The value of any life largely correlates with the fact that it ends sooner or later. According to Orthodox tradition, after the funeral the soul of the deceased awaits a transition to another world. It is believed that the future fate of a person depends not only on the acts he committed during his lifetime, but also on how his relatives and friends remember him. Special significance for self-determination of the soul in the afterlife there are 9 and 40 days after death. So how should they be celebrated?

General rules for funerals

Orthodox Christians organize funerals to pay tribute to a deceased relative. People remember the good deeds done by a person during his lifetime, celebrate him positive qualities. At a wake, you should never make a scandal, argue or quarrel. Negative emotions relatives and friends, as they say, can complicate the path of the soul of the deceased to a better world.

For the same reason, sobs, despair and loud regrets about the departure of a loved one are inappropriate. In the Orthodox tradition, death is considered an inevitable and natural outcome of life; it is not a tragedy at all. Believers believe that to a good person There is no need to be afraid of God's judgment. Therefore, at a wake it is customary to behave calmly, restrainedly and kindly.

A joint meal brings together relatives, friends and colleagues of the deceased. It is not allowed to send out invitations to funerals. It is believed that everyone to whom this is important should inquire about the place and time of this event themselves. But it is not forbidden to casually mention in a conversation the efforts that relatives are busy with regarding the organization of a funeral meal. This will tell the person that he should come if he himself considers it necessary to attend this event.

Despite Russian table traditions, Orthodox funerals do not involve the consumption of alcoholic beverages. Although this rule is often violated, because the popular ideas about a worthy send-off of the deceased to another world in this matter do not coincide with religious canons. But in any case, the wake should not turn into a banal drinking session, because this is a sacred event, and not a reason for fun and dancing.

As a rule, it is customary to dress modestly at a wake, in dark-colored clothing. Scarves are required for women. If the deceased was an elderly person, then the relatives of the deceased mourn for 40 days from the moment of his death. Young people who tragically passed away - husbands, wives, children - are mourned for up to 1 year, all this time adhering to dark tones in clothing.

9 days - the ordeal of the soul begins

According to religious canons, on the ninth day after death, the so-called ordeal of the soul begins, when it overcomes various obstacles created by sins. Angels help the deceased in this. As a result, the good deeds a person has done during his lifetime must outweigh his bad deeds.

The funeral, organized on the 9th day, is designed to help the soul of the deceased overcome all obstacles on the way to eternal life. Therefore, on this date, relatives order a funeral prayer service in the church, light candles in front of the icons and read prayers so that the Almighty will accept the soul of the deceased into His Kingdom. And in the house you can light a lamp in memory of the departed person.

On this day, relatives and everyone who feels the need to visit the grave and bring flowers there. It is believed that for a person whose soul has begun the stage of repentance and cleansing from sins, it is important how the living remember him and whether they pray for him.

Kutia is an obligatory dish during a funeral meal. This is porridge, which is prepared from whole wheat grains (less often from barley, rice or other cereals) with the addition of nuts, raisins or other sweets, the dish is poured with honey or honey syrup. As a rule, kutya is served at the very beginning of the wake.

The list of treats offered to guests on day 9 varies depending on the region of Russia. But there are also general points. Immediately after kutya, the first dish is served - soup or cabbage soup. The second can be meat or lean, it all depends on what time the commemoration occurred. In addition, fish dishes and jelly are often on the table. And the meal ends with pancakes or pancakes.

Drinks that are traditionally drunk at funerals include compote, kvass and jelly. The owners can also prepare various porridges, pies, cabbage rolls, stuffed peppers, vegetable salads. In addition, there are usually apples and other fruits on the table.

On the 9th day after the death of a relative, it is customary to give alms to people in churches and cemeteries with a request to pray for the repose of the soul of the deceased. Treats left over from the wake are also distributed.

40 days - final goodbye

Very important milestone in farewell to the deceased are 40 days after his death. It is at this time that the human soul is believed to finally leave our mortal world. For the Orthodox this is significant date, which separates earthly life from eternal.

After 40 days, the soul can last time to visit places that are important to her, to see relatives and friends, and then in Heaven she is accepted final decision about the further fate of the deceased. Therefore, these commemorations are very important, because kind words what people said about the deceased will definitely be taken into account by the High Court.

You should definitely order this day funeral service in church, pray for the soul of the deceased. During the funeral meal, it is forbidden not only to consume alcoholic drinks, but also sing songs and have fun. The meal, as a rule, differs little from a wake for 9 days, except that instead of the first course, a variety of dishes are served. different salads. Kutya and rich pancakes or pancakes are obligatory dishes of this meal.

At the table for 40 days, it is customary to remember not only the deceased, but also other relatives who have left the world of the living in the foreseeable past. Guests take turns delivering funeral speeches. And the person who is given the floor must stand up. Then the deceased should be honored with a minute of silence.

For 40 days, the things of the deceased should be distributed to those who need them. At the same time, people are asked to remember the deceased with a kind word. Relatives keep only photographs and other items that are valuable as a memory of a loved one. If no one took one of the deceased’s things, then it should not be thrown away, but should be taken to a temple or given to charity.

The death of a loved one is grief and heartache for relatives. According to the Christian religion, the fortieth day is the most important. At this time, the soul finally leaves the earth and finds itself at the court of God, where its further fate is decided. Help the soul of a loved one find peace in the next world with a wake and sincere prayers.

How to remember 40 days after death - visiting the grave

On the fortieth day, go to the grave of the deceased person to say goodbye to him. This is an obligatory part of the funeral ritual. Rules for visiting the cemetery:

• remove wreaths placed on the grave after the funeral. Burn or take to the trash container;
• place a pair of flowers on the grave;
• light a candle or lamp;
• pray for the soul of the deceased, then be silent and remember everything good points from his life.

You cannot have a meal at the cemetery on the 40th day with alcohol and noisy conversations. Organize a funeral dinner at home or in a cafe. Do not place a glass of vodka on the grave and do not pour alcohol there. Sweets and cookies are often placed on the grave. This is voluntary, but it is best to replace sweets with a plate of kutya, which you leave near the grave. Distribute cookies with sweets to those present at the cemetery and to the poor. Do not have noisy conversations, everything should go calmly and peacefully.

How to remember 40 days after death - visiting a temple

On the fortieth day, be sure to go to church and order a memorial service. This is the most best help the soul of a deceased relative. Please note that a memorial service is ordered only for a deceased person who was baptized. Rules for commemoration in church:

• Prepare food at home that you will place on the funeral table in the temple. This is alms in honor of the deceased. Among the products you can carry cookies, sweets, flour, sugar and various cereals, fruits, vegetable oil and red wine. Don’t even think about carrying sausage and other meat products;
• write the name of the deceased in the note “On repose.” Notes are given out at the church shop. Under his name, write the names of other deceased baptized relatives and friends;
• give the note to the church shop;
• light a candle for the deceased. At the moment of its installation, pray for him and ask the Lord to forgive all his sins;
• do not leave the church when the priest is serving a memorial service. Stand with the candle until it runs out and pray from the bottom of your heart for your deceased relative.

You can order a memorial service at the cemetery. Discuss in advance with the priest in the temple when it will be held. It’s good if after the funeral you immediately order magpie from the church. They will pray for the deceased from the day of his death until the fortieth day.

How to remember 40 days after death - memorial dinner

The purpose of the memorial dinner on the 40th day is to remember the deceased person and pray for his repose. Call all the people to whom the deceased was dear. Don't try to prepare a lot of delicacies. Give preference to simple dishes. At the funeral dinner it is forbidden to sing songs, have fun and drink a lot of alcohol. Vodka is inappropriate here, put light wine on the table. Rules for organizing a funeral dinner:

• organize a wake on the 40th day at home or in a cafe;
• be sure to put on the table kutya made from rice or millet, rich pancakes and kanun - small cookies spread with honey on top;
• prepare pies with different fillings;
• Include fish dishes, noodle soup, stuffed peppers, cutlets, goulash, Olivier salad or herring under a fur coat, as well as various vegetable salads in the memorial dinner menu. The cafe will offer you a funeral menu;
• Before starting lunch, read the Lord's Prayer.

The main thing in a wake is not a discussion of the deceased and other people at the table, but the unification of those people who can remember the deceased person with a good word.

How to remember 40 days after death - what to give to people

On the 40th day, give people candies, cookies and pies to remember the deceased. Go through the deceased's belongings and distribute them to people in need. Ask them to pray for the soul of the deceased. This is your personal business, you can leave the things that are dear to you. If there are things left that no one needs, take them to the temple, where they will be given to the poor. But, under no circumstances throw anything away.

Don’t forget about the dead and then pray for them, light candles for their repose in the church, show mercy to your neighbors, clean the grave. The good memory of a person who has passed on to another world will remain in your heart forever.

On the third day, according to tradition, a funeral takes place. If a person was Orthodox, then a funeral service is a mandatory rite. The body (usually in the morning) is taken to the temple, where prayers are read over it. Sometimes the funeral service is held at home, in a morgue or in a cemetery.

In some cases, a funeral service may be held in absentia. For example, if the body was not found, drowned, burned, that is, if relatives do not have the opportunity to bring the deceased to the temple.

Also, an absentee funeral service is performed after the burial, if for some reason the deceased was not given a funeral service during the funeral.

To perform an in-person funeral service on the day of the funeral you need to go to the church with a death certificate. The priest gives the praying relative a scroll of paper with the text of the prayer of permission, a whisk and a bag of earth. The prayer is placed in right hand, a whisk is placed on the forehead of the deceased, and the earth is sprinkled crosswise from the right shoulder to the left and from the head to the feet.

If the funeral service takes place after the funeral, then the prayer and aureole should be buried in the grave mound, and the earth should also be distributed crosswise over the grave. If the grave is very far away or if its location is unknown, the prayer along with the aureole is burned, and any nearby grave with an Orthodox cross is sprinkled with earth.

After the funeral service, the relatives go to the cemetery, where the funeral itself takes place. Relatives and friends say goodbye to the deceased, lay flowers and wreaths on the grave, and Orthodox Christians read the litiya. At the end of the day, it is customary to set a large table for all those who loved the deceased. On this day, close people are given the opportunity to remember all the good things about the deceased, pray for him and support relatives in this difficult moment.

The funeral is announced either in person (by telephone) or by means of a memorial card. In the first days after death, a magpie is usually ordered in the church, where they will pray for the soul for 40 days. At the same time, during these 40 days they themselves pray at home, in the cemetery and, if possible, go to church.

After coming from the cemetery Before sitting down at the funeral table, everyone washes their hands. They sit down in this order: first the head of the family, then the mother, close relatives, friends, acquaintances. Also, one place is allocated to the deceased, and his portrait with a mourning ribbon is placed in this place. Often a plate with a knife, fork and the deceased’s favorite dish is placed with the portrait. Before starting the meal, everyone must say a prayer to themselves and taste a spoonful of kutya (sweet porridge). After the meal, guests turn to the portrait of the deceased, thanking him and wishing him the kingdom of heaven.

Even if a person was born late in the evening (before 00-00), the countdown of 9 days begins from the date of death. For example, if a person died on the 8th, then the 9th day will occur on the 16th.

What does the soul do 40 days after death according to the church?

According to Christian canons, days 3-9 and 40 after death are very important. It is believed that in the period from 3 to 9 days, the soul is able to see and hear our world. However, this opportunity is lost over time; every day the soul moves further and further away from physical world. These days are special milestones or levels to which the soul reaches.

What happens on the 3rd day after death?(1-3 days). These days the soul says goodbye to this world, to family and friends. It is believed that at this time the soul visits everyone who is dear to it, says goodbye to them, it is free and can travel around our world. Many people note that these days they feel the presence of the deceased nearby.

Soul on the 9th day after death(3-9 days). The soul is in paradise, where it sees what benefits can be prepared for it.

What happens to the soul 40 days after death?(9-40 days). Soul abuse. Maternity is 12 fasts that the soul must go through in order to get to heaven. Demons and angels sit at every post. Angels oppose demons and point out the opposite good deeds that the soul has performed. Each fast symbolizes a person's sins. If there are more good deeds for this sin than evil ones, then the soul moves on to the next abuse. Orthodox believe that loved ones, through prayer, can have a great influence on the intercession of saints.

A wake is not a meeting of relatives, it is a prayer from loved ones so that the soul can overcome abuse. Gathering on days 9 and 40, relatives give their voice in prayer that they remember, honor traditions, ask God and higher powers to be more merciful to their souls.

How to spend the ninth day according to all church canons? After visiting the temple and the services held there, relatives go to the cemetery where they read the lithium. And in the evening there is a wake. It must be remembered that day 9 is also called “uninvited”. On this day, close people come who want pure heart help the soul by praying for it. At the table you cannot drink alcohol, have fun, sing songs, or use foul language. It is good to remember the best moments from the life of the deceased. It is not necessary for the table to be rich, on the contrary, Lenten table, will allow those who come to be less distracted and feel unity. If the wake falls on Lent on a weekday, it is customary to postpone them to the next Saturday or Sunday.

The funeral begins with prayer"Our Father." A classic dish on the table is kutia. It is illuminated in the church in the morning before they go to the cemetery, or it can be sprinkled with holy water. On funeral days, it is customary to order a memorial service for the deceased in the church shop. To do this, you will need to submit a note with your name. It is very good if loved ones have the opportunity to visit the grave on memorial days. At this time, they usually clean up, light a candle, remain silent and mentally communicate with the deceased. If possible, a priest is invited to read the litany. If this is not possible, you can read the prayer yourself. In Orthodoxy, it is considered bad form to arrange a wake right in the cemetery, leave vodka and bread at the grave, and generally drink alcohol on such important and difficult days for the soul of the deceased.

What do you do 40 days after death?

Funerals on the 40th day after death are considered very important, because at this time, according to the Orthodox beliefs, decisions are made further fate souls and the place where the soul will be until the Last Judgment is determined. In order for the saints to have mercy and tip the scales in favor of the soul, a wake is also held on the 40th day. They are similar to the wake of the 9th day of death. These days it is customary to especially pray for the souls of the departed.

After the morning service, relatives also go to the cemetery to say goodbye to the deceased and read the litiya. At this time, wilted wreaths are removed.

After visiting the cemetery, only the closest ones, those who want to come, gather on the 40th day of the funeral. According to tradition, at this time Kutya is served (lit in the morning in the church) and everyone should try a spoonful before starting other dishes. Everyone who gathered on this day came to pray and honor the memory of the deceased, and therefore a modest or fast table is usually set.

If there is a fast on this day, it is observed. According to the sacred canons, alcohol is strictly prohibited, because this is not a festive feast and it will not contribute to prayers in any way. They usually dress strictly, without unnecessary pretentiousness, simply and comfortably. However, the main thing remains the state of mind, desire and faith that your prayers will be heard higher powers and help the deceased in the next world. It’s good to visit the grave of the deceased on the 40th day. You can take a candle with you to pray and flowers that the deceased loved, their number should be even.

On the 40th day, it is customary to order a magpie for a year in the church, where they will pray for the soul of the deceased all this time. The prayers of loved ones, which can be read at home, in church and in the cemetery, also remain important. All days from 1 to 40 are considered days of mourning. These days, it is considered good form to refrain from any sin, to refuse social events, celebrations and idle pastime. It is believed that in this way you are making a sacrifice, which will be counted in the name of the deceased.

Commemorating the deceased is a kind of mission. This is necessary, but it is important that the person commemorates without coercion, according to at will. They do this in memory of a loved one who is no longer around. But he forever remains in the hearts of people who remember him.

The 3rd, 9th and 40th days are especially emphasized in the conduct of memorial events, taking the day of death as the 1st day of counting. On these days, the commemoration of the deceased is considered sanctified by church customs and corresponds to Christian teachings about the state of the soul beyond the threshold of death.

Funeral service on the 3rd day after death

The funeral takes place in memory of the miraculous resurrection of Jesus Christ on the third day and in honor of the image of the Holy Trinity. It is believed that for the first two days the soul remains on earth, is close to its relatives, visits places dear to it, accompanied by an Angel, and on the third day it ascends to heaven and appears before God.

Funeral for 9 days

Funerals on this day are held in honor of nine angelic ranks who can apply for pardon for the deceased. When a soul, accompanied by an Angel, enters heaven, then until the ninth day it is shown afterlife. And on the ninth day, with fear and trembling, the soul again appears before the Lord for worship. Prayers and remembrance on day 9 will help her pass this test with dignity.

Funeral for 40 days

On this day the soul ascends to worship the Lord for the third time. In the period from the ninth to the fortieth day, she recognizes the sins she has committed and goes through ordeals. Angels accompany the soul to Hell, where it can see the suffering and torment of unrepentant sinners.

On the fortieth day, her fate should be decided: in accordance with the spiritual state of the deceased and his earthly affairs. Prayers and remembrance on this day can atone for the sins of the deceased. The choice of the fortieth day for special commemoration was significantly influenced by the fact that Jesus Christ, after his resurrection, ascended to Heaven precisely on the fortieth day.

It is advisable to order a memorial service in the church on each of these memorial days.

Features of commemorating the dead:

1. You can invite everyone present at the funeral to the wake on the third day. On this day, the funeral meal is traditionally held immediately after.
2. Friends and close relatives of the deceased are often invited to the wake on the ninth day.
3. On the fortieth day, everyone comes to remember the deceased. It is not necessary to hold a wake in the home of the deceased. The place is chosen by relatives at will.

Commemoration on the anniversary of death

The mourning date should be reported only to those people whom the family of the deceased wishes to see at the funeral. The closest people should come - relatives and friends of the deceased. On the anniversary of your death, it is advisable to go to the cemetery. After visiting the grave, all those present are invited to a memorial lunch.

Memorial days are held at the discretion of the family of the deceased. It is inappropriate to discuss the correct organization of a wake.

Do I need to go to church for a funeral?

Funerals for 3, 9, 40 days, as well as for a year after death Orthodox Christians involve holding church services. Coming to the temple, relatives and friends of the deceased light candles, organize memorial services and read prayers.

If you wish, you can do all this not only on memorial days, but also on ordinary days. You can visit church, light a candle and pray if feelings about the deceased come over you. You can also visit the temple and pray on the birthday of the deceased .

If in memorial days If you don’t have the opportunity to go to church, you can pray at home.

On memorial days you need to be in a good mood. Don't hold a grudge against anyone, especially the dead. These days, it is customary to treat funeral dishes to the people around you - colleagues, neighbors, friends. And also give alms.

Memorial days after the funeral (video)

40 days after death - how to remember the deceased, what traditions are associated with this day... People believe that this memorial day is important for human soul, at this time the spirit of the deceased appears before the Lord for the third time and finds out where he will be until the Last Judgment.

In the article:

40 days after death - as the Orthodox remember

Death related person- grief for relatives and friends. If you believe the Christian religion, then the 40th day is considered one of the most significant among funeral days (Orthodox tradition). However, not everyone knows how to behave on such a day.

It is important to realize that the living are able to help the deceased pass painlessly into another world, cleanse himself, and find peace and harmony. This is achieved.

You will help the deceased to a loved one withstand God's judgment if on this day you speak kind words about him, remember his best deeds and pray. You can do this yourself or call a priest to the funeral.

In Orthodoxy, family members, friends, and acquaintances of the deceased gather for a meal. There is an opinion that what more people on the 40th day he will say a prayer, remember the deceased, the better the soul will be.

An important part of the funeral rite is. Be sure to bring flowers and candles with you. Remember, it's taken double number flowers laid on the grave. This way you show respect to the deceased.

When you arrive at the cemetery, be sure to light a candle and pray for the repose of your soul. Stand by the grave, remember all the good moments that you associate with this individual; it is forbidden to talk loudly or discuss vigorously. A quiet atmosphere of peace and tranquility is required.

You can also remember him in the temple. For this purpose, a liturgy is ordered for the salvation of the soul. Important: it can be ordered by those who were baptized in Orthodox Church. Family members light candles for the deceased. At the moment when you set it on fire, be sure to pray for the repose of the soul and ask that the person be forgiven all sins: voluntary and unintentional.

In Orthodoxy, it is forbidden to hold a funeral before the appointed date. However, if it is impossible to carry out the ritual correctly for this period, then on the next Saturday after 40 days, distribute alms to the poor.

Remember, a wake is not a feast with sophisticated dishes, arranged to meet friends. On such a day, one should remember the deceased, pray for him, and say “thank you” for all the good that the person has done.

Need to prepare simple dishes, limit alcohol intake. It is believed that there should be more on the table Lenten dishes. Be sure to prepare kutya. This porridge with honey, nuts and raisins turns out to be a symbol of the rebirth of the soul. They often make pancakes, cabbage soup, and various porridges.

If the memorial day coincides with fasting, then pork, beef, and lamb must be replaced with fish.

If you want to give a speech about the deceased, then remember that initially the word is given to children/brothers, sisters/parents, then to close friends, acquaintances - last. The speech always ends with a promise to remember the deceased person.

Where is the soul of the deceased until 40 days

Christian believers believe that the spirit of a deceased individual overcomes up to 40 days long haul. From the day of her death until the 3rd day, she is close to her family, close and dear people, and moves anywhere.

Religious people are sure that from 3 to 40 the human spirit visits Hell and Heaven. Throughout this entire period, it is still unknown where the soul will end up. The spirit will have to endure ordeals and tortures, which turn out to be the embodiment of sinful passions, familiar to all people.

After which the demons give a list of human misdeeds, the angels provide a list of good deeds. does not seem canonical and is not included in the main doctrinal code of Orthodoxy.

According to the teachings of Christians, after the soul of the deceased has seen Hell and Heaven, it appears for the third time before the Almighty. It is at such a moment that fate must be decided. Wherever the soul goes, it will remain until the Last Judgment.

Until this moment, she had already imagined the delights of Paradise, realized whether she was really worthy or unworthy to stay there. She saw all the horrors of Hell and must completely repent and pray to God for mercy. Therefore, the Orthodox regard the 40th day as a decisive moment.

To support a deceased relative, you should pray fervently. This will help influence the verdict of the Almighty regarding the soul. If a person is sent to Hell, this does not indicate that all is lost for him. The final fate of mortals will be decided during the Last Judgment, and fervent prayer will help change the verdict of the Lord.

In such a situation, if a soul is sent to Paradise, then with fervent prayer the relatives will thank the Almighty for the grace shown. The number 40 is symbolic in Christianity. It is not surprising that the commemoration of the deceased occurs on the 40th day.

For exactly the same number of days they mourned the forefather Jacob and the prophet Moses. After a 40-day fast on Mount Sinai, Moses received the tablets of the Covenant from the Almighty, during which period the prophet Elijah reached Mount Horeb.

40 days after death - traditions of different religions

Funerals on the 40th day are important in Orthodoxy.
Muslims a meal in memory of the deceased is held on the 40th day after death. In this religion, the formal side of the ritual is significant. Men and women taking part in the ritual commemorate the deceased person not in the same room, but in different ones. In some cases, men take part in the ritual.

Sweet tea is placed on the table first, followed by pilaf. Many people believe that people shouldn’t talk to each other during meals; they should pray fervently. In Islam it is not customary to cry for the deceased. On this day it is necessary to humble grief. If you can’t restrain yourself, you need to do it as quietly as possible.

The funeral itself takes place in fast pace, after them everyone goes to the cemetery. In the period from 3 to 40 days, you can organize charity meals for the disadvantaged, the poor, and distribute dishes to them.

At the same time, the relatives themselves are prohibited from eating a lot and preparing luxurious dishes for those who remember them. But every Thursday until the 40th day, remember the deceased, set the table, drink tea with halva prepared according to the recipe.

In Judaism people don't turn a meal into a feast. During the first week it is forbidden to set large tables. As soon as the person is buried, all the mourners' loved ones (who want to pay tribute to the deceased) eat a modest meal.

It includes eggs, beans, lentils, and some bread. During funerals, it is not customary to eat meat or drink alcohol. Another feature is that the family of the deceased person does not prepare a large funeral meal.