irritates loved ones. They (advice) should be given only when you are absolutely sure and see that they are needed or they are guaranteed to be necessary and can help. It's even better if you don't talk, but do something to alleviate the situation. Since any advice most likely will not be received correctly, it will remain just an irritant.

In the hustle and bustle of everyday life, situations arise when our family, close people or friends need support, because they experience strong emotional experiences. The normal and correct desire of anyone in this case would be the desire to provide help. But at such a delicate moment it is important that it be correct and effective. To do this, you need to know how to behave so as not to harm and really support a person in difficult times.

• Allow and help express emotions. Strong emotions and feelings should not be suppressed; help do everything so that the person expresses what is in his soul. It doesn’t matter whether it’s grief or joy, resentment or disappointment. Until all emotions are spilled out, your interlocutor will not feel relief, and his condition will not improve. Sometimes a person can simply withdraw into the world of his experiences. Provoke him, piss him off, or, conversely, delicately start a conversation and watch his reaction.
• Offer your help. Return it overnight peace of mind and harmony, no one can, but help real deeds everyone can. Therefore, offer something that can make it easier serious condition person. For example, clean the house, cook food, go to the store. Try to help regularly until the difficult stage is overcome.
• Try to be close. It's no secret that at such moments a friend needs you more than ever. Spend as much time as you can with them. Try to eliminate the source of suffering or things that may remind you of it. You should not say banal general phrases like “everything will definitely be fine” or “wait, time heals.” Just show that this person is very important to you, how much you value, love and respect him.
• Let the person talk. Show tolerance and patience, listening to everything your interlocutor wants to tell you. Believe me, being a correct and good listener is a special art. And, despite the fact that he will do most of the talking, your reaction should express complete participation and understanding, as well as support.
• Try to distract from sad thoughts. Try to distract the person at least for a while from the experiences or thoughts that prevent him from returning to normal life. Invite him to take a walk in the park, go to the cinema or theater, a cafe, here you should rely on the tastes of a friend. However, remember about the appropriateness, if a person is in mourning, do not invite him to entertainment events.
• Give good advice. If you successfully managed to get through the moment of emotional release and listening to experiences in the form of a monologue, the person cried a lot and spoke out. The time has come to give advice, but not in a recommendatory form, but rather simply share your thoughts about the current situation and ways out of it. At such moments, you have the advantage of sobriety of mind and the ability to reason sensibly, without unnecessary emotions. With this behavior you will show genuine concern and care for your loved one. And if he’s suddenly wrong in his thoughts or actions, and can’t pull himself together, it’s time to gently hint him about it so that he doesn’t make a mistake.
• Be lenient and as tolerant as possible. In such difficult moments, you should not show anger, irritability, nervousness or short temper. Think about what a person is in moments mental discomfort, experiences, negative thoughts sometimes I am simply unable to control myself and control the situation.
• Act in the moment. In the process of communication, you yourself will understand what else can help your friend. Each personality is individual, relationships between people are also unique and do not lend themselves to standards or templates.

What words of support can you say in difficult times?

Words of support in difficult moments, when a person is in a difficult emotional state, are no less important than actions. Psychologists say that words seem to connect you with reality and prevent you from falling into the abyss of worry. They give you the feeling that you are not alone with the problem, that there is someone who understands, supports, and shares the bitterness of your experiences.

There are probably no universal words of consolation and support for all people, but an attentive and caring attitude towards the problems of your neighbor is in itself a wonderful support. Do not think that these words are not important to your interlocutor, that he does not notice them and can do without them.

The best words of support will be sincere, coming from the soul and heart. If you also experience bitterness, pain, or worry about a loved one, you should not say cliched phrases. Often they may not console, but, on the contrary, aggravate suffering.

If your words do not come from the heart, you don’t know how or what to say, just remain silent. Believe me, if you force yourself to say something without sincerity and openness, it incredibly feels and is perceived as false and nothing more.

How to support a person when he is sick?

At the time of illness, any person needs care, attention and support from loved ones. To do this, it is important to show and make it clear how much you love him, how much you value him.

If the illness has disrupted your plans for work, leisure or personal life, explain that his condition will not become a burden for you, so that caring for him is more important.

If the illness is not serious, encourage the person to in a comic form that you are waiting for him get well soon. Agree that after discharge you will go to your favorite place or just interesting place, for example, in a cafe or for a walk. Saying that a sick colleague is missing from work is also great support. Try to spend as much time as possible with the patient, telling him about the news, asking his opinion or advice.

Come up with a joint activity or business that would bring pleasant emotions and joy to the patient; at the time of illness, it is important not to feel lonely and unnecessary.

You can also distract the patient from the illness by creating a cozy atmosphere in the room where he is. If this is a hospital, bring things from home, photos of your loved ones, books, bright pillows or your favorite flower. If at home, just give a nice gift to show you care.

But how to support a person who suffers from a serious illness? Here you just need to please the patient with little things, maintaining a good mood and not letting him “give up.” He must know that tomorrow will definitely come and be better. Talk to them every day about how they will be cured, perhaps tell them examples of people who have successfully overcome the disease.

How to help your loved one?

You should show a special attitude when something unpleasant happens to your significant other or loved one. But support in such a situation is not as easy as it seems, because your opinion about the problem may differ from your partner’s perception.

They say that men have an easier time understanding how to comfort women. It is no secret that ladies are characterized by excessive emotionality; they love not only to talk about situations in detail, but also to express their feelings and experiences. Here a man just needs to listen, carefully and sincerely. Psychologists note that the most common mistake of the stronger sex is that, having recognized the problem, they immediately look for its solution.

Alas, this tactic is wrong, the woman needs to be pitied and reassured. And only after that try to solve the issue or understand how to do the right thing. Often, real action is not required; the opportunity to speak out, to gain an understanding that they are ready to help you at any moment is more important for a woman.

If in a couple, a difficult moment in life has come for the man, the woman needs to gain wisdom and patience. Some guys perceive problems as new lessons and experience, while others perceive them as failure. There is only one rule here: do not try to find out more than your loved one is ready to tell. Sometimes a man’s support can manifest itself in the form of completely ignoring the problem, act as if nothing happened, try to please him with little things.