How to avoid wasting time? Basic principles of time management. Loose your time

I decided to raise perhaps one of the most pressing topics: complaints about life. In this article I will tell you why this is bad, what it threatens, and, of course, how to stop whining and complaining. I would like all readers to honestly answer themselves whether they have such a “sin” and draw conclusions. I hope this publication will help someone.

So, complaints about life today can be found everywhere, and in last years this has probably become a real scourge of our society. There are people who constantly complain about life and its individual aspects in personal conversations, in correspondence, on public pages social networks, on forums, etc. When I open local citywide groups on social networks, I really see that 80% of all messages are various kinds of complaints about life.

Someone was poorly served in a store or at the market, someone was cut off by a reckless driver, someone was dissatisfied with the education and health care systems, someone was dissatisfied with the prices, someone was dissatisfied with stray dogs, etc. And people actively discuss this among themselves and publicly, complain to each other, sympathize. Naturally, this whole atmosphere of complaints further aggravates the existing problems and creates a certain negative background around people that has a detrimental effect not only on the complainers themselves, but also on those around them. And not only on close people, but also on strangers who like to listen/read their complaints.

In the category of complainants in Lately comes in more and more more people in my experience. There is another category - one that is very irritated by complainers. And they, in turn, begin to complain in the same way about those who complain about something else. As a result, exactly the same negative background is created around them. How to deal with all this, how to deal with it, how to stop whining and complaining about life - let's try to figure it out.

Well, look. Life is truly a complicated thing, I don’t think anyone will argue with that. And very often she presents some problems, difficulties, obstacles. Moreover, for all people without exception, perhaps for some – more, for others – less. Although this situation may change at different times, and as a result, there are enough problems for everyone. But at the same time, we constantly hear complaints about life from some people, rarely from others, and never hear from others at all.

Why is this happening? The difference is purely in psychological perception different people the same factors. To summarize, all people’s reactions to problems and difficulties can be reduced to three options:

And why do I need all this! Fate is unfair to me! Neither one is like the other! There is no end to these problems!
We must look for a solution to the problem and solve it as quickly as possible!
Problem? Great! There are so many positive aspects to this!

People with reactions of the first type, which, unfortunately, are the majority, will, of course, always whine and complain. Someone might say: “Well, what's wrong with that? Well, a person feels bad, and he shares his problems, it becomes easier for him. And perhaps even someone will help or tell you how to solve the problem!” Well, first of all, asking advice from those who know is one thing, but complaining is another. And secondly, here’s why whining and complaining about life is bad:

A person who always complains is focused on the negative, creates a negative background around himself and drives himself into depression;
He spends his precious and irreplaceable resource - time on complaints and whining, that is, completely in vain, instead of doing something much more useful, for example, solving a problem;
A person gathers around himself the same whiners and negatively-minded people who will assent and sympathize with him, and, on the contrary, rejects cheerful and positive people who simply become not interested in him;
A person’s emotional degradation occurs (he ceases to experience positive emotions and experiences only negative ones), which negatively affects absolutely all areas of his life: from personal life to work.

That is, in principle there is nothing good in complaining about life. If you see this, write in the comments, just curious.

Well, now I will bring to your attention a number of methods to combat this problem. So, how to stop whining and complaining about life?

Realize that problems are about objectivity. These are simply the realities of life that have always been, are and will be, it is simply impossible to run away and hide from them. Rather, if you don’t have problems, this is something abnormal: perhaps you just don’t see them yet. Everyone always has problems. This is not only for you, and this is an objective reality!
Become aware of your ability to control negative emotions. Whining and complaining about life are not part of your personality, they are emotions that can be controlled, which is what you should strive for.
Attract positive thoughts to yourself. Simply, think about the positive more often. Even when you have a lot of problems. Surely there is someone or something that evokes positive emotions in you: children, a loved one, some memories, some places, music, films, books, etc. Think about these things more often positive themes to dislodge negative thoughts.
Use the “bracelet method.” There is one good rule, with which you can develop any good habit or get rid of harmful ones - . It can be perfectly used to stop whining and complaining about life. And to control execution, you can use any thing, for example, a bracelet. Put the bracelet on left hand and wear it. As soon as you complain about something, change the bracelet to the right one, and so on. Your initial task is to wear the bracelet on one hand for at least 21 days.
Don't hang out with whiners. If your social circle consists of people from whom you constantly hear complaints about life, this does not bode well: you will be the same as them. It is necessary to change your social circle to people who are cheerful and positively thinking. As you communicate with them, your own worldview will change.
Don't look for excuses or those to blame. When a problem arises in your life, you should never look for excuses or blame it on someone else. This is a complete dead end, which will only further exacerbate your negative perception of this life difficulty.
Look for solutions. Instead, you need to immediately, as quickly as possible, analyze the problem and outline ways to solve it. This will be a much more effective line of thought than whining and complaining about life. You might find this article useful:
Take the positive out of a problem. Absolutely every situation has its pros and cons. Most people only notice the problem negative sides, but there are often plenty of advantages there too. At a minimum, this is gaining experience, which is also worth a lot, but usually the advantages are not limited to this.

To make it clearer, I will give a few examples, taking examples related to the financial sector.

Example 1. You were fired from your job. Positive: this is great to finally start looking for a new way to make money that will suit you more than this hated job.

Example 2. You paid 70 rubles, and now the rate has dropped to 60. This situation will perfectly help you learn to control your emotions, not give in to the temptation to sell them at a loss, and wait until the rate rises again to 70 or more.

Example 3. You invested $1,000 in a certain financial company, but it turned out to be trivial and disappeared without returning anything to you. Firstly, it’s great that you only invested 1000, and not your entire capital. Secondly, with this money you bought yourself experience that will teach you to be more careful in choosing assets for investment.

I hope you are inspired by the idea that complaining about life is bad, and if you feel this way, you urgently need to think about how to get rid of it. I hope that my advice will help you with this.

Where are you going, life? Don't pass by...

The most valuable thing that nature has given to man is life!

So why are some so quick to neglect her gift?

I’m not talking now about suicides, but about people who seem to live, but somehow too reluctantly.

Sometimes it is not even clear why these people were born, because they absolutely do not receive any bonuses from their existence, do not fight for a place in the sun, do not do good deeds, do not try.

They don’t seem to do anything evil, but they are of little use.

You just want to grab such people by the shoulders and start shaking them with the words: “Finally, shake yourself up! Stop living in vain!»

You're a pale moth, not a man!

My sister had an employee.

For her lethargy, dullness, lack of position in life, and unwillingness to deal with difficulties, she received the nickname Shadow from the team.

She did not even outwardly look like a person of flesh and blood, let alone a weak-willed character.

Moreover, at first her employees could not really understand why she annoyed them so much.

The lady did not quarrel with anyone, she did her work carefully, she did not spread gossip, if she was asked for something, she did it, if asked, she answered.

But the Shadow was very boring, without a spark, without goals and even without.

As soon as she appeared in the team, the girls decided that she had some kind of grief and tried to help with something.

Only after some time did they begin to understand that such a frozen state was the norm for her.

The more the team watched her, the more irritation she caused.

It seemed that her lack of initiative was infecting everyone around her.

But the last straw that overwhelmed the girls’ patience was the situation with a trip to the sea.

One day, Shadow, during her rare exit from a trance, admitted to her colleagues that she had never been to the sea.

The kind-hearted head of the trade union, Nadya, decided to surprise the unlucky employee and ordered for her a single trip, covered by the team, to a sanatorium on the Black Sea.

The shadow of the gift did not appreciate it and began to fearfully refuse: “How can I go myself, and my husband won’t let me in, especially since he was going to buy a new car - extra money no in the family... and what am I going to do there? - and everything in the same spirit.

Nadya was so upset that the trip, which could make someone else happy, would be lost that in the heat of the moment she uttered a monologue that ended like this: “You are a pale moth, not a person! Stop wasting your life!»

After the scandal, Shadow changed jobs, and the girls breathed a sigh of relief - there were no members of the “Loser” club left in their friendly team.

Taking the steering wheel away from the autopilot

The shadow cannot be saved; it has chosen its life model and is not going to change itself.

I really want to hope that there are no such insects among my readers, but if you waste at least 10% of your life, then be sure to read the article to the end! 🙂

Actually stop wasting your life quite simple - you just need to get out of the somnambulistic state, set yourself specific goals and start implementing them.

Come on, put aside the chorus of whiners and your pathetic hit: “This is not easy at all!”

I'll give you some useful tips, but whether or not it depends only on you.

Dream.

I never tire of repeating that thoughts are material.

If you draw exclusively positive pictures in your head, then some of them will definitely come true.

Write to-do lists.

Visualization on paper helps the abstract desire become more material.

Start keeping your success diary!

Enjoy everything you do.

Try to love even work or household chores that are unpleasant for you.

Don't let your wishes die on a piece of paper.
Move from intentions to actions.

Set specific goals:

I will be the director, I will go to Spain, etc.

General phrases: “I want to be rich and happy” never lead to success.

Don't try to break through a blank stone wall with your forehead.

If you are not valued at your current job, then you should not wait 20 years for this to happen.
Find a boss who will appreciate your skills.

Don't turn back at the first setbacks.

Sometimes life sends tests to test whether a person is worthy of success or not.

Don't disappoint her.

Try to give your best every day.

Forget the phrase “I’ll do it tomorrow!”

Reward yourself for success.

Pamper yourself with gifts sometimes.

Stop complaining about failures.

See, in the end, that life provides many opportunities for fulfillment, and ignoring them is a real crime.

I hope after watching it, you will stop wasting your time and

you will start moving your butt (sorry, but it’s true)

Man is truly a miracle of nature, who has the power to become the master of his destiny and take from it what he deserves.

But often we treat the life given to us as a rehearsal, they say, I still have time to become rich and successful.

Meanwhile, years and decades fly by, old age creeps up unnoticed, and we begin to realize with horror that we are left standing at the starting line.

Stop wasting your precious life and run to conquer Olympus.

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Everyone has problems and troubles, there is dissatisfaction with the existing situation. But some quickly solve all this and move on towards their goals, while others begin to whine and complain about life. Moreover, the vast majority of them are observed. In this article, we will look at why such behavior is unacceptable, where it can lead a person, and how to radically change the situation to stop complaining.

Now complaints about life and the current situation have become the scourge of society - people do it all on the Internet, real life, in personal blogs and on social networking pages. It has already become ours national problem– they received bad service in the store, the boss was rude and demanded an account, prices are rising, the government is deceiving, and so on. People publicly complain to each other, creating a negative emotional background around themselves, which affects those around them.

It has long been noticed that in those families where there is constant whining and complaints about life, there is no joy, even if everything seems fine, there is good job, additional income, normal relationships, etc. Someone will say, so what’s wrong if a person feels much better after this, he spoke out about his problems? Let's understand further.

Whining and complaining is destructive and dangerous!

Such individuals are constantly focused on the bad, which creates an aura of negativity around themselves and drives them into a depressed state.
A person spends a lot of time on, but he can be used to solve the problem that has arisen and radically change the situation.
The same whiners and complainers begin to concentrate around such a person, which pushes away positive, successful and purposeful people.
We begin to degrade emotionally. Positive emotions every day there are fewer and fewer negative ones, and more and more negative ones. This has a bad effect on any area of his life - from work to family.

From all of the above, it follows that in whining and complaints one cannot find constructive and positive aspects for development, therefore, one should remove them from one’s life.

Methods for solving problems with complaints about life

You can control the situation yourself negative thoughts. These are just emotions that need to be turned off. For this you can use meditation and various techniques auto-training.
Problems are good. Growth is only possible through problems. Your standard of living determines only the level of problems with which you can comfortably exist. There are no people without problems.
Attract positivity. Even when it seems that everything in your life is going upside down, you need to try to focus on the positive. Remember what you love, what attracts you and try to distract yourself.
Use during, which can kill negative thinking.
Stop hanging out with whiners. They convey all their negativity to you, so limit this circle of communication. If this cannot be done (close relatives), then reduce it to a minimum.
Look for ways to solve any problem, rather than discussing it with other people.
Extract from any difficult situations pros. If you get sick, this is an opportunity to reconsider your lifestyle and change it. I was fired from my job - no problem, I’ll start my own business. If my partners deceived me, I will find others on more favorable terms.

Think about the fact that whining and complaining is very bad, such behavior only makes things worse and does not bring anything positive. You need to stop doing this, tune in to the positive, and then the situation will definitely change for the better.

Victoria Sitnikova

Writes about goals, success, motivation and sales.

We constantly talk about the need to think through everything, calculate everything, but in the end we do nothing. Many doubts arise, we move away from the goal that was originally, or we lower the bar to a minimum. It often happens that we suddenly made up our minds, but it’s too late and that very opportunity to achieve success has been missed.

What constantly holds us back from great achievements? Whining, my friends! If something doesn’t work out for us or we are dissatisfied with the result, we constantly find the reason in the outside world, blaming other people, circumstances, lack of motivation for our own failure. Although by and large no one is to blame for it except us. We do not take responsibility and therefore become followers in a situation where we should be a leader.

By taking responsibility, we can control the outcome.

American multimillionaire motivational and sales coach Grant Cardone has become a true leader not only in business, but also in life and continues to encourage people around the world to achieve ambitious goals. Let's see what he advises.

1. Have a “Yes I Can” Perspective

Let's start with the fact that leaders always follow the “Yes, I can” attitude. They are 100% confident that the result is not only achievable, but real even under the most difficult circumstances. This attitude determines how ready you are to achieve your goal and puts everything in its place. People with the “Yes, I can” attitude constantly say: “Let’s figure it out,” “We can do this,” “Let’s do this,” and thereby claim that anything is possible. Strive for a level where “Yes, I can” becomes commonplace and everything else is unacceptable.

2. Dedicate yourself completely to your business.

This distinguishing feature for real successful people. After all, in life we constantly only try, but do not put maximum effort into the matter, because we are not sure that we will achieve the desired result. There are too many people now who do not complete their work and try to do something else.

To devote yourself completely to a task means choosing a path and telling yourself: “There is no turning back.”

It's like jumping into water: there's no chance of coming out dry.

3. Take big action

Now let's talk about the actions we take to achieve our goals. Most people fail because they don't put in enough effort to achieve their goal. And all because they incorrectly assess the scale of necessary actions.

Taking big action is the only way to achieve your goals, says Grant Cardon. They bring much greater results than you expect. Take, for example, the work of an artist. If he paints one picture and brings it to only one gallery, then the likelihood of selling it is not very high. But if an artist paints 10 paintings and takes them all to 10 galleries, then the likelihood that he will sell at least one (and most likely, more than one) is much greater than in the first case.

When you start acting on a large scale, you will see how your mood, your goal and results will change.

Before we begin to achieve a goal, we usually think about why we might not achieve it. And then a list of reasons appears. This is the wrong approach. As soon as we stop thinking about failure and fully devote ourselves to the goal, we will act on a large scale - we will get closer to what we want.

How to stop complaining about life and get rid of whining?

After all, if this happens in your life, it means that it seems to you that there is something very important and necessary for you missing. But is it?

They say that it is not the one who has a lot who is rich, but the one who has enough.

And here we are faced with the fact that we ourselves do not know very often: “What is enough for us?” and because of the feeling of internal deficiency, we continue to complain about life.

Let's look at this issue today. I suggest you first look at the reasons.

Why do people start whining and complaining?

Great need for love and attention

Such people feel an acute lack of attention, ask a lot of questions and need even more clarification. They talk a lot about themselves, about their experiences, about the events that happen to them. And of course, they complain, complain, complain….

Moreover, they are all bad or not good enough. And it is imperative that everyone around look at this person and say in unison: you are the best, the most wonderful, etc.

It's not about feeling self-important. This is about the fact that when I have so little love inside and it’s so empty and painful, that it’s possible to somehow drown out this pain and be filled only when I talk about myself and someone listens to me and gives me sympathy and love.

These people never have enough. And letting go of one “source of love and attention” they go to complain to another.

Helping solve the problems of these people is pointless and thankless. And to convince of something too.
After all, if there is nothing to complain about, then there will be no source of attention and support. And somehow you have to live with this emptiness

Is it difficult to relate this to yourself? Try:

You find it difficult to be alone with yourself
- you cannot let go of your children and loved ones into their independent lives
- if someone didn’t report to you, didn’t ask about your well-being, etc., you feel deprived and offended
- if someone starts to solve your problems, it always seems to you that he is doing it wrong or not well enough
- it is important for you to talk more rather than listen to others
- the internal state of an eternal victim and a little useless person

It is difficult to give an unambiguous recipe on what to do with this. After all, we are all very individual.

But there is something you can do for yourself. after finishing reading this article .

Safety factor violation

From such people are different scary stories about new strains of viruses, terrorist groups, climate warming and spoiled water and air.

It is difficult to be around such people, and after communicating with them, anxiety remains inside: what if life is really dangerous?

Maybe this is about you? And if yes, then you can object to me that you cannot live in pink glasses and not notice everything that happens around. You need to see and know the dangers and be prepared for them.

It is very difficult to restore the factor of internal security within a person, especially if he has some kind of negative past experience or, perhaps, it has been the activation of adopted feelings from the ancestral system.

And with this, of course, it is better to work with a specialist.

But you can try to do something on your own (below is an exercise on how to stop complaining about life).

Heightened sense of injustice

“They stole, robbed, it’s good for her, he’s just lucky, of course, she has such a dad/grandmother/husband/neighbor (underline the correct one)” - these motives underlie the complaints and whining about life among such people.
Inside such a person, there is an imbalance in the “take-give” balance and a strongly activated sense of justice, next to which there is aggression.

Moreover, these people do not know “what is right”, “how is fair”, but they know that what is happening on this moment– not true.

Their perception of the value of contribution to events and an adequate assessment of reality is impaired.
For example:

“She looks good: she was born about eighty meters tall, her legs are as big as her ears, her breasts are the third size, and she’s also blonde. Lucky to receive this from mom and dad! That's why her man is rich. And I... one and a half meters, who needs such a big girl..." (there may be weight, height, eye color, hair, legs, breast size and shape, etc.: everyone has their own set of "unfair" places)

And here we lose sight of the fact that to maintain this form you need to spend 4-8 hours a week on physical exercise, diet, manicure, pedicure, body, face, hair care. This is a lot of work and a lot of time!

And when you ask such a complainant: “Have you made a face mask lately?” or “What do you eat after six?”, then in response you again hear complaints about how difficult and unfair life is.

Not the desire to do something, devaluing the contribution of the person who has it, but the demand for a “fair” attitude of life towards oneself. How can we imagine justice in this case?

And besides, there is a break from reality: not all blondes are happy and married, not all long-legged women are happy with their companions, not all blue-eyed women have rich men. After all, very often the opposite happens. But it is difficult and difficult to admit this fact.

Is not full list reasons why people complain about life. But let's leave it at that for now. After all, the main thing is not to find out the reason, but to change...

How to stop complaining about life?

First, look at your life from a different angle and determine that you are enough.

Make time for a small but very important exercise.

Part 1 Make a list of what is not in your life and you DO NOT want it to be.

For example

I don't have earthquakes in my life
There are no rain showers
I don't have the plague
I have no problems with the tax authorities
I don't have a problem with drugs
I have no sexually transmitted diseases
I'm not homeless
I am not hungry (meaning you have enough money for food)
Etc….

You need to write a list of 50 items. General aspects will come first, and then your real fears will appear, what you are really afraid of. And here the second column will help you.

For example
I have no injuries after accidents - I don’t have to talk on the phone while driving, but buy a headset
I have no diabetes mellitus– I can get tested to be sure and learn about prevention in order to avoid this and start doing it
Etc.
You will immediately see how you feel lighter and freer!
But! At least 50 points are important.
And already AFTER Once you write this list, you can proceed to the next one.

Part 2 What do I have and how can I get it? more joy from this

It is very important (!!!) to fill out the second column at once.

I have health - I can listen to my body every morning, feel that everything is fine and thank it for it.

I have children - I can plan three hours every weekend for time together (to go somewhere, do something).

I have a place to live - every time I cross the threshold, I can fixate a little on the fact that I am at home and be happy about it.

This list should be 100 items long. It is necessary.

You don't have to do the whole exercise in one day. But it is important to do the first part first, then the second. And in the specified volume.

And you will see how your life will sparkle with new colors.

It will be wonderful if you begin to purposefully implement something from the second column of the second list in life.

But even if you don’t set such a goal for yourself, then all the same, you have already formed something in your mind. And one day you will be surprised to discover that in the morning you stroke your body with a feeling of quiet joy, and when you cross the threshold of the apartment, you are filled with warmth and comfort and that you and your children have something to do together and they have become closer to you.

Once a month, if necessary, you can re-read these lists and add to them.
And life will become easy and joyful.

And the question “How to stop whining and complaining about life” will disappear by itself.

After all, you will see that what you already have in your life is already enough to live with joy!

Successful practices to you!

PS In the format of “Meetings in the Woman’s Workshop”, a Film Training was held based on the film “The Story of Us”.

I want to share with you one of the interesting fragments.

I will be glad to see everyone at the next open meetings!