The only teenager 15. Psychological characteristics of children in adolescence

Parents of teenagers need to understand and accept that during this period the teenager’s personality undergoes changes, there is a struggle between childhood and growing up, awareness of oneself as an individual. It is at this time that teenagers really need the help of caring and loving parents that will help them enter adulthood.

The key question that a child asks himself at this age is “Who am I?” This period is called the formation of the “I-concept” that will accompany the child throughout his life.

Physical development of the child

IN adolescence the formation of the skeleton, nervous, endocrine, and cardiovascular systems continues.

During this period it is necessary to pay special attention to prevent various types of curvature in connection with the development skeletal system body: it becomes stronger than in younger age, but the ossification of the spine, chest, pelvis and limbs is not yet complete. Incorrect posture when a teenager is sitting at a table is especially harmful: pulmonary ventilation becomes difficult, oxygen supply to the brain decreases, and spinal curvature is fixed.

It should be taken into account that if at this age special attention is not paid to the development of dexterity, plasticity and beauty of movements, then in the subsequent period it is usually more difficult to master them, and the awkwardness and angularity of movements inherent in a teenager can persist for life.

The nervous system of a teenager is still in the formative stage and is relatively imperfect. Therefore, during this period it is so important to protect the teenager from sudden overwork and regulate the load on his fragile nervous system.

In addition, during puberty, the body of adolescents begins to produce sex hormones, which leads to significant mood swings.

Intellectual development

A teenager aged 14–16 is already a practically formed intellectual personality with own opinion on various issues. Teenagers are quite capable of reasoning, expressing their thoughts, and giving reasons for them. More and more time in their lives begins to be taken up by serious matters, and less and less time is allocated to rest and entertainment. Logical memory begins to actively develop. Due to the appearance of new educational subjects The amount of information that a teenager must remember increases significantly.

Psychological development

Along with mental changes caused exclusively by hormonal influences, adolescents also experience deeply psychological, personal changes that occur unevenly: in a teenager, both childish traits and behavioral stereotypes and adult ones are simultaneously present. The teenager rejects childish behavioral stereotypes, but does not yet have adult clichés. Since the need for recognition of one’s own adulthood in adolescence is maximum, and the social situation, according to by and large, does not change, this can cause numerous conflicts with parents and teachers.

During this period, psychologists recommend talking more with your child, remembering that this is no longer a child, but an adult who is looking for his own path. When talking to him, do not use categorical forms, do not show his intellectual immaturity, and do not be overly intrusive.

8 rules of behavior with a teenager 14–16 years old

1. Don’t impose your point of view

In late adolescence, a child develops his own taste in clothing, music, cinema and other manifestations of art. Naturally, the child’s preferences may not coincide with the parents’ preferences.

This is not a reason to try to dissuade a teenager and deny his choice. It is best to listen and try to understand the interests of a growing person. This will only add trust to your relationship with him.

2. Be prepared to say no to some family activities.

Teen spirit is the spirit of denial. Hormones spur a teenager to go against all odds. And if three years ago a child loved family trips with younger sister, then now he can refuse them.

He is no longer afraid of the prospect of being alone at home. At the same time, having initially refused to participate in a holiday or some other family event, a teenager may quickly change his mind. This happens more often if parents take the refusal calmly and do not try to persuade the child.

Listen and try to understand the interests of a growing person

3. Give your teen space

It is very important for a teenager to know that he has his own space. A place where he can put personal belongings, books that no one will move or rearrange.

Learn to knock when entering a teenager's room. Even if you've never done this before. Keeping your child growing will help avoid conflict situations.

4. Set a good example

Bad habits of parents are instantly reflected in children. If a mother or father allows themselves to drink alcohol or smoke in front of a teenager, he believes that he can afford the same. The authority of a parent who is susceptible to addiction is undermined.

The same can be said about moral qualities. If parents lie to relatives and colleagues and commit unseemly acts, then the teenager will either behave the same way or completely distance himself from his parents.

5. Help shape your own worldview

Parents should encourage their teenagers to think individually. If a child takes sides in a peer conflict, try to build a dialogue with him. “Do you really think that your friend is right?”, “What would you do?”

In any questions, ask him to express his opinion so that he feels like a full member of the family, on whom the choice of a place to go on vacation or celebrate an anniversary depends.

Open reproach of the people in whose circle the teenager moves will entail either a protest on his part, or the fact of communication with “undesirable” friends will be hidden from the parents. The only right decision is to allow the child to see for himself the negative qualities of certain peers. And, if this happens, support the teenager, perhaps by telling about a similar example from your life.

7. Let your teen take responsibility for their mistakes.

Even those parents who provide their child with enough freedom tend to take responsibility for his unseemly or incorrect actions. Instead, you should let your teen figure things out on his own. If he accidentally breaks a friend’s phone, he must earn money to repair it. If you received a bad grade in a quarter, you must negotiate with the teacher to correct it.

If a child accidentally breaks a friend’s phone, he must earn money to repair it himself

The teenager does not control his mood. Hormones do it instead. It is useless and not pedagogical to be offended or quarrel with him. It may also affect his interpersonal relationships in the future.

Therefore, it is best to explain to the child what causes his emotions and teach him to express anger calmly, with the help. And restrain yourself. In the end, adolescence tends to end.

Elena Kononova

The only teenager sentenced to capital punishment in the USSR was 15-year-old Arkady Neyland, who grew up in a dysfunctional family in Leningrad. Arkady was born in 1949 in working family, his mother was a nurse in a hospital, his father worked as a mechanic. Since childhood, the boy did not eat enough to eat and suffered beatings from his mother and stepfather. At the age of 7, he ran away from home for the first time, finding himself registered in the children's room of the police. At the age of 12, he ended up in a boarding school, soon ran away from there, after which he took the path of crime.

In 1963 he worked at the Lenpishmash enterprise. He was repeatedly taken to the police for theft and hooliganism. Having escaped from custody, he decided to take revenge on the police by committing a terrible crime, and at the same time get money to go to Sukhumi and start there new life. On January 27, 1964, armed with an ax, Neiland went in search of a “rich apartment.” In house No. 3 on Sestroretskaya Street, he chose apartment 9, the front door of which was upholstered in leather. Posing as a postal worker, he ended up in the apartment of 37-year-old Larisa Kupreeva, who was here with her 3-year-old son. Neiland closed front door and began beating the woman with an ax; the radio he turned on at full volume drowned out the victim’s screams. Having dealt with his mother, the teenager killed her son in cold blood.

Then he ate food found in the apartment, stole money and a camera, with which he took several photos. murdered woman. To hide traces of the crime, he set fire to the wooden floor and turned on the gas in the kitchen. However, firefighters who arrived on time quickly extinguished everything. The police arrived and found the murder weapon and Neyland's prints.

Witnesses said they saw the teenager. On January 30, Arkady Neyland was detained in Sukhumi. He immediately confessed to everything he had done and told how he killed the victims. He only felt sorry for the child he killed and thought that he would get away with everything because he was still a minor.

On March 23, 1964, by a court decision, Neyland was sentenced to death, which was contrary to the law of the RSFSR, according to which capital punishment was applied only to persons aged 18 to 60 years. Many approved of this decision, but the intelligentsia condemned the violation of the law. Despite various requests to commute the sentence, the sentence was carried out on August 11, 1964.

It is possible to explain human cruelty, but what to do with inhuman cruelty?.. In the Tver region, a 14-year-old schoolboy brutally dealt with his foster family: he killed his grandmother with an ax, and his mother with a knife. Below are five examples of the most horrific murders committed by children.

Vladimir Vinnichevsky, 15 years old, is the youngest serial killer in the USSR, who was sentenced to death

The story of this fanatic is chilling and nauseating. The human brain is unable to comprehend such atrocities. The boy with the sweet face was born in Sverdlovsk (now Yekaterinburg) in 1923 and began killing at 15. He killed and raped children aged from two and a half to four years. There are 18 known attacks, eight of which ended in the death of children - he strangled them, and then sophisticatedly finished them off with knives. Monster for a long time could not be caught, but in the end he was detained by three cadets of the Sverdlovsk police school - the killer was carrying little boy to the forest. The rapist was shot in 1940.

Arkady Neyland, 15 years old, is the only teenager who was shot in the USSR after the war

The boy was born in 1949 in Leningrad. Arkady with his mother, stepfather and two stepbrothers huddled in one room in a communal apartment. Parents beat their children, drank, and lived poorly. Already at 12, the minor thief was registered with the police. At the age of 15, Arkady committed a heinous crime, for which he was sentenced to death. He wanted to rob the apartment and entered there under the guise of a postman. The teenager dealt the 37-year-old housewife 15 blows with an ax, six blows to her little son Georgiy. Leaving behind a bloody mess, the killer had breakfast, took several erotic photographs of the deceased, set fire to the apartment and left. The criminal was shot on Khrushchev’s personal order.

Mary Flora Bell, 11 years old, UK

The girl committed her first crime in 1968, the day before her 11th birthday. She killed four-year-old Martin Brown. A few months later, Mary and her friend took the life of another baby. Police reports indicate that she returned to the crime scene to carve the letter M into the body of the deceased and cut off part of the genitals with scissors. Mary spent 12 years in prison, then was released, changed her name and gave birth to a child.

Jessie Pomeroy, 14 years old, USA

Jesse, who was soon given the nickname “Young Boston Monster,” was arrested at the age of 14 (in 1897) for the brutal murder of a four-year-old child. But three years earlier, the criminal had brutally abused and tortured seven other boys. For which he was sent to a children's reform school. The teenager was released quite soon, and he mutilated and killed a 10-year-old girl who went into his mother's store. A month later, he kidnapped a child, took him to a swamp outside the city and cut him with a knife until the baby’s head fell off. When he was shown the body and asked if he considered himself guilty, the scumbag replied: “It seems I did it.”".

Jasmine Richardson, 12 years old, Canada

In 2006, a 12-year-old girl killed her parents, then slit her brother's throat and watched him bleed among toys. And then she disappeared. The police who found the bodies were initially afraid that the girl had also become a victim of a maniac. But soon Jasmine was found along with her 23-year-old boyfriend. The killer expressed no regrets.

Specifics: normal communication within the family has been practically reduced to nothing. Almost any attempts by my parents, stepfather, or mine to reach him do not bring any results. All methods of influence were tried: long, calm conversations, which he still reduced to a scandal. and loud aggressive swearing, and communication with all teachers in order to find out the problem. On at the moment he is completely deprived of monetary allowance and any entertainment; at home, he only engages in correspondence on social networks.

The main points, in my opinion:
- Complete absence desire to make contact with loved ones, in a private conversation with me the following phrase sounded: “If they (parents) go to another city, leave me here (in the apartment) and just send me money, I will be happy, I won’t see them anymore I can, I won't be bored."
- Lack of attraction to the opposite. not even to your own sex.
- Demonstrative denial of the opinion of any person who disagrees with him.
- A strange story he made up for the school psychologist about that. that he is supposedly adopted, etc.
- A struggle of several contradictions at once: he wants to live beautifully and richly, but he deliberately and regularly bites the “feeding hand” and declares that he does not need his parents’ help. At the same time, he does not strive to achieve anything on his own, has every chance of not being admitted to the 10th grade, and does not have any serious interests or hobbies other than the Internet.
- Periodic, casual mentions of suicide.
- I watched my brother after several very strong scandals that he inflated from simple conversation, pissing off your mother, stepfather or father. Returning to his room after a strong scolding, he always looks very happy and satisfied, that’s how I could describe a person. who just had a delicious lunch. A very strange observation, in my opinion.

Actually, I would like to understand whether this is just a difficult transitional age or something more serious? After all, at the age of 16, the transitional age is already ending (?). The child is moving more and more away from the family and I don’t see any hope for improvement.
Should I take him to a psychologist?

I’m just worried about the family, about the mother, who is so desperate to cope with him that she is almost ready to forcefully send him to a military boarding school so that he can be “broken” there, as if nothing helps. So at least try a radical way.

This is my first time writing to you and I will respond to comments.

Features of the psychology of a teenager - 16 years old

A sixteen-year-old teenager is the most difficult test for parents.

It was this age that defined the term “difficult” as applied to adolescents in general.
All the antagonistic contradictions and difficulties of adolescence pour out at this time as if from a cornucopia. Just have time to “lay down the straws” so that those whom their parents consider are still children do not get into too many troubles.
However, as many professionals who have experienced this difficult period of their lives believe, the difficulty of this age is due, first of all, to the fact that it is difficult for the teenager himself to fit in with his new dimensions (and not only physical parameters) V the world around us.

It is incredibly difficult for sixteen-year-olds to come to terms with themselves in a new capacity: no longer a child, but not yet quite an adult.

The following are distinguished: characteristic features 16 year olds:

At the level of self-awareness, their worldview is actively being formed, while a stable “concept of selfhood” is already fully formed, as a result of which the assessments of those around 16-year-olds are no longer of much concern;

In terms of cognitive activity, at this age professional interests begin to form, skills to manage other people, even provocations, appear;

There is an increasing need for a cohesive team of people united common interests, it is precisely at this age that cases of mass protests and actions against anything are typical;

Formation of sexuality and own views the problems associated with these reach their final stage;

The only positive for parents: teenagers at the age of 16 become more balanced emotionally, their actions are more consistent and not as impulsive as before.

So, the main problems and difficulties are listed. All that remains is to decide how to overcome these problems with the least losses for both sides.

The simplest and most effective way to help in this situation is keeping a diary.

In this treasured notebook, a teenager often writes down everything that happens to him, and in the future has the opportunity to analyze all this information, moving it some distance away in time. Often this method helps to see own mistakes and do not repeat them in the future.

Most best gift For a 16-year-old teenager, this is a beautifully designed daily diary, complemented by an elegant pen in the same style.

The teenager becomes an adult.
At this age, many already experience their first love, and perhaps their first disappointments. For some teenagers, this age means the emergence of sexual relations. But don’t panic: not everyone at sixteen is ready to take this step.

However, parents should start conversations about sex so that the child is aware of all the consequences. If dad or mom can’t start a conversation, then you can buy appropriate literature and give it to the child.
A teenager must understand that this is a period when he is responsible for all his actions. By the way, in Cuba this age is considered adulthood.

At this age, the psychology of a teenager is more extensive and multifaceted.

In addition to physical, sexual, hormonal changes, there are other features - the child begins to pay attention to philosophy.
His outlook on life changes noticeably. And those issues that did not bother him before are now coming to the fore.
During this period, a person may exaggerate his abilities, as everything looks simpler, more accessible and rosy. This is the psychology of a teenager.

16 years is a huge layer in which there is a lot of faith, desire, and aspirations.

The man is at his peak emotional development.

Many parents find it very difficult to accept the need to “let go” of a teenager and they perceive this behavior of a teenager as rebellion and protest, although, in fact, their children are simply growing up.

This is the age at which it is very important for a teenager to be accepted by you as parents. At this stage, it is important to be able to listen to the teenager and trust his Choice...

To be able to listen is not to lecture, not to criticize, not to threaten and not to say offensive phrases. Teenagers learn from their own choices. As long as the consequences of this choice do not threaten their health and life, do not interfere, but on the contrary, show a positive interest in the teenager’s life, be interested in her friends, but with POSITIVE side.

For a conversation with a teenager to be effective, it is important for you, as a parent, to be able to differentiate your feelings and speak openly to the teenager about them. What do I mean? For example, if your daughter came home late, you might say, “I was really worried because I was afraid something had happened to you,” or “I'm worried and worried about you. So, I was really worried when you came home late.” , which you told me about. I thought that perhaps you had some problems and needed help."

Such judgmental expressions as: “Where have you been?”, “Why so late?” will certainly cause anger and aggression in the teenager and are unlikely to lead to a constructive conversation.

A young man, and especially a teenager, easily idealize the people around him and the relationships between them, but quickly become disillusioned with them as soon as they discover incomplete compliance with a biased and inflated ideal.

Such maximalism is a consequence of the desire for self-affirmation; it gives rise to the so-called black and white logic. Black-and-white logic, maximalism and little life experience lead young people to exaggerate the originality of their own experience. It seems to them that no one has loved, suffered, or fought as much as they have.

However, their parents, being at the mercy of the tastes and habits of their own youth, absolutizing and considering only their habits and tastes as the only correct ones, do not set an example of a reasonable attitude to reality based on a sober assessment of the significance of events, elevating questions about the width of trousers and the length of hair to the level of problems. , style of dance, style of music and songs.
These problems are as old as time. Even Aristophanes in the comedy “Clouds” described the conflict between a reasonable, well-intentioned father and a frivolous long-haired son.
In response to his father’s request to sing something from the ancient authors - Simonides or Aeschylus - the son calls these poets outdated and stilted. When the son turns to modern art and reads a monologue from Euripides, the old man loses his temper, seeing in it bad taste and immorality

Adults are sometimes outraged or, at best, surprised by the desire of young men to dress and behave “like everyone else,” even to the detriment of their own attractiveness and material capabilities.
These actions demonstrate the increased significance for them of a sense of belonging to a certain group: academic, sports, etc. And in order to be completely “at home” in a group, you need to look like everyone else and share common hobbies.
Inner world another person can be understood only if you pay attention and respect to him, accepting him as an independent, worthy person with his own views and his own life experience.
This is what the most common and completely fair complaint of boys and girls about their parents sounds like: “They don’t listen to me!”

Haste, inability and unwillingness to listen to your own child, to delve into what is happening in the complex youth world, inability to look at the problem from the perspective young man, smug confidence in the infallibility of one’s life experience - all this can create a psychological barrier between parents and children.
This barrier can be strengthened by both parents and children. Parents may have the idea that there is no value system for their child, which, naturally, does not bring them closer together.

Why does such a frightening illusion arise?
When parents are unable to perceive their child, now a young man, as an independent person and there is no mutual understanding in the family, then the young man gives exaggerated great value your interactions with peers.
In the case when a young man’s family and the peer group that is significant to him with whom he communicates are guided by various systems values, family values ​​are denied, which creates the impression that the young man has no values ​​at all.
This illusion is a consequence of the one-sidedness and narrow-mindedness of parents who for too long have perceived their children as dependent and in need of petty care.

Parents also erect a barrier between themselves and the child when they abuse ethical requirements, suggesting that all other people except him are virtuous
Such teachings repel young people, who are especially sensitive to any discrepancy between word and deed.
Performance requirement moral standards is perceived without internal protest if it is said that not all people are yet moral, but it is necessary to make efforts to improve one’s own morality.
Don’t be afraid to have serious discussions with growing children negative aspects life.
Maturity in a person comes when he understands that life knows no drafts, that everything is finalized.

Note to parents
Don't be afraid of adolescence. This is an inevitable stage in the life of every person. And if you want to soften this time, try to understand why the child acts this way and not otherwise.

The psychology of a teenager may seem strange and unpredictable to you, but this is absolutely not the case. Only you are capable, like no one else, of understanding your child and helping him overcome this period. For him it is perhaps even harder than for you. After all, a teenager is just beginning to understand himself and those around him, and all changes are complex and incomprehensible to him

But seriously, everything that has been said is necessary for parents precisely so that they, in turn, also begin to relate to the sometimes unpleasant moments that occur in their relationships with teenagers from the point of view of a pilot who is warned about all possible pitfalls and shoals, capable of leading a family boat through all the storms and troubles to the cherished quiet haven of established and friendly relations.

Source MedVesti.