What to do if your wife beats your child. Why does the husband beat the child? Destroying the main stereotype about victims of domestic violence

Beating is one of the most common manifestations of domestic tyranny. Unfortunately, the famous proverb about expressing love and affection by beating legal wife is not always the truth, and such a manifestation of feelings can cause significant damage to the health of all family members.

Many women do not seek to make their family relationships public, thereby endangering not only themselves, but also their children. What to do if a husband beats his wife and child - I will talk about this in this article.

○ My husband beats me... What should I do?

As I have already said more than once (see also the article), not all actions that cause pain can be qualified as beatings.

The Criminal Code provides for several crimes related to causing harm to health - here are beatings, torture, sexual assault and others.

So, if your spouse allows himself to assault himself, thereby causing pain and suffering, the following course of action is possible:

1) Call the police - the arriving law enforcement officers will need to write about the harm caused to you, describe all the circumstances of the beating, indicating all the ways of causing suffering, the objects that were used for the blows. The application will serve as the basis for conducting a forensic medical examination on the subject.

2) If it is not possible to short terms contact the police, I recommend visiting a medical facility and record beatings of husband. A district clinic, a trauma hospital, or just the nearest emergency room will do. In any case, the doctor will provide you with first aid and issue you with the document necessary in the future - a certificate that will reflect all the damage, the nature of its infliction, etc. will provide a guarantee that the beatings will be recorded and will allow the forensic expert to provide the conclusion necessary to initiate a criminal case.

3) After receiving a certificate of beating, I recommend contacting the police, if law enforcement officers were not called by you earlier, immediately after the incident. The procedure for further actions was announced by me above - writing a statement outlining all the circumstances of the beating. In this case, the basis for conducting a forensic medical examination will be the previously issued certificate of beatings.

It must be taken into account that beatings are this is a private crime. In other words, the police will not conduct examinations and checks without your application. Only contacting the police can lead to punishment for the perpetrator.

○ If a husband beats a child...

If a child is the victim of beating, in any case you should not be afraid to wash your dirty laundry in public. Beating a child is a crime that should not go unpunished.

The procedure here will be similar - the first thing to do is call the police. Of course, at the same time the child should be protected from further violent actions, try to hide him with neighbors, in an isolated room and any other safe place.

If you see that your child is in pain and the damage is not limited to simple bruises and abrasions, be sure to call ambulance. This will prevent serious consequences of injury. Ambulance doctors also organize receiving.

It should be noted that crimes against minors, including beatings, relate to crimes of public prosecution, that is, a statement from the victim will not be required here; a pre-investigation check will be carried out on the basis of medical documents about harm to the child’s health.

The punishment for such an act will also be more severe - the investigation sees the beating of children by qualified personnel, providing for more stringent sanctions.

○ How to legally punish a husband for beating?

Punishment for beatings is provided for in Article 116 of the Criminal Code of the Russian Federation, according to which the offender may be sentenced both in the form of a fine, compulsory and corrective labor, and in the form of actual imprisonment. The severity of the punishment will depend on the circumstances, including the presence of relapse, the severity of the harm caused, the presence of signs qualified staff. The decision on punishment is always made by the court.

In order to punish someone who raised his hand against his family, you must contact the police. It is very likely that any punishment will be a lesson to him.

I outlined the procedure in case of beatings above. In any case, you should definitely. The criminal can only be punished if the specified documents are in hand.

Be sure to keep in mind that if a child is the victim of beating, then this fact will serve as the basis for. A father deprived of such rights does not have the right to participate in raising a child, to meet with him, and he will not be able to continue to demand alimony for his maintenance in the event of poor old age or incapacity for work.

You are faced with a situation: a mother beats her child. Perhaps it is your neighbor or colleague, or maybe a relative. Or you saw this right on the street. What to do? You can turn away and pass by, not notice and forget. You can ignore this behavior of a woman for years. So many people do this. But maybe it’s worth doing something, because, as you know, there are no other people’s children and no other people’s destinies? If you have a desire to take some action, this is commendable and good - perhaps you can really help the child. But before doing anything, it is still necessary to understand the causes and consequences of violence from the mother. So that the action you take is accurate and really helps.

Mother hits child: what to do in such a situation?
What are the real reasons domestic violence? What pushes a mother to beat her own children?
What will happen to a child if his mother beats him? How does this affect his psychology?

For some it's just simple words, and for some it’s a home situation from which there is no escape or escape. Mom hits the child... What to do? Where to go? First, we need to understand the situation, understand where the violence and beatings come from. And then, it is very desirable to provide psychological assistance. And not only for the child, but also for the mother, for whom beating a child is a hidden stress, but, unfortunately, also an action from which she can't refuse.

Domestic violence - mother beats child, although it would be nice to hit husband

Everything in this world has its reasons. It is not possible for an action to happen without any beginning. We tend to look for roots in the surrounding reality. The child did something bad and his mother hit him. The child stole, his mother beat him and punished him. Everything seems to be on the surface, everything is simple. But in fact, this is how we replace causes and effects, because a child’s behavior is just a reason for a woman to let off steam, to vent her tension on someone. But the reason for her tension always lies not in the child’s behavior, but very deeply in herself.

Today we already have the opportunity to truly uncover the causes of domestic violence. Both from father and mother. And to do this, you need to look at the situation not through yourself, your properties and understanding of life, but through the prism of new unique knowledge - system-vector thinking. So we will see that all domestic violence, severe beatings, are created exclusively by people with an anal vector in the state their personal shortcomings.

Other people can also hit a child, but this is not the kind of violence that can cause psychological harm. A person with the skin vector may hit the baby in anger, but would rather forbid him or deprive him of entertainment or toys. But targeted beatings are always carried out only by people with an anal vector in a state of accumulated social or sexual frustrations.

To understand the causes of female violence against children in the family, it is necessary to understand two aspects. In the anal vector of a person and in the mental superstructure that we all have.

So, woman with anal vector, as a rule, good wife and mother. By nature, she is not a careerist and strives to start a family, have children, create comfort in the home - this is her role, this is joy for her. She also has a high sexual libido, which means her demands for intimate relationships are quite high. For an anal woman, it is very important that her husband takes care of her, is attentive, and does not forget to praise her for delicious dinner, cleanliness and order in everything. It is when all of the above conditions are combined that an anal woman makes an excellent wife and mother.

But life doesn't always work out perfectly. As a rule, men with the skin vector, completely opposite in their properties, fall in love with and marry anal women. And most importantly, their sexual libido is lower than that of their wives. The skinny man has the lowest libido of all others, and strives to compensate for it good earnings. So it turns out that often a skinny man works and earns decent money, but does not satisfy his wife in bed. In addition, in modern world the number of divorces is growing and an anal woman may even be left without a husband, and therefore without intimate relationships. If another, for example, a skin woman can easily enter into close relationships with new acquaintances in a very short time, but for an anal woman such behavior is stressful. It is difficult for her to build new relationships, especially if behind her there is a serious resentment towards the previous chosen one.

In any case, over time, an anal woman begins to accumulate sexual frustrations that are indecent to talk about. Yes, she herself is often not particularly aware of her shortcomings.

What happens to a person when his internal deficiencies grow? U different people in different ways, everyone copes with stress depending on their vector set. Sound artists become depressed, spectators become depressed, leather workers plunge headlong into work and earning money. In the anal shortage vector for a long time accumulate in the form of frustrations, which sooner or later break through into sadism and violence. This happens more often in anal men, less often in women.

An anal husband takes out his cruelty on his wife - beats her, strangles her, humiliates her. It would seem that if the situation is reversed, the heroes should simply switch roles. In the West this is true. There, a man and a woman have equal rights; in a similar situation, the anal wife engages in assault - she hits her husband. With us, against the backdrop of the urethral mentality, the situation becomes more complicated. In our country it is not customary for a woman to beat a man; it is considered abnormal, unacceptable, even strange and crazy. That's why our wives rarely beat their husbands. Where do they put their frustrations? Unfortunately, on your own children. So the mother begins to beat the child, first slowly, then hard, maybe in public, right on the street, but always cruelly.

It sometimes happens that similar dissatisfaction in a woman with an anal vector is not due to sexual shortcomings, but due to social ones. But this is rather an exception. But even in this case, it’s the children who get the nuts. And this is always a tragedy, since beating from a mother is the worst thing that can happen to a child. At such a moment, he loses his sense of security and stops developing. And depending on the strength and frequency of the beating, this has a terrible effect on his entire life.

Reasons for beatings: what is the child’s fault?

Of course, children are restless, and often simply unbearable. There is no child who has nothing to punish for. They run, jump, scream, and don’t want to learn. Or, on the contrary, they are too distant, do not make contact, are closed and silent. Any mother will always have a reason to punish her child for behavior that does not fit into her idea of ​​life.

But in order to beat a child, a mother needs good reasons. First of all, for yourself, to justify your actions. We are all designed this way: we need to have in our own eyes clear conscience. And a mother who is in her own frustrations always finds such reasons.

Very often, the reason for physical punishment of a child is child theft, which manifests itself in children with a skin vector. For a person with an anal vector, such a crime is like death - it is disgrace and shame. And stealing a child is an action that justifies any punishment, including severe beatings.

A skin child, whom his mother hit once for stealing, will never stop his actions, but on the contrary, he will continue to do so. Losing a sense of security from such actions of his mother, he tries to act himself through his archetype. Moreover, if at first it looked like a simple game, stealing small things, then over time it takes on a serious turn: mobile phone from a classmate, money from the same mother’s wallet. Something for which it is not the mother who can punish, but the state. Along with the increasing theft, he develops masochism, a desire for pain, which in the future will lead to sad life scenarios: a daughter risks growing up into a prostitute, a boy into a real criminal thief or just a loser who will never succeed in life.

Anal mother beats her child not only for theft. There are always reasons, but they will all lie in characteristics and things that are negative for the anal vector (as the anal mother interprets them): for disobedience, for stubbornness, for restlessness, etc.

Mom hits a child: sad consequences

By punishing a child by beating him, a mother always achieves the opposite effect. Simply put, the more a mother brutally beats a child, the worse and worse he becomes. On the other hand, she has more and more reasons to drive away her frustrations. But that doesn't solve it main problem, sexual or social frustrations, which means they will only increase.

Psychologist's answer:

Hello, Mikhail!

As far as I understand, during the divorce you did not insist that the child stay with you. If the whole point is only about who has the right to live with the child after a divorce, then the results that were accepted in the first case, as far as I know, can be revised over time. Therefore, first, make sure that lawyers have such an opportunity and, if you continue to think that the child will be better off with you, insist on reviewing the right of custody of your child.
But it still seems to me that this is not the only issue here!
Divorce of parents is a severe mental trauma for children. Usually, in such situations, his preferences or desires are not particularly taken into consideration by either the parents or the authorities that decide the future of the family.
Children experience such trauma in different ways. Someone begins to “benefit” from this situation by manipulating both parents to obtain additional benefits, which they agree to, feeling guilty in front of their children. Someone closes down, withdraws into himself, becomes a “difficult” child, thus expressing his protest against the actions of adults and people dear to him. Someone begins to look for “who is better with,” moving from father to mother and “demonstrating” to the other side the “benefits” or “horrors” of being in the “enemy camp.”
Of course, when one of the parties creates new family and other children appear there, diverting the parent’s attention to new offspring, the situation only gets worse. After all, it’s like that insufficient attention two significant personalities for the child are reduced by distracting him with new brothers and sisters.
During this period, careful work is needed to explain this situation to the child, for which there is usually not enough time. He feels abandoned, useless to two people close to him. During this period, and your child is at an age when he simply needs explanations for the behavior of adults, you need to talk to him, explain that two people do not always create a family for life, that there are situations when the family did not work out for various reasons ( insufficient love, difficulty in relationships due to differences in characters, and you never know what other words are used in this case by adults to justify their mistakes). It is important that the child understands that despite the mistake in your relationship with your ex-wife, your child is not a mistake! That you will love him and support, understand and help him in any situation, you and yours ex-wife. That everyone has difficulties in relationships, that everyone is human. Talk to him “like an adult,” explaining and admitting the possibility of your mistakes, but also demonstrating a desire to correct them, to mitigate the severity of the situation of others from the consequences of such your actions.
It is easy to judge others, it is difficult to admit that you too can be wrong.
And yet, do not try to act immediately, first understand the situation and the reasons for the child’s unwillingness to return to his mother. Women are emotionally weaker than men, especially during the postpartum period. Try talking to your ex-wife about her behavior with the child, and jointly pay attention to his needs and emotional difficulties. Even if in your ex-family would have been born new baby, there might be problems with the eldest, and then there is another “father” who, it seems, is also not particularly trying to find common language with yours. Either way, try starting with a conversation. And try to keep it constructive, without mutual reproaches. Everyone will benefit from this! Because understanding another is the first step towards establishing mutual understanding in the family in general! Try to understand the child, his feelings, his fears, his desires! Moreover, try to do it all together, if possible!
A bad peace is better than a good war! The price for this is the child’s healthy psyche, peace and tranquility in relationships, normal human relations between everyone involved in this problem.

Let your love unite with the desire to understand your child! Sometimes this is the most necessary thing in relation to parents and children!

Thanks everyone. Sorry for not answering questions via messages, I just got out for a minute. Short. It just so happens that our family continues to communicate with our brother’s ex-wife. She started calling her brother while she was pregnant, asking for money, asking her to pay her rent. My brother, despite the fact that he had a different family, helped her as much as possible, and my mother arranged for her to live with her friend in the maternity hospital. We have good family, I will say without exaggeration. She asked my mother and me sometimes to sit with infant Lisa, saying that she had no one else to ask. Before I found out that she was beating one-year-old Lisa and mocking her like that, I didn’t have any negative feelings towards her. We weren't close, but we didn't fight either. She had her own life, I had mine, I was waiting for Andrei, then Lena right away. Lisa, as I already wrote, visited us and my mother. Mom loves children very much; she worked as a teacher in a children's sanatorium for 25 years. Then, when Andryusha was born, my brother’s ex-wife (Sveta) sometimes went for a walk with us, we live not far from each other. So it turned out that we communicate insofar as we communicate. We give gifts to Lisa and congratulate her on the holidays and her birthday. But what I witnessed turned me against her immediately and unequivocally. I may be categorical, but I am sure and no one will convince me that under no circumstances, under any fatigue, depression, bad mood, lack of money, poor health, you can’t beat, don’t feed the child. To claim the opposite, justifying it by the fact that her personal life did not work out... I will never understand this. It is possible for an example. I have a mother and a husband, but I’ve been sleeping 4 hours a day for a month now and I don’t know how long this will last. Andrei began to walk along the wall and falls all the time, you can’t take your eyes off him, Lena is always hanging in my sling or sleeping. I'm very, very tired. But it would never occur to me to hit Andrey for doing something wrong. Another example. I have a friend who is raising two children, 4 and 2 years old, alone, her husband left her, exchanged their apartment for two rooms in a communal apartment, she and her two children live in a 14-meter room, works at night, takes orders for the production of websites. I never saw her sad or irritated. And Sveta lives with Lisa in a nice Stalin-era one-room apartment. I understand that people are different, but it is impossible to justify Sveta’s behavior by saying that she is alone. She really makes good money or someone pays her for something, but in any case, she regularly buys herself not the cheapest things. She doesn’t eat oatmeal, her boyfriends always bring a lot of food, she told me herself.
Regarding guardianship, why did I even start a topic about this? My mother is very serious about raising Lisa. I have already said, we have a good family and I have a very kind and sincere mother. For now, she wants to convince Sveta to give her Liza for six months to the sanatorium where her mother works, although there are children only from the age of 3, but her mother will try to negotiate. We all understand that the girl needs help. I’m not sure that Sveta wants a different life, she’s happy with the life she’s currently happy with. And Lisa is disturbing her, it’s obvious, this is not a Newton binomial. Those who reproached us and me that we only talk and do nothing were seriously mistaken. We're doing what we can, but we can't take Lisa away without reason. Our family loves children, we are believers and really want to help the girl. It is my deep conviction that things will only get worse between Sveta and Lisa. That's all I wanted to say. Sorry, I won’t be able to come in tomorrow, we’re going to see my mother at the sanatorium until Monday.