The hardest thing is to force a person. Revealing FBI secrets: how to persuade a teacher to take your side? Psychology of human persuasion - impact on consciousness

Irina Davydova

Reading time: 7 minutes

A A

Not the one who has great knowledge is stronger, but the one who is able to convince - a well-known axiom. Knowing how to choose words, you own the world. The art of persuasion - a whole science, but all its secrets have long been revealed by psychologists in ways that are easy to understand, simple rules who are any successful business man knows by heart. How to convince people - expert advice...

Control over the situation is impossible without a sober assessment of the situation. Assess the situation itself, people’s reactions, and the possibility of strangers influencing the opinion of your interlocutor. Remember that the result of the dialogue should be beneficial for both parties.
Mentally put yourself in the place of your interlocutor. Without trying to “get into the skin” of your opponent and without empathizing with him, it is impossible to influence a person. By feeling and understanding your opponent (with his desires, motives and dreams), you will find more opportunities for persuasion.

The first and natural reaction of almost any person to outside pressure is resistance.. The stronger the “pressure” of the belief, the stronger the person resists. You can eliminate your opponent’s “barrier” by winning him over. For example, joke about yourself, about the imperfection of your product, thereby “lulling” a person’s vigilance - there is no point in looking for shortcomings if they are listed to you. Another technique is a sharp change in tone. From official to simple, friendly, universal.
Use “constructive” phrases and words in communication – no denial or negativity. Wrong option: “if you buy our shampoo, your hair will stop falling out” or “if you don’t buy our shampoo, you won’t be able to appreciate its fantastic effectiveness.” Correct option: “Restore strength and health to your hair. New shampoo with a fantastic effect!” Instead of the dubious word “if,” use the convincing word “when.” Not “if we do...”, but “when we do...”.

Do not impose your opinion on your opponent - give him the opportunity to think independently, but “highlight” the right path.
Incorrect option: “Without cooperation with us, you will lose a lot of benefits.” Correct option: “Cooperation with us is a mutually beneficial alliance.” Incorrect option: “Buy our shampoo and see how effective it is!” Correct option: “The effectiveness of shampoo has been proven by thousands of positive reviews, multiple studies, the Ministry of Health, the Russian Academy of Medical Sciences, etc.” Look for arguments to convince your opponent in advance, having thought through all possible branches of the dialogue
. Put forward your arguments in a calm and confident tone without any emotional overtones, slowly and thoroughly. When convincing your opponent of something, you must be confident in your point of view.

Any doubts you have about the “truth” you put forward are instantly “grabbed” by the person, and trust in you is lost. Learn sign language.
This will help you avoid mistakes and better understand your opponent. Never give in to provocations.
To convince your opponent, you must be a “robot” who cannot be enraged. “Balance, honesty and reliability” are the three pillars of trust even in a stranger. Always use facts - best weapon beliefs. Not “my grandmother told me” and “I read it on the Internet”, but “there are official statistics...”, “on personal experience

I know that…” etc. The most effective facts are witnesses, dates and numbers, videos and photographs, opinions of famous people. Learn the art of persuasion from your children.

The child knows that by offering his parents a choice, he, at a minimum, will not lose anything and will even gain: not “Mom, buy me!”, but “Mom, buy me a radio-controlled robot or at least a construction set.” By offering a choice (and having prepared the conditions for the choice in advance so that the person makes it correctly), you allow your opponent to think that he is the master of the situation. Proven fact: a person rarely says “no” if he is offered a choice (even if it is the illusion of choice). Convince your opponent of his exclusivity.
Not with vulgar open flattery, but with the appearance of a “recognized fact.” For example, “We know your company as a responsible company with a positive reputation and one of the leaders in this field of production.” Or “We have heard a lot about you as a man of duty and honor.” Or “We would like to work only with you, you are known as a person whose words never diverge from action.” Focus on “secondary benefits.” For example, “Cooperation with us is not only low prices great prospects" Or “Our new kettle is not just a super-technological innovation, but your delicious tea and a pleasant evening with the family.” Or “Our wedding will be so magnificent that even kings will envy.” We focus, first of all, on the needs and characteristics of the audience or opponent. Based on them, we put emphasis.

Avoid disrespect and arrogance towards your interlocutor. He should feel on the same level as you, even if in ordinary life you drive around such people for a kilometer in your expensive car.
Always start a conversation with points that can unite you and your opponent, not divide you. The interlocutor, immediately tuned to the right “wave,” ceases to be an opponent and turns into an ally. And even if disagreements arise, it will be difficult for him to answer you “no”.
Follow the principle of demonstrating shared benefit. Every mother knows that the ideal way to talk her child into going to the store with her is to tell her that they sell candy at the checkout. with toys, or “suddenly remember” what was promised for his favorite cars this month big discounts. The same method, only more complex, underlies business negotiations and contracts between ordinary people. Mutual benefit is the key to success.

Make the person feel good about you. Not only in personal relationships, but also in a business environment, people are guided by likes/dislikes. If the interlocutor is unpleasant to you, or even completely disgusting (outwardly, in communication, etc.), then you will not have any business with him. Therefore, one of the principles of persuasion is personal charm. Some people are given it from birth, while others have to learn this art. Learn to emphasize your strengths and disguise your weaknesses.

IN idea about the art of persuasion 1:

Video about the art of persuasion 2:

The modern world is the art of communication. A large part of your life depends on how you communicate with others and get your way from them. This applies to your personal life, friends and career. Your opponents will be different, but the ability to win and convince your interlocutor in disputes will definitely come in handy.

How to convince people with words and achieve what you want?

Get closer to the person. Show how much you have in common with your interlocutor. These could be similar interests, opinions, hobbies, hobbies. Give a compliment or gently flatter. It is much easier to convince a person who feels like you in spirit and feels sympathy.

Make a person owe it. Treat someone to coffee today, give them a small gift, or do them a favor. Tomorrow you can ask for a return favor. The person will feel morally indebted to you.

Speak quickly and confidently. Use eloquence to persuade your interlocutor. Don't be shy about the flow of words. Speed of speech indicates confidence in the speaker’s words. Use arguments, facts, exaggerations, metaphors.

Use weak spots. Every person has not only armor, but also weaknesses. Press on nobility, pity, sense of duty, fame, fame, conceit, selfishness, generosity, kindness and other instincts. You can convince a person by finding the right key.

Ask for more. Ask a person to borrow $100. He will most likely refuse, but will feel guilty. After that, ask him for 10 dollars. He will fulfill this request. Always ask for more to get less.

Choose the right time. Timing is everything. If a person is not in a good mood, is busy or does not want to talk, then it is better not to even start. Start talking when the person is in the mood, happy or on the rise. This way you will achieve what you want more quickly.

It is not necessary to argue with your interlocutor. Do you want to convince a person, but he says the opposite? Agree, after this the opponent will no longer be so belligerent. Don’t argue directly, but vaguely agree, and then continue to insist and stick to your line.

Be assertive when persuading. Sometimes we listen not to more experienced people, but to more assertive ones. Active and persuasive people inspire trust. Be persistent and don't give up.

Give something in return. When you want to convince a person or ask, you need to give something in return. What does a person want to receive and what value can you offer? Motivate your interlocutor. This way you will be more likely to convince your opponent.

Make him agree. Make the person say the word “yes” several times. After this, people are more positive and ready to agree with many things.

Don't get into a quarrel or conflict. How to achieve what you want? Remain calm even if the atmosphere begins to boil. The one who gives in to emotions loses.

Control your body language. You should watch not only your tongue, but also your body. Often people don’t listen to us so much as they look at the behavior of the interlocutor and draw conclusions. Be open when talking. Do not cross your arms and legs, do not stiffen or slouch. Maintain eye contact and smile.

When you learn to convince people with words, life will become radically better.

To achieve success, improve relationships with colleagues, and arrange your personal life, it is important to know how to persuade people. Changing a person's position can be difficult, but there are various means of persuasion for this.

How to persuade a person: methods of verbal influence

Belief is a form psychological impact per person, in which main role verbal or speech means play a role: logic, clear argumentation, inferences, etc. There are several effective psychological techniques that increase the persuasiveness of speech, and often help influence the subconscious of the interlocutor.

Knowing how to persuade people will help you achieve your goal faster.

Logics. A person’s acceptance of your arguments directly depends on the logic of your speech. It manifests itself in a clear connection between judgments, when one thought naturally follows from another and ultimately leads the interlocutor to the conclusion you need.
Stimulation. When persuading, choose arguments that affect your partner’s personal interests and “promise” him benefits or threaten him with problems.
Reframing. This is a psychological technique of “inverting” the meaning of a statement. Words are the shell of a thought, but the same thought expressed in different words, can change the meaning to the exact opposite. Thus, the words “scout” and “spy” have the same meaning, but completely different meanings.
Emotional coloring of speech. The degree of your persuasiveness largely depends on the personal interest and emotionality of the speech.

All these methods will only work if your speech is clear, expressive, and distinguished by high culture and good lexicon. The indistinct, confused muttering of a man having difficulty finding the right words, will never be convincing.

How to persuade a person to do something: nonverbal means

It has long been noted that in personal contact it is easier to convince a person of something than over the phone. It's even harder to do this in a written message. The fact is that non-verbal (non-speech) means of communication play a huge role in the transmission of information. With their help, 60-80% of information is transmitted, and they are the ones who are able to influence a person’s subconscious, regardless of his desire.

There are many techniques for psychologically “tuning” an interlocutor. Here are some of them.

Mirror. Unobtrusively repeating your partner's movements makes him trust you.
Light touches. Psychologists believe that a person, in a conversation with someone he trusts, unconsciously tries to touch him from time to time. By touching your interlocutor, you thereby demonstrate your trust in him and set him up for a positive perception of you.
Smile. This universal means of communication has a positive effect on people and encourages them to trust their interlocutor.
Expressive intonation. Convincing and positively colored intonation creates a special optimistic atmosphere. You want to believe a person who speaks energetically and even cheerfully.

Persuasiveness should not be confused with obsession. Trying to convince your interlocutor for too long causes irritation and rejection. Therefore, if you were unable to persuade a person, then it is better not to insist and postpone the conversation until another convenient time.

Many of us are good at persuading other people. We possess persuasion skills sometimes even unconsciously, since we need them every day. We don’t think twice when, intuitively knowing what to offer in return, we persuade, for example, our husband to buy himself a new dress.

Be intelligent. Before you start asking for something and persuading, politely ask if the interlocutor has time to listen to your appeal. You will show him that you respect him and consider him a busy business person.
Speak beautifully. Your conversation can bewitch anyone if your statements are beautiful, unusual and interesting. Our psychology works in such a way that it is more difficult for an eloquent and even a little impudent speaker to refuse his request. Add more words like “Please”, “Sorry to bother you”, “Thank you” to your vocabulary. If you have already achieved your goal, do not forget to express gratitude, otherwise next time you will be refused assistance.
Smile more often. Show your charisma, smile, maintain a cheerful mood among others and yourself. When people are in a good mood, you can get anything out of them because they will listen to you with pleasure and, without thinking about the true meaning of your words, will accept your point of view.
Do a favor. Before you persuade people, do something for them. They will feel like they owe you and simply cannot refuse the request. Make it a rule to do good deeds, because good always comes back.
Infect with an idea. Convince your interlocutor that your idea is unique, interesting and fully consistent with his personal interests. This way you will attract the immediate attention of your opponent.
Surprise. You cannot be completely obvious and predictable in your persuasion. Try to make sure that people don’t even realize that you are leading them to fulfill their desires.
Don't expect a positive answer. Be prepared to be rejected. For some reason, when we internally expect to hear a refusal, we are answered “yes.”
Don't be afraid to tell the truth. Nowadays, sincerity surprises and amazes. If you understand that you cannot persuade a person, admit to him that you want to satisfy exclusively your interests. Most likely, he will simply be taken aback by such a surprise and do what you ask.
Know how to stop. If you see that you are tired of your interlocutor and he will become bored, stop persuading, otherwise your importunity will lead to nothing.

Successful company

Any success commercial organization based on financial stability, the existence of which is impossible without customer demand for products. How to persuade a person to buy a product?

Bright sides. Just talk about positive qualities goods, keeping silent about the negative ones.
Only yes. Never use the particle "not". For example: “Would you like sauce for your potatoes?”, or “You probably aren’t planning on buying a TV today?” The buyer listens to you and answers, of course not. You yourself suggested this answer to him.
No negativity. Do not remember bad moments in front of the buyer, so as not to ruin his mood. Do not talk about a defective case, even if it was an isolated incident, or that the supplier is unscrupulous.
Saving money. Talk more about the fact that by purchasing a product, the client saves a lot of time and money. It is better to remain silent about its costs.
Don't be intrusive. Nobody likes annoying salespeople who try to sell their goods quickly. Be a little more reserved and clients will come to you!

It is much more difficult to refuse an eloquent and slightly impudent person. Use polite words: “Please,” “Thank you.” Always express your gratitude after you have achieved your goal.

Smile. Be cheerful, smiling and charismatic. Good mood will help you achieve more than you think. People will enjoy you, thinking little about what you say, while accepting your point of view quite naturally.

Do something before you start persuading him. Sometimes it is very difficult to refuse someone who has already done something for you. Moreover, turn kindness into your good habit. It always comes back.

Show your interlocutor all the benefits of your idea. If possible, tell us how its implementation will correspond to his interests. This allows you to gain close attention from your opponent.

Try not to be obvious in your persuasion. Smoothly guide your interlocutor towards your goal. You will be more persuasive if your audience doesn't know you're trying to convince them.

Persuade, but be prepared to refuse. Oddly enough, if you are internally ready to hear “no,” then most often you will be answered “yes.” If relationships are difficult for you, just imagine what could happen if you? It is enough to accept the refusal graciously, because when you ask again, the answer will most likely be positive.

Be honest. Honesty is a very disarming quality. If you openly admit that you, for example, ask and persuade solely for your own benefit, people are able to react to this. Sincerity is so unusual and rare that the person being persuaded unexpectedly agrees and helps.

The most important thing is to stop in time. Your opponent may find your blandishments annoying and you boring. If you are considered annoying, it will be almost impossible to achieve your goal.

note

Lies and exaggerations will never be in a good way persuasion, although sometimes this is quite effective. Remember, the person you're talking to is not stupid, but if you think you can cheat without him knowing about it, you deserve everything you get.
Don't give up abruptly and without a fight. This makes your opponent think that you are weak, and next time it will be much more difficult to convince him of anything.
Do not be hysterical and conflictual in your persuasion. Even the most whiny children do not achieve their goal using this method. If you are even a little irritated or upset, take a break, drink a cup of tea, think about your arguments. Or even return to your persuasion the next day.

Sources:

persuade a person to do

For successful persuasion To know that someone is right, you first need to sincerely believe in it yourself. This is the initial rule of any persuasion technique, because if you yourself do not believe in what you are going to prove to others, your words are unlikely to sound convincing.

Instructions

Eye contact with the object of belief is also required. If your interlocutor averts his eyes, you need to do the same, in the same direction (just catch his gaze again and try to hold it).

Talk to your . For example, if your opponent is about to take a breath, you need to start speaking using reasons and facts. This will force your opponent to at least listen to you (a cultured one will not interrupt), and then everything depends on you.

Your posture also plays an important role in the process of persuasion, stay straight, look into the eyes - be open to. You should not shift from foot to foot, slouch, look at the floor - all this speaks of your uncertainty and inability to convince.

Convincing others requires knowledge and understanding of their position on the topic. Be able to comment on possible objections and questions during the conversation, supporting them with arguments and facts.

Under no circumstances should you lose self-control if your opponent actively challenges you verbally or with gestures. Stay strong and continue to express your opinion confidently. Remember, if you show your anger and respond to your opponent using his own methods, consider that you have lost.

Video on the topic

Helpful advice

To successfully prove something to someone, during a conversation you need to repeat your arguments and arguments several times.

Persuasive speech, accompanied by expressive nonverbal components, is an entire art, mastery of which is useful not only for psychologists, but also for everyone who strives to achieve success in communication. However, without even spending large quantity time to study the encoding and decoding systems adopted in a particular society, you can use simple techniques to make a person believe you.

Instructions

Focus on eye contact. People are aware that averting their eyes is evidence of lying. But this leads to the fact that staring too closely at your interlocutor makes him feel insecure and suspect you of insincerity. Don't confuse him by drilling too much. It is enough to maintain contact, from time to time leaving your counterpart without constant visual supervision.

Be calm and confident. The interlocutor should not get the feeling that you are trying to put pressure on him. The truth should not need an abundance of evidence and arguments. The more persistent and persistent you are, the more you try to influence your interlocutor, the faster more and more new, sometimes even absurd arguments replace each other, the more likely you are to be suspected, if not of deception, then at least of being yourself. not very sure of the veracity of the message being conveyed.

Be natural. You should not give the impression of a person who has any other goals than just communication. Even if you knowingly inform false information, try to forget about it. Maintain your usual manner of communication, especially if you are talking to someone close to you. Don't fill your speech and movements with symbols that are considered "persuasive"; they can attract attention and make people think that you have a reason for using them.

Avoid intruding into your speech words that would emphasize that you are telling the truth. This again can act, at least on a subconscious level, so that the person begins to suspect you of. If you don't give him any reason to think about this possibility, he won't doubt the truth of your words, and you won't have to make any effort to make him believe it.

If you notice that people around you often do not take you seriously, perhaps even mocking you, then you need to take drastic measures, first of all, in relation to yourself. How to attract attention and make people take your opinion into account, you will learn from this article.

Instructions

Love yourself.

Usually those around you “mirror” what is inside you: they notice the uncertain intonation of your voice, your gaze, your gait. In this regard, urgently begin to form a positive attitude towards yourself. Don't forget to pay attention to your appearance: a well-groomed appearance demonstrates that you love yourself, which means that others will treat you with respect. Be sure to celebrate even your most insignificant achievement and reward yourself for your success. This will give you strength and weight in society.

Pay attention to yourself.

If you are talking, and the people around you pretend not to hear you, then you should ask yourself the question: “What am I doing wrong?” Start doing the opposite. If you are speaking while sitting, stand up; if your voice is barely audible, speak louder. Start your speech with “I”. For example: “I want to say...”, “I ask for your attention...”.

Speak about yourself with admiration.

Affirmations are very helpful - short statements you create like: “I am damn attractive,” “I am persistent and can achieve a lot,” etc. For greater effect, the affirmations must be repeated as often as possible for two to three weeks.

Respond appropriately to ridicule.
The purpose of a ridicule or offensive remark is to cause confusion, anger, or fear in you. Therefore, if you learn to ignore them, the goal will not be achieved, and the scoffers will stop bothering you. You can try to parry the remark, and the offender will be knocked out.

IN modern world many people need to be able to lie. Not necessarily for any dubious or illegal purposes. They often lie for the good or salvation in order to reassure an overly suspicious person, not to give reasons for jealousy to loved ones, to come to an agreement with their superiors or business partners.

Always think through your lies in advance. Try to provide answers to all possible questions and work out the details of your story. Think about what facts can serve as evidence of the truth of your statements. A lie invented in advance always looks more plausible and there will be less chance of failure. Just in case of failure, you can come up with a backup option that is closer to the truth.

Try to sincerely believe in what you came up with. So that no one would think that they are being deceived. Imagine yourself as an actor who must perfectly play his role, get used to it, become one with it.

Remember that under existing legislation, perjury, slander and slander entail measures up to and including criminal liability.

If possible, study in advance who you will be deceiving. Try to understand the psychology of the “victim”, find an individual approach to it. People you don’t know well tend to conduct conversations with distrust and wariness. It is more difficult to deceive them than friends and relatives. In this case, start telling lies in small portions, carefully watching the interlocutor. It is important not to overdo it: alternate false and true facts.

Don't let yourself be caught

If the interlocutor begins to guess about the deception, distract him with something. Start asking him about unimportant details, change the conversation to an abstract topic, tell interesting story or an anecdote. Counterattack if your opponent has already begun to directly accuse you of lying. Take the situation into your own hands, prove it, present pre-thought-out arguments.

The easiest way to lie is over the phone or in person. It is more difficult over the Internet or in correspondence, since in these cases the addressee can always save letters or messages.

Always remember what you lie in detail. It's hard but necessary condition for every successful liar. Be consistent by deceiving many people or committing a series of deceptions. You can even write down all the facts of deception. And when you come up with your next lie, don’t forget that deceived people can exchange information with each other. To prevent them from uncovering the deception, the information they have must be consistent and not contain conflicting details.

Gestures and facial expressions

Watch your gestures and facial expressions. Reassure yourself that you should not feel guilty or afraid when deceiving others. Look at your interlocutor with courage and openness as you would normally look at others when speaking the truth. Practice the correct look in advance. Do not cross your arms or legs, do not make unnecessary or meaningless movements that could reveal a lie or excessive anxiety.

Lie in a firm, confident and loud voice. Train him ahead of time too. Don’t stutter, don’t correct yourself, don’t get confused - speak as it’s written, without jabbering. If you smile at your interlocutor during a conversation, try to make the smile look correct, that is, it is natural and sincere.