Do they go to the grave for 40 days? Funeral: essence, rules, mournful words about death

A man died. What to do? How to bury? What are the funeral rites? What to do on day 40?

When loved ones leave us forever, many questions swirl in our heads, the answers to which we look for everywhere in books, on the Internet, in various symbols. In this article you will find answers to the most popular questions.

How to cope with grief when a loved one dies?

“Do not give up your heart to sorrow; move her away from you, remembering the end. Do not forget this, for there is no return; and you will not benefit him, but will harm yourself. With the repose of the deceased, calm the memory of him, and you will be comforted about him after the departure of his soul" (Sir. 38:20, 21, 23)

Is it necessary to cover a mirror if one of your relatives has died?

The custom of hanging mirrors in a house where a death has occurred is partly due to the belief that whoever sees his reflection in the mirror of this house will also soon die. There are many “mirror” superstitions, some of them are associated with fortune telling on mirrors. And where there is magic and witchcraft, fear and superstition inevitably appear. Hanging a mirror has no effect on life expectancy, which depends entirely on the Lord.

How is the last kiss of the deceased performed? Do I need to be baptized at the same time?

The farewell kiss of the deceased occurs after his funeral service in the temple. They kiss the aureole placed on the forehead of the deceased or apply it to the icon in his hands. At the same time, they are baptized on the icon.

What to do with the icon that was in the hands of the deceased during the funeral service?

After the funeral service for the deceased, the icon can be taken home or left in the temple. The icon is not left in the coffin.

What should you eat at a funeral?

According to tradition, after the burial, a funeral table is assembled. The funeral meal is a continuation of the service and prayer for the deceased. The funeral meal begins with eating the kutia brought from the temple. Kutia or kolivo is boiled grains of wheat or rice with honey. They also eat pancakes and sweet jelly. On a fast day, food should be lean. The funeral meal should be distinguished from a noisy feast by reverent silence and kind words about the deceased. Unfortunately, the bad custom of commemorating the deceased at this table with vodka and a hearty snack has taken root. The same thing is repeated on the ninth and fortieth days. It is sinful and shameful on the part of Christians to perform such a commemoration, which brings unspeakable grief to the newly departed soul, which these days is facing the decision of God’s Court, and it thirsts for especially fervent prayer to God.

How to help the deceased?

It is quite possible to alleviate the fate of the deceased if you perform frequent prayers for him and give alms. It is good for the sake of the deceased to work for the Church or in the monastery.

About death, burial and commemoration of the dead If a person died on Bright Week (from the day of Holy Easter to Saturday of Bright Week inclusive), then the Easter canon is read.

Instead of the Psalter, on Bright Week the Acts of the Holy Apostles are read.

There is a belief that until the fortieth day you cannot give away anything belonging to the deceased. Is this true?

You need to plead for the defendant before the trial, not after it. After death, when the soul goes through ordeals, judgment is carried out, one must intercede for it: pray and perform deeds of mercy. We must do good for the deceased: donate to the monastery, to the church, distribute the things of the deceased, buy sacred books and give them to believers from the day of his death until the fortieth day and after that. On the fortieth day, the soul is determined to the place (of bliss or torment) in which it will remain until the Last Judgment, until the Second Coming of Christ. Before the Last Judgment, you can change the afterlife fate of the deceased through intense prayer for him and alms.

Why is the death of the body necessary?

“God did not create death and does not rejoice in the destruction of the living, for He created everything for existence” (Wisdom 1:13,14). Death appeared as a result of the fall of the first people. “Righteousness is immortal, but unrighteousness causes death: the wicked attracted her with hands and words, considered her a friend and wasted away, and made a covenant with her, for they are worthy to be her lot” (Wis. 1:15,16). For many people, death is a means of salvation from spiritual death. For example, children dying in early age, do not know sin. Death reduces the amount of total evil on earth. What would life be like if there were Cain murderers forever, betraying the Lord of Judah and others like them? Therefore, the death of the body is not “ridiculous,” as people of the world say about it, but is necessary and expedient.

Why is the remembrance of the dead performed?

While a person is alive, he is able to repent of sins and do good. But after death this possibility disappears, only hope remains in the prayers of the living. After the death of the body and private judgment, the soul is on the threshold of eternal bliss or eternal torment. It depends on how the short time was lived earthly life. But much depends on prayer for the deceased. The lives of the holy saints of God contain many examples of how, through the prayer of the righteous, the posthumous fate of sinners was eased - right up to their complete justification.

Which commemoration of the dead is the most important?

The Holy Fathers of the Church teach that the most powerful and effective means of asking the departed for God’s mercy is to remember them at the Liturgy. It is necessary, in the coming days after his death, to order a magpie in the church, that is, a commemoration at forty Liturgies: the Bloodless Sacrifice is offered forty times for the deceased, a particle is taken from the prosphora and immersed in the Blood of Christ with a prayer for the remission of sins of the newly deceased. This is the most necessary thing that can be done for the soul of the deceased.

What do the 3rd, 9th, 40th days after the death of a person mean? What should you do these days?

Holy Tradition preaches to us from the words of holy ascetics of faith and piety about the mystery of testing the soul after its departure from the body. For the first two days, the soul of the deceased still remains on earth and, with the Angel accompanying it, walks through those places that attract it with memories of earthly joys and sorrows, good and evil deeds. This is how the soul spends the first two days, but on the third day the Lord, in the image of His three-day Resurrection, commands the soul to ascend to heaven to worship Him - the God of all. On this day, it is timely for the church to commemorate the soul of the deceased, who appeared before God. Then the soul, accompanied by an Angel, enters the heavenly abodes and contemplates their indescribable beauty. The soul remains in this state for six days - from the third to the ninth. On the 9th day, the Lord commands the Angels to again present the soul to Him for worship. The soul stands before the Throne of the Most High with fear and trembling. But even at this time, the Holy Church again prays for the deceased, asking the Merciful Judge to place the soul of the deceased with the saints. After the second worship of the Lord, the Angels take the soul to hell, and it contemplates the cruel torment of unrepentant sinners. On the fortieth day after death, the soul ascends for the third time to the Throne of God. Now her fate is being decided - she is assigned specific place, which she was awarded for her deeds. That's why it's so timely church prayers and commemorations on this day. They ask for forgiveness of sins and the inclusion of the soul of the deceased in paradise with the saints. On these days, memorial services and lithiums are celebrated.

The Church commemorates the deceased on the 3rd day after his death in honor of the three-day Resurrection of Jesus Christ and in the image of the Holy Trinity. Commemoration on the 9th day is performed in honor of the nine ranks of angels, who, as servants of the Heavenly King and representatives to Him, petition for pardon for the deceased.

The commemoration on the 40th day, according to the tradition of the apostles, is based on the forty-day cry of the Israelis about the death of Moses. In addition, it is known that the forty-day period is very significant in the history and Tradition of the Church as the time necessary for the preparation and acceptance of a special Divine gift, for receiving the gracious help of the Heavenly Father. Thus, the prophet Moses was honored to talk with God on Mount Sinai and receive the tablets of the Law from Him only after a forty-day fast. The prophet Elijah reached Mount Horeb after forty days. The Israelites reached the promised land after forty years of wandering in the desert. Our Lord Jesus Christ Himself ascended into heaven on the fortieth day after His Resurrection. Taking all this as a basis, the Church established the commemoration of the departed on the 40th day after their death, so that the soul of the deceased would ascend the holy mountain of Heavenly Sinai, be rewarded with the sight of God, achieve the bliss promised to it and settle in the heavenly villages with the righteous. On all these days, it is very important to order the remembrance of the deceased in the Church by submitting notes for the Liturgy and (or) requiem service.

Is it possible to order a memorial service for the deceased if he is Catholic?

Private, cell (home) prayer for a heterodox deceased is not prohibited - you can remember him at home, read psalms at the grave. In churches, funeral services are not performed or commemorated for those who never belonged to the Orthodox Church: Catholics, Protestants, non-Christians and all those who died unbaptized. The funeral service and requiem service were compiled with the confidence that the deceased and the funeral service were a faithful member of the Orthodox Church. Being outside the Church during life, heretics and schismatics are even further away from it after death, for then the very possibility of repentance and turning to the light of truth is closed for them.

Is it possible to order a memorial service for an unbaptized deceased?

The Church cannot remember the unbaptized for the reason that they lived and died outside the Church - they were not its members, were not reborn to a new, spiritual life in the Sacrament of Baptism, did not confess the Lord Jesus Christ and cannot be involved in the benefits that He promised to those who love Him. For the relief of the fate of the souls of the dead who were not worthy of Holy Baptism, and of infants who died in the womb or during childbirth, Orthodox Christians pray at home (read the canon) to the holy martyr Huar, who has the grace from God to intercede for the dead who were not worthy of Holy Baptism. From the life of the holy martyr Huar, it is known that through his intercession he delivered from eternal torment the relatives of the pious Cleopatra, who revered him, who were pagans.

Who is the newly departed, ever-remembered?

For forty days after the death of the deceased, they are called newly deceased. On memorable days for the deceased (death, name day, birth), he is called ever-remembered or ever-memorable.

What can be done for the deceased if he was buried without a funeral service?

If he was baptized in the Orthodox Church, then he must come to the church and order an absentee funeral service, as well as order magpies and memorial services.

Do the departed pray for us?

If the deceased is righteous, then he himself, being before the Throne of God, will respond to the love of those praying for him with his own fervent prayer. Is it necessary to serve a memorial service for a baby?

Dead babies are buried and memorial services are served for them, but in prayers they do not ask for forgiveness of sins (since babies do not consciously commit sins), but ask to be honored with the Kingdom of Heaven.

Is it possible to pray for the repose of suicides and remember them in church?

Suicide is based on disbelief in God's Providence and despair - these are mortal sins. Mortals, because they do not give room for repentance, remove God’s saving grace from man. A person voluntarily and completely surrenders himself to the power of the devil, blocks all paths to grace. How will the influence of this grace be possible for him? It is quite natural that the Church cannot offer a propitiatory Bloodless Sacrifice for such people and no prayer at all. If the person who took his own life was mentally ill or was driven to suicide by bullying and oppression (for example, in the army or in prison), then his funeral service may be blessed by the ruling bishop. To do this, a written petition must be submitted. Private, home prayer for the repose of suicides is not prohibited, but this must be done with the blessing of the confessor.

Is it possible to perform a funeral service in absentia for someone who died during the war if the place of his burial is unknown?

If the deceased was baptized, then a funeral service can be performed in absentia, and the soil received after the funeral in absentia must be sprinkled in a cross pattern on any grave in an Orthodox cemetery. The tradition of performing funeral services in absentia appeared in the twentieth century in Russia in connection with a large number those killed in the war, and since it was often impossible to perform a funeral service over the body of the deceased due to the lack of churches and priests, due to persecution of the Church and persecution of believers. There are also cases tragic death when it is impossible to find the body of the deceased. In such cases, a funeral service in absentia is permissible.

Is it true that on the 40th day, the commemoration of the deceased must be ordered in three churches at once, or in one, but three services in succession?

Immediately after death, it is customary to order a magpie from the Church. This is a daily intensified commemoration of the newly deceased during the first forty days - until the private trial, which determines the fate of the soul beyond the grave. After forty days, it is good to order an annual commemoration and then renew it every year. You can also order longer-term commemorations in monasteries. There is a pious custom - to order commemoration in several monasteries and churches (their number does not matter). The more prayer books there are for the deceased, the better.

Is it possible to order a memorial service for the deceased?

If he was baptized in the Orthodox Church, was not a fighter against God and did not commit suicide, then you can order a memorial service, and you can have the funeral service in absentia.

Is it true that suicides are commemorated on Radonitsa?

What to do if, believing this, they regularly submitted notes to the temple commemorating suicides?

The Church never prays for suicides. We must repent of what we did at Confession and not do it again. All doubtful questions should be resolved with the priest, and not believe rumors.

What is Parents' Saturday?

On certain days of the year, the Church commemorates all deceased Christians. The memorial services that take place on such days are called ecumenical, and the days themselves are called Ecumenical Parental Saturdays. On the morning of Parents' Saturdays, during the Liturgy, all departed Christians are remembered. After the Liturgy there are also general memorial services.

When are Parents' Saturdays?

Almost all parental Saturdays do not have a permanent date, but are associated with the moving day of Easter celebration. Meat Saturday occurs eight days before the start of Lent. Parents' Saturdays occur on the 2nd, 3rd and 4th weeks of Lent. Trinity Parental Saturday - on the eve of the Holy Trinity, on the ninth day after the Ascension. On the Saturday preceding the day of remembrance of the Great Martyr Demetrius of Thessalonica (November 8, new style) there is Dimitrievskaya Parental Saturday.

Is it possible to pray for repose after parental Saturday?

You can and should always pray for peace. This is the duty of the living to the deceased, an expression of love for them, since the deceased themselves can no longer pray for themselves. All Saturdays of the year that do not fall on holidays are dedicated to the remembrance of the dead. But you can pray for the departed, submit notes in church and order memorial services on any day.

What other days of remembrance of the dead are there?

Radonitsa - nine days after Easter, on Tuesday after Bright Week. On Radonitsa they share the joy of the Resurrection of the Lord with the deceased, expressing hope for their resurrection. The Savior Himself descended into hell to preach victory over death and brought from there the souls of the Old Testament righteous. Because of this great spiritual joy, the day of this commemoration is called “Rainbow”, or “Radonitsa”.

The commemoration of deceased soldiers is performed by the Orthodox Church on May 9, the holiday of Victory over Nazi Germany. Warriors killed on the battlefield are also remembered on the day of the Beheading of John the Baptist (September 11, new style).

Why do you need to bring food to the temple?

Believers bring various foodstuffs to the temple so that the ministers of the Church will remember the departed at a meal. These offerings serve as donations, alms for those who have passed away. In former times, in the courtyard of the house where the deceased was, on the most significant days for the soul (3rd, 9th, 40th) funeral tables were set, at which the poor, homeless, and orphans were fed, so that there would be many people praying for the deceased. For prayer and, especially for alms, many sins are forgiven, and the afterlife is made easier. Then these memorial tables began to be placed in churches on the days of the universal remembrance of all Christians who have died since centuries with the same purpose - to remember the departed.

What is eve?

Kanun (or eve) is a special table (square or rectangular) on which there is a Cross with a Crucifix and holes for candles. Before the eve there are funeral services. Candles are placed here and food can be placed to commemorate the dead.

What foods can you put on the eve?

Usually on the eve they put bread, cookies, sugar - everything that does not contradict fasting. You can donate lamp oil and Cahors oil for the eve. It is prohibited to bring meat food into the temple.

If a person died in a continuous week before Peter's Lent, does this mean anything?

Doesn't mean anything. The Lord only ends a person’s life when he sees him ready to move into eternity or when he sees no hope for his correction. “Do not hasten death by the errors of your life, and do not attract destruction to yourself by the works of your hands” (Wis. 1:12). “Do not indulge in sin, and do not be foolish: why should you die at the wrong time?” (Eccl. 7:17).

What soul does not go through ordeals after death?

From Holy Tradition it is known that even Mother of God, having received notification from the Archangel Gabriel about the approaching hour of Her relocation to heaven, prostrating herself before the Lord, she humbly begged Him so that, at the hour of the departure of Her soul, She would not see the prince of darkness and hellish monsters, but that the Lord Himself would accept Her soul into His Divine hands. Moreover, it is more useful for the sinful human race to think not about who does not go through ordeals, but about how to go through them and do everything to cleanse the conscience and correct life according to the commandments of God. “The essence of everything: fear God and keep His commandments, because this is everything for man; For God will bring every work into judgment, even every secret thing, whether it is good or evil” (Eccl. 12:13,14).

They say that those who die on Bright Week receive the Kingdom of Heaven. Is this true?

The posthumous fate of the dead is known only to the Lord. “Just as you do not know the ways of the wind and how the bones are formed in the womb of a pregnant woman, so you cannot know the work of God, who does all things” (Eccl. 11:5) He who lived godly, did good deeds, bore the cross, repented, confessed and received communion - by the grace of God he can be granted a blessed life in eternity and regardless of the time of death. And if a person spent his entire life in sins, did not confess or receive communion, but died on Bright Week, how can one say that he received Kingdom of Heaven?

Why is it necessary to receive communion on the days of remembrance of relatives: on the ninth, fortieth days after death?

There is no such rule. But it will be good if the relatives of the deceased get ready and partake of the Holy Mysteries of Christ, having repented, including of sins related to the deceased, forgive him all insults and ask for forgiveness themselves.

How many days do people mourn for the deceased?

There is a tradition of mourning for the deceased for forty days to a loved one, since on the fortieth day the soul of the deceased receives a certain place in which it will remain until the time of the Last Judgment of God. That is why, until the fortieth day, intense prayer is required for the forgiveness of the sins of the deceased, and the external wearing of mourning is intended to promote internal concentration and attention to prayer, and to prevent active involvement in previous everyday affairs. But you can have a prayerful attitude without wearing black clothes. The internal is more important than the external.

Is it necessary on the anniversary of death close relative go to the cemetery?

The main days of remembrance of the deceased are the anniversaries of death and namesake. The day of death is the day of the second birth, but for a new one - not earthly, but eternal life. Before visiting the cemetery, you should come to the church at the beginning of the service and submit a note with the name of the deceased for commemoration at the altar (it is better if it is commemorated at a proskomedia).

Is it possible to cremate the deceased?

Cremation is a custom alien to Orthodoxy, borrowed from Eastern cults. There is no prohibition in the sacred books to burn the bodies of the dead, but there are positive indications of Christian teaching on a different and only acceptable way of burying bodies - this is by committing them to the earth (see: Gen. 3:19; John 5:28; Matt. 27:59, 60). This method of burial, accepted by the Church from the very beginning of its existence and sanctified by it with a special rite, stands in connection with the entire Christian worldview and with its very essence - the belief in the resurrection of the dead. According to the strength of this faith, burial in the ground is an image of the temporary euthanization of the deceased, for whom the grave in the bowels of the earth is a natural bed of repose and who is therefore called by the Church the deceased (and according to the world - the deceased) until the resurrection. And if the burial of the bodies of the dead instills and strengthens the Christian faith in the resurrection, then the burning of the dead is easily related to the anti-Christian doctrine of non-existence. If the deceased wished to be cremated, it is not a sin to violate this dying will. Cremation may only be permitted if exceptional cases, when there is no way to bury the body of the deceased.

Is it possible to get married in the year of your mother's death?

There is no special rule in this regard. Let your religious and moral feeling itself tell you what to do. On all significant issues in life, one must consult a priest.

What to do if you dream of a dead person?

You don't need to pay attention to dreams. However, do not forget that forever living soul The deceased feels a great need for constant prayer for her, because she herself can no longer do good deeds with which she would be able to appease God. Therefore, prayer (in church and at home) for deceased loved ones is the duty of every Orthodox Christian.

What should you do if, after the death of a loved one, your conscience is tormented by the wrong attitude towards him during life?

A living person can do much more for a deceased person than when he was alive. The deceased are in great need of prayer and alms given for them. Therefore, we must devote all our strength to prayer: read the Psalter at home, submit notes of remembrance in church, feed the poor and homeless, help the old and sick and ask them to remember the deceased. And in order for your conscience to calm down, you need to go to church for Confession and sincerely tell the priest everything that it accuses you of.

What to do when visiting a cemetery?

Arriving at the cemetery, you need to clean up the grave. You can light a candle. If possible, invite a priest to perform the litia. If this is not possible, then you can read the short rite of lithium yourself by first purchasing the corresponding brochure in a church or Orthodox store. If you wish, you can read an akathist about the repose of the departed. Just be silent, remember the deceased.

Is it possible to have a “wake” in a cemetery?

Apart from the kutia consecrated in the temple, you should not eat or drink anything in the cemetery. It is especially unacceptable to pour vodka into a grave mound - this insults the memory of the deceased. The custom of leaving a glass of vodka and a piece of bread at the grave “for the deceased” is a relic of paganism and should not be observed by the Orthodox. There is no need to leave food on the grave - it is better to give it to the beggar or the hungry.

Is it necessary to go to the cemetery on Easter, Trinity, and Holy Spirit Day?

Sunday and holidays should be spent in prayer in the temple of God, and for visiting the cemetery there are special days of remembrance of the dead - parental Saturdays, Radonitsa, as well as anniversaries of death and namesake days of the deceased.

Information about all organizations providing funeral services, religious holidays and customs in Minsk and other cities of Belarus, you can find on the website of the directory of Ritual services

Fear of the unknown is a natural reaction that forces even the most notorious atheist, even to a minimal extent, to believe and adhere to certain rules behavior during the process, before and after the funeral.

In order to help the soul of the deceased easily leave the material world, you need not only to know the recommendations, but also to understand their deep meaning. Not everyone knows how to behave correctly if such grief occurs in a family. Therefore, we have compiled a detailed article describing the rules of what you can and cannot do.

In Orthodoxy, wakes after death are held 3 times. On the third day after death, on the ninth, fortieth. The essence of the ritual lies in the funeral meal. Relatives and friends gather at a common table. They remember the deceased, his good deeds, stories from his life.

— On the 3rd day after death (on the same day the funeral is held), everyone gathers to honor the memory of the deceased. The Christian is first taken to the funeral ceremony in a church or cemetery chapel. The unbaptized deceased, after saying goodbye to home, are immediately taken to the cemetery. Then everyone returns to the house for the wake. The family of the deceased does not sit at this memorial table.

— In the first seven days after a person’s death, do not take any things out of the house.

— On the 9th day after death, relatives go to the temple, order a memorial service, set a second memorial table at home, and only close relatives are invited to honor the memory of the deceased. The funeral is reminiscent of a family dinner, with the difference that the photo of the deceased is located not far from the refectory table. Next to the photograph of the deceased they place a glass of water or vodka and a slice of bread.

— On the 40th day after the death of a person, a third memorial table is held, everyone is invited. On this day, those who were unable to attend the funeral usually come to the wake. At church I order Sorokoust - forty liturgies.

- From the day of the funeral until the 40th day, remembering the name of the deceased, we must pronounce a verbal formula-amulet for ourselves and all the living. At the same time, the same words are a symbolic wish for the deceased: "Rest in peace to him", thereby expressing wishes for his soul to end up in heaven.

— After the 40th day and over the next three years, we will say a different wish formula: "The kingdom of heaven be upon him". Thus we wish the deceased afterlife in heaven. These words should be addressed to any deceased, regardless of the circumstances of his life and death. Guided by the biblical commandment “Judge not, lest ye be judged”.

- During the year following the death of a person, none of the family members has the moral right to take part in any holiday celebration.

- None of the family members of the deceased (including the second degree of kinship) could get married during the period of mourning.

- If a relative of the 1st -2nd degree of relationship has died in the family and not a year has passed since his death, then such a family does not have the right to paint eggs red for Easter (they must be white or some other color - blue, black , green) and accordingly take part in the celebrations of Easter night.

— After the death of her husband, the wife is prohibited from washing anything for a year on the day of the week on which the disaster occurred.

— For a year after death, everything in the house where the deceased lived remains in a state of peace or permanence: repairs cannot be made, furniture cannot be rearranged, nothing is given away or sold from the deceased’s belongings until the soul of the deceased reaches eternal peace.

- Exactly one year after death, the family of the deceased celebrates a memorial meal (“I please”) - the 4th, final memorial family-tribal table. It must be remembered that the living cannot be congratulated on their birthday in advance, and the final memorial table should be arranged either exactly a year later, or 1-3 days earlier.

On this day you need to go to the temple and order a memorial service for the deceased, go to the cemetery and visit the grave.

As soon as the last funeral meal is completed, the family is again included in the traditional scheme of holiday regulations folk calendar, becomes a full member of the community, has the right to take part in any family celebrations, including weddings.

— A monument can be erected on a grave only after a year has passed after the person’s death. Moreover, it is necessary to remember golden rule folk culture: “Don’t graze the earth Pakravou da Radaunschy.” This means if the year of the deceased fell at the end of October, i.e. after the Intercession (and for the entire subsequent period until Radunitsa), then the monument can only be erected in the spring, after Radunitsa.

— After installing the monument, the cross (usually a wooden one) is placed next to the grave for another year, and then thrown away. It can also be buried under a flower bed or under a gravestone.

— You can get married after the death of one of the spouses only after a year. If a woman got married a second time, then the rightful owner-owner new husband became only seven years later.

— If the spouses were married, then after the husband’s death the wife took his ring, and if she never married again, then both wedding rings were placed in her coffin.

- If the husband buried his wife, then she wedding ring remained with him, and after his death, both rings were placed in his coffin, so that, having met in the Kingdom of Heaven, they would say: “I brought our rings with which the Lord God crowned us.

— For three years, the birthday of the deceased and the day of his death are celebrated. After this period, only the day of death and all annual church holidays commemorating ancestors are celebrated.

Not all of us know how to pray, much less know prayers for the dead. Learn a few prayers that may help you find peace in your soul after an irreparable loss.

Visiting a cemetery throughout the year

During the first year and all subsequent years, you can go to the cemetery only on Saturdays (except 9, 40 days after death and church holidays veneration of ancestors, such as Radunitsa or Autumn Grandfathers). These are church-recognized days of remembrance of the dead. Try to convince your relatives that they should not constantly visit the grave of the deceased, as they are harming their health.
Visit the cemetery before 12 noon.
The way you come to the cemetery is the same way you return.

Meat Saturday is the Saturday in the ninth week before Easter.
Ecumenical Parental Saturday is the Saturday in the second week of Lent.
Ecumenical Parental Saturday is the Saturday in the third week of Lent.
Ecumenical Parental Saturday is the Saturday in the fourth week of Lent.
Radunitsa - Tuesday in the second week after Easter.
Trinity Saturday is the Saturday in the seventh week after Easter.
Dmitrievskaya Saturday - Saturday in the third week after.

How to dress appropriately for a death anniversary?

Clothes for a death anniversary are of no small importance. If you are planning a trip to the cemetery before the funeral dinner, you should take weather conditions into account. To attend church, women need to prepare a headdress (scarf).

Dress formally for all funeral events. Shorts, deep necklines, bows and ruffles will look indecent. It is better to exclude bright, variegated colors. Business and office suits, closed shoes, formal dresses in muted tones are an appropriate choice for a funeral date.

Is it possible to make repairs after a funeral?

According to signs not related to Orthodoxy, repairs in the house where the deceased lived cannot be done within 40 days. No changes can be made to the interior. In addition, all belongings of the deceased must be thrown away after 40 days. And on the bed on which a person died, his blood relatives are generally not allowed to sleep. From an ethical point of view, repairs will only refresh the state of those grieving. It will help you get rid of things that remind you of the person. Although many, in memory of a departed loved one, strive to keep something that belonged to him. According to signs, this is again not worth doing. Therefore there will be repairs good decision in all cases.

Is it possible to clean up after a funeral?

While the deceased is in the house, you cannot clean or take out the trash. According to legends, it is believed that the rest of the family members will die. When the deceased is removed from the house, the floor must be thoroughly washed. Blood relatives are prohibited from doing this. Orthodox Church also denies this point and considers it superstition.

40 days after death are a special date, since it is at this time that a verdict is passed, determining the place for the soul where it will be until the Last Judgment.

If you want the deceased to go to a better place, then you need to pray for him, because this is a sure way to change the verdict in favor of a better option.

But you can pray for suicides only if the priest has blessed you to do so. It is also prohibited to submit any notes for suicides.

Commemoration means remembrance. Initially, they were arranged for poor people who, having tasted the food, could pray for the deceased. There is no point in calling loved ones, especially non-believers, for a memorial, since they will not bring any benefit to the deceased. Simply being present at a wake does not mean that such people were remembered.

You should definitely visit the cemetery: stay close to the grave and remember the bright moments in your life associated with this person. At this time, you can consider what kind of permanent headstone will be installed - an affordable marble monument or.

40 days after death - how to remember the dead

Only with sincere prayer can you remember a person. That is why it is advisable to gather believers at the funeral service who will pray for the deceased. A commemoration is needed to establish a connection with the soul of the deceased, and if this is not achieved, then there is no point in commemoration.

I would like people to understand that the table during the wake, when it comes 40 days after death, should not shine gourmet dishes and accordingly drinks.
Food should be as simple as possible, and preferably lean. Food should encourage you to pray, and this is what simple food is ideal for.

According to Orthodox traditions, at every funeral there should be such a dish as kutia. It symbolizes rebirth and happiness in the future. The funeral begins with a special prayer over kutya, then everyone present must taste only one spoon of this dish. It has already been mentioned that lean food fits well on the table, especially during fasting times. It is best to follow all the rules of fasting, in this way we show the Lord that we follow all the commandments and express our great love victims.

At the wake, we try to get closer to the deceased, we do everything possible to create some kind of sacred connection, but alcohol at the wake will in no way allow us to find it. Drinking man harms the deceased, he only moves away from him. The soul of the drunkard will be separated from the soul that goes to Best place. In hell, every soul remains completely alone. That is why we must do everything so that within forty days after death the scales tip in favor of the Holy Place.

If the wake does not fall during Lent, then you still need to avoid dishes that are created only to fill you up. At a memorial, the main thing is prayers, not food; prayers are important here, not pleasing the guests.

The table at a wake should be arranged based on the following rules: it is better to avoid alcohol altogether, it is of no use, lean or the simplest food is conducive to prayers. You can do more good by donating money to charity rather than organizing a luxurious table. Set your priorities.

Under no circumstances should a wake be perceived as a gathering of all relatives, as social event or a feast. It is very important to remember that the most important action should be prayers in the name of the deceased.
If you are afraid that the deceased cannot find peace or want to console him in the next world, go to the priest for confession before all prayers. There is nothing more pleasant for the deceased than confession. Confessing all your sins and continuing to pray in church is the best thing you can do for the soul of the deceased.

Why is this so important? Because we acquire harmony, we become close to the Lord and loved ones. Thanks to this, prayer becomes so powerful and brings benefit and joy to the deceased.

In the name of the deceased, renounce any sin. This will also give him peace and comfort. Even if you cannot pray, but you renounce some sin at least for some time, then such actions will also be counted as a sacrifice and will serve the benefit of the one for whom all this is being done. For example, you can give up some bad habit: quit smoking or give up alcohol. Everyone will only be better off from this.

As for hanging mirrors, in fact, this is a rather useless action. But what you can do is stop watching TV, at least for forty days. Those watching TV are very far from spiritual intimacy with the deceased and, accordingly, they will not be able to honor him with their prayers or actions.

All these thoughtless programs only dull and kill everything spiritual in a person for a very long time. By giving up TV, we will not only become closer to the human soul, but also enrich our inner world. In addition, when we watch TV, the soul of the deceased, watching us, becomes disappointed in us, because instead of praying, we spend time mindlessly watching the TV. The whole meaning of past efforts is lost, all connection is lost. All sacred actions were in vain, because we ourselves harm the connection that we tried so hard to maintain.

Do not indulge in fun and entertainment during these forty days. After all, during mourning it is not customary to have fun and have fun, otherwise this time would not be called mourning at all. Fun only breaks that close connection with the deceased. While celebrating something, we completely forget about our main responsibility, we plunge into an atmosphere of fun and again lose the fragile connection that is so difficult to find again. Let us not ruin all our efforts by indulging in primitive entertainment. You will still have time to have fun, and perhaps soon, but only forty days after death is clearly not this time. Try to control yourself.

How to dress for 40 days after death

What is the role of mourning clothing? It is very important to show mourning outwardly, to wear appropriate clothing, because it helps to maintain strictness and maintain proper behavior, as well as encourage prayer. However, we must remember that mourning is expressed not only by clothing, but also by the state of mind. Therefore, of course, you need to first take care of your state of mind rather than appearance, since clothing is only an auxiliary attribute for achieving that very state of mind.

Everything in a person is closely connected, the state of the soul depends on the position of the body and, accordingly, on clothing. That's why it's important that your clothes are simple and strict, not pretentious or revealing. No decorativeness, practical attire - that's it. Perhaps everyone has noticed that when clothes do not match the surroundings, you feel uncomfortable, and also that clothes partly set the tone for your mood, which is why inappropriate clothing will distract you from the most important thing at a funeral after 40 days after death - from prayers .

Forget about open outfit, he is completely out of place here, and besides, he will only upset the soul of the deceased due to the manifestation of real disrespect for him. By caring about style, you pay less attention to prayers, thereby you bring with you negative energy, which will only be to the detriment of the deceased, who so needs our prayers to find complete peace and tranquility.

Therefore, when you gather for a wake, think first of all about the deceased, about how exactly you can make his fate easier, how to make sure that he ends up in a better world.

The death of a person is always a difficult event for those who knew him. For family and friends, this is a particularly painful loss. Funeral services take place on the third, ninth and fortieth day after death. In order to carry them out correctly, you need to know what 40 days after death mean and how to remember the deceased. Typically, there are many traditions associated with this day that are necessary to help the deceased person.

This is the so-called “border” that lies between earthly and eternal life. This date is a kind of reminder to humanity that after death the soul appears before its Heavenly Father, and it is even more tragic than physical death.

Where is the soul of the deceased all this time? Often at first people feel the presence of the deceased, smells, sighs, steps. This can be explained by the fact that until the fortieth day the spirit does not leave its habitat.

40 days after death - what does it mean?

At first the soul is free and is usually found in places that are important to it. On the third day a memorial service is held.

Then she meets God, the saints and visits heaven, the entrance to which may be closed. That is why the spirit begins to experience anxiety and fear for the mistakes made during earthly life. On the ninth day, a wake and memorial service are held.

After the ninth day, the soul goes through predetermined tests and obstacles. All good and bad deeds are compared. On the fortieth day comes the Last Judgment, during which it is decided what will happen eternal life in Heaven or Hell.

How to pray and remember the dead?

Every believer is obliged to remember the dead. Prayers should be especially diligent at the very beginning, because they make it easier to cope with an irreparable loss. And on the 40th day, prayer is said at home or in church. In the house, the female part of the family ties a scarf on their heads, and candles are lit in front of the image of the Lord.

When at a cemetery, liturgy or memorial service, postponing the commemoration is strictly prohibited. In other cases, if it is not possible to remember the deceased on the fortieth day, this can be done earlier.

On the 40th day, a memorial dinner is held, during which the deceased is remembered and prayed for his repose. The funeral dinner should include the following dishes:

kutia made from rice or millet;
rich pancakes;
pies with various fillings;
meat dishes;
fish dishes;
salads from lean products;
the deceased's favorite dish;
dessert (cookies, sweets, cheesecakes, pies).

To carry out a farewell ceremony with a loved one, it is customary to come to the cemetery on funeral days with an even number of flowers and a candle. It is forbidden to make noise, eat food or drink alcohol at the grave. As a treat for the deceased, you can leave a plate of kutya taken from home at the grave.

For forty days, it is customary to distribute cookies, sweets or pastries to people so that they can remember the deceased.

When do you need to order a memorial service for 40 days?

At this time, visiting the temple is mandatory. They pray there, order a memorial service and celebrate the magpie. The most important prayer is the one said at the liturgy. An obligatory bloodless sacrifice is offered to the Lord.

The memorial service is served before the eve - a special table on which gifts are left for the needs of the temple and in memory of the deceased. Litiya is held if a memorial service is not scheduled on the appointed day.

Sorokoust is carried out from the day of death until the fortieth day, and when this time ends, sorokoust is allowed to be repeated again. The timing of commemoration can be extended.

Traditions and rituals

Since ancient times, many different customs have developed regarding the 40 days, but the church confirms only a small part. Well-known traditions are presented below:

For forty days it is advisable not to devote special attention clothes, do not cut your hair.
When setting the table for a funeral dinner, cutlery in the form of knives and forks is strictly prohibited; spoons are placed with the notch down.
The crumbs remaining on the table must be collected and taken to the grave - in this way the deceased is informed that there has been a wake.
You can also take food from your home with you to the funeral, for example, some pancakes or pies.
Doors and windows must be tightly closed at night. It is forbidden to cry - because of this, the soul of the deceased may be attracted.
On the bedside table or table you need to leave a glass, which is filled with vodka and covered with a piece of bread. If the soul drinks from there, then the amount of liquid will decrease.
Until forty days you cannot crack the seeds. There are several explanations for this ban. Firstly, because of this, the soul of the deceased may be spit on. Secondly, those who violated the ban may later for a long time teeth hurt. Thirdly, in this way you can attract evil spirits.
It is customary to distribute spoons for forty days. In ancient times they distributed wooden spoons from the funeral dinner, now you can distribute ordinary spoons. Thus, while using this cutlery, a person will involuntarily remember the deceased. On the other hand, there is a superstition that it is impossible to distribute various dishes from a funeral for forty days - they act as a participant in the farewell ritual and can bring bad events or even death to a person.

Important signs for forty days after death

There are a large number of superstitions that are associated with this date. However, it is worth mentioning and knowing the most famous of them:

The house cannot be cleaned for forty days.
The night light or candle should always be on.
In various reflective surfaces, a deceased person may appear and take the living one with him, so until the fortieth day, everything that has mirror surfaces, for example, televisions, mirrors, etc., is covered with a cloth.
During a wake, forty days after death, a place is allocated for the deceased, where they place a plate and a glass covered with a piece of bread.
The widow's head must be covered with a black scarf all the time until forty days, otherwise the woman may incur damage to herself.
Every day a towel and a glass filled with water are placed on the windowsill so that the soul has the opportunity to wash itself.

It is important to remember that the 40-day commemoration is not a celebration or celebration. This is a time of mourning, forgiveness. At this time, it is strictly forbidden to sing any songs, listen to music, or drink alcohol.

During the 1-2 hours during which the wake takes place, believers pray for the deceased and remember him. The funeral dinner should be attended exclusively by Christians - they will help the family share in this hard time, provide her with spiritual support.

Funeral speech at a funeral text - farewell words spoken in memory of the deceased by his family and friends. They are pronounced over the grave of the buried with all their hearts. The speaker talks about important and significant events associated with this person, his achievements, and also speaks on the good side about the character and personality of the deceased. It is advisable if he says this orally, and not reads it from a piece of paper.

Funeral speech

Quite a lot of people attend funerals and wakes. Mostly these are relatives and friends of the deceased, but there are others - colleagues, acquaintances, school friends and others. As a rule, the head of the family or the oldest and closest person is the first to pronounce the funeral words. In the event that he is in a strong emotional state, then others present can give a speech at the wake.

Funeral speech example:

“My grandmother was a wonderful person with a difficult but interesting fate. Her along with three younger brothers and her sister were raised by her mother alone in the difficult post-war years. To say that they lived poorly then would be an understatement. She had to endure many difficulties and hardships, but she never lost her optimism and presence of mind, constantly helping her mother and taking care of the younger members of the family. And later, having married her military grandfather, she steadfastly endured all the hardships of service. In any circumstances, she always maintained exemplary order at home and taught all family members to do so. Grandma was sometimes strict, but fair. I am glad that I managed to learn from her neatness and order, the ability to organize my life. And her famous apple pies were simply incomparable, no one else could do anything like them! I will always remember you, my dear, beloved grandmother! Your warmth, love and care will remain with us forever.”

If others don’t know you well, then at the beginning of your speech you should introduce yourself and explain under what circumstances you met the deceased. The funeral speech should contain words of gratitude towards the deceased and reflect his positive qualities. You can mention any significant moment that occurred with the participation of the deceased.

Funeral words for 40 days:

“I’ll introduce myself for those who don’t know me: my name is (name). We have worked together with (name of deceased) for the past few years and I would like to say a few words in memory of him. He was a true professional in his field, a specialist with capital letters. Many of our colleagues, young and not only, learned the basics of their craft from him and often used his advice and help. He was very patient and responsive, he could always listen to everyone who turned to him for support, advise something, help out, and never refused anyone’s requests. He could perfectly lift the spirits of anyone who was upset, confused or depressed about something. The countless funny stories, toasts, jokes and anecdotes he told could amuse anyone. We will all greatly miss him at our dinner gatherings and corporate events, where he invariably shone at the table, lifting our morale. There is no other person like him in our team. And maybe it won’t be in my memory anymore. We will all miss him greatly. Until the end of his life, he will remain in my memory and the memory of all our colleagues as an example of perseverance, sparkling cheerfulness, activity and professionalism! Rest in peace, dear colleague!”

It is advisable if you prepare the words for the wake in advance and memorize them. Because a well-formulated text will sound good and be perceived by others. And sluggish, boring speech with hesitations can be regarded as disrespect for the deceased and his family. If you are afraid that you will forget the words, you can take with you a piece of paper with a sample of the funeral speech. You need to pronounce words clearly and slowly. You need to speak confidently and so that others can hear you, but not too loudly.

Speech at a wake examples

Funeral words on the anniversary of death (from a colleague):

"Friends! The deceased worked honestly at the (name) enterprise for more than twenty years. We all knew him as decent, honest and modest man. They were valued for their skillful hands and reliable character. We will miss his many invisible but irreplaceable contributions to the work! The bright memory of him will remain in our hearts!”

Speech at the wake 1 year (from friends):

“Friends, the best of us has gone to another world. We are all deeply saddened. Our souls are bleeding from untimely loss. The deceased was a support to all of us. He was the first to help and did not wait for requests or complaints. His kind heart and wide soul were always open. He was a clear beacon and guide in the complex and dangerous world for all of us, his friends! May the soul of this magnificent man rest in peace! We will always remember him with a feeling of light sadness mixed with secret melancholy!”

Memorial speech for 40 days (from relatives):

“All his life, our father was a worthy example not only to his children, but also to those around him. In everyday life, he demonstrated a wise understanding of true values, kindness and devotion. Any person left him with an enlightened soul. And to us, his children, our father instilled a love for people, a high sense of responsibility and devotion to the Motherland. We consider his departure unfairly early. Eternal, blessed memory to him!”

“Our grandfather was a very kind and good person. His path was long and difficult. He perceived all the difficulties that befell the country as his own. He worked and raised children without complaining about the lack of benefits, lack of food or amenities. He raised children and was a support for his grandchildren. This magnificent man will be greatly missed by all of us. May his memory be blessed!”

Words of condolences are expressed not only during funerals, but also on days of remembrance of the deceased. They say a speech at the wake 40 days, a year after the date of death, and also during Parents' Saturdays and others Orthodox holidays. Speeches can be made both at the cemetery and during funeral dinners.

What do they say at wakes? At this event, all deceased relatives and friends are remembered. They remember what they were like during life, what they were interested in, what they loved. Words of condolences are spoken and the blessed memory of the deceased is honored. It is forbidden to say anything bad about the deceased or to recall old grievances. It’s either good or nothing, says the popular saying.

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Funeral poems

In addition to the funeral speech, condolences can be expressed in poetry or toasts. These options are more suitable for a wake than for the funeral itself. For example, memorial poems are read on the anniversary of death. They can be written with your own hand or taken ready-made. If you do not have the opportunity to personally attend the wake, you can express your condolences by posting memorial poems in the newspaper.

***
Two tears fell into the flowers,
Two big, pink roses!
From my tormented soul
Hopeless tears rolled out!
They see my wet eyes
Something they don't believe in at all
What you can never change
What is measured with pain and tears!
My heart beats stubbornly
And desperately doesn't want to know
That you can no longer see your beloved eyes,
And you can no longer hug your dear ones!!!

***
You have always been an example to us,
As a person with a pure soul.
And the memory of you is alive
In the hearts and souls of your loved ones.

***
People close to us are leaving.
Do not realize that - forever,
Do not exhaust all the pain of separation,
And he hits backhand - never.

We won't see them, we won't hear them,
We won't ask, we won't talk,
Although, as before, we breathe them,
We love them, we wait for them, we adore them.

Ridiculous, strange, impossible,
That dawn has come again,
Call, scream or cry heart-rendingly,
And there are no more loved ones nearby.

***
We cannot understand or comprehend
Can't survive, can't overcome,
That the chariot of life circles,
As it was before, exactly the same.

The sun is shining and the air is so fresh,
What days it is, but it’s very sad.
Gone is the beautiful hope from hopes
And again my heart is sad and empty.
There has been silence in the apartment for six months now,
Everything there is yours and it’s hard to believe in it.
I would drink the cup of grief to the dregs,
But it still cannot be measured.
I really want to come to you again,
Kiss and just be with you.
With hope to resist in the fight,
Argue with illness and disease.
The further you go, the more immeasurable the depth
The abyss that has come between us
Like you now, like in childhood, I need you,
But it is impossible to beg with tears.
I'm strong, you know I can do it
After all, you and I have been through so much.
I am forever in your debt,
You are an eternal piece in my world.
I'll bring you flowers and stand
And the heart will touch with its wound.
And you will feel how much I love you
My beloved, only mother.

***
Memorial verses for 1 year:
You died too early
Words cannot express our pain.
Sleep, dear, you are our pain and wound,
The memory of you is always alive.

***
We come here
To put flowers,
It’s very difficult, dear,
We can live without you.

***
The Great Tribulation cannot be measured,
Tears won't help my grief.
You are not with us, but forever
You will not die in our hearts.

***
Where do all the dreams go?
And why don't they return?
How we experience pain
After all, they were happy once.
Like waking up every day
Understand that this is all reality,
How painful it is to remember that day
When everything in life changed.

***
My soul is worried without you,
You don't need girlfriends or friends.
Why is it possible without millions?
Why is it impossible without one?

***
I don't rock you in your crib
I come again to the cold fence
I will fix the fallen wreath
And I will sing to you, dear son...

***
They usually leave without saying goodbye,
Without whispering yours last words,
Possibly in long journey without intending to
In that long journey dreams and dreams.
Just yesterday they smiled sweetly at us,
Their eyes emitted a bright light,
And as always, waiting for us to visit,
We dreamed of giving our friendly advice.
They, like all of us, really wanted to live,
And every moment brought them joy,
We didn’t have time to do everything we wanted to do,
They still had so much strength.
At some point, everything broke off,
Someone from above told them their deadline,
The soul rushed about in confusion,
That she didn’t even have time to tell us a few words.
Even if they are not with us, we love them,
And we remember joyful days,
And our heart will never forget them,
It’s as if they are somewhere nearby.

***
We are sad and sad
And there are no other feelings.
Let's remember all the parents,
Let's remember all our relatives!

Let's remember all those who have passed away,
In the prime of his life,
Brothers and sisters of the dead,
Friends and strangers!

They once lived
And they made us happy
Laughed and loved
They took care of us.

A long time ago or recently
They are no longer with us
And reverently to the grave
We bring a bouquet!

In fast-flowing time
We don’t remember other things,
But you are family to us
More alive than all the living!

We ask You, Lord,
About mercy alone,
Forgive their sins, Lord,
May their souls rest!
***
Among those who love there is agreement
Among the lonely there is only pain
Among those deceived by love - revenge
And among the dead - memory and separation

***
Death took you away on a path of no return
And brought me beyond the boundaries of existence.
Here I dissolved in the quiet echo of the alarm
A life lived “in Russian” is yours.
And all that was in the heart before was pain and rage,
Dreams, hopes, faith and love -
In the space of space it suddenly invisibly disintegrated,
But maybe it will be reborn in someone again.
And there are white-trunked birches near the grave,
When the moon is silent in the night,
Tears and dew fall before the clear dawns of the earth,
That the mother's eyes did not drain to the bottom.

***
Your watch has stopped. how you didn’t want to leave!!!
But the heart has stopped beating, and we can’t bring you back,
You've been through a lot in your life,
War and famine, but you survived in spite of everyone.
Your clock ticks in your friends' houses, everyone loved you! you've always been lucky!
Giving life to your family’s watches, you poured your breath into them.
You lubricated their hearts and eased the hours of suffering.
But you couldn’t help yourself, and it’s useless to lubricate your heart.
I didn’t win in this fight, I gave my all, I gave everything for free.
We gave you the warmth of our hearts, and we were always with you,
Our dear grandfather, father-in-law, father and father-in-law,
You were so afraid to be alone, you were so afraid to be with yourself.
But the black hag came to you, swinging her scythe and hitting you straight in the heart.
The clock has stopped, but the soul
Stayed with us, we are always with you, we are together.
February, frost, trees without leaves, and we haven’t learned to live without you.
You wanted to be with us so much, but alas
Your watch has stopped...

Funeral toasts

Funeral toasts at a wake are usually said at the table. They do not necessarily specify the identity of the deceased. You can express general condolences to all the deceased:

The grandfather sat in heaven and wept bitterly. A boy came up to him and asked why he was grieving. The old man answered him:
- There is a custom on earth - to drink for the repose of our souls. And then we are always full and with a full jug of wine. We are glad that the children remember us. And now I have an empty jug and that’s why I’m sad.
So let's drink to those who are not with us!

Friends, today is a day of sorrow. There was a time when we had fun and rejoiced with someone who left us. But today you and I drink this cup of sorrow ourselves, having spent last path someone close to us. Not everyone in the world was honored with the Dormition, like the Mother of God and other holy people. But we will keep in our hearts the good memory of our friend, having hope for the resurrection and new meeting in a new place. Let's drink to the dregs the wine of sadness!

IN wolf pack the leader died suddenly without leaving a will. The wolves announced a meeting to elect a new leader. For three days they argued and squabbled, because each was afraid that the new leader would begin to take revenge on those who voted against him. When they were already hoarse from screaming, the old wise wolf stood up and said:
- Let's choose someone from outside our pack to be an impartial leader.
Everyone agreed and asked who. Then the wise old wolf suggested choosing a goat as leader. The wolves began to be indignant:
- We just didn’t have enough goats yet!
But the wise old wolf explained:
- Even though he is a goat, he has one advantage: if he starts causing chaos, he can always be bullied.
The wolves agreed with a laugh and called the goat. When they brought the goat trembling with fear, they said to him:
- Listen carefully! We will choose you as our leader if you don’t act like a jerk.
The goat became even more frightened and replied:
- I'm a goat. But I renounce my asshole past. I swear I will never be an asshole again.
The wolves made an approving noise and dedicated the goat to their leader.
“Now you are our leader,” said the old wise wolf. - You can order us whatever you want, and we will obey. Our fate is in your hands.
All the wolves, with their tails between their legs, nodded affirmatively and asked the goat to make a speech. The goat quickly jumped onto the rock, spread his legs wider, fluffed out his beard, stuck out his horns, looked around the silent flock with a slow gaze and bleated sternly:
- Well, which one of us is the goat?
So let's remember our glorious leaders!

Toasts at a wake can also be expressed in poetic form:

Blessed memory of those who have left us,
Let's drink to this now.
Let it be like granite in our hearts,
Preserves the memory of loved ones who have passed away.
Let all the good things that happened to them
A damp grave will not bury you.
No matter how long we keep the memory,
He will live with us for that long.

Funeral notes

You can also honor the memory of the deceased with the help of memorial notes. In churches there is a special table where there is a memorial note sample on which you can write it. A cross is placed at the very top of the sheet and marked “for repose.” Then they write full names deceased in genitive case and in church writing (for example, Ivan - John), neatly and legibly. Usually about ten to fifteen names are written. Moreover, everyone who is written there must be baptized in the Orthodox Church.

In addition to the names, the note indicates which deceased person is: newly deceased - deceased for forty days after death or ever-memorable (worthy of constant remembrance) - deceased who has a memorable date on this day.

When going to a funeral or wake, it is important to remember etiquette. You need to behave delicately and tactfully. It is worth preparing words of condolences, which can be expressed through a funeral speech, memorial poems or toasts. An appropriate and competent speech will be appreciated with gratitude by the family and friends of the deceased.