What is the response to forgiveness on Forgiveness Sunday? How to accept an apology

02/17/2018 at 15:49, views: 157244

The last day of Maslenitsa is called Forgiveness Sunday; in 2018 it falls on February 18 - it is believed that on this day you need to ask for forgiveness from everyone you may have voluntarily or unwittingly offended during the year. IN modern conditions, it would seem, it would be easier to do this: you just need to send a message in any messenger... But representatives of the Russian Orthodox Church insist: a formal apology is not needed either by the person asking, or by the addressee, or by God, so Forgiveness Sunday is a good reason to meet or at least call.

Forgiveness Sunday itself is based on the reading of the Gospel of Matthew, which says: “For if you forgive people their sins, your Heavenly Father will also forgive you, but if you do not forgive people their sins, then your Father will not forgive your sins.” yours." You need to ask each other for forgiveness before the start of Lent in order to enter it with a pure soul and prepare for Easter. However, this should be done sincerely, and not formally - otherwise no sense or purification will be achieved. MK spoke about how to properly spend Forgiveness Sunday and prepare for the beginning of Lent Archpriest Vsevolod Chaplin:

– First of all, you need to come to the church for the rite of forgiveness, which is usually performed in the evening, but sometimes in the afternoon, after the liturgy - it depends on the specific church. At this time, a prayer is read for the beginning of Lent, and after this the priests and archpriests themselves ask for forgiveness. Everyone asks forgiveness from the clergy, and then from each other. The main thing is that this should not be a formal act; a person must really desire forgiveness and not later return to what he asked for forgiveness for. Mutual grievances on this day need to be truly closed. This is a very good day to stop many years of strife, family conflicts, letting go of old grievances.

– What is the best way to do this?

If it is not possible to meet at the temple, you can come visit or call. I would just not recommend sending out SMS messages fan-out throughout your entire address book. Not every person will understand what we are talking about; we have many who are far from Orthodox culture. You can respond to “Forgive me” and run into a surprised “Why forgive you?” or even worse - to the question “Who is this anyway?”

– By the way, is it necessary to clarify what kind of offense you are asking for forgiveness for?

Usually they don't specify. You can simply say “Forgive me,” or you can add about all your sins, voluntary or involuntary. However, if something weighs on your soul, you want to talk about some of your guilt or problems, there is nothing wrong with that. This is even better - it will help not turn mutual forgiveness into an empty formality.

– What can you advise people who feel that they cannot let go of an offense, although they have been asked for forgiveness?

It’s better to try to forgive. And then come to confession and repent of the fact that you cannot get rid of old resentment. You need to pray that this resentment will finally leave your heart. And you should also pray for the person you are offended by - the more you do this, the sooner the offense will go away.

– And if it’s the other way around: what should a person do if they refuse to forgive him?

The same thing: you need to go to church and pray for the person who refused forgiveness. There can be no other way.

– Forgiveness Sunday is the last day before the start of Lent. How should it be carried out?

In fact, throughout Maslenitsa week You can no longer eat meat, only dairy products and eggs. Those who try to eat as if for the future on Sunday evening act strangely - after Vespers, fun is inappropriate, you need to prepare. If we have already offered prayers at the beginning of Lent, then we cannot sit down at the table. Therefore, traditional Maslenitsa festivities are not very appropriate here - and in general this is not the best tradition, because this week should be strict, especially at the end.

Today marks the end of Maslenitsa week, which means the time for hearty, rich food on the table is coming to an end. Traditionally, the last day of Maslenitsa is called Forgiveness Sunday. This year it fell on February 18th.

On this day, you must definitely ask for forgiveness from all your loved ones and acquaintances, especially if you seriously offended someone. In addition, today you cannot refuse forgiveness to other people, let go of your grievances!

On Forgiveness Sunday, people go to visit their relatives and honor their parents. Today, by the way, it is forbidden to consume dairy products.

But still, the main thing is to cleanse your soul of grievances and repent of your dreams in front of other people. In addition, it is customary to come to the graves of the deceased and bring pancakes to apologize to those with whom it is no longer possible to see.

Be sure to pray to God today, and this light video will help you!

Congratulations on Forgiveness Sunday

Today I will ask everyone for forgiveness
For phrases, actions, my behavior.
And if you keep a grudge in your soul,
Please forgive me for this insult!
And may souls be purified on this day,
After all, no one needs litter in this life.
May God forgive us all our sins.
I wish that He saves everyone from troubles!

The bright holiday has arrived!
This Sunday
Before God you have
I'm sorry.
Let's forget all the bad things
And we'll leave behind
Let only bright moments
They are waiting on the path of life!

I'm sorry for everything
How could I offend you?
May God forgive, as they say.
Excuse me now.
I forgive you for all the years,
I don't hold grudges
And if you forgive me,
I’ll say “thank you” to you!

Happy Forgiveness Sunday
All grievances go away.
Forgive me today.
I'll forgive. We'll be even.
May spring warm you
This day is so good
And luck, happiness, joy
They'll come and surprise you in no time!

In a bright moment and hour of forgiveness
With the help of the Lord
I ask you to forget the grievances
Becoming freer from sins.
Let a ray of God's Grace
Will disperse the clouds in the soul
And all of us sinners in the world
It will teach you to love and forgive.

Happy holiday to you! Forgive and ask for forgiveness yourself)

On the day of Forgiveness Sunday, if a person asks: “Forgive me,” it is customary for Orthodox Christians to answer: “God will forgive, and I forgive,” that is, thereby making it clear to the person asking that God forgives first of all, and the one who is asked forgiveness - he himself is not without sin, and judging anyone is not Christian.

That is, when a person says: “And I forgive,” he means that he does not hold grudges. After all, the one asking for forgiveness is not asking for an investigation of his guilt, not a trial against him, but makes it clear that he admits that he was wrong and now regrets his action.

When asking for forgiveness on Forgiveness Sunday, what should you answer: God will forgive, but a person may sincerely not hold a grudge against the offender

The one who forgives does not require any action to correct the situation or repay the debt, he simply does not judge. According to psychologist Andrei Fomin, this is precisely what Christian forgiveness is.

Dimitry Struev, archpriest, has a slightly different opinion on this matter. He believes that if there is nothing to forgive a person for, it is better to say: “There is nothing for me to forgive you for.” The clergyman considers this a more correct answer for reasons of not once again taking the name of God in vain, as required by the third commandment.

If the one who has not been forgiven begins to argue that one must respond as expected, one should restrainedly remind him that a formal attitude towards the fact that one should reconcile before fasting is a dangerous matter. Only this should be reminded meekly and with love for the one asking for forgiveness.

After all, it may turn out that there was no reason for mutual forgiveness, but because of a short verbal skirmish it may appear.

When asking for forgiveness on Forgiveness Sunday, what should you answer: there is nothing worse than hypocrisy and a deceitful “I forgive”

Another clergyman, Mikhail Zaitsev, also an archpriest, offers to understand this issue more deeply. In his opinion, the worst thing is when, when asking for forgiveness on Forgiveness Sunday, people become hypocrites and remain insincere to each other in their hearts.

Zaitsev talks about two types of forgiveness that should be distinguished: the desire for the person asking to be forgiven by God and one’s own forgiveness. He gives the following example: a certain Nikolai was offended by Vladimir. He acted meanly towards Nikolai, and now he asks to forgive him.

Nikolai does not feel the strength to sincerely forgive (although he mentally understands that this needs to be done). But Nikolai at the same time believes that God will forgive Vladimir and sincerely wishes this for him, saying: “God will forgive.”

There are many examples, the clergyman believes, when a person was deeply reconciled with God, but his loved ones did not understand him and could not forgive him. When they turn to him with a request to forgive, he can answer: “I was never offended by you and there is nothing for me to forgive you for, but may God forgive you.”

The archpriest believes that you need to be more careful and try not to take the name of God in vain: the words “God will forgive”, “Lord have mercy!” and the like. People often spout these phrases without any prayerful meaning, which leads to a simple shaking of the air. Although, the priest believes, sometimes even such a “forgive” has to be rejoiced.

Priest Mikhail Zaitsev explains that when saying: “God will forgive,” one must strive to put into this phrase one’s sincere desire for the person asking to be forgiven by God. This will mean the desire for two people to sincerely reconcile before the face of God.

And for the specific example with Nikolai and Vladimir, the archpriest believes, Nikolai, who was not ready for forgiveness, should have responded to Vladimir’s request to forgive him: “You understand that, due to my weakness, I cannot sincerely forgive you now, but I ask God to forgive you!".

Such an impulse can bring two people closer together than a hypocritical “forgiveness” with a stone in one’s bosom, as well as pretending that everything is fine.

For Orthodox Christians, Forgiveness Sunday is not just a way to express their emotions and cleanse their souls of sins by asking loved ones for forgiveness, but also the final stage of preparation before Great Lent. A ritual known from childhood is a special sacrament that must be approached with an open soul and sincerity, otherwise complete redemption will not occur.

And only by reconciling with relatives and enemies who have been seriously offended is it possible to find peace and open the soul to reconciliation with God. Therefore, it is so important to know how to respond to “Sorry” on Forgiveness Sunday.

History of tradition

The holiday itself came to us after an important event for Christians - the ascent of Jesus the Savior to Golgotha, his death and resurrection. The apostles, left on earth by God, who atoned for the sins of the believers, introduced this new custom to instill in people love for the Almighty and teach them to properly communicate with Him.

In the past, people often gathered for sermons, services in small churches after idle festivities on social events. Having come to the temple with such an attitude, they could not perceive the words of the clergy at the proper level and tune in to the right mood. Their souls, filled with joy, and their stomachs knowing fullness, inspired Christians with completely different feelings and worldly desires.

Fact! Even earlier, Jewish priests in Egypt went into the desert to fast. Knowing that not everyone would return home after surviving the hermitage, they gathered together to apologize for all the evil they had caused during the year. So you could safely go to dangerous path, without worrying that unresolved matters will remain behind.

That is why followers of the teachings of Jesus introduced the custom of fasting and praying several days before confession and visiting the temple of God. Then the custom of not only spiritual cleansing was introduced, but also restrictions on attending entertainment events. The freed time is devoted to prayer and rethinking actions committed in the past. It is at this moment that the Christian, most detached from the world, realizes his sins before others.

Having passed preparatory stage and having come to terms with what he has done, the Orthodox must tune in to a special mood that will allow him to forgive himself and find reconciliation with the Lord. It is for this reason that before the start of Lent, people not only walk on Maslenitsa. On Forgiveness Sunday, every layman not only apologizes for the wrongs caused in the past, but also remembers how to reconcile with others and respond to “Forgive.” So, starting with cleansing the soul from the burden, you can begin to prepare the body for the Easter holiday.

Important words

When asking for forgiveness, it is necessary not only to pronounce phrases, but also to send the person an emotional message filled with repentance and sincerity. Then the ritual of forgiveness will begin to act as it should, and the interlocutor will feel that there is no hypocrisy and falsehood in the request, of which there is too much in the world around us.

Important! It's best to apologize in simple words. Poems and pictures are formal, empty phrases. Only honest admission of specific mistakes will help earn redemption.

A Christian for whom the holiday of Forgiveness Sunday is significant must understand how to respond to “Forgive.” After all, when pronouncing an answer, it is necessary not only to voice the words, but also to put a spiritual impulse into them. In this case, the forgiver will also be forgiven of his sins, and he will become closer to the Savior.

When pronouncing the cherished words “God will forgive” or answering in your own way, you need to do it sincerely. Having said a phrase familiar to everyone from childhood, you need to try to let go of all grievances forever and continue to live in the present, and not in the past. There is no greater sin than saying the words “I forgive” and then, several years later, remembering past grievances to those to whom an apology was made and who were released in peace. Such an attitude towards custom will cause the wrath of God and bring many trials into life to atone for the sin committed.

Church ministers often point out these subtleties when going through the last stage of preparation for Lent. They repeatedly repeat that sins that an Orthodox cannot forgive are forgiven by God. That is why the classic response phrase consists of two parts:

“God will forgive” reminds us that only the Almighty is able to see, sincerely, whether a person has repented of his deeds. Even if a person is not able to let go of evil towards the offender, the Savior is always ready to accept someone who realized that he did wrong and is ready to atone for his guilt. Admitting mistakes and repenting is the first thing a person should do before starting to observe Lent.

“And I forgive” is an equally important part of the phrase. She carries deep meaning. These words should only be spoken by someone who is truly ready to let go of evil on the offender, having accomplished a spiritual feat. Humility is one of the most important virtues, and those who know it understand that everything is in the hands of God. There is no need to pollute your soul with hatred of your neighbor who has caused harm. But if you don’t have the strength to do this, then at least you shouldn’t lie hypocritically. It is better to honestly limit yourself to only wishing forgiveness from the Almighty.

Why on Forgiveness Sunday, when a person says “Forgive me!” Is it customary to answer “God will forgive!”?

To the words “Forgive me,” Orthodox Christians sincerely and from the bottom of their hearts respond, “God will forgive and I forgive,” testifying that the Lord has forgiven the offense caused, and man does not hold evil.

When a person asks for a petition, he is not asking for a trial, not to completely sort out the situation, but admits that he brought pain and regrets it. And the other, forgiving, understands that the debts may remain, but he also does not judge. The words “God will forgive” mean that I am a sinner, I am not your judge. This is the essence of Christian forgiveness.

Psychologist Andrey Fomin

I think it won’t be a sin to answer “I have nothing to forgive you for” instead of “God will forgive” in cases where there is really nothing for it. This is better than once again breaking the third commandment by taking the name of God in vain. As a rule, the “unforgiven” in such a situation tries to prove that “this is how it should be”; in response to this, we can gently remind you of the danger of a formal attitude towards the need for reconciliation before fasting. But only if this reminder is truly meek and loving, otherwise the reason for mutual forgiveness that was missing may immediately appear.

Archpriest Dimitry Struev

Hypocrisy, of course, does happen, and we should be careful about it.

But it all depends on how we forgive. It is necessary to distinguish between two facets - personal forgiveness and the desire for God to forgive the offender. Suppose Denis did something mean to me, asks me for forgiveness, and I don’t have the strength to forgive him now (although I understand that this needs to be done), but I am sure that if he repents, God will forgive him, and I will forgive him I sincerely wish. There are two different sources forgiveness: my personal (which is also important) and God’s own. Many people, we know, have been deeply reconciled with God without ever receiving the forgiveness of loved ones who did not understand them. Sometimes they say to me: “Forgive me!”, and it happens that you answer: “I was not offended by you, I have nothing to forgive you, but may God forgive you.”

But how often these holy words are spoken in vain! “God will forgive”, “Save, Lord!” - we pour out without investing in them prayer appeal. But without this - the main thing, prayer - they turn into shaking the air. Although... sometimes you can rejoice at this “sorry.”

When saying “God will forgive,” it is important to try to put into these words a sincere desire for the Lord to truly forgive the person: “I want us to be reconciled, to find peace among ourselves before God.”

I also think that if you answer a request for forgiveness honestly: “Denis, understand, due to my weakness I cannot yet forgive you from my heart, but I ask God to forgive you!”, this will bring us closer together than a hypocritical “I’m sorry” or pretending that nothing happened.

Archpriest Mikhail ZAYTSEV