Melancholy how to deal with it. Depression, melancholy, or how not to succumb to either one or the other

How to live for a melancholic person? Searching for the meaning of life and more...

Hello, dear readers of the blog site! Today I will write some tips for those people who think too much, constantly analyze and remember the past. What kind of people are these?

By personality type they are all melancholic and often suffer from this because they do not know how to deal with themselves. Which character traits what differentiates these people?

There is a misconception that a person's temperament type can change. I recently read the following on one website: under the influence of life circumstances, the demands of society and upbringing, the type of character changes and develops. This is impossible! Character traits can change, but not his type.

It is naive to believe, when raising a cat together with a dog, that this cat will become a dog. Maybe her behavior will change in some way, but she won’t start barking and won’t guard the house.

Likewise, a melancholic person will always analyze and think about some problems. Therefore, if you are interested in the question of how a melancholic person can become a sanguine person, change his temperament and constantly have fun, the answer is very simple: no way!

But you can develop in yourself those qualities that you so lack. For example, try to be more cheerful and open, rejoice more, and not think about problems and past failures.

It is very easy to recognize such a person. For example, in films you can often find a heroine who tells everyone that she cannot get rid of restless thoughts. She definitely belongs to the type of character that I am talking about today.

If you are just starting to study yourself, be sure to read two articles on our blog, they are called: “Why is a melancholic person always right?” and “Help the melancholic person solve the riddle!”

A man asks: “Why does my wife often get offended?” It is quite possible that he married such a woman who strives to be ideal wife, but at the same time thinks too much about problems, gets hung up on them and cannot get rid of sad thoughts about the past.

If you tend to engage in “soul-searching,” then this quality may increase with age. The advice is this: let go of your past and live today, because the past cannot be changed, so why constantly think about it? Sad thoughts can cause depression, but why do you need it?!

So the first thing you have to work on is to train yourself not to worry.

Secondly, stop biting yourself and engaging in self-criticism!

Don't hold on to the past, you still have everything ahead. If you have a desire to move forward and not look back, you will definitely find the strength to reach the horizon and check what is interesting there for you.

There is no need to carry on your shoulders the heavy burden of events that happened a long time ago; this is not only very difficult to do, but also completely pointless! I’m telling you this from my own experience, because I used to constantly analyze what I did wrong, worry about what happened ten years ago, and so on.

You will always be looking for answers to questions, so try to find a new area for yourself, maybe completely unexpected for yourself, and start exploring it to occupy your inquisitive mind with something positive.

This blog, which my husband and I maintain, has helped me personally a lot. I had to plunge into completely new areas, such as computer graphics, website promotion, artistic creativity and programming. I also really enjoy helping people and sharing the knowledge we have accumulated.

And now I write articles for you and get great pleasure from the fact that I can help with advice to a person who needs it.

Each of us has a lot of problems, we don’t need to isolate ourselves own mistakes and failures, endlessly chewing on them. Try to start something new, switch things up, and you will begin to look at your life more positively.

If you are into creativity, come to my art gallery www.art-planets.com

You can take photographs of your work and display them. This will help you raise your self-esteem, talk about your creativity and change something in your life.

Do you want, for example, to learn how to draw on a computer or even make your own website? Read our lessons, they are structured in such a way that everything will be clear to a beginner.

Have you strived for perfection all your life? Try to understand that life is not perfect, and perfectionism is not always healthy. If you want your husband to be perfect, look at yourself first. Are you finding fault with him and your children?

Just go ahead and ask them about it directly. I just don’t advise you to be offended right away; try to listen to their opinion calmly and judiciously.

Any melancholic person does not really like to hear the truth about himself and has a very negative attitude towards any criticism.

These are quite vulnerable people, but sometimes they may seem cold or insensitive to others, because they know how to carefully hide their emotions. And it’s not at all clear why they do this? Maybe these stubborn and determined people don't want others to see their weakness?

Can a melancholic person become strong? Yes he is very strong man because it is difficult to break. Weak point this person is the past, to which the restless or even dark thoughts. If you also suffer from this, use logic and come up with a simple explanation why it should be forgotten.

For example, this: the past has sunk into eternity, dissolved in space, fallen into a black hole. It is no longer possible to change anything there, so there is no point in thinking about it.

And at the same time, you can delve into cosmology and find out in detail what black holes are and why time and space disappear there.

But the future will require all your skills from you, so direct your efforts towards it.

Do your mood suddenly change, and do your loved ones suffer from it? Think about why this is happening? You just thought about an unpleasant thing, spent some time and energy on this activity, and then good mood has disappeared, and you walk around darker than a cloud.

Why were you thinking about this nonsense? Well, all this doesn’t seem like something lightweight to you, does it? Learn to control your thoughts. Good method is to switch to something positive.

Came bad thought, and you replace it with another, for example, start planning a vacation or your next birthday.

Directly prepare a list of such positive topics and write them on a piece of paper. Don't believe me? Start right now, otherwise you will turn into a gloomy person, bent under the burden of heavy worries. By the way, almost everything unpleasant that a person imagines in his imagination never comes true, remember this. We must take this advice carefully, because with age a person changes, and not always for the better.

Just don’t need to raise the question of the meaning of life for the umpteenth time. Try asking a sanguine person about this and see how surprised he is.

Melancholic people have one quality that others do not like: they do not always respect the feelings of another person and can speak rather harshly. As they say, cutting the truth straight into the eyes.

This doesn't always work, because not all methods are good for achieving results. You should not offend people close to you with such direct statements on any occasion. Try to learn tact from phlegmatic people, they are excellent diplomats and always think first not about themselves, but about other people.

Do you want to criticize?

Try not to “kill” the person with your caustic remarks (even if you are 100% right), but speak more softly and positively.

Think for yourself, if you take criticism towards you so painfully, then why should other people like your sarcasm? Try to put yourself in their shoes and feel how unpleasant it is when you are criticized.

Another quality that people with this temperament have to struggle with is their attitude towards themselves. It is not clear for what reason, but all melancholic people judge themselves too harshly. That is, all the demands that they make on other people are doubly high on their own person. Why mock yourself like that?

The world is imperfect, and you are just a part of it. huge world. You don’t have to be ideal, it’s so simple and difficult to understand at the same time!

If you often feel sad for any reason or for no reason, find friends who look at the world more positively. For example, make friends with a cheerful person who has an excess of optimism, and you will be in a good mood.

It just so happens that a melancholic person is more of a pessimist than an optimist; he first sees negative aspects, and then positive ones. Therefore, it is simply necessary to accustom yourself to look at the world with the expectation of joyful events, and not vice versa.

Why constantly pay attention to people's shortcomings? This won't lead to anything good.

As soon as you try to apply these tips to yourself, the first thing you will encounter is your own stubbornness. It may seem to you that you can cope on your own without my advice. I don’t impose anything because I know very well that it won’t work with you. I'm just appealing to your logic and common sense.

Picture your life in your mind dark colors, as you always did, and then switch from the minus sign to the plus sign. And look what a difference it will make. Choose what you like best? Sad thoughts, self-criticism and the heavy burden of the past, or a life painted in all the colors of the rainbow, full have fun adventures and joyful events?

The choice is yours, because you are the one who creates your future.

Not all questions that interest you can be answered. If you for a long time If you are thinking about what the meaning of life is, just put off getting an answer for a while, and in the meantime, start filling your life with something new that gives food to your mind.

After a while, you will be able to look back and realize that you have already received the answer to that very question.

It is impossible to redo all the work that you have taken upon yourself. Try to relax at least sometimes and switch to a wave of positivity. This is very difficult to do, especially at the very beginning. But the habit of looking for something good in people and even in your own life will gradually take hold. And after a while you will become a more cheerful person than you were at the beginning.

You yourself are tired of constant worry and worries, thinking about problems that exist or may arise. This is the one character trait that sets you apart from other people. Make life easier, this will help you first of all, and your loved ones will begin to be happy for you, because you will laugh and smile more often. How to motivate yourself? Specific example

Instructions

Learn to understand melancholic people, although it is very difficult. They most often close themselves off in their own world, and it takes a lot of effort to gain their trust.

Maintain a certain distance between you. Melancholic people don't like it when someone invades their personal space, so keep your hands off them. Try not to touch their things without asking, because they are also very jealous of them.

Carefully monitor your speech and intonation. Try to avoid ambiguous phrases, because melancholic people may misunderstand you and be offended. They watch your behavior very carefully and draw conclusions. Even if you take a quick glance at your watch during a conversation, a melancholic person may decide that you are bored with the conversation.

Speak not too quickly, clearly and to the point. They don't like long speeches about anything: don't get distracted from the topic. Talking for too long tires them out, they feel tired and want to be alone. Do not impose your company if you feel that the person wants to be alone. Never criticize or speak too harshly about him.

Observe his gestures and movements: they will help you understand what the melancholic person does not say. A sign of excitement, irritation or hostility can be his nervous movements, for example, he will twirl a pen in his hands or carefully wipe the tabletop. If he straightens his hair or smoothes his hair, it means there is something about him.

Be patient and don’t rush things, let the melancholic person open up on his own at a speed acceptable to him. Try to be kind to him, show understanding, sympathize and try to cheer him up. When he opens up to you and begins to trust, you will be able to appreciate him greatly. inner world and get good true friend.

Video on the topic

Sources:

• About melancholic people

Choleric is a person gripped by constant passions and nervousness. At first glance, a choleric person can handle any obstacles, since the energy and perseverance inherent in him from birth are simply amazing. But the desire for a goal quickly develops into nervous excitement, and then stressful state. A choleric person quickly “lights up” with an idea, but also quickly cools down. At work, such a person is appreciated if required short terms do something that is beyond your capabilities to an ordinary person.

Instructions

It is believed that there is no pure “choleric”, but anyone can take from him those traits that will help in life situations. To do this, you will need qualities such as ambition, pride, and will. A choleric person is almost always “on fire” with some idea, which requires huge and nerve-wracking expenses. At the same time, thoughts related to achieving the intended goal completely capture the mind of the choleric person. In this state, a person is able to step over many obstacles.

The leadership qualities of choleric people attract many people. This helps the choleric person, but it is often very harmful to him, since his actions are ahead of his thoughts. A choleric person needs to develop a sense of regularity and. This is especially true for leaders, on whose actions other people depend, so in a high position a choleric person has to restrain himself.

To get significantly closer to the choleric psychotype, a person needs to develop a sense of confidence in own strength. This will help him take high positions in the career ladder, attract influential patrons as allies and win the attention of many people. At the same time, it is important to show all possible flexibility so as not to destroy the built relationships, since the firmness of the choleric person is also manifested in an indestructible conviction that he is right.

Sources:

• Sanguine, melancholic, choleric, phlegmatic - types of temperaments

If you have had the good fortune to communicate with a sanguine person, then you must have received a huge charge of energy, vigor and cheerfulness. After all, it is these qualities that distinguish people with this type of temperament.

Sanguine people are extremely peaceful, they love life as it is, and for them it is always filled exclusively with the most bright colors. They are always ready to smile wholeheartedly at everyone, so it is not recommended for overly jealous people to start a relationship with such a person, because it will be quite difficult for him to share these smiles with others and admit that they are not addressed to him alone.

A significant advantage in communicating with sanguine people is that it is almost impossible to quarrel with them. Even all your attempts to have a serious conversation will be rejected by humorous phrases and avoidance of the conversation. But this reaction does not at all mean a person’s indifference to problems, personal disgust, or simply a fundamental reluctance to talk, it is only a feature of his character - not to take everything to heart. That's why the best option will listen to his comrade and not bother his head with insignificant trifles. Sanguine people do not like unnecessary worries and prefer that everything is as good and comfortable as possible for them emotionally.

Sanguine people switch to another type of activity with absolute ease; this does not scare them at all. At the same time, do not forget about emotional well-being. If they see that it will be quite difficult to achieve it and it is necessary to make certain efforts for this, then it is definitely not for them, it is easier for them to go to where it lies on the surface and they do not have to reach for it and resort to any sacrifices . It is for this reason that sanguine people are not proud of their determination, which they do not have.

Sanguine people are very useful as collective workers. They not only easily adapt to any changes that occur in their lives, but also create a positive environment in which it is pleasant to work. When a sanguine person is passionate about something, there is no point in contacting him, he is not bothered at all external factors. But he never sits painstakingly at the same routine work; it gets boring very quickly. But the ability to learn new skills and mastery of them remains long time. Sanguine people benefit from being assigned positions with the required communication skills. They will always be able to charm and convince their interlocutor to their advantage. But in leadership qualities They don't exactly shine.

The romantics loved melancholy: it elevates a person above the crowd and makes him a creator. But before romanticism, this condition was considered a disease. In 1621, English prelate Robert Burton published the 900-page Anatomy of Melancholy; We publish selected practical tips.

What is melancholy

Melancholy is a disease associated with the appearance of black bile in the human body, causing clouding of the mind and, as a result, affecting the heart and other organs. It occurs more often in men, but in women it occurs more violently. Temperament does not affect the risk of disease: only fools and stoics are not susceptible to melancholy.

Symptoms

Melancholy causes a variety of symptoms of varying severity, but the most common are fear and sadness.

Classification

According to the generally accepted classification, there are three main types of melancholia: cephalic (disturbances occur in the brain), bodily (comes from the structure of the whole body) and hypochondriacal (the sources of which are the intestines, spleen, liver and mesentery).

Causes of melancholy and methods of treating it

Methods of treating melancholy depend on what causes it. Causes are usually divided into two types: supernatural and natural.

1. Supernatural causes are cases in which the disease occurred from God (or by His will) or from the devil (he can act indirectly, through sorcerers and magicians). Then ordinary medicines do not help - only spiritual means, such as repentance and cleansing from sins, save.

2. Natural causes are divided into comprehensive (the disease is caused by the location of planets and stars), which are beyond our power to influence, and private. Private causes, in turn, are divided into congenital and acquired.

2.1. Congenital causes include old age, temperament, and inherited diseases. It is impossible to eliminate these reasons.

In addition, children conceived and born under certain circumstances often suffer from melancholy:

Children born to men who are too old;

Children conceived on a full stomach or in a drunken state;

Children whose mothers indulged in melancholy during pregnancy;

Children conceived as a result of intercourse with an unclean (i.e. menstruating) woman.

2.2. Acquired causes are divided into inevitable and non-inevitable.

2.2.1. The inevitable causes include six things that anyone prone to melancholy must keep an eye on, since it is completely impossible to do without them.

2.2.1.1. Food

It is extremely important to monitor the amount of food consumed: both gluttony and excessive food restriction have a detrimental effect on the body and brain.

In addition, it is necessary to follow a certain diet, since it is food that forms the quality of moisture in the human body, including in the brain.

Meat

In general, difficult-to-digest meat has an unfavorable effect on the human condition.

Beef is only suitable for healthy and active people strong physique; It is contraindicated for people who lead a quiet lifestyle, are lean and prone to melancholy.

Pork is not suitable for those who have an easy life, and those who have any disorders, mental or physical.

Goat meat can be eaten without consequences only if it is kid meat.

Dairy products

Dairy products are only useful for children and very healthy people, as they generally aggravate melancholy, although there are some exceptions:

Serum is extremely useful for everyone;

Cheeses are suitable for food, but only fresh and soft varieties.

Bird

All wading birds and birds arriving from northern countries. So, you cannot eat geese, swans, storks, cranes, coots, ducks, water hens, teals, ducks and other pecking animals.

Fish

Opinions vary about fish, but in general it is not very approved. Eel is considered the most harmful.

Plants

Raw plants themselves do not bring any benefit, so it is recommended to eat them cooked in meat broth.

Cabbage has a negative effect on the brain.

Root vegetables are mainly harmful to the body, especially onions and garlic.

Legumes are not beneficial; a person can eat them only if he is unable to refuse them.

Spices (pepper, ginger, cinnamon, cloves, nutmeg, dates, honey, sugar, salt, etc.) cause headache melancholy, so they should also not be added to food, especially if there is a predisposition to the disease.

Bread

Bread is healthy if made from the highest varieties of wheat.

Alcohol

Wine and wine drinks can be harmful, sometimes even their single use can lead to melancholy. However, usually a glass of wine is an excellent medicine for melancholic people. True, we can only talk about moderate consumption of such drinks.

Beer should not be too fresh, but not too old, so as not to harm the body.

Water

Standing water is extremely harmful to the body, so it is not suitable for either external or internal use by humans, except for washing and, in extreme cases, watering livestock.

Cooking method

Any complex dish emitting aromas causes indigestion and, as a result, melancholy.

Spicy and sour, too sweet or fatty, as well as vinegar, oil, sour juice and mustard also do not benefit the body.

It must be taken into account that any food ceases to be harmful where it is familiar - or, at least, its harm decreases. The same thing happens with food that brings pleasure. In addition, the consequences of eating melancholic food can be completely eliminated in forced conditions - in poverty or in emergency situations.

2.2.1.2. Purgation

Constipation

There are cases where the inability to empty the intestines directly led to melancholic depression, but as soon as one took the medicine, the person felt better, so a cure for constipation can also become a cure for melancholy.

Unhealthy sex life

With excessive sexual abstinence, the accumulated semen turns into black bile and hits the head.

Sexual uncontrollability cools and dries up the body. In this case, moisturizers can help: there is a known case when a newlywed who got married in the hot season and through short time became melancholic and even insane.

Other causes related to gut health include pinched hemorrhoids, missed periods in women, and nosebleeds.

2.2.1.3. Air

Hot and dry air, thick, polluted air, air during thunderstorms and bad weather (with strong winds), cold and dry air, as well as night air are harmful to humans. Thus, melancholic people are recommended to leave the house only in good weather and do not open windows at night.

2.2.1.4. Exercise and idleness

Under no circumstances should you exercise excessively or exercise immediately after eating, as the juices of barely digested food spread throughout the body and destroy the vital forces.

Idleness is also unhelpful, since an idle body becomes overgrown with all sorts of ailments, and an idle mind immediately tends to melancholy.

Loneliness can also lead to melancholy, although one cannot deny certain benefits from it - in combination with reflection and contemplation.

2.2.1.5. Sleep and awakening

Nothing harms a melancholic person more than frequent awakenings, since they dry out the body and inflame the brain.

At the same time, it is contraindicated to indulge in sleep after eating and during the day, when the human body is not ready to rest. Also, sleep is harmful if it is accompanied by tears and sighs.
2.2.1.6. Mental anxieties

The cause of melancholy can be passions, since they drain the body and corrode the soul.

Sadness occupies first place among the passions, being the mother and daughter of melancholy.

Fear is a constant companion of sadness.

Envy sprouts in the form of discord, hatred, ill will, and rivalry.

Anger brings vital forces out, and frequent and severe attacks of anger lead not just to melancholy, but to madness.

Dissatisfaction, misfortune and all sorts of earthly worries deprive us of sleep, interfere with digestion, dry out the body and absorb its substance.

The passion of desire is accompanied by ambition.

Greed also deprives you of sleep and peace. A greedy person does not know life for himself, since he is not able to be content and enjoy what he has acquired with satisfaction.

The love of gambling and immoderate pleasures is fraught with complete ruin. In Italy, guardians were appointed over people obsessed with these passions, who monitored the expenses of their wards. The love for wine and women should also be mentioned here.

The love of knowledge exhausts the body, darkens the soul, weakens strength and courage. Scientists lead a sedentary lifestyle, are deprived of entertainment and often experience dissatisfaction, in particular, from contempt for them from the ignorant.

Self-love is the strongest destroyer of our souls, leading to melancholy and dementia. If for some it manifests itself as a love of praise and glory, then for others it manifests itself as contempt for oneself and for everything around.

The only antidote here may be our ability to restrain ourselves, to be meek, long-suffering and unforgiving.

2.2.2. Not inevitable - these are optional causes of melancholy, that is, circumstances that are best avoided altogether.

2.2.2.1. Bad nurse

2.2.2.2. Bad education

If the teacher is too harsh, fear is born in children, and if there is excessive indulgence, promiscuity is born. Both lead students astray from the good path.

2.2.2.3. Fears from what you see or hear

Fears can make such a strong impression on the soul that they lead to the deepest melancholy.

2.2.2.4. Mockery, slander and ridicule

Melancholic people are particularly susceptible to rough treatment, since it corrodes the soul. A person should not be offensive towards his neighbors, rejoice in the misfortunes of others and blaspheme the dead in order to preserve both his own peace and the peace of his neighbors.

2.2.2.5. Loss of freedom, addiction or prison

All these circumstances force a person to need such basic things as sun, air, rest, etc.

2.2.2.6. Poverty and need

Poverty can give a person nothing but contempt, hunger, thirst, monotonous work, cold and ignorance. The poor man has limited freedom of action, he knows no pleasures, and this breaks his heart.

2.2.2.7. Death of friends and other losses

These causes are worth mentioning among the innumerable other random causes of melancholy. If a person cries and groans from simple separation from friends or loved ones, then what can we say about loss forever! Bitter loss plunges hearts into deep sadness and leads to melancholy.

So, the main way to both protect yourself from melancholy and recover from it is to maintain your own health. As Synesius said in his essay “On the Praise of Baldness”: “For the poor man it contains all his wealth, and for the rich man all his bliss.” 

The only mood that everyone is trying to quickly shake off, making every effort to do so, is despondency. People, according to Diana Theis, are the most creative when it comes to trying to get rid of the blues. Of course, not all sadness should be eliminated, since melancholy, for example, like any other mood, has its advantages. The sadness that loss brings invariably produces certain results: it suppresses our interest in entertainment and pleasure, focuses our attention on what is lost, and weakens our energy, preventing us from gathering new strength, at least for a while. In short, it stimulates a kind of reflexive withdrawal from the turbulence of life, leaving us in the limbo of grieving the loss, trying to understand what the meaning is, and, ultimately, making psychological adjustments and making new plans for how to live on.

Bereavement or loss is beneficial; complete depression - no. William Styron gave vivid description“many terrible manifestations of this disease,” including self-loathing, feelings of worthlessness, “a gut-wrenching joylessness” and “an overwhelming melancholy, a sense of fear and alienation, and most of all, a suffocating anxiety.” In addition, there were intellectual indicators: “loss of orientation, inability to mentally concentrate and memory lapses”, and - at a later stage - his consciousness was “in the grip of erratic distortions” and “there was a feeling that my thought processes were covered with a toxic, a describable wave that erased all pleasant reactions to the living world.” There are also physical results: insomnia, feeling as indifferent as a zombie, "a kind of numbness, a relaxation, or rather a strange fragility" along with a "fussy restlessness." Then the pleasure completely disappeared: “Food, like everything else from the sphere of sensory sensations, completely lost its taste.” Finally, hope dies when the “gray drizzle of depressed mood” takes the form of despair so palpable that it resembles physical pain, and so unbearable that suicide begins to seem like the best option.

With such severe depression, life is paralyzed; no beginnings. The symptoms of depression themselves indicate a life on hold. Nothing for Styron medicines and no therapy helped; Only time and shelter in the form of a hospital dispelled despondency. But for most people, especially in less severe cases, psychotherapy can help, as can drug therapy: Prozac is the current treatment, but there are more than a dozen other compounds that provide some relief, especially for severe depression.

But here I want to focus on a much more common sadness, the upper limit of which, from a formal point of view, reaches the level of “asymptomatic depression,” that is, ordinary melancholia. This is a circle of depressed states that people can cope with on their own if they have their own spiritual resources. Unfortunately, some of the strategies that are most often used can backfire unexpectedly, leaving people feeling worse than before. One such strategy is simple solitude, which often seems very attractive when people are depressed; however, more often than not, this only adds to the sadness a feeling of loneliness and disconnection. This may partly explain Tice's discovery that the most popular tactic for fighting depression is socializing—going out to eat, go to a baseball game, or go to the movies, in short, doing things with friends or family. This works very well if the end result is to get rid of sad thoughts. But it will simply improve the mood if a person takes this opportunity to reflect on what made him blue.

In fact, one of the main factors determining whether a depressed state will persist or dissipate is the degree of immersion in dull thoughts. Worrying about what is depressing us seems to make the depression deeper and longer lasting. During depression, anxiety takes over different shapes, but the focus is always on some aspect of depression itself: how exhausted we feel, how little energy or motivation we have left, or how little work we get done, for example. Typically, none of these thoughts are accompanied by specific actions that would help alleviate the problem. Other common worries include ideas like: “isolating yourself from everyone and everything and ruminating on how terrible you feel; worry that your spouse will reject you because you are depressed; worry, wondering if another one is waiting for you sleepless night”, according to Stanford University psychologist Susan Nolen-Hauksma, who has devoted a lot of time to studying the circle of thoughts of people in a state of depression.

People in a depressed mood sometimes evaluate their reflections as an attempt to “understand themselves better”; in fact, they feed their despondency without taking any steps that would actually help them dispel the bad mood. So, from a therapeutic perspective, it can be very helpful to think deeply about the causes of depression if it leads to insight or action that changes the conditions that led to depression. But passive immersion in despondency only aggravates Bad mood.

Constant chewing anxious thoughts also increases depression, creating conditions that are even more depressing. Nolen-Hauksma cites the example of a telephone saleswoman who became depressed and spent hours frustrated over her inability to close important sales deals. Because of this, her trading deteriorated, instilling in her a sense of failure that fueled her depression. If she had tried to distract herself from her depression, she would have thrown herself into her work, energetically calling clients and seeing it as a way to get rid of sad thoughts. Sales of goods would most likely not have declined, and the feeling of a successful sale would have strengthened her self-confidence, somehow reducing her depression.

According to Nolen-Hauksma, women are much more to a greater extent prone to sad thoughts than men. This, she believes, at least partly explains the fact that women are diagnosed with depression twice as often as men. Of course, other factors also contribute: for example, women are more noticeable about their misfortunes, and in addition, they have more reasons for despondency in life. Men can always drown their sorrows in wine, doing this about twice as often as women.

Cognitive therapy aimed at changing these thought patterns has been shown in some studies to be as good as drug therapy in terms of treatment mild degree clinical depression and is superior to medications in preventing the return of mild depression. Two strategies proved particularly effective in this battle. One of them is learning to question the thoughts at the center of thinking, that is, questioning their validity and finding more positive alternatives. Another strategy involves deliberately scheduling pleasant, distracting events.

The only reason that distraction is triggered is that depressing thoughts act automatically, unceremoniously encroaching on a person’s state of mind. Even if depressed people try to suppress sad thoughts, they often fail to find better alternatives; as soon as a wave of oppressive thoughts rushes in, it begins to have a powerful attracting effect on the chain of associations. When depressed people were asked, for example, to parse jumbled four-word sentences, they were much better at understanding depressing sentences (“The future looks very bleak”) than they were at understanding optimistic sentiments (“The future looks extremely bright”).

With a persistent tendency towards depression, even those methods of distraction that people find for themselves are darkened. When depressed people were given a list of upbeat or boring ways to take their minds off something sad, such as a friend's funeral, they were more inclined to choose melancholic activities. Richard Wentzlaff, a psychologist at the University of Texas who conducted these studies, concluded that people who were already depressed had to make a special effort to pay attention to something completely joyful, because they were afraid of inadvertently choosing something - a tearful film, a sad novel - which will ruin their mood again.

Ways to cheer up

Imagine that you are driving a car in the fog on an unfamiliar, steeply winding road. Suddenly, a car pulls off the road just a few feet in front of you, and you are unable to stop in time. You press the brake pedal to the floor as hard as you can, your car skids and crashes into the side of another car.

You have time to notice - just before the glass breaks -

flies to pieces and metal is pressed into metal - that it is full of children who are being taken to kindergarten. Then, in the sudden silence that followed the collision, a friendly cry is heard. You run up to this car and see that one of the children is lying motionless. You are filled with remorse and grief at the sight of this tragedy...

Such chilling stories were used to upset the volunteers who participated in Wenzlaff's experiments. Then they had to, having tried to put this scene out of their heads, make short notes about the direction of their own thoughts for nine minutes, and whenever the thought about it tragic episode penetrated into their consciousness, they, continuing to write, made a control mark on the piece of paper. And although most of the participants in the experiment remembered less and less about that unpleasant picture over time, those who were in a more depressed mood began to have such thoughts come to mind much more. more often, they even indirectly addressed her in thoughts, which seemed to serve as a means of distraction for them.

Moreover, volunteers prone to depression resorted to other depressing thoughts to distract themselves. As Wenzlaff later told me, “The association of thoughts occurs not just in content, but also in mood. People have a set of depressing thoughts running through their heads, which come most readily when they are in a bad mood. People who become easily depressed tend to create very strong associations between these thoughts, so that it is much more difficult to suppress them once the person is already in a bad mood. Ironically, people in a depressed state, in order to get some upsetting episode out of their heads, remember something else, but similar in content, which only arouses even more negative emotions.”

One theory is that crying may be a natural way to lower levels of chemicals in the brain that ignite grief. But although sobs can sometimes break the spell of sadness, they cannot eliminate the causes of despair. The idea of ​​“useful crying” is wrong: crying, which reinforces a mental experience, only prolongs the suffering. Entertainment breaks the chain of thoughts that feed despondency. One of the leading theories about why electroconvulsive therapy (i.e., electric shock) is effective in treating the most severe forms of depression is that it causes short-term memory loss: patients feel better because they cannot remember what they were about. so sad. In any case, to shake off ordinary sadness, as Diana Theis advises, many resort to entertainment such as reading, television and cinema, video games and puzzles, sleep and daydreaming, such as fantasizing about how to spend another vacation. Wenzlaff adds to this that the most effective entertainment is those that can dramatically change your mood, for example, an exciting sports competition, a funny comedy, a humorous book. (Some caution must be exercised here. Some people's anxiety can actually make them more depressed. Research shows that even the most avid TV watchers tend to feel even more depressed after watching a few programs than they were before they turned on the TV!)

Aerobics, according to Theis, is one of the most effective means of helping to lift a person out of mild depression, as well as to dispel a simply bad mood. Here, however, it is appropriate to note that mood-lifting physical exercises work best on the lazy, that is, on those who usually do not exercise too much. For those who do gymnastics every day, the benefits it brings in terms of changing their mood were greatest when they first started developing this habit. By the way, regular exercise often has the opposite effect on mood: people begin to feel discomfort if they miss a workout. So effective influence physical exercise, apparently, is explained by the fact that they change the physiological state of a person caused by his mood: depression is a state of low activity, and aerobics “pushes” the body into a state of high activity. In addition, various relaxation methods that lower the tone of the body have a good effect on anxiety when activity is quite high, but they do not help much with depression. These methods appear to work by interrupting the cyclical progression of depression or anxiety because they all shift the brain to a level of activation that is incompatible with emotional state, who subjugated the brain to his power.

Another fairly popular remedy for the blues was to cheer yourself up with treats and sensual pleasures. When depressed, people usually consoled themselves by taking a hot bath or eating their favorite foods, listening to music, or having sex. Buying yourself a gift or something tasty to get rid of a bad mood - as well as shopping in general, even if it was limited to window shopping - was especially popular among women. In observing college professors and students, Tice noticed that women were three times more likely than men to use food as their strategy for relieving sadness; on the other hand, men who were depressed were five times more likely to turn to drink or drugs. The trouble with overeating or drinking alcohol as a cure for depression is the unexpected and unpleasant consequences that they can easily lead to: gluttony entails shame, and alcohol affects the central nervous system as a depressant and only aggravates the manifestations of depression itself.

A more constructive method of improving mood, according to Theis, is to organize a modest victory or easy success: you can, for example, energetically tackle a long-postponed task. general cleaning the whole house or finally do some other things that you have long needed to put in order. In addition, the elevation to the idea of ​​oneself or oneself, which is achieved even by simply dressing up or putting on makeup, had an encouraging effect.

One of the most powerful - and used almost exclusively in therapy - remedies for depression is a change in perspective, orcognitive reconstruction.It's natural to mourn the end of a relationship and indulge in self-pitying thoughts, such as the belief that "this means I'll always be alone," but this is a sure way to deepen feelings of despair. However, if you step back and think about why your relationship was not so strong and long and why you and your partner were not suitable for each other, in other words, look at this loss differently, in a more positive light, this will be the cure for sadness. Therefore, cancer patients, no matter how serious their condition, remained in better mood, if they could remember another patient who was even worse (“I’m probably not so bad - I can at least walk”); those who compared themselves with healthy people, experienced the greatest depression. Similar comparisons in the worst cases they are surprisingly reassuring: what seemed so depressing suddenly begins to look not so bad.

There is one more effective way getting out of depression means helping those who are in difficult circumstances. Because depression is fueled by self-reflection and preoccupation with one's own interests, helping others takes us away from these concerns by empathizing deeply with the feelings of people experiencing suffering. When someone threw themselves into volunteer work—coaching Little League, being a big brother, caring for a homeless person—these activities, Tice's research showed, were among the most powerful ways to change mood. But also one of the rarest.

Well, at least some people are able to get rid of their melancholy by turning to some supernatural force. As Theis told me, “Prayer, if you are very religious, has a beneficial effect on all moods, and especially on depression.”