“Greater love has no one than this, except that a man lay down his life for his friends.”

Gospel of John (13.15.)

1.On the verge of centuries.

The topic being raised, artificially plunged into oblivion, should again turn our hearts to conscience and to a sober understanding of events and people. Those distant years of the exodus of Russians from Russia due to the civil and Second World Wars. The greatness of sacrifice and service to God and people is unforgettable, even if officials different levels states and churches do not want to hear the names of such people... And such was the Eminence

Hermogenes, Archbishop of Ekaterinoslav and Novomoskovsk, Archpastor of the Don Army.

And in the world Grigory Ivanovich Maksimov, born on January 10. 1861 in a Cossack family in the village of Esaulovskaya region of the Don Army. Having graduated from the seminary and the Kyiv Theological Academy in 1886, he received the rank of presbyter (priest) and, being with an academic degree of candidate of Theology, having completed the practice of a psalm-reader in the Petro-Paul Church of the village of Starocherkassk (at his own request), he soon received a priestly place at the Trinity Church of the city of Novocherkassk, where Father Gregory's ministry was very short (about six months), when he was transferred to the vacancy of a priest at the Don Cathedral of the Ascension Cathedral, where he served for 7 years.

In 1894, despite his young years, but as an already experienced teacher, he was appointed to the post of caretaker of the Ust-Medveditsky Theological School, where Fr. Gregory worked as a chief for over 8 years, improving his native school. And in the village of Ust-Medveditskaya, as well as in the city of Novocherkassk, Father Gregory did not refuse to fulfill other positions assigned to him at different times, both educational and social in nature.

In 1902 Fr. Gregory leaves the Don diocese and, at the invitation of Bishop Vladimir (Senkovsky) of Vladikavkaz, moves to the Caucasus and is appointed rector of the Vladikavkaz Cathedral. The service activities of Archpriest Grigory Maximov for the residents of Vladikavkaz are memorable for his selfless feat in the alarming year of 1905, when he went to the barracks of the rebellious T-regiment and with pastoral exhortations, deceived by the agitators, the soldiers were reassured, the plans of the seditionists were dispelled and the regiment was returned to its service To the Tsar and the Fatherland. However, this circumstance had fatal consequences for his family life. The wife of Fr. Gregory died of a heart attack, leaving him with six children from 1 to 16 years old. With God's help, the priest raised his children to be good Christians and useful figures in government and public service.

Zeal in serving Fr. Grigory Maksimov in the priesthood in positions in the diocesan and spiritual-educational departments was awarded a number of awards - the Order of St. Anna, 3rd degree in 1902, and three years later, 2nd degree. In 1908 - the Order of St. Vladimir, 4th degree, and three years later, 3rd degree.

In 1909, being the Rector of the Saratov Seminary, Archpriest Grigory Ivanovich Maksimov took monastic vows from the shrine of St. Seraphim with the name Hermogenes. This name was adopted by him in honor of his closest leader in monastic life His Grace Hermogenes, Bishop of Saratov, later Archbishop of Tobolsk in 1918, martyred by the Bolsheviks in the Irtysh River.

2.Into the battle with the archpastoral prayer and the exodus from Russia.

On May 9, 1910, the consecration (ordination) of Archimandrite Hermogenes took place in the Alexander Nevsky Lavra of St. Petersburg as vicar of the Don diocese. He was elected to this see by the Holy Synod and Father Hermogenes knew the difficulties of serving as a bishop, and even in the position of vicar in his native him the diocese and accepted this appointment, seeing in him the finger of God.

On May 18 of the same year, His Grace Hermogenes (Maximo V) arrived in Novocherkassk, where he testified for the glory of God and the salvation of people. In his place of service, he was loved and respected by both the clergy and the flock. Confirmation of this was the solemn celebration of the 25th anniversary of the priesthood celebrated in Novocherkassk, in which the entire Don diocese took part and he enjoyed love in all layers of his flock, and not only among his family and his beloved Cossacks, but also among all the inhabitants of the Don region. A monument to this love is a golden pectoral cross, a folding icon of Christ the Savior with the holy martyr Hermogenes the Patriarch of Moscow (who is also a Don Cossack by birth) and a metal archpastoral staff.

The First World War began and Bishop Hermogenes from the church pulpit inspired Russian soldiers going to the theater of war, and in 1916 he himself visited the front, where with his prayers, preaching and blessing he so raised the morale of the Donetsk people that they were ready to immediately go into battle.

The ill-fated year 1917 arrived. The pain and misfortune of the fratricidal war did not immediately come to the Cossack lands of the Quiet Don, which were cared for by Bishop Hermogenes. As soon as news of the atrocities of the Bolsheviks, who had already seized power in St. Petersburg and Moscow, reached Novocherkassk, the Right Reverend stepped forward fully armed with his pastoral ministry - he organized religious processions, organized religious, moral and patriotic readings, in sermons he denounced the enemies of the Christian Faith and Orthodox Church. Which made the city rabble very angry. But the forces were not equal, and in February 1918, after tragic death Ataman Kaledin A.M. , the Red Guards occupied the capital of the Don Army. Bishop Hermogenes was arrested, as were military foreman Voloshinov and Ataman Nazarov (execution of Yana), imprisoned and defamed in court as an enemy of the people. Several times he was threatened with reprisals from drunken sailors and Red Guards. But unexpectedly, the Bolshevik authorities granted the ruler an “amnesty”, with the condition that he appear at the Cheka at the first request. In fact, this was a deception, because at night the Most Reverend Hermogenes would have been killed, but was saved by his children.

Having plundered the house, the commissars left. Afterwards I had to hide on the outskirts of the city.

Anyone who harbored the ruler was threatened with execution.

Finally, the Cossacks understood the deception of the Bolsheviks and, rebelling against the satanic power on the day of Easter Sunday (April 22, 1918), a day later they liberated Novocherkassk.

What joy and delight there were when the archpastor met with his people, who considered him killed. The elected military ataman Krasnov P.N., knowing the strength of the service of the Church of Bishop Hermogenes and the love of the Don Cossacks for him, invited him to the post of Bishop of the Don Army and Navy. From that time on, the bishop zealously began to fulfill his new duties: he held military prayers and called on front, where with his fiery words he inspired and supported his native Donets, blessing them for battle. Many sent out their proclamations, calling on everyone to keep the covenants home country and stand firmly for the Faith and Fatherland. The victorious Don Army was built on mutual trust, and this is what the enemies of Orthodoxy and the Cossacks tried to undermine. P.N. Krasnov resigned as military chieftain, and A.P. Bogaevsky, who was subsequently elected chieftain, was unable to restore the position. The sad exodus of the Don people from their native land began. Bishop Hermogenes decided to stay in Novocherkassk, but he was persuaded to leave the city at least for a while. Therefore, Bishop Hermogenes’s episcopal service on the Don continued until 1919, when he was appointed to the see of Bishop of Ekaterinoslav and Novomoskovsk, and in December of this year, together with his son, a high school student and a cell deacon, he set off on an ordinary cart from the Don region to Kuban under the protection of the first hundred of the Don Cadet Corps, experiencing hunger and cold, like many thousands of refugees. But a great misfortune lay hidden in the tormented souls of people who no longer believed in anything; there were also those who profited from human misfortune despite the advancing Bolshevik horror.

Arriving in Novorossiysk, where the Higher Church Administration was already located in the south of Russia, Bishop Hermogenes was given a place on the hospital ship "Vladimir" among typhoid patients as the ship's priest. On March 14, 1920, “Vladimir” went to the Crimea, but having received a new order, he headed to Constantinople, and from there to Thessaloniki, where the wounded and some of the sick were removed, and the rest (up to 2 thousand) were sent to the gloomy island of Lemnos , where Bishop Hermogenes settled in a military tent.

3.Glory to God for everything - for sorrow and for joy

The island of Lemnos became the land where the ruler spent his first six months after the loss of his beloved Russia. On his initiative, a tent church was consecrated in memory of the Ascension of the Lord, and then a school was created for refugee children. The news that there was an Orthodox Russian bishop among the Russian refugees on the island soon spread throughout Lemnos. There were meetings and joint concelebrations of Liturgies with the Greek Orthodox clergy. The procession to Metropolitan Stephen of Lemno with a large church choir, whose regent was Sergei Zharov, was unusually festive. This served as a great spiritual consolation for Bishop Hermogenes in the bleak life of exile. But nearby was Mount Athos, to which the Greek authorities did not allow the Russians. The Lord granted the bishop and the monks a boat across the sea to reach Mount Athos, and from August 1920 to May 1922, the Right Reverend Hermogenes lived in Athonite monasteries and hermitages without a break.

The bishop’s farewell to the brethren of the monastery of Thebaid and the Panteleimon Monastery was touching, and after leaving for Serbia at the beginning of May he arrived in Belgrade, where he was received by Patriarch Demetrius of Serbia purely by family in his chambers.

The Higher Church Administration abroad sends Bishop Hermogenes to Athens, where he was engaged in the improvement of his diocese before the coup d'etat in Greece.

The monarchy gave way to a republic, the ruler was forced to return to Serbia and govern his diocese from there.

In 1922, the Russian Higher Church Administration was reorganized. A council of Russian hierarchs who found themselves outside of Russia established the Holy Synod with all the rights of the All-Russian Orthodox Church of Uzbekistan, and at this council the Right Reverend Hermogenes was elected a member of the Holy Synod.

In 1929, he received an appointment to the then newly opened diocese of Western America with elevation to the rank of archbishop, but he could not fulfill this appointment due to circumstances beyond his control and was forced to remain in Serbia. The Order of St. Sava, II degree, of the Kingdom of Yugoslavia was added to the Bishop’s Russian awards.

With the blessing of the blessed Metropolitan Anthony (Khrapovits) and with permission His Holiness Patriarch Barnabas, a Committee was formed to honor the archpastor of the Don Army on the 50th anniversary of the Right Reverend Hermogenes. The honorary chairman of the Committee is Metropolitan Anthony (Khrapovitsky) of Kiev and Galicia, and the honorary member (future first hierarch of the ROCOR) Anastasius.

In 1936, the celebration of the half-century of priestly service of Bishop Hermogenes took place in Belgrade. A congratulatory speech on behalf of the Serbs was made by Prof. L. Raich - from those who were students of Russian spiritual educational institutions. N.N. Krasnov announced greetings from Ataman of the Great Don Army, followed by the regiment. N. Nomikosov announced greetings from the atamans and Cossacks - Kuban, Terek, Ural, Orenburg, Astrakhan, Siberian, Yenisei, Amur, Ussuri and from General Baksheev - Chairman of the Far Eastern Union. After this, the Cossacks came out - three boys in Circassian jackets and a girl in a cap. The children bowed to the hierarchs and the girl with love in her voice read a poem dedicated to Lord Hermogenes. This delegation greatly touched both the hero of the day and all the hierarchs led by Patriarch Varnava.

Response speeches, memories of the now distant Don, songs, gifts flowed as if from a cornucopia. But even the most wonderful holidays end sooner or later, and the Bishop, with all his tireless energy, tries to help everyone in need while in the Khopov Monastery. But soon the Second World War broke out.

4.War.

As soon as Yugoslavia found itself under German occupation, Croatia declared its independence. And if in Serbia the “Titovite” red partisans committed lawlessness, then in Croatia the Ustasha committed atrocities. And Archbishop Hermogenes came to the defense of the Orthodox Serbs in Croatia. Bearing in mind that Patriarch Gabriel insisted on doing everything possible to preserve Orthodoxy in the Croatian state.

Here is one of the eyewitness accounts of Ivan Alekseevich Polyakov, general and chief of staff of the Don Army, in response to attacks that appeared in the post-war years in the foreign church press against Bishop Hermogenes: “As an ordinary layman, I am far from the idea of ​​entering into consideration of the decision of the Synod of Bishops of the Russian Orthodox Abroad, pronounced against Archbishop Hermogenes, but at the same time I consider it my moral duty to evaluate the situation and circumstances that were associated with his acceptance of the leadership of the then formed Croatian Orthodox Church.

As a living witness to the events of that time in Croatia, I affirm:

1. Throughout Croatia there was a persecution of Orthodox Christians: churches were burned, pastors were arrested, some were shot, and Russian clergymen often suffered.

The only Serbian church in Zagreb, which became, as it were, Russian, was closed.

2. Entering into the administration of the Croatian Orthodox Church, Archbishop Hermogenes set the first condition - the cessation of persecution of the Orthodox Church and other outrages. Dr. A. Pavelic, who was then the head of Croatia, accepted these conditions and gave appropriate orders.

3. The persecution subsided almost immediately, churches began to open and be put in order. We, the residents of Zagreb, also received our church back.

4. Soon, Archbishop Hermogenes becomes an intercessor for all Russians who were persecuted by the new Croatian government, both individually and in large groups, and usually without any wrongdoing on their part. Since the doors of the Poglavnik (Dr. Pavelic) were always open for Archbishop Hermogenes, he went to him, and the Croatian government, although reluctantly, still fulfilled his requests.

5. Visiting Archbishop Hermogenes several times a week and discussing with him the situation and various issues raised by the life of that time, I met with him many visitors who besieged him with various requests. Among the latter, there were often even Russian soldiers who served in the troops of Dr. Pavelich. Vladyka tried to meet everyone halfway in everything and tried to help. Consequently, by accepting the leadership of the Croatian Orthodox Church, Archbishop Hermogenes did a great Russian deed and saved many from persecution, prison, and sometimes death.

In the name of Truth and Christ’s truth, it would be unfair, I think, to pass over this issue in silence. Apparently, at that time Belgrade was little aware of what was happening in Croatia at that time.”

M. Obrknezevic recalls the bitter times that befell Orthodoxy in the Independent State of Croatia (ISH): “Because of his refusal to cooperate with the Germans, Patriarch Gabriel of Serbia was in exile until the end of the war.” And on the territory of Croatia itself, ethnic cleansing is taking place (750 thousand Orthodox Serbs were killed), the Serbian clergy was persecuted, as they were considered representatives of a hostile neighboring state.

Of course, enemies Orthodox Christianity wanted to destroy the religion of the Serbs and Russians in Croatia by any means, and therefore hoped that the creation of the Croatian Orthodox Church would lead to a union with Catholicism (which is what the ROCOR is still charged with as felony Archpastor Hermogenes and the priests who came under his care). But for some reason, it is not taken into account that the Serbian Patriarch Gabriel, from exile, conveyed his verbal consent to Bishop Hermogenes, that is, he blessed him to lead the Croatian Orthodox Church as a metropolitan, but not as a Patriarch. Before arriving in Zagreb on May 29, 1942, where preliminary negotiations were to take place on the formation of the KhOC and its charter, Bishop Hermogenes writes a letter to Metropolitan Anastasius, assuring that he will not do anything non-canonical in relation to the fraternal Serbian Orthodox Church.

It must be remembered that pro-communist tendencies among the Serbian priesthood and hierarchy were strong during the war, as was the case in Russia under the rule of the Bolsheviks. This is precisely what His Eminence Hermogenes warned about in his last Easter message:

“Beware, my spiritual children, of those who in sacred vestments turn to you instead of a cross with a bloody knife and weapon in their hands, for they do not fight for Christ, but for the wicked, seeking to deceive you and poison your souls! Beware of all those who talk about freedom under the red star, for there is no freedom there, there is only disaster and misfortune. In their temporary kingdom, they have only one freedom - blasphemy against God Almighty, His Risen Son and the Holy Spirit. In Christian love and brotherly forgiveness, beloved brothers and our spiritual children, let us congratulate each other with a joyful Easter greeting - CHRIST IS RISEN!”

On the creation of the KhOC - at the same time, the Croatian government was given a condition by Bishop Hermogenes - the immediate cessation of the destruction of the Serbian Orthodox population in Croatia, and this was fulfilled.

The Greek and Bulgarian churches, as well as the Ecumenical Patriarch in Constantinople, were notified; The Romanian Patriarch Nicodemus ordained the bishop to the rank of metropolitan. As is known, not a single Church has expressed any objections to the creation new Church, considering Bishop Hermogenes a worthy hierarch. During that damned time of mutual hatred and genocide after his ordination, Metropolitan Hermogenes managed to gather the priesthood of the destroyed Serbian Church in Croatia - 70 clergy joined the new Church, which then had 55 permanent parishes and 19 temporary communities. It is obvious that they made a choice in a tragic time.

The New Church, in the grace-filled wisdom of Bishop Hermogenes, became multinational. In addition to Serbs and Croats, its parishioners included Montenegrins, Macedonians, Bulgarians, Romanians, Gypsies, Albanians, Russians, Rusyns, Ukrainians and even Uniates who returned to Orthodoxy. Bishop Hermogenes immediately gained the love and respect of his flock.

5. You will know them by their fruits.

The tragedy of murder exhausts and hardens human souls, but at the same time it shows the spiritual choice of a Christian, because... “You will know them by their deeds”... Analyzing the documents of those years, one immediately realizes - salvation human lives, universal respect, even among non-Orthodox, and compliance with the terms of canonical principles lies at the basis of the creation of a new church.

“By the will of God, my humility was called to lead the KhOC. During the great temptations sent down on part of holy Orthodoxy, I was destined to leave the silence of monastic seclusion, take this position, which I now fulfill, take the helm of the Orthodox Church and gather its children into one flock, according to in the words of the First Lord Jesus Christ, to restore peace and piety, love and orthodoxy in Croatia, where the whirlwind of the world war shook and confused Orthodoxy, caused disorder, corruption and complete madness,” Bishop Hermogenes wrote in his letter to Patriarch Nicodemus of the Romanian Orthodox Church.

The monastery in Khopovo operated until 1943, then it was first burned down by communist and partisans, and the remaining main church blew up during the retreat of Wehrmacht units.

The relationship between Metropolitans Hermogenes and Anastasius, due to the formation of the KhOC, led to a rupture, since the first could not come to Belgrade, and the second announced disagreement with the appointment of Metropolitan Hermogenes, removes him and, in accordance with canon law, will begin legal proceedings against him. At the same time, Metropolitan Anastassy himself did not go to Zagreb to resolve relations. The pain of the Serbian and Russian in Croatia was that if not for the intercession of Bishop Hermogenes, the genocide would have repeated, and the delay in the Synodal proceedings would have been disastrous.

At the beginning of 1945, the offensive Soviet troops in the Balkans, the Croatian government forced the evacuation, and it invited Bishop Hermogenes and the clergy to go to Austria.

After discussing this issue with his clergy, who unanimously spoke out against the evacuation, he responded with these words: “There are very few of us here, but we have a bishopric and an Orthodox clergy and our conscience is calm... We are ready to give an account of all our actions for the time of our service before the Church Council of the Serbian Church, freely and legally convened and completely independent in its decisions, with the participation, if possible, of the bishops of the Russian Church Abroad.”

The Synod of the SOC chose a path extremely unworthy of Orthodoxy - it handed over Bishop Hermogenes and the clergy of the KhOC into the hands of the red partisans of I.-B. Tito’s army, i.e. into the hands of the atheists and demanded that they be tried as “war criminals” by their own court. The Tribunal of Atheists sentenced all those arrested to death and on June 29, 1945 they were shot. A month earlier, the tragedy began in Lienz. It should be noted that the SOC accepted into the jurisdiction of its Serbian clergy, ordained by Bishop Hermogenes, thereby “de facto” recognizing the canonicity of the Sacraments and Orthodox Faith established Croatian Church.

“Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends” John. 15:13.

How do our contemporaries understand this phrase?

Sergey Dudka,39 years old, auditor:

The point is that sacrifice is better than pride and selfishness. The gospel message is not so simple for human understanding. By giving, you gain, by humiliating yourself, you will rise, by crying, you will be consoled. And in this case it’s the same: if you feel sorry for yourself, you will perish, if you feel sorry for others and give up everything you have, and even your soul, you will be saved. A man couldn't come up with something like that. And this serves as another proof of the revelation of the Gospel, because. human logic is powerless against its truths.

Yulia Sukhareva, 28 years old, mother:

Any sacrifice, be it free time, money, health, sacrificed for the sake of one’s neighbor is very valuable before God. It is rare when a person has to sacrifice his life for the sake of another, and more and more often - his own comfort.

Alexander Voznesensky, 34 years old, photographer:

Some people mistakenly think that Christ set the highest ideal of Christianity - to lay down his life for his friends. But in order to correctly understand what is being said here we're talking about, you need to read this quote in context. So what's going on in context? Christ is preparing the apostles for the moment when they will have to go and preach the word of God throughout the world. At the same time, He reveals to them the foundations, without which any Christian teaching is impossible: “Whoever does not abide in Me will be cast out like a branch and wither” (John 15:6). Those. he seems to warn them that there is no need to mix anything alien into the teachings of Christ, because He is the Truth. However, teaching without love for one's neighbor is empty hot air. Christ says: “This is My commandment, that you love one another, as I have loved you” (John 15:12). Further, Christ foresees difficulties, about which he tells his disciples: “They will drive you out of the synagogues; even the time is coming when everyone who kills you will think that he is serving God by doing so” (John 16:2). One would think that Christ had pretty much intimidated them. Behold, I am sending you, they will beat you, expel you, hate you. But Christ says, “I have spoken these things to you, so that you would not be offended” (John 16:1). What did Christ say to the disciples that should, in their understanding, prevent them from being tempted by such the hard way? First, as they say, forewarned is forearmed. But still, in difficult trials, this can, on the contrary, lead to despair, when you know that everyone will hate you, turn away, beat you, and so on. So how did Christ console his disciples, what should have protected them from the temptation to deviate from the Truth? The answer to this is in the phrase that we are all discussing today, and in its continuation. Christ tells them a phrase understandable to everyone, that if you have a friend, then greatest love You can show him respect by giving your life for him. This image is clear to everyone and does not require explanation. Such cases were known to history even before Christ. Further, Christ speaks precisely of the great consolation for His disciples: “You are My friends if you do what I command you. I no longer call you servants, for the servant does not know what his master is doing; but I have called you friends” ( John 15, 14-15). What does this mean and why was it supposed to comfort the disciples? Is there anything greater than becoming God's friend? Those. Christ says that he will exalt them for their work, suffering and patience with something that a person could not even dream of - he will no longer be a slave, but a FRIEND of God. As for love for a friend from the mentioned quote, Christ did not make this an ideal, because he set love for enemies as an ideal. About love for friends He said: “And if you love those who love you, what gratitude do you have for that? For sinners also love those who love them” (Luke 6:23)

Sergey Sukharev, 32 years old, regent:

These words are a manifestation of how selflessly the Lord came to save man. That is why such a high ideal of love is set for a person.

Dmitry Avsineev,42 years old, private entrepreneur:

It seems to me that we are talking about sacrifice here. By the word soul, I mean life. A sacrifice of one’s life, not only and not so much in the literal sense, for example, in war or in other similar circumstances, but most of all, when it is expressed through one’s entire life and actions! When a person sacrifices for the sake of another person what is most dear to him! For example: your comfort, your time, your physical and spiritual strength, etc. Of course, not excluding giving your life in the literal sense of the word! But this is still more the exception than the rule, especially in our time. Therefore, I understand giving my soul - how to sacrifice everything that is dear to me, that fills my everyday life.

Church Interpretation:

Evfimy Zigaben

No one has greater sowing love, but whoever lays down his life for his friends...

greater than that love which is so great that the lover sacrifices his soul for his friends, as I am doing now. So, not as a result of powerlessness, but out of love for you, I die and, according to the Divine Economy, am moving away from you; so don't be sad. Having called the disciples His friends, Jesus Christ further says that this is required of them in order to be His friends.

Dietrich Bonhoeffer

PRAYERS FOR FELLOW PRISONERS. Christmas 1943

Morning prayer

God, I cry to You at dawn. Help me to pray and gather my thoughts towards You; I can't do this alone.

In me it is dark, but in You there is light; I am lonely, but You do not leave me; faint-hearted, but You have help; restless, but with You there is peace; I have bitterness, but You have patience; Your ways are incomprehensible to me, but You know the way for me.

Heavenly Father, praise and gratitude to You for the peace of the night, praise and gratitude to You for the new day, praise and gratitude to You for all Your kindness and faithfulness in my past life.

You have done a lot of good things for me, now give me the strength to accept a heavy burden from Your hand.

You will put on me no more than I can bear.

Everything with You serves for the benefit of Your children.

Lord Jesus Christ, You were poor and miserable, captured and abandoned, like me.

You know all the troubles of people, You will stay with me when everyone abandons me, You will not forget me and will find me, You want me to know You and turn to You.

Lord, I hear Your call and follow it, help me!

Holy Spirit, give me faith that will save me from despair, passions and vices, give me love for God and people, which will destroy all hatred and bitterness, give me hope that will save me from fear and cowardice.

Holy, merciful God, My Creator and Savior, My Judge and Deliverer, You know me and all my affairs.

You hate evil and punish it in this and this world, regardless of persons, You forgive the sins of those who sincerely ask for it, You love goodness and pay for it on this earth with a comforted conscience, and in the world to come with a crown of righteousness.

Before You, I think about all my loved ones, about my fellow prisoners and all those who perform their hard service in this monastery.

Have mercy, God!

Grant me freedom, and let me live in such a way that I can justify my life before You and before people.

My God, whatever this day brings, glorified be Your name.

Evening prayer

Lord, my god, I thank You that You have brought this day to an end; I thank You that You give peace to body and soul.

Your hand was over me, protecting and protecting me.

Forgive me all the lack of faith and all the wrongness of this day and help me forgive everyone from whom I suffered wrong.

Give me peaceful sleep under Your protection and protect me from the temptations of darkness.

I entrust to You my loved ones, this house, I entrust to You my body and soul.

My God, may your holy name be glorified.

One day tells another that my life is a journey to great eternity.

Oh eternity, you are beautiful, let my heart get used to you; my home is not from this time.

Prayer in great trouble

Lord God, a great misfortune has befallen me. Worries choke me. I'm confused.

Have mercy, God, and help.

Give me strength to bear Your burden.

Don’t let fear take over me, take fatherly care of my loved ones, my wife and children.

Merciful God, forgive me all the sins I have committed before You and people. I trust in Your mercy and place my life in Your hands.

Do with me whatever You want and whatever is good for me.

In life or death, I am with You, and You are with me, my God.

Lord, I wait for Your Salvation and Your Kingdom.

Dietrich Bonhoeffer. Resistance and submission

Trust

Almost everyone experiences betrayal first hand. The figure of Judas, so incomprehensible before, is no longer alien to us. Yes, all the air we breathe is poisoned by mistrust, from which we just die. And if we break through the veil of mistrust, we will have the opportunity to gain the experience of trust, which we did not even suspect about before. We are taught that we can safely entrust our head to someone we trust; Despite all the ambiguity that characterizes our lives and our affairs, we have learned to trust limitlessly. Now we know that only with such trust, which is always a risk, but a risk joyfully accepted, can we really live and work. We know that it is highly reprehensible to sow or encourage mistrust and that, on the contrary, trust should be maintained and strengthened wherever possible. Trust will always remain for us one of the greatest, rare and inspiring gifts that life among people brings with it, but it is always born only against the dark background of necessary distrust. We have learned not to give ourselves up to meanness in anything, but in hands worthy of trust, we surrender ourselves without a trace.

Sense of quality

If we do not have the courage to restore a genuine sense of distance between people and personally fight for it, we will perish in the chaos of human values. Impudence, the essence of which is ignoring all the distances that exist between people, characterizes the mob as well as internal insecurity; Flirting with a boor, playing with the cattle leads to one’s own debasement. Where they no longer know who owes what to whom, where the sense of human quality and the power to maintain distance have faded, there is chaos at the doorstep. Where for the sake material well-being we put up with the advancing rudeness, there we have already surrendered, there the dam has been broken, and in the place where we are placed, chaos is spilling in streams, and the blame for this falls on us. In other times, Christianity testified to the equality of people; today it is fully country It must advocate respect for distance between people and attention to quality. Suspicions of self-interest based on false rumors, cheap accusations of antisocial views - you need to be prepared for all this. These are the inevitable quibbles of the mob about order. Anyone who allows himself to relax, to confuse himself, does not understand what we are talking about, and probably even deserves this reproach in some way. We are now experiencing a process of general degradation of all social strata and at the same time we are present at the birth of a new, aristocratic position, uniting representatives of all still existing strata of society. Aristocracy arises and exists through sacrifice, courage and a clear consciousness of who owes what to whom, through the obvious demand for due respect for those who deserve it, and through the equally understandable respect of both superiors and inferiors. The main thing is to clear and release the experience of quality buried in the depths of the soul, the main thing is to restore order based on quality. Quality is the sworn enemy of massification. Socially, this means a renunciation of the pursuit of position in society, a break with any kind of cult of stars, an unbiased look both up and down (especially when choosing a narrow circle of friends), joy in private, intimatelife, but also a courageous acceptance of social life. From a cultural perspective, the experience of quality means a return from newspapers and radio to books, from haste to leisure and silence, from distraction to concentration, from sensation to reflection, from the ideal of virtuosity to art, from snobbery to modesty, from lack of feeling. measures - towards moderation. Quantitative properties argue with each other, qualitative properties complement each other.

Compassion

It must be borne in mind that most people only learn from their own experiences. This explains, firstly, the astonishing inability to take preventive action of any kind: they hope to avoid danger until it is too late; secondly, deafness to the suffering of others. Co-suffering arises and grows in proportion to the growing fear of the threatening proximity of misfortune. Much can be said to justify this position: from an ethical point of view, one does not want to tempt fate; a person draws inner conviction and strength to act only in a serious case that has become a reality; a person is not responsible for all the injustice and all the suffering in the world and does not want to take the position of a magistrate; With psychological point vision - the lack of imagination, sensitivity, internal mobilization is compensated by unshakable calm, tireless zeal and developed ability suffer. From a Christian point of view, however, all these arguments should not be misleading, because the main thing here is the lack of spiritual breadth. Christ avoided suffering until his hour struck; and then he voluntarily accepted them, mastered them and overcame them. Christ, as the Scripture says, knew with his flesh all human suffering as his own suffering (an incomprehensibly lofty thought!), He took it upon himself voluntarily, freely. We, of course, are far from Christ, we are not called to save the world by our own deeds and sufferings, we should not shoulder the burden of the impossible and suffer, realizing our inability to bear it, we are not the Lord, but instruments in the hand of the Lord of history and only to a very limited extent are able to truly empathize with the suffering of other people. We are far from Christ, but if we want to be Christians, then we must acquire a piece of the heartfelt breadth of Christ - by a responsible act, in right moment voluntarily exposing oneself to danger, and genuine compassion, the source of which is not fear, but the liberating and saving love of Christ for all those who suffer. Passive waiting and dull contemplation are not a Christian position. What calls a Christian to action and compassion is not so much his own bitter experience as the ordeal of the brothers for whom Christ suffered.

About suffering

It is immeasurably easier to suffer by obeying a human order than by committing an act, making a free choice, taking responsibility. It is incomparably easier to suffer in a group than alone. Honorable suffering in public view is infinitely easier than suffering in obscurity and shame. It is immeasurably easier to suffer physically than spiritually. Christ suffered, having made a free choice, alone, in obscurity and shame, physically and spiritually, and since then millions of Christians have suffered with him.

Present and future

Until now, it seemed to us that the ability to plan one’s life, both professionally and personally, was an inalienable human right. It's over. By force of circumstances, we are plunged into a situation in which we are forced to abandon concern for “tomorrow” (Mt 6:34), and it is important whether this is done from a free position of faith, which implies Sermon on the Mount, or as a forced slavish service to the current moment. For most people, being forced to give up planning for the future means an irresponsible, frivolous, or frustratedly indifferent surrender to the present moment; few still dream passionately about better times in the future, trying to distract himself with this from thoughts about the present. Both positions are equally unacceptable to us. All that remains for us is a very narrow and sometimes barely discernible path - to accept every day as if it were the last, and yet not give up faith and responsibility, as if we still have a great future ahead of us. “Houses and fields and vineyards will be bought again in this land” (Jeremiah 15) - this is what Jeremiah seems to have prophesied (about a paradoxical contradiction with his jeremiads) on the eve of the destruction of the holy city; in front of complete absence of every future it was a divine sign and a guarantee of a new, great future. To think and act without losing sight of the future generation, while maintaining the readiness to leave this world without fear or worry any day, is a position that has practically been imposed on us, and it is not easy to stand on it bravely, but it is necessary.

Optimism

The smartest thing to do is to be a pessimist: disappointments are forgotten, and you can look people in the eyes without shame. Optimism is therefore not in favor reasonable people. Optimism in its essence is not a look beyond the current moment, it is vitality, the power of hope that does not dry up where others despair, the power not to hang one’s head when all efforts seem in vain, the power to endure the blows of fate, the power not to give up the future to the mercy of the enemy, but dispose of it yourself. Of course, one can also encounter stupid, cowardly optimism, which is unacceptable. But no one should look down on optimism - the will for the future, even if he is mistaken a hundred times; optimism is vital health, we must protect it from contagious diseases. There are people who do not take it seriously; there are Christians who do not consider it entirely pious to hope for a better earthly future and prepare for it. They believe that the meaning of modern events lies in chaos, disorder, catastrophes, and therefore shun (some with disappointment and indifference, some in pious flight from the world) responsibility for later life, for new construction, for future generations. It is quite possible that the Last Judgment will break out tomorrow, but only then will we willingly postpone our affairs until better times, not earlier.

Danger and death

The thought of death has become increasingly common in recent years. We ourselves are surprised at the calmness with which we perceive the news of the death of our peers. We can no longer hate death; we have seen something like goodness in its features and have almost come to terms with it. Basically we feel that we already belong to her and that every new day is a miracle. But it would, perhaps, be wrong to say that we die willingly (although everyone is familiar with a certain fatigue, which, however, under no circumstances should one succumb to), - for this we are apparently too curious, or, to put it more seriously: we would still like to know something more about the meaning of our chaotic life. We do not at all paint death in heroic tones; life is too significant and dear to us for that. And we even more so refuse to see the meaning of life in danger; for this we are not yet desperate enough and are too familiar with the fear for life and with all the other destructive effects of a constant threat. We still love life, but I think that death will no longer be able to take us completely by surprise. The experience gained during the war years will hardly allow us to admit to ourselves a cherished desire for death to overtake us not by chance, not suddenly, away from the main thing, but in the midst of the fullness of life, at the moment of complete surrender of our strength. Not external circumstances, but we ourselves will make death what it can be - death by voluntary consent.

Are we still needed?

We have been mute witnesses to evil deeds, we have gone through thick and thin, we have learned the Aesopian language and mastered the art of pretending, our own experience has made us distrustful of people, and we have deprived them of the truth many times. free speech, we are broken by unbearable conflicts, or maybe we have simply become cynics - are we still needed? We will need not geniuses, not cynics, not misanthropes, not refined schemers, but simple, artless, straightforward people. Whether we have enough internal strength to resist what is being imposed on us, whether we remain mercilessly frank about ourselves - that is what determines whether we will again find the path to simplicity and straightforwardness.

LETTERS about ANOTHER

I must take advantage of the fact that you are close and write to you. You know that I am not even able to meet with the pastor here... Let me tell you something that you should definitely know about me. In those first 12 days, when I was isolated here as... a criminal with an appropriate attitude towards me (in the neighboring cells to this day there are practically only shackled candidates for the next world), Paul Gerhardt and the psalms and the Apocalypse helped me in an unexpected way. These days I was delivered from serious temptations. You are the only one who knows that “acedia” - “tnstitia” with all its threatening consequences often haunted me, and maybe I was afraid of this, worried about me in this regard. But from the very beginning I told myself that I would not give this pleasure to either people or the devil; if they really want it, let them take care of it themselves; and I hope to continue to stand my ground.

At first I racked my brains over the question of whether that for the sake of which I am giving you so much trouble is really the work of Christ; but I quickly dismissed this question as a temptation and came to the conclusion that my task was precisely to withstand this borderline situation with all its problems; this made me very happy, and my joy continues to this day (1 Peter 2, 20; 3, 14).

Personally, I reproached myself for not finishing the Ethics (it was, apparently, partially confiscated), I was slightly consoled that I told you the most important thing, and even if you had already forgotten everything, then still in some indirect way it will show up. And besides, my ideas haven’t been fully thought through yet.

Further, I took it as an omission that I never fulfilled my old dream of going to Communion with you again someday... and yet I know that we, albeit not physically, but spiritually, have shared the gift of confession, resolution and communion, and I can rejoice in this regard and be calm. But I still wanted to say this.

While it was possible, I began, in addition to reading the Bible daily (I read it two and a half times Old Testament and learned a lot from this reading), to non-theological work. The article on “The Sense of Time” grew largely out of a need to recapture my own past in a situation where time could so easily be perceived as “empty” and “lost.”

Gratitude and repentance are the two feelings that constantly keep our past before our eyes. But I’ll say more about this later.

Then I started a daring undertaking that had been attracting me for a long time: I began to write the history of a bourgeois family of our time. All the endless conversations that we had in this direction, and everything I experienced serves as a background; in short, this should be a rehabilitation of the burghers, familiar to us from our families, and a rehabilitation from Christianity. The children of two close families in one small town are little by little entering the age of responsible tasks and responsibilities and together they are trying to promote the public good in the posts of burgomaster, teacher, pastor, doctor, engineer. You would find a lot of familiar signs, and you yourself were brought here. But I didn’t get very far beyond the beginning, primarily because of constant and false predictions regarding my liberation and the associated internal lack of composure. But it gives me a lot of joy. It’s just that I miss everyday conversations with you on this topic, and even more than you think... In the meantime, I wrote an article “What does it mean to tell the truth?”, and in at the moment I'm trying to compose prayers for prisoners, which, oddly enough, no one has written yet, and perhaps I will distribute them for Christmas.

And now about reading. Yes, E[berhard], I very much regret that we did not meet Stifter together. This would greatly enliven our conversations.

We'll have to save it for the future. I have a lot to tell you about this. In the future? When and what will it be like? Just in case, I handed over my will to the lawyer... But perhaps (or even certainly) you are now in even greater danger! Every day I will think about you and pray to God to protect and bring you back... Is it possible, if I had not been convicted, released and called up, to arrange for me to end up in your regiment? That would be great! By the way, if I am convicted (which cannot be known in advance), don’t worry about me! This really won’t affect me much, except that I will have to sit out a few more months until the end of the “probationary period”, and this, frankly speaking, is not very pleasant. But many things cannot be called pleasant! In a case in which I could be found guilty, a mosquito won’t hurt my nose so much that I can only be proud. Otherwise, I hope that if God saves our lives, at least we can celebrate Easter together happily...

But let's promise to be faithful in praying for each other. I will pray that you will be given strength, health, patience and firmness in conflicts and temptations. Pray the same for me. And if we are not destined to see each other again, then let us remember each other until the last moment - thanking and forgiving, and may God grant us to appear before His Throne in prayer for each other, glorifying and thanking Him.

For me (as, I think, for you) the hardest thing internally for me is getting up in the morning (Jer 31:26!). Now I just pray for freedom. But there is also a false indifference that cannot be considered Christian. We, as Christians, can not be at all ashamed of a bit of impatience, melancholy, disgust in the face of the unnatural, a bit of thirst for freedom, earthly happiness and the opportunity to work. On this, I think you and I agree.

Otherwise, we are probably still the same, despite everything or precisely because of everything that we are each experiencing now in our own way, isn’t it? I hope you don’t think that I’ll leave here as a soldier of the “back ranks” - now this is even less true than ever! I think exactly the same about you. What a joyful day it will be when we can tell each other about our experiences! Still, sometimes I get so angry that I’m not free now! ...

Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends

This is why the Father loves Me, because I lay down My life in order to take it again. No one takes it away from Me, but I myself give it. I have power to lay it down, and I have power to take it up again.(John 10:17-18) .

What amazing, what words unheard of by the world: He Himself gave His life for the salvation of the world. He said that no one took His life, but He Himself gave His life. You may be perplexed: didn’t the high priests, Pharisees and scribes, who obtained from Pilate to condemn Him to crucifixion, take His life, and He says: I myself gave my life, no one took it from me.

Remember what He said in the Garden of Gethsemane, when Judas the traitor came, when they wanted to arrest Him, when fiery Peter drew his sword, struck the high priest’s servant and cut off his ear; remember what He said then: Or do you think that I cannot now pray to My Father, and He will present to Me more than twelve legions of Angels?(Matt. 26:53) . He could do it: He Himself possessed Divine power. He could strike His enemies, terribly. But He didn't. He, like a sheep led to the slaughter, gave Himself into the hands of His enemies. He Himself, of His own will, gave His life for the salvation of the human race.

I have authority to lay it down, and I have authority to receive it again.. After all, it came true: He took up His life again when He rose again on the third day. Well, don’t these amazing words have some relation to us Christians? Was it only Christ Himself who voluntarily gave His life, and only He who had the power to accept it? No, He gave this great power to us, people.

You know that there were many thousands of martyrs of Christ who, imitating Him, gave their lives for His holy name, voluntarily submitted to suffering, to such tortures as only the devilish brain of the enemies of Christ could imagine. They could have saved their lives, and yet they gave it. Just renounce Christ, make a sacrifice to idols - and you will receive everything; and they gave their lives. And what, didn’t they accept her later, like the Lord Jesus Himself? They accepted, they accepted: they all glorify God at the Throne of the Most High, they all rejoice with inexpressible and eternal joy. They, after giving their life, accepted it forever and ever, accepted it forever. You see: these words can also apply to us, people, to us, Christians.

But, you say, the times when they shed their blood for Christ are long gone. Now how can we give our lives for Christ?

First of all, the opinion that there were martyrs of Christ only in the first centuries of Christianity, when the Roman emperors initiated cruel persecution of Christians, is incorrect: it is incorrect, for in all subsequent times, and even in recent times, there were new martyrs. In the 16th century, three young men gave their lives for Him: the Vilna martyrs John, Anthony and Eustathius. There were martyrs who in the Middle Ages gave their lives for Christ, being cruelly killed by the Turks and Muslims because they refused to renounce their faith in Christ and accept Mohammedanism.

Martyrdom is possible at all times. But giving your life for Christ does not mean only shedding your blood as a martyr: there is for all of us that opportunity, which the great saints followed. There is an opportunity to give your life for your friends. The Lord laid down His soul for sinful humanity, and commanded us all to reach such a peak of love that we would lay down our souls for our friends. Laying down your soul does not mean only giving your life, as the martyrs gave. Laying down your life does not only mean dying for your neighbors; to lay down your soul means to renounce yourself, to renounce your aspirations for wealth, for pleasures, for honor and glory, to renounce everything that our flesh requires. This means setting the goal of your life to serve your neighbors. There were many saints who laid down their souls for their neighbors.

In the history of the Russian Church such an example is given in the person of St. Juliania of Murom. She lived during the reign of Ivan the Terrible and Boris Godunov, and was the daughter of a nobleman who served as a housekeeper at the court of Ivan the Terrible. She lived two miles from the church, she was not taught to read and write, she was rarely allowed to go to church, she lived in a tower. She lived a boring prison life and constantly prayed, lived and did works of mercy. In her early youth, at the age of 16, she was married to a noble nobleman. It seemed that she could enjoy wealth, a high position, could change, as people often change to the worst people who find themselves in such a situation. But she remained just as pious, completely devoted to works of mercy. She set herself the task of taking every possible care of the poor, the poor, the wretched. At night she spun, knitted, embroidered and sold her products to help the unfortunate.

It so happened that her husband was sent on state affairs to Astrakhan, and alone she served the poor and unfortunate even more diligently: she helped everyone, fed everyone. But then her husband died, she was left alone, and her wealth was shaken; she squandered her wealth on helping the poor. There was a famine in the area where she lived, a kind heart did not tolerate the sight of the hungry, a kind heart demanded that all those suffering receive help, and she sold her property: she gave everything away and divided herself, lost everything and remained poor.

A cruel pestilence, a widespread disease, terribly contagious, from which people died in the thousands, was raging in Rus'. In fear and horror, people locked themselves in their houses. What is St. doing? Juliana? Without any fear, she goes to where the unfortunate die, she serves them. She is not afraid of becoming infected and is ready to give her life, serving the unfortunate dying. The Lord preserved her, she continued to live in righteousness and peace, Saint Juliana died by her own death. Here is an example of how each of us can give our life in order to take it again.

Remember these words of Christ: “For this reason the Father loves Me, because I lay down my life in order to take it up again.” And everyone who follows Christ and voluntarily gives his life will be loved by the Heavenly Father. He will reward everyone who gave his life for his friends with eternal joy, unspeakable joy forever in His Kingdom.

Hurry to follow Christ. To the words: “Lay down your life for your friends.”

Sanka appeared with us when the supplies were bringing us food - they say, take a soldier, he was sent to you, but he lost his own. In the grandiose mess that was going on in Grozny at that time, such a situation was not uncommon, but our battalion commander somehow seemed suspicious about the new soldier, and he, taking him with him, spent an hour finding out something on the radio. Although our new comrade looked the least like a spy - a red-haired, freckled, awkward fellow of about twenty-two or twenty-three with a simple smile and a “cursing” talk. He immediately came up to us, without any introduction, began to shake everyone’s hand, simultaneously starting his monologue: “ Good afternoon, Slavs, my name is Sanya, my last name is Somov, I’m from the Volga, the village of Rogozino, I left my mother alone, are there any fellow countrymen? You won’t find work here, I went to Samara - no one needs me there, except for the streets of revenge, but I’ll study later, but I don’t have a specialty, who needs combine operators in the city? Our village is now completely empty, the collective farm is gone, but my mother would like to buy a cow, she really loves this thing from me, fiddling with animals. My mother thinks I went to Kuban to work, she was the only one left with me, Afghan took my brother ten years ago, he died there, and after that my dad started drinking heavily, and for the eighth year he’s already drowned, I served in the military in Karelia, I know how to shoot , so I’ll be useful to you, here you all somehow call me by nicknames, so it’s better to call me Catfish, and not red-haired, as the guys at school called me “red-haired”, I’m tired of it, but they feed you like here..." And so - boo-boo-boo he tells everything in a booming voice, not at all embarrassed, and just looking everyone in the eyes.

We were a little taken aback by such a “presentation”, and somehow even embarrassed - even our sharp-tongued Sanka and Andryukha Twix, who always greet newcomers with jokes, and even then - simply looked at each other and silently shook his hand.

The very first day of his stay among us was marked by an incident - the soldier disappeared, as if he sank into the water. Prapor Kuzmich is running around swearing, everyone is in bewilderment - so on the first day... In the evening Sanka appeared and brought a duffel bag filled with caramels. "Dove", in my opinion. Six kilograms, no less. It turns out, having not received any orders about what to do next, he couldn’t think of anything better than to go and get acquainted with new places. He exchanged the candy at the market for the sneakers he brought with him. Those candies are a separate story: faded candy wrappers, they were probably released under socialism - to say that they were hard is to say nothing: they could easily be compacted into cartridges for heavy machine gun, add gunpowder and use them as armor-piercing cartridges. Sanka (who had pretty much raked it out of Kuzmich for such an unauthorized shopping tour) distributed the candies to everyone, “with acquaintance,” as he said.

Hard, hard, and within a day we gobbled them up - a soldier’s teeth are stronger than any armor.

Soma's inquisitive mind was revealed in all its glory when he took several books and a globe from the school building, destroyed during shelling, and for some time carried all this wealth with him - except for the globe, which we adapted - may the teachers forgive us - to be used as a soccer ball, True, the model of our Earth did not live long as a ball: during the second game, the improvised ball shattered into pieces, but the result of the first match, when reconnaissance (we) defeated the landing force with a score of 10:6, remained a subject of discussion for a long time.

I don’t remember the “assortment” of books that Sanya found, I only know for sure that among them there was either a Russian-Portuguese or a Russian-Spanish phrasebook, because Sanya enthusiastically took up mastering foreign languages. Soma's bass voice turned into a nasty tenor when he quite loudly repeated phrases, 90% of which were two: "Como permissio senora" and "Sta bien, gracias." And so on a hundred times a day, for a week. With his linguistic and vocal exercises, he drove not only us, but also our shepherd Dina to the brink, who, three days later, just seeing Sanya pick up a small book, whining and fearfully pressing her ears back, climbed under the bater, despite all that She didn’t react to shots or explosions at all. It ended with some kind soul throwing Sanka’s tutorial somewhere, and our polyglot stopped studying.

There was definitely a book about sports, something like short encyclopedia about the great athletes of the 20th century. I don’t know in what informational isolation Sanka lived in his village, but many things he learned for the first time amazed him like a child. For some reason, the American athlete from the beginning of the century, “rubber man” Ray Urey, a standing high jumper (there was such a sport at the beginning of the century, even had Olympic status), sank into his soul. And so it began... A little free minute - Sanya draws a line, and let's jump from the spot in length, then measures something there with a short ruler. People lay down laughing when Sanya, in full gear, thundered with his jumps, and then crawled on all fours with a ruler and measured his results. Captain Musaev even became interested in our future Olympic star, especially when he saw that Sanya was jumping, taking a piece of a caterpillar track in his hands (to increase the load, as he said). Absolutely stunned, Musa silently watched this for a minute, and then, when we explained to him what was happening here, he advised: “Put another mortar slab on this Brumel’s neck for added stress!”

Despite such tricks, the people loved Sanka, and if they made fun of him, it was without malice, and it was generally impossible to quarrel with him.

Som didn’t have very close friends, his benevolent and kind attitude extended to everyone en masse, he would never refuse help, and more often than not you didn’t even need to ask him - Sanya always appeared where needed, and in response to attempts of gratitude, he embarrassedly with his hands and said in a deep voice: “Come on, they’re our own people!”

One evening Sanka, hanging around our radio operator Dimon-Cactus, disappeared again. As it turned out later, having contacted the nearest checkpoint by radio (about three kilometers from us), Sanka pulled there to visit his found fellow countryman. He returned back at about two in the morning with two containers of porridge and prompted half the company with his bass voice: “Slavs, I brought you porridge, let’s eat while it’s warm!” Well, what do you tell him?

Porridge would be porridge, if not for one small “but” - Sanya stomped back and forth on minefield(without the slightest idea of ​​its existence), with which our engineering service, on the third day, fenced us off from a suspicious area of ​​greenery, and just this morning, the commander of our sappers, Senior Lieutenant Prokhanov, knocked his heel in the chest in front of the battalion commander, saying that not even a mouse would pass there (by the way, his The minefield did serve its purpose - the next night there were about five explosions from the greenery, who got there - we didn’t go check).

Our Sanya has been amazing more than once, but you can’t even remember it all.

One morning we received a message on the radio that our second reconnaissance platoon had found a couple of dugouts and warehouses of spirit weapons not far from us, the guys themselves, having reported that it was clean there and they could take it all, moved on. Well, pick it up, pick it up, let’s get ready and go (about 10 km from our location). Sanka asked to come with us - Kuzmich did not object. "Ural" airborne, BMP-ha, there are fifteen of us. We left after lunch. Somehow it never occurred to anyone that the situation with the “clean” state could have changed in half a day. We arrived, left three of us at the equipment, the rest unloaded and went to search at the indicated coordinates. When approaching the intended place, one of the first three caught a mine: Mishka-Kuznets was immediately hit, two (Philip Kopylov, Filin, and Slavik Rocky) were seriously wounded. And away we go - they started watering us from all sides, and the place is like this - we are in the middle of a greenery on an almost bare edge, with sparse bushes, and where they are hitting from, and you don’t immediately understand, a little further away there are dense bushes and trees around us, the hill on the right is completely drowned in vegetation. So let's go get some weapons! Everyone lay down with their faces in the ground - and we move towards the bushes, shooting at random. Fortunately, everyone crawled there, only Vitka Boroda was caught in the shoulder. Sanka dragged Owl along with him, and Andryukha Twix brought Slavik.

Filipp-Owl's legs were crushed - just a mess, and while we were shooting back - Kuzmich was casting a spell on him, tightening him with a tourniquet, injecting him with promedol. Where we left the equipment, two explosions and bursts were heard. Almost simultaneously, Romka-Moskvich receives a bullet in the thigh. It looks like we were in serious trouble this time. There are three roads left, as they say - either go head-on (and seven plus four three-hundredths, three of them heavy - this is suicide), or return to the road, but judging by what we heard explosions - there is nowhere to return, or along the hill through the thickets to try to somehow escape from here. In the meantime, we huddle in the bushes, spread out a little, and shoot back at the sound.

Sanka Som crawls up to Kuzmich, silently picks up Filin’s machine gun in addition to his own, and half-bent runs past us, closer to the edge of the thicket, blaring: “That’s it, guys, leave with the wounded.” Kuzmich shouts something after him. Without turning around, Sanka waves his hand and says, “Go away.” Then, in the same way, under the fountains of bullets, he runs through an open space and hides in the bushes opposite.

Sanya, Sanya... Everyone turns to Kuzmich - he looks for a second in the direction where Sanya disappeared, sighs - and gestures that he needs to leave. We line up in a chain and crawl, hiding our eyes from each other, crawl through the thickets, in the direction opposite to where we came from. We carry the wounded on ourselves. There is an ongoing firefight behind us - we all understand: Sanya has no chance, and now we simply MUST get out of here and drag the three hundredth. A minute, two, three... fifth... we crawl until we bump into anyone, we can still hear queues behind us... Our soul is torn in half...

There is a rustling and crackling of branches in the bushes in front - Andryukha Twix instantly sends a burst of fire there, in response - a groan and a child’s cry: “Da-ya-ya-day, don’t shoot!” What the hell is this?! Mishka Gaeva and Sanya Twix crawl towards the bushes, and half a minute later they emerge from there, carrying a moaning girl of about 11-12 years old, whose side is bleeding. Kuzmich (he was our main doctor in such situations - after all, he had four courses of Medina, and he spent three years in Afghanistan as a paramedic). We stop. Kuzmich examines the girl - judging by his phrases, nothing serious, one bullet hit the left side in the hypochondrium area, the liver and spleen are intact, but there is a lot of blood. Bandages it. The girl loses consciousness - promedol - and we continue to move. Later, when the girl regained consciousness, we learned her story: two months ago, her parents, she and younger brother We were getting ready to leave Gudermes to visit relatives somewhere to the north (as she said). He doesn’t know how or where they were going, only once his parents went to negotiate for a car and disappeared. She and her brother waited for them for three days, then they themselves decided to go to their aunt in Nazran (in my opinion), a week later her brother died of dysentery, she buried herself in the forest. And now, for a month now, she has been wandering around Chechnya alone, without the slightest idea where she is. Three days later, from our location (the girl recovered surprisingly quickly), she was sent on a helicopter along with other wounded to the hospital in Mozdok. Her name was Alla Kononova. Now, probably, the bride is already...

There is no shooting from behind us... The sense of time is completely lost.

We go out onto the road. Half a kilometer ahead of us, a convoy was gathering dust, moving in our direction (we didn’t know then that those of ours, whom we had left on the road, and who were burned by the spirits along with their equipment, managed to radio on the radio that shooting had started and called I'll help).

Landing, you are our dear ones... A minute later we were already explaining the situation to them, loading the wounded into the BMPhe, and sending it back, we were returning to that damned place with warehouses. I must say that, in my understanding, the battle almost didn’t work out - two platoons from Captain Merezhko’s company (God bless him, he should now work as a teacher at the Ryazan Airborne School) plus a little of us, quickly mowed down the spirits.

In total, there were about twenty soldiers of Allah there, which was later counted - about fifteen corpses and seriously wounded and five prisoners.

We found Sanka near the second dugout, about a hundred meters from the first, where we ran into an ambush. He lay almost completely naked, covered in blood, with his torso and groin shredded, and his legs shot. As we understand, he was wounded in the legs, and then they took him and began to torture him. Metal scissors were lying nearby, covered in blood. In Sanka's blood.

Sanya was still alive, a confused consciousness appeared in him at times, sometimes his gaze even became meaningful, he seemed to no longer feel pain. We knelt in front of him, and in those moments when consciousness returned to him, he whispered hoarsely: “Now where am I good for, just going home, well, at least help my mother, but I’ll get some treatment at home - I miss you and my brother dearly.” ...he is waiting for me... I know... we both will return to you, Slavs... dear ones..."

Half an hour later Sanya was gone.

The clothes torn from him lay nearby. Andryukha Twix, while we were picking up the weapons and ammunition, collected it and began to take out documents, Sanya’s things, and various small things. He took out a book from Sanka’s bra and began to flip through it mechanically. I approached from behind, Andryukha turned to me and, hiding his tears, turned his face away, continuing to leaf through. There was something underlined on one of the pages. I leaned lower, stopped Andryukha’s hand, and we both read what was underlined.

It was the Gospel of John, and Sanka emphasized the phrase: “Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends.”