How to learn to be a good conversationalist. How to be an interesting conversationalist

Part 1

Be cheerful

Relax. People like to feel safe and comfortable with their friends and are always ready to have fun. So relax and have fun with everyone.
- Give someone a compliment to let them know that you are paying attention to them and are thinking about them.
- Laugh more. Show everyone your openness and ease.
- Try to relax (as much as possible). If you are tense, this state will be passed on to your friends.
Pay attention to your friends. Look at them, put away your phone and make them feel like the center of attention. If you're confused (as if you're trying to figure out how to solve multiple problems at once), it'll be hard for people to have fun with you.
- Treat people with approval. Don't talk down to them or judge them, otherwise people won't be honest with you.
Cause lots of jokes. If you're not afraid to look stupid or funny, people will have fun with you. Here are some ways to do this:
- Parody (good or bad) someone you know, such as a teacher or colleague.
- Dance like a clown, pretending that you are the best dancer in the world.
- Hum your favorite and not quite decent song.
- Wear funny clothes.
- Don't be afraid to say corny jokes.
Get ready for adventure. If you have never done something, do it now! Be spontaneous and do something new for yourself. If you are a person who comes up with fun activities, your friends will think you are fun and interesting.
- Say “yes” more often. This way you will be ready to do something new for you.
- Read the last section of this article to learn about fun things you can do with your friends.
Keep a positive attitude. Everyone has bad days, but you need to focus on talking about the positive events in your life (don't show your friends and people around you that you're upset). This will create a positive atmosphere and people will be attracted to you.
- If you catch yourself saying something negative, say two positive things.
- If people around you are feeling down, encourage them instead of stooping to their level.
- If you're having a hard day, don't put on a fake smile. However, efforts must be made to maintain positive attitude(don’t show your irritation or think that the problems bothering you are not that important).
Bring people together. When you're with friends, try to make sure everyone is supportive. a good relationship or got to know each other better. Bring people together to become closer friend to friend.
- Be subtle about this. If you're in a group of people who feel like they have nothing in common, make them mutually interested, which will lead to a connection between them.
- If you have two friends who don't get along, say something positive about each of them; This way you will increase the chance that their relationship will normalize.
- Strengthen relationships between people by offering to do something fun that each person will enjoy (like bowling). The more fun the activity you offer, the better.
Dance, even if you're bad at it. It doesn't matter whether you're dancing alone, or with a partner, or on the dance floor with friends - just dance and enjoy it.
- Throw your hair back, sing a few lines from your favorite song and move your arms and legs to cheer up the people around you.
- Encourage people to dance with you. Get your friends who don't like to dance to get on the dance floor with you and show them how much fun it is.
Conquer your fears. If you are afraid of heights, clowns, dogs or anything else, take the time and energy to work on yourself and overcome your fears. You will be surprised at what you are capable of.
- Agree with almost all proposals to do something new. If your artist friend or avid hiker asks you to paint something or go on a hike, be sure to agree, since it is new to you.
- Next time at a party or social gathering, find someone who has little in common with you. Be sure to get to know this person to learn something new from him.
- If a show host or artist calls for a volunteer, don't be afraid to raise your hand. Sing and dance at your favorite artist's concert. Wear breathtaking outfits that cheer you up. Sing your favorite song at karaoke, even if you have no ear for music. Throw a fun themed party. In a word - have fun!

Be honest and keep your promises. This will build a reputation for trustworthiness and make it easier for people to be open with you.
Treat people the way you would like to be treated.
If you are one of those people who finds it difficult to carry on a conversation, make a list of topics that you can discuss with your interlocutor, and when there is a moment of awkward silence, start discussing this topic. You can always find interesting topic for conversation.
Always strive for knowledge. Thanks to a good store of knowledge, you can become wittier.
Avoid gossip or spreading rumors. This will not help you, but will rather spoil your reputation as a reliable and cheerful person. It will be difficult for people to relax in your presence if they know that you are spreading rumors behind their backs.
Laugh with your friends and other people, not at them.
Determine your limits. Sit alone for a while to catch your breath and regain your strength. Also, let others know that you have boundaries that should not be crossed.
Smile a lot and love the people around you. Don't judge others because you don't know what they've been through.

Warnings

Take care of your relationships with your friends because they are the best thing you have.
Don't laugh at people. Laugh with them. You can laugh at yourself. Despite mistakes and failures, be happy.
Sometimes there is no need for fun. Everything has its time. If your friend needs support and is going through a difficult period, you should be ready to help. Also show your parents that you deserve more freedom and they can trust you. Show yourself as a responsible and reliable person.
If you have a close relationship with someone, you may be more open. But if you've just met someone, be polite.
Your jokes should be appropriate and should not harm anyone, including you.
Do not try force people think that you are a funny and interesting person. It won't show you well.

In the lives of many people, the process of communication takes up a very large part of the time. After all, the ability to speak, listen, read and write are the most important abilities that help to achieve success in life, ensure effective joint activities of people. Therefore, it is very important to be able to conduct a dialogue correctly in order to achieve good results at work, in your personal life, and in communicating with loved ones and friends. Becoming good conversationalist, you will attract many people to you, learn to win over your interlocutors, and achieve the results you need.

1. Smile. After all, any communication that begins with a smile already attracts a person to you. With a smile, you show that you are sincere and open to productive dialogue. It is worth mentioning that even when talking on the phone you can feel a smile.

2. There is something to talk about with anyone. It is necessary to determine what interests a person and start a conversation on this topic. There are very few people who are not interested in anything. In any case, we can talk about this man himself. Show attention to him, show sincere interest, and you will subsequently find many topics for conversation.

3. If they don’t understand you, it means you didn’t express yourself correctly and clearly enough. Construct your speech in such a way that everything is very clear to your interlocutor. Then you will stop getting annoyed and angry at the person who did not understand you or misunderstood you.

4. Give compliments. Feel free to show yourself as a positive person and encourage those around you. Remember that compliments should come from the heart. Blatant flattery will only push people away from you. However, don't be afraid to praise someone who did a great job. Thank those who have a good joke. Compliment someone who is stylishly dressed. But we must not forget that everything should be in moderation.

5. Reception active listening. In this way you will show that you hear your interlocutor and understand what is being said in the conversation. Look at the person you are talking to, nod your head, comment on his story, but do not interrupt. Can you help me find necessary words and phrases when the interlocutor stumbles, ask questions, continue the thought. This will make it clear that you are interested in the person. And this will make them want to continue communicating with you.

6. Try to call the person you are talking to by name more often. As psychologists have proven, the sound of one’s own name is the most pleasant and sweet sound for the human ear. After all, a person is given a name at birth and he carries it throughout his long life.

7. Speak clearly and simply. Even if both you and your interlocutor have several higher education, do not use complex scientific terms and phrases in conversation. There is no need to try to give yourself some kind of dubious status through abstruse conversation. Any smart person will still understand how smart or stupid you are.

8. Do not interrupt your interlocutor and do not give advice that you are not asked for. Listen to the person until the end, and then comment on his words. This will show that you are interested in talking to him. By interrupting, you show your bad manners. If you feel the urge to give unsolicited advice, suppress this urge. Otherwise, the person will think that you consider yourself smarter than him, and this is an obstacle to successful communication.

9. The conversation should be interesting for you. If you have to carry on a conversation about something that is not interesting to you, try to understand the topic of the conversation. Otherwise, a person without feeling feedback, will stop talking.

10. Remove the pronoun “I” from the conversation. Everyone knows that all people are selfish by nature. And, as a rule, everyone wants to hear mainly about themselves. But this approach to communication is wrong. Try to use other shades of statements instead of combinations with the pronoun “I”. For example, instead of “I want”, say: “I would like” or “I would like.” This will slightly change the way you speak to you.

A good conversationalist can be a person who is interested in the most various areas life, from fashion and style, to hunting and fishing. If there is no thirst for new knowledge, curiosity, interest in life in all its brightest manifestations, then becoming a good conversationalist is quite difficult. After all, only by showing interest in your interlocutor, maintaining a conversation on any topic, showing your disposition towards him, you thereby form interest and an excellent attitude towards yourself.

The ability to strike up a conversation and communicate with people helps you make new friends and climb the ladder. career ladder, increases self-esteem and generally only benefits a person. Relaxed small talk allows you to defuse the situation and hush up any awkward situation.

1. Don't be shy to ask questions

Do you want to know how to become interesting conversationalist? There is nothing difficult about this. To begin with, forget about shyness and feel free to ask questions to people you don’t know. Ask your interlocutor what he does. The person’s answer will probably be quite long and the communication will not end there.

If you don't know where to start the conversation, ask the person what brought him to the business event or party where you met. How does this relate to his work or interests. Then use the answers to continue the conversation.

2. Give compliments

When telling how to become an interesting conversationalist, psychologists recommend giving people compliments. We love to be liked, and we want to continue the conversation with the person we like more. Compliments work equally effectively in both female and male company. When talking to a lady, praise her appearance, outfit or jewelry, and for a gentleman it’s enough to say that he looks great.

Are you painfully looking for questions to talk about? Don't waste your time, but ask your interlocutor for advice. Say, for example, that you want to know his opinion on a work project or the choice of wine for a holiday, ask if he knows about an upcoming event or if he has seen a new movie. People like to help others and get satisfaction from it. Even the most modest and silent person, having heard your request, will show a different side and, in the literal sense of the word, blossom.

4. Tell us about yourself

When thinking about how to structure a conversation, it is not necessary to form a list of questions and predict possible answers to them. Try not to ask questions to the interlocutor, but to the first one. This technique is especially effective for starting a dialogue with shy men and women. Seeing your openness, they will relax and be more willing to make contact.

5. Use circumstances

If you don't know where to start a conversation, use the surrounding circumstances: you can start a conversation about the weather, results sports game, about the speakers on stage, if you are at an event, etc. After that, smoothly move on to more interesting topics.

6. Find common interests

To know in the future how to build a conversation with a new acquaintance, find common interests. It could be anything: a love of fishing, reading books, drawing, collecting scale models of equipment.

7. Use active listening techniques

By finding topics and questions to talk about, you will earn a reputation as a pleasant conversationalist. To do this, not only speak, but also listen carefully to the other person. Look at your interlocutor when he is telling something, nod to him and, if necessary, help him choose the right phrases.

8. Smile

Knowing how to start a conversation is only half the battle. When conducting a conversation, it is important to show that you are friendly to the person and show openness. To do this, smile more often. A smile can be felt even during telephone communication. However, do not overdo it so as not to be considered too frivolous.

9. Use “I” less often in dialogues.

Not knowing how to start a conversation, we begin to tell the interlocutor about ourselves. This is normal, but you should not constantly use the pronoun “I” in dialogues, demonstrating an overt attitude. Change the form of your statements. Having decided how to continue the conversation and telling your interlocutor something, instead of “I’m surprised,” say “surprising,” instead of “I want,” say “I want.”

10. Call your interlocutor by name more often

When telling how to continue a conversation or start it, it is worth clarifying: you must definitely find out the name of the interlocutor and actively use it in dialogues. It has long been known that it is difficult to find something more pleasant than the sounds of your own name.

11. Avoid complex terms and phrases

Don’t try to make yourself feel better by using complex words in conversation. scientific terms. Clever man and without this he will understand what you are. When expressing thoughts, explain complex things in simple terms.

Communication skill is one of the fundamental skills for a person to succeed in any field. For a person who quickly gets along with any people and can interest them in interesting conversation and ideas, the ability to communicate is the very key that opens all doors for him. But in order for communication to begin to help you in life, you must learn about.

Who can be considered a good conversationalist? First of all, those people who radiate goodwill and love of life. Such people enjoy every moment of life and are interested in everything that happens around them. This allows them to talk about any topic, from conquering other planets to raising children. preschool age. Therefore, in order for communication to begin to bring you real pleasure, you must learn to truly love life.

The task you have set for yourself is quite difficult, but a person is capable of achieving everything he wants. To make your task a little easier, we recommend using some rules and recommendations.

Rule 1.

You can talk to absolutely any person; to do this you need to discover a topic that will be interesting to your interlocutor. It is almost impossible to meet such people who are not interested in anything in nature at all. If you do meet someone like this, then a universal theme that is appropriate in any situation is the personality of your interlocutor himself.

Rule 2.

Listen. This means that you must demonstrate to your counterpart that you are interested in communicating with him, in the topic of conversation, and also that you understand what he is trying to convey to you. To do this, you must look at the person you are talking to, nod in agreement with his thoughts, say “yes,” or insert remarks during the conversation that show your interest, for example: “well, really!” or “how great!” In addition, you can finish words or sentences instead of your interlocutor, or pronounce them together with him, and also, if necessary, give hints the right words or phrases. Don’t forget that if you didn’t hear something or understood it, you need to ask your interlocutor again.

Rule 3.

The topic of the conversation should be interesting to all participants. Even when you find yourself involved in a conversation whose topic is completely unfamiliar to you, try to listen carefully to the person you are talking to and understand the meaning of what he is telling you. If you do not support your interlocutor, and he does not feel your interest, your conversation will very quickly come to a dead end and be interrupted.

Rule 4.

If you were not understood, then you did not express yourself clearly enough. Just take this into account and don’t get annoyed when your interlocutor doesn’t understand what you’re telling him.

Rule 5.

Do not forget . A smile on your face lets your interlocutor know that you are willing to communicate with him.

Rule 6.

The next rule is how to become an interesting conversationalist, is that you should use the pronoun “I” as little as possible. Every person is an egoist who likes to be talked about. If you constantly say “I”, it will push him away from you on a subconscious level.

Rule 7.

Address your conversation partner by name. According to researchers, given name a person is what he is most pleased to hear.

Rule 8.

Your speech should be simple and understandable; this will be regarded by your interlocutor as a sign of respect for him. Even if he is the winner of several scientific prizes, he will be more pleased if your speech is clear and accessible.

Rule 9.

If you are not asked, do not give advice and recommendations. If a person doesn’t ask you anything, it only means that he doesn’t need unsolicited advice. If you still try to give them to him, he may regard this as your attempt to put yourself above him, and this will certainly push him away from you.

To be interesting to other people, you need constant self-improvement and development. Constantly learn something new, study, travel, expand your horizons. With an erudite person there is always something to talk about, he is always interesting. Find a passion for yourself. It doesn't matter what it is: painting or diving, dancing or gardening. At a minimum, you will always be interesting to those who share your passion. In addition, a passionate person who devotes himself entirely to his hobby often becomes successful and receives recognition and respect in society. And success will make you interesting to a huge number of people. Be versatile developed person. Being deeply passionate about one thing should not make you a one-sided person. Be interested in art, sports, music, astronomy, literature, etc. You need to learn something new throughout your life; this is the only way to avoid personality degradation. Share your knowledge with others - this is the meaning of communicating with interesting people! Bernard Shaw said it best: “If we exchange apples, then you and I will have one apple each. If we exchange ideas, you and I will each have two ideas.” The desire for new knowledge is inherent in people. And if you are the source of this knowledge, interest in you will not dry up. Learn to express your thoughts beautifully, present information competently, and you will provide yourself with an audience of grateful listeners who listen to your every word and consider you a very interesting person. Accept and love yourself as you are. Each personality is interesting in its own way, “the whole Universe is hidden in every person.” Look at yourself from the outside, determine your strong traits and develop them. Don't hide your talents and achievements from people. And some flaws can be made part of your unique image. Don’t be afraid to have your own opinion on everything and defend it if necessary. Many people are afraid to stand out and prefer to be part of the crowd all their lives. Take risks, find your way, fall and rise again. The richer your life experience, the more interesting you are to others. Use your sense of humor. Wit and ease of communication are the most reliable way to gain fans and friends. Anyone who knows how to joke at the right time and defuse the situation never gets bored alone. Smile, make others smile, and you will always be the center of attention!

Interesting person attractive to others. It’s a pleasure to communicate with a bright, extraordinary, versatile person. Such an individual knows how to listen and carry on a conversation, he amazes with his charisma and love of life, has an excellent sense of humor and attracts other people. If you want to become such a person, learn the basic qualities interesting people.

Development

To be an interesting conversationalist, you need to constantly learn something new. Be curious, study issues that interest you, expand your horizons. Just think how many objects in the world are worthy of attention, and at the same time how often you can meet boring, narrow-minded people. Don’t be like them, study, travel, engage in self-development.

Find your calling. A charismatic personality strives for self-realization. You can express yourself through work or hobbies. If you find a professional field in which your talents are useful, or become interested in some activity in free time, which means you can infect other people with your own enthusiasm.

Interesting people are those who love their work and are happy to immerse themselves in it headlong.

Try to be a well-rounded person. Pay attention to all your talents and abilities. Limited people are not as interesting to others as addicted people.

The art of conversation

Learn to share your knowledge and experience. Become a great conversationalist. To do this, you need to improve your storytelling and listening skills.

To become a good storyteller, you need to learn to express your own thoughts beautifully, correctly and accurately. Reading good literature and constant practice in writing and speaking will help you master this talent.

In addition, you should learn to notice interesting details and become more attentive.

Eye contact with the interlocutor and, again, attentiveness, as well as demonstrating that you understand the person, will help you in your listening skills. Of course, there is no need to interrupt the speaker.

Self-acceptance

A person who, first of all, accepts himself becomes attractive to others. Try to see the virtues in yourself first and foremost. It’s better to forget about shortcomings that you cannot correct.

Self-respect, sincere self-love, self-acceptance makes a person worthy of love from others. Be a self-sufficient person, and people will be drawn to you. Strong people who are not looking for approval, but simple communication, are truly interesting to others.

Under any circumstances, try to remain yourself. Don't betray your principles by blindly following the crowd. Know how to defend your own point of view. Learn to resist unwanted influence and manipulation, maintain your originality. A charismatic person lives in harmony with himself and is not afraid to follow his chosen path.