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The Hand of Persuasion Few things can ruin a first impression like a limp handshake. A familiar statement from school, right? However, this is such a common occurrence that I can’t help but mention it. Lucy Cherkasets, a coach at Clarity Media Group, noticed that

Part 1.
The hand of the giver will never fail...

One day, after two years of silence, my friend Vadik called me and asked me until tomorrow for the notorious thing of bucks, which was simply desperately needed. Vadik, without exaggeration, is a wonderful, talented and highly intelligent person; at one time he helped me a lot. We talked about life, but I didn’t give him money, even though I had it. Are you judging me?

It's not a matter of greed at all. Yes, I was ashamed to refuse my friend, but knowing him well, I understood that with a thousand dollars I could say goodbye forever, or at least for a very, very long time - until Vadik received the million-dollar inheritance of his Australian grandfather who suddenly appeared and immediately died. Not a cheap gift, especially considering that his birthday passed six months ago. Valera, my other friend (who never borrowed money from me), I would easily lend a large amount, and not only for a “dire” business, but, for example, to buy a Longines gold watch. I'm just confident that he will give me the money on the same day (or even earlier if I ask) and I will never have to chase him with a tomahawk.

Unfortunately, even the most wonderful guy, with whom he is ready to storm Everest and go on reconnaissance missions, may turn out to be a professional “defector.” In order not to get burned, there is a universal rule: before you lend to a friend, get to know him from this side.

“His father lived in debt... And finally went broke.” The fate of Father Onegin awaits all real debtors, but this does not prevent them from cheating more than a dozen generous simpletons during their “career”.

Perhaps a new friend who has just provided you with an invaluable service (think about it - is it so invaluable?) professes a fairly common concept of living on credit - what I don’t earn, I’ll borrow, what I don’t borrow, I’ll steal. A rosy relationship at first can turn into a protracted debt collection. At first, the debtor will simply not notice your first modest hints (“Vasya, my money is tight right now... How about ours... well, remember?”), then, when you finally openly ask to repay the debt, he will constantly postpone the payment date, arguing for anything: from sudden dismissal from work to the cost of funeral expenses for the great-grandmother of a great-nephew. The eternal song - “yes, of course, I remember, I want to pay it back, but now I’m just not there, wait a week” - will gradually develop into a game of invisible man: your debtor will not be caught anywhere. He just left, hasn’t arrived yet, will stop by after lunch for five minutes, lives with a friend who doesn’t have a phone, etc. etc. His mobile phone will switch to voicemail or answer that the subscriber is temporarily unavailable, and his home phone (after the caller ID beeps) will torment his ears with long beeps. Some encrypted personalities communicate with the world exclusively with the help of an answering machine, and during a chance meeting they literally jump, shouting something like: “I left the iron and water on! I’m running! Fire, flood! I’ll call you!”

Alcoholics and drug addicts are a different story. Financial relations with such a person should be avoided, even if he is a great, but lost and fallen soul. For such the world around us(including you) is only a means of quenching your mania, and for this all means are good. In order to avoid getting caught, you just need to take your time, use common sense and take these tips into account.

Check the person.

• Method one. He asks you for a decent amount of money. You say that you need to think, but in a conversation with people who know him, you casually mention his request. If he managed to distinguish himself on the debt front, you will be warned “in secret.”
• Method two (when there is no one to find out from). You say that you don’t have that kind of money, but you can give, say, a hundred rubles. He either refuses (most likely if he needs a specific amount for specific purpose, and not just for a living), or takes. You monitor the fate of your trial balloon and draw conclusions.

If you decide to lend money to a person you don’t completely trust, ask him for a receipt for receiving the money ( we're talking about about medium and large amounts). If he suddenly gets amnesia, the receipt will be factual evidence (valid even in court) that you at least know him.
Even better - lend it as collateral. The value of the collateral must exceed the amount of debt - then the debtor will not be tempted to turn real estate (an old music center) into movable property (money).
If the debtor cannot pay the entire amount on time, it is better not to postpone the entire payment, but to break it into parts. In case of unfavorable developments, you will return at least part of the money.
Keep a record of all the money you lend. In a large group, almost every day someone shoots you for cigarettes, lunch or gasoline. Small amounts, due to their insignificance, have one very nasty property - they irrevocably evaporate from the memory of both the taker and the giver. Therefore, in a year you can give away the cost of the TV and washing machine in addition.
Some debts must be forgiven. Sometimes specific relationships arise in which asking for money back is simply indecent. For example, the debtor provided you with very valuable services for free, which otherwise would have cost much more than the amount of the debt. Or, for example, you break up with a girl who at one time took money from you (with a return) for a new fur coat. In this case, forgetfulness is not a sign of multiple sclerosis, but a manifestation of nobility.
How to determine what it is large sum? It can be considered half of your annual income. It is for this amount that personal budget planners advise purchasing a car.

Part 2.
With outstretched hand

So, you generously loaned money to numerous friends and rejoiced at their gratitude. However, everything flows, everything changes. Once deep river your finances have turned into a miserable trickle, lost in problems and costs, and on the horizon, like a thundercloud, the need for a large sum arises. You need money and you don't know where to get it. You will have to take from someone who can and wants to give. However, you must also take it skillfully, otherwise you can unwittingly turn into the hero of the first part of our article. So watch yourself, be careful...

If you are not going to join the cohort of “defectors,” the main thing in debt is not the ability to take it, but the ability to repay it. Before borrowing a certain amount, really assess your capabilities. From what sources will you return this money? If at least one of them is doubtful (once in the situation, the wife’s evil but rich second cousin will give it to you), your entire scheme for repaying the debt is built on an avos and may well collapse.
Even if you are confident that you will be able to collect the money by the agreed date, you should always have a safety net in case a creditor, experiencing force majeure, demands early payment. A backup option is a person who, in principle, if you really need it, will be able to temporarily re-borrow you the amount of the debt, or at least a large part of it.
Have a reason. A person giving a loan should feel like a benefactor. Therefore, explain to him the hopelessness of your situation and the immensity of your gratitude if he helps you.
Don't put all your eggs in one basket. If you need large amount, do not take it entirely from one person, but break it into several smaller debts - it will be easier to repay. The same applies to the repayment period - draw up a schedule for reborrowing. . . . . .
If possible, it is better to borrow from close relatives, even if your relationship is not ideal. Issues discussed in family circle, are resolved more emotionally, but with less severe consequences for the body.
If you really desperately need money, but there is no confidence that you will be able to return it, do not set people up. Take unnecessary things to the nearest pawn shop, sell your favorite car or garage. Things are a matter of gain, and the reputation and respect of others can be lost in an instant and forever.
The debt must be repaid in the same currency that was borrowed, unless otherwise agreed in advance. If the amount is large, then preferably in banknotes of the same denomination (no less) - this is a rule of good manners.

Ancient wisdom teaches us never to lend money to anyone and never to borrow money ourselves. Don't trust the wise men. They also often make mistakes. Isaev Roman

(From the word about the merciful scholastic)

Do not turn away your heart, says Scripture, clasp your hands below before your brother who demands. By opening, may you open your hand to him... By giving, may you give to him. Whoever gives you to him, your Lord will bless you in all your deeds and in everything (). Those who give to the poor will not become scarce (). Grow old, says David, and I did not see the righteous abandoned, below his seed asking for bread(). The truths are immutable, for they are confirmed by countless examples of the miraculous replenishment for the merciful, distributed by them. I bring to your attention one of them is the following.

In Mount Ascalon there was one pious man who spent all his time in deeds of charity. He distributed alms to the monks and the poor, fed strange monks and other strangers, and his house was a refuge for all the homeless. One day, when, according to his custom, he needed to send alms to poor monasteries, he needed money, and he, not knowing where he could get it, sat mourning. Suddenly a handsome old man appears at his house and asks: “What are you grieving about?” “Yes, about my sins,” the merciful one answered as usual. “No, not about sins,” the elder continued, “but about the fact that you don’t know where to find money. But he cares about you. Here are three hundred pieces of gold and the same number of pieces of silver. Send them according to your custom." Having taken the money, the merciful man went to put it away, but as soon as he left, the elder became invisible. Returning and not seeing the elder, the owner of the house angrily began to reprimand the family and the gatekeeper why they had released the elder before his return; but everyone swore that there was no one in their house and that they had not seen any elder. The merciful husband then realized that the gold had been sent to him from above, and from then on he became even more merciful and distributed all his property to the poor. When he lived in poverty, one day two monks came to him and gave him an ark of gold. The poor man began to persuade them to taste the food, but they, making the excuse that they had to visit the Egyptian hermits, left him, promising to come to him in the evening. The evening passed and they were gone. The Merciful One inquired about them from the Egyptian fathers; but they said that they had no one. Again here he became convinced that the gold had been given to him by God. There was also a third incident in his life, also miraculous. There was once a shortage of wooden oil in his church, and the sacristan wanted to tell him about this - but, although he did not have time to say it, however, upon returning to the church, he saw a vessel overflowing with oil. Thus, the more the merciful one gave, the more mercies he received from God and through them, of course, he had the opportunity to be convinced of God’s special favor to himself.

So, brothers, it is clear from here that, as Basil the Great says: “Mercy returns to those who give. You gave to the hungry - you tried to benefit yourself; for what you have given, you will receive in abundance” (For those who are rich). And St. Ambrose of Milan says the same thing: a person (about the death of Theodosius the Great) is merciful when he helps others, and does himself good, and heals his wounds with someone else’s medicine.” Amen.

“The need for invention is cunning,” it was once customary to say about someone’s ingenuity. Especially when funds are tight. They took money, did not disdain greyhound puppies, and did not shy away from “dead souls.” The resourcefulness of Russian officials has always been the butt of jokes among the people. Not always angry, but quite offensive. True, sometimes immoderation in appetite or outright stupidity brought bribe-takers to the dock.

The situation has not changed at all over the years, and "First Anti-Corruption Media" compiled a kind of rating of the stupidest bribes of recent times. Moreover, journalists PASMI decided to highlight in it not only employees who are greedy for small rewards, but also those who do not care how to pay for services. Even with your body...

And here, undoubtedly, the palm belongs to a car enthusiast from Orenburg named Christina. Who, at a stationary traffic police post, trying to pay off the inspector, first offered the officer a watermelon and then herself as a reward.

But either the inspector was madly in love with his wife, or Christina’s feminine charms did not excite him at all, but he resolutely refused the “tempting” offer.

Struck by such a disrespectful attitude towards herself, Christina said a bunch of nasty things to the traffic cop and threw 300 rubles on his table as a “payoff”. At this moment, it was probably time for the traffic police officer to take offense, and he brought the unlucky car lady under Article 291 of the Criminal Code of the Russian Federation (“Giving a bribe”). Now Kristina faces up to 2 years in prison and a 3 thousand ruble fine.

Unlike the girl Kristina, the 30-year-old entrepreneur from Novocheboksarsk, in Chuvashia, was stupid to offer himself to a policeman, and it was a shame to give money. Therefore, he brought a bottle of cognac, some sausage and cheese straight to the law enforcement officer’s office.

For some reason, the man hoped that for this generous donation the policeman would return to him the slot machines that had previously been confiscated from a local diner. But that was not the case. Alcohol and snacks are now material evidence in a criminal case, slot machines are kept in the Ministry of Internal Affairs, and the entrepreneur is waiting for his fate to be decided under a written undertaking not to leave the place.

By the way, in the same Chuvashia, in the very near future a junior security inspector of one of the maximum security colonies will be tried. A 24-year-old FSIN employee demanded that the relatives of two prisoners give him a chainsaw.

For this he promised that he would not hear the trill of the bell. cell phone, which he also handed over to the convicts. And you don’t have to be a prophet to understand one simple truth. The former inspector will now definitely cut down wood with a saw. Only issued to him at government expense.

A chainsaw is certainly a necessary and useful thing in the household. This is not even discussed. But the question of why the St. Petersburg traffic cop needed several thousand paper bags puzzled PASMI journalists.

For his signature on the permit to work with heavy equipment, the traffic police inspector demanded that one of the construction companies 50 thousand rubles. Half of which the policeman wanted to receive in cash, and half... in paper bags.

We dare to assume that it was the unusual nature of this request that prompted the businessmen to file a complaint about extorting a bribe to the Internal Security Department of the Ministry of Internal Affairs.

It is likely that during trial scheduled for the end of February, the inspector will still be able to explain to his former colleagues, the judge and the builders how he was going to use more than 3 thousand bags. The price, by the way, is 8 rubles apiece.

After the incident mentioned above, it’s even somehow inconvenient to write about a teacher from the Agrarian University in Omsk, who accepted donations of 200 ruble certificates from students for the purchase of perfumes.

It is quite possible that the aromas of inexpensive perfume and deodorant emanating from the assistant professor caused mixed reactions among colleagues and students. And they didn’t find anything better than to roll a joint cart on her to the Ministry of Internal Affairs. After which the operatives detained the perfume lover red-handed.

The judge (a man, by the way) later also sided with the team and students. Guided by the law and his own sense of smell, he sentenced the teacher to a fine of 90 thousand rubles.

True, the court decision contains one surprising clause - the confiscation of illegally obtained funds. It becomes interesting how miraculously the bailiffs will now determine whether the lipstick was bought by an assistant professor for his salary or obtained through criminal means.

Here it’s time to talk about the morals of modern bailiffs. Two of them “distinguished themselves” recently in Tolyatti.

Instead of delivering a couple of Uzbek guest workers subject to deportation from the court to the detention center, the bailiffs stopped by their hostel, received 20 thousand rubles there and, with a clear conscience, set off to celebrate the freedom of the citizens of a friendly republic.

The bailiffs were obviously not accustomed to drinking for two. And so the third share was taken by the court driver. It was then that their own security service tied them up. As one knowledgeable person later joked: “Twenty for three will now turn into twelve for them each.”

Actually, the time has come to remember Gogol’s immortal “The Inspector General”. Where Judge Lyapkin-Tyapkin asserted in all seriousness that “sins are different.” After which he admitted that he takes greyhound puppies, but this cannot be considered a bribe.

Obviously, the chief specialist of the Ministry of Emergency Situations for the Voronezh region held the same opinion, who asked the director small company“Connect him to the Internet at home.” And his colleague from Saratov received a Samsung TV from the manager of a local bank.

Well, as they say, “small people have small needs.” A modern man said very well about such bribe-takers. English writer Peter Hunter:

...their stupidity and incompetence
destroys our lives - our perception is distorted
their corruption and greed...
I wish some wandering asteroid would stop this nightmare...

We'll end there too.

Marina ILINA

Andrey VOLOSTNYKH