What does a godmother need to know about a child's baptism? How to choose the right godparents for a child.

The child's mother and father do not have the right to be with him. It is worth noting that a husband and wife cannot be the adoptive parents of one child. Grandparents, uncles, aunts, brothers and other relatives are allowed to become godfathers or godmothers. It is recommended to take blood relatives as godparents. It is believed that the blood connection becomes stronger, since the adoptive parents are the second parents of the child.

Orthodox Christians

A person who is an Orthodox Christian and regularly receives communion can become a recipient. Atheists and representatives of other religious movements cannot be godparents. At the same time, it is mandatory to know the Creed and read it during the process of baptism. The recipient will also be required to read a daily prayer for the godson, since he is now responsible for the spiritual in the future. Regular attendance at church and education in the Christian faith is an integral part of the responsibilities of a godfather.

Age

People under the age of fourteen cannot become godparents, since they do not have the spiritual experience that would be required to instruct a newborn in the right faith.

Church servants

The restriction applies only to the father or mother of the child, who cannot be godparents to their own child. Also, spouses are not allowed to become spiritual parents of one child (if a couple is just planning to get married, they are also prohibited). Other relatives, including siblings of the child's parents, as well as their parents, may well take on the responsibilities of godparents. Also, you should not choose priests or monks or young children as godparents. Besides, adoptive parents they also cannot become godparents to their stepdaughters and stepsons.

By the way, in relation to godmothers there is a ban on the participation of ladies in the sacrament of Baptism during the period of monthly impurity.

What should godparents give to a child during the sacrament of Baptism?

It is usually stated that godparents must purchase for the rite of Baptism. Naturally, if a person who has been chosen for such an honorable position does not want to make a mistake, it is better to consult with his parents in advance.

Also, godparents often purchase silver ones for their godchildren. Such a gift is especially relevant if the baby is baptized at the age when his first tooth emerges.

The godfather should establish contact with his godson as much as possible. After all, he becomes not only the spiritual mentor of the baptized, but also a kind of understudy biological parents. After all, one of the responsibilities of a godfather is to raise a child in the event that the natural parents die or are unable, due to certain circumstances, to fulfill their parental responsibilities.

Godparents: Who can become a godfather? What do godmothers and godfathers need to know? How many godchildren can you have? The answers are in the article!

Briefly:

The godfather, or godfather, must be Orthodox Christian. A godfather cannot be a Catholic, a Muslim, or a very good atheist, because main responsibility godfather - to help the child grow in the Orthodox faith.
There must be a godfather church man, ready to regularly take his godson to church and monitor his Christian upbringing.
After baptism has been performed, godfather cannot be changed, but if the godfather has changed greatly for the worse, the godson and his family should pray for him.
Pregnant and unmarried women CAN to be godparents of both boys and girls - do not listen to superstitious fears!
Godparents the child's father and mother cannot be, and husband and wife cannot be godparents of the same child. other relatives - grandmothers, aunts and even older brothers and sisters can be godparents.

Many of us were baptized in infancy and no longer remember how it happened. And then one day we are invited to become a godmother or godfather, or perhaps even more joyfully - our own child is born. Then we think once again about what the Sacrament of Baptism is, whether we can become godparents to someone and how we can choose godparents for our child.

Answers from Rev. Maxim Kozlov on questions about the responsibilities of godparents from the “Tatiana’s Day” website.

– I was invited to become godfather. What will I have to do?

– Being a godfather is both an honor and responsibility.

Godmothers and fathers, participating in the Sacrament, take responsibility for the little member of the Church, so they must be Orthodox people. Godparents, of course, should be a person who also has some experience in church life and will help the parents raise the baby in faith, piety and purity.

During the celebration of the Sacrament over the baby, the godfather (of the same gender as the child) will hold him in his arms, pronounce on his behalf the Creed and vows of renunciation of Satan and union with Christ. Read more about the procedure for performing Baptism.

The main thing in which the godfather can and should help and in which he undertakes an obligation is not only to be present at Baptism, but also then to help the one received from the font to grow, strengthen in church life, and in no case limit your Christianity only to the fact of Baptism. According to the teachings of the Church, for the way we took care of fulfilling these duties, we will be held accountable on the day of the last judgment, just as for the upbringing of our own children. Therefore, of course, the responsibility is very, very great.

– What should I give to my godson?

– Of course, you can give your godson a cross and a chain, and it doesn’t matter what they are made of; the main thing is that the cross should be of the traditional form accepted in Orthodox Church.

In the old days, there was a traditional church gift for christening - a silver spoon, which was called a “tooth gift”; it was the first spoon that was used when feeding a child, when he began to eat from a spoon.

– How can I choose godparents for my child?

– Firstly, godparents must be baptized, church-going Orthodox Christians.

The main thing is that the criterion for your choice of godfather or godmother is whether this person will subsequently be able to help you in a good, Christian upbringing received from the font, and not just in practical circumstances. And, of course, an important criterion should be the degree of our acquaintance and simply the friendliness of our relationship. Think about whether the godparents you choose will be the child’s church teachers or not.

– Is it possible for a person to have only one godparent?

- Yes, it's possible. It is only important that the godparent be of the same gender as the godson.

– If one of the godparents cannot be present at the Sacrament of Baptism, is it possible to carry out the ceremony without him, but register him as a godparent?

– Until 1917, there was a practice of absentee godparents, but it was applied only to members of the imperial family, when they, as a sign of royal or grand-ducal favor, agreed to be considered the godparents of a particular baby. If we're talking about about a similar situation, do so, and if not, then it is perhaps better to proceed from generally accepted practice.

– Who can’t be a godfather?

- Of course, non-Christians - atheists, Muslims, Jews, Buddhists, and so on - cannot be godparents, no matter how close friends the child’s parents are and no matter how pleasant people they are to talk to.

An exceptional situation - if there are no close people close to Orthodoxy, and you are confident in the good morals of a non-Orthodox Christian - then the practice of our Church allows one of the godparents to be a representative of another Christian denomination: Catholic or Protestant.

According to the wise tradition of the Russian Orthodox Church, a husband and wife cannot be godparents of the same child. Therefore, it is worth considering if you and the person with whom you want to start a family are invited to become adoptive parents.

– Which relative can be godfather?

– An aunt or uncle, grandmother or grandfather can become the adoptive parents of their little relatives. You just need to remember that a husband and wife cannot be godparents of one child. However, it’s worth thinking about this: our close relatives will still take care of the child and help us raise him. In this case, aren’t we depriving little man love and care, because he could have one or two more adult Orthodox friends to whom he could turn throughout his life. This is especially important during the period when the child seeks authority outside the family. At this time, the godfather, without in any way opposing himself to the parents, could become the person whom the teenager trusts, from whom he asks for advice even about what he does not dare to tell his loved ones.

– Is it possible to refuse godparents? Or baptize a child for the purpose of normal upbringing in the faith?

– In any case, a child cannot be re-baptized, because the Sacrament of Baptism is performed once, and no sins of either godparents, or his natural parents, or even the person himself can cancel all those grace-filled gifts that are given to a person in the Sacrament of Baptism.

As for communication with godparents, then, of course, betrayal of faith, that is, falling away into one or another heterodox confession - Catholicism, Protestantism, especially falling into one or another non-Christian religion, atheism, a blatantly ungodly way of life - in essence speaks of that the person failed to fulfill his responsibility as a godfather. The spiritual union concluded in this sense in the Sacrament of Baptism can be considered dissolved by the godmother or godfather, and you can ask another church-going pious person to take a blessing from his confessor to take care of the godfather or godmother for this or that child.

- I was invited to be godmother a girl, but everyone tells me that the boy must be baptized first. Is this true?

– The superstitious idea that a girl should have a boy as her first godson and that a baby girl taken from the font will become an obstacle to her subsequent marriage has no Christian roots and is an absolute fabrication that an Orthodox Christian woman should not be guided by.

– They say that one of the godparents must be married and have children. Is this true?

– On the one hand, the opinion that one of the godparents must be married and have children is a superstition, just like the idea that a girl who received a girl from the font will either not get married herself, or this will affect her fate some kind of imprint.

On the other hand, one can see a certain kind of sobriety in this opinion, if one does not approach it with a superstitious interpretation. Of course, it would be reasonable if people (or at least one of the godparents) who have sufficient life experience, who themselves already have the skill of raising children in faith and piety, and who have something to share with the baby’s physical parents, are chosen as godparents for the baby. And it would be highly desirable to look for such a godfather.

– Can a pregnant woman be a godmother?

– Church statutes do not prevent a pregnant woman from being a godmother. The only thing I urge you to think about is whether you have the strength and determination to share the love for your own child with the love for the adopted baby, whether you will have time to care for him, to advise the baby’s parents, to sometimes pray warmly for him , bring to the temple, somehow be a good older friend. If you are more or less confident in yourself and circumstances allow, then nothing prevents you from becoming a godmother, but in all other cases, it may be better to measure seven times before cutting once.

About godparents

Natalia Sukhinina

“I recently got into a conversation with a woman on the train, or rather, we even got into an argument. She argued that godparents, like father and mother, are obliged to raise their godson. But I don’t agree: a mother is a mother, whoever she allows to interfere in the child’s upbringing. I also once had a godson when I was young, but our paths diverged long ago, I don’t know where he lives now. And she, this woman, says that now I will have to answer for him. Responsible for someone else's child? I can’t believe it..."

(From a letter from a reader)

It so happened, and my life paths veered in a completely different direction from my godparents. Where they are now, how they live, and whether they are alive at all, I don’t know. I couldn’t even remember their names; I was baptized a long time ago, in infancy. I asked my parents, but they themselves don’t remember, they shrugged their shoulders, they said that people lived next door at that time, and they were invited to be godparents.

Where are they now, what are their names, do you remember?

To be honest, for me this circumstance was never a flaw, I grew up and grew up without godparents. No, I was lying, it happened once, I was jealous. A school friend was getting married and received as a wedding gift something as thin as a cobweb. gold chain. The godmother gave it to us, she boasted, who could not even dream of such chains. That's when I became jealous. If I had a godmother, maybe I would...
Now, of course, having lived and thought about it, I am very sorry about my random “father and mother”, who are not even in my mind, that I remember them now in these lines. I remember without reproach, with regret. And, of course, in a dispute between my reader and a fellow traveler on the train, I am completely on the side of the fellow traveler. She's right. We must answer for the godsons and goddaughters who have scattered from their parents’ nests, because they are not random people in our lives, but our children, spiritual children, godparents.

Who doesn't know this picture?

Dressed up people stand aside in the temple. The center of attention is a baby in lush lace, they pass him from hand to hand, go out with him, distract him so that he does not cry. They are waiting for the christening. They look at their watches and get nervous.

Godmothers and fathers can be recognized immediately. They are somehow especially focused and important. They are in a hurry to get a wallet to pay for the upcoming christening, give some orders, rustle with bags with baptismal clothes and fresh diapers. Little man does not understand anything, gawks at the wall frescoes, at the lights of the chandelier, at the “persons accompanying him,” among which the godfather’s face is one of many. But when the priest invites you, it’s time. They fussed, became agitated, the godparents tried their best to maintain importance - but it didn’t work, because for them, as well as for their godson, today’s exit to God's temple- a significant event.
- When last time“Were you in church?” the priest will ask. They will shrug their shoulders in embarrassment. He may not ask, of course. But even if he doesn’t ask, you can still easily determine from the awkwardness and tension that the godparents are not church people, and only the event in which they were invited to participate brought them under the arches of the church. Father will ask questions:

- Do you wear a cross?

– Do you read prayers?

– Are you reading the Gospel?

– Do you honor church holidays?

And the godparents will begin to mutter something incomprehensible and lower their eyes guiltily. The priest will certainly reassure you and remind you of the duty of godfathers and mothers, and of Christian duty in general. The godparents will hastily and willingly nod their heads, humbly accept the conviction of sin, and either from excitement, or from embarrassment, or from the seriousness of the moment, few will remember and let into the heart the main thought of the priest: we are all responsible for our godchildren, and now and forever. And whoever remembers will most likely misunderstand. And from time to time, mindful of his duty, he will begin to contribute what he can to the well-being of his godson.

The first deposit immediately after baptism: an envelope with a crisp, solid bill - enough for a tooth. Then, for birthdays, as the child grows older, a luxurious set of children's trousseau, an expensive toy, a fashionable backpack, a bicycle, a branded suit, and so on up to a gold chain, to the envy of the poor, for a wedding.

We know very little. And it’s not just a problem, but something that we don’t really want to know. After all, if they wanted to, then before going to the temple as a godfather, they would have looked there the day before and asked the priest what this step “threatens” us, how best to prepare for it.
Godfather is a godfather in Slavic. Why? After immersion in the font, the priest transfers the baby from his own hands to the hands of the godfather. And he accepts, takes it into his own hands. The meaning of this action is very deep. Perception godfather takes on the honorable, and most importantly, responsible mission of leading his godson along the path of ascension to the Heavenly inheritance. That's where! After all, baptism is the spiritual birth of a person. Remember in the Gospel of John: “Whoever is not born of water and the Spirit cannot enter the kingdom of God.”

The Church calls its recipients with serious words – “guardians of faith and piety”. But in order to store, you need to know. Therefore only a believer Orthodox man may be the godfather, and not the one who went to church for the first time with the baby being baptized. Godparents must know at least the basic prayers “Our Father”, “Virgin Mother of God”, “May God rise again...”, they must know the “Creed”, read the Gospel, the Psalter. And, of course, wear a cross, be able to be baptized.
One priest told me: they came to baptize a child, but the godfather did not have a cross. Father to him: put on the cross, but he can’t, he’s unbaptized. Just a joke, but the absolute truth.

Faith and repentance are the two main conditions for union with God. But faith and repentance cannot be demanded from a baby in lace, so the godparents are called upon, having faith and repentance, to pass them on and teach them to their successors. That is why they pronounce, instead of babies, the words of the “Creed” and the words of renunciation of Satan.

– Do you deny Satan and all his works? - asks the priest.

“I deny,” the receiver answers instead of the baby.

The priest is wearing a light festive robe as a sign of the beginning of a new life, and therefore of spiritual purity. He walks around the font, censes it, and everyone standing next to the lit candles. Candles are burning in the hands of the recipients. Very soon, the priest will lower the baby into the font three times and, wet, wrinkled, not at all understanding where he is and why, the servant of God, will hand him over to the hands of his godparents. And he will be dressed in white robes. At this time, a very beautiful troparion is sung: “Give me a robe of light, dress in light, like a robe...” Accept your child, successors. From now on your life will be filled special meaning, you have taken upon yourself the feat of spiritual parenthood, and for how you bear it, you now have to answer before God.

At the First Ecumenical Council, a rule was adopted according to which women become successors for girls, men for boys. Simply put, a girl needs only a godmother, a boy only a godfather. But life, as often happens, made its own adjustments here too. According to ancient Russian tradition, both are invited. Of course, you can’t spoil the porridge with oil. But even here it is necessary to know completely certain rules. For example, a husband and wife cannot be godparents to one child, just as a child’s parents cannot be his godparents at the same time. Godparents cannot marry their godchildren.

... The baby's baptism is behind us. Ahead of him big life, in which we are given a place equal to the father and mother who gave birth to him. Our work lies ahead, our constant desire to prepare our godson for his ascent to spiritual heights. Where to start? Yes, from the very beginning. At first, especially if the child is the first, parents are knocked off their feet by the worries that have fallen on them. They, as they say, don’t care about anything. Now is the time to give them a helping hand.

Carry the baby to Communion, make sure that icons hang over his cradle, give notes for him in church, order prayer services, constantly, like your own natural children, remember them in home prayers. Of course, there is no need to do this edifyingly, they say, you are mired in vanity, but I am all spiritual - I think about high things, I strive for high things, I take care of your child so that you can do without me... In general, the spiritual education of a child is only possible in case, if the godfather is his own person in the house, welcome, tactful. Of course, you don’t need to shift all your worries onto yourself. The responsibilities of spiritual education are not removed from parents, but to help, support, replace somewhere, if necessary, this is mandatory, without this you cannot justify yourself before the Lord.

This is truly a difficult cross to bear. And, probably, you need to think carefully before placing it on yourself. Will I be able to? Do I have enough health, patience, and spiritual experience to become a recipient of a person entering life? And parents should take a good look at relatives and friends - candidates for the honorary post. Which of them will be able to become a truly kind assistant in education, who will be able to bestow your child with true Christian gifts - prayer, the ability to forgive, the ability to love God. And plush bunnies the size of elephants may be nice, but they are not at all necessary.

If there is trouble in the house, there are different criteria. How many unfortunate, restless children suffer from drunken fathers and unlucky mothers. And how many simply unfriendly, embittered people live under one roof and make children suffer cruelly. Such stories are as old as time and banal. But if a person who stood with a lit candle in front of the Epiphany font fits into this plot, if he, this person, rushes, as if into an embrasure, towards his godson, he can move mountains. Possible good is also good. We are not able to discourage a foolish man from drinking half a liter, to reason with a lost daughter, or to sing “put up, put up, put up” to two frowning halves. But we have the power to take a boy who is tired of affection to our dacha for a day, enroll him in Sunday school and take the trouble to take him there and pray. The feat of prayer is at the forefront of the godparents of all times and peoples.

The priests well understand the severity of the feat of their successors and do not give their blessing to recruit a lot of children for their children, good and different.

But I know a man who has more than fifty godchildren. These boys and girls are right from there, from childhood loneliness, childhood sadness. From a big childhood misfortune.

This man’s name is Alexander Gennadievich Petrynin, he lives in Khabarovsk, directs the Children’s Rehabilitation Center, or more simply, an orphanage. As a director, he does a lot, gets funds for classroom equipment, selects personnel from conscientious, unselfish people, rescues his charges from the police, collects them in basements.

Like a godfather, he takes them to church, talks about God, prepares them for Communion, and prays. He prays a lot, a lot. In Optina Pustyn, in the Trinity-Sergius Lavra, in Diveyevo Monastery, in dozens of churches throughout Russia, long notes written by him about the health of numerous godsons are read. He gets very tired, this man, sometimes he almost falls from fatigue. But he has no other choice, he is a godfather, and his godchildren are a special people. His heart is a rare heart, and the priest, understanding this, blesses him for such asceticism. A teacher from God, those who know him in action say about him. Godfather from God - can you say so? No, probably all godparents are from God, but he knows how to suffer like a godfather, knows how to love like a godfather, and knows how to save. Like a godfather.

For us, whose godchildren, like the children of Lieutenant Schmidt, are scattered throughout cities and towns, his service to children is an example of true Christian service. I think that many of us will not reach its heights, but if we are to make life from anyone, then it will be from those who understand their title of “successor” as a serious, and not an accidental matter in life.
You can, of course, say: I am a weak person, a busy person, not much of a church member, and the best thing I can do in order not to sin is to refuse the offer to be a godfather altogether. It’s more honest and simpler, right? Easier - yes. But more honestly...
Few of us, especially when the time has imperceptibly approached to stop and look back, can say to ourselves - I good father, good mother, I didn’t owe my own child anything. We owe everyone, and the godless time in which our requests, our projects, our passions grew, is the result of our debts to each other. We won't give them back anymore. The children have grown up and are doing without our truths and our discoveries of America. The parents have grown old. But conscience, the voice of God, itches and itches.

Conscience requires an outburst, and not in words, but in deeds. Couldn't bearing the responsibilities of the cross be such a thing?
It’s a pity that there are few examples of the feat of the cross among us. The word "godfather" has almost disappeared from our vocabulary. And the recent wedding of my childhood friend’s daughter was a big and unexpected gift for me. Or rather, not even a wedding, which in itself great joy, and the feast, the wedding itself. And here's why. We sat down, poured the wine, and waited for the toast. Everyone is somehow embarrassed, the bride’s parents let the groom’s parents pass ahead with the speeches, and they do the opposite. And then the tall one stood up and handsome man. He stood up somehow very businesslike. He raised his glass:

– I want to say, as the godfather of the bride...

Everyone became quiet. Everyone listened to the words about how the young people should live long, in harmony, with many children, and most importantly, with the Lord.
“Thank you, godfather,” said the charming Yulka, and from under her luxurious foaming veil she gave her godfather a grateful look.

Thank you godfather, I thought too. Thank you for carrying love for your spiritual daughter from the baptismal candle to the wedding candle. Thank you for reminding us all of what we had completely forgotten about. But we have time to remember. How much - the Lord knows. Therefore, we must hurry.

Godparents have 3 main responsibilities towards their godchildren:

1. Prayer room. The godfather is obliged to pray for his godson, and also, as he grows up, to teach prayer, so that the godson himself can communicate with God and ask Him for help in all his life circumstances.

2. Moral. Using your own example, you must show your child human virtues - love, kindness, mercy, etc., so that the child grows up to be a truly good Christian.

3. Doctrinal. Teach your godson the basics of the Christian faith, and if you yourself are not knowledgeable enough, then first fill in the gaps yourself.

The godfather promises God that he will bring the baby to him - his godson. Remember this.

priest Mikhail Zazvonov

Who can be godfather?

– The godfather (father) must be an Orthodox Christian. A godfather cannot be someone who has fallen away from the Church (who does not regularly receive communion), a representative of another religion, or an atheist. What is required of the recipient is not only that he knows the Creed and read it at Baptism, but also the spiritual education of the godson in the future, daily prayer for him.

– The godfather must be a churchgoer, ready to regularly take his godson to church and raise him in the Christian faith.

– After the Sacrament of Baptism has been performed, the godfather cannot be changed, even if he has gone missing or fallen from the faith.

– Pregnant and unmarried women can be godparents of both boys and girls.

– The father and mother of a child cannot be godparents, and a husband and wife cannot be godparents for one child; other relatives - grandmothers, aunts and even older brothers and sisters can be godparents.

– A person should only have one godparent. According to the Trebnik, only one recipient is considered necessary - a man for a male person being baptized or a woman for a female person. The presence of a second godfather is an unwritten, albeit ancient, custom of the Church.

– Monks and nuns are not allowed to be ordained.

– The rite of the Sacrament of Baptism assumes the presence of recipients in person during its celebration. As a last resort, infant baptism is allowed even without godparents, then the priest himself is considered godfather.

– Marriages between the baptized person and the recipient of the same sex are prohibited: the recipient cannot marry his spiritual daughter, and the godfather cannot marry the widowed mother of his spiritual daughter (VI Ecumenical Council, rule 53).

It is reckless to invite a non-church person to be godparents: what can someone who does not know the subject teach? It’s like choosing a guide on a dangerous journey, where the price at stake is life (in our case, Eternal), a rogue who does not know the route.
It is also unreasonable for a church person to take vows before God to raise a child in the Christian faith, whose parents are not only outside the Church, but also do not intend to become a church member, to instill their child in Christ the Savior.
If you are invited to be a foster parent by parents who are not only not against baptizing a child, but are themselves ready to become members of the church community, then it is reasonable, before taking your own vows, to make your parents vow to fulfill the Commandments, to pray daily for their children, come to church with them, try to give them communion weekly. Ideally, it would be good to advise parents to go to Sunday school or catechesis classes: after a couple of classes it will be clear whether they are serious about spiritual life, or whether they view Baptism as a magical rite.

According to the ancient church rule, during the Baptism of infants, only one recipient was considered necessary - a man for a boy or a woman for a girl (Great Trebnik, Chapter 5, “see”). The rule about “being at Baptism to one recipient” belonged to the first centuries of Christianity and was strictly observed in the Eastern and Western Churches until the 9th century. In our time, the custom of having two godparents at Baptism has become widespread: the godfather and the godmother.

Only Orthodox successors or successors have ecclesiastical significance. Their names are remembered in prayers and included in certificates of Baptism. Receiver " represents the face of the person being baptized and vows to God for him, makes, confesses the symbol and is obliged to instruct the adopted son in the faith and law of God, which neither an ignoramus in the faith nor a non-believer can do"(Book on the positions of parish elders, 80).
According to practice ancient Church, just as non-Christians are never allowed to adopt children, so it is indecent for an Orthodox Christian to be the foster child of non-Christian parents, except in those cases when the children are baptized in Orthodox faith. The canons of the Church also do not provide for such a case as participation at baptism as a recipient of someone who does not profess Christ, or professes a different faith.

The insane, completely ignorant of the faith, as well as criminals, obvious sinners and those who came to the temple in drunk. For example, those who, due to negligence, did not attend confession and Holy Communion long time cannot give guidance and edification in life to their godchildren. Minors (under 14 years of age) cannot be recipients, since they are still incapable of teaching and are not firm in their understanding of the faith and power of the Sacrament (except in those cases when it is completely impossible to have an adult recipient).

The Ancient Russian Church did not know such a rule that would eliminate monks from succession. It is known that the godfathers of our Russian grand ducal and royal children were mostly monks. Only later were monks prohibited from succession because it involves the monk in communication with the world (Nomocanon at the Great Trebnik). Parents cannot be recipients of their own children from the baptismal font. It is inconvenient for a woman who is in normal purification to be a recipient. In such cases, you can postpone Baptism or invite another recipient.

Church rules do not prohibit siblings, father and daughter, or mother and son from being the adoptive parents of the same baby. Currently, priests do not allow husband and wife to share the same child. To prevent violations existing rules Regarding the successors, the priest usually finds out in advance from the parents who they want to have as the successors for their children.

Does the Church really teach that marriage between godparents is inadmissible?

... Currently, Article 211 of the Nomocanon [which states the inadmissibility of marriage between adoptive children] has no practical significance and should be considered cancelled... Since during baptism it is enough to have one recipient or one recipient, depending on the gender of the person being baptized, there is no reason to consider the recipients to be in any kind of spiritual relationship and therefore prohibit them from marrying each other.”

From the document: “Obstacles to weddings and adoption at baptism. Grigorovsky S.P. Publishing Council of the Russian Orthodox Church. 2007. By blessing His Holiness Patriarch Alexia II. pp. 49-51."

According to the site:

Godfather (« godfather"), and also godmother (« godmother") - spiritual parent ( receiver or recipient) in the Christian tradition, who, during the sacrament of baptism, accepts responsibility before God for the spiritual education and piety of the baptized ( godson or goddaughters).

Church rules provide for one godparent (of the same sex as the person being baptized), but since the 15th century in Russia it has been accepted that there should be no more than two godparents (of both sexes).

Requirements for recipients in Orthodoxy

The responsibilities of recipients are such that not every person can be admitted to perception from the font baptized Church rules eliminate this:

Parents of the person being baptized and persons related by blood (this prohibition is not absolutely binding)
Monks, since the monastic order is associated with complete renunciation of the world (historically, monastic authorities and monks of non-communal monasteries are successors).
Underage.
Gentiles, and not only non-Christians, but even heterodox ones. In some cases in the past, due to political circumstances, non-Orthodox recipients were allowed, but with the condition that they read the creed as it is read in the Orthodox Church.

Sources differ on the question of whether godfathers and mothers can marry each other: pre-revolutionary canon law this was not prevented; many modern sources claim the opposite.

Responsibilities of recipients

In Orthodoxy, recipients are obliged to:

teach godchildren to access the sacraments of the church (confession and communion)
give them knowledge about the meaning of worship and the features of the church calendar
teach to attend church services and fast

The duties of godparents also include helping godchildren in everyday life: protection of godchildren from temptations and temptations, advice in choosing an education and profession, spouse.

How are godparents chosen for a child? Who shouldn't be a godfather?

The question of how to choose godparents for a child’s christening is one of the most important in the days leading up to this great sacrament. The path of spiritual growth that he has to go through largely depends on how successful the choice of the child’s parents is. Therefore, we will try to fully understand this issue and, if possible, avoid mistakes.

When should a baby be baptized?

The first and most important event in the life of a newborn is the rite of holy baptism. There is no strictly established rule regarding how many days after the baby is born it should be performed. But taking into account the spiritual significance of the sacrament, it is recommended not to postpone it for a long time without serious reasons, and to try to have the sacrament performed in the first year of the child’s life.

Both in the process of performing the ritual and in the further spiritual life of the newly baptized, an important role is played by the godparents assigned to him, who take upon themselves the responsibility of raising him in the spirit of Orthodoxy. That is why the question of how to choose godparents for a child so that in the future they can fully fulfill the mission entrusted to them becomes important.

Who can't be one of the godparents?

It should be noted that there are certain restrictions when appointing godparents. First of all, the parents of the child themselves and, in addition, persons who are related, cannot play this role. Also, church rules prohibit entrusting this to people who are married to each other or intend to enter into it after some time. The reason here is quite obvious. Godparents are people who are spiritually related, and physical intimacy between them is unacceptable.

Continuing the conversation about how godparents are chosen for a child, it is necessary to emphasize that they cannot be all kinds of people of other faiths, including even Christians of other denominations (Catholics, Protestants, Lutherans, etc.). And, of course, this should not be trusted to people who are not believers at all or who declare their faith, but are not baptized and do not attend church.

As for the age restrictions imposed on possible candidates, girls can be godparents from the age of thirteen, and boys from the age of fifteen. It is believed that, subject to correct and proper religious education at this age, they are already able to understand the responsibility entrusted to them and, over time, become spiritual mentors of their godson.

And finally, from the number of possible candidates, persons suffering from mental illness should be excluded, since they cannot be held responsible for their actions, and those who lead an immoral (from the church and universal point of view) lifestyle. Monks and nuns also cannot be godparents.

Who should you choose?

However, the question of how godparents are chosen for a child is not limited to just the list of those who are not suitable for this role. Something else is much more important. You should know who can be chosen as godparents for a child, and in this regard there are no clearly defined boundaries, but only recommendations based on the life experience of previous generations of Orthodox Christians.

Before you choose someone, you should first of all think about whether they will pray all their lives for their godson or goddaughter, because this is precisely one of their main responsibilities. This is especially important in the first years after baptism, since the child is still small and cannot turn to the Creator in prayer. In addition, it is generally accepted that the prayer of those who received the baby from the holy font has a special power of grace and is heard.

Any relative of the child can become a godson, regardless of the degree of relationship, a friend of his parents, or simply someone whom they know and respect. But at the same time, it is necessary, first of all, to be guided by whether the chosen one will be a good adviser and a good spiritual educator of the child.

In order to more fully understand how godparents are chosen for a child, it is necessary to outline the range of responsibilities that are assigned to each of them. This will help to avoid in the future many griefs and disappointments associated with haste and ill-conceived decisions.

According to existing tradition, godparents must go to church a day or two before the sacrament and confess and receive communion there in order to remove the burden of earthly sins that could interfere with the establishment of spiritual unity with the godson. Directly on the day of baptism, they impose a voluntary fast on themselves, excluding both eating and performing marital duties.

During the sacrament, the “Creed” is read, and if the ritual is performed over a girl, then the godmother reads the prayer, and if over a boy, then the godfather. In this regard, it is important to prepare carefully, memorize the text and ask the priest in advance when to read the prayer and how.

Choosing the right godparents for a child is extremely important in relation to the help that is expected from them during the ceremony itself. And first of all, this applies to the godmother. She, among other things, must take care of the gift for the child, and various things necessary for the sacrament, such as a baptismal shirt, a towel and, of course, pectoral cross, which will be put on him. By the way, it should be noted that during the sacrament her presence is necessary, while the godfather can only participate in it in absentia.

Psychological aspect of choosing a godmother

It is also very important to take into account that after washing in the font, the child is taken into the arms of his godmother, and here it is necessary to take care that this does not cause stress for the baby. It is highly desirable that the candidate for this role has held him in her arms before, and he is familiar with her features. The same can be said about the godfather. In the entire range of issues related to how godparents are chosen for a child, this occupies one of the main places.

Responsibility for the subsequent spiritual life of the child

According to church teaching, the child’s connection with those who received him from the holy font is considered even closer than with the real parents who gave him life. They will have to answer for him at the Last Judgment, and therefore it is their duty to constantly take care of the spiritual growth of their godson.

This side of their responsibilities to him and to the church includes not only conversations on religious topics that can expand the godson’s knowledge of Orthodoxy, but also introducing the child to attending church and participating in divine services. Moreover, in order to achieve the best result, godparents must steadily increase their own spirituality and be a living and convincing example for the child.

Replacement of faith with ritual belief

It is very unfortunate that today the true Christian faith is often replaced by the so-called ritual faith. Leaving aside the foundations of the teachings of Jesus Christ, who preached humanism, sacrifice in the name of one’s neighbor and repentance as an indispensable condition for acquiring the Kingdom of God, people hope to receive immediate earthly blessings by performing certain ritual actions.

If such naivety was excusable to the ancient pagans due to their ignorance, now, when the Lord has given us holy gospel, one can only regret those who, when asked why they baptize a child, without thinking, answer: “So that he doesn’t get sick.” And that's all! Not a word about the fact that they desire his unity in the Spirit of God with the Creator of the Universe and the possibility of his inheriting Eternal Life.

How to choose godparents for a child if the parents are non-believers?

In addition, in recent years It has become fashionable to baptize children, and unbelieving parents often carry them to the holy font, doing this only in order to keep up with others. Despite this, the church welcomes the baptism of a newborn, regardless of the reasons that guided his parents, although he wishes them to take a more responsible approach to the holy sacrament, which is the spiritual birth of their little person.

That is why the question of how to choose godparents for a child becomes special meaning, because it is they who, with their religiosity, can make up for what a real father and mother are not able to give. His decision cannot contain any general advice, since in each case it is individual and depends on the environment of relatives and friends in which the young parents live. It is among these people that one should look for those who, with their faith, are able to help a child take the path of spiritual growth.

A question born of superstition

Sometimes you have to hear quite strange question about how to choose godparents for a child in leap year and in general, is it possible to perform this sacrament in a year that has February 29 in its calendar? This question is strange, first of all, because, according to the clergy themselves, in the Orthodox Church there is no such thing as a leap year, and therefore there are no restrictions associated with it, be it weddings, christenings or other sacraments. The popular belief that it brings misfortune is the fruit of superstition and empty speculation. Believers should have in themselves only the fear of God and hope in His mercy, and not the fear of some signs.

Godfather: duties at baptism and functions in Orthodoxy

Baptism is one of the important events in the life of an Orthodox person. It is believed that he receives some kind of pass into the Kingdom of God. This is the moment of a person’s spiritual birth, when his previous sins are forgiven and his soul is cleansed. Special attention One should pay attention to the choice of godparents for the child, since they have an influence on the spiritual life and salvation of the believer. Therefore, the godfather, whose duties and responsibilities include all of the above, must be worthy.

The role of a godfather in a child's life

Now let's take a closer look at what role the godfather plays in Orthodoxy, whose responsibilities include not only gifts for holidays. The most important thing he must do is to provide assistance in the spiritual life of his godson. So, let's look at the responsibilities in order:

Set a worthy example for him with your life. This means that in the presence of a godson you cannot drink alcohol, smoke cigarettes, or speak swear words. You need to be noble in your actions.
Prayers for your godson are obligatory, especially in difficult moments.
Visiting a temple with your child.
Spiritual education of the godson is mandatory (stories about God, teaching the Bible, etc.). If there are problems in life situations, then provide all possible assistance.
The responsibilities of the godfather also include financial support if necessary (if the parents difficult situation with money or work).

What do you need to know to choose godparents?

So, how to choose a godfather or godfather? What should you be guided by? Firstly, you should know that in the spiritual life of a child, the most important thing is a godfather of the same sex (for a boy - a godfather, for a girl - a godmother). However, according to established tradition, two are chosen as godfathers.

Of course, the decision who will be the child’s spiritual educator throughout his life is made at family council. If there are any difficulties when choosing, then consult with your priest or spiritual father. He will probably suggest a suitable candidate, because this is quite an honorable duty.

It is very important that godparents do not get lost in life, that they continue to spiritually care for the child throughout his life. Both the godmother and the godfather, whose duties and functions are described above, have their own responsibilities before the Lord.

Based on all this, Christians who are over fourteen years old are suitable for the role of spiritual parents. They take responsibility for the future spiritual life of the child, praying for him, and then teaching him to live in the Lord.

Who can't be a godfather?

When choosing a godfather or mother, you need to know who cannot be for your child:

Those who are going to become spouses in the future or are already such in the present.
Parents of the baby.
Those who accepted monasticism.
Unbaptized people or non-believers in the Lord.
You cannot take as godparents people who have mental illness.
Those who profess a different faith.

All of this should be taken into account before a godfather is chosen. His responsibilities are quite extensive, so the person who agreed to be him must be clearly aware of everything.

Necessary items for the ceremony

You should talk in more detail about what items are needed for this ritual:

Kryzhma. This is a special towel on which a cross is embroidered or simply depicted. A child is wrapped in it during anointing, as well as when prayers of prohibition are read. Sometimes the baby's name and the date of his baptism are embroidered on such a towel.
Baptismal swaddling cloth. This is not an entirely necessary attribute, but it should be there when it’s cold. This diaper is used to wipe the baby after dipping into the font, and then wrap it again in the kryzhma.
Clothes for baptism. This could be a christening set (dress) for a girl or a special shirt for a boy. It is advisable that these clothes be purchased as a gift by the baby’s successor.
It is necessary to have a pectoral cross with you for a future Christian. Usually it is acquired by the godfather. Responsibilities at baptism for him, of course, are not limited only to this acquisition, but they will be written about them below.
It is necessary to take with you an envelope for the baby's cut hair.
You should also purchase icons for the child and make a donation to the temple (this is an optional condition).

Is there any special preparation for recipients before the ceremony?

You should also pay attention to preparing for christening. The most correct step would be to contact your confessor or priest for advice. However, you should know that usually before the sacrament it is necessary to confess and receive communion. Before this, you need to fast (the priest should tell you about the number of days). Additional actions may be needed, such as reading prayers, spiritual literature, etc. It is also advisable not to visit at this time noisy parties, various entertainment venues, refuse to watch TV. All free time It is advisable to devote time to prayer.

If this is your first time in the role of godfather, then it is advisable to familiarize yourself with how the sacrament is performed, what prayers are read, and what the order of chants is. This is necessary because when you become a spiritual educator of a little person, you need more than just a formal presence. Sincere prayer is necessary, which should not stop even after the completion of the sacrament, because this is the essence of becoming a godparent.

More details about what responsibilities the godfather has during this ritual will be discussed below.

Present

Considering the question of the duties of a godfather at a christening, it should be said that on this day it is customary to give gifts, both to the baby and to the godfather. If desired, you can give a gift to your parents.

It is appropriate for a child to give both an educational toy and something more important for spiritual life, such as a Bible for children with pictures. By the way, the gift can be discussed in advance with the parents, because something else may turn out to be more important at this moment.

There is one main gift that his godfather must give the baby. The duties during baptism are not only to hold the baby, but also to show the first example of honoring the Lord. After all, children understand everything from birth at the level of feelings. In addition to reading prayers, such a gift is a pectoral cross, which is baptismal. It must be bought and presented by the recipient.

For parents, especially for the mother of the baby, a good gift There will be a prayer book containing the necessary prayers for the whole family.

How were christenings celebrated in ancient times?

Previously, as now, christenings were a very significant event in people's lives. This sacrament was necessarily performed no later than two months after the baby was born, and sometimes earlier, on the eighth day. This happened because there used to be a high infant mortality rate, so it was very important for loved ones to baptize the child before the irreparable happened, so that his soul would go to heaven.

The celebration of the little man’s joining the church took place with a large number guests. This was especially noticeable in large villages. Many people gathered for such a holiday, who came with gifts and best wishes baby. At the same time, they brought mainly various pastries - kulebyaki, pies, pretzels. In the house where the little man lived, a sumptuous table was set for the guests, and there was practically no alcohol (there could only be red wine in very small quantities).

There were traditional holiday dishes. For example, a rooster baked in porridge for a boy or a chicken for a girl. There were also a lot of shaped baked goods, which symbolized wealth, fertility, and longevity.

It was customary to invite the midwife to the table, who would receive the baby. They could also call the priest who performed the baptismal ceremony. During the celebration, numerous songs were sung, thus wishing the child all the best. They saw off all the guests, presenting each with sweets.

How is baptism performed? Responsibilities of a Godfather

Now let's look at how the ceremony itself takes place, what should be done at this time and what responsibilities each of those present has. In our time, this sacrament usually occurs on the fortieth day after birth. Parents or future godparents must go to the chosen temple in advance and sign up for the chosen date, as well as agree on the process itself. After all, you can hold individual christenings or general ones.

The responsibilities of a godfather during the baptism of a girl are the same, and that of a boy are different (although they differ slightly). If the child is not yet a year old and cannot stand on his own, then he is held in his arms all the time. For the first half of the ceremony (before immersion in the font), boys are held by their godmothers, and girls by their fathers. After the dive, everything changes. Since the main thing for a boy is the father, it is he who accepts the child, and the mother accepts the girl. And this continues until the end of the ceremony.

The service itself lasts about forty minutes (more time is required if there are many people). It begins after the celebration of the liturgy. The performance of the sacrament begins with the laying on of hands on the person being baptized and the recitation of a special prayer. After this, you should renounce Satan and his works. Adults are responsible for a child who cannot speak.

The next step in the ritual will be the consecration of the water in the font. Before immersing the person being baptized into it, he should be anointed with oil (back, chest, ears, forehead, legs and arms.) Only after this does immersion into the font occur. The priest reads prayers. This action symbolizes dying to the world and resurrecting to the Lord. This is how a kind of cleansing occurs.

Then the child is handed over to the godfather, he is wrapped in kryzhma (as mentioned above, the boy is handed over to the father, and the girl to the mother). Now the baby is anointed with myrrh.

So, now you know the responsibilities of a godfather when baptizing a boy and a girl. As you can see, they are slightly different.

Baptism at home

In addition to baptism in the temple, it would not be reprehensible to perform this sacrament at home, with your family. However, it is better to do it in the right place. This is based on the fact that after baptism, boys must be brought into the altar (girls simply venerate the icons).

After the ceremony is completed, the little man becomes a full member of the church. This can be felt most strongly only in the temple. Therefore, home christenings are possible only if the baby is unable to withstand the ceremony in church. They are also committed when the child is in mortal danger(illness, etc.). If the whole sacrament takes place at home, then the godfather has the same responsibilities for baptism as if the ceremony was performed in a temple.

Church life of new Christians

You should know that after baptism, a person’s spiritual life just begins. First acquaintance with church rules begins with a prayer from the mother and godmother. This is how, invisibly, the word of God is instilled in the baby. And in the future, when he sees everything for himself, you can slowly introduce him to family prayer, explaining its value.

Special mention should be made about baptismal accessories. Kryzhma and special clothes(if you purchased it) should be stored separately and not used in everyday life. A christening shirt (dress) can be worn when a child is ill (or simply wrapped in it). The icon that was used during the sacrament should be placed near the baby’s crib or on home iconostasis(if there is one). The candle is used in special cases and they also keep it for life.

The responsibilities of a godfather at baptism are just beginning. In the future, when the child grows up, he will need to go to church, receive communion and attend services. Of course, this can be done with parents, but it is better if it is a godfather. By the way, you need to take your child to church from an early age. It is there, in the bosom of the church, that he will be able to realize all the greatness of God. If he doesn’t understand something, you need to patiently explain the difficult moments.

This is how addiction occurs and has a beneficial effect on the human soul. Church chants and prayers calm and strengthen. As you grow older, difficult questions can arise. If godparents or parents cannot answer them, then it is better to turn to the priest.

Conclusion

So now you know what the responsibilities of a godfather are. They need to be taken seriously from the very beginning, as soon as such an offer is made to you. If necessary, consult with the priest about what you should do for your child, how to educate him in the spiritual life and what support to provide. Be careful, because from now on you and your godson are spiritually connected forever. You will also be responsible for his sins, so upbringing should be treated with special importance. By the way, if you are not confident in your abilities, then it is better to refuse this.

Godparents

The birth of a child is an important event in the family, but parents have to face a huge number of difficulties before they can breathe a sigh of relief. Raising a person includes a huge number of components, because it is very important not just to teach a child to read and write, to give him an education, but to raise a worthy member of society with stable moral and spiritual values.

In many respects, the child’s godparents should take upon themselves the spiritual upbringing of the child. Many people do not understand their task by baptizing a child. After all, it’s not about the gifts that they will now give to their godson on birthdays, name days and other holidays; now they are responsible for the baby’s faith, his Christian upbringing.

The sacrament of baptism is considered one of the major events in a person’s life and symbolizes purification and spiritual birth. The procedure itself requires immersion in water three times, as a symbol of the three days that Jesus spent in the tomb, after which his Resurrection occurred.

Godparents, or, as they are also called, godparents, vouch for the baby and are now his second parents, so the responsibility for Christian upbringing lies squarely on their shoulders.

It is difficult to say what motives parents follow when choosing godparents for their baby, but there are a number of restrictions that you need to know about in advance. So, for example, first of all, the parents themselves cannot be godparents for the child, and non-believers cannot take on such responsibilities. The mentally ill and morally fallen should not stand at the font with a baby in their arms, and young children are not allowed to participate in this ceremony as recipients. A husband and wife who are married cannot be godparents of one child, but they may well baptize their siblings (for example, the wife - a girl, and the husband - a boy).

In general, following church canons, just one recipient is enough to carry out a christening. A godmother is required in cases where the person being baptized is a girl, and vice versa, a godfather is needed when a boy is baptized. However, we traditionally choose two parents, because this absolutely does not contradict the church charter.

It is believed that it is the godfather who bears the costs of Baptism. He must also buy a gift and a cross for his goddaughter or godson. If the child is still very small, then it is best to put the cross on a wide ribbon so that the baby does not damage the delicate skin on the neck.

Godmother should take care of the purchase baptismal set, which includes a hat, shirt and kryzhma (towel or diaper) - this is what the baby is wrapped in after the bath.

However, in modern realities, godparents do not always have the financial ability to pay for all the arrangements; the main thing is their presence and acceptance of responsibility for the further spiritual education of the child. Each church may require its own mandatory set, which the baby must have at baptism.

Usually, the recipients buy a gift for a child’s christening together, the same cross and a chain made of silver or gold.

If you are among the invited guests at such family holiday, then traditionally as a gift you can give a blanket for the baby, diapers, vests, clothes, etc.

It is worth saying that when choosing adoptive parents for a child, it is necessary to give preference to those people who will subsequently be able to give the child proper spiritual education and surround him with care and love. Parents should not seek material gain in choosing godparents, guided by the level of financial security of the applicants. Godparents are, first of all, mentors who will help the child choose his own path and decide on priorities and life values.

What does it mean to be a godfather?

My friends suggested that I become their son's godfather. How is this? And what does this mean?

Rain.

This is a big responsibility. And if you are not a believer, then it is better to politely refuse... The godfather is in the same demand for raising his son as with his own father. IN spiritually, the godfather is even more responsible...

From the point of view of the church, godparents are the parents of the child; natural parents are not taken into account at all. you and the godmother will need to accustom the baby to church: take communion, take him to confession and much more. and in everyday life to always be there.

Just an angel

godparents talk about God, go for spiritual education godson, go to church with him, etc. and of course they treat the child as if they were their own. It's a great honor to be godparents. you were offered to become

Lighter

firstly, you must be a believer, because according to your faith the child will be baptized; secondly, the main duty of the godfather is to pray for the godson and introduce him to the faith. But in material terms, this is your whim, if you want, you can help.
you will be responsible for the child's soul

Briefly:

The godfather, or godfather, must be Orthodox Christian. A godfather cannot be a Catholic, a Muslim, or a very good atheist, because main responsibility godfather - to help the child grow in the Orthodox faith.
There must be a godfather church man, ready to regularly take his godson to church and monitor his Christian upbringing.
After baptism has been performed, godfather cannot be changed, but if the godfather has changed greatly for the worse, the godson and his family should pray for him.
Pregnant and unmarried women CAN to be godparents of both boys and girls - do not listen to superstitious fears!
Godparents the child's father and mother cannot be, and husband and wife cannot be godparents of the same child. other relatives - grandmothers, aunts and even older brothers and sisters can be godparents.

Answers from Rev. Maxim Kozlov on questions about the responsibilities of godparents from the site "Tatiana's Day".

— I was invited to become godfather. What will I have to do?

— Being a godfather is both an honor and responsibility.

Godmothers and fathers, participating in the Sacrament, take responsibility for the little member of the Church, therefore they must be Orthodox people . Godparents, of course, should be a person who also has some experience in church life and will help the parents raise the baby in faith, piety and purity.

- What should I give to my godson?

- Of course, you can give your godson a cross and a chain, and it doesn’t matter what they are made of; the main thing is that the cross be of the traditional form accepted in the Orthodox Church.

— How can I choose godparents for my child?

— Firstly, godparents must be baptized, church-going Orthodox Christians.

— Is it possible for a person to have only one godparent?

- Yes, it's possible. It is only important that the godparent be of the same gender as the godson.

— If one of the godparents cannot be present at the Sacrament of Baptism, is it possible to carry out the ceremony without him, but register him as a godparent?

— Until 1917, there was a practice of absentee godparents, but it was applied only to members of the imperial family, when they, as a sign of royal or grand-ducal favor, agreed to be considered the godparents of a particular baby. If we are talking about a similar situation, do so, but if not, then it is perhaps better to proceed from generally accepted practice.

- Who can’t be a godfather?

- Of course, non-Christians - atheists, Muslims, Jews, Buddhists and so on - cannot be godparents, no matter how close friends the child’s parents are and no matter how pleasant people they are to talk to.

- Which relative can be godfather?

- An aunt or uncle, grandmother or grandfather can become the adoptive parents of their little relatives. You just need to remember that a husband and wife cannot be godparents of one child. However, it’s worth thinking about this: our close relatives will still take care of the child and help us raise him. In this case, aren’t we depriving the little person of love and care, because he could have one or two more adult Orthodox friends to whom he could turn throughout his life. This is especially important during the period when the child seeks authority outside the family. At this time, the godfather, without in any way opposing himself to the parents, could become the person whom the teenager trusts, from whom he asks for advice even about what he does not dare to tell his loved ones.

— Is it possible to refuse godparents? Or baptize a child for the purpose of normal upbringing in the faith?

— In any case, a child cannot be rebaptized, because the Sacrament of Baptism is performed once, and no sins of either the godparents, or his natural parents, or even the person himself can cancel all those grace-filled gifts that are given to a person in the Sacrament of Baptism.

As for communication with godparents, then, of course, betrayal of faith, that is, falling away into one or another heterodox confession - Catholicism, Protestantism, especially falling into one or another non-Christian religion, atheism, a blatantly ungodly way of life - in essence speaks of that the person failed in his duty as a godmother. The spiritual union concluded in this sense in the Sacrament of Baptism can be considered dissolved by the godmother or godfather, and you can ask another church-going pious person to take a blessing from his confessor to take care of the godfather or godmother for this or that child.

“I was invited to be the girl’s godmother, but everyone tells me that the boy must be baptized first.” Is this true?

— The superstitious idea that a girl should have a boy as her first godson and that a baby girl taken from the font will become an obstacle to her subsequent marriage has no Christian roots and is an absolute fabrication that an Orthodox Christian woman should not be guided by.

— They say that one of the godparents must be married and have children. Is this true?

- On the one hand, the opinion that one of the godparents must be married and have children is a superstition, just like the idea that a girl who received a girl from the font will either not get married herself, or this will affect her fate some kind of imprint.

— Can a pregnant woman be a godmother?

— Church statutes do not prevent a pregnant woman from being a godmother. The only thing I urge you to think about is whether you have the strength and determination to share the love for your own child with the love for the adopted baby, whether you will have time to care for him, to advise the baby’s parents, to sometimes pray warmly for him , bring to the temple, somehow be a good older friend. If you are more or less confident in yourself and circumstances allow, then nothing prevents you from becoming a godmother, but in all other cases, it may be better to measure seven times before cutting once.

About godparents

Natalia Sukhinina

(From a letter from a reader)

Where are they now, what are their names, do you remember?

Now, of course, having lived and thought about it, I am very sorry about my random “father and mother”, who are not even in my mind, that I remember them now in these lines. I remember without reproach, with regret. And, of course, in a dispute between my reader and a fellow traveler on the train, I am completely on the side of the fellow traveler. She's right. We must answer for the godsons and goddaughters who have scattered from their parents’ nests, because they are not random people in our lives, but our children, spiritual children, godparents.

Who doesn't know this picture?

Godmothers and fathers can be recognized immediately. They are somehow especially focused and important. They are in a hurry to get a wallet to pay for the upcoming christening, give some orders, rustle with bags with baptismal clothes and fresh diapers. The little man does not understand anything, gawking at the wall frescoes, at the lights of the chandelier, at the “persons accompanying him,” among which the face of the godfather is one of many. But when the priest invites you, it’s time. They fussed, became agitated, the godparents tried their best to maintain importance - but it didn’t work, because for them, as well as for their godson, today’s entrance into God’s temple is a significant event.
“When was the last time you were in church?” the priest will ask. They will shrug their shoulders in embarrassment. He may not ask, of course. But even if he doesn’t ask, you can still easily determine from the awkwardness and tension that the godparents are not church people, and only the event in which they were invited to participate brought them under the arches of the church. Father will ask questions:

— Do you wear a cross?

— Do you read prayers?

- Are you reading the Gospel?

— Do you honor church holidays?

The first deposit immediately after baptism: an envelope with a crisp, respectable bill - enough for a tooth. Then, for birthdays, as the child grows older - a chic set of children's trousseau, an expensive toy, a fashionable backpack, a bicycle, a branded suit, and so on up to a gold chain, to the envy of the poor, for a wedding.

Godfather is a godfather in Slavic. Why? After immersion in the font, the priest transfers the baby from his own hands to the hands of the godfather. And he accepts, takes it into his own hands. The meaning of this action is very deep. By acceptance, the godfather takes upon himself the honorable, and most importantly, responsible mission of leading the godson along the path of ascension to the Heavenly inheritance. That's where! After all, baptism is the spiritual birth of a person. Remember in the Gospel of John: “Whoever is not born of water and the Spirit cannot enter the kingdom of God.”

The Church calls its recipients with serious words - “guardians of faith and piety”. But in order to store, you need to know. Therefore, only a believing Orthodox person can be a godfather, and not the one who went to church for the first time with the baby being baptized. Godparents should know at least the basic prayers“Our Father”, “Virgin Mother of God”, “May God rise again...”, they must know the “Creed”, read the Gospel, the Psalter. And, of course, wear a cross, be able to be baptized.
One priest told me: they came to baptize a child, but the godfather did not have a cross. Father to him: put on the cross, but he can’t, he’s unbaptized. Just a joke, but the absolute truth.

Faith and repentance are the two main conditions for union with God. But faith and repentance cannot be demanded from a baby in lace, so the godparents are called upon, having faith and repentance, to pass them on and teach them to their successors. That is why they pronounce, instead of babies, the words of the “Creed” and the words of renunciation of Satan.

- Do you deny Satan and all his works? - asks the priest.

“I deny,” the receiver answers instead of the baby.

The priest is wearing a light festive robe as a sign of the beginning of a new life, and therefore of spiritual purity. He walks around the font, censes it, and everyone standing next to the lit candles. Candles are burning in the hands of the recipients. Very soon, the priest will lower the baby into the font three times and, wet, wrinkled, not at all understanding where he is and why, the servant of God, will hand him over to the hands of his godparents. And he will be dressed in white robes. At this time, a very beautiful troparion is sung: “Give me a robe of light, dress in light, like a robe...” Accept your child, successors. From now on, your life will be filled with a special meaning, you have taken upon yourself the feat of spiritual parenthood, and for how you carry it, you will now have to answer before God.

At the First Ecumenical Council, a rule was adopted according to which women become successors for girls, men for boys. Simply put, a girl needs only a godmother, a boy only a godfather. But life, as often happens, made its own adjustments here too. According to ancient Russian tradition, both are invited. Of course, you can’t spoil the porridge with oil. But even here you need to know very specific rules. For example, a husband and wife cannot be godparents to one child, just as a child’s parents cannot be his godparents at the same time. Godparents cannot marry their godchildren.

... The baby's baptism is behind us. He has a big life ahead of him, in which we have a place equal to the father and mother who gave birth to him. Our work lies ahead, our constant desire to prepare our godson for his ascent to spiritual heights. Where to start? Yes, from the very beginning. At first, especially if the child is the first, parents are knocked off their feet by the worries that have fallen on them. They, as they say, don’t care about anything. Now is the time to give them a helping hand.

Carry the baby to Communion, make sure that icons hang over his cradle, give notes for him in church, order prayer services, constantly, like your own blood children, remember them in home prayers. Of course, there is no need to do this edifyingly, they say, you are mired in vanity, but I am all spiritual - I think about high things, I strive for high things, I take care of your child so that you can do without me... In general, the spiritual education of a child is only possible in case, if the godfather is his own person in the house, welcome, tactful. Of course, you don’t need to shift all your worries onto yourself. The responsibilities of spiritual education are not removed from parents, but to help, support, replace somewhere, if necessary, this is mandatory, without this you cannot justify yourself before the Lord.

If there is trouble in the house, there are different criteria. How many unfortunate, restless children suffer from drunken fathers and unlucky mothers. And how many simply unfriendly, embittered people live under one roof and make children suffer cruelly. Such stories are as old as time and banal. But if a person who stood with a lit candle in front of the Epiphany font fits into this plot, if he, this person, rushes, as if into an embrasure, towards his godson, he can move mountains. Possible good is also good. We are not able to discourage a foolish man from drinking half a liter, to reason with a lost daughter, or to sing “put up, put up, put up” to two frowning halves. But we have the power to take a little boy who is tired of affection to our dacha for a day, enroll him in Sunday school and take the trouble to take him there and pray. The feat of prayer is at the forefront of the godparents of all times and peoples.

The priests well understand the severity of the feat of their successors and do not give their blessing to recruit a lot of children for their children, good and different.

But I know a man who has more than fifty godchildren. These boys and girls are right from there, from childhood loneliness, childhood sadness. From a big childhood misfortune.

This man’s name is Alexander Gennadievich Petrynin, he lives in Khabarovsk, he is the director of the Children’s Rehabilitation Center, or more simply, an orphanage. As a director, he does a lot, gets funds for classroom equipment, selects personnel from conscientious, unselfish people, rescues his charges from the police, collects them in basements.

Like a godfather, he takes them to church, talks about God, prepares them for Communion and prays. He prays a lot, a lot. In Optina Pustyn, in the Trinity-Sergius Lavra, in the Diveyevo Monastery, in dozens of churches throughout Russia, long notes written by him about the health of numerous godchildren are read. He gets very tired, this man, sometimes he almost falls from fatigue. But he has no other choice, he is a godfather, and his godchildren are a special people. His heart is a rare heart, and the priest, understanding this, blesses him for such asceticism. A teacher from God, those who know him in action say about him. Godfather from God - can you say that? No, probably all godparents are from God, but he knows how to suffer like a godfather, knows how to love like a godfather, and knows how to save. Like a godfather.

For us, whose godchildren, like the children of Lieutenant Schmidt, are scattered throughout cities and villages, his service to children is an example of true Christian service. I think that many of us will not reach its heights, but if we are to make life from anyone, then it will be from those who understand their title of “successor” as a serious, and not an accidental matter in life.
You can, of course, say: I am a weak person, a busy person, not much of a church member, and the best thing I can do in order not to sin is to refuse the offer to be a godfather altogether. It’s more honest and simpler, right? Simpler - yes. But more honestly...
Few of us, especially when the time has come to stop and look back, can say to ourselves - I am a good father, a good mother, I do not owe anything to my own child. We owe everyone, and the godless time in which our requests, our projects, our passions grew, is the result of our debts to each other. We won't give them back anymore. The children have grown up and are doing without our truths and our discoveries of America. The parents have grown old. But conscience is the voice of God- itching and itching.

Conscience requires an outburst, and not in words, but in deeds. Couldn't bearing the responsibilities of the cross be such a thing?
It’s a pity that there are few examples of the feat of the cross among us. The word "godfather" has almost disappeared from our vocabulary. And the recent wedding of my childhood friend’s daughter was a big and unexpected gift for me. Or rather, not even a wedding, which in itself is a great joy, but a feast, the wedding itself. And here's why. We sat down, poured the wine, and waited for the toast. Everyone is somehow embarrassed, the bride’s parents let the groom’s parents go ahead with the speeches, and they do the opposite. And then a tall and handsome man stood up. He stood up somehow very businesslike. He raised his glass:

- I want to say, as the godfather of the bride...