What to do to be confident in yourself. Men are attracted to confident women

Behind faith in fate and supernatural forces often lies a banal lack of self-confidence. The desire for leadership is genetic, because at birth we were all first, but in later life everything happens completely differently. Sometimes we suddenly realize that not only are we not the leaders of the pack, but we are actually lagging behind. We are oppressed by thoughts of our own insignificance and, shaken by insecurity that comes from out of nowhere, we begin to give up.

How to increase self-confidence and stop being afraid? Excessive shyness is attractive only to girls of the 19th century, but not to men. Any male representative looks decent only if he behaves confidently in any situation. It's time to get rid of timidity and jitters, step over your complexes and enter the world of strong men.

A feeling of timidity occurs when a person finds himself in an unusual situation, also when changing his lifestyle, or encounters a barrier that seems insurmountable. Some anxiety in the face of difficulties is considered normal, but the inability to overcome them and the emergence of a persistent fear of problems is already a reason to worry.

Uncertainty can come from childhood or appear after a single unpleasant situation. The reasons that caused insecurity lie in low self-esteem, fear of being rejected or ridiculed, the expectation of being in an awkward position, increased control and demands on oneself.

Uncertainty can affect a person externally as well. Research from King's College London has shown that insecure people who feel like they can't handle something gain weight faster. True, such an effect is most characteristic not of men, but of the fair half.

How to become confident and stop being afraid?

It is impossible to overcome uncertainty by avoiding the causes of fear. Stop running from the battlefield, you need to turn your face and accept it. Impossible to learn to play musical instrument Without training, you also cannot become a boxing champion without entering the ring hundreds of times or be a highly qualified specialist without trial and error. It's never too late to stop being afraid. Approach a girl you like, talk to your publisher, speak in public, or strike up a conversation in a group. Training will develop the ability to withstand difficulties without treacherous trembling in the knees

Play sports. Even in business and science, the emotional advantage goes to the one who is stronger. Gym will give you not only good shape, proud posture and jock friends. Training will give you confidence in your abilities. A good option There will be a visit to martial arts. Uncertainty in life may not go away, but the fear of a fight will definitely go away. Panic fear of physical fights is even better treated by Fight Clubs (BC).

Ask yourself the question that tormented Dostoevsky’s Raskolnikov: “Am I a trembling creature or do I have the right?” Yes, the question is: are you capable of taking the life of another person? But not just like that, but for a very good reason. There can be many situations. Having met bandits, are you ready to defend your life and especially your loved ones to the end? And not yours, but theirs? Now think: such a person, ready to put his life on the line, can tremble in front of his boss or when communicating with a pretty girl?

Communicate more, it gives confidence. Especially if you're afraid of it. Visit interest clubs, accept invitations to parties, sign up for courses. Approach the girls and introduce yourself. They also want to communicate and “all that,” but it’s more difficult for them to take the initiative. Failures should not be perceived as a disaster. Perhaps she is simply not in the mood today or for a thousand other reasons that do not lie in you personally.

When going to an “exciting task,” come up with a cry for “attack” or sing encouraging songs. "Song about hares" is also suitable.

Increase your self-esteem. Any victory should be a reason for joy. Mark each step as another milestone achieved. There is no need to focus on yourself and your complexes: “I am short, tall, thin, fat, stupid, etc.”

In the morning in front of the mirror, use proven methods of suggestion to set the mood.

Start expressing your feelings. Don't be afraid to be misunderstood, speak and act if necessary.

Don't be afraid to make mistakes. No people are perfect and you are no exception. It is better to learn from your mistakes than to wait your whole life for others to make them. At least to look at the result or enjoy making a mistake.

You don't have to please all people. Learn to refuse if it goes against your interests. If you need to be a “bad guy,” be one, you can’t think about others all the time. Ask yourself the question: “What about me? Who will think of me? Reasonable egoism is useful.

Some people think that self-confidence is a genetic character trait. Either you are born confident or you are not. If you also have this opinion and lack self-confidence, then after reading this article you will have to admit that your opinion is wrong. Every person can develop self-confidence. By changing their thinking and behavior, every person can become a confident person. If you want to become a confident person, be sure to read this article.

Steps

Part 1

Work on the right mindset

Be proud of your strengths. If you want to become a confident person, then the first thing you need to do is think about what you already have. You may think that you are an ordinary person, no different from others. In addition, you may feel that other people are much better and more attractive than you. However, if you want to become a confident person, you need to change your thinking! Make a list of your positive personality traits. This could be the ability to listen well or having beautiful voice. These positive features may mean nothing to you. But in fact, you have a lot to be proud of.

If you like the idea of creating a list of positive aspects of your personality, try to keep this list with you at all times. Add to the list whenever you think, “Oh, right, I can do that too...” Whenever you feel depressed or feel like you’re worthless, look at the list, and you’ll definitely feel better.
Talk to a close friend about this. Ask him to name your strengths. Your friend may name character traits that, in your opinion, are not inherent in you. Remember, you know better from the outside!

Work on becoming an optimist. Of course, it is impossible to become an optimist quickly, just as it is impossible to build Rome in one day. However, this does not mean at all that you should not take on this matter. Develop your ability to look optimistically into the future. Optimism and confidence often go hand in hand. People who hope for a good future believe that something good will happen to them if they put in the necessary effort. Monitor your thinking by noticing how many negative thoughts you have throughout the day. Work on replacing one negative thought with at least three positive ones. With effort, you will soon see the world in a positive way.
- Next time you're hanging out with friends, tell them about the exciting things that are happening in your life or what you're looking forward to. You will notice that your friends' attitude towards you will improve. Your mood will also improve significantly.
Prepare yourself. If you are prepared for any situation - within reason, of course - you can become a confident person. If you are taking a math exam in the near future, make sure you have plenty of time to prepare. If you will be giving your presentation to classmates, practice until you have your presentation ready. If you're going to a party, you should pack necessary information associated with an upcoming event. For example, you should know who will be at the party, when it will start, and other important details. Thanks to this, you will not worry about what awaits you in the evening. Although it is impossible to be completely prepared for any given situation, which is part fun and part secret of life, preparation will certainly help you feel more confident.
- If you can say something interesting in a group of friends and contribute to the conversation, you will feel more confident than if you just sat and listened to others. Of course, you don’t need to talk all the time to feel like a confident person. However, try to talk often enough that you can see that you are making the conversation interesting.
- You can gain information to contribute to the conversation later by reading interesting articles, watching the news, or doing research on current events or topics that interest you. When chatting with friends, bring up a topic you've researched in Lately. You will feel confident because you own big amount information on the topic under discussion.
- If you have a certain information or skill, for example, you know how to make furniture or you can easily choose the right pair of shoes for High school prom, people can turn to you for help. You will become a more confident person if you help and benefit others.
Stop comparing yourself to other people. Focus all your attention on yourself and achieving your goals, instead of looking at your neighbor and complaining about how you're not as attractive/smart/confident as him. Be kind to yourself and focus on your dreams and goals. Be proud of yourself when you achieve your goal.

Get rid of sources of negativity. Unfortunately, it is impossible to get rid of everything that may make you feel sad. However, you can make an effort to surround yourself with positive people and situations. Listen to the following tips:

Part 2
Take action
1. Embrace the unknown. If you have problems with self-confidence, then, most likely, when you think about something new, you do not have interest. However, if you want to become a confident person, try doing something new for yourself. For example, try meeting new people at a party and tell them about yourself, join a dance club even if you don't know how to dance, or send your resume to a company where you can only dream of finding a job. The more time you spend doing something new, the more secure you will feel, knowing that you can handle any situation in life. Mentioned below are some tips that you can follow to embrace the unknown:
  - start small. Try starting a conversation with someone you see often but never interact with, such as the boy who sits next to you in math class or your neighbor;
  - Plan a trip to a new place, for example, visit a small town 80 km from your home. Make it a habit to visit new places and experience something new;
  - start studying foreign language. By doing something new, you will experience pleasure and feel more self-confidence.
2. Be willing to take risks. If a person is willing to take (reasonable) risks, they are more likely to learn something new and develop as a person. If you want to become a more confident person, don't limit yourself to something new to yourself, try doing something that causes you fear and confusion. Of course, taking risks won't always lead to great things. However, you can develop the habit of putting yourself in difficult situation and try to get out of it. By taking risks, you will expand the boundaries of what is possible for yourself, and will not be limited to things that are familiar to you. You will understand that you can do a lot.
  - Make it a goal to step out of your comfort zone at least once a day. Try talking to the person you like. Ask him out on a date.
  - If you are unhappy with your job but are afraid of losing it, try sending your resume to another company. Even if nothing comes of it, you won't have much to lose.
  - Learn to overcome fear when you experience it. You shouldn't bungee jump if you're afraid of heights. Try taking the elevator to top floor ten-story building and look out the window. This will help you understand that you can overcome what makes you afraid.
3. Spend time with people you feel good with. By enlisting the support of loved ones, you can become a confident person. If you spend a lot of time with people who support each other and are willing to help when needed, you will become a confident person. Spend as much time as possible with people who make you feel good around you.
  - Hanging out with confident people can be a big help for you. Instead of envying them, ask yourself, “What do they do differently, and how can I develop similar qualities?” You will find that confident people are not better than you, they just think about themselves in a positive way.
4. Do what you love. If you do what you love, you will be a happy and harmonious person. Thanks to this, you will become a confident person. If you do what you love, the creative side of your personality will improve, and you will notice significant changes in yourself, both in the workplace and in your interactions with other people. In addition, a hobby helps you find people with similar interests and gain their support, which is very important for your well-being.
  
  Work on your body language to reflect your confidence. Make sure your back is straight. Correct posture will make you feel more confident. If you slouch all the time, other people will think that you are unhappy with yourself and will view you as someone who lacks self-confidence. Instead, keep your back straight and your shoulders back.
5. Watch your appearance. If you take enough time to take care of your appearance, very soon you will begin to perceive yourself differently, appreciating your strengths. If you want to become a confident person, follow the rules of personal hygiene: take a shower daily, comb your hair and keep your clothes clean and tidy. If you don't take care of your appearance, others will see that you don't spend enough time taking care of yourself and this will affect how they treat you.
  
  Part 3
  Improve yourself
  1. Learn from mistakes. Confident people do not always achieve success in everything. When faced with failure, they do not give up, but continue on their way. They learn from their mistakes, learning valuable lessons that will help them in the future. Next time you get a bad grade on test work in math, fail a job interview, get rejected when asking the person you like on a date, don’t give up. Try to learn valuable lessons from current negative situations. Of course, sometimes life gives us unpleasant surprises and each of us can become a victim of bad luck. However, do your best to correct the situation and succeed next time.
    - Many people are familiar with the phrase: “If it doesn’t work out the first time, then...”. This is actually a true statement. Think about how boring life would be if you had everything going for you. Instead, view failure as an opportunity to achieve your goal next time.
    - It is important to admit your mistake and accept the unpleasant consequences associated with it.
  2. Play sports. Of course, after just one exercise session you are unlikely to experience the full health benefits. However, if you do physical exercise at least 30 minutes every day or several times a week, you will feel better. Exercise stimulates the production of endorphins, which makes a person feel happy and satisfied, and also has a beneficial effect on his physical state health. It's a win-win. Exercise when it suits you and you will become a confident person.
    - Think about how exercise provides an opportunity to step out of your comfort zone and try something new. You may feel nervous at the thought of taking a yoga or Zumba class, but trust me, once you attend your first class, you will realize that your fears were unfounded.
    - You just need to be yourself. Don't let anyone force you to be different, that's the only way you can truly be a confident person.
    - Remember, within every person there is hidden potential. Tap into your best self by setting goals for yourself. Success is the true key to self-confidence.
    - Walk with your head held high, keep your shoulders back and look straight ahead.
    - Every night before going to bed, praise yourself and say nice words to yourself.
    - Strive to have a good relationship with other people. Don't offend people because it can backfire on you and cause you to lose self-confidence. Don't be rude.
    - Do everything you can to make a good impression on people you know and strangers.

Do you want to become confident? If you adhere to these rules, you will not recognize yourself.

Stick to these simple rules and you won’t recognize yourself!

From you confidence will emit rays, and others will be drawn to you!

Because weak people always reach out to the strong!

So let's get started!

1. How to become confident?

The very first thing you need to do is stop comparing yourself to other people once and for all!

You are an individual, you are a personality - and there are no more people like you and there will never be on this planet!

Finally, be yourself!

If you play the “Comparisons” game, you will very often be a loser, since there will always be those people who will be better than you, who will be ahead!

There is one simple truth in human psychology - not a single person compares himself with someone who is worse than him!

Always be yourself and make your own confidence only in your own power!

2. Self-confidence is, first of all, believing in yourself!

Always live YOUR life!

Understand that when you live someone else's life, while following other people's ideas and ideals - you will never be able to feel and know yourself completely, you will not be able to respect yourself!

Never expect any approval from others - always do what will benefit you, what you think is necessary!

3. Your confidence lies in communicating with positive people!

It has been known since time immemorial that, first of all, confident man loves and respects himself, and extends this same love to the people around him - and this, in turn, is a powerful support for them!

Always try to communicate with positive, optimistic and strong people!

Remember - those people who sow negativity around themselves will always drag you down with them!

Negativity and pessimism will always suppress your desires, impulses, aspirations, it will kill all your ideas!

And you yourself, without realizing it, will gradually turn into the same!

4. How to become confident? Stop criticizing yourself!

Always remember - any of your thoughts will materialize!

A lot of people have the unfortunate habit of blaming themselves for everything!

For example, have you ever uttered the following phrases: “Something is going wrong in my life!”, “This could only happen to me,” “I always attract trouble,” “I’m always late,” etc. d.

All these phrases contribute to the formation of a negative perception of oneself!

Never say such words again, hear!

Never think negatively about yourself!

Don't throw criticism your way - it will destroy you!

5. The key to self-confidence is your daily achievements!

My dears, do not be lazy to keep yourself a diary of your daily victories!

For example:

“Today I read 30 pages of the book “Live Easy” by Andrew Matthews, or “Finally, I wasn’t lazy this morning and went for a run before work, I’m great!” , or “I learned 6 today, it’s so cool,” etc.

Let your diary always be at your fingertips so that you can view your achievements - which will always keep you on your toes and add strength to you! 🙂

6. Sweep problems away from yourself like nasty flies!

Confidence will only come to that person who will not let everything pass through himself, but will relate to different situations more simply!

Let's think about it...

Many people love to make a huge elephant from a fly!

They like to screw themselves up to such an extent that sometimes it even becomes funny!

Very often, your problem may not be as big and complex as you imagine it to be!

It’s just that your constant thinking about it brings it to the size of the Apocalypse :)

If you still don’t want to quit your job, then at least your free time dedicate yourself to your favorite activity and who knows - maybe it will bring you colossal success in the future! 🙂

10. The key to self-confidence is the ability to speak firmly and confidently!

Remember, words always have powerful power!

The character of a person can be immediately determined by his spoken words!

Never throw your words to the wind!

Don’t answer anyone harshly, speak clearly, calmly and confidently – and people will begin to treat you differently!

I wish everyone the same iron-clad self-confidence as in this video!!!

Be sure to check it out :)

11. Confident people always write a list of their positive qualities.

Every person on this

The planet has its own unique abilities, skills, features!

Sincerity, honesty, kindness, responsiveness...

Look at your list more often, learn to focus on your positive qualities- and yours will come to you Confidence!

12. Try to use your weaknesses - for your own benefit!

How to do it?

Don't blame yourself for any shortcomings!

Every person has shortcomings, even worse than yours!

From our own weaknesses It will be much easier for you to get rid of them if you try to optimize them as much as possible!

For example, twist your curiosity into such a quality as inquisitiveness; your stubbornness - in!

13. Accept compliments in your direction with gratitude.

Useful article? Don't miss new ones!
Enter your email and receive new articles by email

Not all girls have self-confidence, which often results in difficulties for them in their careers and personal lives. Is there a way to acquire this quality if it has not been instilled since childhood?

Signs of an insecure person

special attention

If you notice any of these signs in yourself, then you probably need to reconsider your attitude towards yourself. Doubts that periodically overcome you interfere with a full life. However good news the fact is that you can get rid of them!

How to learn to be more confident

1. You should find a hobby or activity in which you can achieve good results. Think about what you are predisposed to and do it. Perhaps as a child you were good at drawing, sewing or dancing. Get back to this activity! A person who is successful in some area of life (hobby or work) is more confident in himself. 2. Don't ignore problems that you could have solved long ago if it weren't for your insecurities. Would you like to go to the dentist for a long time, but are you embarrassed, causing the problem to worsen? You definitely need to talk to someone unpleasant person, but are you trying in every possible way to delay this moment? There can be many such examples. Until you solve the problem that has arisen, it will remain in your thoughts, and, therefore, in your life. Overcome your fear and the problem will remain in the breach. Many difficulties are solved in minutes, but instead you spend weeks and months worrying. 3. Don't be afraid to speak your mind. People around you may treat you completely differently than you expect, solely because they are unaware of your sincere expectations. Don't be shy about saying out loud what you want from other people. Pre-formulate a thought in your head, say it to yourself several times, and then confidently and calmly voice it. 4. Handle shocks with grace. Having experienced the betrayal of a loved one, faced with an illness or some kind of insult, do not give up, but try to analyze the situation. Such shocks are not a reason for depression, but for becoming stronger in the face of life's adversities. 5. Forget about feeling sorry for yourself. You should love yourself, but you shouldn't feel sorry. This feeling does not help improve self-esteem at all. If any trouble has happened to you, there is no need to lament your difficult fate, crawling even deeper under your “shell”. Sometimes indignation and anger at how absurdly you find yourself in such a situation can be much more useful and productive. 6. Take care of your appearance. It has long been no secret to anyone that what better woman looks, the more confident she feels. You've probably noticed more than once that after getting a good hairstyle or buying something new that suits you, you feel different. If such successful innovations in your appearance occur regularly, this will undoubtedly have a positive impact on your self-esteem. 7. Circle of friends. Note that the wider your social circle, the better for you. Frequent communication with the opposite sex will have a positive impact on your personal life. Regularly in many cities, and perhaps in yours, events are held where you can meet other people - exciting excursions, trainings and master classes.

How to become a more determined and calm woman

A calm and confident woman often evokes only respect and admiration. Is it easy to become such a woman? Fighting negativity. You should not give in to negative emotions. Suppress the habit of criticizing other people and getting irritated by their attitude towards you. Think about what makes offenders act one way or another, what deep motives they actually pursue. Talk openly and calmly with the person who is causing you a negative reaction - find out what exactly he is trying to achieve. If possible, you should keep your meetings to a minimum. Stop being offended. Perhaps resentment is one of the most unconstructive feelings that are characteristic of children, but very strange for adults. In response to some action that offended you, you should not withdraw into yourself and move away from the person - explain to him that you were hurt by his action. Give reasons for this. Learn to build a dialogue, conveying your desires through it. Control your emotions. If you feel like you're on edge and having a hard time managing your emotions, mentally collect your thoughts. If this is appropriate, you should simply leave the conflict zone by telling the person calmly and without offense: “Let's come back to this conversation later. I have to go now". If we're talking about about an impending quarrel with a stranger, then also try to end the conversation as soon as possible. Be calm. Even if you are overcome by millions of thoughts, doubts or indignation inside, try not to show it outwardly. Breathe evenly, using your diaphragm. Inhale slowly and exhale over a few minutes. Step back and take a few deep breaths. Concentrate not on negative emotions, but on your breathing.

Take a break. If something upsets or angers you, then find an opportunity to distract yourself from it. Use the example of Jane Eyre, and tell yourself that you will think about it tomorrow, or at least a little later. In the meantime, do something more enjoyable for yourself - call to a loved one, with whom you enjoy communicating, take a look good film, go to a concert and the like. Do some sports. Many women and men who play sports are much better at handling their negative emotions. This is not surprising because During training on exercise machines, wrestling, swimming or fitness, tension is significantly relieved.

When to be bold or self-confident

Of course, it’s great if you have become a calm and reasonable girl, but often this is not enough for self-confidence. Sometimes you need to demonstrate to others that you are capable of insolence. Don't confuse it with hysteria! So when is it appropriate? 1 - Insult. If someone is clearly trying to hurt you, then you need to make it clear to the offender that you do not intend to tolerate it. Learn to take a blow and respond to overt rudeness in the same vein. Of course, you shouldn’t descend into “bazaar showdowns”; it is advisable to be able to put a person in his place with one or two phrases, like: “It’s none of your business,” “Your behavior is tactless,” and the like. 2 - Disrespect. When a salesperson deliberately ignores you, when friends or family are clearly taking advantage of you, or when other similar situations of disrespect for you occur, you may well be insolent by once calmly and firmly expressing what you think about the person. If this does not bring results, start avoiding communication with him. 3 - Game. Boldness and self-confidence can be used in completely harmless forms. It could be a playful conversation with your lover - both you and he understand that this is just flirtatiousness, and you both like it.

What is the difference between arrogance and confidence?

What can be called arrogance? Perhaps this is a violation of established norms of behavior for the sake of one’s own benefit. Let us determine the signs by which one can distinguish arrogant behavior from confident one.

Behavior of arrogant people

Ignoring established norms of behavior. An example would be climbing to the cash register window without waiting in line, borrowing some things without asking their owner, and the like. No shame. An arrogant person does not care what anyone else thinks about him. He acts in a way that is beneficial to him, without regard to other people’s opinions. Tactlessness. Arrogant people almost always have own opinion on this or that situation, which they are ready to express even against the will of other people. Own interests at any cost. If they need something, they will do everything they can to achieve it, without having “anything sacred.” They may ignore the fact that their actions cause significant harm to other people, even if they are children or elderly people.

I'll be bolder - I'll become strong

In fact, by resorting to arrogant behavior, you can quickly gain some benefit, but later it can turn against you. The reputation of an arrogant person does not make anyone happy - such people cause irritation and a repulsive impression. Arrogance has nothing to do with self-confidence, because the latter is usually based on self-esteem, which is unnatural for arrogance.

What psychologists say

school years

cosmetic procedures

good quality

Self-confidence gives you many advantages. It will help you do your job better, get recognition and appreciation for it, and also achieve promotions and salary increases. It will also help you attract the attention of the opposite sex. Simply put: it will help you get what you want in life.

On the other hand, shyness and lack of self-confidence can seriously hinder your efforts and prevent you from getting what you want (and deserve). That's why we decided to dedicate an entire article to helping you become more confident. But you should not forget that this is a rather complex process. You can't transform into a confident person overnight.

Uncertainty has ruined so many opportunities.
Erich Maria Remarque

12 ways a woman can become self-confident

The 12 methods listed below work more effectively if used consistently and in combination. Self-confidence is not an innate quality. It's just a habit. And while we know it will take a lot of time and energy to create this habit, the good news is that it is possible at all. Everything depends on you.

1. Use positive affirmations

To feel more confident, you can use positive affirmations - positive statements designed to reprogram the mind. This includes statements such as: “I am worthy,” “I am a natural leader,” “Everyone loves me,” and the like. There are several ways to apply this method. You can write down your mantra somewhere and repeat it to yourself every morning or evening before going to bed.

You can write positive affirmations on a piece of paper and place it somewhere you can see it (on the wall or on the refrigerator), or you can write them directly on the mirror with a marker. This is exactly what I do. When I wash my face in the morning, I have no choice but to look at these inscriptions. I have another interesting thought about how to make positive affirmations a part of your life. I already mentioned this in the addition to the previous article.

2. Fake confidence until you really are.

When people act confidently around others, they begin to feel more confident in themselves. This is one of the most amazing rules of our life. If you want to get something, act as if you already have it. One of the features of how our minds work: the more familiar the idea, the more real it is. How can you make it habitual? Through constant repetition!

The more you do and say something, the more you believe it. If you want to be more confident, behave like confident people behave! It will feel a little strange at first, but don't let yourself be deterred. Time will pass, and you will notice that your behavior has become completely natural.

3. Dress smart

If you lack confidence, the easiest way to increase it is by dressing like a successful person. If you are perceived as someone important, you will begin to feel like one! Elegant appearance is a universally recognized status symbol, so no matter what country you are in, you should always look impeccable. Things like suits, shirts, good shoes, various accessories and gadgets all add confidence to a person.

4. Speak loudly

The way you speak and how you control your voice is directly related to your sense of self-confidence. Shy people tend to speak rather quietly. They don't want to attract attention with a loud voice. You may have noticed this yourself in various meetings. There is always one person who speaks loudest, acts very confidently, sometimes even a little arrogantly. He doesn't care much what others think.

There are other people who say little; they stand quietly, and even if they are asked a question, they answer in such a way that they can only be heard with great difficulty. Next time you speak at a meeting, project your voice, speak up. You will see for yourself the impact this has on your self-confidence.

5. Sit in the front row

Where do you usually sit at large events? Are you in a rush to grab a front row seat or would you rather sit in the back? I often choose the second option, like many other people. The reason is that we don't want to draw attention to ourselves. We prefer to hide in the back rows so as not to risk being pulled onto the stage and to avoid having to answer questions.
But let me ask you something. Who usually sits in the front row at all official meetings? Who sits in the front row during fashion shows? After all, most often these are the most important people among those invited.

When you sit in the front row, you place yourself among these people. You let others know that you are one of the most important people, so they treat you as such. You will also notice that you yourself begin to behave differently. In this way, you put yourself at the center of attention - outside of your usual comfort zone. All attention is on you. You have no choice but to feel confident. When faced with a situation where there is no alternative, we adapt surprisingly quickly.

In this life you only need ignorance and self-confidence - and success is guaranteed to you.
Mark Twain

6. Body language

A confident person can be identified by the way he carries himself. Such people have good posture. They keep their heads straight. They look into the eyes of other people and keep an open mind. When a person feels uncomfortable, suffering or down, he tends to close himself off from others. And not only emotionally, but also physically.

We try to make ourselves as small as possible so that people don't notice us. We try to curl up, thereby reducing our exposure surface. This behavior shows a lack of confidence. You can achieve increased self-confidence if you use the “body language” inherent to a person who feels confident. There are many articles on this topic, some of them can be found on our website.

7. Take care of yourself

Quite often, self-doubt is a direct consequence of the fact that for some reason we feel awkward. It can be overweight that we would like to hide. Or we don't like our clothes. Maybe the hairstyle is not fashionable. Or the skin is chapped. Or no makeup. There can be many reasons. Look at fashion models or other celebrities. They always feel beautiful, sexy and attractive. And it boosts their self-confidence!

Do the same for yourself. Change your hairstyle. Tidy up your nails. Update your wardrobe. Start exercising to become more alert. When you feel comfortable in your body, you will begin to project good mood on other people.

8. Play to your strengths

If you constantly think about your shortcomings, sooner or later you will lose most of your confidence. If you fail at so many things and make so many mistakes, then where does confidence come from? Instead of focusing on things you can't do, use your strengths. You may be a natural speaker, an excellent cook, or a super-gifted businessman. Carefully examine all areas of your life. This will help you believe in yourself and increase your self-esteem.

Imagine someone telling you that you look great. What is your answer to this? Are you familiar with phrases such as: “Oh, that’s an old dress” or “You know, I’m not feeling very well today”? What do you usually say when you receive a compliment? It's rare to find people who know how to accept compliments.

We rarely say just “thank you”, without any “buts”. But think for yourself. After all, if someone takes the time to tell you something nice, then they really mean it. Why can't you just accept good words? Why do most of us tend to downplay our accomplishments? If you have done something good, put it on your record. After all, you deserve it! Allow yourself to believe all the good things people say about you. This is the easiest and least expensive way to boost your confidence.

In many cultures (including mine), it is considered not very polite if you simply accept a compliment. This is perceived as rudeness and arrogance. So for people coming from such cultures, this task is more difficult. Still, it's worth a try.

Self-confidence is sometimes a big stupidity. Only fools have no doubts.
Benicio Del Toro

10. Avoid perfectionism

If you strive for perfection in everything, you will often be disappointed. Being a perfect person is very difficult (if not impossible). You can always be better and faster, you can always do more. Stop trying to do everything and be perfect at everything. Recognize that good doesn't have to be perfect. And you don't have to be perfect either. , as a rule, low self-esteem because they criticize themselves all the time.

Take a look at some of the confident people around you. Are they perfect? Treat yourself fairer and be more tolerant of your mistakes and shortcomings. They don't rob you of your talents and strengths.

11. Appreciate what you have already achieved

Our confidence largely depends on how much we believe in our success. If you don't see anything good in your life, your self-confidence is likely to be low. How can you believe that you are a successful person?

No matter what position you are in right now, it's safe to say that you've had a lot more accomplishments in your life than you think. We tend to look to the future and always compare ourselves to an imagined, perfect model of the person we would like to be. Or with the model that we need to achieve our goals.

You are looking into a future where the ideal person you have imagined has a lot of money, is happy and has a beautiful home. Then you come back to the present and become depressed and start to feel like a failure for being so far from your dreams. However, we often forget how much we have already come and what we have achieved. We rarely look into the past to remember who we were a few years ago and compare with who we have become.

12. Set small goals for the near future.

There is another method that allows you to strengthen faith in your strength to achieve success. This method boils down to setting yourself small, easy achievable goals. If you've been working on a big, complex task for the past few months, it's likely that at some point you'll feel very insecure. The reason is that for quite a long time you fail to achieve your goal, to get what you want.

A great way to deal with this problem is to set smaller goals that represent steps along the way to solving one big task. With this approach, each goal achieved helps you regain your self-confidence and self-confidence. The next time your boss approves of an idea, consider it a success. A nice guy/man asks for your phone number for further communication? Have a party! Have you finished everything you had to do today? Congratulate yourself! Fill your life with small joys, and in return they will make you feel like a successful person.

Your turn

What do you do when you need a confidence boost? Which methods work best for you? Join the discussion in the comments.
If you liked this article, like it and share it with your friends on social networks.