What is a charming person? Charm (Charming) Charming

We have all encountered the fact that in society different people we feel and behave completely differently. Someone instills optimism and hope in us from the first words; a conversation with him brings self-confidence, makes us happy and warms us. And someone, on the contrary, makes you want to say goodbye as soon as possible and never see you again. charm? Is it an innate gift or skill? Is it possible to learn to charm people?

American psychologists believe that everything comes with practice.

But let us remember the radiant, but at the same time cold smiles of the Americans. Being an optimist in public, hiding all your problems and worries does not mean attracting people. Charm is a magnet. You want to communicate with a person who has this quality again and again. What's the secret? The main property in which personal charm lies is the presence of empathy. This is the ability to “feel” into the position of the interlocutor. The ability to sincerely empathize with him and let him understand it. Charm is rather an innate ability. After all, you cannot learn to empathize. How impossible it is to learn to be good-natured. You can, of course, study various techniques for controlling their behavior, facial expressions, and gestures. But a deep sense of closeness with someone cannot be cultivated either in oneself or in others. What attracts us to charming people? First of all, they are located towards us. It is felt, felt by the “skin”.

This cannot be played, because internal prudence is often perceived at a subconscious level. Therefore, charm is, first of all, sincerity. But not intrusive, not aggressive. A person who has the gift of charming others knows how to listen. And he must also subtly feel all the nuances and shades of the interlocutor’s well-being and deeply understand the situation.

Charming people exude vibes of warmth and goodwill. That is, such a person cannot be arrogant or arrogant. He usually has adequate self-esteem. He is attentive, but not intrusive. Women's charm does not depend at all on formal “correct” beauty. We have all met more than once girls and young men who were not distinguished by their ideal appearance or athletic figures. But their inherent warmth makes them much more attractive than the cold beauty of arrogant ladies or the polished elegance of gentlemen.

Thus, charm is character.

This is the ability to win people over without putting any effort into it. Quality is highly valued in any team. Such a person, as a rule, has no enemies. Simply because he disarms them with his warmth and goodwill. This quality is especially important in all professions related to communication. A charming salesperson or manager-consultant will be able to win the client’s sympathy much faster and more naturally and persuade him to buy. In hospitals and clinics, patients treat doctors and nurses with this quality with special trepidation. A charming teacher or teacher is the favorite of all his students. And although this property cannot be learned, you can try to develop qualities such as empathy, the ability to empathize and sympathize. Because no matter where we work, no matter what we do, positive communication with people will always bring us only benefit.

Charm is a mixture of naturalness and coquetry.

Charm more often lies in the mind than in the face, since the beauty of the face is revealed immediately and does not conceal anything unexpected; but the mind opens only little by little when the person himself desires it and to the extent that he desires it.

Possessed this natural charm that even when you poked a cookie under someone’s nose, the interlocutor perceived this gesture as a desire to affectionately stroke him on the cheek

Announcement. A middle-aged man in his prime is ready to throw in his lot with a charming woman who has not yet become a berry again.

A charming mind is a mind in which freedom from stupidity is especially felt.

Charm is the gift of winning people over to you.

Charm (charm) as a personality quality is a mysterious gift to win people over, charm and be attractive to others.

The magnetism of true, not feigned, artificial charm - unsolved mystery humanity. “Charm is enchanting,” writes Brian Tracy, “The way flowers open and stretch towards the warmth and sunlight, so we open up and reach out to meet the charm. Charm acts like a powerful magnet, attracting us to its source against our will.”

How to explain the phenomenal success of Faina Ranevskaya - ugly, but incredible charming woman? Who would remember now the film “Foundling” if Ranevskaya had not been there? Playing supporting roles, she completely eclipsed the leading actors. The phrase “Mulya, don’t make me nervous” became the baton for eternity. While other artists acted, contrasted with real life artificiality, deliberateness and enthusiasm of images, Ranevskaya was natural and relaxed. The “foundling” says that her head will be torn off for being lost. Ranevskaya poses the question in the spirit of our modern media manipulators: “Girl, what do you want, to have your head torn off or to the country? - To the dacha. “You see, I said that she wants to go to the dacha.” When in the 60s of the last century a monument to Karl Marx by the sculptor Kerbel was unveiled on Sverdlov Square in Moscow, she said: “And then they wonder where anti-Semitism comes from. After all, this is triple impudence! In the Great Russian capital, one Jew erects a monument to a third Jew on a square named after another Jew!” Sharp-tongued, Faina Ranevskaya still tops the ratings of the best aphorisms with her statements : « You have to live in such a way that even the bastards remember you,” “Women, of course, are smarter. Have you ever heard of a woman who would lose her head just because a man has beautiful legs?”, “I feel bad, but not good,” “Family replaces everything. Therefore, before you get one, you should think about what is more important to you: everything or family.”

Charm has tremendous power; not a single person can resist it. Gagarin's open, charming smile captivated the whole world. According to S. Dovlatov, charm “balances any vices.” You can be one-armed, hunchbacked, crooked and, at the same time, conquer women thanks to your charm. It is enough for women to love. Great actress Sarah Bernhardt said: “To achieve success, you need to be charming. Charm manifests itself in everything and nothing at the same time - in the energy emanating from you, in your gaze, gait, physique, sound of your voice, graceful gestures. It is not at all necessary to be recognized as handsome or beautiful, the main thing is to have personal charm.” Sophia Loren echoes her: “Men notice smart women, beautiful women they “snatch from the crowd” with their eyes, and only the charming ones are not forgotten. Good looks aren't everything, but add charm and the world is at your feet."

Charm is a flow of positive energy poured into the outside world. Why do people revere charm? It's nice to be next to a person who radiates waves of positivism and gives a charge Have a good mood. In the company of a charming person you feel light and at ease. He easily establishes contact with others, finds relationships with them mutual language and sets you up for positive relationships. Skillfully applied attributes of charm - the ability to actively listen, ease, naturalness, sincere smile– win over your interlocutor. When you ask people about associations of how a charming person seems to them, you invariably get the answer: joyful, bright, pleasant to talk to, sincere, warm, cheerful, emotionally attractive, optimistic and smiling. Albert Camus wrote: “Do you know what charm is? The ability to feel someone say “yes” to you, even though you didn’t ask for anything.”

People are captivated by their charm by always focusing on their interlocutor. A charming person is attentive to the intentions and interests of others. People know how to feel in halftones. Self-interest caresses one's own importance. Therefore, a charming person is unanimously recognized as an excellent conversationalist, although he could only utter a couple of phrases throughout the evening. He spoke little, but how he listened! Genuine charm glows, smiles with all its heart and genuinely enjoys the people around it.

Napoleon possessed the magic of charm. When he did not yet have gigantic power, he was appointed to command the army in Italy. Napoleon found himself in a circle of very strict, old warrior generals who were ready to give a rather dry reception to a young brother who was placed on their neck. But from the first minutes future emperor amazed them with his charm. Tan says: “The division generals, including Augereau, an old warrior, rude but heroic, very proud of his tall and with their courage, arrived in main apartment very prejudiced against the upstart sent from Paris. Augereau was indignant in advance, having already formed an opinion about him from the description and preparing to disobey this “favorite of Barras,” “General of Vendémière,” the kulik general,” whom everyone looked at as a bear, because he always kept aloof and was thoughtful, Moreover, this diminutive general had a reputation as a mathematician and dreamer. They were brought in. Bonaparte kept himself waiting. Finally he came out, girded with a sword, and, putting on his hat, explained his intentions to the generals, gave orders and dismissed them. Augereau remained silent, and only when they were already out on the street did he come to his senses and burst out with his usual curses, agreeing with Massena that this little general had inspired fear in him, and he absolutely could not understand why at first glance he felt destroyed in front of him. superiority." General Vandamme, a revolutionary warrior, even more rude and energetic than Augereau, spoke about him to Marshal Dornano in 1815, when they were climbing the stairs together in the Tuileries Palace: “My dear, this man produces such a charm on me that I do not I can realize it, and to such an extent that I, who fear neither God nor the devil, approaching him, tremble like a child; and he could make me go through the eye of a needle and then throw me into the fire.”

Only Napoleon's charm can explain his amazing return from the island of Elba. A lone unarmed man stood up against the enormous organized power of a great country. “Soldiers! Will you shoot your emperor? - he shouted to the armed troops sent against him, and the soldiers, crushed by his charm, went over to the side of their beloved emperor. “Napoleon,” writes the English General Wolseley, “landed in France almost alone, as a fugitive from the small island of Elba, and in a few weeks he managed, without any bloodshed, to overthrow the entire organization of power in France, headed by its rightful king. Are there any cases where a person's personal superiority would be demonstrated in a more striking manner? Throughout this entire last campaign, one can clearly see what power he had over the allies, forcing them to follow his initiative, and how little was needed for him to crush them completely.”

Petr Kovalev 2013

What is charm? And God knows! Or the devil?...Who to thank for this amazing property human nature - genes, biochemistry or aliens from outer space? Some people, by the way, believe that charm is a thing that you can learn if you want...

“What’s so special about her (or him)?” – just from this question alone, hanging suspended in the air, you can easily guess: they are talking about a charming person.

He may never win a beauty contest, he has a slight lisp and the hair on his head is scattered with the swirls of past hobbies, he is certainly charming - all your mutual acquaintances admit this. What's the matter? And he was just born this way!

For some reason, it is believed that charm is a kind of compensation for imperfect appearance: they say, nature is wise and does not tolerate injustice. As an example, the names of the Divines of this world are usually given: Faina Ranevskaya, Edith Piaf, Margaret Thatcher, finally!
However, if you think about it, history also knows a huge number of charming beauties, for example Princess Diana, Sophia Loren or, say, Ornella Muti. So there are a great many “beauty-charm” combinations.

Image makers believe that both of these definitions belong different orders: beauty is an evaluative concept, and charm is an emotional category. Have you ever wondered why Russian women are considered the most beautiful in the world? Some psychologists suggest that this phenomenon is associated precisely with their emotionality, which opens up enormous opportunities for self-expression and ultimately creates the illusion of amazing external attractiveness.

Speaking about female attractiveness, Sophia Loren subtly noted that smart women men note beautiful eyes“snatched from the crowd” and only the charming ones... are not forgotten. Why?

From God and from people

“What is charm and where does it come from?” - I ask Ekaterina Sobchik, the head of the School of Charm and the author of the methodology by which women learn the art of charm. “For 15 years I haven’t read anything worthwhile on this subject,” my interlocutor laughs. – This is such an amazing way of self-expression, something irrational... There are completely inexplicable things in the world, for example love. It is still unclear what kind of process this is - biochemical or coming, say, from space? Love can be very different: for some it is spiritual in nature, for others it is downright hormonal. And charm also consists of a lot of things - there is the concept of negative charm, there is the charm of modesty. Some of us own the hearts of thousands of fans, while others kill us on the spot the only person. “What did you see in him?” - the friends are surprised. “Well, well, well!” - follows an admiring answer. By by and large this is given by God, but some things can be corrected. If you own some behavioral tool, you stress yourself and stress others less. You can help a person become more relaxed, free, and at the same time expand the arsenal of means of influencing others, and he will begin to attract attention.”

Theater of facial expressions and gestures

I want to learn the art of being attractive! If only I could learn some tricky tricks...
“You can become more charming by paying attention to the full range of nonverbal behavior,” advises Ekaterina Sobchik. “I mean your facial expressions, gait (which is very important for a woman!), gestures, intonation, and so on.”

According to various authors, “nonverbal” accounts for 80 to 90 percent of human perception of a person. So more meaningful than words everything that our body expresses, gestures, facial expressions. This is our oldest, first in a row, signaling system, so they react to her signs almost automatically. So if you want to become more attractive, you will have to look at your own habits from the outside.

The most difficult thing is to try to wean yourself from clearly negative facial signals: stop frowning, twisting your mouth angrily, or squinting your eyes when talking with your interlocutor. Do you think this is not typical for you? Well, let's go to the mirror... Very often the impression that we want to make on our interlocutor does not coincide with the impression that we actually make on him.

“When I know something about myself, I understand how others evaluate me,” says Ekaterina Sobchik. – Each of us wears some kind of mask, and in communication we often begin to “mirror” each other: if your face is tense, willy-nilly I will also begin to tense, returning a negative signal to you. However, if I understand that my own facial expressions are to blame, I will stop blaming the whole world for going to war against me. This approach has a huge psychotherapeutic effect.”

Gestures, postures, movements

What else should the future goddess of charm not do? For example, you need to forget about the so-called “gestures of suppression” (this is when you cut space with your palm, slam the air with your hand from top to bottom, or “point with your finger”). Also pay attention to whether you have one of the “closed poses” that are usually taken out of self-doubt (crossed arms, looking at the floor). Another bad habit is to demonstrate so-called “gestures of irritation”: coughing every now and then, rubbing the tip of your nose, fidgeting in your chair, tugging at your earring, looking for a lighter on the table, and so on. In this way you are signaling: I am a terribly busy person, and I don’t have time for you... Some women show boredom by shaking their legs.

In general, charm presupposes a certain demonstrativeness: I need to light you up so that you pay attention to me. One of the techniques for attracting attention is... slowing down the movement. Try placing the cup on the table so that it doesn't knock. Or take an object as if it were a kitten: on the one hand, you really want to, because it’s nicely fluffy, but on the other hand, it’s a little scary: the animal might bite you. Practice a little, and you will get a kind of feminine movement that you can play at the “X hour”.

Gait is extremely important point, and it seems that Marilyn Monroe knew about this without the help of psychologists. Evil tongues explain her famous gait in two ways: possible reasons: some people talk about birth defect– supposedly one of the film star’s legs was shorter. Others claim that Ms. Monroe deliberately filed down the heels of her shoes.

If you want to correct your gait, you can do the following exercise. Place a thick book on your head and walk with it back and forth around the room for a while so that the book does not fall. When you can successfully perform this trick 10 times in a row, you will notice that your gait has changed. The exercise should be done 2-3 times a week. If you want to monitor your gait, stretch a cord on the floor and walk in an elongated line. The arms should hang freely so that their movements are natural, connected with the rhythm of the stroke.

Intonation

Marlene Dietrich - the female sphinx, the female goddess was delightful in many ways, but her most exquisite instrument of seduction was her voice - not strong, but perfectly modulated. Hemingway once said: “If Marlene Dietrich had nothing more than her voice, she could break hearts with it alone.” As for us, mere mortals, to make the appearance attractive it will be enough to “remove from circulation” the shrill, hysterical notes.

Equality to yourself

Stop! It seems I’m doing something wrong... Firstly, I’ll never remember all these tricks anyway (everything listed is only part of them), and going to conquer the world with a cheat sheet in my hands is somehow awkward. Secondly, it is impossible to turn into a princess of charm with the help of technical gadgets alone, although, admittedly, they help out. We all run around at breakneck speed, smoke, sometimes swear, and if, under such conditions, we suddenly try to suffer through some kind of soft white and fluffy “woman,” no one will believe in this transformation. So what really comes out: “to Caesar what is Caesar’s, and to the mechanic what is mechanic’s”?

“There is such an important concept for me - self-equality,” says Ekaterina Sobchik. – That is, the main thing is to learn not to jump above your head, but also not to belittle your dignity. You make the most of your own potential - your appearance, your personality. The transformation from a frog to a princess occurs thanks to an internal reassessment of values... You no longer perceive failure as defeat, you do not blame yourself for permanent stupidity, but you understand that in general the situation is developing normally. This new awareness relaxes you and automatically manifests itself in the same charming smoothness, in the manner of speaking, in the confident sexy gait.”

Blade Runner

Constantly, throughout life, each of us solves the same problem: how to show ourselves in a more interesting way, in order to interest others and not remain “faceless”. At the same time, it is very important not to overdo it, so that society, God forbid, does not turn away from you. A charming person is best able to balance on this razor blade.

“Each of us has our own measure, this must be understood,” says Ekaterina Sobchik. – What Ranevskaya allowed herself would not suit a flower girl. Sometimes we fall into this trap, trying to imitate someone, but it comes out vulgar and unconvincing. The only thing you can afford is to adopt small technical tricks from your neighbor like “look at how she holds her purse, you need to remember”...

About matriarchy

In Russian, the verb “to charm” initially had a slight taste of deception. In Vladimir Dahl’s dictionary there is the following example: “he completely charmed him: he leads him by the nose” and gives beautiful word“charm” in the meaning of “cheat”.

Does he speak this fact about the fact that with the help of natural talent plus some technique of human relationships, we simply fool the opposite sex?

“I don’t think so,” says Ekaterina Sobchik. “We're just trying to live up to certain expectations.” According to a long-standing social psychological study, a man sees the ideal woman not some kind or smart one, but above all feminine.”

The man is aimed at a traditional family, there is nothing wrong with that. But what does a woman want? Why should she become perfect and take charm courses - in order to rule the world on an equal basis with Him?

“Now the whole problem is because of this: emancipation. We women are mysterious creatures. We dream of being freed from some household responsibilities, we want to socialize, and at the same time we want something from men. In classes at the School, I say: “If you all consider yourself feminists, then there is no point in learning the art of feminine charms. “No, we want to get married!” - they answer me. “What do we want from men?” - “Well, to take care of, protect, help...” So, it’s clear! Where are the ideas of emancipation here then: test tube babies and all that? I think that modern society is in some kind of intermediate state, and it is not at all a fact that matriarchy will return...”

Instructions

Think about what feelings prevail in your soul when you find yourself. If you feel insecure, worry about your appearance and how your interlocutors think about you, you will not be able to charm the people around you.

Learn to relax and relieve tension - constant pressure It will only push other people away. Be free and casual, confident that your personality is valuable and unique.

In addition, you need to be tactful with others. A subtle sense of tact allows the charming person not to focus on the mistakes of others, politely and with interest, showing maximum attention to the words of each of his interlocutors. Show sincere interest in your interlocutor so that he feels comfortable with you.

Try not to be influenced by the views of others - stop caring whether someone likes you or not. The only person who is attractive is the one who doesn't constantly think about how to make a good impression on someone.

Believe in own strength, and then other people will believe in you. You can please someone only when you have self-confidence and a sense of self-worth. Trust yourself and others - demonstrate complete calmness and friendliness, which will undoubtedly be passed on to your interlocutors.

Don't be cunning and don't deceive people. Always say what you think and try to be integral and consistent, whose actions correspond to your words and desires.

Be sincere, spontaneous and reasonable, accept yourself for who you are and accept others for who they really are. This acceptance and this openness will allow you to become a real company.

Charm is a human quality that defies a simple and obvious explanation. It’s a strange thing, some person can look completely normal and not be different outstanding achievements, but for some reason everyone around him just loves him. Sometimes charm is also called charisma.

And what is so special about this person?

Despite the fact that others often consider a charming person to be handsome, if you look closely, you will notice that this is not always the case. But it is absolutely certain that charming people always have a special smile that endears them and makes them incredibly attractive. And when charm and beauty come together, it turns out dangerous mix, which creates an almost physically tangible aura of attractiveness around a person.

As for exclusively female charm, this is a special quality due to which some representatives of the fair sex are considered unforgettable; according to psychologists, it is associated with receptivity and emotionality. The girl who feels subtly the world and is able to empathize, she is always especially attractive to others, especially men. She may have an ordinary appearance, but she will never be bored without fans.

In the everyday understanding, charm is something that a person is endowed with by nature. Either you have charm or you don’t, that’s how it is public opinion. But image makers take a different view on this issue. They break down charm into its components and explain what determines what others think about you.

Directed Charm

According to psychologists, every person has a hidden potential for charm. This quality awakens in people when they meet those with whom they feel good and comfortable. For example, when a person falls in love, he seems to glow with happiness from within, and at this time he is usually very charming.

How to be charming

There are some behavioral tools that help a person behave more freely and relaxed, which ultimately leads to an increase in the level of charm. According to research, people perceive and form opinions about others based on non-verbal cues, which account for about 80-90% of attention. This is facial expressions, gestures, gait, intonation. People react to this automatically; this is an algorithm built into us by nature.

Very often, people, especially in Russia, frown, squint their eyes a little, or purse their lips into a kind of “anti-smile.” To check how natural this is for you, go to the mirror and try to give a speech as if there was an audience in front of you. If your facial expressions are hostile, then you shouldn’t be surprised that people don’t welcome you with open arms.

Gestures are a special topic for conversation. Many people are characterized by defensive or closing gestures, when a person crosses his arms or legs, half turns away from the interlocutor, and tries to seem to isolate himself from him. Gestures of boredom or irritation and boredom are just as bad, such as coughing, rubbing the tip of your nose, or fiddling with a small object in your hands.

To become more charming, practice open gestures. Turn your whole body towards the interlocutor, smile during the conversation, listen to him carefully. Even these simple gestures will not slow down to cause an amazing effect!

“What’s so special about her (or him)?” – just from this question alone, hanging suspended in the air, you can easily guess: they are talking about a charming person. He may never win a beauty contest, he has a slight lisp and the hair on his head is scattered with the swirls of past hobbies, he is certainly charming - all your mutual acquaintances admit this. What's the matter? And he was just born this way!

For some reason, it is believed that charm is a kind of compensation for imperfect appearance: they say, nature is wise and does not tolerate injustice. As an example, the names of the Divines of this world are usually given: Faina Ranevskaya, Edith Piaf, Margaret Thatcher, finally!

However, if you think about it, history also knows a huge number of charming beauties, for example Princess Diana, Sophia Loren or, say, Ornella Muti. So there are a great many “beauty-charm” combinations.

Image makers believe that both of these definitions belong to different orders: beauty is an evaluative concept, and charm is an emotional category. Have you ever wondered why Russian women are considered the most beautiful in the world? Some psychologists suggest that this phenomenon is associated precisely with their emotionality, which opens up enormous opportunities for self-expression and ultimately creates the illusion of amazing external attractiveness.

Speaking about female attractiveness, Sophia Loren subtly noticed that men notice smart women, “snatch them out of the crowd” with beautiful eyes, and only charming ones... are not forgotten. Why?

From God and from people

“What is charm and where does it come from?” - I ask Ekaterina Sobchik, the head of the School of Charm and the author of the methodology by which women learn the art of charm. “For 15 years I haven’t read anything worthwhile on this subject,” my interlocutor laughs. – This is such an amazing way of self-expression, something irrational... There are completely inexplicable things in the world, for example love. It is still unclear what kind of process this is - biochemical or coming, say, from space? Love can be very different: for some it is spiritual, for others it is downright hormonal. And charm also consists of a lot of things - there is the concept of negative charm, there is the charm of modesty. Some of us own the hearts of thousands of fans, while others defeat a single person on the spot. “What did you see in him?” - the friends are surprised. “Well, well, well!” - follows an admiring answer. By and large, this is given by God, but some things can be adjusted. If you own some behavioral tool, you stress yourself and stress others less. You can help a person become more relaxed, free, and at the same time expand the arsenal of means of influencing others, and he will begin to attract attention.”

Theater of facial expressions and gestures

I want to learn the art of being attractive! If only I could learn some tricky tricks...

“You can become more charming by paying attention to the full range of nonverbal behavior,” advises Ekaterina Sobchik. “I mean your facial expressions, gait (which is very important for a woman!), gestures, intonation, and so on.”

According to various authors, “nonverbal” accounts for 80 to 90 percent of human perception of a person. So much more meaningful than words is everything that our body, gestures, and facial expressions express. This is our oldest, first in a row, signaling system, so they react to its signs almost automatically. So if you want to become more attractive, you will have to look at your own habits from the outside.

The most difficult thing is to try to wean yourself from clearly negative facial signals: stop frowning, twisting your mouth angrily, or squinting your eyes when talking with your interlocutor. Do you think this is not typical for you? Well, let's go to the mirror... Very often the impression that we want to make on our interlocutor does not coincide with the impression that we actually make on him.

“When I know something about myself, I understand how others evaluate me,” says Ekaterina Sobchik. – Each of us wears some kind of mask, and in communication we often begin to “mirror” each other: if your face is tense, willy-nilly I will also begin to tense, returning a negative signal to you. However, if I understand that my own facial expressions are to blame, I will stop blaming the whole world for going to war against me. This approach has a huge psychotherapeutic effect.”

Gestures, postures, movements

What else should the future goddess of charm not do? For example, you need to forget about the so-called “gestures of suppression” (this is when you cut space with your palm, slam the air with your hand from top to bottom, or “point with your finger”). Also pay attention to whether you have one of the “closed poses” that are usually taken out of self-doubt (crossed arms, looking at the floor). Another bad habit is to demonstrate so-called “gestures of irritation”: coughing every now and then, rubbing the tip of your nose, fidgeting in your chair, tugging at your earring, looking for a lighter on the table, and so on. In this way you are signaling: I am a terribly busy person, and I don’t have time for you... Some women show boredom by shaking their legs.

In general, charm presupposes a certain demonstrativeness: I need to light you up so that you pay attention to me. One of the techniques for attracting attention is... slowing down the movement. Try placing the cup on the table so that it doesn't knock. Or take an object as if it were a kitten: on the one hand, you really want to, because it’s nicely fluffy, but on the other hand, it’s a little scary: the animal might bite you. Practice a little, and you will get a kind of feminine movement that you can play at the “X hour”.

Gait is an extremely important moment for a woman, and it seems that Marilyn Monroe knew about this without the help of psychologists. Evil tongues explain her famous gait with two possible reasons: some talk about a congenital defect - supposedly one of the film star’s legs was shorter. Others claim that Ms. Monroe deliberately filed down the heels of her shoes.

If you want to correct your gait, you can do the following exercise. Place a thick book on your head and walk with it back and forth around the room for a while so that the book does not fall. When you can successfully perform this trick 10 times in a row, you will notice that your gait has changed. The exercise should be done 2-3 times a week. If you want to monitor your gait, stretch a cord on the floor and walk in an elongated line. The arms should hang freely so that their movements are natural, connected with the rhythm of the stroke.

Intonation

Marlene Dietrich - the female sphinx, the female goddess was delightful in many ways, but her most exquisite instrument of seduction was her voice - not strong, but perfectly modulated. Hemingway once said: “If Marlene Dietrich had nothing more than her voice, she could break hearts with it alone.” As for us, mere mortals, to make the appearance attractive it will be enough to “remove from circulation” the shrill, hysterical notes.

Equality to yourself

Stop! It seems I’m doing something wrong... Firstly, I’ll never remember all these tricks anyway (everything listed is only part of them), and going to conquer the world with a cheat sheet in my hands is somehow awkward. Secondly, it is impossible to turn into a princess of charm with the help of technical gadgets alone, although, admittedly, they help out. We all run around at breakneck speed, smoke, sometimes swear, and if, under such conditions, we suddenly try to suffer through some kind of soft white and fluffy “woman,” no one will believe in this transformation. So what really comes out: “to Caesar what is Caesar’s, and to the mechanic what is mechanic’s”?

“There is such an important concept for me - self-equality,” says Ekaterina Sobchik. – That is, the main thing is to learn not to jump above your head, but also not to belittle your dignity. You make the most of your own potential - your appearance, your personality. The transformation from a frog to a princess occurs thanks to an internal reassessment of values... You no longer perceive failure as defeat, you do not blame yourself for permanent stupidity, but you understand that in general the situation is developing normally. This new awareness relaxes you and automatically manifests itself in the same charming smoothness, in the manner of speaking, in the confident sexy gait.”

Blade Runner

Constantly, throughout life, each of us solves the same problem: how to show ourselves in a more interesting way, in order to interest others and not remain “faceless”. At the same time, it is very important not to overdo it, so that society, God forbid, does not turn away from you. A charming person is best able to balance on this razor blade.

“Each of us has our own measure, this must be understood,” says Ekaterina Sobchik. – What Ranevskaya allowed herself would not suit a flower girl. Sometimes we fall into this trap, trying to imitate someone, but it comes out vulgar and unconvincing. The only thing you can afford is to adopt small technical tricks from your neighbor like “look at how she holds her purse, you need to remember”...

About matriarchy

In Russian, the verb “to charm” initially had a slight taste of deception. In Vladimir Dahl’s dictionary there is the following example: “he completely charmed him: he leads him by the nose,” and the beautiful word “charm” is given in the meaning of “rogue.”

Does this fact mean that with the help of natural talent plus some technique of human relationships, we simply fool the opposite sex?

“I don’t think so,” says Ekaterina Sobchik. “We're just trying to live up to certain expectations.” According to long-standing socio-psychological research, a man sees an ideal woman not as kind or smart, but above all as feminine.”

The man is aimed at a traditional family, there is nothing wrong with that. But what does a woman want? Why should she become perfect and take charm courses - in order to rule the world on an equal basis with Him?

“Now the whole problem is because of this: emancipation. We women are mysterious creatures. We dream of being freed from some household responsibilities, we want to socialize, and at the same time we want something from men. In classes at the School, I say: “If you all consider yourself feminists, then there is no point in learning the art of feminine charms. “No, we want to get married!” - they answer me. “What do we want from men?” - “Well, to take care of, protect, help...” So, it’s clear! Where are the ideas of emancipation here then: test tube babies and all that? It seems to me that modern society is in some kind of intermediate state, and it is not at all a fact that matriarchy will return...”