Why don't I love my son? "how I learned to love my son"

“Moral freak. Underwoman and not home. A creature that cripples the psyche and life of its child. A sick woman who needs treatment", - all this and something even worse was in the comments in the FB discussion on a very controversial topic. IN once again“Between us girls,” the conversation turned to the fact that after 35 you have to give birth at any cost. The clock is ticking, time is passing, and what will people say, and then suddenly you can’t - well, you yourself know all this about the last glass of water. The most surprising thing is that this was also offered to girls who had neither a husband, nor a permanent partner, nor, in fact, the desire to give birth to a child. Doesn't matter. You need to have time to give birth to a child and fulfill this mandatory point of the program. And then the #happiness of motherhood will flood in and wake up unconditional love to a child and you will wonder how you used to live without this?

What if it doesn’t come? Won't wake up? And every day and every minute you will wonder how you could screw up so much and miss old life and want to go back? - I asked. The answers were harsh. What kind of woman and mother is this who can? And so on and so forth, which you can enjoy in the first line of this article.

Moreover, it was not about betrayal, not about leaving a child in the maternity hospital, not about ill-treatment with children. And about the fact that a mother may not immediately feel love and tenderness for her child. Take care of him, feed him, dress him, treat him, read him bedtime stories and kiss him on the top of his head, but... don’t love him.

This is a very shameful topic in our society. Very closed and taboo. In psychology there is even such a concept as “toxic shame” - shame that is insurmountable and impossible to admit. And which can simply destroy a person. Therefore, if this happens to mothers, they remain silent. They are silent - because it’s embarrassing and scary to admit it even to yourself, let alone say it out loud. And because they will immediately be judged, shamed, sent for treatment and branded a “moral monster.”

Social media pages are just beautiful facades

Modern motherhood has become much easier in everyday life. We have diapers, slings, comfortable strollers, a huge selection baby food, washing machines and dishwashers. Physically raising children has become easier. But psychologically and emotionally - . The world of social networks and ideal Instagram pictures dictate their own rules. Psychologist, Gestalt therapist Elena Petrikina calls it - .

“The world of social networks and forums is a separate big topic. This is a reflection of our society - competitive and narcissistic. We are very good at measuring facades. Bad things are rarely written about. About everyday things - even less often. Additionally, in the last 50 years, motherhood and society in general have become very child-centric. The child became the priority. And the media is very supportive of this. It creates a certain flair of motherhood, like some kind of magic that immediately awakens in a woman an unearthly love for her child. But in fact this is quite rare. And the maternal instinct turns on very gradually, not as they say in books. Women often immediately after childbirth feel: fear, horror, panic, irritation. Do you see there is no love here? And society pushes the mother to the fact that there must be love for the child. Moreover, it should appear literally in an instant, immediately after birth! And if this didn’t happen to you, you’re somehow different.”

In fact, there are many mothers who do not immediately feel love for their children. Much more than we can imagine. They are just silent about it. There are happy mothers who quickly rise hormonal background, turns on. And love for a child comes, as they say in books - right away! But not everyone is so lucky.

What to do?

Step 1 - “You are not alone!” First, of course, understand that you are definitely not the only one. Understand and accept that it is completely normal not to immediately feel love for your child. This is not a mental disorder, not a vice, not a terrible sin.

Elena Petrikina:“It’s normal not to love your child right away. It is normal when a baby causes fear and anxiety rather than this mythical absolute love. Love for small children is very discrete. Now I am full of love. After a while I feel nothing but irritation and even hatred. Then it came again. Such swings are also normal. And there is no need to be afraid of this."

Step 2 - “Share!”- share your feelings. Admit that you need support and help. Our speaker Elena Petrikina emphasizes that sharing this feeling with someone is very important. It’s one thing to understand with your head that your feelings are normal. And it’s a completely different matter to talk to mothers who are also going through this. It's good if a woman feels that she can share this with her husband. But we must understand that not every husband will be able to understand and support a woman with such a problem. You can go to some kind of women's group - a psychological group, a closed group on a forum or on a social network (if this group promises you support and anonymity), where there are women with the same feelings and problems. If possible, contact a psychologist. If not, just write it all out on paper. It's better than nothing and will help relieve stress. Here it is important to write everything you feel - just in a flow. There is no need to choose “more decent” phrases or edit your entries. Write in the morning, in silence, while everyone is still sleeping, everything that is on your soul.

Step 3 - " Less Internet» . Limit your Internet access during this period. Don’t go on social networks, don’t sit on parenting forums, don’t scroll through Instagram. Consciously reduce the amount of competing information. Remember about “measuring by facades”? And no one knows what is really going on behind these facades.

Step 4 - “Give yourself time.” Give time to come to your senses, rebuild your life, which has changed about 180 degrees. Meet a new person who has come into your life forever. Get used to it, adapt, learn to understand it. And love him. Over time.

If a year, two, three, has passed after giving birth, and the mother still does not feel anything towards her child, this is certainly a reason to seek help. This is extremely rare, but it does happen. Most often, the reason here may be some kind of trauma received by the mother in childhood, or the characteristics of the environment in childhood. In any case, it is better if an intelligent psychologist helps you figure this out.

The formation of attachment to a child immediately after birth is helped by sleeping together, skin-to-skin contact, wearing in a sling, carrying in arms, feeding the baby on your lap and not in a high chair, taking a bath together, and breastfeeding. Psychologists assure that every parent can become loving. Love comes to someone right away, as they write on forums - “they put a warm lump on my chest, and I felt that I loved him more than anyone in the world!” And some will have to go through a difficult path before that.

One of the most powerful books I've read is about just this. Lionel Shriver wrote the book “The Price of Not Love” (the book was adapted into the film “There’s Something Wrong with Kevin” with the alien Tilda Swinton as the mother) - about a mother who just can’t love her son, although she tries so hard! About what it’s like to perform all motherly duties to perfection and... not to love. And what price the mother will have to pay in the end for this.

Photo - photobank Lori

YOU'RE MAD WITH FAT
Alina hears this phrase from her mother and father, father-in-law and mother-in-law, who are always busy

YOU'RE MAD WITH FAT
Alina hears this phrase from mom and dad, father-in-law and mother-in-law, forever busy husband and even her friends, to whom she tells about the difficult life of a mother of two children. And indeed, outwardly everything is fine in her family: a wonderful husband, a home - full bowl and, most importantly, two normal, healthy children - one-year-old Senya and seven-year-old Seryozha. No one can understand the torment of Alina, who considers herself a bad mother.
“We were all expecting our second child,” says 35-year-old Alina. - They especially prepared for the arrival of baby Seryozha - they told him how great it was that he would have a brother with whom he could play, share his secrets, and would be the closest person to him. It seems that we have prepared our son correctly - he is not jealous of the younger one. But something happened to me after Senya was born. I suddenly realized that I didn’t love by and large I never loved Seryozha. He annoys me, although he studies well and behaves well. His chatter tires me, his smell is unpleasant. I am happy when my eldest son visits his grandmother, and I feel bad when he returns home. Senya is my only, desired and beloved child. I'm proud of his pranks, even his scribbles on the new wallpaper touch me! She would have sat like that all her life, buried in his warm belly.
Alina's husband believes that coldness on the part of his wife towards his eldest son is even useful. After all, Sergei is a future man, and they don’t babysit with men. The fact that the son with great pleasure goes to his grandmother after school, and not home, is also explained simply: there, his every desire is fulfilled. They even spoon feed you! Seryozha recently announced that he will never marry or have children, because he needs to tinker with them a lot, he needs to love them, but he doesn’t want that.
HE GOT EVERYONE
Sasha and Natalya also have a normal family, by society’s standards, and their only child is 10-year-old Dima. He annoyed everyone, wants nothing and is not interested in anything. A slob and a rude man, he doesn’t feel sorry for anyone and doesn’t love anyone but himself. The list of complaints against Dima is endless.
“Before Dima was born, Sasha and I lived for three years,” says Natalya. “My husband and I have a tender relationship, we love each other and we perceived the birth of a child as a natural extension of ourselves. But from the first day Dima showed character - even when he was very little, he did not like being picked up, kissed, or stroked. I went to work when he was one year old. And this child in six months drove three nannies crazy - they refused to sit with him because he didn’t listen to anyone, did everything out of spite, even to the point of pooping in his pants on purpose, although he already knew how to ask to go to the potty perfectly. Now, when we come home from work, tired and hungry, he deliberately jumps, throws things, yells, and it’s impossible to shut him up. We asked: “What worries you, son?” The response is either contemptuous silence or a cry of “leave me alone!” He is only interested in watching TV and playing on the computer. You won’t be asked to read or do something around the house. Sometimes I think he hates us. My husband and I also began to hate him - it’s impossible to love someone who doesn’t care about you. We've reached the point where we feel sorry for the money spent on Dima - he still doesn't appreciate anything new clothes, no toys, no books. He does poorly at school - a regular one, without any deviations. And his father and I were excellent students both at school and at college. He refused to study with the tutor we hired for him (and it’s not cheap; we could have bought something for ourselves with that money). Or rather, this teacher abandoned him. We can't wait for Dima to turn 18 and leave our house forever. I have no doubt that in his old age he will not give us a glass of water.
POINT OF VIEW
Oleg V., 40 years old:
- I always knew that my mother loved me more younger brother than me. Maybe because he was born weaker, he was often sick. Or maybe because he was more dependent on her, her point of view. But now I’m even grateful to my mother for not loving me. Since childhood, I knew that I would have to achieve everything in life myself, and I would either swim in life or drown. I swam out - I have good job, family, wonderful daughter. I don't communicate with my brother. I don’t come to see my mother either; I rarely talk, only on the phone. Although she recently said that she was counting on my help and support, because she had no hope for her brother; he would have to stand on his own feet (and he is 37 years old!). I won’t lie, I was pleased to hear this.
Tatyana M., mother of 9-year-old Nastya:
- I had a moment in my life when I thought that I didn’t love my daughter. I was infuriated by her sloppiness, indifference, arrogance and lack of independence. I don’t know what we would have come to, but suddenly I realized that no one in the whole world would love her for who she is, would not love her shortcomings. Nobody... Except me. And no one except me will appreciate her main advantage - that she is my daughter. And no one loves me, with all my shortcomings, just because I am a mother. Nobody except Nastya. This became a turning point in our relationship. Now we are learning to accept each other as we are and mutually adjust our behavior.
EXPERT'S COMMENT
Katerina DEMINA, consulting psychologist, Psychologist and Me center:
- For any strong feelings Whether it is love or dislike, there is a story that usually comes from childhood. Adults most often do not love their children when their parents did not love them themselves. This is intergenerational transmission - their inner child does not know parental love, therefore, they have nothing to broadcast to their children. It happens that they do not like children born from an unloved man. Dislike may also be associated with the mother’s depression - she simply has nothing to give to her children, she is devastated.
Adults who think they don't love their children tend to feel intense guilt. And in order to somehow justify him, they begin to look for shortcomings in the child - from external data to lack of talent. However, it is no secret that we do not love and do not accept in other people what we do not love and do not accept in ourselves. And parents who don't love their children don't accept part of themselves.
By the way, parents may think that they do not love their child, and their children may think differently. And vice versa - parents believe that they adore their children, but children feel that they are not loved. Because for a child, dislike is when they don’t notice him, don’t pay attention to him. If a child realizes that he was not loved in childhood, then as an adult he will strive throughout his life to achieve socially significant success in order to be noticed, appreciated and loved. Or antisocial behavior is possible - again in order to be noticed. The third option is chronic depression, withdrawal from illness, manipulation of it.
I don’t think that in the first case the parents do not love their eldest son. They just treat their children differently. It’s like in marriage - the first months are passion, tenderness, after several years of life, feelings move to a new stage and many, especially infantile, immature individuals, think that love is gone. It’s the same here - after the birth of her second child, the mother is under the influence of a “hormonal storm”, which makes her love her so much, literally to the point of trembling. youngest child. Her love for her eldest son is calmer, deeper. But that doesn't mean it doesn't exist!
As for the second situation, it is more complex and cannot be assessed in absentia. The only thing I can say is that even the most beloved child can at times cause the most loving parents to feel irritated. The world-famous English child psychiatrist and psychologist Donald Woods Winnicott gives “18 reasons why mothers want to kill their children.” I highly recommend this read to anyone who is annoyed by their own children.

I don’t know where to start, I’ll start with the fact that I love my son very much and lived for him all the time, even though I raised him alone, he didn’t need anything, we didn’t live well, but I did everything for him, and now it turns out I he doesn’t need it, he’s rude, he calls me names, he humiliates me. He takes things from the house to the pawnshop, but I can’t even say a word, he’s right, he needs it that way, and I don’t understand him and I’m bad, money disappears, even though he knows that we live on credit, he’s 17 years, now there is a trial going on, he and his friends stole mopeds, a lot of other little things, every day new problems pile up and pile up, I’m not made of iron, I go to bed asking for death and wake up with the same thought, I can’t kill myself instinct of self-preservation, I I’m going crazy, I don’t want to spend the rest of my life in a mental hospital, I can’t tell anyone, I’m ashamed that I’m such a mother, in general my son doesn’t need me and there’s no reason for me to live, please help me die, don’t talk about the meaning of life and all sorts of other nonsense, help me die Tell me, thanks in advance.
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dead, age: 38 / 03/17/2015

Responses:

A familiar story! And a typical story, this happens in many families. The reasons are that sons grow up and rapidly move away from their mothers, in what way is individual, but the process is the same... it’s not the same with girls, but boys, especially boys from complete families want to distance themselves as far as possible from feminine and finally become men and hence the rudeness and ensuing.... But after a while they mentally return to their mothers, for sure! Already in a different capacity and in a different format of mother-son relationship. Crime, of course, is bad, but again, not forever! What to do - be patient and follow your line of behavior - love, love.... On a subconscious level, this is deposited in prodigal sons, and someday everything that mom said and how she behaved during his difficult teenage period will emerge and become manifest. And don’t believe that your son doesn’t need you! He still misunderstands himself. Try to separate, separate different sides material, criminal problems and the problem of your relationship with your son. Do not mix them up. React to material problems and crime as detached as possible, well, the son will answer for his actions himself... but for the rest, you and he are still mother and son , still one family! Believe me, I know many such stories - and often, after all the misunderstandings and misadventures, sons are grateful to their mothers for their love and faith during this difficult period.

Madam, age: 53 / 03/17/2015

Hello!
Start praying for your son, he is in trouble. Who besides you will pray for him? Who needs it besides you??? And a mother’s prayer can reach you from the bottom of the sea!!! Since words and convictions do not find a response, surrender your son completely into the hands of God, so that He himself can direct him to true path and did not let him die.

Masha, age: 25 / 03/17/2015

Elena Ordinary, age: 39 / 03/17/2015

Hello!
I don’t know what to call you because you didn’t indicate your name. And call a living man dead Somehow my tongue won't turn.
I won’t talk about the meaning of life, but I will say that I understand you perfectly. It’s very painful when someone you love immensely, who is the meaning of life and perhaps life itself, neglects you, is rude, abandons you, ignores you. And it doesn’t matter who it is, son, beloved, friend. It hurts no less.
But wishing oneself death is not a solution, and will never be a solution. Your son doesn’t understand much right now.
For example, at his age I also did not behave very decently. I won’t list everything, but I didn’t value my parents at all, I was also rude, I didn’t think about how hard it was for them to get money, I thought only about myself, I literally demanded more and more more money, better life, and I didn’t care what was on them. But time has passed... Now I am 27 years old. And I understood a lot. I realized how unfair I was to them; a long time ago I completely changed my attitude and behavior towards them. I love them very much. I do not justify your son’s behavior and I don’t know if he will change. I don’t know how your situation will develop, but wishing yourself dead is not an option. I really hope that you will find the strength and faith to withstand even such great difficulties.
Sincerely

Emilia, age: 27 / 03/17/2015

Hello! There is nothing to be ashamed of, I am sure you were and remain a good mother. Why do children grow up like this?! The reasons are often unknown. Perhaps the father's genes and heredity played a role... As it happens, a guy comes out of an orphanage, alone, no one needs, but seasoned, kind, confident that there is happiness in life. And the other one has a wonderful complete family, everyone is healthy, rich, and he grows up to be a drug addict and a murderer. You can't guess here! I can only advise you to pray for your son, so that he takes the right path, patience, strength, health, so that you do not break under the weight of difficulties, hope and faith in the best! Hold on!

Irina, age: 27 / 03/17/2015

First, understand yourself.
You say that you love your son.
Love as much as you want
leave him alone?
Who else does he have?
Friends? Do you think they really need him?
Further. Your prices are very high
requirements for yourself.
Definition " bad mother"To come to you
it is forbidden.
Just understand that the child has
single-parent family is mandatory
a problematic period is approaching.
To a greater or lesser degree.
Deal with this one mother
not possible in principle.
Have you come up with something that is too much for you?
I wear.
Do you love your son? So love him anyway.
Love a thief. Love even if he
behaves disgustingly.
Don't encourage it. Punish
deprive of material goods.
Store money on the card.
Maybe now his life is
will punish.
The trial is going on, and it's good. Let life
will educate. Serious punishment
is unlikely to follow, so son
learn to take responsibility for your actions.
Thirdly, your son is rude to you.
Many mothers complain:
I am for him and this and that, everything for
I do it. What else is he not happy with?
But he is not happy with the excess of attention.
After all, even for an adult it is difficult to constantly
be in attention.
What can we say about the emerging
child's personality.
Now there are only a few complete families.
We have to go through a lot
similar.
Don't put pressure on your son. Adult
- Please. Only then be
It’s good to be responsible for your actions.
Give him time to grow up.
He will understand a lot.
Do you really think that he
not needed?
Distance yourself, don’t shoulder everything
on yourself.
Contact a good psychotherapist.
You'll be amazed how easy it is
you can find a decent way out
the current situation.
Good luck to you!

Age: - / 03/17/2015

Tanya, age: 26 / 03/18/2015

Dear stranger! Life will put a lot of things into place after time. I judge from my own family, when there was opposition to parents in everything, complete rejection of what they said about how to live, and problems with alcohol and bad company, leaving home, etc. The parents went through all this. The brothers grew up, became smarter, and gradually (after 15 years) they realized how much their parents had done for them in this life. At 17 years old you simply don’t understand this. Now they are over 35, have their own families and I am happy looking at them. You good mother, but you cannot be responsible for other people's thoughts and actions. I wish you to find the strength to live and overcome any difficulties.

Elizaveta, age: 29 / 03/18/2015

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When I was sixteen I met Mikoto, she was very interesting girl. And very strong both in communication and on a spiritual level, I felt good and calm with her. And after talking for two years, we decided to get married, she was only love and the person who always supported me. Soon she became pregnant and gave birth to my son, we named him Sasuke, that was the name of her brother, who died. Everything was fine, we started raising our son together, he grew up in my arms, he took after his mother. The hair was black, and at the back it looked more like a duck's butt, it always curled and did not obey. As a result, his hair stuck out, but this only gave him charm, I don’t know why it turned out that way. I have a slightly strange relationship with my child, not like many, or rather very close, because I love him not as a son, but as a person. I think that's where I'll start this story. *** An eight-year-old boy was running down the corridor, wearing white shorts and a black T-shirt with white sleeves. And with headphones hanging around his neck, the child ran and looked into every room, but the one he wanted to see was nowhere to be found. Behind him walked his mother Mikoto and just admired how her son was very energetic. - Darling, don’t run fast, otherwise you’ll fall. The brunette seemed not to hear her, and, running into another room, he beamed with a happy smile. And he ran inside, shouting “Dad, I’m home!” Mikoto caught up with her son and, entering the room, saw Sasuke hanging on her husband and kissing him on the lips. - That's enough Sasuke, I understand you're happy. – Naruto began to try to push his too assertive son away from him, and sat him down next to him. - Don't interfere with my work. - Fine. “But the boy did not give up trying to cuddle up to his father. He began to hug him, then his small hands slipped under his T-shirt and he began to stroke his father's chest. The blonde ignored his loving son as he was focused on the computer and the work he was given. - My dears, I’ll pour you some iced tea now. – Mikoto answered, she was used to this, that’s why she wasn’t angry. - Be kind and add some citrus pulp. - And I’ll have some raspberries. - Fine. – And Uzumaki left her husband’s room. *** - Dad, how long have you been? Sasuke looked at the man with puppy dog ​​eyes as he stared at the computer. The child himself sat on his knees, he hugged his back with his legs, and thus his butt sat on manhood. The child understood this, so he fidgeted on him as best he could. - Sasuke, don't be capricious, your dad has something to do. - Nooo. – The brunette stood up and began to hug him by the neck and hang on him. - Play with me! - We seemed to agree that you would obey me. “He looked reproachfully at the child. - I obey. – Sasuke held his father’s shoulders with his hands and began to hang on him. – And you promised to tell me! - Let me kiss you, then I’ll finish work, and I’ll take you to the roof of the house and tell you whatever you want, okay? - Yes. – The boy answered with a radiant smile. The man smiled, bent down and kissed his son’s childish lips, as he wanted an adult kiss. At that moment, Mikoto came into the room, she brought tea, she went inside, put the tray on the table and left. *** The day was already drawing to a close, and father and son were sitting on the roof of their house, or rather, one could even say, little boy sat on the stomach of his father, who was lying on the roof. - Pa, tell me about our world, what is it like? “The wind outside was weak, so it didn’t disturb them much, little by little lifting their hair up and circling nearby. - Well, our world is big, it’s impossible to describe everything, there’s a lot different countries, ocean, animals, people, plants, but know the most important thing, son. - So what? – The child stared at his father with bewitching eyes. - Don’t try to know the world from the inside, it’s rotten there through and through. Don't try to see anything in people, it's no use. Don't be afraid to give up and fall to the bottom. Remember one thing Sasuke, if a flower is beautiful, it does not mean that it is not poisonous, look deep into the depths and you will see a small bud that has not yet bloomed, but has not withered either. - Why do people fight? - Because they are stupid, they are looking for a reason for enmity that never existed, and they are amused by how many people they have killed. - Why do people live in poverty? - Because son, our society is such that he will pass by an old man who holds out his hand. And it doesn’t matter that it’s cold, and that he doesn’t have legs and arms, people won’t look at it and will just pass by. Our world is ruled by greed and greed. -Are there any kind people in our society? - There are, of course, but very few, I myself would personally shake the hand of that person who would not pass by if: a girl was hit before his eyes, he would take it, call an ambulance and, most importantly, try to help her; or if you helped an old blind man cross the streets, he would simply say thank you, but you’re glad you did it; when a person saw that a child was being raped, he would not pass by, but would run to pull him out of the clutches of the rapist; If only he hadn’t been afraid and would have pulled the kitten out of the fire, because he is also a living creature. - Dad, why do people who love each other end up breaking up? - Because they are stupid when they are in love, they don’t find visible problems and they just run into this gap. - Why do you cry when someone dear to you dies? - Because if a person was really dear to you, you will not ask your body to let its tears flow. They will go on their own, and if he didn’t care about you, he won’t shed a tear. - Tell me something else? -Remember Sasuke that sometimes when people talk, they are not always being honest with themselves. And they may lie to you or tell you one thing, but he decided everything completely differently for himself. Sometimes they find it easier for you to hate them than to love them. - Why? - They are simply afraid to love someone! After all, if you fall in love, you will lose yourself, and this may not always end well for him. - Why do many people abandon their children or kill them? - These are no longer people, their fate will already be sealed if they kill their child, because this is a great sin. Children are our future, our blood, our life continues in them and a new beginning begins in them. And if a person sees neither the light nor the meaning, then he will easily kill the child. So they sat on the roof for a very long time. *** Naruto loved both his wife and son, they were the meaning of his life, every day was filled with happiness. And you don’t even notice how the child grows, how you and Mikoto raise him: you eat together, play, swear, cry, wash, walk, have fun, love. And it is at such moments that you realize that God has given you the happiness of enjoying it to the fullest. After all, one day Naruto did not return home, Sasuke that day waited for him until late at night, did not eat anything and did not sleep. Mikoto was with him and comforted him when he cried, and the next day the woman was informed. That an accident occurred when her husband was pulling the children out of the cars, he himself got stuck and could not get out, and passed the crying children through the glass to a passerby. They could not get him out, the car caught fire, and he burned alive, the accident was large-scale, forty people died that day. During the funeral, the little boy could not hold back his tears and cried, but deep inside he kept all the words his father said to him. *** A young guy approaches his father's gravestone and places violets, Naruto's favorite flowers. - Hello father! Today I came to you again, you know, I’m doing well, so don’t worry about me. It’s still difficult for me to decide on my life and who exactly I want to be with. But I never forgot how much I loved you, even when I was a child, I saw a man in you. Your words will remain in my heart for a long time, so I hope you are watching me from heaven and are proud. The eighteen-year-old teenager began to leave the cemetery, and finally looked at the inscription that was made on his father's tombstone. “Beloved husband, beloved son and beloved life. She didn't turn away from him until the very end." End.

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Rebellious spirit. 419 2

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Sasuke is a ghost, and Naruto is a living person. One fine day, a ghost spoke to Naruto, to which the blond reacted violently, that is, he screamed, threw various things at him, tried to hit him, but ghosts are not materialized things! This is how the wild life of Uzumaki Naruto began.

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The hard way to love 23

Fandom: Naruto Pairing and characters: Sasuke/Gaara, Itachi/Deidara, Naruto/Hinana, Naruto Uzumaki, Hinata Hyuga, Gaara, Temari, Kankuro, Sasuke Uchiha, Itachi Uchiha, Deidara Rating: NC-17- fan fiction in which erotic scenes, violence or some other difficult moments can be described in detail."> NC-17 Genres: Romance- a fic about tender and romantic relationships. As a rule, has a happy ending."> Romance, Angst- strong feelings, physical, but more often spiritual suffering of the character; fan fiction contains depressive motives and some dramatic events."> Angst, Humor- humorous fanfic."> Humor, Warnings: Death of the main character- fan fiction in which one or more main characters die."> Death of a main character, Obscene language- the presence of obscene language (swearing) in the fanfic."> Obscene language Size: planned Mini- a little fanfic. Size from one typewritten page to 20."> Mini, written 2 pages, 1 part Status: in progress

A little angst at first. And then there will be romance))

Wonderful neighbors 14

Fandom: Naruto, Boruto: Naruto Next Generations (crossover) Pairing and characters: Boruto/Sarada/Mitsuki, Boruto/Mitsuki - main; Konohamaru/Hanabi, Chocho. , Konohamaru Sarutobi , Sarada Uchiha , Boruto Uzumaki , Chocho Akimichi , Mitsuki Rating: R- fan fiction that contains erotic scenes or violence without detailed graphic description."> R Genres: Humor- humorous fanfic."> Humor, Everyday life- description of ordinary everyday life or everyday situations."> Everyday life, Educational institutions- a significant part of the fanfic takes place in school or around school or student everyday life."> Educational institutions Warnings: OOC- Out Of Character, “Out of character” is a situation where a character in a fic behaves completely differently than one would expect based on his description in the canon."> OOC, Obscene language- the presence of obscene language (swearing) in the fanfic."> Obscene language, Geta elements- romantic and/or sexual relationships between a man and a woman."> Elements of geta, Slash elements- romantic and/or sexual relationships between men."> Slash elements Size: planned Maxi- big fanfic. The size is often larger than the average novel. From approximately 70 typewritten pages."> Maxi, written 5 pages, 1 part Status: in progress

Sarada Uchiha is an aspiring writer who has trouble getting along with people. That is why, when entering a university located far from home, instead of living in a dormitory, she decides to rent a room together with her childhood friend. Sarada's friend finds a great option, but hides the fact that she will have to live with four other people. But this does not suit the closed Uchiha at all. Moreover, three guys turn out to be neighbors, two of whom are clearly in too close a relationship.

, Mysticism- stories about paranormal phenomena, spirits or ghosts. "> Mysticism, Hurt/comfort- one character suffers in one way or another, and the other comes to his or her aid."> Hurt/comfort , Mythical creatures- the text mentions vampires, elves, werewolves, demons or other mythical creatures."> Mythical creatures, Popadants- The main character, in one way or another, ends up in another world or moves into the body of a character from another world."> Popadantsy, Friendship- Description of close, non-sexual, non-romantic relationships between characters."> Friendship Warnings: WMD- An original male character appearing in the canon world (most often as one of the main characters)."> WMD, Geta elements- romantic and/or sexual relationships between a man and a woman."> Elements of geta, Slash elements- romantic and/or sexual relationships between men."> Slash elements, Femslash elements- romantic and/or sexual relationships between women."> Femslash elements Size: planned Maxi- big fanfic. The size is often larger than the average novel. From approximately 70 typewritten pages."> Maxi, written 305 pages, 60 parts Status: in progress

Bound by blood and the burden of your ancestors, you find yourself in another world that is alien to you. You will grow and grow until you are strong, but for now you are just a nuisance under the feet of the strong. And there is no way home. All that remains is to find the strength within yourself, get up and move forward.

I have been raising my son alone since the 3rd grade. He passed Suvorov School. Now I graduated from university. He received an engineering degree. He is 22 years old. Everything seems to be fine. But he is very aggressive, angry, resourceful. He treats me very badly: he’s rude, he might swear at me, or throw a potato at me. Now he rents an apartment on his own and lives with a girl, but he treats her badly too: he gets angry and can hit her hard. I'm afraid that this might end badly. I try not to get involved in their affairs, but I am very worried. All he needed was freedom. He is a terrible egoist. I bought a car and registered it in my name. I needed it to go to the village to help my old mother, to take my daughter to the bus stop, and she allowed him to use it. I also have a license, but he drove. Well, let him drive in a good way. But he drives recklessly on the roads, gets angry, and is not attentive. I can’t say anything, he knows everything himself. I managed to crash the car, thank God I survived. He restored it and I helped again, lent him money (as long as he didn’t go stealing). So he stole the documents for it from me and now he has appropriated it. I can't do anything. Ashamed. But you will have to contact Gai for help. It's a shame, it's a shame. But I have no choice anymore. No one can help me. My relatives have their own lives, they don’t care about mine. Or maybe it will turn out to be irreparable. He can even drive drunk. He also uses weed, and here he is completely out of control. Rides all night. Now he has freedom - do whatever he wants. Only Gai can help me, although he screams, if you take it away, I myself will crash in the car and break it. I know I raised such a moral monster myself. I was severely depressed for 10 years when my husband left me for someone else and left me two children. It's scary to remember what happened to me. So I learned the result. But is there really nothing that can be done? He won’t go to a psychologist; he considers himself right in everything, a boaster. Help me with advice. It's very difficult. And what happens if I contact the traffic police? Thank you. It's scary to make a mistake.

Good evening, Olga.

Historically, when a man left for prey (to slaughter a mammoth), the woman remained to monitor the safety and well-being of children and the elderly, so she developed the properties of coverage and containment in order to keep track of the whole family and help everyone. That's why modern women are faced with the historically established problem of letting their children go on a “big voyage” in a timely manner, because they believe that danger awaits them there ( wild animals). However, life situations teach a person, help him become different, better.

A woman has amazing property- to cultivate what he shows interest in, what he lets into his inner world. Therefore, if a woman is saturated with fears, suffering, pain, discontent, she begins to intensify this and what she is afraid of happens. However, if she sees and supports the light in a person, his talents, abilities, then she shows harmonizing properties in the world, and people are drawn to such people as a source of light and happiness.

In this situation, it is important to bring your emotional state into balance (this cannot be done through writing) and see the best that you have, what inclinations and talents your son has. Contact a psychologist who will help you organize creative work on yourself. And as a consequence of your internal work My son's life will return to normal. If you increase your attention on your son, the consequences can be very tragic. Start putting yourself and your life in order, then life will improve for your loved ones! All the best to you!

Belousov Andrey Sergeevich, psychologist Ulyanovsk

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