The magic of numbers. “Why do you dream about a holiday in a dream? If you see a Holiday in a dream, what does it mean?

Ostrovsky Alexander Nikolaevich

Holiday dream- before lunch

Pictures from Moscow life

Pavla Petrovna Balzaminova, widow.

Mikhailo Dmitrich Balzaminov, her son, an official, 25 years old.

Cleopatra Ivanovna Nichkina, widow, merchant's wife, 35 years old.

Kapochka (Capitolina), her daughter, 17 years old.

Ustinka, Kapochka’s friend, merchant’s daughter, 20 years old.

Akulina Gavrilovna Krasavina, matchmaker.

Neil Borisych Neuedenov, merchant, brother of Nichkina, 40 years old.

Yusha (Efim), his son, 13 years old.

Matryona, cook at the Balzaminovs.

Malanya, Nichkina's maid.

* * * *

Scene one

Poor room; to the right is a door, by the door there is an old clock; there is a tiled stove straight ahead, with a cupboard on one side and a door to the kitchen on the other; to the left is a chest of drawers with a dressing mirror on it; There is a window in the foreground, a table by the window.

First appearance

Balzaminova (alone, sitting with a stocking in her hands). Misha! Misha! What are you doing there in the kitchen?

Balsam from the kitchen: “Don’t interfere, mummy! Matryona is curling me!”

Everything curls! Everything curls! I’m already very busy with my beauty. Eh, young, green! He wants to create all his own happiness, to seduce someone. But I think so, he will not deceive anyone; My mind is painfully bad. The other one, with an unprepossessing appearance, will get around with words, but mine doesn’t know smart words at all. Yes Yes! I really feel sorry for him. If he had known smart words, he could have won a lot on our side: the side is deaf, the people are dark. And he doesn’t know any smart words. And there’s nowhere to get enough. At least I could write it out from poetry or something. ( After thinking). And it’s a wonder what happened! Who was he born so blond as? Another problem: blond hair is not in fashion these days. Well, and the nose... it’s not that it’s snub-nosed at all, but somehow it’s so small, something is missing. But you want to be liked, especially if it were a rich bride. Well, the poor guy really is trying his best. Who is your own enemy? Our side is like this, there are a lot of rich brides, but they are stupid. Maybe Misha will be lucky because of their stupidity. God really offended him with his little mind.

Balzaminov shouts from the kitchen: “Mommy, I want to curl my hair a la polka!”

Stupid, stupid! Why are you curling your hair? You just ruffle your hair and burn it, everyone is looking separately. It suits you better, more naturally! Oh, Misha, Misha! You are dear to me, I wouldn’t trade you for anyone; will others somehow like you, especially the rich? I really can’t believe it! In my eyes, it would be better if you didn’t exist, but others are picky these days. They will talk to you, and they will see that you are not smart enough. And who is to blame for this? ( Sighs). My stupid one! But maybe he will be happy. They say that God gives happiness to such people. ( Knits a stocking).

Balzaminov runs in from the kitchen in a dressing gown.

Second phenomenon

Balzaminov, Balzaminova and Matryona.

Balzaminov (holding your head). Ear, ear! Fathers, ear!

Matryona (at the door; with forceps). I’m not a polytechnician, what can you take from me!

Balzaminov. But I asked you to curl your hair, not your ears.

Matryona. Why did you grow big ones! Ying would go to the polyhmachter; and what to take from me! ( Leaves).

Balzaminov. Fathers, what should I do? ( Matches the mirror). Ah ah ah! Everything has turned black!.. It’s so painful, there’s no need to cover it with hair so that it’s not visible.

Balzaminova. Get to work!

Balzaminov. What a hit! So, with hot tongs, I grabbed the whole ear... Oh, oh, oh! Mama! Even before the fever... Oh, fathers!

Balzaminova. I say, Misha, it's up to you. Why curl! What good! Just like a barber; Yes, and a sin. No matter how you curl your hair, you won’t get any better.

Balzaminov. How you, Mama, don’t wish me happiness, I don’t understand. How do we live? We're just poor.

Balzaminova. So what! Why spoil your hair?..

Balzaminov. Yes, today is a holiday.

Balzaminova. So what's the holiday?

Balzaminov. Like what? Here is the merchant side; maybe such a case will arise... Suddenly...

Balzaminova. All you have on your mind is nonsense.

Balzaminov. What nonsense?

Balzaminova. Of course, nonsense. Is it good? You’ll ruffle your hair, and you’ll end up walking past rich merchants under their windows. Somehow you'll get into trouble. Another jealous husband or the father will send the janitor with a broom.

Balzaminov. Well, what is it? Well, he will send it; you can run away.

Balzaminova. There's no need to wander around.

Balzaminov. Why not? Is it better to live in poverty? Well, I go through a year, well, two, well, three, well, five - after all, time is also ticking for me - but suddenly...

Balzaminova. It would be better if you served well.

Balzaminov. What to serve! How long will I serve? And then suddenly you hook a million.

Balzaminova. A million?

Balzaminov. What is this! Nothing happens. You yourself said that I was born in a shirt.

Silence.

Oh, mamma, you won’t believe how much I want to be rich, I dream and see it. It seems... eh... it would explode! I really want it, I really want it!

Balzaminova. What a bad thing!

Balzaminov. After all, the other one is rich, but what’s the use: he doesn’t know how to manage money, it’s even annoying to look at.

Balzaminova. Can you?

Balzaminov. Yes, of course I can. Mama, I have a lot of taste. I know what suits me. ( Runs up to the window). Mama, mamma, look!

Balzaminova. It's very necessary!

Balzaminov. What a ride! All velvet! ( Sits by the window, hanging his head). If someone like that fell in love with me and married me, what would I do!

Balzaminova. And what?

Balzaminov. But: firstly, I would sew myself a blue cloak with a black velvet lining. You just have to imagine, mummy, how blue suits me! I would buy myself a gray horse and a racing droshky and drive along Zatsepa, Mama, and drive it myself...

Balzaminova. It's all nonsense.

Balzaminov. Yes, I forgot to tell you what kind of dream I had! So figure it out.

Why do you dream about a holiday? Such a symbol in a dream usually carries a positive message: meeting with friends, fulfilling desires, family happiness, luck. But the dream book sometimes gives not so rosy interpretations: conflicts in the team, dissatisfaction with one’s work, scandals.

Interpretation according to Miller's dream book

Did you dream of going to a noisy festival and having fun? A waking dreamer can neglect the realities of life, more than once. This is fraught with trouble.

What a celebration it was

For correct interpretation sleep, it’s important what kind of holiday it was:

• family, among relatives - a quarrel between relatives;
• for children - worries over trifles;
• a banquet at home - the favor of friends, joy, prosperity;
• a fun party is a symbol of pleasant life changes;
• masquerade - frivolous hobbies or empty promises will confuse you;
• stranger - financial difficulties lie ahead.

Pleasant meetings, receiving money

Why do you dream about joyful, lively preparations for the holiday? The dreamer will unexpectedly receive a lot of money.

Dreamed preparation foreshadows, according to the dream book, meetings with old friends, a good time, and positivity.

Seeing preparations in a dream promises joyful events and pleasant excitement in reality.

Express yourself more boldly

What do you dream about preparing for, organizing a holiday? The dream book informs you: you need to use your skills more boldly and decisively. You may have to learn something new, but you will be pleased with the results.

A dream about graduation at school promises: something positive and exciting will happen very soon.

Getting ready to take part in the holiday means joyful events are coming. Getting together with friends to attend an event means pleasant entertainment awaits, which will even bring profit.

Family happiness, support from friends

In addition, going there in a dream foretells happiness in marriage. The sleeping person will succeed a strong family children will take good care of him.

Going to a special event means your cherished wish will come true or you will receive good news.

A holiday at home in a dream, where family and many guests have gathered, according to the dream book, means: friends will never betray you, they will always support you.

Blessing from above

Why do Christians dream? religious holiday? The dream book informs: to come a big joy, which the dreamer does not immediately recognize due to the bustle of everyday life.

Easter in a dream promises recovery not only physical, but also moral, internal renewal, as well as insight, understanding information in a new way.

Dreaming of Savior - Honey, Apple, Nut, means: in difficult circumstances, receive help, salvation.

A religious holiday in a dream, when many people come from the church in a procession, and you also participate - an unexpected, surprising turn of events.

Joy, good health

A big holiday, where there are a lot of people - despite the machinations of spiteful critics, save a good relationship with friends. Walk, sing - have a fun time.

Why do you dream about a holiday on the street? The dream often foreshadows happy marriage with a loved man. Procession on the street - improvement of well-being. Seeing fireworks is a harbinger of pleasure and good health.

Unfavorable interpretations

However, taking part in noisy festivities where there were riots on the street means dissatisfaction with the results of one’s labor.

A corporate holiday at work in a dream means: disagreements and conflicts will arise in the team.

The dream book interprets the received invitation to a certain celebration as not auspicious sign. The sleeper will become the main character of some big scandal.

A holiday where you saw a deceased person (relative, friend) is a warning. Difficulties will arise under seemingly ordinary circumstances.

Fulfillment of desires, harmony of love relationships

Why do you dream about celebrating a birthday? Receive good news or something you have long dreamed of will come true.

A birthday and a cake decorated with burning holiday candles in a dream? The dream book promises the fulfillment of some desire.

Did you dream of being at a carnival? The dream book informs: a love adventure awaits or great holiday with a loved man. Dancing is about enjoying each other's company.

Being at the celebration of March 8 promises a woman a pleasant surprise from her lover and a good time.

Other meanings

Celebration of a state holiday - you can express yourself in social activities or politics.

Did you dream about New Year? The dream book promises big life changes. Joy, fun when celebrating the New Year - good luck awaits.

However, the New Year's masquerade with costumes warns: the sleeper's opinion of those around him is wrong. In reality, take a closer look at those you saw in your dreams.

Sleeping when everyone around you is celebrating and having fun - in reality you are very tired, even pleasure does not bring joy. Need a long rest.

Leaving before the end of the holiday - obstacles that arise will force you to change plans.

To correctly determine what a holiday is about in a dream, you need to remember your dream in the smallest details and look in the dream book. Usually such dreams represent pleasant events, but sometimes they also reflect your inner world.

Feast for the whole world

A bright, noisy holiday, with many people, a luxurious feast and fun, dreams of the implementation of a grandiose plan. Perhaps you will make it come true new project, build a house, buy a car, etc.

Children's party with animators, balloons and holiday caps appear in a dream, when the dreamer experiences a strong desire to escape from worries and relax, without thinking about anything. Psychologists advise not to hesitate and to have a good rest.

As the dream book writes, a holiday with few people is a dream of happiness in your personal life. Even if now love front If you are experiencing a lull, then soon everything will work out, and you will plunge headlong into a new romantic relationship.

• Fun on large area- to significant changes.
• A feast in the village means an unexpected proposal.
• You are celebrating in an unfamiliar company - to a misunderstanding.

If you dreamed of a church holiday (Christmas, Easter, St. Nicholas Day, etc.), then the dream book advises you to pay more attention to your state of mind. You may be too worried or nervous right now. Try not to take problems to heart, but calmly find a way out of the current situation.

Why do you dream about a holiday that you dreamed of going to, but were not invited? The dream book explains such dreams as a lack of attention on the part of the person you like. If you like someone but they don't know it, try to explain to them how you feel.

A feast attended by your friends indicates that you have unfinished business. The Dream Interpretation recommends not delaying their decision. Otherwise, you may suffer losses.

Church holiday in which you are taking Active participation, the dream book interprets as a call to action. If you have a backlog of unresolved issues, now is the time to fix the situation. Experts believe that you will definitely succeed.

• Taking part in a feast is good news.
• Standing during a holiday means surprising others.
• Be an animator on children's party– you will have to agree with someone else’s opinion.

According to the dream book, coming to your family for a holiday means regretting an action you have committed. If you can fix something, somehow influence the situation, act. But if nothing can be changed, do not “gnaw” yourself and accept what is happening as a fact.

When you dreamed of a holiday to which you came uninvited and didn’t know anyone there, this is a sign that you are doing a useless task. The dream book recommends thinking about whether it is worth wasting your energy.

If in a dream there are a lot of people around you at a holiday and you cannot get out of the crowd, then real world expect a difficult task from your superiors. When you complete it, you will receive a worthy financial reward and recognition from your colleagues.

In order to accurately determine what the holiday is about in your dreams, you must not miss a single nuance of your dream. To do this, immediately after waking up, take a piece of paper and write down on it everything that you dreamed about in your night dreams.

Why do you dream about a holiday?

Miller's Dream Book

Seeing a holiday in a dream means that pleasant surprises await you.

If there is a mess at the holiday, this portends quarrels or misfortunes due to someone's negligence.

Being late for the celebration means that hectic days await you ahead.

Most often, if you dream that you are participating in a noisy festival, in reality you may more than once neglect the cruel realities of life. This dream also foretells that you will never want to depend on others for anything.

Why do you dream about a holiday?

Dream Interpretation of Hasse

Celebrate – Joy.

Why do you dream about a holiday?

Family dream book

A holiday in a dream is a harbinger of pleasant surprises.

Disorder at a holiday portends quarrels due to someone's negligence.

If in a dream you were late for a holiday, in reality you will have to worry about something.

A dream in which you participate in a noisy celebration characterizes you as an independent person.

Why do you dream about a holiday?

Dream Interpretation of Dmitry and Nadezhda Zima

Seeing yourself in a dream at a holiday at a rich table is a favorable sign that promises you good luck and excellent relationships with others.

At the same time, eating or drinking at a holiday is not very good sign. Often such dreams suggest that in reality you are experiencing difficulties.

If something disturbs you at a holiday and overshadows the fun, such a dream foreshadows disappointments and conflicts with loved ones and friends.

Seeing a festively dressed crowd is a harbinger of bustle and pleasant troubles in your life.

A festive masquerade in a dream is a sign of frivolous hobbies and empty promises that can confuse you.

Why do you dream about a holiday?

Dream Interpretation from A to Z

If in a dream you are joyfully and animatedly preparing for a holiday, this means unexpectedly receiving a lot of money.

Invite to family celebration many guests - portends confusion and differences of opinion on fundamental issues.

Spending all the holidays at a party - in reality you will be provided with a service that will cost you dearly.

If, in the midst of a holiday, your mood is spoiled so much that you are even brought to tears, this will lead to annoying losses and an unpleasant showdown.

Dancing and having fun at the holiday until you drop means a favorable turn in your affairs of the heart.

A holiday marred by a drunken brawl foretells trouble at work.

A dream in which you celebrate Christmas or New Year - to wonderful prospects that will turn into a prosperous and happy family life. The holiday of Maslenitsa means that you will receive forgiveness and mercy; Easter means spiritual grace, unclouded mutual love for loved ones, good health.

Why do you dream about a holiday?

Dream Interpretation of Simon Kananita

Celebrate – Joy

Why do you dream about a holiday?

Esoteric dream book

The dream takes place on the day of celebration of a state, international date - you are given the opportunity to express yourself in public and political activity. Good luck getting into higher education educational establishments, Related international relations, for example MGIMO. The same thing, but on a church holiday - sources of spiritual energies are revealed to you. You will be lucky in the humanitarian field. On the eve of some dates or about the beginning of the conversation, you need to be prepared to reveal some extraordinary abilities. At other times, you urgently need to think about your calling or help your loved ones in this.

Why do you dream about a holiday?

Dream interpretation of a modern woman

Seeing a holiday in a dream means pleasant surprises.

If the holiday ends in unrest, this portends quarrels or misfortunes due to someone's negligence.

Being late for the festival means anxious and restless days ahead.

If you dream that you are taking part in a noisy celebration, in reality you often neglect the so-called cruel reality. This dream also means that you are avoiding dependence on other people.

Why do you dream about a holiday?

Modern dream book

If you dream that you are at a festival - in real life You will be indifferent to the true values ​​of life and will begin to appreciate those pleasures that will age you before your time. Despite your own will, you will be heavily dependent on other people.

Why do you dream about a holiday?

Dream Interpretation of Catherine the Great

Holiday - You see some kind of holiday in a dream - a pleasant surprise will be the reason for your Have a good mood. It’s as if you were late for the holiday - the coming days will be full of troubles. During the holiday, you are almost the central figure - the passion for risky actions will not lead you to good; stand out for your intelligence, not for your risky dissipation; do not walk on the balcony railings; It always seems to you that trouble is far away and cannot happen to you, but one day it will fall on you like a kite on a mouse - before you have time to come to your senses. During the holiday, it is as if someone had a quarrel - because of someone’s negligence or negligence, an accident will happen.

Why do you dream about a holiday?

Noble dream book by N. Grishina

Easter is the arrival of happiness.

Christmas or New Year with Christmas trees and burning candles - a big surprise, joy.

Someone else’s anniversary in a dream means someone’s unexpected help.

Your anniversary - get hope for a promotion.

The grand opening of something is an entry into something new and pleasant.

Carnival, Maslenitsa, masquerade - you are not sincere with friends (decreased income), losses, irritation, intrigues.

A ball in a dream is a deception, a surprise.

Celebrating your birthday is a long time, happy life to come.

Someone else's birthday is an unpleasant meeting, illness or danger to the life of the person whose birthday you saw.

Why do you dream about a holiday?

Dream Book of the Wanderer

Holidays - an improvement in life situation, a joyful event; "festive" mood.

Why do you dream about a holiday?

Dream book of healer Akulina

What does a Holiday mean in a dream - The dream foretells prosperity in the near future. Imagine that you are celebrating an event with all your family and friends. You are happy, carefree and joyful.

Why do you dream about a holiday?

Rick Dillon's Dream Book

Celebrating a victory is a dream that can actually be fulfilled.

Why do you dream about a holiday?

Dream Interpretation of Artemidor

You dreamed of a Holiday - Seeing yourself at a holiday means that you will be promised mountains of gold, but these promises should not be given great importance.

Why do you dream about a holiday?

Phoebe's Great Dream Book

Holiday - improvement of well-being in the near future. Imagine that you see a noisy, cheerful, bright holiday spilling out onto the streets of the city. There is fun all around, carnival processions are going on, music is playing, people are singing and dancing. Fireworks bloom here and there in the sky. You join the celebration and join the crowd of cheerful, cheerful people. Your friends, family, acquaintances will join you. You are in the very center of wild holiday fun.

Why do you dream about a holiday?

Psychoanalytic dream book

What does Holiday mean in a dream 1. Being on a holiday in a dream is associated with a feeling of relaxation and satisfaction. 2. Our need to be independent and responsible often manifests itself in dreams as a holiday. It is literally a holy day - a day of its own - and we may need to take care in warning that we need time to create space for ourselves. 3. Spiritual replenishment, rest and relaxation are all part of the holiday.

Why do you dream about a holiday?

Women's dream book

Holiday, banquet - Seeing a holiday in a dream means pleasant surprises. If the holiday ends in unrest, this portends quarrels or misfortunes due to someone's negligence. Being late for the festival means anxious and restless days ahead. If you dream that you are taking part in a noisy celebration, in reality you often neglect the so-called cruel reality. This dream also means that you are avoiding dependence on other people.

Why do you dream about a holiday?

Housewife's Dream Interpretation

Holiday - rest; independence; harmony in the family; family traditions. There was some kind of disorder and quarrel at the celebration; being late for the holiday means unjustified hopes; missed opportunity to gain freedom; someone is missing at the holiday - the loss of a loved one; a break up; to participate in a noisy holiday - dependence in some way on others is unpleasant for you; to be unprepared for a festive event - to pay great attention to what others think about you; ignore their opinion.

Why do you dream about a holiday?

Italian dream book Meneghetti

In any case, it indicates a situation that is beneficial and useful to the subject, opening up a favorable opportunity for him personal development.

Why do you dream about a holiday?

Online dream book

If there is a holiday, this plot suggests that you are not inclined to take life seriously. More interpretations If our dream book turned out to be useful for you, then add it to your browser so that it is always at your fingertips. Already used by more than 450 users!© Author-compiler: Alexey Krivenky. Photo: depositphotos.com

Why do you dream about a holiday?

An old English dream book

Seeing yourself at a holiday is a harbinger that your life will turn out very well, that you will be able to enjoy traveling to distant countries.

If at a festival you see yourself next to the one you love, this portends great marital happiness.

Why do you dream about a holiday?

Dream book of lovers

A dream about a holiday portends a quarrel between spouses or lovers.

A. N. Ostrovsky. Holiday sleep - before lunch*

Pictures from Moscow life Moscow, Publishing House "Book Chamber", 2001 OCR & spellcheck: Olga Amelina, August 2005 Original here: Drama Library: http://www.lib-drama.narod.ru FACES: P a v l a Petrovna Balzaminova, widow. Mikhailo Dmitrich Balzaminov, her son, official, 25 years old. Cleopatra Ivanovna Nichkina, widow, merchant's wife, 35 years old.

Kapochka (Kapitolina), her daughter, 17 years old.

Ustinka, Kapochka’s friend, merchant’s daughter, 20 years old.

Akulina G avrilovna Kras avina, matchmaker.

First appearance

Balzaminova Nil Borisych Neudenov, merchant, brother of Nichkina, 40 years old. Yusha (Ef and m), his son, 13 years old.

Matryona, cook at the Balzaminovs.

Malanya, Nichkina’s maid. [*By And it’s a wonder what happened! Who was he born so blond as? The problem is again: white-haired women are not in fashion these days. Well, the nose... it’s not that it’s snub-nosed at all, but somehow it’s so small, something is missing. But you want to be liked, especially if it were a rich bride. Well, the poor thing is really trying – he’s trying his best. Who is your own enemy? Our side is like this, there are a lot of rich brides, but they are stupid. Maybe Misha will be lucky because of their stupidity. God really offended him with his little mind.

Balzaminov shouts from the kitchen: “Mama, I want to curl my hair a la polka!”

Stupid, stupid! Why are you curling your hair? You just ruffle your hair and burn it, everyone is looking separately. It suits you better, more naturally! Oh, Misha, Misha! You are dear to me, I wouldn’t trade you for anyone; will others somehow like you, especially the rich? I really can’t believe it! In my eyes, it would be better if you didn’t exist, but others are picky these days. They will talk to you, and they will see that you are not smart enough. And who is to blame for this? (Sighs.) My stupid one! But maybe he will be happy. They say that God gives happiness to such people. (Knits a stocking.)

Balzaminov runs in from the kitchen in a dressing gown.

Second phenomenon

Balzaminov, Balzaminova and Matryona.

Balzaminov (holding his head).Ear, ear! Fathers, ear! Matryona (at the door; with tongs). I’m not a polytechnician, what can you take from me! Balzaminov. But I asked you to curl your hair, not your ears. Matryona. Why did you grow big ones! Ying would go to the polyhmachter; and what to take from me! (Leaves.) Balzaminov. Fathers, what should I do? (Approaches the mirror.) Ah ah ah! Everything has turned black!.. It’s so painful, there’s no need to cover it with hair so that it’s not visible. Balzaminova. Get to work! Balzaminov. What a hit! So, with hot tongs, she grabbed the whole ear... Oh, oh, oh! Mama! Even before the fever... Oh, fathers! Balzaminova. I say, Misha, it's up to you. Why curl! What good! Just like a barber; Yes, and a sin. No matter how you curl your hair, you won’t get any better. Balzaminov. How you, Mama, don’t wish me happiness, I don’t understand. How do we live? We're just poor. Balzaminova. So what! Why spoil your hair?.. Balzaminov. Yes, today is a holiday. Balzaminova. So what's the holiday? Balzaminov. Like what? Here is the merchant side; maybe such a case will arise... Suddenly... Balzaminova. All you have on your mind is nonsense. Balzaminov. What nonsense? Balzaminova. Of course, nonsense. Is it good? You’ll ruffle your hair and end up walking past rich merchants under their windows. Somehow you'll get into trouble. Another jealous husband or father will send out the janitor with a broom. Balzaminov. Well, what is it? Well, he will send it; you can run away. Balzaminova. There's no need to wander around. Balzaminov. Why not? Is it better to live in poverty? Well, I go through a year, well, two, well, three, well, five - after all, time is also ticking for me - but suddenly... Balzaminova. It would be better if you served well. Balzaminov. What to serve! How long will I serve? And then suddenly you hook a million. Balzaminova. A million? Balzaminov. What is this! Nothing happens. You yourself said that I was born in a shirt.

Silence.

Oh, mamma, you won’t believe how much I want to be rich, I dream and see it. It seems... eh... it would explode! I really want it, I really want it! Balzaminova. What a bad thing! Balzaminov. After all, the other one is rich, but what’s the use: he doesn’t know how to manage money, it’s even annoying to look at. Balzaminova. Can you? Balzaminov. Yes, of course I can. Mama, I have a lot of taste. I know what suits me. (Runs up to the window.) Mama, mamma, look! Balzaminova. It's very necessary! Balzaminov. What a ride! All velvet! (Sits by the window, hanging his head.) If someone like that fell in love with me and married me, what would I do! Balzaminova. And what? Balzaminov. But: firstly, I would sew myself a blue cloak with a black velvet lining. You just have to imagine, mummy, how blue suits me! I would buy myself a gray horse and a racing droshky and drive along Zatsepa, Mama, and drive it myself... Balzaminova. It's all nonsense. Balzaminov. Yes, I forgot to tell you what kind of dream I had! Let me figure it out. Balzaminova. Well, tell me, which one? Balzaminov (takes a chair and sits next to his mother). Now, suddenly I see that I’m riding in a good stroller and that I’m dressed very well, with taste: it’s like I’m wearing a vest, mama, black, with small gold stripes; the horses look gray, and I’m riding near the river... Balzaminova. Horses are a lie; river - speeches, conversation. Balzaminov. Listen, mummy, what happened next. Look, I see that the coachman dropped me, in a new dress, right into the mud. Balzaminova. Dirt is wealth. Balzaminov. Yes, what dirt, mummy! Brrr... And it’s like I’m all dirty in this. So I died! Everything is new, imagine! Balzaminova. Is this gold. This will bring you great wealth. Balzaminov. If only it came true! If only this mockery would make one dream come true! I’ve had so many dreams like this: I have a lot of money, and I’m dressed very well - you wake up, grab it, but there’s nothing. Once I saw myself as a general. How happy I was! No! I'll stop believing dreams. Balzaminova. How can you not believe it? Balzaminov. No no! One deception... Balzaminova. But let's wait. A holiday dream comes true before lunch: if it doesn’t come true before lunch, nothing will happen - you need to completely throw it out of your head. Balzaminov. Mama, I’ll get dressed and go for a walk. (Leaves.) Balzaminova. And sleep is really good. What doesn't happen in the world! Maybe happiness will come to him too. Matryona (in the door). Some old woman, little mermaid, is asking you. Balzaminova. Well, call me!

Matryona leaves.

What does she need from me? Really, I can't make it up. Isn't that a matchmaker?

Beauty enters.

The third phenomenon

Krasavina and Balzaminova.

Balzaminova. Sit down, mother!

Krasavina sits down.

What do you want? Krasavina. Didn't you recognize Al? Balzaminova. I don’t admit it, mother. Krasavina. It seems like you can choose our sister out of thousands. An owl is visible in flight. Where is the son? Balzaminova. Getting dressed. Krasavina. Well, gentleman, there’s nothing to say! It hits on the fly! He shouted this and barked: Sivka, burka, prophetic kaurka, stand in front of me like a leaf in front of the grass! He got in one ear, came out the other, and became a fine fellow. The princess sits in her new mansion on twelve crowns. He jumped up on all twelve crowns, kissed the queen on the sugar lips, and she stamped her name on his forehead and sealed it for memory. Balzaminova. Now, mother, I understand. Misha, Misha!

Balzaminov enters in a tailcoat.

The fourth phenomenon

The same and Balzaminov.

Krasavina. My beauty is indescribable! Young boy, what will you give as a gift? Balzaminov. Whom? Krasavina. Me. Balzaminov. For what? Krasavina. You will know a lot, you will soon grow old. Prepare a gift. Balzaminov (confused). What should I give you? (Fingers in his pockets.) Really... eh... I don’t have anything. Krasavina. No - there is no trial. Not now, but it will be later. Look, it's an agreement better than money. I don’t need much, you yourself are a poor man, but suddenly this happiness happened to you. Give me a piece of cloth for a dress and a French shawl. Balzaminov. Yes, it’s good, there’s no need to interpret it! Krasavina. What a pain in the ass! We need to really talk. You will take yours, and I need to take mine. So look, French. Otherwise you will, perhaps, give a scarf on the nether land with empty flowers. Balzaminov. Yes, that's it, that's it, just say it. Krasavina. Al say? Balzaminov. Say Say! Mama, what a dream! Balzaminova. Yes, Misha. Krasavina. Did you see that? Balzaminov. I saw it, I saw it. Krasavina. Well, there you have it. Balzaminov. So what happened? Krasavina. Look how agile you are! So suddenly tell you! At least you could treat me to something. Well, one word, I’ll make you happy. Balzaminov. Mama, why are you really sitting there? You only have one son, and you don’t bother about his happiness! Balzaminova. Are you crazy or something? Balzaminov. Yes, of course, mom! Now you can see what kind of line I get. Suddenly I can become a man... You will inevitably go crazy. Balzaminova. Would you like some tea? Krasavina. I drank, mother, I drank four times today. You keep this form, but it’s of little use. Balzaminova. So, would you like some vodka? Krasavina. A holiday is possible. I don’t give up good; I don't have it in me. Balzaminova (takes out vodka from the cabinet). Matryona! Run to the store and get some sausages.

Matryona from the kitchen: “Why run when you have food at home!”

So serve it quickly.

Matryona from the kitchen: “I’ll give it to you! There’s no rain on us.”

Balzaminov. After all, strangling Matryona is not enough.

Balzaminova goes into the kitchen and brings bread and sausage on two plates and places them on the table.

Balzaminova. Eat. Krasavina. I don't give up anything. Everything is good, everything is beneficial. I don’t disdain anything. In one house they wanted to make fun of me, they brought me a glass of ladicolone instead of vodka. Balzaminova. Tell! What a mockery! Krasavina. Nothing. I drank and thanked him. There is no harm from it, just from ladicolone. Happy holiday! (Drinks and snacks.) Balzaminova. Eat for your health! What is your name? Krasavina. Akulina Gavrilovna. Among the people they called her Govorilikha, and that’s what they call her Govorilikha. Balzaminov. What, Akulina Gavrilovna, will you please? Krasavina. As if you don't know! You've filled it, you should know. Balzaminov. Really, I don't know. Krasavina. What a great guy! Oh, your roguish eyes are painfully envious! You cast your eyes high! And now the girl is drying up, rushing about the walls. He sees the inevitable trouble behind Govorilikha now: “Help me, Govorilikha!” “And that’s good for Govorilikha.” This is not the first time I have held an ambassadorial position. Feet with an approach, head with a bow, tongue with a sentence. Balzaminov. From whom? Krasavina. From whom! Tell you everything. Figure it out for yourself. Where do you scurry around from morning to night, or don’t you know? He walks under the windows beckoning, and she captivates him from the second floor. Balzaminov. So is it really Nichkina? Krasavina (hitting the table with his hand). Right in the center! Balzaminov (grabs his head and jumps up). Oh-oh, mommy! (Stands in a daze.) Balzaminova. What about him? Krasavina. From love. It gets even worse. Love is cruel to hearts. There is nothing more terrible than her. Blood is shed for infidelity. Balzaminov. Oh! (Sits on a chair.) Balzaminova. Why did they, mother, send you to us, with what proposal? Krasavina. About dating. We need to get to know each other first. Balzaminova. Of course. Balzaminov. Познакомиться! My God! Balzaminova. How, mother, can you do this? Krasavina. But send the young man already, after vespers, as if to ask him to take a walk in the garden, and come in the evening - they will politely invite you to have tea. Balzaminova. Well, great, we'll do that. Balzaminov. Mommy, I'm going crazy! It's starting to seem like something to me. Balzaminova. Stupid, stupid! Krasavina. Love works. So what should I tell my people? Balzaminova. Misha what to download? Balzaminov. Say I'm dying of love; that maybe I’ll die by evening. Balzaminova. Well, what nonsense are you talking about? Krasavina. Why die! We must live, and we will rejoice in you! Balzaminov. No, no, let them pick up all the roses and lilies and pour them on my coffin. Balzaminova. Eh, Misha, you couldn’t have said it better, you wouldn’t have embarrassed me!.. So we’ll come. But let me ask... of course, all this is still, God willing, but still it’s interesting to know, what about the dowry? Krasavina. Golden Bride! She has her own money - she inherited it from her father - three hundred thousand silver. Balzaminov (jumping up). Oho, ho, ho! (Walks around the room.) Krasavina. Look, he grabs him! Balzaminova. Why is it that you, Misha, don’t know how to behave!.. Excuse him - out of joy. Krasavina. You will be glad! Money is money, and she is also a very beautiful person: she has a sugary body, she is solid in appearance, in all its fullness; how he dresses, two girls are forcibly buttoned up. Even a little ashamed. Why, I say, be ashamed, if God gave it. Just a little paddle. Well, goodbye! See you in the evening. Balzaminova. Farewell! On the path. (Pours.) Krasavina. And then drink; You'll be limping about one thing. (Drinks and snacks.) Farewell winner! Balzaminov. Goodbye! (He throws himself on her neck.) Krasavina. I’m glad, I’m glad, I already see that I’m glad; Just look, are you strong enough to cut down the tree? Well, goodbye, deliver the goods, the idiot has already left. (Leaves.)

Balzaminova accompanies her to the kitchen and returns.

Fifth appearance

Balzaminov, Balzaminova and then Matryona.

Balzaminov. Where is my pencil, where is my pencil? Balzaminova. What do you need a pencil for? Balzaminov. It is necessary, mummy. Matryona! Matryona!

Matryona enters.

Where's my pencil? Matryona. How do I know? What kind of clerk are you after that, when you lost your pencil? Balzaminov. Clerk! clerk! Matryona. After all, your pencil is like a soldier’s gun. So why do soldiers lose their guns? Balzaminov. What a scribe I am! I'll be a master soon. Matryona. Are you a master? Does not look like it. Balzaminov. But you'll see how I get three hundred thousand. Matryona. Three hundred thousand! I do not believe. Who has such crazy money that they would give three hundred thousand for you? Yes, you don’t know how to count them. Balzaminov. Well, why talk to you! You do not understand anything. Matryona. Where to understand! And the groom wants to get married, but he lost his pencil. Shameless! Balzaminov (feels in his side pocket). Here he is, found it. Balzaminova. Well, what will happen? Balzaminov. But now. (Takes a piece of paper from the chest of drawers and sits down at the table.) I now receive a salary of one hundred and twenty rubles a year, and we live on it; what about three hundred thousand? (writes three hundred thousand), So if it’s a thousand a year... it’ll still last me three hundred years. Matryona (clasping his hands). Fathers! Balzaminova. Do you really want to live three hundred years!.. Balzaminov. Well, let me! If two per year (writes) That's enough for a hundred and fifty years. Balzaminova. You've gone completely crazy. Balzaminov. Well, Mama, if you live a good life, maybe you’ll live. Matryona. How not to live! Balzaminov. Oh, I forgot about percentages. How much, mama, percent of three hundred thousand? Balzaminova. Yes, tea, twelve thousand. Balzaminov. It seems, mama, something like twelve thousand. Matryona. With money. Balzaminov. With what money! Why are you lying! Matryona. What to count something that is not there. It's boring to watch. You figure it out better: nine brooms, one broom for money, how much money? And you can’t even count that. (Leaves.) Balzaminov (rises). I’ll go for a walk, let the wind blow a little; otherwise there are too many thoughts in my head about life. Balzaminova. You should still be choosing the words to speak to the bride. Balzaminov. But while I’m walking, I’ll be choosing words. Balzaminova. I’ll prepare the dress, I need to dress well already.

PICTURE TWO

In the house of the merchant Nichkina: a rich merchant living room, well furnished; piano.

First appearance

Nichkina in a wide blouse, Kapochka, too, and Malanya enter.

Nichkina. How hot! And if you have lunch, it will make you even worse... it will make you so tired... such a waste will attack, I wouldn’t even look at it! (Sits on the sofa.) Kapochka. Come on, Malasha, let's sing. Nichkina. Come on, it's already hot. Kapochka. We, Mama, are going slowly. (Sits down at the piano.)

Kapochka and Malasha sing: “There’s a big village on the way.” A little later Nichkina pesters them.

Nichkina (stops singing). Stop it, otherwise I was lured in too. Tired. Kapochka. What is this, mummy, how capricious you are! Suddenly the fantasy of singing came over me, but you won’t let me. Nichkina. It's hot, Kapochka. Kapochka. Next time you’ll ask yourself, but I won’t have any imagination. Whose fault is it that you are hot? This is even quite strange of you! Nichkina. Well, you are! Kapochka. What do you want me to do for fun? We don't have gentlemen. All we do is stare out the window with Malasha all day long. You probably won’t allow that either. Nichkina. Do whatever you want, just don't bother me.

Ustinka comes in a hat.

Second phenomenon

Same with Ustinka. [Ustinka burrs a little. (Author's note)]

Ustinka. Hello, Cleopatra Ivanovna! Nichkina. Hello, Ustinka! What, is it hot outside? Ustinka. Hot. Nichkina. What kind of punishment is this! Ustinka. Hello, Kapochka! (Takes off his hat.) Just now I saw your subject, walking along the embankment in oblivion of feelings. Kapochka. Oh! One heart suffers, and the other does not know. Ustinka. Well, Cleopatra Ivanovna, did you send Gavrilovna to him? Nichkina. Yes... here... I am a spoiled person. And I shouldn’t listen to you, but I sent you today. Who will praise me for this! Any clever man will scold. Yes, she pestered me, well, out of weakness, I obeyed. Who knows what he is like there! He will come to the house... like a groom... stram. Ustinka. You can't joke about your heart. Malanya. There is a sinking in the heart, madam. Nichkina. What a heart! So, with fat... We know this heart... She herself was in girls... Another strict mother would have sewn your tail on, and she herself would have found a good groom, and not some kind of bastard - something. Ustinka. Nowadays tyranny is not in fashion. Nichkina. What tyranny! It’s not just tyranny, I don’t even have enough reason... and it’s hot... Fathers! does. Ustinka. The most current concepts. Kapochka. But don’t people get consumption from their parents, Mama? Ustinka. Are there laws for feelings? Kapochka. Don't they run from the house through the dormer window? Ustinka. Or through the window. Malanya. Or even into the gateway, young lady. Nichkina. That’s it... and we can’t give you much will... You won’t be ashamed... for the whole of Zamoskvorechye... Ustinka. However, what a story you have about us! It seems that we have not proven ourselves in any way in this regard. Kapochka. Mama will say a word and lend you a favor. That’s how he’ll make a mark in front of people, because he’ll put him to shame, where can one hide from shame! They will think that we really are like that. Nichkina. Aren't there spoiled girls? Am I telling you a lie? Ustinka. Although there is, it still does not apply to us. Kapochka. More and more from parents, because they lock me up. Nichkina. It’s impossible not to lock... you... Ustinka. You are wrong to think so. One superstition. Kapochka. There's no point in locking it. Nichkina. Still, you sleep more peacefully... I don’t think so... not like in freedom.

Why are you laughing? It is known that supervision is better... It is impossible without supervision.

Kapochka, Ustinka and Malanya laugh.

What are you doing? Kapochka. To your laughter. Nichkina. Why are you making me laugh, or what? I'm no more stupid than you... Father, it's hot! (Malanya.) What are you doing, stupid? Malanya. I'm looking at the young ladies. Ustinka. How can you not laugh? Is it possible to spot a girl? What are you saying? Kapochka. Even if a thousand eyes look at you, it’s all the same. Nichkina. Something to brag about! How good! Ustinka. We are not boasting and we are not saying this about ourselves at all; It’s in vain that you understand so about us. We generally say about girls that it’s quite funny to lock them up, because you can find a thousand means... and who doesn’t know them. And there is no talk about us. Who can even think! Kapochka and I know ourselves very well and we don’t follow the rules at all. We seem to carry ourselves quite proudly and delicately. Nichkina. There is no chance for you... Ustinka. Oh my god! Is it possible to offend girls like that! Kapochka. But mamma judges in the old way, as it was in her time. Nichkina. How long ago was that time! Ustinka. Nowadays, girls have become much more noble in all directions. Kapochka. I don’t know what you’re saying, mummy. Really, with all my meekness in life, I could not please you? Nichkina. Oh, leave me alone, I’m sick without you! Where can you go to escape the heat? Fathers! Malanya. Let's go, madam, to the cellar. Nichkina. And then to the cellar.

Krasavina enters.

The third phenomenon

Same with Krasavina.

Krasavina. Hello! I did everything and brought back the answer. What, Kalyupatra Ivanovna, is he not feeling well? Nichkina. Nothing... Sit down... just further away, it's hot... Kapochka. What's the answer? Krasavina. It's on fire! And wait, it’s not that important. (Nichkina.) If it’s hot, you should order some beer to be served from the glacier: they say it’s cooling. Nichkina. Everyone says he's chilling... nothing's chilling. Krasavina. Or some seagull... Nichkina. Nothing is cooling... Go, Malanya, put on the samovar.

Malanya leaves.

Ustinka. But, however, tell me, you must give an answer about why you were sent. Krasavina. And my answer will be short. At the behest of the pike, at my request, if you please, get ready, there will be guests in the evening. Nichkina. Didn't you say too much? Krasavina. I didn’t say anything unnecessary; She just said: welcome to our garden in the evening, take a walk, pick cherries, pluck nuts. He was so happy, he became like a sleepwalker. Kapochka. Ah, I'm afraid. Ustinka. What are you afraid of, my soul? Quite unclear to me. Kapochka. I'm always afraid of men, especially those I'm in love with. Krasavina. What to be afraid of will not bite him. Kapochka. It would be better if they spoke directly; Otherwise they will start such conversations, from afar, you don’t know what to answer. Krasavina. As straight as possible! Not good! Ashamed! It is known that to be polite, you first need to talk about something else. Kapochka. Why not say directly when you feel what? Oh, Ustinka, I’m terribly afraid. Well, are you embarrassed? I just can’t restrain my feelings... Suddenly I might do something... I might lose all my feelings... Ustinka. Don't be afraid, I will be with you. I won't give you away.

They speak in a whisper.

Nichkina. Is there anything new? Krasavina. What's new to tell you? Well, they say that King Pharaoh began to come out of the sea at night, and with an army; will appear and leave again. They say this is before the final end. Nichkina. How scary! Krasavina. Yes, they say, the white blackamoor is rising against us, leading two hundred million troops. Nichkina. Where is he from, the white blackamoor? Krasavina. From White Arapia. Nichkina. How will it be to live in the world! Such passions! Times are so hard! Krasavina. Yes, they also say whether some kind of comet or planid is coming; So scientists looked at the sky through a microscope and calculated from the numbers on what day and at what time it would land on earth. Nichkina. Is it possible to know God's plan! Every person has his own planet... Fathers, how hot it is! I wish I could take off my clothes, but I can’t—it’s a holiday, people are looking out the windows; When you enter the garden, the neighbors are looking at the fence. Krasavina. And close the shutters.

Malanya enters.

Malanya. Brother has arrived. Nichkina. Fathers! In this heat... Kapochka. As if, Mama, he didn’t upset things with us! Uncle is so uneducated! Ustinka. What ideas can there be, I came from the steppe! Nichkina. Not from the steppe, but from Kolomna. Ustinka. All the same, one education, one taste. Kapochka. Mama, don’t let him command you. Nichkina. Are you going to talk to him? Kapochka. What a punishment! Ustinka. No, imagine what Balzaminov might think about you, seeing such ignorance! Nichkina (Malanya). Go and take him straight to the dining room. Yes, serve dinner - tea, he wants to eat on the way. Go take it.

Nichkina, Malanya and Krasavina leave.

The fourth phenomenon

Kapochka and Ustinka.

Kapochka. It arrived on time! Now everything in the house will go the Russian way. Ah, I feel my destiny; he will upset mommy. Well, how can he teach my mother to give me to a merchant with a beard! Then I will die of love. Ustinka. Why say such cruel words! Kapochka. No, Ustinka, you don’t know my heart! My heart is the warmest for love. Ustinka. Capochka, tell me, darling, how did you fall in love? I terribly love discoveries in love from my friends. Kapochka. Oh! one minute - and it’s all over forever! I was walking somewhere in the evening with Malanya, suddenly a young man in a blue tie met us; looked at me with such soul in his eyes, it’s incomprehensible even to my mind! And then he lowered his eyes quite proudly. I suddenly felt it, but didn’t show it. He followed us home and passed the windows three times. The blue color suits him so well that I don’t even know what happened to me! Ustinka. Doesn't he show you any signs when he walks by? Kapochka. No. Only he always looks so pitifully, like the most constant one. Ustinka. And does he go often? Kapochka. Ah, Ustinka, every day. Ah!.. Isn’t it really very dirty... Ustinka. This means he simply burns out... And he must be the most, most ardent for love. Kapochka. Oh! I don't know what will happen to me when I see him! There are no boundaries for my feelings. Ustinka. However, you still need to restrain yourself a little. Kapochka. Oh! Beyond my strength.

Neuedenov, Yusha and Nichkina enter.

Fifth appearance

Kapochka, Ustinka, Nichkina, Neuedenov and Yusha.

Kapochka. Hello, uncle! (He comes up and kisses his uncle.)

Ustinka bows.

Yusha. Hello. (He approaches Kapochka, bows, kisses three times, bows again and shakes his head; the same with Ustinka. Then he sits in the corner on the very last chair and sits with his eyes downcast.) Neuedenov. How are you doing, Kapochka? (Sits down.) Kapochka. Thank God, uncle. I humbly thank you. Neuedenov. Is it fun? Kapochka. Nothing, fun, sir. Neuedenov. Are there any suitors? Tea, so at the gate they howl in different voices. Ustinka. What a conversation! Neuedenov. What a conversation! What's wrong with you, young lady? Ustinka. It’s indecent to talk like that in front of young ladies; not accepted today. Neuedenov. Yes, sir! I’m talking to my niece, but I don’t care about anyone else. (Nichkina.) Whose is this? Nichkina. Capochka's friend. Neuedenov. One of the noble ones, perhaps? Nichkina. No, from the merchants. Neuedenov. Well, the bird is so small... But even then, sister, it’s hot. Nichkina. And that, brother, is hot. Neuedenov. Yufim!

Yusha comes up.

Come on, take my caftan. (Takes off his caftan.) Take it to our room.

Yusha takes it and leaves.

Ustinka. What lack of education! Neuedenov. Nothing, sir! They won't punish you! Nichkina. Brother, don't you want to go to sleep? Neuedenov. No. I could crack some nuts now. And then you can go to sleep. Nichkina. Malanya!

Malanya and Yusha enter.

Go and bring your brother some nuts. Neuedenov. Yufim! Go look for a stone in the yard; choose a smoother one, or a heavier one.

Yusha leaves.

Kapochka. Why do you need a stone, uncle? Neuedenov. Why are you scared? I suppose! I'm nuts... Ustinka. My God!

Malanya enters with nuts.

Nichkina. You're welcome, brother.

Malanya brings him nuts on a plate.

Neuedenov. Put it on the window. (He goes to the window, opens it and sits down opposite it.)

Malanya puts the nuts on the window, Yusha comes in with a stone.

Give it here!

Yusha serves.

There's better airflow here. (Puts a nut and two nuts on the window and breaks them with a stone.) Kapochka. Uncle, why are you sitting by the window with a stone? You'll scare my fiancé when he goes. Neuedenov (continuing to crack nuts). Which groom? Nichkina. Yes... it's... it's so hot, and we started matchmaking... what a wedding now... in such heat... Neuedenov. But give me some time, I’ll see what kind of groom he is. Kapochka (takes his uncle by the shoulders). Uncle, you really will scare me! Neuedenov. Go away! (Keeps knocking.)

Kapochka approaches Ustinka, hugs her and looks at her uncle with contempt.

Kapochka. What a shock! Ustinka. What ignorance!

PICTURE THREE

Garden: to the right is a barn with a dovecote and a gate; right next to the fence and behind it the trees of another garden; to the left is a gazebo, behind the gazebo are trees; in the middle of the stage, in the bushes, there is a table and benches; near the barn there is a bush and a bench.

First appearance

Kapochka, Ustinka and Yusha enter.

Kapochka. Oh! Oh! I will die! Ustinka. Why are you sighing so much! Look, something will burst. Kapochka. Oh! He'll come now. Ustinka. Of course he will come. His mother went to yours, and he will come here. Kapochka. Oh! Yusha. What, is this your dovecote? Kapochka. Oh! dovecote. Yusha. So the first duty is to get rid of it, you can’t ignore it. (Leaves.) Ustinka. Very well; otherwise he just gets in the way.

Balzaminov enters the gate.

Kapochka. Oh, here he comes!

They walk, hugging each other, along the proscenium, as if not noticing him.

Second phenomenon

The same and Balzaminov.

Balzaminov (He walks in silence for some time, then, as if by accident, he meets Kapochka and Ustinka). Hello. (Bows.)

What a pleasant smell in your garden. Ustinka. Yes, sir. Balzaminov. Do you sell apples or eat them yourself? Kapochka. Sami, sir.

Yusha appears at the dovecote.

Balzaminov. Someday I will come to your garden at night to steal apples. Kapochka. Oh! Ustinka. Their dogs are evil. Balzaminov. How do you want your words to be understood? Ustinka. These words do not concern you at all, but the thieves; you can always walk here, you will always be welcome. Kapochka. Yes, sir. Balzaminov. I humbly thank you for your invitation. Ustinka. Here in the area it’s scary how few good gentlemen there are to meet young ladies. Kapochka. And only two: Tolkachev and Kirpichev. Ustinka. What kind of gentlemen are these? Isn't it good girl may have acquaintance or love with them. Embarrass yourself! One is an intriguer, everything he says is out of politics and in mockery; the other is antiresu, meeting ladies from antiresu. You are the best. Kapochka. Yes, sir. Ustinka. Here's a privilege for you from us! Balzaminov. I don’t even know how to thank you for all your dreams!

Kapochka sits down on the bench on the right side. Ustinka stands next to her. Balzaminov is at a distance.

Kapochka (Ustinka is quiet). What he says? It would be better straight away. Ustinka (quiet). But wait, I’ll tell him now. Kapochka (quiet). Oh, don't talk. Ustinka. It's impossible! (He approaches Balzaminov and takes him aside.) Kapochka asked me to tell you to be bolder with her, otherwise she herself is very timid. It’s okay, don’t be embarrassed, it’s simple with us. And I’ll go and watch: when someone comes in, I’ll let you know. Why are you standing there! Go to her quickly. Balzaminov (clears throat). Hm... Hm... Now. (Costs.) Ustinka. Now, but they themselves are not moving. (Pushes him.) Go quickly, otherwise they will interfere. Balzaminov. Hm... Hm... (Loud.) Hm... Now. Ustinka. It's even discourteous of you to force yourself to wait. Balzaminov. Now, sir! (Slowly walks towards Kapochka.)

Ustinka stands at the gate.

Kapochka (To Balzaminov). Sit down!

Balzaminov sits quite far from Kapochka, looks at the ground and occasionally clears his throat.

Kapochka looks at the fence. Yusha watches them from the dovecote. Quite a long silence.

Balzaminov. Which do you like better, winter or summer? Kapochka. Summer is better, sir. In summer you can walk. Balzaminov. And in the winter to ride. Kapochka. In summer all kinds of flowers bloom. Balzaminov. And in winter it’s a lot of fun at Christmastide and Maslenitsa. Kapochka. And in the summer it’s fun at seven o’clock. Balzaminov. On which day do you start eating pancakes at Maslenitsa? Kapochka. Since Tuesday... And in the summer all sorts of berries ripen.

Silence. Balzaminov reaches out to Kapochka, she reaches out to him, they kiss and lower their eyes to the ground.

Yusha (at the dovecote). Once! Ustinka (threatens him). Shut up!

Silence.

Kapochka. Which berries do you like best? Balzaminov. What are you like? Kapochka. Strawberries and cream. Balzaminov. And I'm a gooseberry. Kapochka. Are you joking! How can a gooseberry... it's prickly. Balzaminov. I'm not afraid of that, sir. Are you afraid, sir? Kapochka. Oh! What are you saying? I do not understand.

Kapochka begins to lean towards Balzaminov, Balzaminov towards her;

They kiss and again lower their eyes to the ground.

Yusha (from the dovecote). Two! Ustinka (Yusha). Be quiet, I tell you. Kapochka. In general, what do you love most? Balzaminov. You, sir. And you? Kapochka. You can guess for yourself.

They kiss.

Yusha. Three! (Runs from the dovecote.) Ustinka (approaches Balzaminov). Go behind the gazebo. When it is possible, I will call you.

Balzaminov goes behind the gazebo.

Kapochka. Oh, how cute! Ustinka. Yusha saw everything from the dovecote. Kapochka. Oh, he'll tell his uncle! Ustinka. Wait, we'll persuade him.

Yusha enters.

Kapochka. You, Yusha, look, don’t tell anyone what you saw. Ustinka. There is no need to kiss, just don’t say it. I'll probably kiss you too. (Kisses Yusha.) Kapochka. And I. (Kisses.) Ustinka. And another kiss. (Kisses him passionately.) Yusha. No need! (Pries them away with his hands.) What a stop! I'll scream! Ay! Come on! Ay! Let me go, I’ll go to the dovecote again. Guard! Ustinka. No, I won’t let you into the dovecote. Come with me to the gazebo. Yusha. I think I’ll go, just don’t pester me, otherwise I’ll scream.

Ustinka takes him by the hand and leads him to the gazebo.

Ustinka (approaching the gazebo). Come out! Now you can.

Balzaminov comes out from behind the gazebo.

Kapochka. Oh, don't come close to me! Balzaminov. Why such disfavor, sir? Kapochka. Men cannot be trusted at all. Balzaminov. But I can limit myself, sir. Kapochka. Everyone says like that; but in reality it turns out quite the opposite. I don’t blame men, everything is easy and accessible for them; but our sister must always be wary of her ardor for love. Oh! I am afraid of you! Better leave me alone. Balzaminov. What cruelties to my heart! Kapochka. Leave me, leave me! Balzaminov. My hope has died and my love has died! Kapochka. Oh, why were we born with such weakness! A man can do anything over us... ah! Balzaminov. How can I do without your favor, sir? (Sits down next to Kapochka.) Kapochka. Oh! What have you done to me! Balzaminov. Sorry, I was beside myself, sir. Kapochka. What can resist love! (Bends towards Balzaminov. They kiss). Forever!

Ustinka and Yusha leave the gazebo.

Ustinka. They're coming, they're coming.

Kapochka approaches Ustinka. Nichkina, Balzaminova and Malanya enter the gate with a tea set,

which he places on the table.

The third phenomenon

Balzaminov, Kapochka, Ustinka, Yusha, Nichkina, Balzaminova and Malanya.

Nichkina (Malanya). You’ll bring the samovar when your brother gets up.

Malanya leaves.

(Balzaminova.) Let's sit down... it's hot. (They sit down at the table. To Balzaminov.) Sit down with us... let's talk!

Balzaminov sits down. The young ladies and Yusha also sit down near the table.

(Kapochka.) Look how they pulled you in... in such heat. Ustinka. Leave it, you'll be embarrassed. Nichkina. Do you read newspapers? Balzaminov. I'm reading, sir. Balzaminova. He tells me all sorts of news. Nichkina. But we don’t read... we don’t know anything... what’s going on there. So I wanted to ask you, have you read anything about Napoleon? They say he wants to go to Moscow again. Balzaminov. Where is he now, sir! He’s still new and hasn’t had time to settle in yet. They write that he finishes all the palaces and rooms. Nichkina. And how will he finish, so, tea, he will go to Moscow with twelve languages? Balzaminov. I don't know, sir. The newspapers write about it in a tone-deaf tone, sir. Nichkina. Yes, tell me: they say that King Pharaoh began to come out of the sea with his army at night. Balzaminov. It may very well be, sir. Nichkina. Where is this sea? Balzaminov. Must be near Palestine. Nichkina. What about greater Palestine? Balzaminov. Big, sir. Nichkina. Far from Constantinople? Balzaminov. Not very far, sir. Nichkina. It must be sixty versts... From everyone else, six to ten versts from such places, they say... only Kyiv is further. Yusha. Constantinople, auntie, is this the navel of the earth? Nichkina. Yes, honey. (Looks closely at Balzaminov.) Balzaminov (squeezes). Why are you looking at me like that? Nichkina. Tight as a dress, it’s tailored for you. Balzaminov. This is in fashion, sir. Balzaminova. He always dresses in fashion with me. Nichkina. What kind of fashion is this in such heat?.. Tea, you’re hot... well, walking down the street in such a dress can just make you crazy. Balzaminov. Nothing, sir. Thank you very much for your attention!

Silence.

Nichkina. They say there are two-stranded horses... and they never get tired or overstrain themselves. Ustinka. What a talk about horses! Nichkina. So what is there to talk about?.. Well, tell me if you are smart. Ustinka. There are different conversations. Otherwise you are talking, but we must be silent. What a pleasure! Here are the two most noble conversations - one: which is better - a man or a woman? Nichkina. Well, I found a comparison! What a woman! Where is she good for? A chicken is not a bird, a woman is not a person! Ustinka. Oh no, why not! Let the men defend their rank, and the women theirs; this is where the conversation goes. And another conversation is even more anti-eyelash. What is harder: to wait and not wait or to have and lose? Balzaminova. This is the most socially pleasing conversation. Nichkina. I will never understand this for the life of me. Kapochka. What are you saying, mummy? Don't embarrass yourself.

Neuedenov and Malanya enter with a samovar, put it on the table and leave.

The fourth phenomenon

The same goes for Neuedenov.

[They sit in the following order: on the right, closer to the audience, on Neuedenov’s chair; on the right side of the table are Nichkin and Balzaminov; Yusha is at the table; on the left, near the table, Kapochka and Ustinka; on the left, closer to the audience, on Balzaminov’s chair. (Author's note)] Neuedenov. I fell asleep in a small matter. Nichkina. Brother, sit down! Here are our new friends! Neuedenov (bows to Balzaminova). Hello!

Balzaminova bows.

Hello, dear sir! (He extends his hand to Balzamin, who timidly offers his own.) Would you like to serve? (Sits down.) Balzaminov. Serving, sir. Neuedenov. Good business, sir. To each his own, sir: trade as a merchant, serve as an official, stagger as a crank. Nichkina. Would you like some seagull, gentlemen?

Malanya serves on a tray.

Neuedenov. I will be with you, sir, to talk about our merchant business. Here is my sister - she is a rich woman, but she is stupid - she doesn’t know what to do with money. And in our merchant business, money is an important thing. Ustinka. Do only merchants really need money? Balzaminov. Everyone likes to have money, sir. Neuedenov. No one, sir, is forbidden. Whoever enjoys having it, get it. Balzaminova. It's hard to make money these days. Balzaminov. Especially if a person with taste, sir, simply has to suffer. I want to live decently, but there are no ways, sir. At least I... Neuedenov. Why should such a person live decently if he has no way of getting money? Balzaminova. And if a person has no ability for service or anything, if God has not given it, what is his fault? Balzaminov. Yes, sir. And in dreams everything seems to be wealth and even in dreams; besides, there is a lot of taste. Neuedenov. But in my opinion, a person who does not know how to get anything, let alone live in wealth, has no reason to live at all. Balzaminova. Where should we put them? Neuedenov. In menial work, digging the earth. Anyone can do this. Take as much money as you earn. Balzaminova. It will be impossible to live in the world like this. Ustinka. Not everyone has such concepts. Neuedenov. What rank do you wear, sir? Balzaminov First, sir. Neuedenov. Well, you are still far from being a general. Do you get a lot of salary for your work? Balzaminov. One hundred and twenty rubles, sir. Neuedenov. This, in our opinion, means: in one pocket it is getting dark, and in another it is dawning; in Tatar - yok, but in Russian - there is nothing. Nichkina. Malanya, take the cups, I'll pour more.

Malanya accepts empty cups. Nichkina pours it. Malanya delivers and moves away with the tray to the side.

Neuedenov. So, sir, I already told you that my sister is a complete fool. Nichkina. Well... you, brother... well, really! I can't talk to you... really, well! Neuedenov. What are you saying? - I haven’t harnessed it yet... So I reported to you that my sister is stupid, sir. Most of all I am afraid that she will find a son-in-law just as foolish as herself. Women have long hair and short minds. Then drop the whole thing. Balzaminova. They are in such a state that they cannot live forever with their son-in-law; and a poor person can be made happy. Neuedenov. But that’s not what her husband made money for. so that she would shake them and live with different spotlights. You have to do business with money. Merchant capital, madam, is an important matter. A good merchant, with a lot of capital, does both himself and society twice as good. Ustinka. You can’t make money on everything, you have to live for your own pleasure someday. Neuedenov. Aren't we living? Yes, you need to live meaningfully. I, my sir, am now very afraid for my sister. A little guy will turn up for her in a tailcoat with buttons or something with epaulettes, and she, foolishly, will be happy, like God knows what happiness. He'll give away his daughter - there's no need, but I'm sorry for the money... Nichkina. Yes, brother, it’s definitely a pity. Kapochka. It seems you, Mama, want to kill me? Ustinka. They said yes and back down. Neuedenov. But, Kapochka, they have very little conscience. Another one sticks his head into the service, no matter what, serves for a week without a year, wags his tail, sees: he doesn’t have the urge - he’s not smart enough, he studied poorly, he can’t count two, laziness was born before him, but he wants to indulge: so he’ll go wandering the streets and the festivities, in case some fool with money shows up. So is this fair? Nichkina (quiet). Stop it, brother... they'll understand. Neuedenov. Nothing, I'm being blunt. But in my opinion, it’s a sin to give money to such people. Our money will be spent on debauchery and stupid importance. He will turn up his nose and begin to mock and arrogate himself over his brother, who earns pennies with difficulty, by the sweat of his brow. If you count how much money our brothers, out of their stupidity, gave away for their daughters to various swindlers, then, truly, your heart will turn. What good could you do with this money! My God! This money, I believe, has been stolen from society. What do you think about this, my sir? Balzaminov. Not everything is in the same directions as you say. Neuedenov. No, sir, whoever took up such speculation, I won’t believe him a penny. Good people in every rank there is. And there is no point in deciding whether someone is poor or rich - I do not advise my sister to do this. Look at the person to see if he knows how to do the job. If he can do it, then give him as much money as you want, everything will benefit him. But the snappers, excuse me, are too bad for us. For another, the whole price is two kopecks in banknotes, and he will have time to outmaneuver some fool, so it still shows the force. He says, give me this much money, give me the best dowry. Yusha. Sable satin coat, red cloth collar! (Yusha). Ustinka and Kapochka Neuedenov (Yusha). Shut up! Kapochka Yushka, shut up! Our women will foolishly sew him cambric shirts, dress him this and that, from head to toe; and then he breaks down in front of the public, and he has no shame in anything! He throws money everywhere so that they call him a good gentleman. Neuedenov. You, uncle, reason like that because you are completely uneducated. Balzaminova (rises).. That is, my friend, uneducated. You're not the only one saying this. Those naked people whom we put on and dress, and give money for their dissolute life, also call us uneducated. They just want to take money from us, but they won’t see their relatives for at least a century. Neuedenov After such words, you and I, Misha, seem to have nothing to do here. Balzaminov. Yes, it looks like it. Apparently the thief's hat is on fire. Neuedenov. I don’t take these words personally, Mama. Balzaminov. No, I'm on your account. Your mother is smarter - she understands now. Neuedenov. I probably won’t chase after more: at least they would give me something. Balzaminov. After all, you don’t have a penny, so whatever you give you, you get everything. . In that case, goodbye, sir.(Bows to everyone.) Balzaminova I didn't expect it, sir. Nichkina. Thank you for the treat. Neuedenov. Not on anything, sir.

. Go more often, it’s more fun without you.

Balzaminova Balzaminov and Balzaminova approach the gate. Yusha follows them. Balzaminov. I told you, Misha, that the holiday sleep is before lunch. Yusha . If I had seen him on weekdays, it would have been a completely different matter.(at the gate). Neuedenov Come in! We are bored without fools. Kapochka. Yushka, shut up! Ustinka (quiet).. Oh, I'm going to die! Kapochka. Oh! (Falls onto the bench.) Nichkina. Fathers! What's wrong with her? Neuedenov. It's okay, it will pass. Malanya, go and tell me to bring a tub of water. Kapochka (rises). No, sorry, I won't allow that. Neuedenov. Alive! Eh, sister! How can I not scold you! What a thing I threw away! Such a product (pointing to Kapochka), and even with money, I gave it for a strekulist. And I’ve already prepared a groom for you. A young little Russian, healthy, fresh, smart. And what a businessman! Yes, and with capital. Nichkina. Woo me, brother. Neuedenov. Woo me, Kapochka? Kapochka. Does he have a beard? Neuedenov. With a little one. Kapochka. But she will grow up. Neuedenov. How stupid! By the time she grows up, you’ll get used to it... And what a handsome man! To woo, or what? Kapochka (looking down). Make a match. Neuedenov. That's better. So it's dealt with.