How to become an interesting conversationalist for others. How to be an interesting conversationalist in any situation

Anvar Bakirov

What to talk about when there is nothing to talk about?

It’s simple, if a man came up, said a couple of “genius” compliments, asked for a phone number and ran about his business. Then for the next meeting he will at least be prepared, and you will have something to talk about.

What if you met in a cafe or on an airplane, and you have a long conversation ahead of you? After all, depending on how pleasant and meaningful this conversation turns out to be, you will draw conclusions about him, and he – about you. It’s good when you get a balabol, who, with his ability to chatter about everything in the world, will make the conversation both interesting and fun. What if not?

Then the pleasure of the conversation is your concern. Now it depends on you whether the interlocutor will tell you something exciting, or you will lazily exchange phrases about the weather, whether he will open up with best sides or it will turn out to be a pale shadow of itself. Because you have all the tools to structure the conversation the way you need.

There are some simple but very important rules, based on the simple idea that, to put it mildly, you don’t know each other very well and it’s not a fact that you will continue communication:

Once again, your goal is to leave a good impression and find an opportunity to continue communication. More precisely, make him really want to meet again. Whether you want to is the second question. But to become the mistress of the situation, you need to solve the first question.

The fundamentals that you need to master are assignment technology open questions. What is an open question? This is a question that requires a lot of talking to answer. By contrast, there are still closed questions, the answer to which is “yes” or “no”, and alternative, offering several options to choose from.

Closed question- This is a way to get quick confirmation along the way and continue to develop your idea. Is this clear? How to throw a ball at a wall. Throw, and you have it again. Still closed questions are suitable for confirming the agreements reached. You'll pick me up tomorrow at eight o'clock in the evening, right?

Alternative question– this is a classic helper method of manipulation, when we are offered to make a choice between options, each of which suits us. Is this also clear or do you need to re-read this paragraph again to understand? A person thinks that he chooses, but he will make decisions about what is unprincipled for us.

Conversational hypnosis in action.

What questions will be open?

Any starting with question words. Who, when, why, why, how, where, what, which... Practice:

What films do you like?
How do you spend your free time?
Which movie characters are you closest to?
What do you value most in women?
Where did you learn French?

He answers, and you can ask questions to clarify, clarify and justify his words. Why do you think so? Why did you choose this option? How did you find this agency? Find what you are unclear about and ask a question. What could be simpler!

A few years ago, I dropped in on a training session with a colleague. I was allowed to sit for no more than half an hour, because a colleague noticed that most of the group began to address me rather than her, although I did not say a word. Of course, it was self-indulgence, but how did I do it? By using supportive hearing. Whenever someone in the group spoke, I turned my body towards him, made eye contact and nodded slightly in time with his speech. All! The effect is amazing!

It has been tested many times: a person can talk for hours, provided that his interlocutor listens correctly. How? Expressing your attention and support. What exactly needs to be done?

Shut up. Just stop interrupting him and interjecting with your remarks.
Look. Turn towards him, look almost at his mouth, but it’s better just towards his face or at his gestures. Open your eyes a little wider. You can open your mouth slightly and tilt your head slightly to the side. It won't resist!
Nod. He says - you nod. At the same pace. In the same rhythm.
Assent. In each of his pauses you insert your “Yes”, “Uh-huh”, “Yeah”, “So”, “Okay”, “Mmm-mm”...
Feedback. When he speaks emotionally, respond with your emotions - “Great!”, “Wow!”, “Wow!”, “Really?!”, “Fantastic!”...
push. He thought, you immediately: “And then?”, “And then what?”, “What about her?”, “And what did you do?”
Specify. Ask clarifying and clarifying questions - “What is...?”, “Why did you choose...?”, “Why do you need...?”

In general, try to hear and understand. Find commonalities. Find an opportunity to agree. You will still have time to argue and even quarrel. And now - search common places. Search for agreement.

By the way, what should you do if he starts a topic that you would like to stop? First, stop supporting listening - distract yourself, step back, tune out. Then change the topic to a more appropriate one. How? A question, of course. However, we will talk about this later.

Firstly, he will tell you himself if you ask. Secondly, if you use supportive listening, he will somehow be drawn into his favorite topics. Thirdly, the method of sorting through topics will help you, but there are also some tricks.

For example, you may notice that people often do not so much answer the question as they express their thoughts and feelings. You ask what kind of cars he likes, he answers that on such roads you need to drive a tractor or a tank. Great! Its theme is roads. You ask what time it is, he says, and adds that there is more than enough time. Amazing! A good reason to discuss your immediate plans.

Just keep track what question is the person actually answering?, and you will understand what topic worries him now. Important note! This way you can fall into one of the problematic topics, so we carefully monitor his emotions. We develop positive interest. Sorrowful - we stop.

In general, observing the reactions of the interlocutor is the most important skill of a successful communicator. It needs to be constantly improved. Talk about cats - watch the reaction. Talk about the holiday - watch the reaction. Talk about training – watch the reaction. Whatever you talk about, watch the reaction! If he gets “switched on”, “lit up”, and filled with enthusiasm on some topic, develop it. If at the mention of something he turns sour, gets bored and begins to get distracted, change the topic.

What to do if a topic that interests him is not interesting to you? This should not be allowed, because if you yourself are bored, it will very quickly show on your face, and all techniques of supportive listening will be significantly less effective. What to do? Remember the principle alternative question? He must choose from those options that suit us. There is a range of topics that interest you. It is among them that we choose what to talk about. Speaking mathematical language, we are looking for intersections in our areas of interest. What is interesting to both is the desired topic. But to find it, you need to look. Those. Change topics regularly and watch the reaction.

In NLP, all methods of changing the topic of conversation are divided into three main categories: start talking about more, start talking about less, move along analogies. What does this look like in practice? Let's say you notice that he is not inspired by the discussion of the singer's latest album "Maxim", how can you change the topic?

Enlargement. From the latest album “Maxim” you can enlarge the topic to the entire work of “Maxim”, or even more to the entire stage, even more to art in general. And after just a couple of phrases you are already quite far from the original topic.
Detailing. From the same album, you can move to a discussion of a specific song or melodic transition, or a voice, or the intro of a song.
Bias. If the work of “Maxim” does not inspire him, you can start discussing the singer herself and her figure, or you can shift to the work of the group “Time Machine” or the artist Aivazovsky.

With the right skill, you can easily and naturally move on to almost any topic, especially if you learn to combine these three techniques. Want an example? How to move away from the topic “Putin - best president» to the topic “Which cake is the most delicious”? Very simple! Putin is the best president, I generally prefer the best.

Both at work and at rest. For example, when we were on vacation in Spain, I saw the best cake of my life in the window of a pastry shop! And then about the cakes.

Changing the subject is easy! The main thing is to do this on time: not letting the conversation die out, not letting it go negative and avoiding getting hung up on one thing. Let's flutter! Easily! Like a butterfly!

So, you already know that the conversation should end on a peak of positive emotions. You can have him do more of the talking. You can find interesting topics and change them easily. You spread information about your resources and capabilities and get information from him.

What's the best way to end the conversation? What do you need to have in the “bottom line”? Several interesting topics that have been started but not exhausted. Your resources were mentioned several times, which somehow interested him. Understanding his interests. AND? Reason for the next meeting.

It’s best, of course, if he offers it himself, and you “substitute yourself” for it. How? He says he has a great movie on DVD - you say you'd like to watch it. Let him offer to meet to watch or to give away the disk. You mention that you haven’t been to the theater for a long time, he, in turn, has a chance to invite you. He shares that he can’t find a good tie to go with his suit, you tell him that you were just praised for your excellent taste. Let him ask for help in choosing! And so on.

A man who is looking for a reason for the next meeting will gladly seize any chance offered. But give him some allowance for his slow-wittedness and offer him some options. Stand style only. Let the initiative come from him!

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Self-development1-11-2014, 19:02 Sergey k12 521

How to become a good communicator

In the lives of many people, the process of communication takes up a very large part of the time. After all, the ability to speak, listen, read and write are the most important abilities that help to achieve success in life, ensure effective joint activities people. Therefore, it is very important to be able to conduct a dialogue correctly in order to achieve good results at work, in your personal life, and in communicating with loved ones and friends. Becoming good conversationalist, you will attract many people to you, learn to win over your interlocutors, and achieve the results you need.

1. Smile.

After all, any communication that begins with a smile already attracts a person to you. With a smile, you show that you are sincere and open to productive dialogue. It is worth mentioning that even when talking on the phone you can feel a smile.

2. There is something to talk about with anyone. It is necessary to determine what interests a person and start a conversation on this topic. There are very few people who are not interested in anything. In any case, we can talk about this man himself. Show attention to him, show sincere interest, and you will subsequently find many topics for conversation.

3. If they don’t understand you, it means you didn’t express yourself correctly and clearly enough. Construct your speech in such a way that everything is very clear to your interlocutor. Then you will stop getting annoyed and angry at the person who did not understand you or misunderstood you.

4. Give compliments. Feel free to show yourself as a positive person and encourage those around you. Remember that compliments should come from the heart. Blatant flattery will only push people away from you. However, don't be afraid to praise someone who did a great job. Thank those who cheered you up with a good joke. Compliment someone who is stylishly dressed. But we must not forget that everything should be in moderation.

5. Reception active listening. In this way you will show that you hear your interlocutor and understand what is being said in the conversation. Look at the person you are talking to, nod your head, comment on his story, but do not interrupt. Can you help me find necessary words and phrases when the interlocutor stumbles, ask questions, continue the thought. This will make it clear that you are interested in the person. And this will make them want to continue communicating with you.

6. Try to call the person you are talking to by name more often. As psychologists have proven, the sound of one’s own name is the most pleasant and sweet sound for the human ear. After all, a person is given a name at birth and he carries it throughout his long life.

7. Speak clearly and simply. Even if both you and your interlocutor have several higher education, do not use complex words in conversation scientific terms and revolutions. There is no need to try to give yourself some kind of dubious status through abstruse conversation. Any smart man will still understand how smart or stupid you are.

8. Do not interrupt your interlocutor and do not give advice that you are not asked for. Listen to the person until the end, and then comment on his words. This will show that you are interested in talking to him. By interrupting, you show your bad manners. If you feel the urge to give unsolicited advice, suppress this urge. Otherwise, the person will think that you consider yourself smarter than him, and this is an obstacle to successful communication.

9. The conversation should be interesting for you. If you have to carry on a conversation about something that is not interesting to you, try to understand the topic of the conversation. Otherwise, a person without feeling feedback, will stop talking.

10. Remove the pronoun “I” from the conversation. Everyone knows that all people are selfish by nature. And, as a rule, everyone wants to hear mainly about themselves. But this approach to communication is wrong. Try to use other shades of statements instead of combinations with the pronoun “I”. For example, instead of “I want”, say: “I would like” or “I would like.” This will slightly change your speech and endear your interlocutor to you.

A good conversationalist can be a person who is interested in the most various areas life, from fashion and style, to hunting and fishing. If there is no thirst for new knowledge, curiosity, interest in life in all its bright manifestations, then becoming a good conversationalist is quite difficult. After all, only by showing interest in your interlocutor, maintaining a conversation on any topic, showing your disposition towards him, you thereby form interest and an excellent attitude towards yourself.

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How to become an interesting conversationalist?

Everyday communication is an integral part of our lives. The ability to carry on a conversation is a necessary skill for any person.

Some people are so bright and cheerful that they attract and attract others to them like a magnet. However, not every one of us knows how to become interesting conversationalist. But if you are pleasant in communication, you can have good prospects in your life, not only in the field of dating and friendship, but also in career growth.

How to become an interesting person and conversationalist?

To understand how to become a good and pleasant conversationalist, it is worth considering some recommendations regarding this issue.

First of all, learn to listen and hear the person you are talking to. Most people love to talk about their lives, their interests, feelings and experiences, but finding someone who can listen is not easy. Also, never interrupt.
By listening carefully to your interlocutor, you can learn a lot about him and ask relevant questions accordingly. When he sees that they are sincerely interested in him, it becomes very pleasant and easy to communicate with such a person.
Sometimes you need to be able to sense what the other person wants to hear from you. Perhaps he needs words of sympathy or encouragement, or maybe he needs motivation in some area.
If you notice that a person knows how to do something well or is excellent at something, be sure to emphasize this advantage and praise it. Every person likes to be admired and told nice words.
However, this must be done sincerely, since false compliments only repel.

What to read to become an interesting conversationalist?

Reading books is a very useful activity for self-development. Also, thanks to it, our speech becomes much richer, and communication is much more interesting. Try to read more encyclopedias and memorize some interesting and fascinating facts. This can be very useful in conversations, and you will be able to maintain a conversation on any topic.

Studying books on psychology will help you better understand others. The book “How to Win Friends and Influence People?” Dale Carnegie will teach you how to easily and freely apply the principles of psychology in everyday communication With different people.

One of the main reasons girls refuse is uninteresting communication from a guy. Put yourself in their place - why should a girl give a phone number to such a guy, go on a date with him - and then strain listening to his whining, seeing his tightness, or endure awkward pauses and suggest topics for conversation - after all, even a girl who is more or less pretty has no complexes , and with a minimum of intelligence - there are usually several friends - fans, whom she specially keeps in reserve - so that they relieve her of boredom.

An important rule for being interesting is give a girl pleasure with your communication– How should this be done??? When communicating with a girl, you need to experience the pleasure yourself, for this, gain experience in seduction, courage and find the strength in yourself to do what you want and say what you want when communicating.
On a date, I wanted to stroke a girl’s hair - I stroked it.
I wanted to tell her a compliment about her tits - he said so.
If you want to refuse her, any of her requests, you refused, said No.

When you do this, you feel good, your psi energy is not wasted on an internal struggle with yourself - to say / not to say. And you are complete, calm, self-confident - these qualities are known to attract women.
This is also called arrogance - so yes, become arrogant because modest nerds are not in fashion these days.

How to become an interesting conversationalist for a girl, what is needed for good communication

And girls are absolutely not interested in the standard, socially acceptable behavior of most inexperienced guys; they have already heard their platitudes many times. Therefore, it is necessary to stand out - to be original - girls are attracted to the male - the owner of the original genes.

Remember - you are the leader, the girl follows you - if you feel high, she will be happy too. An important note about this point - making a girl happy does not mean pleasing her in everything, winning her over with gifts and agreeing with her in everything. Quite the opposite - you need to command the girl, make her agree with you - and she will be pleased, because, no matter what women say, they love it when the man is in charge in the relationship. This is our natural essence, and their natural essence is to be in the second role - when everyone is in their place - it is pleasant for him.

When communicating, behave differently from the way guys behave in television series - periodically challenge the girl with your behavior, do something that she is not ready for, say original words that she has not heard and you will definitely be for her interesting guy.
What does it mean to challenge a girl? - this means not playing by public rules of decency, but not giving a shit about them, playing according to your own - trying to paw up a girl, giving her open compliments, hinting at sex, staring at her, at other girls.
It doesn’t matter how long you’ve known each other - you can kiss a girl while you’re dating, you can get into her panties on the first date, you can take a girl straight from the street to your home - this high tempo your communication (if you act congruently and correctly) also arouses a certain interest, because girls dream of a guy with a spark and of depraved adventures.

In general, don’t let a girl take power into her own hands - to control girls, a little manipulation will help you - one of the methods be interesting in communication, this quick communication method- not only does it in itself show you as an original interlocutor, but it also confuses and disorients girls - and at such moments girls become pliable.
The essence of the method is that you just need to communicate quickly, keeping the initiative on your side, you need to communicate relaxedly and from the subconscious (don’t think about what to say - this comes with experience, or for inexperienced people, with acceleration of the psyche - in a resourceful state) - as in moments when you are with good friend, you actively explain something to him.
For example:
Let’s go there, there’s no better way there, but what do you like? (without waiting for her answer) I love it, etc. - It’s called chatterbox- look - on the Be Alpha website, there are several articles that give more examples. The chatterbox can also be used in telephone conversations, calling a girl on dates if she breaks down, and in general not only in seduction, but also in business negotiations and trade.

You will also be helped in this by pickup techniques closer and further, banter over the girl, bitch shield and ridicule that lowers princesses from the clouds to the ground.
Be the first to interrupt communication - it shows that you don’t need him and it hooks girls.
You feel that the girl wants to say something that you don’t need, quickly say something that will distract her.
Be different in your communication - active and passive, romantic and sexy, understanding and bantering.

Be original– let’s look at one of the components of interesting and original behavior – a crazy sense of humor, examples:
* You are walking with a girl in the park - a little girl runs into your girlfriend - tell your girlfriend - Yes, go ahead and kick the girl.
* Tell the religious girl who is holding the bag - do you have an inflatable Jesus in there?
* Or you are walking with a girl in public - take out a banknote and hand it to your girlfriend - say loudly (so other people can hear it) - Here, let's go to my house.
* Say hello to a girl you know with the phrase - Hello homeless woman.
etc.
Come up with your own jokes, it is advisable to be able to come up with them spontaneously - instantly to suit the situation.
Only with your jokes you can score a lot of points in picking up girls - and what else is important is humor - it removes a certain kind of excuse - after all, you don’t need money to joke :) - You just need practice in communicating with females and over time your delusion generator will be burn girls' brains from the first phrases of communication.

You need to be happy with yourself– Default to be in good mood, to do this, figure out your goals, throw out of your life those things that burden you and mind your own business - then you will be satisfied with your life and with your positive energy and charisma you will attract people to you.
Be yourself, a harmonious person - life is not only about girls, but also about other things - do them too.

Analyze your communication with women and memorize the dialogues - this, at the initial stages of your pickup journey, will eliminate ignorance of topics for conversation - you can retell what one girl told you to another. Also, after finishing the dialogue, think about how it could have been improved - what should have been said to you? How will you communicate next time? Also think about how this dialogue would have continued if it had not stopped? what should you say? what would you like her to say, so that you would answer her? – in short, train your brain to get used to communicating effectively and interestingly with girls.

It’s only beginner pick-up artists who have questions about what to talk about with a girl and they need to prepare topics, remember routines - in fact, these are three universal topics for an interesting conversation on a date.
1. You.
2. She.
3. Other people.
Well, think about it, your brains with her, throughout your entire life, contain so much information about the events that happened to you - that you can chat about them for days on end.
Just remember a few, preferably positive situations from your life and start telling the girl about them - then she will get involved, you can move on to other topics, ask her questions - like - “has this ever happened to you?”
Questions for a girl- examples
* Why are you studying at this particular faculty/working at this job - did you want to do this yourself?
*What do you dream about?
*What did you dream of as a child?
With questions, try to bring the conversation to deep topics - when a girl answers them, she opens up, which instills in her trust in you, and this brings you closer.
When communicating, remember the girl’s beliefs and her interests and try to speak to her in her language, or at least don’t criticize her worldview - try to support these topics, she will be pleased and interested in talking about what she likes and how she lives.
With an increase in the number of dates - you will no longer need any routines and templates - you will train yourself so that you will have wonderful dates without any preparation immediately after the moment of acquaintance. Also remember that conversation is only a small part of communication - body language, what is called non-verbal, voice intonation, gaze, and gestures play a big role in communication.

Let the girls speak out, as she speaks, remember what in her words you would like to continue the conversation on and develop it - after she has said, choose from what you remember the most interesting continuation for yourself and throw in this topic , ask a clarifying question, tell us how it was for you, etc.

Don’t be upset if the communication doesn’t go well - you should be in a resourceful state anyway, in order to either promote this communication, or to make an approach and start having an interesting conversation with another girl. Remember once and for all communication also depends on the girl - if she herself is slow, stupid, complex and you don’t like her at all - then you shouldn’t expect a pleasant pastime in the company of her. Just like in sex, if a girl doesn’t excite you, your dick doesn’t want to get up on her, but with another girl – a sexy bitch, a couple of glances are enough and your hero is worth it.

To be an interesting conversationalist, communicate with those girls who really sincerely interest you - while communicating with them, you are rushing from the inside - your brain gives out such sharp pearls that the girl next to you is simply happy.
The truth exists here reverse side medals called - “That same girl” - for many beginners, communication with such a girl who they like very much causes stupor, inhibitions, fears of her negative reaction, etc. – in general, the dialogues don’t go well. The solution is to stop being a beginner and think like an advanced seducer, namely, this girl, despite the fact that I really like her, is essentially the same as others, and in order to seduce her, I must communicate with her as well effective and interesting, as with others who were seduced before her.
Or think with a more motivating thought: If I don’t communicate effectively with this girl, I’ll lose her. + Besides this, don’t lose the tower and while you don’t have LTR for life, don’t forget to communicate with others beautiful girls– to keep yourself in shape and gain experience.

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Many people are interested in how to become an interesting conversationalist, what needs to be done for this, what methods, methods and recommendations there are. After all, being excellent and interesting is very useful when communicating; it allows you to be more confident, find new acquaintances, friends, and at the same time become better and more successful.

In this article you will learn how become interesting interlocutor, what are the secrets of psychologists, tips and recommendations to learn how to communicate with all people and be interesting to everyone. We are all different and each person needs a different approach; this article will help you develop this feeling if you apply all the advice in practice.

Learn to listen

To become an interesting conversationalist, you just need to learn to listen to the person who is communicating with you. We all love to talk about ourselves and our problems, and if you lower your ego and allow your interlocutor to express his thoughts and opinions, he will see that you know how to listen and you will become a better interlocutor for him, even if you personally do not know how to communicate either.

To become interesting interlocutor, you need not just to listen, but also to support the conversation with questions, your opinions, and words of support. This will inspire the other person to tell you even more about what is useful for you to know.

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As a result, you will get more benefit as you learn more information, and your interlocutor will also remain in a good mood, since he has found a pleasant listener for himself. Find out: how to become an interesting girl.

Talk about what people need, not what you need

To become an interesting conversationalist, stop being selfish and thinking only about yourself. Start the conversation by solving someone else's problems and end the conversation by solving your problems. Then you and your interlocutor will remain on excellent terms and solve all your and his problems. Many are only interested in their own problems and, as a result, cannot solve anything.

Be like your interlocutor

To become interesting interlocutor, you need to remember that people like people who are similar to them. Therefore, try to adapt to each interlocutor, while remaining confident in yourself. Copy the voice, tempo, intonation and behavior of the interlocutor and then it will become easier for him to communicate with you and you will find common language to solve problems.

Communicate with people more often

To become an interesting conversationalist, you need to try, experiment and not be afraid of being rejected. Fear prevents us from communicating with others and, accordingly, our self-confidence decreases. To raise it and become a better communicator, don't be afraid to communicate with by different people, don’t be afraid to impose yourself and try to help people. Communicate with those who share the same opinions about life with you and are interested in your advice and suggestions.

Use a smile

A smile is the main weapon and therefore to become an interesting conversationalist, use a smile in conversation, it allows you and your interlocutor to relax and begin to communicate more easily and calmly. But use a smile when it's appropriate, don't smile when it just looks ugly. But even with serious conversations you need to have someone present. sincere smile. Practice in front of a mirror, in public transport and just when you are walking on the street. Smile at people and then they will smile back at you. Find out how to become more beautiful.

Support your interlocutor

To become an interesting conversationalist, you need to maintain a conversation and share opinions with the interlocutor. If he is wrong, you don’t have to tell him about it unless he asks you to. Keep the truth to yourself and then you won't offend anyone. But if you need to make a decision and the wrong point of view is imposed on you, you should not hide it. But don't just tell the truth, but turn to facts and evidence. Don't waste time arguing and criticizing.

ADVICE FROM A PSYCHOLOGIST

psycho— olog. ru

How to be an interesting conversationalist for a girl

Self-development1-11-2014, 19:02 Sergey k14 012

How to become a good communicator

In the lives of many people, the process of communication takes up a very large part of the time. After all, the ability to speak, listen, read and write are the most important abilities that help to achieve success in life and ensure effective joint activities of people. Therefore, it is very important to be able to conduct a dialogue correctly in order to achieve good results at work, in your personal life, and in communicating with loved ones and friends. By becoming a good conversationalist, you will attract many people to you, learn to win over your interlocutors, and achieve the results you need.

1. Smile. After all, any communication that begins with a smile already attracts a person to you. With a smile, you show that you are sincere and open to productive dialogue. It is worth mentioning that even when talking on the phone you can feel a smile.

2. There is something to talk about with anyone. It is necessary to determine what interests a person and start a conversation on this topic. There are very few people who are not interested in anything. In any case, we can talk about this man himself. Show attention to him, show sincere interest, and you will subsequently find many topics for conversation.

3. If they don’t understand you, it means you didn’t express yourself correctly and clearly enough. Construct your speech in such a way that everything is very clear to your interlocutor. Then you will stop getting annoyed and angry at the person who did not understand you or misunderstood you.

4. Give compliments. Feel free to show yourself as a positive person and encourage those around you. Remember that compliments should come from the heart. Blatant flattery will only push people away from you. However, don't be afraid to praise someone who did a great job. Thank those who cheered you up with a good joke. Compliment someone who is stylishly dressed. But we must not forget that everything should be in moderation.

5. Active listening technique. In this way you will show that you hear your interlocutor and understand what is being said in the conversation. Look at the person you are talking to, nod your head, comment on his story, but do not interrupt. You can help find the necessary words and phrases when the interlocutor stumbles, ask questions, and continue the thought. This will make it clear that you are interested in the person. And this will make them want to continue communicating with you.

6. Try to call the person you are talking to by name more often. As psychologists have proven, the sound of one’s own name is the most pleasant and sweet sound for the human ear. After all, a person is given a name at birth and he carries it throughout his long life.

7. Speak clearly and simply. Even if both you and your interlocutor have several higher educations, do not use complex scientific terms and phrases in your conversation. There is no need to try to give yourself some kind of dubious status through abstruse conversation. Any smart person will still understand how smart or stupid you are.

8. Do not interrupt your interlocutor and do not give advice that you are not asked for. Listen to the person until the end, and then comment on his words. This will show that you are interested in talking to him. By interrupting, you show your bad manners. If you feel the urge to give unsolicited advice, suppress this urge. Otherwise, the person will think that you consider yourself smarter than him, and this is an obstacle to successful communication.

9. The conversation should be interesting for you. If you have to carry on a conversation about something that is not interesting to you, try to understand the topic of the conversation. Otherwise, the person, not feeling the feedback, will stop the conversation.

10. Remove the pronoun “I” from the conversation. Everyone knows that all people are selfish by nature. And, as a rule, everyone wants to hear mainly about themselves. But this approach to communication is wrong.

How to become an interesting girl?

Try to use other shades of statements instead of combinations with the pronoun “I”. For example, instead of “I want”, say: “I would like” or “I would like.” This will slightly change your speech and endear your interlocutor to you.

A person who is interested in a variety of areas of life, from fashion and style to hunting and fishing, can become a good conversationalist. If there is no thirst for new knowledge, curiosity, interest in life in all its bright manifestations, then becoming a good conversationalist is quite difficult. After all, only by showing interest in your interlocutor, maintaining a conversation on any topic, showing your disposition towards him, you thereby form interest and an excellent attitude towards yourself.

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Part 1
Be cheerful
1. Relax. People like to feel safe and comfortable with their friends and are always ready to have fun. So relax and have fun with everyone.
  - Give someone a compliment to let them know that you are paying attention to them and are thinking about them.
  - Laugh more. Show everyone your openness and ease.
  - Try to relax (as much as possible). If you are tense, this state will be passed on to your friends.
2. Pay attention to your friends. Look at them, put away your phone and make them feel like the center of attention. If you're confused (as if you're trying to figure out how to solve multiple problems at once), it'll be hard for people to have fun with you.
  - Treat people with approval. Don't talk down to them or judge them, otherwise people won't be honest with you.
3. Cause lots of jokes. If you're not afraid to look stupid or funny, people will have fun with you. Here are some ways to do this:
  - Parody (good or bad) someone you know, such as a teacher or colleague.
  - Dance like a clown, pretending that you are the best dancer in the world.
  - Hum your favorite and not quite decent song.
  - Wear funny clothes.
  - Don't be afraid to say corny jokes.
4. Get ready for adventure. If you have never done something, do it now! Be spontaneous and do something new for yourself. If you are a person who comes up with fun activities, your friends will think you are fun and interesting.
  - Say “yes” more often. This way you will be ready to do something new for you.
  - Read the last section of this article to learn about fun things you can do with your friends.
5. Keep a positive attitude. Everyone has bad days, but you need to focus on talking about the positive events in your life (don't show your friends and people around you that you're upset). This will create a positive atmosphere and people will be attracted to you.
  - If you catch yourself saying something negative, say two positive things.
  - If people around you are feeling down, encourage them instead of stooping to their level.
  - If you're having a hard day, don't put on a fake smile. However, efforts must be made to maintain positive attitude(don’t show your irritation or think that the problems bothering you are not that important).
6. Bring people together. When you're with friends, try to make sure everyone is supportive. good relationship or got to know each other better. Bring people together to become closer friend to a friend.
  - Be subtle about this. If you're in a group of people who feel like they have nothing in common, make them mutually interested, which will lead to a connection between them.
  - If you have two friends who don't get along, say something positive about each of them; This way you will increase the chance that their relationship will normalize.
  - Strengthen relationships between people by offering to do something fun that each person will enjoy (like bowling). The more fun the activity you offer, the better.
7. Dance, even if you're bad at it. It doesn't matter whether you're dancing alone, or with a partner, or on the dance floor with friends - just dance and enjoy it.
  - Throw your hair back, sing a few lines from your favorite song and move your arms and legs to cheer up the people around you.
  - Encourage people to dance with you. Get your friends who don't like to dance to get on the dance floor with you and show them how much fun it is.
8. Conquer your fears. If you are afraid of heights, clowns, dogs or anything else, take the time and energy to work on yourself and overcome your fears. You will be surprised at what you are capable of.
  - Agree with almost all proposals to do something new. If your artist friend or avid hiker asks you to paint something or go on a hike, be sure to agree, since it is new to you.
  - Next time at a party or social gathering, find someone who has little in common with you. Be sure to get to know this person to learn something new from him.
  - If a show host or artist calls for a volunteer, don't be afraid to raise your hand. Sing and dance at your favorite artist's concert. Wear breathtaking outfits that cheer you up. Sing your favorite song at karaoke, even if you have no ear for music. Throw a fun themed party. In a word - have fun!
- Be honest and keep your promises. This will build a reputation for trustworthiness and make it easier for people to be open with you.
- Treat people the way you would like to be treated.
- If you are one of those people who finds it difficult to carry on a conversation, make a list of topics that you can discuss with your interlocutor, and when there is a moment of awkward silence, start discussing this topic. You can always find interesting topic for conversation.
- Always strive for knowledge. Thanks to a good store of knowledge, you can become wittier.
- Avoid gossip or spreading rumors. This will not help you, but will rather spoil your reputation as a reliable and cheerful person. It will be difficult for people to relax in your presence if they know that you are spreading rumors behind their backs.
- Laugh with your friends and other people, not at them.
- Determine your limits. Sit alone for a while to catch your breath and regain your strength. Also, let others know that you have boundaries that should not be crossed.
- Smile a lot and love the people around you. Don't judge others because you don't know what they've been through.
Warnings
- Take care of your relationships with your friends because they are the best thing you have.
- Don't laugh at people. Laugh with them. You can laugh at yourself. Despite mistakes and failures, be happy.
- Sometimes there is no need for fun. Everything has its time. If your friend needs support and is going through a difficult period, you should be ready to help. Also show your parents that you deserve more freedom and they can trust you. Show yourself as a responsible and reliable person.
- If you have a close relationship with someone, you may be more open. But if you've just met someone, be polite.
- Your jokes should be appropriate and should not harm anyone, including you.
- Don't try force people think that you are a funny and interesting person. It won't show you well.
Communication skill is one of the fundamental skills for a person to succeed in any field. For a person who quickly gets along with any people and can interest them in interesting conversation and ideas, the ability to communicate is the very key that opens all doors for him. But in order for communication to begin to help you in life, you must learn about.

Who can be considered a good conversationalist? First of all, those people who radiate goodwill and love of life. Such people enjoy every moment of life and are interested in everything that happens around them. This allows them to talk about any topic, from conquering other planets to raising children. preschool age. Therefore, in order for communication to begin to bring you real pleasure, you must learn to truly love life.

The task you have set for yourself is quite difficult, but a person is capable of achieving everything he wants. To make your task a little easier, we recommend using some rules and recommendations.

Rule 1.

You can talk to absolutely any person; to do this you need to discover a topic that will be interesting to your interlocutor. It is almost impossible to meet such people who are not interested in anything in nature at all. If you do meet someone like this, then a universal theme that is appropriate in any situation is the personality of your interlocutor himself.

Rule 2.

Listen. This means that you must demonstrate to your counterpart that you are interested in communicating with him, in the topic of conversation, and also that you understand what he is trying to convey to you. To do this, you must look at the person you are talking to, nod in agreement with his thoughts, say “yes,” or insert remarks during the conversation that show your interest, for example: “well, really!” or “how great!” In addition, you can finish words or sentences instead of your interlocutor, or pronounce them together with him, and also, if necessary, give hints the right words or phrases. Don’t forget that if you didn’t hear something or understood it, you need to ask your interlocutor again.

Rule 3.

The topic of the conversation should be interesting to all participants. Even when you find yourself involved in a conversation whose topic is completely unfamiliar to you, try to listen carefully to the person you are talking to and understand the meaning of what he is telling you. If you do not support your interlocutor, and he does not feel your interest, your conversation will very quickly come to a dead end and be interrupted.

Rule 4.

If you were not understood, then you did not express yourself clearly enough. Just take note of this and don’t get annoyed when your interlocutor doesn’t understand what you’re telling him.

Rule 5.

Don't forget. A smile on your face lets your interlocutor know that you are willing to communicate with him.

Rule 6.

The next rule is how to become an interesting conversationalist, is that you should use the pronoun “I” as little as possible. Every person is an egoist who likes to be talked about. If you constantly say “I”, it will push him away from you on a subconscious level.

Rule 7.

Address your conversation partner by name. According to researchers, given name a person is what he is most pleased to hear.

Rule 8.

Your speech should be simple and understandable; this will be regarded by your interlocutor as a sign of respect for him. Even if he is the winner of several scientific prizes, he will be more pleased if your speech is clear and accessible.

Rule 9.

If you are not asked, do not give advice and recommendations. If a person doesn’t ask you anything, it only means that he doesn’t need unsolicited advice. If you still try to give them to him, he may regard this as your attempt to put yourself above him, and this will certainly push him away from you.

Are you telling a compelling story and find people yawning? This story may not be as interesting as you think. Try to finish it and let others speak.

2. Know how to listen

Let your interlocutor talk about himself. Ask him counter questions. It's strange, but the people we like the most always say little.

3. Discuss the other person's interests

Ask the person about his life, ask different questions and discuss them. You are already 80% close to being liked. If you are well versed in the hobbies of your interlocutor, you can easily maintain a conversation. If not, then ask him in more detail. He will tell you with great pleasure.

4. Keep three stories in reserve.

People are not interested in the features of your new phone. What really turns them on is real events that happened to you. So always have three stories to tell. They should be exciting and emotional. Let the interlocutor be interested in what will happen in the next minute.

5. Develop charisma

There is so much meaning put into this word that it becomes difficult to understand its true meaning. Some say that you are born with it, while others believe that this personality trait is developed over the years. But here's what's interesting: the study The Heart of Social Psychology: A Backstage View of a Passionate Science, conducted by two psychologists in 1967, proved that in a conversation, only 7% of attention is paid to words. The rest comes from tone of speech and body language.

Laugh, smile, be emotional. Don't forget about gestures and don't rely only on words.

6. Live an interesting life

Chat with different people, read more books, watch movies, travel. Most the right way become interesting person- live interesting life. And believe me, this will give you much more than just the opportunity to be a good conversationalist.