Comic horoscope for the new year. Comic horoscope for Sagittarius

The Year of the Yellow Earth Dog will begin on February 16, 2018 at 01:05 Moscow time.

Do you remember everything? So, my dear Podkalinye, we have to endure the machinations of the Fire Rooster for another month and a half and observe poetic safety precautions.

However, according to tradition, I will risk politely looking under the underwear of the Zodiac signs for the fifth time. Radiologists and clairvoyants are welcome :)

However, anyone can predict by turning on logic and artistic thinking at full volume. It is enough to feel the same switch. Where? But this is where self-service begins...

ARIES: You will have everything, the golden fleece and the sky the size of a sheepskin. So make sure you have a large kissing dog in your repertoire, such as a Caucasian Shepherd with higher education and high athletic training. And then you will fully feel the warm cover from the rear, lush pastures from the flanks and a sea of love ahead. Oh, well, that’s how I see it, why laugh right away?

TAURUS:(torreodors, please don't worry) Do you know why? big people love small pets with an inexplicable love? Because they definitely need to protect, save, protect someone. Not to mention breastfeeding and sacrificing skin. This is your case. You will have many chances to show your rescue ambitions in this unsaveable world. Unless, of course, laziness takes its toll on a full stomach. So don't relax too much, and then many little noisy friends will be proud of those they tamed...

TWINS: But one dog is not enough for you, take both. Preferably, burdened with intelligence. One will help to sow reasonable-good-eternal things, and the second will correct what they have done with desperate barks of repentance and oaths that this will not happen again. And no “money in the morning, chairs in the evening”! Only immediately from hand to hand and without leaving the cash register. Otherwise, you never know what kind of dog waltz might spin you around in the evening...

CANCER: In general, you are parallel and violet with both a rooster and a dingo when they are outside your pond and do not have any culinary views on you. At night and in good mood you can even whistle to an individual howling at the moon, but again, only on someone else’s territory. And on your own there are only two main enemies: the dog fisherman and the beer stall, which casts an ominous shadow on the mirror-like surface of your shelter from spring to autumn. My job is to warn...

LION:(noble) History knows many cases when a mother dog fed lion cubs like her own, and a reveler dog, who accidentally entered the enclosure, became his best friend. And even for a hungry Leo. There is something in this connection between cats and dogs, so the year will be good, regardless of the breed of the dog, but depending on the nobility of the king of beasts...

VIRGO: Natural tamers of the obstinate can handle any dog, right? At the same time, both the carrot and the stick pure heart, generously and according to the merits of the victim. This is the year of your hidden and obvious opportunities, take it for future use so that it will last for the next 11 years. But remember: only one can become your faithful guide, hearth keeper and tracker. And let it be Dog with a capital D...

SCALES: It's hard to say what this sign will choose. After all, he needs to announce the entire list of breeds with pedigree, weigh them all, measure them, evaluate them... and definitely choose the wrong one. To admit a mistake and start over. On the other hand, we still need to look for a Yellow Earth Dog that would voluntarily agree to have its soul cut open with a vegetable knife. So an unpredictable year is in a sense predictable...)

SCORPION: If you still adhere to the principle “one step from hate to love,” then in the coming year there will be plenty of causes and consequences for such steps. But there is no need to bite the unbitable and waste poison on something that is already poisonous. Otherwise, it will be a year of step-by-step reciprocity without the right to correspondence. But what a powerful motivation for creativity! Take advantage, there can never be too many masterpieces...

SAGITTARIUS: Well, here everything will be only in tandem with a Partner and, preferably, without any arrogance. If you show your teeth, then together, and not like last time. If a collar, then voluntarily. If on a tight leash, then for the safety of others. Do not drink from a hoof, do not eat from a trough, even if you really want to. Don't get carried away looking for black cats in a dark room when they are not there. And finally learn to distinguish a Spitz from an Arctic fox...

CAPRICORN: There is hardly a dog that would risk provoking you to respond with force. And if there is one, it will not be Yellow or Earthy. Ignore her, she was fatally mistaken. Otherwise it will be good year to realize your magical natural powers and chronic ambitions. Just don’t let yourself be led around by your nose (or horn) for show, like that elephant from the fable. Excessive attention is tiring, and guides are expensive, don’t forget about it...

AQUARIUS: And yes, you will have someone to compete with in eloquence, discus (fan?) throwing and biathlon. I don’t know why in biathlon, it’s said so from above. Well, it’s not worth mentioning your unsinkability once again. Although in some cases a cork vest and fins will not hurt for speed of movement in troubled waters controversy. And finally, you will agree that pouring water on the wheels of history and swimming in the water that flows out from under them are not the same thing...

FISH: It's definitely your year. The dog barks, the school swims. This is the same caravan, only in the water. But this year you are advised to remove signs from the beaches that say “Swimming with dogs is prohibited.” It’s better to hang others, for example: “Don’t throw garbage into the water, dogs swim here!” I understand that it’s weak, but it’s necessary, fish, it’s necessary. I'll tell you one real case. One Pisces lady had six veiled tails in an aquarium and one spaniel under it on the rug. But one day the lady heard a strange slap and ran into that room with a bad feeling. Oh horror, goldfish jumped out of the aquarium and struggled in a bowl of dry dog food! Even the spaniel covered his muzzle with his paws out of fear and crawled under the rug. The lady was not at a loss and instantly returned the fugitive to her native environment. Naturally, without washing it off... And then the other veils rushed to remove the trophy crumbs from her. And the next day there were already three fish testing their fate in and around the bowl, fortunately the lady was nearby.

Well, and a happy ending: ta-daaam! On the third day, all six plopped down in a friendly golden flock into the coveted bowl. And what did the Fish Lady see? The spaniel carefully took them into his mouth one at a time and took them to the aquarium...

So, my dears, not only the house manager best friend person.

With secret hope for the best,

The year of the warlike Fire Rooster is coming to an end. From February 16 to eastern calendar, the year of the Yellow Earth Dog will come.

Let's find out what the year of the Yellow Earth Dog has in store for us? What needs to be done to make the coming 2018 successful?

As you know, the Dog obeys the element Earth, which is associated with rest, peace and harmony. The name itself determines that the predominant color of the year will be yellow - the color of the Sun, comfort, and warmth.

Year of the Yellow Earth Dog

The dog is a peace-loving creature, faithful, kind, and devoted to humans. This means the year will be peaceful, calm and warm in all respects. And for him to be like this, let’s listen to what the Earth Dog recommends to us.

Brief horoscope for 218 according to the signs of the Zodiac

Let's start according to all the rules of astrologers.

ARIES

Aries is honest, bold, quick-tempered, and at times picky. He will give a worthy fight to all sloths, that is why he is so proud!

For the year to be extremely successful and especially successful, Aries needs to show the best traits of his character. Then no one will doubt his nobility. Good nature and goodwill are the traits that should accompany Aries throughout the year. He needs them more than ever before.

To do this, it is imperative to moderate the exorbitant temper and curb the notorious assertiveness, and also reduce ambitions and emotions. Then worthy partners with lucrative offers will be drawn to Aries.

And emotions, they will come in handy when he goes on vacation.

Good advice

The Yellow Dog recommends travel to England, Germany and Italy, where painting and music will be in complete harmony with the spiritual sensations of Aries. And also Georgia, where the beauty of the mountains will fill their world with new colors.

TAURUS

Our Taurus is worthy of praise, because in life he is calm. But a stubborn person is one who cannot live without worries. Sweet and loyal, but not sure about many things. Money is valued by this sign; everyone values it.

For Taurus, 2018 will bring many good changes, especially in career terms. The main thing is not to be childish, communicate more with colleagues and friends, and not go into silence. Expand your knowledge, make new acquaintances, don’t be sad about the past and be more optimistic.

Taurus should go on vacation to Australia, which will allow him to wholeheartedly enjoy the peace of the green continent. Or to Ireland, Poland, where he can not only have a great time, but also successfully resolve business issues with partners.

Well, how can you disagree?

The main thing is to be decisive, and the Dog will give Taurus a great year!

TWINS

Our Geminis are obstinate and sometimes fussy. It’s not a sin for them to be more serious; a sharp mind promises success!

For Gemini, the Earth Dog recommends focusing on one profitable project. You should not fuss in vain and reduce your ambition a little, and also hide away the manifestation of sudden aggression. Then success in business and conquest will come career ladder will not seem so difficult and unrealistic.

The main thing is to dream correctly

The Dog recommends visiting Canada, Belgium, or Egypt in the coming year. There, Gemini will not only have a good rest, but will also find new ways to achieve success and realize their risky ideas.

CANCER

Noble Cancer rejoices, in the year of the Dog he gets high. I wouldn’t rush to get high, it’s time to crawl out of my shell.

For Cancer, the Year of the Dog will not be entirely simple. To really achieve something, Cancer needs to be more open, not react so sharply to outside criticism, and be less emotional and touchy. And hide your vanity away.

Great medicine!

Cancer's travel plans include Holland or Australia. And hot Africa will amuse you. But you don’t have to go on a trip alone, because loneliness is strictly contraindicated for Cancer. A friendly Dog will try to surround Cancer with a friendly atmosphere and loved ones.

LION

A proud Leo is a reliable friend, everyone around him praises him. And how can one not praise, one must live with strength in friendship.

Strong-willed and temperamental Leo is a power-hungry personality. But in order to maintain friendship and a good attitude towards him, the Dog advises Leos to moderate the manifestation of their royalty, to be noble in their attitude towards those who are weaker.

For 2018 to be successful, Leo should not lie on his side for a long time. The Dog does not like lazy people. Leo's hard work will be rewarded with excellent rest.

And really, what difference does it make...

A trip to France or Italy will bring a sea of positive emotions to the royal beast. Morocco is also suitable.

VIRGO

Virgos are very patient and extremely thrifty. They are as accurate as all clocks, and will soon be replaced by Libra.

What's calm and modest person necessary for happiness. Not so much. A good trip in the company of great friends or a loved one is quite suitable.

The Marine Station is also suitable

Such a trip could be a trip to Greece, or to Israel. Since Virgos are very thrifty, they may not decide to make such expenses. The Earth Dog hints to close people not to skimp and give Virgo a trip to distant lands.

SCALES

Libras are very romantic, gentle, kind and non-critical. They can be creative at times. But the comfort... Eh! He drags them home.

They say that the Dog has prepared for Libra special year. He will be very lucky if Libra, known for his curiosity, devotes time to deep knowledge of the World or directs his energy to the struggle to preserve environment. Diplomacy and intelligence will help Libra in this matter.

But you should be more decisive in your actions, not endlessly weigh the pros and cons, and then life will take on new colors. They will be especially bright when traveling.

The main thing is not to lose optimism

Thailand, China or Japan are waiting for inquisitive Libra. This is where their caution and prudence comes in handy.

SCORPION

Scorpio does not tolerate falsehood, he likes to know what will happen next. Traveling is not a sin - the year promises success in everything!

Healthy passion has always distinguished Scorpio from other zodiac signs. Business acumen and wisdom will bring him success in the Year of the Dog. Of course, if Scorpio stops stinging others. Especially in business circles.

He needs to control his character more often, and not find fault with trifles, be kinder and more generous, and also more forgiving, and then fate will smile on him again.

And Norway, Sweden and Algeria will give you unforgettable memories, if, of course, Scorpio visits them.

Knowledge is power! I'm completely exhausted

SAGITTARIUS

Our irrepressible Sagittarius is cheerful and desperate. I won’t hide it from you - he is young in heart and soul, even though now he’s ready to walk down the aisle again. And he is active, restless - he is worthy of travel!

For Sagittarius, the Year of the Dog promises to be prosperous if, while having fun, he also does not forget to work, and also persistently strives to achieve the assigned tasks. Love of freedom and mobility will not allow him to stay in one place for long.

The main thing is to have a good rest

It is likely that in the year of the Dog Sagittarius will visit Latin America, Portugal or Spain. These countries are very suitable for his hot character.

CAPRICORN

The irreconcilable, proud Capricorn will willingly twist all his enemies into a horn. Be more cheerful in the Year of the Dog - you will make new friends!

Prudence and thoughtfulness in solving all problems have always been inherent in Capricorn. So 2018 expects the same thoughtful decisions from him. And success will be ensured - as in financial matters, and in career growth. The Yellow Dog is very supportive of Capricorn, so he should try and not miss his moment to become happy!

Travel is not easy

But while doing righteous labors, one should not forget to also rest. Mexico and India will help workaholic Capricorn relax and gain strength for new achievements.

AQUARIUS

Aquarius is original in everything, even though it can be banal. An erudite and diplomat - always rich in kindness!

For Aquarius, the Year of the Dog will be extremely successful. Work and reasonable risk are very appealing to a devoted animal, so Aquarius should not bury his talents too deeply. Let him show them to the world, and let his work and creativity be adequately appreciated. The main thing is not to lose optimism.

The main thing is the right reference point!

Although Aquarius is not lacking in creativity, he needs to continue to be active and as proactive as possible. And hurry to Canada or Denmark for vacation. He will be comfortable in Italy too.

FISH

Pisces will become indifferent if you are tactless towards them. They have intuition from birth. Let's wish Pisces love and good mood!

To ensure that the mood in 2018 is always excellent, Pisces need to finally wake up and be more active. A trip to Asia Minor will help in this matter - you can even plan it for January. Or visit Italy.

And it's true!

The Year of the Dog promises to be successful for Pisces, cheerful, hardworking and determined. And success will be followed by recognition in business circles, as well as respect and honor.

As you can see from the horoscope for 2018, success awaits us all - of course, if goodwill, activity, reasonable risk and kindness are used.

Wishes for 2018

What about the Rooster's prophecy?

I wonder how the Year of the Rooster turned out for you? Were your hopes and expectations met? Have the prophecies of the Fire Rooster come true? Were you, my readers, able to go on vacation where you had planned? Or maybe someone has been to long journeys in the countries that Cockerel recommended for you in mine, posted on the pages of the site. I really wanted this year and the year of the Yellow Earth Dog to be successful for everyone!

But, if you did not manage to accomplish something planned in the year of the Rooster, do not be discouraged - there is still time. And the coming Year of the Dog 2018 inspires hope to be peaceful, calm, and friendly, as the horoscope for 2018 says.

We will achieve our goals!

Comic horoscope for travelers for 2018: 83 comments

Lyudmila
Funny pictures and captions. ... really, what difference does it make in WHICH sneakers when walking around Paris - as long as it's in PARIS!)))
But the Cockerel 2017 crowed in vain - there was no Lions (though I’m talking about only one of them)) this year, neither diving in the Red Sea, nor a hang glider over Turkey, nor alpine skiing nowhere, nowhere, even in the Carpathians!
Maybe you'll have better luck with the Yellow Dog? 🙂
Olga Parfenova
I really liked about Paris. It’s better in old sneakers, but in Paris. I’ve been to Marseille, now I just have to visit Paris.
Larisa
A sea of positivity from your horoscope, Tanya! Such pictures are optimistic and meaningful that it is simply impossible to read the inscriptions and your horoscope without a smile! How quickly time flies! It’s even scary - it seems like we recently celebrated 2017 and here we go, 2018 will soon be here! Fuck! 🙂
Lara
I read with interest the wishes for Taurus, Leo, Aquarius - all these zodiac signs are in our family. Jokes aside, but how everything written corresponds to the truth!
Stranger
I noticed that Italy is often mentioned in wishes for travelers. It’s probably fate - my friend lives in Milan, and she’s been inviting everyone over for three years now. But I just can’t get my act together—this or that other gets in the way. We need to address this issue! 🙂
Laura
My middle daughter's husband, Libra. I laughed at the meaningful picture and was surprised at the accuracy of the characterization - that the son-in-law likes to doubt and can be indecisive, that’s for sure. But he loves to travel, and more and more to the countries of the East. But I need to do something about my excessive emotionality! Thanks for the advice and positivity, Tanya!
Irina
I agree with all the countries that the horoscope suggested for Aquarius) I’ll start with Denmark!)
Elena
Aries brings gratitude! It is to Italy and Germany that I lately I really want to go for a long time. True, it’s not entirely clear what to do with my husband - he should go to Holland and Australia, and not alone :)

I also liked the idea from the picture, where they advise putting a trip to the Maldives to your head for a headache. In fact, I would agree to both Cuba and Mexico... I’m just somehow sure that this would instantly cure my head.
1. Post author
  Yes, Elena. Indeed, you have a difficult task. I want to go to Germany, and Italy, and Cuba, and Mexico. Moreover, my husband should also accompany me to Holland or Australia. In short, I’ve been on the road all year, and there’s certainly no time for my head to hurt. 🙂 To get everything done, start right away in the New Year with a trip with your husband to warm Australia, then to the Caribbean (Cuba and Mexico), and only then to Europe - when it gets warmer there too. Happy travels to you! 🙂
2. Natalia Litvishko
  Lenochka, even I, with all my patriotic feelings, will not refuse such a lotion to my head. Preferably as a gift and for a long time.
  1. Post author
    Natalya, what about “I don’t need the Turkish coast and I don’t need Africa...” Or are they not needed until the right moment comes? 🙂
  2. Elena
    The Seychelles has always attracted me. And my husband definitely won’t mind going there.
    By the way, just now I thought: every country has its own protected places, where most of the citizens have never been. And horoscopes quite rarely invite you there; more and more they invite you to the other side of the map. The power of tradition? Is there no prophet in your own country?
    1. Post author
      I recently watched the program “Heads and Tails” about a trip to the Seychelles - what a beauty it is there! Eh, it would be great to visit there. And about a prophet in his own country - who would be interested in what is nearby and accessible? Serve everyone something distant, romantic and exotic. 🙂
Evgeniy
Let's wait for 2018 and check)
Illyrica
I always want to know, what does the New Year have in store for us? No exception next year Dogs. Not a single New Year's celebration passes without mentioning the lord of the year. Be it a corporate party or any family dinner. I want to dress up and set the table to please the ruler of the year. Everyone wants a happy year. Therefore, it is important that even comic predictions were positive for all zodiac signs. Tatyana, you successfully completed this task! And it turned out believably and with a touch of humor. 🙂 Thank you!
Olga
Very interesting and fun! Thanks a lot!
Catherine
Interesting horoscope. It may not be a joke, but someone will actually use it in their plans for next year. I quite like the predicted countries
Designer
My favorite Asia: - Thailand, China and Japan! I’m just planning to go to Thailand next year!
Anna
Here I am an Aries, but I don’t have any exorbitant temper or assertiveness. They used to be, but with age, the traits of the Iron Rat (Mouse) prevailed and the character changed a lot.
I hope that in better side!
Tatiana
Great jokes! I’ll add one more, ancient one: “Three things travelers from Rome bring with them: a bad conscience, an upset stomach and an empty wallet.”
Ulrich von Hutten
Maria Korotina
Good horoscope, but it’s unlikely that I’ll get to Australia in 2018. And as for my career, I was pleased.
Tatiana
Tatiana, we entertained you with our predictions, thank you! I only read horoscopes from you. True, I conveniently forgot what the Rooster prophesied for this year... I plan my trips, forgetting about all sorts of horoscopes :)
Evgenia
Excellent horoscope, made me laugh. The pictures and inscriptions also pleased me. I liked the selection of countries, I checked with some friends, everything fits)) Every joke has some truth, and who knows, who knows...
land_driver
I already have a rough idea of where I’ll go next year, hardly abroad, although I don’t rule out Morocco, but also to the North and Crimea on bicycles. I'm already getting ready!
1. Post author
  You, Lyudmila, as in that saying - prepare the sleigh in the summer, and the oars in the winter. So the cycling route has already been chosen. Where is this to the North?

Comic horoscope in verses for 2018 Dogs for all zodiac signs
The Year of the Dog is coming to us,
Barks loudly at the gate,
Everything will happen soon,
What will happen to us?

Aries men should prepare for great happiness. The dog will bring this zodiac sign many good changes, favorable events and profitable enterprises. Let the Dog drive Aries into the stand, where there is plenty of hay and curly sheep.

The New Year 2018 will bring changes to Aries women in their personal lives; get ready for small changes and major events. Therefore, carefully curl your curls on your forehead, paint your eyelashes and polish your hooves - there are only pleasant moments and a wonderful future ahead!

Aries climbs the mountain firmly,
And the dog will hurry,
Be a good help
To career heights.

Sound sleep, nerves of steel,
Be the first in everything, always!
Jumping over your head?
There is definitely no need for this!

Horoscope predicts Aries
Grace, luck and love.
May your home be happy and complete.
Let the feelings play in your soul again and again!

Happy New Year, dear Aries!
This year will bring you good luck.
Let evil problems run away from you
And this year will be the best!

The time has come for Taurus to “pull himself together” in order to be able to organize his life the way he dreamed. Your happiness and your future are in your hands, be easy-going, let there be less temper in your soul and more joy! Horoscope wishes for everyone "hot" Taurus get a faithful and large chick that will brighten his life!

The Year of the Dog should bring all the wild ones Taurus women calmness, and all the peaceful “chicks” have a large reserve of strength for new achievements. The horoscope warns Taurus that the very moment will come when you will need to stop “flying in the clouds” and “come down to earth.”
Good luck to Taurus
Horoscope predicts.
Let it bring inspiration
And only the joy of the New Year!

The dog will guard Taurus,
And preserve their peace all year round,
Fate is like rolling cheese through butter,
And there is nothing to worry about!

You can easily get it
Not just fish from the pond!
In short, the dog is in circulation
Will take over your world for a whole year!

Love and the long journey
Falls to all Taurus
There will be many happy meetings,
The dog pleases you

And having traveled around the world,
Hurry to the jeweler
Need to give rings
To go down the aisle with her.

The Year of the Dog is literally made for you, Gemini. Men of this sign will not be bored and lonely, they will be able to find true friends, a soul mate and favorite activity. The year will allow you to get rid of problems in communicating with others. Moreover, people will see you as a leader and a wise, reasonable person!

Gemini women in the year of the Dog you should “watch your language,” as the horoscope warns: excessive talkativeness and self-confidence will ruin your reputation. In any situation, be calm and smile better when you want to tell the next “truth”.
Gemini is about to move
IN new house or an apartment,
The dog tried hard
Here is the brand new entrance.

And good job
The dog suddenly carries in his teeth,
Away with sorrows, away with worries,
After all, a dog is your best friend.

There will be a twin this year
creator of your happiness,
The dog will only take office
Growth awaits you in every way!

Personal growth, career too!
In the garden and perhaps
Everything will grow for you!
Here's the schedule. That's it, wait!

Gemini is lucky today
On New Year's Day, yes!
In the Year of the Dog, peace of mind to you,
Joy and personal victories to you!

For Cancer men, the horoscope in the year of the Dog is so favorable that they will be able to realize all their secret fantasies, even the most “daring” ones. Be confident in yourself and your affairs, and then you will definitely find a precious pearl at the bottom of the sea that can brighten up your boring existence.

Cancer women in 2018 Dog should finally take a break from the “everyday routine” and take care of themselves. Take the time to paint your nails or finally dye your hair roots, because in 2018 you will finally have a real chance to meet the man of your dreams. It is only important to be confident in yourself and not “back away” if you find small difficulties along the way.

The dog is already knocking on the house,
Open the cancer soon
You're not dreaming about all this,
Everything will really be like this.

There will be money, there will be happiness,
It's like there's cheese in butter,
You will forget about bad weather
And you'll accumulate fat in your belly!

The dog foretells Cancers
Definitely don't get into a fight!
Get cocky, get cocky!
If anything, don’t admit it!

Happy New Year's miracle, Cancer!
Here's your prediction:
You, rather than backing away,
Prepare declarations of love!

Leo men need to push themselves a little in 2018 to gain trust and respect. Mistress of the Year The Dog looks a little aggressively at the “predatory cat”, but, nevertheless, is very friendly so that the year will be successful and fruitful.

In 2018, every Lioness should relax a little and instead of “pulling everything on themselves,” give the situation a chance to resolve itself. Aggressive cats have always caused negative emotions from Dogs, but the mistress of the year is ready to yield to her principles and make a “sweet friendship” with Leos, giving them pleasant events and achievements in 2018.

Lions and Lionesses be careful,
The Year of the Dog is ahead.
But, of course, it’s also possible with her
Mark personal angles!

The prediction for Leo is simple:
Need to move, don't rest
And then there will be great happiness,
There are fewer reasons to be sad.

In the coming year Barbos
The lion will wipe his nose a little!
That's it, the end of your laws!
Leo straighten your crown.

Straighten up and smile!
And resign yourself to fate for a year,
You'll still take yours.
Tsar, you can’t argue against it!

Play with your fluffy mane
Dear Leo, it's time for you
IN New Year enter beautifully,
Happy new time!

In 2018, Virgo men should devote time to self-development, because if you don’t do this, you risk completely “getting” your loved ones with tediousness and self-flagellation. Express yourself through art and don’t start quarrels with your loved ones!

For Virgo women in the years 2-18, the Dog “promised” long-awaited changes. You should be on the move more, taking part in all the crowds and holidays you can find. Such relaxation will allow you to find spiritual harmony and self-love.

Virgos need to develop in the 18th year,
Don’t be sad, but smile and ignore the nonsense!
There are such passions around you, you just need to want it
And you can dash off to any neighboring space!

In the year of the Dog, virgins need
Look around
Remember what friendship is
And trust your dreams!

It will be fun and sad
Virgos in the new year,
Don't lose your feelings
And don't sleep on the go!

Mukhtar tells Virgo seriously
Forget to turn left all year!
Only straight ahead, and always forward!
This is the fate that awaits Virgo.

And everything will be in chocolate,
Always and in any situation.
Follow the first two lines,
And you won’t hear the menacing barking!

Finally, you will get a chance to somehow change your life for the better; for this, the stars in the sky will create the most favorable picture. Men should strain a little, but after this they will definitely find success and a huge number of gifts from fate.

In 2018, Libra women need to finally stop being indecisive, doubtful, balanced and well-mannered. Unleash yours hidden feelings, lose yourself in your emotions and live the Year of the Dog the way you only dreamed of!

It's time for Libra to go for a walk,
Party, dance, wash your soles,
The sun sparkles in the sky
And expect only good things!

By dog, by sled
Libra will move into a new house,
New Year brings only joy,
These are the dogs these days!

And in the house they will see -
There is a bag on the table!
Well, the dog tried his best,
Libra is shocked with happiness!

Horoscope tells Libra
Be more active and bolder
Trust your friends
It's more fun with them!

Scorpio men You need to carefully plan every task: work, rest, entertainment, and even cleaning the house. In addition, you should not look aggressively at others, expecting danger. No one can harm you, because you are already a “terrible” zodiac sign!

In the year of the Dog Scorpio women you should think about what they could express themselves most clearly. Engage in creativity or handicrafts, surprise others, prove that you are not only a master of “playing on your nerves.”

Well, what awaits Scorpio?
A whole year of attractions!
Whatever the day, it's a show!
The mood will be great!

Laughter, fun day after day!
You will be a strong link!
This is where the dog can help you,
He's on your heels!

To love is like a queen!
To lose is like a million!
Gotta follow the tune
Scorpio in the Year of the Dog!

A serious sign, a prickly sign,
Aggressive and biting
Smile, because the horoscope
Wishing you a good year!

Sagittarius men, you should think about relaxation and healthy entertainment. Stop developing and searching for beauty; you already have everything that is vital! Put all the sharp arrows in the case behind your back and just open up to the world so that it accepts you!

Sagittarius women in 2018 there will be a huge number of opportunities to become better, more beautiful, smarter, and generally irresistible! The stars tell you to take more care of your health and appearance, because big changes are just around the corner and they should be met “in full combat readiness”!

For Sagittarius in the year of the Dog,
Will make his attack
Happiness in person!
Life will begin as a champion!

Traffic jams, quarrels, bad weather -
Everything is not in your everyday life!
Doggie in the coming year
All wishes will be taken into account!

Sagittarius wishes now
Find something soulful to do.
Open up to the world like a door
And life will become more pleasant!

It's time for Sagittarius to fall in love,
It's time to dissolve in worries,
To be happy both day and night,
So that the melancholy runs away!

Smile, thoughtful Sagittarius,
You have reasons to be happy!
You are a big and nice fellow,
May all bad weather pass you by!

Capricorn men the stars want to find that very muse, that same thread of inspiration and interest that can make life brighter and happier. It's time to stop being mischievous and pointing your horns at any criticism, it's time to accept all your problems with a smile and give only joy to those around you!

Capricorn women 2018 will be a significant year: some will find their love, others will find the strength to “move on” towards interesting adventures. In any case, the stars predict very romantic events, which means you need to always be happy, confident and have a bright personality!

This year is for Capricorn
It will be incredibly cool!
Only the Dog is on the threshold,
All wishes will come true!

Stunning meetings
Money fairytale carriage,
Happiness will fall on your shoulders
And it will press from all sides!

Capricorns, dear ones,
You are like delicate flowers
Step forward boldly
And put an end to the past!

In the year of the Dog, wise Capricorns
Joy and luck will smile,
Choose the right road
To become happy - no other way!

Aquarius men they need to “push” so that any of their affairs “flow in the right direction” and bring good luck and profit. Minor failures “let them take their course”, the most important thing for you now is peace of mind, balance and help from loved ones!

For Aquarius women It's time to do at least one stupid thing in 2018: fall in love with a passerby, buy a motorcycle or go on a trip without a penny of money. It will give you a crazy experience and memories to last a lifetime!

Calm, modest Aquarius
The horoscope wishes to be a little bolder,
Look ahead and see only luck,
Solve simple and complex problems!

In the Year of the Dog it will not be difficult for you,
Aquarius, happiness is possible!
Smile and go ahead
Interesting love awaits you!

Our dear Aquarius!
Forget about your problems,
Good Doggie this year
The Jackpot will be hit for you!

In personal life, at work,
Everything will be all right on takeoff!
Behave yourself!
And expect good luck in everything!

The horoscope advises Pisces men to change their work, occupation or professional activity. Your monotonous daily routine, like spoiled water in an aquarium, does not benefit tired, hungry fish. Feel free to open yourself to new hobbies and the Year of the Dog will “favor” you!

The horoscope tells Pisces women to do household chores: “warm the hearth” or “spawn.” It is very useful for lonely and sad Pisces to acquire offspring in order to brighten up their existence and give love to their neighbors.

According to the eastern calendar, 2018 will be held under the auspices of the Yellow Dog. A comic horoscope will tell you what he will bring to each Zodiac Sign.

Taurus

Taurus should forget about slowness. Your tirelessness and desire to succeed will be appreciated, and at the beginning of 2018 you will be able to lay the foundations for future victories. Astrologers advise you to hide your sharp horns for a while so as not to scare away the friendly Dog. An amazing year awaits you, fulfillment of all desires and great mood. However, you will have to listen to a lot of eulogies, which can become boring. You don't have to worry about your personal life either. The symbol of the New Year will make sure that family life Taurus's life was going well. For lonely people, a playful Dog will definitely show the way to their soulmate. Don’t hesitate, or even better, get yourself a puppy so that the whole year passes not only positively, but also in motion.

Twins

Gemini will need determination in the new year 2018. You will experience an unprecedented surge of strength and be able to change your life for the better. To achieve more success throw all the trash out of your life. This applies not only to old and unnecessary things, but also to thoughts that prevent you from moving forward. However, you shouldn’t think about your next steps for long, otherwise capricious Fortune will stick out her tongue at you and run off into the sunset. Thanks to the patronage of the Dog, you will have the opportunity to improve your personal life. But remember that the patron of the year prefers married couples, so it is better for Gemini to avoid fleeting romances. Don't forget about your loved ones. Delight them with your attention, invite them over for pancakes and pies. It is best for representatives of your Sign to spend the New Year in a noisy company. This way you can relax and gain positive emotions for active activities in the New Year.

Cancer

The most mysterious and pessimistic representatives of the zodiac circle are capable of getting confused in their feelings and emotions. They dote on their saving holes, in which they strive to hide at every opportunity. However, it is unlikely that you will be able to enjoy tea with jam in blissful solitude. The Wishing Dog will help you change and overcome your own indecision. Cancers need to learn not to step back, but to proudly greet every day. Many opportunities await you in the New Year, and you have no right to miss them, otherwise your hole will remain the haven of a lonely and timid person. Lonely Cancers will be lucky. Don’t miss a meeting with love, and you will be able to share your cozy life with your other half, who, by the way, will certainly have delicious cookies for tea.

Lion

To the proud Lions in the new year you will have to part with your crown more often. A dog will certainly give you many chances to prove yourself. You will bask in much-needed attention, but at home the shine and glory will have to be muted. Narcissism and selfishness will be of no use to you, because your family simply will not understand the royal habits. Leaving a crown on a shining mane is worth it only in an effort to find your love. They will notice you and fall before your charm, irresistibility and nobility. The victim will only have to be held tightly in sharp claws. Remember that the symbol of 2018 does not like selfishness in all its forms. Be careful and don't go overboard.

Virgo

Virgos will have to change not only their worldview, but also their bad habits. Astrologers strongly recommend that you leave pessimism in the past. Understand that not everyone likes to listen to lamentations, especially if they do not carry any semantic meaning. As for the cheerful Dog, she simply may not understand your mood and run away in search of a more positive person. Take action immediately after New Year's Eve so that your work brings joy and material well-being until the end of 2018. Have no doubt: as soon as you take off the mask of the impregnable princess Nesmeyana, you will have crowds of fans among whom you can find your soul mate.

Scales

In the New Year 2018, astrologers recommend that Libras weigh everything. Don't rush off the handle so that your impulsiveness doesn't play a cruel joke. Look for a middle ground so as not to be branded as bores and overcautious people. Include courage and energy to direct them to fight competitors and take new heights. Astrologers recommend that Libra plan things for the whole year so that all 12 months are successful. In the year of the Dog, representatives of your Sign may make mistakes in people, and to avoid such an unfortunate misunderstanding, do not be fooled by flattery. Success awaits those who do not take the position of a victim to please the environment. Do not deprive yourself of the joy of life and stop pleasing those who do not value you at all.

Scorpion

Scorpios should hide their deadly sting if they want to spend 2018 in abundance. The Dog will bring you happiness and open many paths for development. You can reach any heights, start your own business, while receiving not only profit, but also pleasure. Remember your friends who will help you in any difficult situations. Leave your poison for competitors and people who want to use your hands to pave their way to happiness and success. Try to moderate your selfishness within your family, otherwise the Yellow Dog will not help you maintain your love. Find that balance that will help you be tough in business, and at home be known as an exemplary family man and a sensitive person.

Sagittarius

Astrologers recommend that Sagittarians moderate their ardor, otherwise you risk winning the “adviser of the year” prize, which will not make you happy. Instead of sharing your opinion with everyone, pay attention to your own affairs. The symbol of the year, the Dog will accompany you everywhere. Don't scare off the animal and direct the energy into the love sphere. You are distinguished by your ability to win hearts, so finding a match will not be difficult for you. However, constant partying can deprive you of your strength. Try to tell yourself “no” in time. There will be more than enough strength, and if you realize it in time, financial well-being will accompany your activities everywhere.

Capricorn

Capricorns will have to calm down their ambitions. Your horns will help you become a leader, but excessive pressure will be unnecessary. Boredom may be your biggest disappointment, so astrologers recommend that you focus your energy on solving personal issues. Cupid has already prepared his arrows, and the most exciting romantic adventures await you. In 2018, you will find a love for centuries or a relationship from which you will be able to gain invaluable experience. Do not skimp on compliments and show concern, and then you will never be bored. Perceive love experiences with philosophical calm, because irrepressible ardor can negatively affect nervous system. 2018 will bring extravaganza and a huge number of pleasant surprises into your life.

Aquarius

A surge of creative energy will help Aquarians make a breakthrough in the business sphere. Don't get stuck on standard problem solving methods. Creativity and entrepreneurship will help you achieve excellent results. However, don’t get carried away, otherwise the rapid flow of imagination can lead you into such a jungle that it will be difficult to get out of even on a motor boat. Dog, the patron of 2018, will help you improve your personal life. Married couples A period of romance and rapprochement awaits. Singles will be able to meet their soul mate, who meets all the needs of Aquarius. Astrologers recommend not inventing obstacles for yourself and leaving jealousy so as not to inadvertently offend your companion.

If you believe the eastern calendar, astrologers and other great soothsayers, 2018 will be the year of the Yellow Dog. The humorous horoscope for 2018 will tell you what to expect from this animal.

A dog is a kind and devoted creature surrounded by a person, so a year under its leadership will certainly pass without problems for the zodiac signs. She is ready to stand guard over the peace of her friend and owner all day and night, so you can relax and entrust the patron of the year with solving difficulties. She will also appreciate the hardworking representatives of the zodiac circle, because not a single animal would want to give gifts to lazy people.

Walking through life with a smile is a wonderful quality that representatives of all signs must cultivate in themselves in order to achieve success in 2018. The dog will patronize those who are full of energy, cheerful and cheerful, so in order not to fall out of favor with the benefactress of the year, be less upset about minor adversities. To enlist the support of this friendly animal, astrologers, who worked day and night to compile a comic horoscope for 2018, advise you to dress in bright yellow robes - they will definitely attract the patron’s attention to your person.

Over the previous year, the poor lambs were pretty tired, because they had to work with all their strength. However, the Dog believes that it’s time for you to stop stubbornly following millions, and remember about other areas of life, so you shouldn’t throw yourself into work. It's good to work, but rest is even better.

To please your star patron, who knows like no one else what true devotion and love are, pay attention to those who have tolerated your antics throughout the previous year. Give at least a little warmth to your loved ones, forgetting for a while about what a cheapskate you are. And for this, the Dog will help you with your work and bring you closer to your dream of cherished millions.

Next year, Aries will suddenly feel like the most irresistible in the Universe, so they will find themselves in the center of attention of crowds of fans. But remember that caution doesn’t hurt, so don’t dive into the pool headlong, because there is a risk that a body of water unfamiliar to you will be too deep and then no Dog will help you swim to shore.

Taurus' tirelessness will be appreciated

No less stubborn than Aries, Taurus is in for a breathtaking year that will turn their heads. Your efforts will finally be appreciated, so hide your horns so as not to scare the Dog with them. True, in order to have time to collect the cream that the patroness of the year has prepared for you, you will have to forget about your slowness - the Dog likes active and decisive people.

The only thing that threatens you in 2018 is fatigue from obsessive words of praise, a constant lack of criticism, and constantly coming true desires. This year you will be so lucky that you can move mountains.

In addition to fame and recognition at work, money bags and good luck in all matters, the stars have prepared eternal mutual love for you, if, of course, you have not yet met it. Family Taurus can be calm about this: peace and mutual understanding will reign in your home.

Geminis can benefit from determination.

In 2018, two-faced Geminis will unexpectedly find strength and an unexpected desire to change their own lives for the better. They should start by getting rid of unnecessary things in the house and extra rubbish, accumulated in their heads. A carriage and a small cart of new opportunities will appear.

But if you think for a long time about everything that fate gives, you can end up in the soup, like the well-known turkey. Therefore, for Gemini to have a truly successful 2018, they need to learn to think less and make decisions faster. Moreover, when there are two heads, as is the case with Gemini, there will be no problems with this.

The dog will show favor to those who sometimes neglect the rules, constantly moving forward, while remaining faithful to their loved ones, so for almost the entire year Gemini will be at the pinnacle of bliss. And although representatives of this sign have hardly heard of romance, and they do not know how to meet the opposite sex, they will also be lucky in their personal lives. True, the Dog doesn’t like fleeting romances, so if you don’t want to end up in the registry office, then there’s nothing to start with.

Comic predictions for 2018 for Cancers or a guide on how to overcome suspiciousness

Cancers can be called the most pessimistic and mysterious among all representatives of the zodiac circle. Sometimes they are so mysterious that they cannot even understand themselves. Their favorite pastime is hiding in their hole, holding tea and cookies in their claws, and getting upset about what might happen if they even do something.

The Dog will provide Cancer with an exceptional opportunity to radically change their own habits in order to turn into a decisive person who is confident in his actions. To make friends with the patroness of the year, Cancers will have to work on themselves 25 hours a day and learn to solve all the small difficulties encountered along the way, and not back away.

For Cancers who show persistence, the Dog has prepared pleasant changes in their personal lives. If you try, in 2018 you can find a partner who shares all your interests. Then you won’t have to drink tea while sitting in a hole alone.

Proud Leos, keep it simple!

In 2018, Lviv will suddenly experience unprecedented fame and universal adoration. However, they will like this attitude towards themselves, because Leos have long been accustomed to the constant attention of fans. Fortunately, the patroness of the year will help narcissistic Leos in every possible way, opening up thousands of new opportunities and kilometers of unexplored horizons for them.

Leos will be very comfortable in relationships, because attention will be directed to their luxurious mane. True, your loved ones may not understand your royal habits, so when you return home, take off your crown - you should still forget about pride and royal manners, because the Dog does not like selfish people.

Leos who want to get into a relationship can leave the crown, because the search for a soul mate is best done fully armed. Be sure: your irresistibility, pride and inaccessibility will conquer someone, and then all that remains is to grab the prey in your claws.

Dedicated to the eternally unhappy Virgos

Virgos who constantly consider themselves the most unfortunate in the world should stop pouring out their souls to everyone they encounter. Nobody likes to listen to all this nonsense, and a Dog with a cheerful disposition may not understand you at all and begin to avoid you.

This zodiac sign should start working on their well-being right from January, since this month will determine the course of the entire 2018. If you work hard in January, then throughout the year you will experience happiness, luck, fun and material well-being.

In relationships, Virgos will have peace and quiet if they manage to cope with their main vice - talkativeness. Lonely representatives of this sign should expect a hurricane of activity from fans who will attack with their attention. In 2018, you have every chance to meet your soul mate.

Scales, weigh everything

If Libra accepted final decision, then it’s difficult to stop them. But, faced with a difficult choice, they will think to the last, driving everyone around them, including themselves, into a frenzy. However, if you decide that in 2018 you should forget about this quality of yours, astrologers do not advise you to be too impulsive, otherwise you may slide to the bottom of the deepest abyss.

2018 could be a difficult year for Libra if they take the plunge. Before you say nasty things to your boss, colleagues, friends or loved ones, think carefully about everything. Courage and energy, if you have them, are better directed in an extremely peaceful direction - to fight competitors or to conquer new heights in your favorite business. To make the year a success, astrologers advise Libra to plan their efforts for the next 12 months, and then you will be confident in thoughtful decisions.

In the year of the Dog, Libra can make serious mistakes in people, but you shouldn’t despair because of this. You just need to learn to avoid the flattery that can be waiting around every corner. To get only pleasure from communicating with people, you should not communicate with them to the detriment of yourself. Even though you love to listen a lot and love to talk just as much, now is the time to think about whether you need it.

Scorpios, down with narcissism!

Incredible luck, continuous profits and constant profitable offers - in 2018, Scorpios can expect all this if they stop stinging everyone. In this case, representatives of this sign will be able to build a career and find a hobby they like.

Scorpios have more than enough energy. Next year they will need it, and perhaps in some cases they will even have to remember that Scorpios have a poisonous sting and use it. Of course, the path to the top of your career is thorny and difficult, but remember that at the end of it a treasure chest awaits you. Friends will help make all your efforts easier, so when going up the stairs, push only your competitors with your elbows, otherwise rushing upward can have a detrimental effect on your friendships.

If at home, bragging about your successes at work, you do not show sensitivity, then the Dog will not help maintain the relationship. It is also not worth taking too drastic and active actions. But for Scorpios, who can at least occasionally be not so narcissistic, the patroness of the year will help them find the ideal balance in all areas of life.

Every Sagittarius has a romantic couple

Sagittarius in 2018 will definitely want to receive an award, even if it is a prize in the non-existent category “Best Advisor of the Year”. They will give advice to everyone who asks them, and to everyone who does not need it - even public transport drivers will have to listen to instructions from the representatives of this sign. However, instead of trying to become a guru for everyone and everything, it is better to calm down in time and do the right things. No one doubts the value of your advice, but it is better to save your invaluable wisdom for solving your own problems.

Crispy bills will not leave your wallet, so if you decide to change jobs, you can safely do it without looking back. The dog will be generous towards you, no matter what position you work in.

Everything will be just wonderful in Sagittarius relationships. January will pass for you in constant fun, and the only thing that can upset you is fatigue from constant parties with sleepless nights. During these festivities, you can meet your love, and one who will gladly listen to all your advice, considering it the best romantic gesture. Finding a partner will not be difficult for you, because you are able to conquer the hearts of representatives of the opposite sex with just one glance.

Capricorns, come down to Earth!

Capricorns are all about ambition. They constantly consider only their own point of view to be correct, not allowing others to be right, so they are ready to give advice without stopping for lunch. But in 2018, they should moderate their own agility and begin to really act.

Perhaps Capricorns will find their horns useful, because only by pushing them against obstacles will they be able to conquer the peak, where they can sit quietly, enjoying the benefits they have earned. True, it is quite possible that this sign The Zodiac will be somewhat disappointed after achieving his goals. However, you are unlikely to be bored and sad.

In 2018, Cupid has prepared his arrows for every single Capricorn, so you will not be able to avoid love experiences. Some Capricorns will be able to find love for centuries, while others will simply gain invaluable experience. No matter how your relationship with the opposite sex develops, something grandiose and enchanting still awaits you.

Comic forecast for 2018: don’t pour water, Aquarius!

For Aquarius, 2018 will be a year of continuous creativity, even if their profession does not require a creative approach. They will continue to flow with brilliant ideas to improve life and generate options for saving the world. Moreover, it is almost impossible to calm down Aquarius, in whose head brilliant ideas that are necessary for all of humanity will come one after another. And no one will dare to do this, because everyone will be busy, envying the vigorous mental activity of Aquarius.

However, you should not get carried away, otherwise the resulting waterfall will begin to destroy in its path everything that you have created throughout your life. But if you can direct it in a peaceful direction, you can make great money from it.

In relationships with Aquarius, the Dog has prepared many pleasant surprises. Lonely representatives of this sign will meet true love, who will be ready to listen to all ideas, and family lovers will not be disturbed by any problems, because your loved ones will appreciate creative efforts at work. Astrologers advise you not to invent difficulties for yourself by being jealous of your chosen ones for everyone who meets you on the way, because in fact no one is weaving intrigues against you.

It's time for fish to leave the aquarium

In 2018, Pisces will want to turn into inveterate homebodies, because in their underwater world they will find it so exciting and interesting that even dangerous predators will not be able to force them to leave their favorite place. But in fact, it’s time for you to leave the cozy aquarium, because it’s quite possible that other fish also deserve your attention, and there are so many colorful algae and beautiful coral reefs around. So feel free to swim forward.

Astrologers advise you to get rid of the main fish habit - silence. Give free rein to your words so that eloquence will be appreciated, and then you can achieve success, and do not let the unknown frighten you. By emerging from the shadows and showing courage, you will find a chest of jewelry forgotten by some pirate in the depths of the sea.

For those who have not yet managed to find a couple, the Dog will help improve their personal life. Thanks to the help of this friendly animal, even the most ordinary-looking fish will be able to find mutual love.

Eastern horoscope for 2018

Other horoscopes for 2018

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