How to get a person to accept your point of view. How to convince a person that black is white

Offer a drink. If you want to convince a person of something, offer him a hot drink, such as tea, coffee or cocoa, during a conversation. If you offer a warm drink, a person will subconsciously perceive you as a warm, pleasant and hospitable person. A cold drink may have the opposite effect. Typically, people feel cold and crave warm food and drinks when they feel socially isolated. Satisfy their need and they will become more receptive to your words.

Ask questions that assume a positive answer of “Yes.” Start the conversation by asking questions that invite a positive response, such as: “Today good weather, right?”, “You want to buy a car at a good price, don’t you?”

Once you get someone to say yes, it will be easier to get them to say, “Yes, I'll buy it.”
It's best to ask vague questions, but make sure your wife is aware of why you are complimenting another girl.

Break the barrier of touch. Whether you're closing a deal or asking someone out on a date, touch them casually. A light touch can increase your chances of promoting a product or service - the interlocutor’s desire to get closer is activated on a subconscious level.

Don't put pressure on people! Try asking the person for a favor after a few weeks.
During the conversation, try to be as pleasant as possible. If a person is attracted to you, you will have a better chance of getting what you want.
There are several ways to look more powerful. You can wear a black suit, which is popular with judges, police and clergy, or keep a neutral face. But being dominant does not always mean being convincing. If you are a seller, you rather need to find mutual language with the buyer, and not to scare him. If you are a controller, you are more likely to hold people in your fist, ruling and dominating them.
Know when to stop. There are people who are very stubborn, and there are also those who simply avoid others.
If you agree to pay later, sign a contract and have a trusted third party be present.
Use the same methods as the sales assistant to take revenge on him and scare him away. For example, when buying a car, have a conversation. Ask questions to which you know the answers: “Car sales are down, aren’t they?” “Guys, I think you should write off the 2012 car already!” Thus, the seller will bend over backwards to sell the product. Remind employees that they wage declined, doing it by chance.
Share your opinion regarding the situation in which the person finds himself. Let's say someone discovered that they could see the future. Tell him how scared you were to discover something similar in yourself. Perhaps at first the person will not share with you a story about his gift - wait a few days. Then tell him about the famous psychic. Perhaps now the person will open up. You need to act step by step - this is often how people open up.
Don't talk too much. Your task is to understand potential clients, not to get into their wallets. Demonstrate the ability to listen and understand so that people see that you are willing to serve for their benefit. Too many words are a waste of time, both yours and your potential clients'.
Make them think, “This is what I need!” This will make it easier to convince people.

Warnings

Don't speak too fast. You must be confident, but rushing through techniques can lead to negative results.
If you ask for too much, your request may be rejected. Have you asked for anything and think your chances are slim? Treat this person well and when he has good mood, ask for what you wanted. If a person Bad mood He'll probably get even angrier.
Don't try to persuade someone to do something unless the request contributes to their well-being.
Do not act rashly or use inappropriate words in your messages.
Once a person finds out that you have manipulated them, they will feel extremely uncomfortable in your company. Just think how much You hate the hard sell of goods and services or a passive-aggressive family member.
Be careful when using persuasion techniques on friends. Sometimes you need to make a decision in your favor and convince others of its correctness. On the other hand, if you do this too often, people may think that you are controlling or manipulating them. This may lead to undesirable consequences.

An argument with a boss is always a test for the psyche. And more likely for you than for the boss. Because it’s one thing if you argue with your equal, and even more so with someone who is lower than you in the hierarchical ladder, but it’s completely another thing to argue with your boss. What are the secrets of a successful argument with your boss?

First, let's define the criterion for success. By success we mean the fact that you have come to a common opinion and a common vision of what was the subject of the dispute, and this is the result of disagreement and bad compromise, which will not lead to anything good, but a decision in which both you and your boss believe that it really is the best. This is truly a success.

First, choose the right boss. That is, choose for yourself
The bosses of a person who respects other people's opinions, is ready to listen and hear. There is no point in arguing with people who don’t hear and - what’s even worse - don’t like to be objected to.

Second, argue on a subject that you know better than your boss. The more deeply and meaningfully you understand the issue under discussion, the greater the chances of convincing your boss that you are right or the more likely it is to come to the right decision. In a dispute with your boss, other things being equal, you are always the loser, because he is the boss. Therefore, your deeper knowledge of the subject is simply necessary - you, in fact, are paid for this.

Third, don't agree if you don't agree. It’s very difficult to say “No, I don’t agree” to your boss (more correctly, “I don’t quite agree,” but the meaning of what you wanted to say does not change), but that’s what they’re holding you for. Otherwise, why are you even needed in your place if you immediately agree to everything? But if you don’t agree, you need to clearly argue and state your position. Do not be fooled by the very confident tone in which the boss presents his arguments; it is not a fact that they are correct, even if he speaks about it very confidently. Their job is to speak in a confident tone. They are the bosses after all. In general, disagree if the arguments are present and make sense - you will earn more respect from your boss and colleagues who are present during your dispute.

It is important in a dispute not just to convince the boss that he is wrong and to insist on his own - it is important to develop correct solution

Fourth - listen to your boss and try to understand his arguments and motives in the dispute. In a dispute, it is important not just to convince your boss that he is wrong and insist on your own - it is important to work out the right decision. And here, even having a deeper understanding of the subject and having your own argumentation, you must be ready to accept the arguments and adjust your vision of the solution. Because the boss may have his own opinion and may in fact be right, or at least partially right.

Fifth - pass off your idea and position as his, the boss. Not so straightforward, but, as a rule, there are many similarities in the positions and the ideas, after a slight modification, may differ in appearance, but in essence be the same. Bosses love it when people agree with their ideas. Therefore, modify your idea and position in the dispute into the boss’s coordinate system, cross his idea with yours with the unconditional dominance of your idea - and present it to the boss as his own idea. But this aerobatics accessible to few and
only after serious training.

Sixth - avoid harsh and unambiguous statements like “You are wrong”, “You are mistaken”, “This is an erroneous opinion” (this is about the boss’s opinion). Especially if you argue with your boss in front of other people. Bosses are subtly sensitive to manifestations of disrespect for their nature. In such a situation, you will receive an aggressive rebuff to any of your arguments, the dispute will quickly turn into a personal plane and will not end well. The boss will consider it his duty to put everything in its place and show you where you belong. Moreover, he can do it very beautifully and
masterly. And to compete in this - if the situation has turned in this direction - is certainly ineffective. Whatever the outcome, you will lose. He's the boss - he has this great experience, and he is the boss.

The seventh is for perfectionists and the most risky debaters. At the end of the argument, say what you agreed on. I understand that you are exhausted by the argument and everything seems clear to everyone about what was agreed upon. But it must be said that the understanding of the results with the boss may be different. And in the future, as you understand, the interpretation of the outcome of the dispute will be carried out by the boss, and not by you. Therefore, no matter how difficult it is for you, speak clearly about what you ultimately agreed on. Otherwise, all previous efforts may be in vain.

Argue with pleasure and with results. After all, it is in disputes that truth is born.

To convey your idea to the manager, you need to better understand the characteristics of his personality. Don’t act by the rule “treat others the way you would like to be treated,” but give the person what he needs based on his character. If your boss is results-oriented, it's best to summarize the facts and get right to the point of how you'll benefit the company. If you know that your manager has an analytical mind, prepare comprehensive data that illustrates your ideas, and, already armed with this material, go to the meeting.

To understand what type your manager is, you can rely on your personal observations or resort to the help of psychological practices. One of the popular personality profiling systems is the Thomas test. By taking this test yourself and receiving a description of the types, you will be able to better understand what motivates you and those around you and how to adapt your behavior style to a specific person.

It will be useful to ask your colleagues what you should avoid when communicating with your manager. If you know in advance that closed door to his office - a sign that now is not the right time for a conversation, or, for example, that it is better not to approach your boss with important questions in the afternoon, then you can avoid unnecessary negativity. In a conversation, do not go straight to the controversial issue, but discuss your common interests or the company's latest successes. Start the conversation on a positive note and you'll be more likely to be heard.

It is also important to prepare for your boss's reaction. If you know in advance that your idea is not yet approved by your manager, be prepared to respond to his objections. Think about what questions you might be asked and why, and prepare yourself mentally for next steps conversations. On many business people act convincingly successful examples from practice. Support your idea with information about results or successful cases. If your argument has already been tested in another business, there is a greater chance that the manager will listen to it.

Accepted in companies different ways communications between workers and their managers. For example, there are companies that have dedicated meeting times for this purpose. There are companies that welcome a lively dialogue between employees and their managers, and then the employee almost always has the opportunity to come up with his own suggestions or comments.

But nevertheless, regardless of the company and its internal rules, I would recommend that employees specially prepare before a difficult or ambiguous conversation with their manager. Agree with your boss on a time that would be convenient for him to talk to you. If possible, put the meeting on his work calendar so he doesn't forget about it. Respect the time of your colleagues and managers, so don't be late.

Be sure to think through all the reasons you can give for your opinion. Consider whether you can provide any additional arguments to defend your point of view, for example, show a calculation, prepare graphs and/or a forecast that will show that you are right. If, after giving all your reasons, your boss does not agree with you, ask him to comment on his disagreement so that you can more easily understand his point of view. You may have a different impression of a situation because you have different information. By sharing it during a meeting, you will have a better chance of coming to a common denominator without leading the situation to conflict.

In conditions of fierce competition, it is not enough to be persistent, executive and professional employee. It is also important to be proactive. Only if you are self-confident, proactive, and have a lot of new ideas swarming in your head, which you tirelessly “bring” into the management office, do you have a chance for a quick career takeoff. True, few people know how to do this correctly, without spoiling either the idea itself or the relationship with management.

I offer several simple tips, which will help build professional and effective communication even with the most demanding manager.

Before you go to your manager with your proposal, it is important to earn his trust in you as a professional and a person. It is foolish to expect that after several missed deadlines, being late for important negotiations and many errors in the latest report, you will be listened to, much less heard.

Think in advance about what and how you will talk. The proposal should sound structured, consistent and logical. Speech must be clear, understandable, and competent. The tone of the story is confident, friendly, and emotionally rich.

Prepare for a comprehensive discussion of your proposal, argue for its feasibility, point out not only its strengths, but also weak sides. This will be a signal to the manager that you have worked through all aspects of the issue, have no illusions, and are able to approach your proposal with a dose of healthy criticism. When making arguments in favor of your proposal, take into account the personality of your leader, think in advance what arguments could convince this particular person, taking into account his professional competencies and personal characteristics. To do this, look at your proposal through the eyes of the manager, think about what questions he could ask and what examples could make the greatest impression on him. Try to be convincing, but not pushy.

Watch the non-verbal behavior of your interlocutor, it can tell you a lot.

When making arguments in favor of your proposal, use incentives that are not only for the benefit of the common cause, but also consistent with the interests of the manager himself. A person expresses greater interest in an issue when a stimulus can satisfy one of his personal needs.

Show respect and attentiveness to your interlocutor. Be prepared to hear opinions opposite to yours and accept them. Even if the manager does not share your point of view, it is important to leave a positive impression from the discussion of the issue. This will significantly increase the likelihood that after communication the manager will reconsider your proposal and change his point of view in your favor.

And most importantly, remember - any bad experience is not a defeat and does not serve as a signal for further inaction. Even if you failed to convince your manager the first time, this is not a reason to doubt your abilities. Work on your mistakes, prepare more thoroughly and go for it!

Everyone at least once in their life communicated with a very stubborn and difficult interlocutor.

Everyone knows that the easiest way to resolve a dispute is to avoid it. However, sometimes the situation requires that you defend your point of view and convince the most stubborn interlocutor that you are right. The following 10 tips will help you do this.

1. Be careful and polite

First of all, do not play with the thin threads of a person’s pride: do not offend him, humiliate him or get personal, otherwise you will not prove anything to him and he will go into a defensive position of denying everything in the world (antagonism). And it is almost impossible to convince a person in such a state.

2. Strong arguments first

Speak the strongest and most compelling arguments for your position first. There is no need to start with the little things, release heavy artillery right away, and only then reinforce it with small infantry.

3. Earn trust

Try to increase your status and image: give reasons that you know this in practice, that you have been doing this for many years and have received concrete results or earned a lot of money from it.

4. Be smart

A powerful weapon is to say the following: “Yes, yes, this is exactly what you are right about, this Good idea, but in this you are completely wrong...” When a person feels that his thoughts have been noticed, he can listen to yours.

5. Rude flattery

Praise the person! Compliments, and especially unexpected compliments, will surprise and delight everyone, and this is exactly what you need - to relax your opponent, reduce his control over the situation.

6. Sequence of consent

Rule of consistency: first tell the person what he agrees with (even if these are absolutely obvious things), and then your point of view. The likelihood of agreement in this case increases many times.

7. Steer the conversation away from dangerous topics

Avoid “ sharp corners” and topics that can increase conflict, as well as those that are a weak point for you.

If something like this comes up, urgently turn the conversation away from it, say: “We’re not talking about that now, but about...”, “this has nothing to do with the matter, it only has to do with the matter...”.

8. Notice every little detail

Watch a person's nonverbal behavior, it can reveal a lot. Nonverbal behavior is posture, gestures and facial expressions. If you notice that after some argument a person’s eye twitches, immediately continue to expand on this argument further and in great detail - this is your strongest argument and the person understands this and gets nervous.

9. People love benefits and benefits.

Convince the person that what you are telling him is very useful and even beneficial for him, and his position, on the contrary, will not bring him anything other than “just his position.”

10. Show unexpected consideration and respect

Listen carefully to your interlocutor, even if he annoys you: anyone will notice that you are attentive to him, and this will especially be noticed by someone who knows that despite the fact that you disagree with him, you are attentive to him. This way, you can stand out from other people with whom he has ever argued.

Good luck to you, because now we know for sure that using these tips, you will win any dispute!

To achieve success, improve relationships with colleagues, and arrange your personal life, it is important to know how to persuade people. Changing a person's position can be difficult, but there are various means of persuasion for this.

How to persuade a person: methods of verbal influence

Belief is a form psychological impact per person, in which main role verbal or speech means play a role: logic, clear argumentation, inferences, etc. There are several effective psychological techniques that increase the persuasiveness of speech, and often help influence the subconscious of the interlocutor.

Knowing how to persuade people will help you achieve your goal faster.

Logics. A person’s acceptance of your arguments directly depends on the logic of your speech. It manifests itself in a clear connection between judgments, when one thought naturally follows from another and ultimately leads the interlocutor to the conclusion you need.
Stimulation. When persuading, choose arguments that affect your partner’s personal interests and “promise” him benefits or threaten him with problems.
Reframing. This psychological technique“reversing” the meaning of a statement. Words are the shell of a thought, but the same thought expressed in different words, can change the meaning to the exact opposite. Thus, the words “scout” and “spy” have the same meaning, but completely different meanings.
Emotional coloring of speech. The degree of your persuasiveness largely depends on the personal interest and emotionality of the speech.

All these methods will only work if your speech is clear, expressive, and distinguished by high culture and good lexicon. The indistinct, confused muttering of a man having difficulty finding the right words, will never be convincing.

How to persuade a person to do something: nonverbal means

It has long been noted that in personal contact it is easier to convince a person of something than over the phone. It's even harder to do this in a written message. The fact is that non-verbal (non-speech) means of communication play a huge role in the transmission of information. With their help, 60-80% of information is transmitted, and they are the ones who are able to influence a person’s subconscious, regardless of his desire.

There are many techniques for psychologically “tuning” an interlocutor. Here are some of them.

Mirror. Unobtrusively repeating your partner's movements makes him trust you.
Light touches. Psychologists believe that a person, in a conversation with someone he trusts, unconsciously tries to touch him from time to time. By touching your interlocutor, you thereby demonstrate your trust in him and set him up for a positive perception of you.
Smile. This universal means of communication has a positive effect on people and encourages them to trust their interlocutor.
Expressive intonation. Convincing and positively colored intonation creates a special optimistic atmosphere. You want to believe a person who speaks energetically and even cheerfully.

Persuasiveness should not be confused with obsession. Trying to convince your interlocutor for too long causes irritation and rejection. Therefore, if you were unable to persuade a person, then it is better not to insist and postpone the conversation until another convenient time.

Sometimes the success of our endeavors largely depends on our ability to convince people to accept our point of view.

But, unfortunately, this is not so easy to do, even if we have truth and common sense on our side. The ability to persuade is a rare but very useful gift. How to convince a person? Persuasion is a way of influencing people's consciousness, directed towards their own critical perception.

The essence of persuasion is to first achieve internal agreement with certain conclusions from the interlocutor using logical argumentation, and then, on this basis, create and consolidate new ones or transform old ones that correspond to a worthwhile goal.

Persuasive communication skills can be learned both at various trainings and on your own. The principles and techniques of persuasive speech given below will teach you the ability to persuade, and they are equally effective in persuading one person or an entire audience.

A clear understanding of your own intentions

In order to change or shape the opinions of people, or in order to induce them to take any action, you yourself need to clearly understand your intentions and be deeply confident in the truth of your ideas, concepts and ideas.

Confidence helps to make unambiguous decisions and implement them without hesitation, taking an unshakable position in assessing certain phenomena and facts.

Structured speech

The persuasiveness of speech depends on its structure - thoughtfulness, consistency and logic. The structured nature of speech allows you to explain the main points in a more accessible and understandable way, helps to clearly follow the intended plan, such speech is better perceived and remembered by the listener.

Introduction

An effective introduction will help to interest and attract a person’s attention, establish trust and create an atmosphere of goodwill. The introduction should be brief and consist of three or four sentences indicating the subject of speech and telling the reason why you should know what will be discussed.

The introduction sets the mood and tone of the speech. A serious beginning gives the speech a restrained and thoughtful tone. A humorous beginning sets a positive mood, but you should understand that if you start with a joke and set the audience in a playful mood, it will be difficult to talk about serious things.

It must be understandable, clear and meaningful - persuasive speech cannot be incomprehensible and chaotic. Break the main points, thoughts and ideas into several parts. Consider smooth transitions that show the connection between one part of the speech and another.

statement of facts that can be verified;
expert opinions, judgments of people with authority in this field;
, revitalizing and explaining the material;
specific cases and examples that can explain and illustrate facts;
description of your own experience and your theory;
statistics that can be verified;
reflections and forecasts about future events;
funny stories and anecdotes (in a small dose), meaningfully reinforcing or revealing the points in question;
literal or figurative comparisons and contrasts that illustrate statements by showing differences and similarities.

Conclusion

The conclusion is the most difficult and important point persuasive speech. It should repeat what was said and enhance the effect of the entire speech. What is said in conclusion, a person will remember longer. As a rule, it is at the end, along with a summary of what has been said, that a call to action sounds, which describes the actions and behavior of people necessary for the speaker.

Evidence-based arguments to support your idea

For the most part, people are rational and rarely do anything that is not beneficial to them. Therefore, in order to convince a person, you need to find good arguments explaining the justification and expediency of the proposal.

Arguments are thoughts, statements and arguments used to support a particular point of view. They answer the question of why we should believe or act in something. in a certain way. The persuasiveness of a speech largely depends on the correctness of the selected arguments and evidence.

What should be the criteria for evaluating and selecting arguments:

The best arguments are those that are supported by solid evidence. It happens that a speech sounds convincing, but is not supported by facts. When preparing your speech, make sure your arguments are sound.
Good arguments must be intelligently and concisely built into the proposal. They shouldn't sound out of place.
Even if your argument is well supported and justified, it may not be accepted by a person. People react differently. For some, your facts and arguments will sound convincing, while others will not consider the arguments you used to be the main ones for assessing the situation. Of course, you cannot know for sure what impact your argument will have on the person being persuaded, but you can at least approximately guess and estimate what the result will be based on the analysis of the individual (audience).

To ensure that you present a truly compelling case, you should ask yourself at least three questions:

Where did the information come from, from what source? If evidence comes from a biased or unreliable source, it is best to either exclude the evidence from your speech or seek confirmation from other sources. Just as one person's words are more trustworthy than another's, so some printed sources are more reliable than others.
Is the information current? Ideas and statistics should not be outdated. What was true three years ago may not be true today. Your generally persuasive speech may be questioned due to one inaccuracy. This should not be allowed!
What relevance does this information have to the case? Make sure that the evidence provides clear support for the arguments you are making.

Presenting information and formulating goals with a focus on attitudes and audiences

An attitude is a stable or predominant feeling, negative or positive, associated with a particular issue, object or person. Usually people verbally express such attitudes in the form of opinions.

For example, the phrase: “I think that memory development is very important both for Everyday life, and for professional activity“This is an opinion that expresses a person’s positive attitude towards developing and maintaining a good memory.

To convince a person to believe, first of all you need to find out what positions he occupies. The more information you gather about it, the better your chances of making a correct assessment. The more experienced you are in the field of audience analysis, the easier it will be to make your speech persuasive.

The attitudes of a person or group of people (audience) can be distributed on a scale, from openly hostile to extremely supportive.

Describe your audience as: having a negative attitude (people have a completely opposite point of view); not having on this occasion a clear opinion (listeners are neutral, they have no information); positive attitude (listeners share this point vision).

The difference of opinion can be represented in this way: hostility, disagreement, restrained disagreement, neither for nor against, restrained favor, favor, exceptional favor.

1. If the listeners completely and completely share your opinion, understand what you are talking about and agree with you in everything, then you need to adjust your goal and concentrate on a specific plan of action.

2. If you think your audience doesn't have a strong opinion on your topic, set the goal of persuading them to act by forming an opinion:

If you believe that your audience doesn't have a point of view because it's uninformed, then your first priority is to give them enough information to help them understand the point, and only then make compelling calls to action.
If the audience is neutral in relation to the subject, it means that it is capable of objective reasoning and can perceive reasonable arguments. Then your strategy is to present the best arguments available and back them up with the best information.
If you believe that those listening to you do not have a clear position because the subject is deeply indifferent to them, you must direct all efforts to move them from this indifferent position. When speaking to such an audience, you should not focus their attention on the information and use material that confirms the logical chain of your evidence, it is better to focus on motivation and address the needs of the listeners.

3. If you assume that people disagree with you, then the strategy should depend on whether the attitude is completely hostile or moderately negative:

If you assume that a person is aggressive towards your goal, it is definitely better to come from afar or set a less ambitious goal. global goal. It makes no sense to count on persuasive speech and a complete revolution in attitude and behavior after the first conversation. First, you need to change your attitude a little, “plant a seed”, make you think that your words have some importance. And later, when the idea settles in a person’s head and “takes root,” you can move forward.
If a person has a position of moderate disagreement, simply give him your reasons, hoping that their weight will force him to take your side. When talking with negative people, try to present the material clearly and objectively, so that those who slightly disagree will want to think about your proposal, and those who completely disagree will at least understand your point of view.

The power of motivation

Motivation, which initiates and guides behavior, often arises as a result of the use of incentives that have a certain value and significance.

The impact of an incentive is greatest when it is part of a meaningful goal and indicates a favorable reward-cost ratio. Imagine asking people to donate a few hours to participate in a charity program.

Most likely, the time you convince them to spend will not be perceived as an incentive reward, but as a cost. How to convince people? you can present this charitable work as a significant incentive that provides rewards.

For example, you can make the public feel the importance of the cause, feel socially responsible, people with a sense of civic duty, feel like noble helpers. Always show that the incentives and rewards outweigh the costs.

Use incentives that match people's basic needs, they work better. According to one popular theory of needs, people express a greater propensity to act when a stimulus offered by the speaker can satisfy an important unmet need of the listeners.

Correct manner and intonation of speech

Persuasiveness of speech and the ability to persuade presupposes the rhythmic and melodic structure of speech. Speech intonation consists of: sound strength, pitch, tempo, pauses and stress.

Disadvantages of intonation:

Monotony has a depressing effect even on a person who has the ability to listen and does not allow him to perceive even very interesting and useful information.
Too high a tone is annoying and unpleasant to the ear.
Too low a tone can cast doubt on what you are saying and convey your disinterest.

Try to use your voice to make your speech beautiful, expressive and emotionally rich. Fill your voice with optimistic notes. In this case, a slightly slower, measured and calm pace of speech is preferable. Between semantic segments and at the end of the sentence, clearly pause. And pronounce the words inside the segment and small sentences as one long word, together.

It’s never too late to start developing your voice and diction, but if you want to convince someone who knows you well, sometimes it’s better to speak in a tone that’s familiar to you, without experimenting. Otherwise, those around you may think that you are not telling the truth if you speak in a tone that is uncharacteristic for you.