Good girls like bad boys. Do girls really like "bad boys"? How to explain a girl's choice

Yesterday I talked with an old acquaintance, and he asked me a question that has been asked more than once: why do girls like bad boys? Why do you always prefer the “bad guys”, but don’t value the good ones?

It was strange to ask such a question to me, a girl who is deeply married to a very nice guy. But I knew that he was not talking to me, but to his pain: two girls had already left him for those who could really be called “bad guys.”

And I know that this is not only his problem, not only his pain and not only his - attention! – delusion .

Let me explain why girls seem to prefer bad boys over good ones.

Young people! I will say right away that I do not intend to offend anyone with this article. My only goal is to make you think, if you are haunted by this problem: shouldn’t I change something about myself?

Girls who for some reason choose the bad ones: this is also a reason for you to think: is this what I really want and have I mixed up anything?

Well, let's go.

I did that too

This is what one of my unsuccessful fans thought when we were 10 years younger. He was all a gentleman and a knight, but I did not reciprocate his feelings and made friends with the guys for a slightly different purpose.

“Here is a goat!” - you might think without understanding the situation. But we are here just to figure it out.

And the first thing that is very important to understand:

Gentlemanship and chivalry are not in the first place for girls when choosing a life partner. Far from being the last, but not the first either. And the problem is that often guys who consider themselves good DO NOT POSSESS AT ALL those qualities that actually come first for girls.

What do girls need?

Let me draw you a portrait of that admirer of mine whom, in his opinion, I did not care about. I think some of you will recognize yourself or someone you know in him.

He was kind. He was polite. He opened the doors and made way. He offered help. He was a romantic. He was sweet and smiling. He was worried about my condition. He never hinted at intimacy or made obscene jokes in the presence of a lady.

Everything seems great, right? Every girl's dream, right? Knight, prince on a unicorn, right?

No. Let me finish the portrait.

He didn't know how to stand up for himself at all. He avoided problems. He was spineless. He was not a leader. He was afraid of conflicts. He was weak in character.

He thought that girls would be delighted with his qualities that I described above (after all, such qualities are not very common). And he didn’t understand that ahead of these qualities for girls are those qualities that he doesn’t have.

He considered himself a good guy for those qualities he had, and he was a good guy. A good person, I mean. But not a good match for a classic girl who needs a brave man with a strong character .

Masculinity is very important to us

This kind of confusion happens very often. A man thinks that he is a good guy because he is ready to do a lot for a girl and is ready to give her a lot. And the girl sees in him good friend, but, alas, a weak man.

Men, do not reproach us women for choosing the strong. This is all nature, we cannot help but worry about whether our man will be able to protect us and our future children, whether he will be able to solve the problems that will inevitably arise, whether we will feel next to him as if behind a stone wall.

Two big differences

It is important to understand that between a romantic airy gentleman and strong man, who just knows how to be romantic, there is a big difference.

A man who sometimes knows how to be romantic is a man-man who knows how to solve problems and tasks, lead and plan, convince and, if necessary, conflict, prove his superiority in a dispute with other men. But at the same time, he understands how to please a woman, and does it.

The romantic, airy gentleman is a kind of snot with a fine mental organization. He also knows how to please a woman, perhaps even better. He senses her moods very subtly, likes to make surprises and all that... This is his cool side. And the not cool thing is that he is still a snot with a fine mental organization, who is romantic (that is, sensitive) in principle in life.

He runs away from problems, he is suspicious and touchy. He experiences his problems for a long time and prefers not to face them in the future, but to avoid them, as well as disputes and clashes with other men. He is not a leader by nature. It has no core. And he pours out his whining on girls, about whom he subconsciously feels that they (unlike men) will understand his subtle feelings.

Do you feel the difference?

So why prefer bad guys?

The problem is that, unfortunately, many girls are surrounded by no men whom we actually consider good.

Really cool men-men, brave, kind, positive, determined, with internal rod and with an iron will and an iron will, who are at the same time smart, decent, have strong principles and moral values, as a percentage of the entire community of men, it’s not to say that there are just a lot.

Many girls have never seen them before. And they don't know what happens.

And now there lives a girl surrounded by such men who are completely absent. And she just doesn’t know that there are such people. Therefore, she has a choice between a snot man, a princess man, a gray mouse man, an average man and a bad man.

And considering that women by nature are drawn to stronger and more courageous representatives of the male community, the question for the audience is: who do you think will seem more masculine to a girl?

Yes, of course he's a bad guy. Yes, he is dishonest, yes, he often behaves ugly, yes, he often does not shine with intelligence... But often it is in him that the girl does not observe complexes, cowardice, snotty, weakness, avoidance of problems and all that. And it is in him that she feels strength. Do you agree that bad guys often exude self-confidence and determination?

This is actually how it works. You men, as a rule, don’t like boy-women and tomboys, and we don’t (also, as a rule) like men-snot and men-women.

What is the conclusion from this?

For men

If you suddenly realize that you don't come across as a strong, masculine man, don't rush to start a fight and become the bad guy. This is not what we need.

I assure you: good adequate girls with a healthy psyche and a normal environment ALWAYS give preference to truly good men. This is the same: smart, brave, strong, decent and the list goes on.

And they don’t look at the bad or the weak. Because there is no need. So, my husband, whom I spoke about at the beginning, is just one of those: smart, strong, principled, able to solve problems and defend his and my interests. And at the same time kind, caring, decent and well-mannered. Well, why, one might ask, do I need bad guys in this situation?

If the girl, knowing really great men, gives preference to bad guys - something is wrong with her . Not with you, with her. Problems with self-esteem, with parents, low intelligence, etc. Such a girl needs to take good courses on relationships and a psychologist. Otherwise it will be very difficult for you and her. Of course, you yourself can “pull” her out, showing that you are much more best option than any other. But this will require time and nerves. If you want to do this, do it, it will pump you up and make the girl happier.

And if you understand that everything is fine with the girl, but it’s you who don’t live up to those men whom we consider cool - oh, that’s easy to fix! Any masculine qualities are pumped up .

Just get on with it. Study courses, ask for advice from strong mentors, watch men's webinars and master classes. And pump up your masculinity! This will serve you well not only in your personal life, but also in your work.

For girls

If you realize that you know really cool men, but at the same time you are only attracted to bad guys, read the book "Women Who Love Too Much", and then, if necessary, consult a psychologist.

It's not your fault that you are attracted to bad men, the reason for this sits somewhere in your childhood or youth. But you are the one who can change this, restructure your thinking and start admiring good men and consider the unworthy unworthy.

In conclusion

Ladies and gentlemen, I hope some of you found this article helpful. Stop feeling sorry for yourself, start changing what doesn’t suit you in your life, and then you will become happy.

18761

In the previous article you learned how to become a drug for a girl. Today I will tell you why women love bad boys so much.

Why do girls like bad boys? Are you seriously asking this question? You really don't know the answer?

Why are girls annoyed by overtly nice guys?

So how will Mr. Good behave? What will he give the woman?

He will do everything that was instilled in him from childhood. And wonder why the beauty from the marketing department fell not for him (who helpfully brings coffee in the morning), but for a scumbag in a leather jacket from some unfortunate delivery service who doesn’t even look at her. And he will be angry because he cannot understand what she sees in him.

What does a good guy do when talking to a girl? How does he show himself, what is he trying to take?

Who is the bad guy?

At school, he neglected his classes and did what he wanted. He was behind in subjects that you would never need in your life. And he achieved success where he was truly interested.

So it turns out that a C grade student at school hires a former excellent student from whom he copied chemistry several years ago for a good position.

What is it like, is it a bad fight? He is bright, arrogant, greyhound, impudent. Brutal energy emanates from him. He is confident in himself, he is full of emotions. He enters the room and immediately broadcasts to everyone that he has entered man. Don't you see this? No, you don't see.

You see only a pretentious leather jacket and a look from under his forehead, from which you immediately want to turn away. And a woman sees strength, a male, an alpha, behind whose back she will always be safe, warm and calm.

The alpha will always bring prey for dinner, find a warmer cave than this one and throw a new skin from yesterday's mammoth on his woman.

Besides, with such a man, every day will be an adventure for her. Emotions are what captivates girls. This is what they are looking for and what is the point of dating for them. In cafes she had already talked about work and family for the rest of her life.

What happens when dealing with an asshole? You never know, he's unpredictable. The girl is excited and spurred on by interest, intrigue, and inner strength.

It tickles my nerves to communicate with him. After all, it is always a risk.

An alpha is someone who is used to winning and achieving. This is courage. These are actions. This is the result. Such men will always be in demand by women.

Why do women want bad boys?

Bad boy is fearless and independent. He's a leader. This is the man who makes girls want to possess him, tame him and domesticate him, like wild beast. Every woman sees this scenario in her rosy dreams before bed.

She sincerely believes and deep down hopes that she is special. And that she will be able to bring out beta qualities in an asshole, tear him out of the world of fornication and adventure and sit him on the sofa in front of the TV, where he will sit with her until the end of his days, holding her hand.

Somehow they reason like this and see taming assholes as manna from heaven. This affects the female habit of caring and protecting. And this always happens in movies. And that means she can do it too.

A bad boy is always a strong personality, and every girl wants to start a family and give birth to a child from a strong man.

And from childhood she was taught not to hang out with those who, according to her mother’s description, looked like an asshole. That’s why every girl should definitely try to contact someone like him!

In addition, a bad fight is not given and resisted, and this only inflames women’s interest more. The more harshly and confidently he tells her that he doesn’t want a relationship, the harder she will try to climb onto his neck and stay there forever.

The more she invests in him, the more expensive it becomes for her to even have some semblance of a relationship that she has achieved. Because now he is a desired prize for her.

Understand? Women don't want bad people, not assholes, not assholes. They want a strong, pumped up man.

Have you read the article? But how can all this information be put into practice? How to get step-by-step and comprehensive instructions to woo a specific girl?

It often happens that a decent, intelligent and well-mannered girl meets with a brutal and ill-mannered guy. Why do girls like bad boys and what attracts girls to bad boys?
Imagine: your boyfriend is modest, responsible, so positive, plays sports, doesn’t drink, doesn’t smoke - in short, just like the song says “So that he doesn’t drink, doesn’t smoke, and always gives flowers, he calls his mother-in-law mother...” well, everything like that.

Why then does the hooligan Vasya have more fans than him? And perhaps this girl will marry the quiet and modest Pasha - but at the same time she will glance in the direction of Vasya, who will also wink at her a couple of times.

What is happening to us, why such an incomprehensible choice, why does the soul often rush to the bad guy, and the mind to the good guy? Let's figure it out.

Who is the bad boy?

I would like to point out right away that we are talking about “bad” boys (the quotation marks are there for a reason), and not scoundrels. Therefore, do not confuse these two concepts, we are not talking about notorious hooligans, but about noble bad guys- these are completely different things.

A bad guy is one who always knows what he wants. He rarely thinks about what others think about this. Sometimes he can go over his head - the goal is more important to him than some sentimental nonsense.

He can show cruelty in some ways, is more often physically strong, selfish, but at the same time he is damn charming, and always takes advantage of this - while he himself, as a rule, is not carried away by anyone.

In relation to others, he tries to maintain neutrality according to the principle “I like everyone, I don’t single out anyone” or “I don’t care at all - you live as you want, I live as I want.”

In his work, he thinks only about his own benefit, don’t try to make him an ally - it won’t work. He himself won’t bother you either, well, unless you cross his path, but don’t expect help from him either - he’s always on his own.

But if you managed to become his friend, that’s a different question. Here you can be sure - he will tear up all your offenders without thinking too much - after all, you have earned his gratitude, and he doesn’t care about the rest.

So why do we usually like guys like this?

There are many reasons, let’s look at the most basic ones, those based on the female instinct embedded in us since the cave period:

1.) Every woman wants to feel protected. A bad guy is able to provide such protection - for the lady of his heart he is generally ready to do anything, and for other women he will do this simply because it will add love to him from others - and this is so pleasant for the bad guy when they say good things about him, and if if they say bad things, he doesn’t care. Don't try to hurt him - it won't work. It is thanks to these qualities that he will literally cripple all your enemies without even blinking an eye.

2.) A bad boy is usually sexy as hell, it doesn’t matter what his height is, he can be short, bald, with broken teeth, or, on the contrary, tall and handsome - in any case, this man has such an attractive force that women rarely pass by him - they simply cannot help but turn pay attention to him.

The secret is that such a man is internally relaxed, he knows about his shortcomings and is not ashamed of them, and he also knows about his merits - and is proud of them. He perceives himself always and everywhere as he is - and what’s interesting is that he perceives others too, which captivates him. He never tries to change others: those he doesn’t like simply leave his social circle, and this doesn’t bother him much, or rather, doesn’t bother him at all.

3.) If you become the bad guy's chosen one, you might be said to be lucky in a sense. You will be behind him like behind a stone wall, he will protect you, and if his feelings are sincere, then it is quite possible that you will become his only woman. Bad guys, despite their selfish nature, most often later become very good family men - well, of course, after they've worked themselves up - bad guys usually don't get married early, well, unless they really fall in love so much that once and for all. But don’t expect life to be easy with him!

He will always invent something and rush somewhere, that is, you understand, in order to stay close to the bad guy, you need to match him - if he likes hiking, then start packing your backpack, if he likes sports, get ready to watch football matches with him, loves his wife to cook delicious food - run to the store right now for a cookbook. Otherwise, quarrels are inevitable, although you can pacify a bully with affection)). And what’s also important, if his MOM… or sister suddenly doesn’t like you, he won’t even listen to them! The main thing is that he likes you! Not a bad advantage, right?

4.) A bad boy knows how and loves to make decisions. That is, usually you will not be faced with the question of how to spend the weekend or where to go on vacation. Your bad guy will decide everything for you, and will present you with a fait accompli. Forgive him for this weakness, but he may choose the wrong country where you would like to go - but the most important thing is that he took care of everything, you didn’t even have to strain.

Just during the trip, hint to him which countries attract you - and next time you will go there. Bad boys love surprises too. But remember one piece of advice - never make a scandal or scold his choice. Otherwise, you risk losing him - don’t forget, by nature, a bad guy is a proud bird - he may be offended! And this, first of all, will turn out badly for you.

5.) If a bad guy has a crush on you and wants to make you his wife, he usually does this right away, why should he think about what and how will happen later, he wants to see you next to him right now. This is another important touch in the character of a bad guy that attracts women so much. True, they sometimes love to the point of fanaticism, they are very jealous, but they don’t always show it - but it’s better not to play with fire, these jealous people can kill, just like Othello.

Who is a good boy?

A good boy is good at everything, but... for some reason he is not so attractive to women. Let's try to sort out the same points, let's compare, so to speak, and try to understand what's wrong with him.
1. A good boy usually tries to avoid conflicts basically, therefore, if you suddenly have a verbal altercation on the bus with a not entirely polite passenger, do not expect him to rush to help you with this, he will simply remain silent. He will not support you when you start talking about your unfair boss, even if you tell him that he started to treat you lately pester - he will decide that you are able to deal with this problem yourself or, even worse, you yourself provoked such a situation.

He will talk for a long time, offer you options for solving the problem, etc. Can you imagine a "bad guy" like this? Yes, consider that your boss has already lost two teeth in absentia for such jokes. What does it have to do with <<плохиш>> will not figure out who is right and who is wrong.

2. About sexuality- it’s all individual, who likes what. Usually good boys take care of themselves and go to the hairdresser and get their nails done. They dress representatively, strictly, elegantly. But with all this, they do not excite women so much. Why? Well, the main reason is that they are too eager to be perfect at everything to the point that it becomes annoying. They usually always have everything according to plan, even sex - but sometimes they want to improvise.

In addition, the eternal desire to be correct (not swearing, not smoking, always looking good, etc.) forces such a man to constantly maintain his brand, which deprives him of naturalness, and therefore a share of attractiveness.

3 . So, you are a good boy's chosen one. Not bad either. He will be faithful to you, devoted, will go to the theater with you, go to family dinners on Sundays - but this does not always happen because he really wants it - it’s just the way it should be, it’s right. And sometimes it happens with sex too - often it happens not because your man wants you, but again because it’s supposed to be so.

Well, as for your mother... be prepared right away - first she must like you, and only then he must like you. And if suddenly she doesn’t like you, no one says that they will immediately abandon you, but the fact that your mother’s opinion about you will be a fundamental component of his opinion about you is a fact. “You need to listen to mom” is another rule that needs to be followed.

4. A good boy is inherently indecisive., and he explains this by saying that “your opinion is important to him.” But this most often results in the fact that you always have to make all the decisions, and at the same time he will not just agree with your decision, but think about it in every possible way and find flaws - well, he just must also take part in the choice, even if through only criticism and without any alternative options for my part.

5. Well, what about marriage?- until the good boy is sure that the ground has been prepared for your life together: an apartment, stable income, approval of your candidacy by your loved ones (don’t forget about this), he will not marry you. If you are ready to wait, then, in principle, they will eventually organize a stable and prosperous life for you. Only, perhaps, by then you will have run away with some “bad” boy - but if suddenly it doesn’t work out there, then you can always return to the good things - if he sincerely loves you, he will wait for you.

Well, here's an approximate description good And "bad" boys.

And so that everything doesn’t seem so gloomy, I’ll say right away that in nature, purebred positive and negative men do not exist - that's why I wish you to meet a man who will collect all the most positive qualities from a “bad” and a good boy, and may he make you the Queen not only of his heart, but of the whole world!

Firstly. “All kinds of assholes who don’t give a damn about girls” appeal only to short-sighted schoolgirls and Baltika lovers in your yard. But adequate, smart, normal girls really like charismatic, cheerful, open and confident men who allow themselves to communicate with girls SLIGHTLY (!!!) condescendingly and with a bit of irony. Girls feel the self-sufficiency of such men, they feel that they have absolutely no power over them (although in reality this may not be the case). So these are two huge differences.

This follows secondly. The ability to win over people, communicate with them (and especially with girls) is work and many years of work on oneself. Very few people are naturally relaxed, never shy, and may not learn this. Most people are very worried about public opinion. That’s why I sincerely don’t understand these thousands of American films where a silent, bespectacled nerd is pining for a girl, and at the same time she’s hanging out with a “cool asshole.” Do you know why she does this? Because he entertains her, makes her laugh, makes her feel wanted and protected. SHE HAS FUCKING FUN AND INTERESTING WITH HIM.

And once again: this “asshole” is just as worried, shy and cannot put two words together. But he overcomes himself, he works on himself.

This follows thirdly. Now I am not talking specifically about you and your question (it is quite possible that you asked it in the abstract). So: fellow good guys, if the love of your life is hanging out with another “asshole,” then don’t run to the Internet to cry and don’t rush to like sad memes on VKontakte. Ask yourself: maybe it’s all about me? Maybe she's with him because he gives her what she needs and I don't? Maybe I should change?

For her sake, if you love her. Well, or for the sake of simplifying life in general.

And fourthly. “I’m an introvert” is an excuse and a reason. Not the reason. I declare with full responsibility as an introvert.

Comment

The bad guys are wayward, independent individuals and the girl, choosing him as the object of her sympathy, wants to play an exceptional role in his fate, change him, rein him in, turn a womanizer into a monogamous family man. And besides, relationships with bullies are much more dramatic than with a good guy. And it’s more interesting to tell your friends about this)

There are several options here:

1. In fact, this is a stereotype, and most girls don’t like all sorts of assholes who are simply unlucky in their careers love relationship applicants indulge themselves with this illusion because from this kagbe the conclusion follows that they are simply not assholes, but very good guys. But girls like assholes, nothing can be done. It's kind of a psychological defensive reaction. This stereotype is also supported by simple fact that the rejected contender for a hand and heart a priori considers his opponent an asshole (a sin against logic based on emotions).

2. Girls who like assholes do exist (just like boys who like assholes) - but the thing is that, as Freud said, we only meet those who are already in our subconscious. And if in the subconscious of a girl/boy there is a partner who is an asshole/asshole, she/he will subconsciously give preference to just such characters.

Law of natural selection. An asshole is usually a guy who looks independent, says what he thinks, behaves relaxed and freely, treats everyone (usually only the woman herself) as he sees fit, in general, a kind of fatal man. The female brain tends to react to such a person as a confident leader, and therefore worthy of going to bed with him.

But in addition to instincts, human females usually have a brain, and they draw a conclusion in time: in order to make sure whether a man is really a confident leader, you need to watch him first, find out what kind of person he really is, how he earns a living, how he is treated at work, who his friends are, whether there are any signs of mental deviations, deep-seated childhood complexes or a tendency towards violence, check whether he is lying in 97% of cases, and whether he is as confident in himself as it seems - this whole long list of ordinary female selection criteria - and over time they learn to weed them out at first sight. In addition, the average “normal” woman knows her worth and refuses relationships that somehow discredit her dignity, forcing a man (including the asshole subspecies) to either accept her conditions or walk off into the sunset.

If a woman doesn’t do all this, then she gets stuck at the teenage level of development and, until her first gray hair, steps on the same rake, every time more and more spoiling her already not so good life. high self-esteem, adding to the series of tearful stories on women’s public pages and supplying psychologists and pharmacists with their daily bread and content for public pages. But what’s most interesting is that sometimes assholes are actually suitable for such women, because... give them everything they need psychologically, and without full-fledged therapy, this woman is only capable of breaking out of the circle of assholes by a miracle.

I join MARY SERGEEV. The only thing I’ll add on my own: bad guys are rarely truly interesting and independent individuals. This is how they APPEAR immature to women.
The bad guy association works here = cool guy. Having an asshole boyfriend is as cool as being the owner of a big angry dog.

Here, in fact, everything is individual. Some people like quiet guys, others like assholes. However, there is some tendency in general preferences, both among men and among women. After all, if you think about it, men (dominant alpha males) also choose the most “bright” (beautiful, spectacular, interesting girl, around whom competitors are hovering, with whom you definitely won’t be bored) a representative of the opposite sex. Who would want to date a gray mouse with whom there is nothing to talk to? The selective principle also works for girls. You want your chosen one to be a bright, somewhat unique personality (here, uniqueness can mean anything at all), and not a mumbler, a slob and a total loser. And usually this is what is meant by the word “quiet”. It becomes boring very quickly with such people. And in general, Pushkin also said “What smaller woman we love, the more she likes us” and this is true. Every man and woman wants excitement, a spark in a relationship, so that the relationship is interesting, exciting and brings emotions, and not “just a good guy/good girl”. I probably just want good things when hormones stop acting up (that is, most often with age) or if they have never been naughty at all - this also happens. And in general, like is attracted to like. Assholes are attracted to assholes, and “just good guys” are attracted to “just.” good girls"))

All of the above certainly occurs, but from my experience there are two situations:

The girl herself is not distinguished by anything good, but for some reason (???) normal guys fall in love with her and I cry that she likes assholes (she is no better, what did you get for her?)

Good, kind and even handsome guys They just don't take the initiative. Listening to the girls’ stories about why this asshole is, I realized that they themselves don’t understand. Well, he came, took and took away, tactlessly and unceremoniously, but many people like it.

Be a little more active and look at normal girls) I myself prefer to take the initiative and take good boys to myself

Firstly, someone whom you consider an asshole and a bad guy may seem like a good and reliable friend to another person.

Secondly, it is likely that at the first meeting this bad guy did not behave so badly - he was attentive, joked a lot, smiled, looked after the girl, etc., which made her fall in love with him. Let's say that after a couple of months his asshole nature was revealed: he began, for example, to cheat. The girl's hormones are still raging and she can't take it off yet. rose-colored glasses, so she sincerely believes her boyfriend, even if his infidelities are obvious. She comes up with all sorts of excuses that she instills in herself (“mom’s lipstick”, “late at work”, “in the sauna with friends”, etc.), she cannot believe that her prince on a white horse is not really a prince. After all, he was so nice when they met, and he constantly tells her that she is the only one. Even if the betrayal is exposed, the girl may leave the guy for a while, she may admit that he is an asshole, but she is still in love. She cannot break up with him yet, because it is now easier for her to forgive his betrayal than to break up with him. It is quite possible that her attitude towards young man will no longer be so naive, but she is still in love with him. Time has passed and now the guy is not only cheating, but also abusing alcohol/gambling. Still, she believes that this will pass for him. She cherishes in her chest the image of their first meeting and her first impression of him. He believes that he is not really like that, but the same as when they first met - yes, love is blind and sometimes makes people fools in the eyes of others. The boiling point either comes or it doesn’t - the girl is either abandoned, or her feelings cool down, she begins to understand everything, says to herself “what a fool I was” and leaves. Perhaps this experience will not insure her from the next mistake. Sometimes the boiling point comes too late: the girl does not break up with the guy, but, for example, marries him. It is possible that in such a marriage there will be abuse and domestic violence. By this moment, the girl’s feelings have already grown into something more than just falling in love and she begins to forgive her husband for drunkenness, betrayal, beatings, and even worship of Satan. And now she is already 40, she still lives with this man, but she understands that she no longer loves him. She either stays with him because she doesn’t want and is afraid to change her life, or she has financial dependence on her husband, or she takes the children if she has them and leaves. But at this age, people no longer like to change anything, so, in most cases, everything remains as it is.

Answer

Every girl knows everything about herself: what clothes suit her, what shoes and handbag she needs, priorities in nutrition and lifestyle. She roughly or accurately imagines her future, highlighting priorities in it and determining her place. But one thing that often confuses women’s plans is the choice of a man.

Contrary to personal plans for the future, girls tend to like bad boys. The question of the reasons why women's sympathy is given to such guys is asked both among girls and among good guys.

Why does it happen that the “right” young people are often beyond the limits of women’s sympathy? Let's look at a few main reasons.

Striving for the opposite

A good girl was raised in certain rules, including the prohibition of bad habits and obscene words, the identification of priority and taboo topics for discussion, right and wrong actions. From childhood, a girl hears about what she should and should not do. It goes without saying that every action of the girl is under close supervision and condemnation of others. The habit of monitoring compliance with rules eats into character and results in DC voltage, called composure. Communicating in her social circle, the girl gets used to the constant self-control and constraint of others, accepting this as the norm.

And then one day she meets a person of the opposite sex who is free in conclusions, movements, conclusions and behavior. The guy becomes attractive to literally everyone, which is not available to the girl herself: bad habits, uncontrolled speech, behavior subordinated to one’s desires, and not to external rules.

To some extent, the physical law of “attraction of opposites” is triggered, which when applied to living beings becomes physiological. The girl is literally “pulled” to what is forbidden to her. And this, as you know, is sweet.

Sincerity

A bad guy differs from his good peer at first sight: his actions and words do not comply with the rules, but are filled with sincerity. It is openness, as a psychological characteristic, that “bribes” a girl. He does not hide his gaze, does not hide his desires, does not try to build a line of his behavior. There is a sense of openness in his actions. He easily expresses his opinion, and the lack of necessary vocabulary is compensated by certain stylistically colored expressions that fully characterize the personal attitude to what is happening.

A girl raised to control emotions is simply discouraged by this behavior, and she undoubtedly finds it attractive.

Unpredictability

How interesting is it to watch a banal film where the plot development is obvious? In the girl’s own environment, the development of relationships is predictable. The actions and deeds of her friends fit into well-known clichés. And even with full compliance with the rules and norms of etiquette, the relationship seems boring to her because it lacks the element of surprise. Relationships with bad guys are completely different, where norms and rules are not observed, and actions are subordinated to feelings and spontaneous attractions. Unpredictability and surprise are key reasons for sympathy. Psychologists call this “the ability to surprise.” Many young men spend a lot of time studying this phenomenon and learning how to organize surprises for a girl, while bad guys do it virtually intuitively, without thinking about the psychological effects, but obeying their own desires.

Lack of egocentrism

Nice guys tend to read psychological literature, spend a lot of time studying their own characteristics and characteristics. They are well versed in their own tastes, aspirations and fears. They are aimed at a certain future and, gradually, move towards this, clearly defining priorities. Their life is self-centered. Conversations and conversations are built around their plans. Interest in the events of a girl’s life is, as a rule, feigned and more ethical than sincere.

The bad guy is not focused on his own personality, but is directed at other people. Questions regarding the girl’s personal circumstances characterize a desire to listen, rather than say it yourself. Girls like to “discover” the characteristics of guys, and not know the full psychological characteristics. They like to “open up” to another person, giving and receiving mutual joys of knowledge. Representatives of this type of guy are not self-centered, therefore they did not have to think much about themselves, about their characteristics, aspirations, and desires. They are sincerely interested in other people, and this is extremely attractive.

No high requirements

A nice guy knows he's "good." No matter how this tautology looks, it explains the behavior of most promising men. Indeed, a properly brought up guy knows about his education, good manners, good taste and prospects. He perceives himself as a “gift” for representatives of the opposite sex. However, such a gift must be matched. And the guy makes a number of high demands on his chosen one, where appearance, education, ethics must be combined with a clear awareness of his position (his place) in their relationship. Moreover, at the slightest discrepancy, the man will begin to “pull” the girl up to his ideal, without being interested in her own interests.

A bad guy won't pay attention to subtle criteria in choosing clothes or accessories, he won't care about the right bag or the appropriate hairstyle for the occasion. He knows for sure that he likes a girl, regardless of clothing style, accent or hair color. He does not make high demands, because... he himself does not correspond to them.

The identified reasons characterize the bad guys with positive side. It is not surprising that such qualities as sincerity, openness, focus on another person, unpredictability can win the heart of a good girl brought up on romantic poetry, beautiful novels and books on ethics. However, it must be remembered that falling in love can turn a blind eye to a lot of other characteristics, which will definitely appear later. Girls strive for love, not business relationships and future prospects imposed by good guys. In addition, their own understanding of love is connected with the content of some literary work, where there are feelings, desires, passions, and not restrained dialogues and discussion of perspectives. That is why they are subconsciously drawn to bad guys.