How to get rid of bad thoughts. In harmony with yourself: getting rid of gloomy thoughts

By the way, many of our unconscious fears come from childhood. For example, parents constantly told their child: “You klutz! Everything falls out of your hands—you can’t do anything.” As a result, the attitude “I can’t do anything” is formed and the person is afraid of new things, new ideas, new work.

If the situations are similar, and you (approximately or exactly) understand the reason for the cheating, we are aware of your fear and you can work with it yourself.

For example, if panic occurs when the husband is late at work or bad thoughts enter his head, when he cannot reach the child by phone, or when a girl is afraid of a new relationship, since all the young men abandoned her first.

In such cases, it is necessary to work with fear. So, we have decided where the legs of obsessive thoughts come from; now, with an effort of will, we stop the interfering thoughts. intrusive thoughts and analyze the situation.

Let’s look at the situation: “My husband is late at work.” We ask ourselves: how do I feel? That I will be betrayed? That he will leave me? Next, we admit to ourselves that the fear of betrayal, the fear of loneliness and other fears are natural for humans. Then we ask ourselves the question: “What can I really do to improve the situation?” And we do it. For example, you can call, tell about your excitement, ask when to expect him home. Or find out if anything has happened or if you need help. After this, two scenarios are possible.

How to stop beating yourself up

First option: you called, your husband replied that he would be home in an hour. You calmed down and got down to something useful. It is advisable to choose a task so that it captures you to the maximum. For example, go through things in the closet, dust off collectibles, eat your favorite dessert.

Later, in a calm atmosphere, together with your husband, discuss how you worry when he is late at work and ask him to find time to warn you about this. Just don’t say that all your former boyfriends abandoned you and that he also wants to leave. Leave your fantasies and don't program your man. It’s better to say that you are very sensitive and that he is very dear to you, so you are worried.

How to stop thinking about bad things and stressing yourself out? How to learn to switch to something else at these moments? Such questions often arise in all people. Problems at work, in the family, the global situation, bad weather, financial difficulties and much more can unsettle you for a long time and deprive you of peace of mind for weeks and months. Constantly being in such an anxious state also threatens with loss of health.

Let's look at what situations anxiety states and thoughts can poison our lives:

daily flow of negative information which we perceive from the Internet and the media;
constant fear of not being able to do something in time, not to do, not to achieve;
worry about family and friends, depressing thoughts that something bad might happen to them;
fear of old age and poverty, often haunted by thoughts about the unreliability of tomorrow;
fear of standing out from the crowd, do something contrary to generally accepted norms and rules;
fear of loneliness, disappointment in people;
worry about weather conditions in their area and the climate on Earth in general.

This is far from full list what causes anxious thoughts and anxiety. Cope with with this condition it's not always easy. But it needs to be done. We offer you several methods that will help you overcome prolonged gloomy states and force you to stop stressing yourself out.

Doing physical exercise

Very effective and useful method which helps free yourself from negative thoughts , - This sports. Exercise, such as squats, short jogging, jumping, perfectly invigorate the body and change thoughts with a minus sign to the opposite. Of course, if you are in a gloomy mood at work, it is unlikely that it will be comfortable to run and jump there. But move a little, do a few bends, stretch your neck and hands possible at any workplace.

It’s good practice to start every morning with exercise. This will not only help keep your body in good shape, but will also keep you in a cheerful mood.

Stop worrying about trifles

Many people tend to worry because of fictitious non-existent problems. Shackled by rules and conventions, some of which we invent for ourselves, we often poisoning our own lives constant unrest. But if you think about it, Are these problems real and so dangerous?

In the current difficult situation it is necessary look for solutions, and not just wait for the inevitable. But 90% of such problems are our fears and concerns: what if something happens? What if it doesn't happen? Then it turns out that how much You wasted your time and your health worrying and empty expectations of a bad outcome. Similar constant worriesdarken life making it empty and uninteresting. And they also really undermine your health. After all, scientists have long proven how negative thoughts can affect our physical body , leading to diseases of various organs.

Sharing experiences with loved ones

If negative, depressive thoughts do not want to free your head, you should ask good friends or loved ones for help. Even simple heartfelt conversation Having tea with a friend can somewhat relieve the tension of what you think is an existing problem. Share with a loved one experiences. Opportunity speak out loud your problems, even fictitious ones, helps you to internally liberate yourself from the heaviness in your soul.

In addition, joint thinking will allow you to find the desired solution if the pressing problem is so serious. And the opportunity to express thoughts that concern you will ease the soul.

We accept water procedures

Since ancient times water has been attributed medicinal properties. It also helps to cope with dark thoughts. Regular visit to the swimming pool It cleanses well of negative thoughts.

At home you can take a relaxing aromatic bath before bed. Add a few drops of lavender, rosewood, and jasmine oil to the water.

This procedure will calm and relieve anxious thoughts and will help cope with insomnia.

Contrast shower in the morning it will put you in a working mood and get rid of gloomy thoughts. It will even help regular washing with cold water. At work, you can simply wet a handkerchief or napkin and apply it to your forehead and temples, which will cool and calm you a little.

Very often people tend to overthink themselves due to lack of confidence in own strength, imaginary shortcomings and fictitious problems. There are many people who are constantly engaged self-criticism and soul-searching, looking for non-existent shortcomings in yourself. Costs stop practicing such harmful things and spend internal dialogue to yourself: is everything so bad, are your affairs so terrible.

Look around you There are people for whom things may not be going as rosy as you. Look at those who are next to you, they you are loved and appreciated. And after this, can one consider oneself an unhappy person? A good portion will help you stop criticizing and overthinking yourself. positive emotions and even adrenaline. Go to visit, to the cinema, to the theater, arrange fun party with friends. There is an opportunity, go on vacation.

Look how the world around you is beautiful! You live here and now. And why think about something bad that may never happen.

Often we ourselves spoil our lives: under the influence of a rich imagination, we make melodramatic ones out of insignificant events. And now we were not just offended with a caustic phrase, but humiliated with prejudice, at least. Agree that this happens. This process is destructive, it distorts reality, spoils relationships with people, and it is necessary to fight it. How to stop beating yourself up if, due to your personality characteristics, you are afraid of everything?

What does it mean to beat yourself up?

Mostly women are subject to fantasies, while men believe their eyes and facts. But even among them there are inventors. Therefore, the problem is relevant for everyone.

To solve it, understand the mechanisms.

And it turns out like this:

When the brain lacks information, it produces it itself. This is natural, since everything incomprehensible and unknown is frightening;
When completing this or that plot, the psyche works due to its depravity. Everything plays a role here: in what conditions a person grew up, how he lives now, what complexes he has accumulated;
This essence manifests itself at the moment of danger. If the nerves are already shaken, the same thing is formed anxiety, as a provoking factor.

In this video, psychologist Diana Voevodova will tell you how to stop being nervous about anything:

How to stop giving yourself bad thoughts?

There are special techniques:

Cutting off. Once the process has started, cut it off. Sharply, without delay. Show your will, throw out all the wrong pictures from your consciousness and don’t let them develop;
Or, on the contrary, spin the thought to such an extent that you yourself are terribly scared. Then self-defense will work: what you have invented will begin to seem funny. You will understand the absurdity of what is happening, return to everyday life;
Use the first and second methods: first cut off what interferes with your normal life, if it doesn’t work, use the second point.

Experiment, try, but don’t leave it to chance, find a way to solve the problem. Learn to control yourself. After all, inventors ruin their health. Due to constant worries, the nerves give out, and many chronic diseases appear from them.

Fight complexes

Get rid of self-doubt and low self-esteem immediately. When a person understands his importance to others, it will not occur to him that someone wants to offend him.

If there is a problem with self-esteem, the sick person exhausts himself with all sorts of fictions. Make it a rule:

Act despite your shortcomings . After all, you know which ones you have. We'll have to break them. To complete this difficult task, mark your achievements in a notebook: “A month ago I went on a diet, lost 5 kilograms, fit into last year’s jeans and look better.” Or “Today at work I realized that I am becoming a specialist and I need to study further in order to grow professionally.” By reading the notes, you will push yourself forward, because it is always so nice to realize that you are growing above yourself;
Before bed remember all the good things per day. Even if it was not enough, learn to find it;

Gradually, step by step, you will begin to improve. The noted feats will delight you. Self-confidence will return.

Separate reality and fantasy

Usually, “cheating” occurs on future events. You have time, you spend it coming up with an ending for them. Knowing this characteristic of yourself, stop believing what comes to mind. Surely you have already been convinced many times: your ideas are untenable. And to help yourself, take a break.

A busy person usually has no time to stress himself out, so get busy:

Sport- Suitable for soul and body. Choose workouts for fun and enjoy;
Hobby. If you are passionate about something, make beautiful crafts yourself that people like, for example, embroider, cut out, sculpt, draw, then you will begin to think just as beautifully. In addition, paintings and figurines can be given as gifts, friends and acquaintances will be pleased, and you will feel your importance;
Charity. Start helping others, not necessarily with money: with care, good conversation. There are a lot of lonely old people who simply have no one to talk to, abandoned children. You give them affection, they will thank you. When you look at real loneliness and hopelessness, you will realize that everything is fine with you.

This way you will be distracted and learn to appreciate the most valuable things in life.

Get rid of fears and smile

Suspicious individuals are afraid of literally everything: a neighbor was found terrible disease and immediately they see its symptoms in themselves.

As is known self-hypnosis is a great thing. And even if there are no symptoms, they will appear soon. And if suddenly the neighbor is not sick, the inventors will begin to be afraid of the unknown, waiting for it to appear soon.

But most often the object of fear is death - this is the most senseless fear. How can you be afraid of the inevitable? We need to be glad that until she comes, there is an opportunity to bask in the sun, be sad and have fun - experience emotions, be close to loved ones. And it’s important to understand this before it’s too late. Seriously ill people teach us this, look, sometimes they think more positively than healthy people.

A sense of humor can help. The ability to joke may not completely, but it partially eliminates suspiciousness. Force yourself to smile in the face of your enemies, because Even in fairy tales, evil is defeated with a smile.

How to stop beating yourself up in relationships?

Girls are inventors without exception, especially if they are left alone for a long time. Then the woman begins to think and “get over it,” and this, as a rule, does not lead to good things.

Often only nonsense accumulates in their heads. For example, a husband goes to a neighbor’s to fix a washing machine or goes on a business trip with a young colleague, and the wife is left alone with her problems.

Women's fantasy is special; sometimes it tears even strong, established marriages apart at the seams. To save them, work on yourself.

When the fly begins to turn into an elephant, take up your breathing: inhale and exhale, counting, at least 10 times;
Take an iron, they say ironing works better than any sedative;
Understand that the problem is only you. Trust your spouse, call, tell about your experiences. It’s better to have an honest conversation than to later attack an unsuspecting husband with complaints. Once or twice he will understand that if this is repeated regularly, no one will be able to tolerate it.

Perhaps, best option- talk about your fantastic problems and together you will find a way out. Perhaps he will call more often and pay more attention.

It's not easy to change your long-term habits, but sometimes it's vital. If you're wondering how to stop stressing yourself out, then it's time to do it.

In this video, psychologist Anna Poroshina will give some tips on how you can get rid of negative thoughts and stop regularly beating yourself up:

Relationships are built primarily on trust and understanding. But there are times when trust disappears, and a rather difficult period of relationships begins. Most often, when a feeling of jealousy appears.

Jealousy is a strong negative emotion and can take on negative traits. Girls can be jealous of their loved one not only of representatives of the opposite sex, but even of work, of friends, of his interests and hobbies. And this is very scary, because it’s not far from paranoia.

And the worst thing is that a girl can really destroy a relationship with her jealousy. Indeed, because of her despondency, eternal nagging, discontent and suspicion, she becomes unbearable. And the guy may get tired of all this very soon. The girl should try to stop experiencing this depressing feeling as quickly as possible in order to save the relationship.

How to stop being jealous and beating yourself up?

Sometimes it’s quite difficult to stop overthinking yourself, because a guy has so many temptations around him: social media, a huge social circle, colleagues, dating sites. All this leads to the fact that the girl experiences fear and jealousy, because she is afraid that her beloved may succumb to temptation.

You should realize: main reason the occurrence of jealousy is self-doubt! If a girl constantly compares herself with her partner’s ex-girlfriends, then this a clear sign uncertainty.

Yes, perhaps the guy is really sociable and friendly with other girls, but this is not a reason to be jealous of him. Therefore, pull yourself together and follow the advice of psychologists:

First, you need to understand that we all experience feelings of possessiveness. This is not a pathology or a disease. But getting rid of this feeling can be quite difficult. However, it is necessary to do this, otherwise you can make your life miserable.
Calmly analyze the reasons for jealousy. If there are no obvious reasons, then start with yourself. You need to work on your confidence.
If there are clear reasons for jealousy, then calmly discuss it with your loved one. Explain to him that you are hurt by his behavior and that his actions are very unpleasant to you. Let the man speak for himself, do not interrupt him. Perhaps he is also not satisfied with something. You need to try to find a mutual compromise.
Trust your man. Trust is the key to a happy and strong relationship. Let it become mutual for you.
Don't control his life with calls or messages. These actions can lead to the guy being irritated and rude. After all, he will be embarrassed in front of his colleagues and comrades.
Well, the most important thing is to take care of your own life. Become independent from your partner. Find yourself a hobby or pleasant leisure time, communicate with new people. And then you will have no time left to control and be jealous of your chosen one.

How to stop being jealous of a guy?

Unfortunately, we can be jealous of a guy for many things:

To everyone. This indicates a clear lack of self-confidence. You don't respect yourself so much that you think a guy can cheat on you with anyone. Do you think that about yourself? Are you worthy of such treatment? Of course not. And your boyfriend thinks the same, because he chose you, and is unlikely to want to challenge his decision. Unless you yourself push him to this with your jealousy. So stop doubting him immediately. Boost your confidence: go shopping, go to a salon, sign up for training. If it is difficult to cope with this feeling on your own, then seek help from a psychologist.
TO ex-girlfriend. Jealousy towards your loved one's ex-girlfriend may arise if you notice that your partner has begun to contact her. You need to understand what caused this and find out what they are talking about. Perhaps this is just about general affairs, but if not, then think about why he is doing this. Maybe he is missing something in the relationship. Try to keep your emotions in hand and delicately talk to your guy about this topic. When you find out the reason, try to eradicate it and change your relationship better side. Then jealousy will instantly disappear.
To his girlfriend. Jealousy towards a partner's girlfriend occurs if he spends a lot of time with her. But don't rush to conclusions. After all, a young man can simply support a lonely girl in this way. The best thing you can do is to unobtrusively control the situation and trust your partner, giving him your attention and tenderness. And guys never leave affectionate, caring and well-groomed girls, even for their best friend.
Jealousy of ex-boyfriend appears if you yourself are not in a relationship. You should understand and accept the fact that the past cannot be returned, so focus exclusively on your personal life. If there is no suitable candidate for the role of a guy, then throw yourself into work, or find yourself a hobby. Visit more often public places, get acquainted, communicate. Become interesting, first of all to yourself. Understand that you are a unique person by birth and therefore will soon appear in your life ideal partner. Should you keep your heart closed with jealousy towards your ex?

How to stop being jealous of a friend?

We can also start to be jealous of a friend:

To another friend. This happens if you start to notice that she is spending more time with another friend. You're worried that your friendship might fall apart. But you value it so much and don’t want to share it with anyone. This happens quite often. The main thing to do is to calm down. You shouldn’t quarrel right away; on the contrary, invite your friend to go to the cinema together, or invite her to visit you for an overnight stay. Find out why she likes her new friend so much, what she does. Analyze this, maybe something will be useful to you in your friendship. And in general, try to understand and also make friends with new girlfriend. The three of us are much more fun.
To the guy. When a girl has a boyfriend, she devotes more time to her friends. The friend, of course, begins to be jealous, because she is used to everything free time girls spend time together. But this is life, and it is important to understand that we have moved to another stage. Don't try to give your friend an ultimatum and insist that she make a choice between you and the guy. This won't lead to anything good. Understand that everyone has the right to their own privacy, and you will soon have it too. Improve your relationship with her boyfriend, and also take care of your personal life.

How to stop being jealous of your husband?

Feelings of jealousy are especially dangerous in family relationships, because it can have a very detrimental effect and even destroy a marriage. How to stop being jealous of your husband ex-wife?

To avoid this you need to behave wisely and competently:

Firstly, a spouse cannot be prohibited from communicating with a child from a previous marriage.
Secondly, do not limit your husband’s freedom. If your fears are still too strong, then calmly and sincerely tell your husband about this and find a compromise.
If both you and your husband have children, then do not compare them. They must be equal in everything. Don't glorify your child. This will only alienate the spouse and push him towards his ex-wife. The ideal option would be if you introduce the children and try to establish contact not only between them, but also with ex-wife spouse. It’s not for nothing that they say – keep the enemy closer.
But rather, to get rid of jealousy, you need to stop thinking about your rival. To do this, you should analyze what exactly worries you, why is she better than you? If she is more well-groomed than you, then you will have an extra reason to go to the salon and get yourself in order. If you are smarter than you, then it's time to read smart books, sign up for a hobby club.
If she constantly calls your spouse, then listen to what they are talking about. Assess the situation objectively. Understand that the main reason for jealousy is self-doubt. If there are other serious reasons, then share with your husband, say everything you feel and see. Don't accumulate negativity within yourself. Understatement and dissatisfaction can ultimately lead to disastrous consequences. Talk peacefully with your spouse and sincerely tell them what is bothering you so much.

How to stop being jealous of your ex-husband?

Jealousy towards your ex-husband most often arises from the fact that you have not yet completely let him go. Just recently he was yours legal spouse, and now on the other. Yes, it is not easy, but this fact must be accepted as soon as possible. Don’t hold a grudge against him, forgive him for everything and let him go, because with with a pure heart much easier to live.

To make it easier for you to come to terms with new life husband - you need to take care of yourself.

Make your life richer and more varied: go on trips, sign up for trainings, seminars, start doing yoga or aerobics, find a hobby you like. In a word, make your life more interesting than his. After all, you already have completely different roads. Therefore, you need to make sure that your road is much brighter and more interesting than his.

Well, most importantly, don’t forget about own relationships. Be kind, smiling and open to new relationships. And they will certainly burst into your life and bring new, bright, joyful and happy emotions. And then up to ex-husband, you won't care anymore. Unless gratitude remains to him, because it was thanks to him that you gained valuable experience, were able to become wiser and built new happy relationships.

How to stop being jealous of the past?

Every person has his own past. And jealousy of the past is a rather stupid and thankless task.

How to stop being jealous:

To my husband's past. If the husband was previously married to beautiful woman, this is not a reason to start being jealous of him. First you need to understand that the past is an integral part of any life, and it should not displace the present. The more you think about the past, the greater the role it will play in life. Your husband has legitimized the relationship - this is the most important thing that needs to be emphasized. Shift your attention from jealousy to your current relationship. Make them more interesting, more harmonious, richer. Arrange romance for your husband, relax together, start renovations, and then you will understand that there is no trace of jealousy left.
To the guy's past. Statistics show that more than 80% of couples have already experienced love when they enter into a relationship. This is quite normal. You need to understand that being jealous of a guy’s past means that you doubt the present. This fact can irritate your partner and push them away from you. Don't try to find out more about your partner's past girlfriends, it's stupid. Better take care of your current relationships, create your own traditions, celebrate holidays, get to know and open up to each other every day. Don’t copy your loved one’s past girlfriends, because for some reason he left them for you. It means he likes you the way you are, remember that. Learn to live for today, because we are really only happy in the present.

Psychologists say that in order to stop being jealous of a guy, you need to stop looking for reasons. It’s not for nothing that they say that those who seek always find. On the contrary, try to justify your loved one, even if there is a fit of jealousy.

Try to always think positively, because we attract what we think about. Don't confront your fears and worries directly and openly - it won't help. Remember the example of the attitude “Stop thinking about the white monkey”; after that, few people will be able to stop thinking and not imagining this monkey. The same is true with jealousy.

Just try to focus your attention on something else: on family, friends, work, hobbies, on yourself. Be filled with positive emotions that will certainly be transferred to your chosen one. And then he himself will begin to reach out to you more and more, and doubts about his fidelity will forever dissolve without a trace.

In the article you will learn:

How to stop beating yourself up in relationships?

Hello friends! Today we will talk about women's favorite topic. But I recommend reading the article not only for women, but also for men. It will help you avoid a lot of unnecessary conflicts! So, how to stop beating yourself up in relationships and not thinking about bad things in vain.

My thoughts are my horses

My husband is late at work, does not answer calls, or, moreover, the phone is completely turned off! Did your child not come home from school on time? Or he came, but with bruises and how they appeared - he doesn’t tell. Past work was not very successful and it’s hard to get a new job.
What happens to a person who beats himself up? Right! He assumes the worst. That is, the husband is cheating, the child is lost and he is beaten at school. New job will be just as unsuccessful. That's it, the process is irreversible, panic and Armageddon of the brain have started.
As a rule, the reasons for situations turn out to be banal; there can be thousands of them. There is no real reason to think bad. Or, for example, blame yourself for past mistakes. But the relationship is deteriorating quite realistically. A person has only thought about something and has already experienced a small catastrophe in his life.

Why do we make mountains out of molehills?

I gave the most obvious examples, but if you live by the principle of overthinking yourself, then such tactics will come back to haunt you in all areas of life. There will be more reasons to be offended, afraid, angry and nervous. There are only two things you need to understand in all of this. key points:

Reason for overthinking: anxiety caused by a person’s neuroticism, and low self-esteem;
A healthy psyche and adequate self-esteem are the key to strong nerves and good relationships.

Let's go in order. So, why do we like to tell ourselves horror stories? I won’t bog you down with psychology and will briefly introduce you to the concept of a neurotic personality. This is a person who has difficulty adapting to reality. His most common reaction is fear. This is an internal tension that becomes a constant feeling of anxiety.

Anxiety- the main characteristic of a neurotic. It deprives a person of will, logical thinking, and gives rise to selfishness. For example, if I tell such a partner that I am tired and want to rest, then he will not hear the need for rest. He will hear that they don’t want to pay attention to him now.

Another negative habit - uncertainty in yourself and in the world around you. Such people are often engage in self-criticism, are tormented by complexes and they are unsure of their future and are afraid of uncertainty. Hence the desire to control everything. After all, at any moment something can go wrong. And if everything is under control, then it’s not so scary.

Consequently, when something unusual happens, the brain of such a person creates the illusion of control. He comes up with all the scenarios for the development of events. Up to the most terrible ones. That is, having assumed the worst, the psyche is already ready for anything. As they say, no tricks.

And it doesn’t matter that logic requires at least some facts and evidence. This is the world of emotions. There is no need for logic here. And as you know, women are most susceptible to emotions. That's why they so often cheat themselves into something unknown.

We are overthinking ourselves: who is to blame?

This does not mean that we are all hysterical and completely neurotic, no! For some, these manifestations are weak and rare. For some, frequent and strong. And all this develops with easy encouragement from unfortunate parents. Who, instead of helping their child learn to live and respond adequately to situations, traumatized his psyche with swearing, screaming and quarrels.

And then it turns out that the person has grown, and immature reactions. Besides different fears, program for failure, difficulties in achieving goals, intimate problems, unstable emotions. And a separate conversation is relationships! After all, it’s rarely possible to think about bad things without consequences. Showdowns are sure to occur on this basis. Groundless jealousy, suspicion, fear of loss and even hatred are born!

So what should I do?

But let's move on to the most important thing. How can you stop beating yourself up, especially? if the relationship is precious and it is important to preserve it.
Here I have highlighted two areas of work:

tactical
strategic

Tactical is needed in order to relieve anxious tension here and now. Get rid of terrible pictures and maintain your nerves during a “dangerous” situation for the psyche. My husband, for example, hasn’t picked up the phone for a long time. Or he said that he was at dinner with his partner, and he turned off the phone.
Strategic is necessary so that in the future there will be no such habit as overthinking oneself. And then you won’t have to be nervous and needlessly harass your loved one with calls and conversations.

Ambulance

So, instructions for the “here and now” situation. When it’s too late to drink Borjomi, common sense has already given up:

First task: focus on your breathing. That's right. In moments of fear, breathing is shallow and the pulse is rapid. You just need to breathe. Smooth, slow and deep. If it gets easier, keep a mental count.
Immediately take a break. Do anything that will occupy your hands and mind. You can start doing something around the house, in the kitchen, or turn on loud music, or make some business calls.
If it doesn't help, then by any means reach the brain. Problems on at the moment in reality no. It's only in your head. Therefore, operate with facts, no more and no less. If necessary, write them down on a piece of paper and focus on them.
Give yourself term, at what point will you start to worry and worry. Set an alarm clock for this if necessary. For now, no, no.

Let's think about ourselves, loved ones

And so that in the future you do not worry about any reason, get rid of the habit of overthinking yourself. It is as unnecessary and acquired as the habit of smoking.

Reduce your anxiety levels. Learn to stand stronger on your feet and feel confident in your existence. When you realize that anything can happen, the world is changing, but no matter what happens, you will be fine. It is best to do this under the supervision of a specialist.
Increase your self-esteem. Learn positive thinking, read books about it, do things. Set yourself goals and achieve them. Start with the smallest ones. Remind yourself of your successes as often as possible. And most importantly, evaluate yourself, and not with the words or eyes of other people. I write about this in more detail in my article “What to do if low self-esteem haunts you.”
Learn to live, expand your skill set. Determine your usual styles of behavior and emotional reactions. Write them down on a piece of paper and write down at least three options for them that are still possible, but not used by you. And start training them.

These are the main methods on the path to healthy relationships with people. As one smart psychotherapist said: