I don’t respect myself, what should I do? Be a Lady Lady - the highest embodiment of a Woman

A person must respect himself, because without this he will not learn to interact with the world around him correctly. The difficulty is that learning self-esteem is not a five-minute task.

There are many step by step instructions, which can lead you to a certain result, but it is important to understand why it is so important. Self-respect is always above all else, because it teaches us moderate pride and the correct perception of everything around us.

The Importance of Self-Respect

So, let's consider the simplest case when a person achieves everything in life on his own or, at least, makes a huge amount of effort to become independent and self-sufficient. A person works and does not follow the path of least resistance. He learns something, studies life from the inside, makes mistakes.

When such a person is told that he has achieved nothing, he does not begin to look for reasons with which he could justify himself. He doesn't need it, because he is confident that he tried, tried, did something. This is caused by self-confidence, born of self-respect, which has been earned through many years of work on oneself. When you respect yourself, you don't need to find motivation to work to justify yourself to someone. You have a huge advantage, which lies in vast experience.

Let's consider the opposite situation, when a person does not work, sits on the neck of his parents, does not strive for anything and only waits for everything to be presented to him on a silver platter, as most likely was the case before. It is not uncommon when in a rich or even ordinary family children get absolutely everything “for free”, just like that. In the vast majority of cases, such children do not grow into strong personalities. Their self-respect is 100 percent replaced by pride and a sense of self-importance. To some extent, almost everyone is such a person, so everyone should work for the benefit of their own development, and not sit idly by, because it is always easier to slide down an inclined plane than to go up.

Children need to be raised correctly so that they understand that absolutely everything has its price. Every gift should be rewarded with good deeds. The child should get everything he wants, but do a minimum set of responsibilities for this.

It is difficult to teach a person in adulthood, so you have to pull yourself together and live the way you need to, and not the way you want. You need to analyze your life, draw conclusions and try not to be selfish. This is the only way to gain self-respect, which will not allow you to fall in the eyes of worthy people. This is his most important task - to help determine his place in life. When you see that you have worked and tried to do something, then you respect yourself and are confident. You may not achieve your goals, but you will know you tried.

How to recognize a person who respects himself

There are several understandable signs of developed self-esteem:

  • this person has a heightened sense of responsibility. He is not late for stupid reasons, he is disciplined, he knows his duties and always fulfills them or tries to fulfill them;
  • this person has self-esteem. This manifests itself in everything, and it is not selfishness;
  • he understands other people. This person once had a hard time, so he does not condemn other people’s mistakes, but tries to help solve them. Such people, by choice or not, become diplomats. They know how to put themselves in another person's place;
  • he never judges people with an informal appearance. He may disagree with the presence of tattoos, but he will not be prejudiced towards such people;
  • he will normally relate to a different position in life. If you vote not for the communists, but for the democrats, then he will not hold a grudge against you;
  • Such a person does not hang labels. He does not think stereotypically because he understands that everything is relative;
  • he doesn't manipulate other people. This is unnecessary, because manipulation is a type of emotional abuse, and a smart and respectful person will never use such methods;
  • such a person monitors his own health and the health of his loved ones;
  • he always speaks to the point. He does not start gossip and tries to lie as little as possible;
  • he doesn't attract attention to himself on purpose. Distinctive feature such a person - modesty;
  • it is almost impossible to manipulate such a person, because he has established rules developed throughout his life. His position in life is unchanged, at least by other people;
  • such a person can always give important advice. At the same time, he or she will definitely explain that this is only their opinion, so it’s up to you to act and choose too.

Stay as close to such people as possible. They look boring or appear so, but they simply do not reveal themselves to the public, leaving all the beautiful to people worthy.

How to learn self-esteem

It all starts with you diagnose your problem lack of self-esteem. If you are brave enough to understand your flaw, then you will be strong enough to heal it.

First try change your lifestyle. You'll have to become more disciplined. Need to develop the best plan and daily routine for yourself: when to go to bed, when to get up, when to rest, when to do nonsense and idle (there should also be such points).

Physical control will teach you mental control. When you take up sports and quit bad habits, you will have more money and time to think about your life. The mood will rise, the desire to live will appear and intensify. At this very moment you will need to start looking for some hobbies for yourself. If you haven't had a job, you'll have to start looking for one from the very beginning of your change journey. Try to give up your demandingness if you have high demands. Give preference to work with opportunities for career growth.

If you are used to being late, you will have to eradicate this habit. Start getting ready early and don’t put anything off until later. If you need to go grocery shopping, don't tell yourself "later." Develop a sense of duty by overpowering yourself, overcoming the desire to put everything off until the next day. People with a developed sense of self-esteem know the value of every minute of their lives, therefore they live in the current time, deciding how to more problems at a time. If you don’t know how people you know can work, relax and have fun without harming themselves, then this suggests that you don’t know how to plan anything and determine when you need to do something immediately.

Your responsibilities should come first. No wonder this is taught in childhood. Business has time, but fun has time. Leave as much time as possible for things to do. Distribute your time between them so that you are not doing one thing for a whole day, a whole week.

General advice for anyone who wants to become more happy man than now, it sounds simple: work. Hard work, perseverance, and the desire to be the best at what you love most in the world is the main formula for success. Such people respect themselves in a good way this word. They do not give offense to their feelings and themselves, because they have something to lose. Love your work, because many successful people unanimously claim that there is nothing more beautiful in this world than the feeling when you have succeeded in something.

Remember that you are not doing this for anyone, but only for yourself. If your goal is not to improve yourself, then you most likely will not be able to become better, although the path itself will be correct. It is impossible to make a person happy and self-sufficient who does not want it himself.

One way or another, you always need to respect yourself so as not to fall prey to manipulators and people who can take advantage of your kindness. Remember that self-respect is the foundation happy life and financial and love success. Don't try to bend the rules, because only lazy people call discipline unnecessary. Good luck and don't forget to press the buttons and

How can you learn to love and respect yourself? It’s a pity that not many people ask this question, but it’s very important point in building your life. We must remember that how you treat yourself is how others will treat you. Mostly people build themselves bad opinion about yourself without even knowing it. Self-criticism plays an important role here. With every clumsy movement or behavior, a person is ready to insult himself, while thinking that in the eyes of others he is a hero.

For example, you dropped something carelessly, called yourself a “cow” or “holey hands” and you think that those around you will praise you, saying that you are so self-critical. But nothing like that, the next time in the same situation your surroundings or people close to you may call you that, and the further you go, the more. In the end, you will begin to get used to the fact that you are a worthless person, and your hands do not grow from there. All this will have a very negative impact on your life.

Who is your favorite person?

Stop criticizing, humiliating, insulting yourself and others. The most beloved person on earth for you should be yourself. Necessary learn to love and respect yourself. A person who loves himself will never talk badly about himself, much less humiliate himself. He can always forgive himself for any mistake because he learns from his mistakes and will do everything right next time.

But our people, brought up in “developed socialism,” are afraid not only to talk about self-love, but even to think about it, and if such a thought flashes, it will be suppressed by fear of seeming selfish. In most cases, people create obstacles for themselves, from far-fetched thoughts about themselves. Some people agree to love themselves, but on the condition “If only I were (were) twenty years younger and thirty kilograms less, that’s when I would start (began) love and respect yourself", but it doesn't happen that way.

Life sets the condition here, not you. Now, if you love yourself for who you are, then you will make every effort in order to lose weight, you will start doing exercises every day, instead of lying on the couch, you will read affirmations every day, instead of watching TV, take daily walks to the fresh air, instead of eating at night. You will begin to learn from your mistakes and praise yourself for even the smallest results, instead of complaining about your life.

Of course, in their hearts, every person wants to be loved and respected, but remember that the opinion of others about you will depend on how you think about yourself, from your thoughts about yourself and from your behavior. Start to love and respect yourself as a person, people around you will notice this and will pay attention to your good sides.

Love yourself as you are

There are many examples in the world where people have absolutely no attractive appearance or short, with great weight, are very popular and appreciated by millions of people. Here you can object, “Of course they’re popular, everyone knows them,” but I’ll tell you this: “Once they were nobody with the same appearance, but thanks love and self-respect they simply made people perceive themselves the way they perceive themselves.” And it cannot be otherwise, only self-love will make you the same, regardless of your appearance, weight, body height and other charms.

If at the same time it is necessary to develop new qualities, then one must learn to develop them. If you are not sociable, and constantly scold yourself for this, then you need to become sociable, this is just your negative belief about yourself, you once came up with it yourself, and then believed in it, or as a child your parents constantly told you about it, teachers at school. You have come to terms with this thought, and consider yourself as such, but this is not so.

All the qualities in a person are already inherent in God from the beginning, you just never used some of them, for various reasons.

There is always a way out:

Change yours, make a portrait of yourself, what you want to become, visualize yourself in a mental picture. Observe those people whom you secretly envy, saying to yourself, “How does he do everything so easily,” and then project onto yourself positive qualities and the actions of this person, but at the same time remain yourself.

For most people in life, it’s the other way around: some are constantly dissatisfied with themselves, others scold and criticize themselves, others condemn and despise, and there are those who hate themselves. So, who is to blame for all this? And you yourself are to blame for everything. Stop constantly terrorizing yourself and finding all sorts of flaws in yourself. You are who you are, accept it as indisputable fact. After such acceptance, it will be easier for you to tune in to respect and love to yourself.

Not a single bad word addressed to you, not criticism, not condemnation, much less hatred. Try the following exercise:

Exercise:

Stand in front of the mirror, look at yourself carefully, because this is you, you are a Man created in the image and likeness of God, with a particle of God inside you. Is it possible to scold, criticize and hate God, you are God. Just as God created this world, so you, like God, create your world, the one in which you live. Relax, have the courage to look at your reflection in the mirror without looking away. Tell yourself “I love you (name) and accept you as (who) you are.” Sometimes it takes people a long time to look at themselves carefully in the mirror and not look away or turn away altogether.

Do this exercise as often as possible. Start with short dialogues with your reflection, and then gradually increase them. At first, this activity may seem like sheer stupidity to you. Be patient. Ask yourself, “What right do I have to judge this person, his body.” The person in the mirror is you, as you are, you need to learn to love and respect this person, and not insult him.

Perhaps some of this person's traits in the mirror will seem especially hateful to you, since they may remind you of your parents or close relatives. Maybe at this time you will even feel angry at them for some past mistakes, or maybe you have not been on good terms with them for a long time and harbor a grudge against them.

It's time to forgive them. By doing this, you will remove from yourself a long-term burden that you seem to have forgotten about, but sometimes it floats to the surface and tears at your heart. Following forgiveness will come deep relief, you will definitely feel it, and your reflection in the mirror will no longer scare you.

To ask a person or ask him for forgiveness, you do not have to do it face to face. It is enough to imagine this person in your mental imagination. Relax, close your eyes, imagine this person, that he or she is standing next to you. Mentally say “I forgive you and accept you as you are.” After that, let him (she) smile back at you or shake your hand, you also smile and go your separate ways. different sides, waving to each other goodbye.

It will be very great if you succeed the first time, but if not, then this exercise must be repeated. The ability to forgive will, first of all, have a positive effect on yourself. Here you touch invisible strings in the world of subtle energies, which will certainly manifest themselves in visible world events, meetings or relationships.

Do this exercise 5-7 times, observe the changes that will occur in your life. They may not appear immediately. Have patience, it takes time for events to take shape. If you change, the World will change, live in love And respect It’s always more pleasant than living in hatred and anger.

How to learn to love and respect yourself updated: January 3, 2018 by: Admin

Know yourself. This will help you identify what kind of unique person you are and increase your self-esteem. Think about your talents and strengths. This process of self-discovery may take some time, but it will be time well spent.

Learn to forgive yourself if you want to increase your self-esteem. Forgive yourself for what you have done in the past. If necessary, admit your mistakes and ask other people for forgiveness. If you blame yourself for offensive words or wrong actions and decisions, then it will be difficult for you to live. Remember that all people make mistakes and learn from them, so forgive yourself and others.

Be yourself. Love and accept yourself for who you are. Don't think that you are ideal - just come to terms with who you are. Be proud of your strong qualities and don't be upset about your weak traits, especially the ones you can't change.

  • Are you planning to love yourself only after you lose 20 kg? This is a bad approach. Love yourself for who you are in the present moment.
  • Develop self-confidence. You cannot respect yourself if you are not happy with who you are, what you look like and what you do. Developing self-confidence will take a lot of effort, but daily exercise will help you with this.

    • Watch your posture, smile more and think about yourself in a positive way at least three times an hour.
    • Say “Thank you” to the person who complimented you.
  • Maintain a positive attitude. This will help you succeed in life and increase your self-esteem. Even if your life is going downhill right now, think that everything will work out in the end. Be content with what you have at the moment time. If you anticipate a terrible ending to any situation, it will be difficult for you to learn to respect yourself and gain respect from other people.

    • For example, when going for an interview, don't think that you will fail because there are stronger candidates. Tell yourself that you are proud of yourself for passing this interview.
  • Don't live someone else's life. Often the root cause of low self-esteem is negative thoughts about your life in comparison to other people's lives. For example, you may be unhappy with yourself because you earn less than your friends. Set goals without regard to other people and achieve them. Don't waste your time on something that will impress your Facebook friends. Do what you want, not what is fashionable or prestigious.

    Don't envy anyone. Do everything you can to achieve your goals. Envy is accompanied by bitterness and resentment, and these feelings destroy your self-esteem and make you strive to be like others. Do what makes you happy.

  • Believe in the correctness of your decisions if you want to increase your self-esteem. Don't change your beliefs and try to understand what makes you happy. Reward yourself for doing the right thing decisions made and stick to them (even if it's very difficult).

    • If you need help, ask someone else for it, but don't think that you are doing everything wrong and that you need to do it all over again.
  • Learn to take criticism calmly. This is the only way you will respect yourself. If the criticism is objective and constructive, be sure to listen to it. Perhaps the information received will be useful to you for self-development. Thanks to constructive criticism, you will achieve your goal - to become better.

    • For example, your girlfriend may say that sometimes she needs more attention and care from you. Or your boss will recommend that you add more detail to your report.
    • It happens that someone is just picking on you or trying to insult you. This approach is not constructive criticism, so learn to distinguish between constructive and unconstructive criticism (this is not so easy the first time).
  • Don't let others pressure you. Self-esteem comes from your inner self, not from other people. Perhaps awards or compliments will boost your self-esteem for a while, but self-esteem must come from your consciousness. Don't let other people put you down or question your beliefs. Believe in what you accept right decisions and learn to ignore bullies and envious people.

    • A person who changes his decision or opinion under pressure from others will be known as weak person without strong convictions. Stand your ground and people with a negative attitude towards you or towards life will gradually leave you behind.
  • Self-esteem and self-love determine our mental comfort. By denying his own personality, a person cannot believe in his own strengths and lowers his level of aspirations. Analyze how well you feel about yourself.

    Self-respect, usually called self-esteem, and self-esteem constitute the core of personality. Our motivation depends on the level of self-esteem, life goals and claims.

    To understand how well you feel about yourself, answer the question: “Do you accept yourself as you are?” Or have you created an unattainable image, you understand that you are far from it, but you don’t even try to get closer to your ideal self?

    While the superego is vigorously performing morning jogging, eats a balanced diet, reads smart books, never comes out peace of mind and does not know defeat in arguments, the ego mostly reclines on the couch and watches TV after returning from a hateful job. There is no need to talk about self-respect in this situation. It’s another matter if a person behaves as his ideal image could act, or at least takes real steps in the right direction.

    The conflict between the ideal image and reality will hinder self-esteem until you begin to overcome natural laziness and engage in self-improvement. True, there is an easier way - give up the ideal image, lower the bar. The place of your ideal image will be taken by a lazy person and a slob, and you will merge in a harmonious union. It's unlikely you'll be proud of yourself, but maybe it won't bother you. I hope no one has the desire to relax and grunt?

    How to grow self-esteem

    So, self-esteem increases as we gradually move closer to our own created ideal, and decreases as we move away from it. Let's figure out the ideal image. Do you know him well? How do you measure up to him? I propose to create your ideal portrait: what would we like to be if the circumstances were favorable?

    We take a blank sheet of paper and write down in a column the qualities that our ideal ego should have. We look through the list and note the qualities that we already possess. Are there many coincidences? The more there are, the higher the level of self-esteem should be. In other words, the closer the ideal, the more reasons to respect yourself. By the way, the absolute coincidence of the ideal and the real indicates excessive self-confidence or low self-esteem.

    The real and ideal selves cannot coincide with an adequate assessment of oneself, because then the conflict will disappear - driving force, forcing us to move forward and improve. And without development, degradation begins - this is inevitable. The surmountable discrepancy between the ideal and the real self forces one to grow and respect oneself. But what to do if the discrepancies are huge, and there is no strength to change anything?

    Let's deal with self-esteem

    Psychologists say that you first need to understand how the false image was formed, since self-esteem with such an imbalance is clearly inadequate.

    For example, Peter dreams of earning 20 thousand rubles a month without control from his boss. Fedor is making plans for a bungalow on the ocean and spiritual practices in Tibet. If in the first case there is low self-esteem, then in the second there are ambitious goals and needs of a completely different plan. Of course, these people have very different ideas about themselves, and apparently the ways to achieve their goals will also be different.

    The plans of a person who respects himself are quite feasible, although their implementation requires tension. But with distorted self-esteem, underestimated or overestimated, self-respect, for the most part, is a farce. A person with an incomplete secondary education who imagines himself to be a president and a certified philologist who works as a loader are equally far from true self-respect.

    We recognize a person with self-esteem by his constant balance, goodwill and openness. A truly self-respecting person does not need to constantly put up cordons around his person; such a person is always ready for dialogue and is easy to communicate with. One more characteristic feature– respectful attitude towards people, regardless of their age and status.

    Unconditional self-respect

    The second component of self-esteem is the basic attitude “I feel good (bad) about myself.” This conviction does not depend on the opinions of others or on our real merits; it originates in the very early childhood when only the parents' assessment matters. If this component prevails, a person treats himself with respect.

    By combining basic self-love and the feeling that you are getting closer to your own ideal image, self-respect is confirmed by self-esteem. This is the happy occasion when a person becomes balanced, effective and completely satisfied. overall assessment of your life.

    Distortions occur if, with real achievements, there is no emotional approval of oneself or, conversely, self-love is not supported by the grounds for self-esteem. There are feelings of undervaluation and resentment towards life.

    The embodiment of self-esteem - the lion in natural environment habitat. Are there many people who want to test how strong he is? This is how people feel how self-esteem is developed in us. Few people think of making a bad or vulgar joke with a person with developed self-esteem, or of manipulating him. Attempts are, of course, possible, but they are stopped clearly and unequivocally. Individuals suffering from low self-esteem periodically find themselves in situations where others abuse their kindness, humiliate them and interfere in their personal spheres. Lack of self-esteem becomes a provocation for individuals prone to rudeness, which leads to a deepening of the belief: “I am unworthy.”

    How to learn to respect yourself

    We cannot change those around us, so we will have to change ourselves. Learn to be proud of yourself and give yourself reasons to be so. One day you will notice how your inner position will manifest itself in your posture, gaze and facial expression. Rest assured, those around you will appreciate the changes, and you will like the changes.

    Only you yourself can assess the state of your self-esteem and understand how great job to come. We can give some general tips to get you started.

    Don't deny yourself

    Accept yourself as you are. This is how parents love their children - of course, regardless of their appearance and character flaws. There are no ideal people, but there are people who are confident in themselves.

    Develop yourself

    If you love yourself, try to improve yourself: read a lot, expand your horizons, work on yourself.

    Learn to love yourself

    We are not talking about selfishness, which is based solely on satisfying one’s own needs. But don’t treat yourself like an enemy, allow yourself some liberties at least sometimes. Make a list of pleasures that you would like to indulge in. Perhaps you will be delighted by shopping or a bath with fragrant foam, or maybe you have long dreamed of just spending the whole weekend at home reading a book. Don't be too hard on yourself.

    Be loyal to yourself

    Treat yourself tolerantly, don’t be angry with yourself if something doesn’t work out right away, don’t reproach yourself mercilessly for failures. Try again or more than once - and everything will definitely work out.

    Find something you like

    It’s hard to respect yourself if every morning you have to curse the alarm clock, drag yourself to a job you hate, and consider yourself a galley slave. Change your profession if necessary, but do what you love. When you stop making daily sacrifices, you will feel like a creator and you will no longer have to think about your self-worth.

    "Census" of the environment

    Analyze how pleasant the people you communicate with are. If you know there is someone you don't feel comfortable meeting, do your best to reduce contact to a minimum. You will get rid of negative emotions and stop feeling remorse for being constantly irritated.

    Don't be fooled by empty promises

    Learn to keep your promises. Having promised yourself something, try to fulfill it - you will enjoy it and at the same time increase your level of self-esteem.

    Don't compare yourself to others

    You have no need to compare yourself with anyone - you are a separate person, worthy of respect and not needing role models. If someone, in your opinion, is worthy of imitation, evaluate his experience, analyze his actions, life principles. You can learn a lot from more successful people, but you don't have to compare yourself to them.

    Let go of the past

    Forget about your old grievances, forgive the offenders and wish them all the best. While you continually return to past events, the present passes by. You miss opportunities by continuing disputes that have already ended. This is a pointless waste of time and effort.

    Value yourself, and if it seems to you that there are not enough reasons for this, engage in self-improvement. We cannot always change our circumstances, but everyone can learn to live with dignity. Don’t do things that you will be ashamed of, don’t betray yourself and be honest with yourself - then you can respect yourself with every right.

    Our sense of self-worth is influenced by many factors around us in everyday life. Quite often, life tests the strength of our already shaky belief in our own importance. Therefore, how to love yourself and increase self-esteem for a woman is an extremely relevant, important, deep and reverent topic for everyone who is dissatisfied with themselves.

    Attitude towards oneself is formed in childhood and adolescence when we begin to gain a deeper understanding of the world and our place in it. Love and confidence stem from self-esteem, and many women, unfortunately, have low self-esteem. Of course, this affects the quality of life. To be truly happy, you need to take seriously the question of how to love yourself. Be responsible for your own life - start correcting the situation immediately.

    What is unconditional love?

    The term "unconditional love" means "love without conditions." This is the acceptance of a person, which does not depend on any time frame, material wealth or conditions in which we find ourselves.

    Love doesn't need a reason. People love you not for your appearance, not for your hairstyle, not for your figure. They love it just like that.

    So where to start? First of all, understand what it is to love. Understand who you are. At the beginning of your journey, you need to realize: love is a feeling when we accept ourselves. Completely and unconditionally. With all the advantages and disadvantages. This is a down-to-earth and humble sense of yourself and your life, which has nothing to do with conditional love, which breeds narcissism, selfishness and pride. Love is not pathos, not the desire to prove to others that you are better. This is not even a state of constant happiness and satisfaction with life. Harmony with yourself and inner world, self-respect in all situations. This is simplicity and modesty. Self-sufficiency. Confidence in own strength. The ability to truly rejoice and feel the value of one’s own Personality. This is the feeling of ease with which we move through life. This is the way. Movement towards yourself. Continuous process. When you don’t need comparisons, because you clearly differentiate: you are you, and others are others.

    To make it easier to understand how to love yourself and be happy, it is important to follow the recommendations of psychologists.

    Step by step instructions

    1. Forgive yourself. For bad deeds, for things that didn’t work out. Let go of all grievances towards others and situations in which you were wrong. Get rid of negative thoughts- they pull down. Be kind to yourself. You've made mistakes in life, and that's okay. Realize this and don’t blame yourself for the failures that have accumulated like a snowball in the hidden corners of your soul. Everyone has the right to make mistakes.
    2. Accept yourself as you are. Understand: you are an individual, a person. There is no such thing anymore and there never will be. This is a fact that you need to realize and accept, as well as your exclusivity and value in this world. Yes, it's not easy. However, only in this case will you sincerely understand how you can truly love yourself.
    3. Realize that you are a self-sufficient person. Self-love should not depend on other people. Some people think that it can be obtained, for example, from a man, but this is not so. Love is within us. You just need to get to her deepest strings.
    4. Learn to see and respect your Individuality. Even with all the weaknesses! Everyone has black and white, but this does not mean that you only need to love the good. Accept the other side too! Love begins with respect for oneself. Appreciate your work, experience, thoughts and actions.
    5. Strive to become the best version myself. Become aware of negative qualities and weaknesses that prevent you from becoming better. Correct them. Movement in this direction will bear fruit. Praised odes are powerless if you do not look deep into the soul. Psychological affirmations along with narcissism will give only a temporary effect. If your goal is to get to the very core and know yourself with all your heart, start with the inner content.
    6. You need to love yourself in any state and mood. Your attitude towards yourself should not depend on this. This value is constant and should not change under any circumstances. Loving yourself only for your appearance is self-deception. Look for the Human in yourself.
    7. Don't judge or criticize yourself. From a psychological point of view, criticism only brings negativity and self-destruction. It is absorbed into the mind, takes over thoughts and sets you up for failure in the future on a subconscious level. Find words of encouragement and be kind and patient with yourself.
    8. Don't complain, don't whine. Is there something you don’t like and don’t want to put up with? So take it and change it! Look at the situation soberly, rationally, think sensibly. Respect your mind. Only you have the right to take responsibility for your own actions and results. Nobody likes a whiner. I want to love strong personalities, open, sincere, with kindness in their hearts, who bring joy and positivity to the world, sharing their happiness with others. This is possible provided that Love reigns in the soul.
    9. Stop paying attention to others and depending on other people's opinions. Don't let it put pressure on you, pass it through the prism of your personal views. Sort opinions and draw personal conclusions. You must have your own clear position on certain things. Therefore, use good and useful sources of information, analyze and feed your mind with the necessary knowledge. Don't tolerate what you don't like. This will not let you get unsettled, but will allow you to love yourself and be confident in your own importance.
    10. Set goals, achieve, develop as a Personality. This will help improve your self-esteem. By achieving your goals and getting what you want, you will increasingly strengthen your self-confidence. With a strong desire, a person can do anything! Goals will help you believe in your capabilities, indicate right direction which will ultimately lead you to victory!
    11. Don't compare yourself to others. Don't strive to be like everyone else. Such a strategy is doomed to failure and disappointment. Best example– it’s you. There are no better or worse people, we are all equal. There are those who believe in themselves and those who don't. So be someone who accepts yourself as you are! There is no need for masks, games, or riddles - they are only appropriate on stage.
    12. Don't judge or criticize others. Do not allow yourself to think and speak towards others in a negative way. This devastates the soul, takes away energy, accumulates anger and irritation inside and blocks the path to Love. Is this the life you wanted to live? With hatred in your heart towards yourself and others? We often interpret situations through the prism of our views and mood. Don't become a grumpy grandma. Be positive. Your task is to bring goodness and light to the world. What you give is what you will receive.
    13. Love people. Is it true. With all my heart. Yes, there is no doubt that it is difficult. However, try to see the good in them and focus on their positive qualities. There is one thing golden rule: Accept others as they are without trying to change. When you love someone and are incredibly happy, you are ready to hug the whole world and all the people around you! So let this state begin with your love for Yourself!
    14. Spend time in a successful society. Strive for a positive social circle. Communicate with kind and smart people that pull you up, not down. With those with whom you feel happy, cheerful, sunny, loved, who radiate positive energy and do not take away. Avoid grumpy people, those who are always dissatisfied, gossipers, and all those who cause negative emotions and makes you suffer.
    15. Know how to say “no”. To go against your desires means that over time you will lose yourself, gain uncertainty and decline. vitality. Don't act to the detriment own desires. This is your life and you have the right to do what you see fit! Have your own opinion and desires. Let others take them into account. Be honest – first of all with yourself. If you don't like something, you don't have to endure it. To be true to yourself means to understand your “I” completely. The ability to refuse will help you respect personal boundaries and truly love yourself.
    16. Love your body. Realize: wise Nature does not make mistakes. You received your appearance as a reward, so why not accept it? Answering the question of how to love yourself and your body, we can say with confidence: this is only possible through self-care. Play sports. Go for a massage. Eat healthy foods. Take a break from the Internet and television. Spend time in nature more often, feel like an integral part of it. She gave you something special - life. Strengthen your spirit and health. Play sports and follow healthy eating– this is already a considerable reason to be proud of yourself!
    17. Avoid untidy appearance. Our appearance says more about us before we even open our mouth. Untidyness and carelessness in appearance and clothing is a sign of lack of self-esteem. It is enough to look clean and decent.
    18. Develop your femininity. Girls are emotional and sensitive, often exaggerate, focusing on little things and flaws in appearance. First you need to understand a very simple thing: ideals do not exist in nature. But there is such a thing as self-improvement. Strive to develop your femininity and positive aspects. When you become more confident in your own irresistibility (without pride, selfishness and pathos), others will be drawn to your inner strength and energy. Fill yourself, develop your feminine qualities. A woman who loves herself betrays inner feeling happiness - she “glows”. They say about such people “with a twinkle in their eyes.”


    Psychological techniques in practice

    And now practical advice and working on mistakes. Your task is to work on your weaknesses, changing them to strengths, overcoming obstacles. The goal is to improve your Personality.

    Making a list

    Take a sheet of paper and divide it into two parts. In the first, write your positive qualities. The second is what you don’t like about yourself and what you would like to change. Then cross off each negative quality on the list one by one. Tear off this part of the sheet and tear it into small pieces. (By the way, psychologists say that even after such a procedure your soul feels lighter.) Memorize the remaining text and repeat it regularly. For example, every morning or evening. Then make it a habit to add a new word to the list every three days. These are simple psychological techniques influence not only the conscious mind, but also the subconscious mind.

    We are looking for a reason to be proud of ourselves!

    Compare yourself to who you were yesterday. And take small steps every day to improve your own version. For example, you decide to pull yourself together and go to training. Do you know this sweet feeling when, having overcome a bunch of obstacles - laziness, excuses, etc., you went to training? Or, despite fatigue and lack of time, they completed it on time the right job? At such moments we are proud of ourselves! It is these sensations that you need to focus on in the process of increasing self-esteem! Focus on good times which have already been achieved. If you set goals and achieve them, the feeling of satisfaction will never leave you. In the end, learning to value your own efforts, work, and yourself will be much easier.

    Self-improvement

    This is something that needs to be carefully worked on - replacing the negative with the positive. Try to imagine in detail the image you would like to see in front of you. Each of us has weaknesses that would do well to get rid of. For example, you are unpunctual. It’s annoying, it makes you angry, but you don’t do anything to change it and no longer feel dissatisfied with yourself. This means that the new you must learn to control your time and work out high level self-organization. And so - with all the qualities that do not suit you.

    Psychologists advise writing down your own path to Love on paper. Buy beautiful diary or a notebook to which you will devote part of your time, which will become a friend, assistant and reflection of your own “I”. Write down the changes that happen to you. Start small and see how nice it is to get better!

    It is impossible to take and love yourself at one fine moment, when you want it. Let us repeat, this is a constant process, a path to knowing your “I”, a lot of hard work that you need to strive for. Just a feeling unconditional love to yourself will make you happier and spiritually richer! Being confident is a luxury you can afford! This is the real key to happiness and success!