What to do to be respected. How to induce fear in your interlocutor and be guaranteed to win in any negotiations

New job — new life. And this means that you will have to gain authority in the team again. Respect for employees does not come naturally. We must try to ensure that the team accepts the newcomer - or, what is even more difficult, to recognize him as an unspoken leader.

The first rule is to always look good. They are greeted, as they say, by their clothes, but they are seen off by their minds. Therefore, everything is important - hairstyle, shoes, makeup. You should prepare for work just as carefully as you would for a date. After all, everyone knows that it is more pleasant to work with neat and well-dressed people than with sloppy, dirty people.

Try to be confident. Speak loudly and clearly. Don't mumble or jabber. Your speech should be calm and confident. And be sure to smile at people!
When talking to new colleagues, look them in the eyes - this emphasizes your interest in communication and suggests that you are not shy in front of them. If you cannot do this, then look at the point between the eyebrows or on the bridge of the nose. And the interlocutor will think that you are looking straight into their eyes.
Try to remember names. Contact us immediately by first name or patronymic. After all, it has long been known that the most pleasant sounds for a person are the sounds of his name.

Be friendly and sociable. Get involved in conversations, share your knowledge and opinions.
Don't allow yourself to be rude and rude. Some people need to be bold towards other people to maintain a sense of confidence. This bad habit ruined more than one person's life. If you have one, then fight it.
Take up more space. An insecure person is revealed by his modest location in space. He sits on the edge of the chair, tries not to disturb anyone, his elbows are pressed, his legs are crossed under the chair. Remember how you behave in pleasant company. And try to take the same poses.
Maintain your posture and gesticulate less. If you are a leader, then this should be your first rule. After all, a boss should look like a boss - seriously, personably and boldly.

Be sincere. Even if you need to embellish something to make the right impression, don't do it. This will give you a bad reputation.
Don't promise what you can't deliver. Keep your word always and everywhere. Otherwise, you can be branded as a talker.
In any work process, there are moments when your help may be needed. This is fine. But, helping colleagues, don't make it too emotional . Such complete dedication may look like sycophancy to some people. And others may feel that you consider them incompetent employees or simply stupid people. After all, only small children who don’t know how to do anything are so joyfully helped.
Learn to refuse tactfully - so as not to offend the person. After all, due to the fact that it is inconvenient to say “no”, you may not have time to complete the task assigned to you. Politely apologize or offer to help after you've done what your boss told you to do. Read also: How to learn to say “no” - learning to refuse correctly.
If you are a leader, it is very important to learn how to protect your subordinates and defend their interests. This does not mean that you will constantly indulge them. This means that what you think about them, you create for them. Better conditions labor. Show you care from the first day of work!
Work conscientiously. If the newcomer is lazy, then the entire team understands that the unfulfilled volumes will fall on their shoulders. And no one wants to overexert themselves.

Constantly learn, develop as a specialist, a leader and simply as a person . There is no limit to perfection, and your desire to grow will be appreciated.
In the first days, do some reconnaissance — take a closer look at the team. Who is friends with whom, what are the conversations about, what kind of people are here.
Every team has gossipers. You shouldn’t join them, but you shouldn’t wage war with them either. Because either way you will lose. The best option- listen to the person and leave under a good excuse. Under no circumstances should you discuss the news you hear with anyone. After all ideal remedy The fight against gossip is complete ignorance.
Participate in community life - it strengthens the team. If everyone is going to a restaurant, a theater, a movie, or a community cleanup, go with them.
Don't try to please everyone - it's impossible . Be yourself. Because individuals with their own opinions and way of thinking are valued everywhere.
Learn to enjoy other people's successes. This emphasizes your friendliness.
Take criticism appropriately . You need to listen to her, and if you do not agree, calmly express your opinion. But don’t shout, don’t get personal, and don’t get offended.
Accept people as they are . You should not impose your opinion, your ways of solving problems and organizing work moments. Everyone decides for themselves how to live and how to work.
Determine right away who you report to. And follow the instructions of only superior people. Since in almost any team there are those who like to boss around newcomers.
Try not to show excitement - breathe deeply.
Don't act like a bore or a know-it-all. The first few days, simplicity will not hurt.
Don't reveal yourself completely to your colleagues. And this rule applies not only to beginners. Not everyone needs to know what problems you have at home, what your relationship with your husband and children is like. Why wash dirty linen in public? There is a world into which there is no entry for outsiders. Let your colleagues know only about your marital status.
Don't engage in idle chatter in the workplace. The sad fact is that instead of completing assigned tasks, chatterboxes come to work just to chat. They try to fire these employees as soon as possible. Neither their bosses nor their colleagues like them.

Have you ever encountered such a person who behaved badly towards you and did not consider you? How did you feel? Were you outraged? Offended?

5. Treat yourself with respect.

It's funny, but many people expect other people to respect them, but they don't respect themselves. Have you ever scolded yourself for no reason? Do you love yourself completely and unconditionally? Are you exhausting yourself with lack of sleep, poor nutrition or something similar? If you don't respect yourself, you can't expect other people to respect you. Start by treating yourself with love. And after self-love will come the love of others.

6.Behave like a professional.

This means dressing well, being well-mannered, speaking competently and following the rules of etiquette. If you don't know the rules of etiquette, you need to familiarize yourself with them. It will be useful to attend an etiquette class, even if you have a rough idea of what they teach. When I was a student, I took several of these classes on wine tasting, table manners, first meeting behavior, and much more. I believe that they have benefited me. What is studied there is in no way higher mathematics, and what is learned helps in practice, when you know what can and cannot be done in a given situation.

7. Don't slander.

It doesn’t matter in what field of activity - both professional and social communication, don't talk bad about people. By backbiting you will not earn the respect of other people. If you have any complaints about to a certain person or you don't like what he/she is doing, talk to that person. Don't say bad things about him/her behind his/her back because talking behind his/her back will lead to further gossip and innuendo. Whether you realize it or not, it will not only show the bad side of you, but it will also hurt that person. Be honest and open with the people you interact with.

8.Stand up for your beliefs.

Have you ever met people who, without thinking, easily agree with everything no matter what they are told? I have encountered such people, and in the end, their consent ceases to have any meaning. Personally, I have more respect for someone who (politely) disagrees and stands up for their position than someone who always sings along to others. Only having your own own opinion and thinking with your own head, you can achieve the respect of those around you. Don't be afraid to stand up for your beliefs. At the same time, make sure that you do it politely and do not offend others.

9. Be yourself.

Continuing from point 8, be yourself. It is always better to be the original of yourself than to be an exact likeness of someone else. People respect individuals who do not try to imitate anyone. So many people try their best to be something they are not, and in the end they lose their identity. Find yourself, understand what you are. The world needs people who are themselves, not clones of each other.

10. Be an example for others.

Actions speak louder than words. Do you set an example for others with your behavior? Do you adhere to established standards of behavior? Do you gain respect by backing your words with action? A person who is respected by other people, by his personal example, pushes others to do good and right things.

And you? Did any of the advice suggested above resonate with you? Do you have any learned methods on how to gain the respect of others? Feel free to write them in the comments to the article.

There is a well-known popular expression: “I’m not a piece of gold to please everyone.” Someone really doesn’t ask the question “How can I make everyone love me?” The warm feelings of a narrow circle of loved ones are quite enough for them. But many people would not mind being everyone’s favorites. How to please everyone? There are ways!

You want others to treat you with sympathy - in your family, at work, among friends... You are not alone in your aspiration. People are looking for prayers and spells so that everyone will love and respect them, but they can do without any magical techniques. It's easier than you think at first glance. How to get people to love you?

Maintain family ties

Relatives, members of the same family should “automatically” love each other - this is what is commonly believed. However, everyone knows that in reality the situation is much more complicated. You are bound by bonds, that's a fact. But they will be deeper and warmer only if you try to act in such a way that your relatives feel how important they are to you. How to make your relatives love you?

Be prepared to spend time with your family

Show your relatives that you enjoy their company by inviting them over for lunch or a cup of coffee. Offer your sister and brother-in-law to go on a picnic together, sometimes buy theater tickets for your mother-in-law, and take your brother’s wife with you on shopping. Always remember family events, anniversaries, anniversaries. A phone call with wishes or a short visit with a bouquet of flowers will be a trifle for you, but for a lonely aunt it will be a huge reason for joy. If you give someone a gift, choose it wisely to truly bring joy to the recipient.

To make people love you, enjoy their successes.

It happens that relatives compete with each other: who has better job, more successful children, a more comfortable home... This behavior is an inexhaustible source of conflict. Don't get involved in them, avoid comparing yourself with others. Do not emphasize your positions, do not exalt yourself over others, even if your situation is much better than theirs. Compliment the apartment that your brother and his wife have furnished. Show your joy that your sister's son received an excellent certificate. Congratulate cousin with the fact that she managed to get rid of excess weight. If you are concerned about how to please everyone, you will always find a reason to kind words or gesture.

Avoid arguments about finances

Issues related to inheritance and division of property often cause conflicts among family members. If you find yourself in this situation, look for compromise solutions that satisfy both parties. Sometimes it’s even worth giving up something in order to save a good relationship with loved ones and ensure that everyone loves and respects you as a decent and unselfish person.

Take care of harmony in the family

Are you annoyed by your father-in-law's views, or is your mother-in-law driving you crazy with her good advice? It happens. Solve problems without the participation of third parties. If you want to find good way out out of the situation, contact the person who annoys you directly and try to diplomatically influence his behavior. Also note that some things can simply be overlooked. Perhaps all this is not as important as you first thought. By developing a reputation as a tolerant and peace-loving person, you greatly increase your chances of being liked by everyone.

Win the sympathy of your colleagues

What does it take to be loved at work? This is not an idle question, because here we spend most of our lives. It is important that there is a pleasant atmosphere there. If you have positive people around you, your work will be easier and more enjoyable. You will be able to avoid a lot of stress, and no one will “dig” under you.

Show interest and kindness

If you want to build good relationships with people and achieve their love and sympathy, you need to get closer to them. Listen carefully to what your colleagues tell you, remember the things that are important to them: the names of their children, their school achievements, their vacation plans. Women willingly share their experiences at work, sometimes even confide in problems. When someone is telling you a story, don't interrupt to add your two cents. Listen to the end, ask some questions. Your interlocutor will be grateful to you for devoting your time to him and giving him attention.

Live in peace with everyone

Where many people work, small communities often arise that wage a silent war among themselves. If this happens in your office, try to remain impartial and do not take part in conversations in which others judge others. Moreover, do not initiate such discussions yourself. Sooner or later, this may negatively affect your relationships with other people, and then it will be difficult to get loved. Try to speak well of everyone, find and voice them strengths. Do not refuse to help your colleagues if they cannot cope with something. Of course, this does not mean that you allow yourself to be exploited. If you see someone trying to do everything with your hands, react.

Try to mitigate conflicts

Another answer to the question of how to please everyone is to be an “arbiter.” The role of a mediator is not easy, but it is worth taking on if you want everyone to like and respect you as a colleague and just a person. If you see some kind of conflict brewing in your workplace, try to resolve it. If you succeed, you will receive gratitude and approval from others. Mediate between colleagues, and do not try to judge them, do not criticize them, do not try to seem smarter. Listen to the arguments of both sides, offer a solution. Say, for example: “I understand your position and position, but maybe we can still settle this dispute? It will be difficult for all of us to work in such an atmosphere.”

All of the above applies not only to the work team, but also to any other social community. After all, many people worry about how to please all their neighbors, what to do to be loved in a hobby club, in a fitness room, etc.

Take care of your friends and acquaintances

Having a circle of good friends or at least a few close friends is real happiness. You can have a pleasant time with them and count on them when life takes another turn. steep turn. You will never be alone. However, such relationships need to be protected if you want people to like you.

Protect time-tested friendships

Some friends are closer than family members. But in order for this to happen, they cannot be neglected. You need to be in constant contact with them: call them often, offer a meeting, take an interest in their life. In friendship there is no concept of “I don’t want”, and if close person needs your help, do everything to provide it. A friend is having a crisis love relationships? Despite the huge number of responsibilities, it is worth taking the time to listen to her. Is someone close to her sick? Stay with her, help her in solving small issues that she can’t get her hands on right now.

Keep your promises

This creates and strengthens trust. Focus on sincerity. For a relationship with another person to be deep and true, there should be no hypocrisy in it. When you see a friend doing something that you think is not good for her, you have the right and even the responsibility to say so. Of course, you cannot impose your opinion on her, because this is not your life. However, hiding behind a fake smile when everything is boiling inside you is the wrong way. In turn, you should also take into account the opinions of your friends: after all, these are people who wish you well. Therefore, it is worth at least considering their point of view.

Make a good impression

How to please all the people you meet along the way? When we find ourselves in a new environment, we usually worry about how well we will be received. Your chances of this will be much greater if you position yourself as a natural, smiling, calm person. If you broadcast “I accept myself as/as I am,” then others will perceive you in the same way. When talking with new acquaintances, try not to complain about anything. Anyone who begins new social contacts with a stream of complaints, grievances, or any negativity is doomed to failure, and it will be difficult for him to establish closer relationships with others, much less win universal love.

Each of us wants everyone around us to love and understand us. At the same time, we ourselves sympathize and become attached only to some, but we simply treat the rest with respect.

According to explanatory dictionary, respect is a respectful attitude towards a person, based on recognition of the merits, merits and personal qualities of a person. In theory, everyone has something for which they can be respected. But in real world Not everyone can win respect. How to make everyone respect you?

You only need to start with yourself. If you don't respect yourself, why should others respect you? Low self-esteem a person and his self-doubt are the most terrible enemies. Disrespect for oneself is expressed primarily in “licking up” to other people in order to prove to them one’s importance and independence. If you are insulted and you remain silent, you do not respect yourself.

Why you can and should be respected

Initially, determine in yourself what you can and should be respected for. Maybe it's your sharp and precise mind, or your unsurpassed sense of humor, or your ability to cook deliciously, or professional quality? There are many options. The main thing is that you want to find them yourself. But still, if there is something to respect you for, do not overdo it. Self-confidence and self-confidence are very different things.

Well, you have found something to respect yourself for. Now learn to respect others. No one will respect you if they know that you don't respect them. Very often this problem occurs in people with leadership position- bosses, teachers, directors - to their subordinates, students. You can make someone fear you, but you can’t make someone respect you. If you shout and intimidate, you will alienate people. But calmness and confidence are the opposite.

You definitely need to give compliments to the people around you, please and praise them, noting their achievements. It often happens that it is more difficult to rejoice at the achievements of others than to empathize with their troubles. It will definitely be appreciated. You can also gain respect by being open and friendly. You should always be friendly.

You cannot allow other people to manipulate and disrespect you. If they laugh at you or are rude to you, defend yourself, fight back the insolent person. But you shouldn’t fall to his level, i.e. don’t respond to rudeness with rudeness, to a scream with a scream, etc. the main thing is self-confidence and inner peace. You need to politely, as if distinguishing yourself from the offender, tell him what doesn’t suit you. And when in response he wants to be rude to you, it will look funny and even pathetic. Therefore, all eyewitnesses of this conflict will respect you.

Respect must be earned through deeds. For example, no one will respect you right away at your new workplace. Everything will come with time - with experience and professionalism. You have to work long hours, work hard. But it is worth understanding what your professional limit is today. Therefore, do not aim at unrealistic goals in your work. Study, read, but you should not demonstrate your knowledge against the background of your colleagues’ ignorance.

Some people want to gain respect while still wanting to please everyone. But it's impossible to be nice to everyone. Sooner or later, people will understand that you are wearing a mask of duplicity, and you yourself understand how this will turn out. Express your opinion openly, but be polite when doing so. There is no need to furiously and passionately scream and swear, trying to prove your thoughts. If someone has a different point of view than you, this does not mean that it is wrong.

It's not difficult to make people respect you. You just need to try a little. But here hold and increase respect is more difficult. And losing it is very easy and quick. Therefore, think first, and then act, calculating everything possible consequences your actions.

We all dream of owning our own business, but not everyone is so lucky. And if you are not one of these lucky ones, then you probably have a boss who does not suit you in some way. This is the law of the genre. If you are at least a little lucky and your boss is not a fiend, then there are many ways to win his favor. And here are some of them.

Be a nice person

Make yourself indispensable

This phrase, which you've heard more than once, is absolutely true: if you are the person without whom work is worthwhile, then you are much closer to raises, bonuses and other cool things than others. Think and tell me, are you an essential worker? If not, then it's time to move in this direction. Work on the most important projects, learn what makes you stand out from the rest. Additional training never hurt anyone.

Management's priorities are your priorities

Make everything important to you that is important to your boss. Talk to him about work, get his opinion and let him feel that your work interests coincide. They don't have to be the same, but be sure you know your boss's priorities and how to get them done.

Keep him posted

Needless to say, your boss won’t like it if you don’t show up to him at least occasionally and keep him updated on all the events. It might even be worth sending him regular progress reports. This is not only to stroke his ego, but also to show how productive you are.

Solve the problem before your boss does it

No one is perfect, and your boss probably understands this. But if you can solve the problem without bothering your boss, you'll look much better in his eyes. The surest way to achieve this is to keep a work journal, which will contain notes about everything you work on, and then evaluate yourself from your superiors. With a little luck, you will see the problem and be able to solve it before it bothers those above you.

Be prepared to apologize for your mistakes

Everyone makes mistakes, and you are no exception. If this does happen, be prepared to apologize. .

"I was wrong. It's my fault. I'll fix it. I made a mistake". These are all examples of bad apologies.

In these cases, you make yourself the center. A much more correct option would be to shift the focus to the interlocutor, more precisely to the one who suffered because of your mistake. Ask yourself: “Who am I talking to and what does this person want to hear from me?” Having answered it, you will understand how to structure your apology.

Earn Respect

For some reason, many people believe that being a punching bag is The best way please management. I hope you understand that this is not the case. In some cases this may work (if your boss had Hard childhood), but the best way to gain the love of your superiors is to earn real respect. This means working hard, avoiding office gossip and talking about nothing, and also accepting adequate criticism. Being a nice person (the first point) is also correct, but these are two fundamentally different approaches. If you don't give offense and respect yourself, then your bosses will do the same.

Master the art of looking busy

Sometimes staying ahead requires a little cunning. And in our case, that means becoming a master at the art of looking busy even when you're not. We're not talking about shirking work or lying. But you need to let your boss know that you are a busy person and are constantly working on something.

Give useful feedback

Again, if your boss is not a fiend, then he will only be happy with an honest one. But when you are asked about it, don't try to pour out all your complaints. Find out exactly what your boss needs. Don't adapt to him and don't say what he wants to hear. If he wants to know how you are doing new project, don't try to talk about how his team spends too much time at lunch. You're not a sneak, are you?

Do the job 100%. Even if you hate your boss

Sometimes it doesn't matter how you do your job. A bad boss won't get any better. If you are in this situation, I really feel sorry for you. In this case best advice will build up armor and not pay too much attention to hysterics, unjustified criticism and attacks from superiors.

And the most important thing! Don't let me pry into your personal life. Don't take your work home and don't take it out on people around you. Instead, think about how you can improve your situation. Or maybe, well, her?