Psychology: Anger reveals true attitude. Anger: everything you wanted to know about anger

A person can express not only positive but also negative emotions. Usually to positive emotions people have no complaints. But they learn to manage negative emotions. Undoubtedly, one must cope with one’s emotions, for whatever reasons they arise, since in their negative aspect they often force a person to destroy, destroy and cause harm, which is unacceptable by society. And one of these negative emotions is anger.

Absolutely all people are angry. The online magazine site calls anger the natural manifestation of a person who, for some reason, suddenly became dissatisfied. Anger differs from aggression in that anger is an emotion and is a state. Anger precedes aggression, and aggression is based on anger.

Anger is an emotion that arises in a person in response to the reality that surrounds him. Usually anger is a response to troubles, unpleasant events, something that a person did not expect or did not want to receive. expected something or hoped for something, but achieved a different result. As a result, internal anger arises, which, if it grows, will turn into aggression.

Troubles always happen at the wrong time. Therefore, there is no need to be angry because you did not expect something, but it happened. No one ever expects something bad to happen. All people hope only for good things to happen. But life is not a utopia, so troubles happen, and they are never timely or desired.

Troubles always happen at the wrong time, you should get used to this and learn to react calmly. Understand that negative events will happen and will always be unwanted. But you have a choice: be calm about what happened and simply survive it, or react violently to it, trying to return what was left from you. In which case do you think you will suffer more? You will only cause pain to yourself if you begin to fight reality, trying to regain the happiness that you had before this event. You do not accept the present, trying to return to the past. Have you ever managed to overcome real world and turn back time?

Some troubles are temporary and fleeting, some are life-changing. But in any case, you have to get used to what happened, trying to fix the problem. And calmness is important here, which helps to think soberly and see the picture as a whole, and not just part of it.

What is anger?

Anger is understood as a violent negative reaction of a person, which is expressed in a change in mood, a negative attitude towards what is happening and destructive behavior. Usually a person in a state of anger does not sit still. He is actively gesticulating, trying to do something. Anger often causes destruction of property or fights between people.

In a state of anger, a person does not think and does not control his actions. This is the period when he considers all his actions to be correct, since they are usually aimed at destroying the trouble that caused them. This should be understood by others who begin to wonder why a person is angry. He no longer thinks, but simply acts. It will be difficult to penetrate his mind. Here it is important to protect yourself from a person while he is in a state of anger.

Anger is an emotion aimed at destroying, suppressing or eliminating what caused it. This can be either a person or some inanimate object. You should know that anger is a short-lived emotion, which is good for both the person himself and those around him. Therefore, they often advise people in a state of anger to withdraw from society until the emotions subside, which does not take much time.

When angry, a person becomes very tense. His face expresses anger, his muscles tense, his body becomes like a tense string, his fists and teeth clench, his face turns red. The person inside “boils”, feels a huge surge of energy, which is aimed at eliminating the trouble that caused this emotion to arise.

Controlling yourself in a state of anger is quite difficult, as even psychologists say. Typically, anger is dangerous because the thought process is turned off, and instincts aimed at destroying the enemy (trouble) are turned on. However, a person is able to control himself. This will require practice and a conscious approach to what is happening.

Reasons for anger

Anger is not a bad emotion because it is given to a person to maintain his balance and harmony. If a person finds himself in a dangerous situation, then he needs anger, which gives energy and the ability to defend himself. However, in modern conditions In life, a person rarely encounters situations where he needs to fight for his survival. Therefore, anger was transformed: it began to arise in situations that are simply associated with some destabilization of life comfort.

The causes of anger are:

Prolonged fear or feeling of discomfort during which the person endured inconvenience.
and various obstacles that prevent a person from achieving his goals.
Insults and criticism towards a person who at the same time feels morally disadvantaged.
Another person's refusal.
Exhibiting objectionable behavior.
Not getting what you want.

The longer anger lasts, the more exhausted a person becomes, whose energy spills out left and right, often without productive results.

Every reader should understand that his anger is a reaction to something happening that simply does not suit him. As already mentioned, life does not have to please a person all the time. From time to time, situations will arise that are unpleasant for a person. If you always treat problems and troubles as completely normal phenomena in life, then anger can be controlled. This emotion will simply indicate something you don't like. And the energy that anger will produce can be directed in a constructive direction.

How to manage anger?

Anger arises only in a situation where a person is not happy with something, but there is a feeling that it can be dealt with. All people develop anger differently:

Alone long time they burn, but then subside.
Others instantly light up and first take actions (often destructive), which already calm them down.

There is no need to say that a person in a state of anger can control himself. Often this emotion turns off consciousness so that a person thinks less and acts more to achieve a single result - eliminating an obstacle or trouble.

People don't always react negatively to anger. For example, anger caused by injustice is considered noble because a person under its influence tries to restore balance. Also, anger on the part of a man is considered attractive. It refers to the strength and masculinity that should be inherent in a man. Moreover, if a woman shows anger, she is called weak and irrational.

Despite the positive and negative aspects that anger brings to a person, it still needs to be managed. It is not proposed here to eliminate it or ignore it, which cannot be done due to the strength of its impact on humans. Psychologists recommend using anger in a good direction, that is, when it arises, doing things that you will later be proud of, and not regret doing them.

Managing anger means directing its energy in a direction that benefits you. If you are angry, give yourself the opportunity to stop for a moment and think about what you want to achieve and how to do it so that you do not regret what you did and do not pay for it.

How to deal with anger?

Don't blame yourself or criticize yourself for succumbing to your own anger. You will not help yourself and will not improve the situation. Anger will arise in you in a situation where your expectations were not realized. Here it is recommended not to be offended by yourself because of your angry nature, but to develop a strategy that helps you cope with anger.

Switch your attention. To reduce the “degree” of your anger, simply switch your attention to something else. Stay in a different situation for a while until your emotions subside.
Understand what is happening. Often people become aggressive because they do not fully understand what is happening. They are not actually in danger, they received incorrect information, they were deceived, etc., which is why they are angry. In order not to succumb to emotions, you need to understand the situation, whether your anger is really justified.
Let your emotions out. Here psychologists suggest doing active sports, hitting a punching bag, dishes or a pillow. You can even hang up a photo of your opponent and throw darts at him. It is not recommended to suppress emotions, as they will spill out again in any irritable situation.
Look at yourself in the mirror. Try to admire yourself when you are angry. Usually a person cannot look at himself while in this state.

Psychologists recommend analyzing what is happening each time and understanding how senseless and unfounded your anger was. This should be done after you have calmed down. Understand the situation, understand what caused your anger, how necessary it turned out to be. At the end, draw a conclusion for yourself about how you will act in the future in similar situations. Try to stick to your own decision. Take control of yourself if you want to be a strong person.

How to ultimately control your anger?

You can learn to control anger if you learn it and make every effort:

If your self-esteem is hurt, then allow yourself to relax to the criticism and insults of your opponent. If he doesn't like something, that's his problem. Don’t stress yourself out because someone doesn’t like something.
Self-defense. If your life, body or personality is threatened, then allow your anger to manifest. You need to protect yourself, otherwise people will sit on your neck or start treating you with disrespect.
Denial of your desires. If you are faced with a situation where other people live in a way that makes you angry, then you need to relax. Don't interfere in other people's lives. Allow them to be as unhappy, wrong and sick as they seem to you. Better take care of yourself. And don’t stop other people from living the way they want.
Unrealization of desires. Anger can also be a consequence of not achieving goals. Here you should calm down in order to be able to analyze what happened and see own mistakes. It was you who took some actions that did not allow you to achieve your goals. See what you did wrong, then correct the actions.

Anger is a rejection of the situation that happens to a person. There can be many reasons, as well as strategies for one’s own behavior when anger arises.

Anger, anger, irritation are negative emotions that can worsen relationships with people, and life in general. They are difficult to control. Sometimes they justify their behavior and words. But this is a negative affective reaction of a person - that is, something that does not last long, but proceeds very violently (here we mean emotions). The stronger the anger, the stronger his reaction will be. In this state, a person’s face often turns red, and he is ready to literally destroy everything around him, or at least the source of irritation.

In a fit of anger, people often commit rash acts, for which they then have to pay literally - with money or deal with the resentment of loved ones or others. Anger and excessive anger most often play a negative role in a person’s life. That's why it's so important to learn how to deal with it.

Anger is an emotion. Therefore, it is not entirely correct to talk about how to overcome anger or stop being angry. More like learn to control your emotions generally. You will have to fight not only with anger in particular, but rather with yourself in the manifestation of your emotions. Having gained control over your condition, life will immediately become much easier, it will be easier to build relationships with people and you can avoid many mistakes that happen due to intemperance.

How to control anger?

First of all, you need to understand for yourself that if attacks of anger are repeated frequently (more than once every two weeks), then this is not a good sign. It may indicate the presence of mental disorders of various types, ranging from stress, neurosis and ending mental illness. If you decide to deal with anger, then that is already good. This means that you have admitted that you have a problem. We took one of the most difficult steps in changing ourselves, we decided to fight our character.

Briefly, we can highlight the main prerequisites for the emergence of anger:

Stress, psychological stress, fear. These factors can be combined, or they can act as separate reasons. When a person is scared, all his internal reserves are mobilized, anger will be a way of protecting himself from a threatening situation.
As an acceptable form of behavior. Almost everyone is surrounded by people who, without a twinge of conscience, shout at others, are rude, or even get into fights at the slightest provocation. In this case, anger acts as a dose of adrenaline and a way of obtaining pleasure - a person likes to make sure that he is much stronger than others, this gives him sadistic pleasure.
As a way to express excessive stress. There are people who do not show their negative emotions for a long time. Tension grows inside. There comes a moment when a person “splashes” everything out at once.

If you understand what exactly causes irritation most often and why it occurs in a particular person in specific situations, then it will become easier to control your excessive anger and irritability. We need to approach this problem more intelligently, with a minimum of emotions and subjective experiences. Just the facts. You can prepare yourself in advance for the possibility of irritation.

Can anger be normal?

It may be a variant of normal, situation-appropriate behavior. If a person manifests it in the event of danger (imaginary or real) or it arises one-time, from excessive emotional stress. Excessive anger cannot be normal in the common sense. Constant irritation is always bad. You need to look for reasons first of all within yourself. External factors- most often not reasons, but only phenomena predisposing to anger. Internal factors - fatigue, stress, disappointment, fear can also be predisposing factors to the manifestation of malice. How to cope with irritability and anger in this case? Think about yourself, about your condition. Rest and relax more often. Sometimes it's good to let things go. Everything can resolve itself.

Anger is a normal human reaction to unmet needs if it is expressed in socially acceptable forms and does not infringe on anyone’s rights. Anger comes at moments when it is impossible to get or achieve something. Sometimes it is more expedient to lower your demands on others, and try to satisfy your needs in acceptable ways and pacify your emotions.

Reasons for anger

Psychology looks at anger reactions from different perspectives. Some authors in psychology believe that if a person can control his emotions, he will be able to solve many problems in the development of his personality. Some, on the contrary, believe that since emotions are short-term reactions, they do not require careful analysis. Perhaps, if anger and anger are subordinated to reason, life will actually become easier. This is, on the one hand.

But on the other hand, a person cannot be a robot. Moreover, emotions help to understand another person. Anger, like any other emotion, can play both a negative and positive role in a person’s life. Often it acts as a defensive reaction. Or when a person takes a defensive position. When he no longer thinks much about how to control his anger or irritability. His thoughts are occupied with protection from surrounding or external circumstances. This is especially true for children.

Anger can be a signal to others, like it’s dangerous to approach. In fact, there can be many functions. But for the person himself, manifestations of anger and irritability are more likely to Negative influence on general state. Anger depletes the psyche and makes it more vulnerable. This is also why it is so important to know how to curb your anger and malice. A person begins to get angry and irritated when something doesn’t go at all the way he planned or wanted.

The main reason is the inability (unwillingness) to restrain oneself at a particular moment. Not the circumstances that this moment cause irritation, namely a person’s inability to respond to specific circumstances without getting angry or angry.

How to get rid of anger?

It’s worth noting right away that you need to fight not with one-time manifestations, you need to deal with internal reasons anger and try to eliminate them. If you notice that attacks of anger began to occur relatively recently, then this a clear sign internal tension. We need to work with him. Understand yourself, first. Why do you express your negative emotions so violently? How to overcome anger? Let us immediately note that it is impossible to completely free ourselves from this. People cannot always keep themselves within strict limits. Negative emotions sometimes need to be expressed.

If anger is the norm for you, that is, it is your constant companion, and all your acquaintances are already accustomed to the fact that if something happens you throw up and rant, then it’s already more difficult. Anger has become a character trait, and you will have to fight not with anger, but with your malice.

In the case where anger is only a one-time way to “relieve” tension, it occurs rarely, then there is no particular reason for concern. Unless, of course, people suffer too much from this.

Ways to deal with anger:

Open verbal expression. Examples: “I’m so angry now, I’m ready to kill everyone,” “This situation makes me terribly angry, I don’t know how to influence it anymore,” “It annoys me when people do this. Why are they doing this? It’s okay, even if these phrases are heard in a raised voice. The main thing is not to overdo it.
Physical exercise. When you feel that anger is slowly taking over you, try to find a way for intense, short-term physical activity– squats, push-ups, running, lifting and dragging heavy objects. 3-5 minutes is enough, the anger will subside. Even brisk walking will do. After this, you will be able to express your indignation in a more civilized manner.
Autotraining (internal training). Special breathing exercises or at least just take deep breaths and exhales. Count to yourself, and if possible, then count out loud the best way. Not necessarily serial. You need to “load” your brain with any mathematical operations, even complex ones. This will only be a plus and will help you restrain yourself.
You can go eat or drink tea. Food has a calming effect. Gives energy. And delicious food can relieve irritation. Chocolate, cakes, candies. Gives sweets good mood. Let it be for a while. But this time will be enough for the negativity to go away. It's hard to be angry all the time.

You just need to remember that these methods can help if there are no serious internal problems. Anxiety, fear, and unrest only provoke outbursts of anger and aggression. It would be naive to think that attacks of anger can be dealt with easily and simply. This process can take many months. All difficulties must be overcome gradually. Especially if it has become a behavior style. Then uncontrollable outbursts of anger turn into rudeness and incontinence, into an inability to control oneself.

Prolonged anger, stress and harbored resentment harm our adrenal glands and immune system.

Can you remember last time when have you been really angry with someone? Were you so angry that you just shook at the thought of this person? Very rarely does feeling angry help us get what we want. Often it works against us, causing unnecessary pain.

Even the most gentle natures can turn into a vengeful scoundrel at some point if they are pushed to do so.

Various situations in life make us feel sad, hurt, disappointed and angry. Words of hatred come from our lips, although we would never have thought that we were capable of such a thing. We cease to be ourselves, those calm and sincere people we are used to seeing ourselves as. And no, we don't like who we turn into. Negative emotions destroy us, we need to fight and overcome them.

The same method can be used to deal with all negative emotions. To make things easier to understand, we will use anger as the target emotion that needs to be overcome. Remember that this method can also help you cope with other unfavorable strong emotions such as jealousy, guilt, hatred, regret and fear.

Why do we feel disgusting?

Answer: very simple. Let me explain. An emotion is our body's response to a thought that may be caused by an external situation. But we look at this situation through the prism of our ideas. And our prism is colored by mental concepts unique to each of us, such as good and evil, mine and yours, like - don't like, right - wrong. Remember that we all have different lenses, and therefore conflicts when interpreting a situation are inevitable.

For example, if someone loses their wallet, our emotions are not that strong. But if it is our own money, we suddenly begin to feel pain and the desire to regain what we lost.

If we have something that we define for ourselves as “ours,” we will experience moral discomfort if we realize that we have lost something or are at risk of losing it.

It doesn't matter what it is. It could be my wallet, my pride, my money, my house, my car, my job, my child, my stocks, my feelings or my dog. As long as we feel that it is lost to us or there is a threat of loss, we will experience pain in the form of anger or other strong negative emotion.

We experience pain because we have been taught since childhood to think that those things that we have labeled as “mine” are something that defines who we are.

We identify ourselves with a thing and mistakenly believe that if we have lost something, or can lose it, then we will lose ourselves. Suddenly our ego has nothing left to identify with. Who are we? This question causes great pain to our ego. In our souls we feel that we have the right to more: more money , more respect, better job or a larger house. And we fail to understand that our mind will always want more. Greed is a mental state akin to drug addiction

, which constantly grows, blinds us, alienates us from reality, and at the same time convinces us that we are acting wisely.

Common components of anger:

Injustice

“We believe that we were treated unfairly.” We tell ourselves that we deserve better, and we buy into the fantasy that someone has treated us unfairly.

A loss

– We feel that we have lost something with which we identified ourselves. Feelings, pride, money, car, work.

– We blame other people or external situations as the cause of our loss, we blame them for the fact that we became their victim. This guilt is often only in our minds and is a product of our imagination. We are simply unable to see what is happening from other people's point of view. We become deeply selfish.

Pain

- We are in pain psychological stress and anxiety. Pain causes physical reactions in our body that disrupt the natural flow of energy and threaten our state of well-being.

Focus

– We focus our attention on those things that we do not want in our lives, and thereby feed them with energy, because we complain about them with inspiration and repeat our complaints to all those who are ready to listen to us. This creates a kind of vicious circle of anger. “We get more of what we focus on.” And this is true, regardless of emotion.

The interesting thing is that if there are two irritated people who are unhappy with each other, then both feel a sense of loss and injustice. Both feel pain and the need to blame the other person. Who is right? Answer: Both are right and both are wrong.

Why should we work on ourselves and overcome anger?

Negative emotions like anger push our body into survival mode, as if telling our body, “We are in danger.” To prepare us for “fight or flight,” a special physiological change occurs in our body. These physiological reactions interrupt the natural flow of energy in our body, which affects our heart, immune system, digestion and hormone production. Therefore, negative emotion is a kind of toxin for the body that interferes with harmonious functioning and balance.

Prolonged anger, stress and harbored resentment harm our adrenal glands and immune system. In women, overload of the adrenal glands can affect the reproductive organs (uterus, ovaries), causing pathologies that theoretically can lead to infertility.

Isn't your physical and mental health worth more than all the psychological pressure you voluntarily submit to?

Is it even worth reacting by responding to our own negative emotions and hurt feelings just to temporarily satisfy our pride?

Anger also clouds our judgment and we become consumed by problems and pain. Instead of moving away from them, becoming free from self-inflicted pain, we make irrational, unwise, self-defeating decisions that will make us regret them. In the case of divorces, for example, legal fees alone can eat away savings, leaving both parties unhappy and poor. In this case, no one wins!

Theoretical basis of mood changes.

Do you notice how quickly you can fall into a negative mood? Perhaps a fraction of a second. On the same basis, we can assume that the same amount of time must be required to move into a productive state. However, the problem is that from an early age we were prepared to remain in an unproductive state. No one introduced us to methods on how to change our state to a positive one. Often even our parents didn’t know this, and they still don’t know.

When negative feelings arise, we have two options:

To follow the habitual pattern that we learned as children, to react and allow the negativity to consume us.

Break the pattern that has been built into us and, in doing so, create new roads that will create alternative opportunities for us.

There are actually three ways to break a behavioral pattern:

Visual – Change your thoughts.

Verbal – Change the way you express your thoughts.

Kinesthetic – Change your physical position.

Okay, now let's move on to practice...

How to overcome anger

Some of these methods may be more effective for some, less effective for others. For me, “Look up!” - most effective method(that's why it comes first on this list). I have also noticed good results when using several of these methods at once.

1. Look up!!!

Most quick way change negative feelings and overcome anger - instantly change our physical situation. The easiest way to do this is to change the position of your eyes. When we are in negative state, we are most likely looking down. If we look sharply upward (relative to our visual plane), we interrupt the negative pattern of sinking into the quicksand of negative emotions.

Any sudden change physical position will help with this:

Stand up and stretch, while letting out an audible sigh.
Change your facial expression, work with your facial expressions.
Go to a window illuminated by the sun.
Do 10 jumping jacks in place, changing the position of your arms and legs.
Do a funny dance as a joke on yourself.
Massage the back of your neck with one hand and sing the Happy Birthday song at the same time.

Try this the next time you feel in a negative mood or an unpleasant thought comes into your head.

2. What do you want?

Sit down and write down exactly what you want to get out of the current situation. Your task is to describe the end result that you would like to see. Be clear, realistic and honest. Be detailed in your description. Write down even the dates you would like to see results.

If you have a clear plan and you notice what you are referring to negative thoughts about what you don't want, you can just focus on this list.

Also, when we consciously do this exercise, we can realize that those random material things that we seemed to need are not necessary.

3. Eliminate from your speech: no, no.

Words like “don’t”, “no”, “can’t” make us focus on what we don’t want. Language and speech have great power and can influence our subconscious, and accordingly, our feelings. If you find yourself using a negative word, consider whether you can replace it with another word with positive value. For example: instead of saying “I don’t want war,” say “I want peace.”

4. Find the light

Darkness goes away only when light appears (for example, light from a lamp, or the sun). In the same way, negativity can be replaced with positivity. Remember that no matter what happens to us on an external level, or how bad things seem to us in our thoughts, we can always choose to speak and see things positively.

I know it's hard to do when you're going through a storm of emotions, but I firmly believe that we can learn something new from every situation we encounter.

Look for your lesson. Find something to gain for yourself in the situation, no matter what it is: something material or a mental understanding of something new, or personal growth. Find the light so you can rid yourself of the darkness in your mind.

5. Give in

Give in to our ego's eternal need to be right, to blame, to be angry and vindictive. Surrender in the face of the moment. Give in to the urge to worry about the situation. Become mindful. Monitor your thoughts and learn to separate your thoughts from your personality. Your thoughts are not you.

The game will reach its logical conclusion regardless of whether we give in to emotions or not. Believe me, the cosmos will follow its course, and what needs to happen will happen. If we do not give in, we will simply stress ourselves out for no reason, and as a result our body will suffer.

6. Zone of influence

When we're in bad mood, we can easily fall into a vicious cycle of negative emotions. We will not feel better if we are around people who also complain about the same problems. It won't help us feel better.

Instead, find a group of people with a positive outlook on life. If we have such people near us, they will remind us of what we already know deep down in our souls, and we can begin to realize goodness and positive sides life. When we are in a bad mood, we can draw energy from them to rise above our problems and negativity.

Just as being around negative people can negatively affect you, being around happy and optimistic people can increase our awareness and help us get out of this unproductive state.

7. Gratitude exercise

Take a notepad and pen and find a quiet place. List (in as much detail as possible) everything you are grateful for in your life: things that happened in the past or present, or things that will happen in the future; these could be relationships, friendships, opportunities, or material acquisitions.

Fill out the entire page and use as many pages as you have things you are grateful for. Be sure to thank your heart and body.

It's a simple yet underrated way to help us focus on what really matters.

This exercise can lift our mood. It also helps us gain clarity and remind ourselves that we have much to be grateful for.

No matter how bad things get, we always, absolutely always have something to be grateful for. For that matter, we have the gift of life, we are free to grow, to learn, to help others, to create, to experience, to love. I have also found that meditating quietly for 5-10 minutes before this exercise and visualizing everything on your list after the exercise makes the process more effective. Try it yourself!

Most of us breathe shallowly, and air only enters the upper part of the lungs. Deep breathing exercises will help our brain and body receive more oxygen. Try it:

Sit upright in a chair, or stand up.

Make sure that the clothing does not press anywhere, especially in the stomach area.

Inhale through your nose. Exhale through your mouth.

Place one hand on your stomach.

As you inhale, feel your arm rise as air fills your lungs all the way to your diaphragm.

As you exhale, feel your arm return to its original position.

Mentally count your inhalations and exhalations, gradually align them so that both inhalation and exhalation last the same number of counts.

Gradually add another count as you exhale.

Continue adding counts as you exhale until your exhalation is twice as long as your inhalation.

Repeat this breathing rhythm 5-10 times.

Keep your eyes closed and silent for a few minutes after finishing this exercise.

9. Laugh!

We cannot laugh and be upset at the same time. When we make the physical movement it takes to laugh or smile, we instantly begin to feel cheerful and carefree.

Try it now: smile your most wonderful smile. I need the most sincere and wide smile! How are you feeling? Were you able to feel an immediate surge of joy? Have you forgotten about your problems for a while?

Make a list of movies that make you laugh and keep them at home. Or date a friend who has a sense of humor and can really make you laugh.

10. Forgiveness

I say this to all my vengeful little rascals. I know the idea of forgiving your “enemy” seems counterintuitive. The longer you hold a grudge, the more painful emotions you will experience, the greater the strain on your body, and the more damage you will cause to your long-term health and well-being.

Failing to forgive someone is like drinking poison yourself and waiting for the enemy to die. Only this will never happen.

11. Snap the elastic band

Wear an elastic band around your wrist at all times. Every time you notice a thought that may be drawing you into a sad, negative cycle, click your rubber band. It might hurt a little. But it does teach our minds to avoid such thoughts. Pain is a great motivator.

12. Identify and get rid of your triggers

Sit down and brainstorm a list of cue words and activities that awaken this in us. negative emotion. Perhaps it is the word "divorce", or someone's name, or a visit to a certain restaurant.

Commit to yourself that you will eliminate all mention of these triggers in your life. If we know something will upset us, why would we let it happen?

13. Determine for yourself what anger brings.

List all the things you acquired when you were angry. When you're done with the list, go through it and count the number of positive items that truly contribute to your well-being. Oh, and besides, “wanting to make another person suffer and experience pain” is not considered “promoting your well-being.”

This exercise helps us bring more awareness, rationality and clarity to a situation.

14. Strive for completion. Solve the problem

Don’t drag things out just to “win” or “prove you’re right.” This is not reasonable for any of the parties involved.

If we simply give in to external events and consciously choose not to pay any attention to them, this does not mean that we sit back comfortably and allow others to trample on us.

Take action to help you do next step and bring the solution to the problem closer. Be proactive and thoughtful. The faster you solve the problem, the faster you can free yourself mentally.

Anger is aggression, accompanied by a powerful but short-term emotional outburst, which is aimed at eliminating or sharply leveling the source of discomfort. Distinctive feature anger is that this emotion is usually directed outward and is often provoked by external circumstances.

There can be several reasons for anger.

The first reason is frustration (nervous exhaustion), for example, provoked by long-term and numerous obstacles that interfere with the implementation of what is desired or planned. It may have a specific shade of the problem that we are solving, or it may not have its own characteristics and be of a more general nature, corresponding to our way of life.

Another reason for anger may be a physical threat. When anger is caused by the threat of physical harm, the expression of this emotion can be physical violence (attack), verbal influence (warning, intimidation) or simple flight. Even when trying to escape (which can be considered more like fear), you can experience anger.

Another reason for anger may be something that directly contradicts our core moral values. Such anger is fueled by an categorical belief that one is right. In various combinations with other factors, it is capable of inducing attempts to reconstruct society, through reforms, or through violence (political assassinations or even terrorism).

The cause of anger can also be the anger of another person, which is directed at us. For some people, responding to anger with anger is the norm. This reciprocity manifests itself especially clearly in cases where there is no obvious reason for anger and therefore it seems unjustified. In such cases, the response emotion can be very strong.

Anger arises where a person’s basic needs for security, love, recognition, respect, development, etc. are not satisfied. It is an “accumulated” emotion. It does not appear out of nowhere. This is her distinguishing feature. Behind anger there are always such experiences as pain, fear, resentment. All these feelings are passive, so often it is simply not customary to talk about them. For many people, this is a stereotype of weakness and immaturity. Thanks to this, the illusion arises that anger is spontaneous and appears out of nowhere.

IN emergency situations anger arises to provide additional energy for fighting. Adrenaline is injected into the blood, muscular system mobilizes. The flow of excitement moves along the back to the head, and a grin often appears on the face. The body prepares to attack the source of pain. And the stronger the anger, the greater the excitement.

This emotional condition it is impossible to change instantly: it is practically not subject to conscious control. Suppression is dangerous. When suppressed, energy, not finding a way out, will destroy the body from the inside. In addition, by regularly denying oneself the right to express one’s anger, a person one day risks losing control of oneself, and the reaction to a minor event will be inadequate. The consequences of openly expressing anger are also disappointing: energy loss and a feeling of devastation, broken relationships, etc. Frequent anger inevitably leads to energy exhaustion and depression.

To summarize, it should be noted that this article does not identify all the causes of anger. But, in any case, they all depend on the life experience of a particular person. Being an emotion destructive force, anger is constructive. It is directed by the injured ego to eliminate the source of suffering, i.e. aimed at a positive result. This emotion is very contradictory, but at the same time interesting.