How to teach a child to analyze information. Mathematics without cramming, or how to teach a child to think with his head

How earlier child learn to think not only about the task at hand school problem, but also just like that, for fun, the faster his intelligence, responsibility and seriousness will form.

It is generally accepted that the formation of thinking in a child ends in late adolescence when reflection appears - mature thoughts about yourself and your behavior. Teenagers are increasingly beginning to think about the meaning of life and their place in it. A fifteen-year-old girl or boy can think for hours, looking at the ceiling. But small children do not know how to do this. Their whole life is spent in communication with others - peers and parents.

BOREDOM IS THE INABILITY TO THINK

On the way home, Kirill, as always, whined that he was bored and demanded to play words, cities, riddles and other oral games. But the relaxed parents did not want to get involved in intellectual work again; they already devoted a lot of time to their son. “Think about something,” the father advised, when Kirill began again in a capricious tone: “I’m bored. I don’t know what to think about,” the son responded offended. “Every person has something to think about,” dad objected in an edifying tone. But the son continued to whine. The father sighed: “It’s amazing, is it really impossible to dream about something, remember something pleasant? Here I am at his age...”

Many children cannot occupy themselves because they do not know how to think purposefully. By the way, this problem interferes with normal studies for many boys and some girls in elementary school(voluntary thinking is formed earlier in girls than in boys).

The thinking of young children is structured in such a way that they think about what they “think” about. The ability to control this process voluntarily is fully formed only by the age of ten. An adult can always choose what to think about and what not to think about.

If you do not teach a child to think voluntarily, then he will grow up to be a slave to his thoughts (say, intrusive thoughts about the bad - this is not only neurosis, but also the inability to voluntarily control one’s thoughts). A child must be taught to think. And not only on problems in mathematics, but also in everyday life. Then he will never be bored.

For example, you and your daughter are preparing a salad for lunch. What can you think about now?

Of course, don’t forget to put a cucumber in the salad, salt it well and pour sour cream on it. You can also think about how delicious the salad will be and how beautifully it can be decorated. But you shouldn’t think about the fact that your grandmother might not like him - these are negative, disturbing thoughts, and you shouldn’t accustom your child to them.

At first, talk about everything out loud. But be sure to start with the phrase: “What are you going to think about now?” The child will learn to think purposefully about any task and everyday problem.

Even small child it can be explained that simple thought can carry enormous power and work miracles. Come up with your own instructive tale for this.

For example: “The bunny’s mother got sick, and he had to bring her some medicinal herbs that grew in the dark forest. The bunny was afraid to go into this forest, he saw a terrible wolf under every bush there. And then the bunny began to think about his mother, about how he would bring her medicinal herbs, how she would get better and how they would jump together in the clearing. With these thoughts, the bunny did not notice how he entered scary forest, picked some weed and returned home. Good thoughts helped him cope with his fear.”

Train your child to manage his thoughts, and he will never be bored alone with himself.

Portal "House of the Sun"

Every child is a natural explorer. But, unfortunately, adults often do not develop this ability, but extinguish it... Modern system preschool and school education imperfect. She does not view the child as creative personality with your own point of view, but as a container into which you need to put a certain amount of knowledge.

Mechanism and cogs

In a traditional school, the teacher-authority gives children ready-made information, which they must not comprehend, check, question, but simply trustingly memorize. In other words, take it on faith. In this regard, domestic pedagogy is many decades behind reality. After all, if earlier the system needed just a cog that would live as it was told, now the state needs creative, non-standard thinking specialists-innovators in a variety of fields who go beyond the standards.

Of course, we are not able to change the education system, but every parent, as part of home development, can teach their child to think, and from the cradle. This does not require special knowledge or a lot of time.

Changing the approach

Today, developmental teaching methods are popular, in which the main thing is to create conditions for the child to solve a variety of problems. For example, a child’s ball rolled under the sofa. There is a bustle in the house: mom tries to reach it with her hand, dad tries to move the furniture, grandma runs for a mop. All this teaches the child not to think about how to solve a problem, but to sit and wait for others to do everything for you. What is the right thing to do? Start reasoning with your child: “Try to get it yourself. Doesn't work? Why? You see, the distance from the floor to the sofa is small, but the ball has rolled. This means you need to use some kind of device. Which? That's right, narrow and long - grandma's mop will do just fine. Hurray, you did it!”

Mothers love to do everything for the child - dressing him, tying his shoelaces, helping him down the stairs, shouting: “Don’t touch him! Don't go! Don't go! However, they rarely explain why. But you need to use the simplest, everyday examples to teach your child to think, find the answer himself, solve a problem, and if there is no obvious solution, come up with one.

Sometimes unexpected questions from an adult can become a stimulus for development. Why is there steam coming from the pan? Why do clouds appear in the sky? Why are there no square fish? What will roll faster - a ball or a cube? If your child bombards you with questions, don’t rush to answer right away. Your first reaction should be the question: “What do you think?” Even if the child shrugs his shoulders, is afraid of making a mistake, and does not know how to express his thoughts in words, just reason with him. The simplest thing is to do everything for the child, give a ready answer - he will fall behind faster. And you try to teach your child to think! It's difficult, but it may be the most valuable thing you pass on to your child.

Lessons with your mother are sometimes more effective than with any tutor.

Toys and books

Don't buy for a child simple toys — talking dolls, battery-powered trains, push-button singing phones, etc. With them you can only perform one simple, repetitive action - press a button. Buy simple, at first glance, toys with which you can make many of the most different actions. For example, cubes, construction set, wooden railway, microscope. Creativity, new discoveries, inclusion fine motor skills They will not only give you joy, but also develop your intelligence.

Books are an excellent trainer for brain development. There is no need to read encyclopedia articles to your baby from the cradle - this will only discourage his thirst for knowledge. The principle should be this: the child asked a question about how the heart works, which means it’s time to get children’s anatomy in pictures from the library. I asked where it was North Pole? You open the map with him. The initiative should come from the child, and not “from above.”

You can and should read with kids! The sooner the better. These should be age-appropriate books with beautiful illustrations. Discuss what you read, ask questions. “The owner abandoned the bunny... Why do you think she did this? How did the bunny feel? What would you do if you were the owner of a bunny?” One small quatrain can take a child into huge world knowledge, form emotional intelligence- the ability to put oneself in the place of another, to understand other people's emotions.

Psychologists say that the ability to empathize is an indicator of a mature personality. In addition, these skills are also useful in learning to deal with, analyze and understand your feelings. This skill will be useful to the baby in the future.

For the majority, a free-thinking person is an ideal, a model for the development of human nature. We like people who can truly think freely. And many parents would like to see their children this way in the future. But how much does raising children promote free thinking?

Typically, parents want their children to “think correctly,” that is, to think according to an already established pattern. Somewhere this is reasonable, otherwise every child would be forced to go through the path of spiritual evolution made by humanity over the centuries. This is both impossible and unnecessary, so parents provide their children with ready-made answers to the question of how to live in this world.

But by teaching a child the rules and relationships in society, we often block his freedom of thinking. When teaching a child to listen to elders, it is important not to destroy his ability to think for himself.

How to combine your influence on a child and the opportunity to raise a free-thinking person?

Let's start with what NOT to do if you want to raise your child to be a thinking person.

Directive "Don't think"

There is a special mechanism that affects a child’s ability to think independently. These are parental directives, hidden messages, in particular the “Don’t think” directive. You can learn more about the hidden messages we convey to children in the webinar “Beware Your Words!” .

This directive, like others, is conveyed in the words and actions of parents.

In words it sounds:

“Don’t be smart!”

"Don't have your head in the clouds!"

“What, do you consider yourself the smartest?”

“You will know a lot, you will soon grow old!”

“Don’t argue, but do what you’re told!”

“Don’t think about it, take your mind off it” (said in problematic situations)

“Thinking too much is harmful!”

“You understand a lot!”

“You’re too young to talk about this yet!”

Through his behavior, a parent can also convey the directive “Don’t think!”, when he looks irritated, mocking, or impatient when listening to the child’s questions or reasoning.

If a parent sincerely believes that the child’s thinking should not be trusted, and there is nothing valuable or interesting in his words and thoughts, then he will definitely convey to the child the directive “Don’t think.”

“You just don’t want to think!”

"Where is your head?"

“You don’t understand at all!”

Such words, although disguised as encouraging the child to think or “think again,” inspire him with mistrust in his ability to think.

As a result of receiving the “Don’t think” directive, children develop a deep distrust of the results of their mental activity, and even doubt about its very possibility. This attitude continues into adulthood, preventing any activity related to thinking and decision-making. In adulthood, a person who has received such a directive experiences fear of making decisions, his ability to analyze may be reduced, he may commit strange rash acts, and often such people are haunted by headaches of psychosomatic origin.

Parents who convey such a directive to their children, as a rule, have no plans to ruin their lives. They simply seek to maintain their authority, ensure discipline, protect the child from painful thoughts, and protect him from dangerous decisions. However, the positive intentions of the parents do not save matters; the directive is very destructive.

Such words better for the child don't talk! Moreover, they are said often, not with the goal of influencing the situation, but with the goal of resetting emotional stress parents. So, for example, a parent, irritated that a child cannot solve a problem, tells him: “You just don’t think!” At the same time, the parent understands deep down that this phrase will not improve matters in any way, but with its help he throws out his tension.

To get rid of behavior that conveys the “Don’t think” directive to the child, it makes sense for parents to first notice those episodes when the directive is transmitted. In order to better understand why you are passing this directive, it is worth understanding yourself. If you yourself are the bearer of such a directive, your parents passed it on to you, then you are very likely passing it on to your children, like a relay baton.

Children often come to unexpectedly accurate conclusions, they often have fresh and vivid judgments. To develop the ability to analyze and think, it must be trained. The following phrases addressed to a child will help him believe that he is gifted with reason and is able to use it:

“You can understand a lot on your own”

"Let's reason together"

“Your conclusions about the situation are very important.”

“You can figure this out.”

“Tell me how you see it.”

How to support your child's free thinking

Some strategies can help you support your child's free thinking and independence.

1. Support customized solutions

Often parents, seeing how the child acts, tend to direct him to the right way. Sometimes this is justified, for example when we're talking about about safety. You cannot allow a child to hold a knife or handle fire incorrectly. But, very often, parental interventions exist in areas where this is not at all necessary. For example, parents persistently guide the child’s games, drawing or other creative activities. Even in such seemingly creative areas, parents, and, consequently, children, are dominated by standards.

In order to free the child from the total pressure of norms and pre-prescribed forms of activity, try to loosen control in those areas where this is possible. As a rule, children, unless adults are constantly looming over them, invent their own ways of acting and these are very valuable sprouts of individuality, creativity. Observe the child's way of acting, ask the child why he is comfortable this way, even ask him to teach you to act in a new way.

It is important to try not to interfere with processes that are a form of expression inner world a child’s life is, first of all, play and creative activities. Let the child be free to realize himself at least in these areas without fear of making a mistake. Perhaps it seems to you that the child gives up everything, does not complete anything, is careless, uncollected, and his play is too primitive. However, the opportunity to make their own decisions is very valuable in the lives of children, whose world is often highly regulated by demands placed on them and assessments. Give your child freedom where possible.

What kind of freedom can a child have:

Sometimes dress completely according to your taste, even if the clothes seem ridiculous to your parents.

Arrange your corner, small space to your liking.

Make friends with those he likes.

Doing things in his own way, for example, cleaning in a way that is convenient for him, if overall result you're happy with it.

Engage in creative activities in any form convenient for him, without striving for results every time.

2. Ask your child’s opinion

Do not rush to give a ready-made answer in controversial situations or conflicts; do not lock your child into the idea that there is only one correct answer. The very presence of different opinions, the possibility and value of expressing these opinions, is an important message to the child.

When reading books to your child, do not rush to explain the plot twists; try to at least give the child a chance to think. Often children, already intimidated by the prospect of making a mistake in their judgments, already treated with the “Don’t think” directive, are afraid to express their opinions to adults or try to guess the correct answer from their faces. Edifying literature, teachings from parents, the whole system public education teaches children to think that there is only one correct answer. But than older child, the more it is necessary to give him a chance for self-determination according to important issues to express your opinion.

Sometimes parents allow the child to speak only in order to, if the child’s judgment is incorrect, provide him with suitable arguments and correct him. They are not truly interested in how and what the child thinks, they are focused on directing his thoughts in the right direction. It is important to understand that such tactics have little to do with what is called interest in the child’s thoughts. If you are simply disingenuous, disguising moral teaching as interest, the child will immediately feel it and withdraw.

3. Reflect on controversial situations with your child.

If your child comes to you for advice, use the situation to help him develop his thinking skills. Do not try to immediately tell him what the right thing to do is.

First, accept the fact that the child may know the situation better than you, which means he has more possibilities for solutions, although he may not realize it.

Secondly, the stereotypical solution is not always better, and the child, due to the clarity of his view, is able to come up with a more recent solution.

Thirdly, the process of reflection itself can be more valuable than a ready-made answer to the question: what should I do?

Consider the situation with your child and suggest several possible solutions.

To better understand the situation, offer your child the following game:

step 1

Describe the situation: who are the participants, what is the cause of the conflict. Take your time at this stage. Depending on the age and character of the child, you can use drawings and toys to help understand the situation. For example, you can sketch a conflict using different colors to indicate the emotional background and state of the participants. You can draw participants as geometric shapes, animals with different characters, in the form of any images that the child’s imagination suggests.

At this stage, you can use toys to create a play illustration. Images can be “talking”: a child can label a character who is seen as aggressive as a wolf, a character from whom protection is expected, for example, as a good fairy.

step 2

Try to understand with your child what each character feels and thinks in this situation.

It is important that the child is able to look at the situation a little from the outside, to separate himself from the emotionally significant and conflicting story. At this stage, you can invite the child to get used to other characters, try to understand their mood. This expands the child's ability to understand other people.

step 3

Create two or more scenarios for the development of the situation. Conflict situations differ in that they seem hopeless. By inviting your child to create not one, but two or more scenarios, you are already telling him that there may be many possible ways out of a problematic situation.

Don't worry if your child suggests a fantastic scenario that cannot be realized in real life. Subsequently, you will have time to discuss what can be done in life and what is only in fantasy.

The process of inventing a fantastic way out in itself has its own energy, which liberates the child’s thinking.

step 4

Choose your favorite scenario. At this stage, it is not always possible to decide how to proceed further, but this is not required. Your task is simply to choose the scenario that seems more successful to you than others, and talk about why it attracts.

Do not worry if, as a result of the proposed game, you do not find absolutely ideal option. We often find it difficult to accept that the process of reflection did not lead us to what we wanted - that is, to the ideal solution. But the process of this game itself is more important than the specific result.

The main task of the proposed game is to transform the conflict situation, give it volume and liveliness, and allow the child to show his abilities.

4. Explore art with your child

In studying art such as music, painting, sculpture, fashion, it is easier to be free in judgment than, for example, when analyzing books or films. This is the most accessible area for developing a child’s ability to trust himself and reason freely. Ask your child to express his attitude towards objects or phenomena of art, without limiting him to correct ready-made judgments.

There is also a normative interpretation in art, however, when communicating with a child, you should not rush to give him ready-made answers. Listen to his reactions to works of art, encourage him to think about them, to explore his feelings.

The education system will have time to instill in children that there is a “correct” reading and understanding of art, but the task of parents is to give their children a little more freedom.

5. Lots of solutions

The idea that a problem has a right and a wrong solution greatly limits perspective.

When faced with difficult situations with your child, make it a rule to come up with at least three solutions. This is an optimistic approach that sets up in advance a whole space of possible exits, instead of a narrow corridor of “the only right way.”

It's better to train on simple examples. What to do if you forgot your pencil case at home, got your feet wet, was late for exercise, or didn’t have a toy. Invite your child to come up with a couple of exit options and another backup. At the same time, do not stand aside, get involved in the search for solutions. Lead by example three solutions in your personal problem situations. Do not criticize the child’s options; the important thing is not that all the proposed solutions are ideal, but that the child begins to see himself as capable of finding a way out, and more than one.

After simple situations You can move on with your child to more complex ones, for example, to conflicts in relationships with people.

6. Home brainstorming

When solving simple or complex family problems, brainstorm. Everyone has the right to express their proposal, but no one has the right to criticize or reject the proposals of others. At this stage, you can choose an officer on duty who issues penalty points to the assault participants for criticizing the options of other participants. Encourage your child to be active and let him know that he is capable of generating ideas.

After creating a list of ideas, you can hold a secret vote so that everyone can vote for their favorite idea. You can also discuss the proposed options out loud.

For the development of a child's free thinking, it is important that adults treat his ideas with respect.

© Elizaveta Filonenko

How to teach a child to think, reflect and analyze 10 commandments for parents from the world famous philosopher Oscar Brenifier Oscar Brenifier, Ph.D., author of several dozen books for children and parents, official UNESCO expert, revolutionized children's education and education, because he began to teach parents not just to give their children ready-made answers to any, even the most complex and philosophical questions, but from an early age to develop in them the ability to think, analyze, reflect and find answers to all their questions on their own. Commandment 1: Practice patience In any country in the world, parental impatience is the main obstacle to children thinking. If you want your child to learn to think, you need to work on yourself first, and the most important exercise for you is the exercise of patience. One mother told me about her problem. Her baby eats slowly. I asked: where is the problem? She replied that she needed to clean and do other things, but the child was delaying her. I said: this is your problem, do not confuse it with the child’s problem. Why not let him eat slowly? It was strange for mom. After all, in this case she will not be able to control the situation, and in her relationship with the child she wants to determine the rhythm of actions.” When you ask a child a question, he may not answer it right away, saying “I don’t know.” If you are impatient, you will speak for the child (especially if you think you know everything). At one exhibition, a girl approached me. I asked her what her name was. Her mother, who was standing nearby, answered for her: “Masha.” I asked my mother why she was responsible for the child. To which my mother told me: “She’s shy.” This mother was impatient and she believed that she knew everything (she knew her daughter’s name and that she was shy). That's it, why wait 30 seconds just to see what happens - what her daughter says or does? But it was impossible to talk to my mother about this. She simply cannot create a space where the child will be different. Commandment 2: Be ignorant when asking a child questions I learned this from my teacher, Socrates. He said that when you are looking for truth, you need to be ignorant. The secret is that when you ask a child questions (and questioning is the key to getting children to think), you must not know the answers to them, even if you know the answers. Otherwise, you will demand that your child say what you think is right. Example. If you ask a child how much two plus two is and want to hear only four in response, this is a test of knowledge, but not questioning, not thinking. Ask your child: “What is two plus two?” When he answers (regardless of the correct answer), ask how he came to this conclusion. Maybe this will be more interesting than the answer “4”. Checking whether a child has learned a lesson and checking whether he thinks are two different things. Example. If your son hits his sister, there are two things you can do. The first is to teach him moral values: she hurts, you can’t hit your sister, etc. (parents have the function of transmitting moral values). But there is another way to work with the conflict of two children - to discover why it happens. Ask your son: “why did you beat your sister?” Let's say he replied that she was bothering him. "What does it mean? More specifically: what did she do?” – you ask. “I wanted to take some things from her,” the boy said. “If your sister doesn't do what you want, she bothers you. Maybe there is something more legal? – ask your child this question. The idea is for you to explore the situation, the problem, ask the child questions, discuss. If two children are involved in an argument, and you start to find out from one of them what is going on, the second may begin to interrupt. “Wait, let's listen to him, let's try to understand what he says - turn to the one who interrupts. “Each of us will have a chance to speak, and together we will try to understand what happened.” But if you feel like you're not in the right mood, you're tired of kids arguing, if you feel like you can't make time for a discussion right now, don't do anything. Just take the kids away different sides and say you'll deal with it later. Commandment 3: All parents are bad and imperfect. All mothers and fathers are bad and imperfect. They tell neighbors and friends that their children are wonderful. This is their obligation, but in reality parents are often frustrated, they do not know how to talk to their children, but in the eyes of other people they want to look perfect. The problem is not a crime, not a sin, it is simply reality. We are people, children are people. When there are people, there are problems because we are complex beings. Therefore, parents are always unhappy, they want what is not there, they think about perfection and want to be better, to be number one. Remove perfectionism! It makes life easier. Commandment 4: Don't Pressure Your Children with Your Expectations A big problem for parents is having expectations for their child. We put pressure on children to achieve what we expect. It's good to have moral values ​​and pass them on to your child, but when it becomes an obsession, you make the child's life miserable and then it no longer makes sense. Wanting something is not a problem. The problem is obsession, this is Buddhist philosophy. Example. There is such a problem: parents want their child to be the best in the class. But there are 30 children in the class, and from each child his parents want him to be the best. There's a slight logical problem here: not every child can be the best. Someone has to accept that their child will be number two or even number 30. Parents can accept that they will be number 30, but not their child. Then such parents come to me with the question: “I don’t understand the child, he is angry with me.” I begin to investigate the situation, and find that the parent cannot accept that his child is not the best. But some children don't like school, some don't study well. Mom has a recipe: all he (the child) needs is to work more. The child is raised to be unable to accept failure. Then we have many teenagers who commit suicide due to failing exams. A mother came to me whose child is not gifted in mathematics. She saw this as a problem. I said, “Suppose your child is not good at hockey. Would you tell him that he has to work harder to become a hockey champion? She replied, "No, that doesn't make sense." “If it doesn't make sense in hockey, why don't you accept it in school? – I asked. – Your child is who he is. School is not the end of the world, although it is important. There are many people who lead wonderful life, but are not champions at school.” Example. Some parents say, “I just want my child to be happy.” Most likely, you are not very happy and hope that the child will do something that you cannot. Parents cannot afford for their child to be unhappy. Then they cannot calmly respond to the baby's crying. They start to organize a circus, run to the child, hug him. The problem is again in the compulsive aspect (obsession). The child fell and cried. Maybe he's crying because he was surprised by the unexpectedness of the fall. Ask him: “Are you hurt? Did you hurt something? What if he stops crying right away? But if you grab him right away, he will start crying harder, and next time he can use this. Commandment 5: Remember that a child is not a toy Parents have a tendency to forget about thinking and just follow feelings. On one book exhibition While I was talking to the girl, her mother stood behind her and played with her hair. When the girl and I tried to discuss something, my mother kissed her and hugged her. “How can she think? – I asked my mother. - She can't concentrate. You are very good mom, but a child is not a toy.” Commandment 6: Be honest with your child To speak with a child, you need to teach him the truth. “Not always” is a lying word. “Yes” or “no” – such answers should be given to questions. To think together, you need to stop lying. Commandment 7: Don't complicate Complication – typical problem thinking. Because parents make certain things difficult, they choose not to talk to their child about these things. I noticed that very often families do not talk to their children about lying or only talk about it when they want to scold them. This is because parents paint lies in terrible colors. Commandment 8: Answer first, then explanation Explaining before an answer or instead of an answer is nonsense, it is a way to escape. Example. “Did you break a glass?” – you ask. “Let me explain everything to you,” says the child. Answer first! Yes or no? Then an explanation. Commandment 9: Be flexible You must be flexible. When I talk to a child and want him to think, I have to keep coming up with questions, going back, asking the same things differently. If I am not flexible, I will not achieve the desired result. Commandment 10: Do not belittle a child's thinking When you approach a child's thinking with pity, nothing will work. If you give him the opportunity, he will learn something. During “sessions” we discuss complex issues with children. To some observers (adults), our discussion seems like pressure on the child; they feel sorry for children who experience discomfort or withdraw during a conversation with me. Obviously, with such children, parents did not talk at home about the topics that I raised. But after 3-4 times it will no longer be difficult for the child. Example. A child learns to ride a bicycle. The first lesson is terrible. Don't be afraid that it's difficult for him. Try again. After 5-6 lessons you will not be able to remove it from the bike. You need to go through this with him. If you accept that you cannot satisfy your child, he will learn. Why don't parents like talking to their children? It's painful. At first, the child discovers something that is important to him, from the outside it may look like a small drama, but drama is a way of learning. Chekhov in his works allows us to discover human soul, but it's not funny. Why then do we watch his plays, why is Chekhov considered a great writer? He helps us understand ourselves. There is no need to be afraid of drama, otherwise you will only go to comedies.

“Listen to adults”, “be obedient”... Have you tried to count how often your child hears such phrases? When giving gifts: “grow up smart, listen to your mother”; at every failed attempt do something: “Listen to me - I warned you!!!”... In general, obedience to adults is probably the most frequently required behavior from a child!

What happens in adult life? It turns out that there is no one else to obey - because none of those around you is going to act as a “mentor and guide”! What is most necessary turns out to be just the opposite - ability to think for oneself! Because on one's own without losing parental control over him?!

Is the pedagogical strategy “Listen to your mother, she won’t give you bad advice” correct?

Let's say right away - It is easier to achieve blind obedience from a child than to teach him to think and draw the right conclusions!

It is quite possible that the “carrot and stick” method is as old as the world from the very beginning small age to teach the child to follow the instructions of adults (and always act as previously ordered in similar situations) – his inevitable duty. The result of such education is “ mama's boy"(in all aspects of this concept)!

And here mothers who demand obedience usually have a question: why is this so bad?

Because I really I teach the child such rules of behavior that will help him avoid mistakes, don't get into difficult situation etc? And this pure truth– mothers do not want bad things for their children and, with the best intentions, teach them to do everything correctly and well!

What is the mistake - after all, an obedient child has a better chance of adopting adult wisdom, which he himself would probably have thought of much later? And the incident is that the child, acting correctly, at the same time, he may not really understand why he is doing this! Relatively speaking, not “I won’t play with matches because I’ll start a fire,” but “I won’t take matches because my mother will find out and kill me!”

For the time being, the system works - the child does not do anything bad or wrong. And then one day the thought inevitably occurs to him that everything prohibited can be done secretly or even openly and demonstratively– in the form of a protest against an unmotivated ban, etc.!

In addition, no mother can guarantee that she has “programmed” her child for all possible life situations! One fine day something will happen to which you will need to react - but there is no ready answer, Mom didn’t say anything like that, you have to think for yourself!..

But the child was not taught to think independently - and he makes a stupid mistake...

Conclusion: don't learn from other people's mistakes.

To everyone kids have to make their own mistakes and develop your own arsenal of life experience! That's right active thinking is activated, logic and creativity develop.

Want something (the ability to listen to your desires), think about how to achieve it (creativity, logic), try to do it (active life position), perhaps make a mistake (experience - understanding how something works), think and try Also, achieve success or remember for a long time that you don’t need to do this at all, the consequences are bad!

It’s much easier for an “obedient” child: to want to, get slapped on the wrist and shouted that this is not possible, stop wanting to try anything at all, after a while forget the parent’s instructions and do something stupid...

At what age should independent thinking be fostered?

The need to teach a child to think is, in principle, recognized by most parents. But how often is a completely illogical mistake made - parents keep their child “on a short leash” until a certain age, and then suddenly, at one fine moment, they decide that he is already big enough and needs to require him to think independently!

But it is unrealistic to want exactly the opposite things from a child: to follow orders in spite of own desires and think for yourself why, how and what to do!

Teaching a child to think necessary from a very young age (of course, taking into account age-related capabilities).

How to teach a child to think rather than follow directions?

I think everyone who has ever encountered a small child has already thought - is it possible? it is possible to refuse the requirement of obedience? Children are constantly messing around, playing pranks, and clearly don’t fit into “correct” (from an adult’s point of view) behavior! And if you give a child the opportunity to do whatever he wants, he will probably quickly do something stupid (it’s good if it’s safe!).

This is all true - of course, a child cannot understand everything that an adult knows about life, and he needs to be informed!

Certainly, the first prohibitions in a child’s life are based precisely on limiting him from those dangers, which he won’t think of on his own! You shouldn’t want a three-year-old to understand, for example, where the fire comes from in a gas stove and why you can’t turn the knobs on the stove - but you need to stop him from playing with this household appliance!

But still, what rules of education should you stick to it if you want to teach your child to think for himself?

• If possible, Explain to your child why you forbid something (or vice versa, force him to do something)), what are negative consequences wrong actions. In the example with the stove, first stop the baby, and then at least show him how the piece of paper burns in the fire!
• Give your child the right to make mistakes! In many cases, your own negative experience teaches better than the most sensible explanations! So, if there is no immediate danger, let the child try to do something wrong and see negative consequences(break a toy, offend a friend, fail to learn homework and get a bad grade, etc.).
• If you think that it is too early to give explanations for any prohibition and the child will not understand them due to his age, then at least don't motivate the ban(“If I see you, I’ll give you a belt!”). Just stop baby every time he tries to do something forbidden, at some point he will remember that he was told “Don’t do this” and will not do it. And then gradually he begins to think - why not do it? This is how a child learns to think - which is what is worth striving for!
• Don't scare your child or give fantastic explanations(like “if you know a lot, you’ll grow old early!” or “Don’t go there, it’s a joke!”). Firstly, it is as uninformative as a ban without explanation, and secondly, it does not allow the child to think when operating true facts. And sooner or later, the innocent parental fantasy will be revealed, and the child will joyfully violate what only naivety previously held him back from!
• Reason with your child, give him logical problems to think about! This can be done simply in the course of ordinary everyday communication: raise all sorts of topics - from “What would happen if dogs could talk” to “How would you respond if someone called you a name?” an offensive word at school" (this is already akin to psychological training), etc. The more the child is interested in the phenomena of the world around him, the easier it is for the child to learn to think creatively and logically!

You can teach a child to think independently only if you give him the opportunity to do this as often as possible, without replacing long (from an adult’s point of view) reasoning with independent conclusions with ready-made instructions!

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