The father is gay. The Pope said that homosexuals were “created by God” (but this is not accurate)

The oldest is now 87 years old, her name is Genevieve, her mother Margarita was born in 1886, and she had “lesbian tendencies.” The youngest is 18, her name is Clotilde, she is studying at the Faculty of Law in Paris, her parents met through an advertisement in a gay magazine.

The Libération newspaper talks about those children who grew up in gay and lesbian families. The article appeared thanks to the publication of the book “Fils de” by photographer Zabu Karier and journalist Taina Tervonen, who talked about these children and how they became adults.

Sons and daughters of gays and lesbians

There are 30 characters and 30 stories in the book. The book came out on November 4th. And the day before, the Bayona tribunal granted a woman who lives with her friend the right to raise her children.

Some children first lived in “classical” families, and then, after a divorce, they were, for example, raised by one of the parents who “cammed out.”
Others originally came into same-sex families after being fostered or adopted somewhere overseas. They talk about their parents.

How to tell a child that you are homosexual, especially when he was born into a “hetero” family? Some made this clear without words.
Gerald, 42 years old, Parisian, recalls how his parents divorced: “I was 14-15 years old when I realized that my father was gay: I found him with a man at home early in the morning. He was never able to state this directly.".

Not all stories are so laconic. 10 years ago my father said 19 year old Antoine"something important": "I love men" .
“Right away I reacted normally, but in the evening I remember saying to myself: “Damn it, my father is homosexual!” And that's when I felt different. Perhaps there was something negative and even abusive in the word “homosexual”.”, says Antoine.

Many of the characters in the book say that “they always knew” that their father or mother was not like “everyone else.”

Leticia, 33 years old, photographer:“When my father finally decided to talk to me about it, I was 16 years old. We met, he did not dare to say directly. But I knew what he wanted to communicate, but I didn’t want to make it easier for him. I wanted him to say it himself.”

Sometimes the initiative still comes from children.

Cynthia, 34 years old, nurse:“I finally decided to ask him a question when I was about 18. I got my driver’s license. We went together to the island of Re. I thought it wouldn't happen best moment. But before I started talking, I still drove 300 kilometers...”. After Cynthia asked the question and her father answered it, they stopped and exhaled. “And after that we made our journey without any heaviness on our souls.”

When children know their parents are gay, how do they talk about it?

“At home we didn’t talk about the relationship between mom and Mimi, but at the same time, everything was clear to everyone. They were a happy couple", - says Brun, a 29-year-old translator.
When she explained to her friend that the two women were a couple, her friend immediately said, “Oh... they're lesbians.” This is how this word entered her life: “It was kind of funny to me. It was a word from TV, and now it was used when talking about my life.”

Bastien, 25 years old, He said this: “dad” - about his father, and about his partner - “daddy”. “Daddy” appeared in their house when Bastien was 11 years old. When he introduces them to his friends, Bastien says: "This is my father and my stepfather". It also has another formulation: “I say that my father prefers men to women.”

Leticia acts much more openly: “I say that my father is a homosexual. I am the one who talks about this, perhaps this makes his task easier. And when I suddenly hear jokes about gays, I just climb the wall!”

Recognize your parents' homosexuality, talk about it or not, be afraid of being rejected or be prepared for reactions.

The characters on the pages of the book constantly talk about the “public reaction”. Gerard It took a long time to tell friends that his father was gay: “Sometimes there were those who were not in the know. It wasn't always easy to talk about it."

Francois, 25 years old, salesman, remembers how one day a neighbor staircase his mother called him names, and mailbox someone crossed out the last name and wrote “Whores.”

"I have three mothers"

These children from gay families are now adults, some have even started their own families. And they all have a flexible and selective vision of the family.

Celine, 32 years old: « My stepmother new wife my father, helped me understand a lot about the relationship between my mother and her half-friend - it’s a love story, that’s all. When I was 11-12 years old, I read Dolto (Françoise Dolto - psychoanalyst and pediatrician - RFI), and I realized that I had three mothers.".

Gael, 35 years old, mother of a 6-year-old boy:“He has three grandfathers: Zhezhe, Dodo, and his grandfather is my mother’s husband.”. And they all go on vacation together.

For someone " new friend dads” became something more - a second father.
A family is built, a family is chosen, and “blood ties” do not always decide everything. And this open position, of course, sometimes meets its opponents.

According to Juan Carlos Cruz, young man who became a victim sexual violence on the part of the Catholic priest, when meeting him, the Pope said: “It doesn’t matter that you’re gay. God made you this way." The Vatican does not deny these words. Some LGBT rights advocates are celebrating the victory, while others are skeptical of the alleged remarks.

The fact that the Catholic Church, led by Pope Francis, may be ready to come to terms with homosexuality as a norm began to be discussed in the media and social networks after a man who was seduced by a priest as a child shared with the world the details of his conversation with the pontiff.

Chilean Juan Carlos Cruz met with the Pope a few weeks ago and talked with him face to face. According to CNN, Cruz has now revealed some details of the meeting. In particular, according to him, the head of the Catholic Church not only did not condemn him as a homosexual, but even, on the contrary, supported him.

Cruz gave, as he says, a verbatim quote from the pope:

Juan Carlos, it doesn't matter. God created you this way. God loves you like this. Daddy loves you that way and you can love yourself and not worry about what people say.

Since publication, neither Francis himself nor anyone on his behalf has denied the Chilean's assertion. The Vatican press service said that, as usual, it “does not comment on the pope’s private conversations.”

Juan Carlos Cruz

Juan Carlos Cruz in adolescence, while a minister in the church, became one of the victims of sexual abuse by a priest named Fernando Karadima. In 2011, after an investigation, the Vatican court found Karadima guilty and he was removed from service.

The words allegedly spoken by Pope Francis immediately began to be discussed in the media and in social networks. The head of Stonewall, one of the largest human rights organizations that defends the interests of LGBT people in the UK, Ruth Hunt published a column in which she wrote that this was a long-awaited and good sign.

Francis's supposed words will help build bridges between the Catholic Church and LGBT people who feel rejected and ostracized from its fold. Many religious communities, groups, and prayer clubs already welcome LGBT people. The Church recognizes that LGBT people exist, but I would like us to finally cross the line where our love is recognized as valuable as any other.

Perhaps spoken privately, but essentially the revolutionary words of the pope are a consequence of the work done by Father James Martin, the famous catholic priest and a theologian appointed a year ago as secretary of the papal committee for external relations. Martin is known as a supporter of LGBT integration in Catholic Church. He advocates the recognition of same-sex unions and the refusal to consider homosexuality a sin.

Tommy Want Wingy

Do you hear that loud sound, like something is bursting? These are the heads of homophobic Christians exploding when they read an article about the pope and his words. I'm not religious, but I like this dad.

Others argue that the issue is not homosexuality per se, but whether cohabitation between people of the same sex is considered a sin.

Just Ana

Well, actually, as a child, I was taught in church that just BEING gay is not a problem. Sin occurs when you begin to ACT on your homosexual desires. And I'm not sure that Francis has really made any progress on this issue.

Not all those who support a softening of the church's position on LGBT people took Francis's words with confidence. Some believe that the Pope allegedly said good words about homosexuals as hypocrisy, others note that such a confession in relation to a victim of violence looks ambiguous.

Vatican Post Office

After yesterday's PR success when a dad told a sexual abuse victim "God made you gay", he visited a cancer ward and told patients: "God gave you cancer. God wants you to be like this." #Big hopes

For the past four years, photographer Gabriela Herman has been working on a project about people whose parents belong to the LGBT community. All of them, including Herman herself, who included her story in the project, are from the USA, Lenta reports.

Hope grew up with two fathers in New York City.

“Looking at the families of friends and relatives, I realized that mine was not the standard. I understood that others have a person they call mom. But I never felt disadvantaged in anything. And I didn’t suffer from the fact that I didn’t know my biological parents, although I thought about them.

I think that my parents were great and raised me strong woman. Sometimes I wonder where they got me from, but this question quickly dissipates as unnecessary.”

Mark's father from Pennsylvania came out as gay when he went to college.

“My father is gay. I understood this before, but only now was he prepared to open up to everyone. I also always knew that I was gay myself - that helped. I always noticed how my father struggled with the same feminine tendencies that I did. He stopped himself from crossing his legs. I tried to improve my way of speaking.”

Allison is from Connecticut and Vermont and grew up in a lesbian family.

"I moved to new school, where an alliance of children with same-sex parents was formed. It was incredible to know that they supported the LGBT community. Now I wasn’t the only one involved with gay people, and I no longer had to keep quiet about it.”

Lucas is from Florida. His parents divorced, and when the guy turned 15, his mother decided to come out.

“I was raised to be a tolerant person, and when my mother told me that she was a lesbian, I accepted it quite easily. It was unusual, but not difficult. If, because of her orientation, she suffered from infringement of her rights, I would definitely stand up for her. But she doesn’t have such problems.”

Jamie grew up in the suburbs of Chicago. The girl was raised by her mother and her partner.

“I was raised by my mother and her partners. Many of them and her friends were part of my life. You could say that I was raised by many different women.”

Aron from California has two mothers. After their separation, the seven-year-old boy began to live with his mother and stepfather.

"My mothers separated because my biological mother fell in love with a man. I understood that my family was different from others. But that’s how she is.”

Danielle from Washington. She has two mothers and four fathers.

“When I was four, my friend and I constantly played family. She always took on the role of mother, but one day I got tired of it. We had a big fight over this. Hearing the screams, my mother came running and, having learned the reason, suggested that we share this role. In response to my indignation that this was against the rules, she reminded me that I myself have two mothers.”

Lauren is from Kansas City, Missouri. Her father came out when she was seven.

“My parents’ divorce was greatly influenced by homosexual my father. I think it's great that while my son is growing up, he is surrounded by two grandfathers. My father’s partner is as involved in my child’s life as his own grandfather.”

Moshe, from New York, was raised by two women.

“We have always been very close. During adolescence I had a period of hatred towards them, but now it has passed. Now I love and admire them."

Zach was raised by two mothers in New York City.

“Everyone in my family was adopted. In my life there was more problems with self-determination than with the fact that I have both female parents.”

Carrie from New Jersey. She was 11 when her mother came out as a lesbian.

“I remember my mother saying that she would be happy to marry another woman. Then I was very little and decided that if so, then I could marry my best friend.”

Californian Dernell has two mothers and a father.

“I always took it for granted that I was surrounded by lesbians. It seemed normal to me. I remember well how, listening to a romantic ballad on the radio, I imagined that the singer was referring to a lover of the same sex.”

Annie grew up in Athens, Ohio. Her father came out as transgender when the girl was four years old.

“I don’t remember my father as a man. It always seemed to me that I had two mothers. I didn't attach any importance to this of great importance, because I didn’t understand that it could be otherwise. And this continued until I entered college. But I rarely talked about it. For me it’s more of a social issue, not a personal one.”

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Child's age: 1 year

My child's father is gay

Hello! I'm in a very strange situation and without... outside help, I’m afraid I won’t find the right answers... My husband and I have an arranged marriage, which we entered into solely for the purpose of having a child. My husband is gay, and I knew about it from the very beginning, but I didn’t attach serious importance to it, since he wanted a child no less than me and now adores him. But now my husband has a constant companion, and in fact he is a member of our family, wonderful and kindest person , who also refers to his son with. However, I am very worried about the fact that my husband does not hide anything from his son, we still live together (me, my son and my husband), but my husband’s friend often visits and sometimes stays overnight and the son sees that dad is sleeping with his uncle, he treats uncle is much warmer than mom. Dad plans to leave us soon, but he will take the child one way or another, which means that the relationship between dad and uncle will be visible to him in any case... I do not rule out the possibility that sooner or later another man will appear in my life. However, ultimately, I am only interested in one thing, whether such an example will form a pattern of behavior in my son, and how such a situation may generally affect him. psychological health? What line of behavior should my husband and I choose in relation to the child, so as not to traumatize him and not form false stereotypes in him?

Daria

Daria, the model of behavior and family model, of course, is formed under the influence of the parental family and parental relationships. But if you're wondering how this will affect your son's sexual orientation, the answer is no. No examples or models can turn a straight man into a gay man, or vice versa, out of a gay man into a straight man. The best policy for your family, as for any other family in which mom and dad do not plan to be spouses and partners, is honesty, openness and a willingness to answer any question the child has.
In fact, now for a child your family is practically no different from a family in which mom and dad separated and dad started a relationship with another woman. Except that you do not have the typical resentment, jealousy and aggression for such a case. And if you treat your situation this way, then it will become obvious to you how to behave with your child, what and how to explain to him. Regarding the father’s direct sexual orientation - here too best policy honesty. If this is yours close person and the father of your child, it means that you treat his orientation without prejudice and xenophobia, and you will be able to explain to your son in a normal and accessible way what is different people, with different attractions, and this is completely normal.
It is important for a child to understand what is happening around him, and if adults try to embellish or deceive something, the child senses a catch, and this is what worries him. This forces him to figure out the missing details on his own, and this in turn is traumatic, because such guesses are usually more terrible than the truth.
Maria Surygina, psychologist