How to choose godparents for a child: rules, advice, responsibilities of godparents, what godparents need to know. Who can and cannot be a godfather or godmother at the baptism of a boy and a girl? At what age and how many times can you be a godfather, godmother

How to baptize a child correctly, what rules to follow.

In every child's life, the most important people are his parents. After all, parents are the people who give us life, love, care and attention. This fact is undeniable and known to all of us since childhood. However, we should not forget about spiritual parents, or, as we used to call them, godparents.

The question regarding the choice of godparents and the baptism procedure itself has always been and remains relevant, since both the godfather and the godmother are given to the child alone and for life. Moreover, it is spiritual parents who face the most important task - to raise their child in accordance with generally accepted standards of morality and, of course, faith. Well, today we will talk in detail about all the nuances of the baptism procedure and choosing godparents, so that you no longer have to worry about this.

What are godparents for?

How many people know why a baby needs godparents? How many people think about this question? Unfortunately no.

Most couples, when choosing godparents for their children, think about the wrong things at all.
It is customary for us to take people who are well known to us as godfathers. Most often these are friends or relatives. Not the last factor when choosing godparents is their financial condition, while you need to pay attention to completely different things.
It must be said that talking about the question: “Why are godparents needed?” comes after the answer to the question: “Why baptize a child at all?” Agree, it is quite logical. This is where we will start.
According to Orthodox beliefs, every person comes into this world with original sin. We are talking about the violation of that very prohibition by Adam and Eve. So this original sin is a kind of congenital disease, without getting rid of which, the baby will not be able to grow up healthy and happy.
This sin can only be removed by accepting faith. Many parents try to baptize their baby as soon as possible, but in principle they do not understand why they need to do it this way. Here is your answer, children are baptized as soon as possible so that they are with God, and he bestows them with all kinds of blessings.

Now let's move on to the question of why we need godparents:

As a rule, every person is baptized almost immediately after birth. Due to their age, a child, and in principle even a teenager, cannot objectively assess the importance of this step, and, indeed, cannot follow this faith, because they simply do not know it.
This is exactly why we all need godparents. Godparents receive babies directly from the font and become full-fledged spiritual parents (godparents, godparents).
Second parents must teach the child to live “by the rules.” In this case, we are talking not so much about the rules of life in society, but about the foundations of the Orthodox faith. Godparents must guide the child on the right path, take care of him and love him as their own child, and if his godson ever stumbles, give him a helping hand. Also, adoptees should always pray for their godson and ask the Lord to be favorable to him.
Based on the above, we can conclude that when choosing godparents for your child, you need to look not at the availability of money and opportunities, but at what kind of life these people lead and whether they are actually believers.

How to choose a godfather and godmother for a child: rules, who can be godfather, godmother and at what age?

When choosing a godfather for a child, few people think about what he should be like. We are more inclined to evaluate the future recipient according to other criteria: a friend, relative, responsible or not, lives in this city and will be able to see the child often or not, etc. However, the church puts forward its own rules and they must be followed.

IMPORTANT: Of course, the godfather must be baptized. This condition is mandatory and is not subject to any discussion. After all, how can an unbaptized person who does not believe in God and, accordingly, does not understand the commandments by which everyone who came to this earth must live, teach all this to a small child? The answer is obvious.

Moreover, the recipient must be a church member. However, in our time, few people even know the meaning of this word. In simple words, a churchgoer is considered to be a person who is not just baptized, but who actually believes, lives as a Christian, and tries to follow all the fundamentals of his faith.

Regarding age. There are no clear boundaries here, but the church is inclined to believe that the recipient must be an adult. Why is that? The point here is not about 18 years, but about the fact that adults are considered to be old enough and responsible enough to take such a serious step. By the way, we are not talking about civil coming of age, but about church coming of age. Despite this, you can become a godfather earlier, but this issue must be discussed with the priest, who will give permission for this.

The godmother should be chosen in the same way as the godfather:

The spiritual mother must be a believing Orthodox Christian, and accordingly she must be baptized.
It is also necessary to consider how a woman lives. Does she believe in God, does she go to church, can she raise her child as a believing Orthodox Christian.
In addition to church restrictions, future parents should pay attention to other things. When choosing a godmother for your baby, you must understand that in fact this woman will be a second mother for your child and, accordingly, you must completely trust her.
You should not take unfamiliar or dubious people as godparents for your baby. Godparents must be responsible and trusted people.

Who should you not take as godparents to your child?

If you are very concerned about this issue, then we recommend that you consult with a priest; he, like no one else, knows the answers to all your questions. However, generally speaking, the church prohibits taking such people as godparents:

A monk or a nun. Despite this, the priest can become the child’s adopter.
Natural parents. It would seem that who else but the parents themselves can give the child the best education and help? But no, parents are strictly forbidden to baptize their children.
A woman and a man who are married. The Church not only does not approve, but strictly forbids ignoring this rule. Because people who baptize a baby become relatives on a spiritual level and, accordingly, they will not be able to lead a worldly life after that. It is also forbidden for already established godfathers to marry - this is considered a huge sin.
It is clear that people who suffer from mental disorders and are seriously ill cannot be accepted as recipients.
And one more rule, which we talked about briefly earlier. Age of godparents. In addition to coming of age, there are two more age thresholds: a girl must reach 14 years old, and a guy must reach 15. In principle, there is no need to talk much about this condition, because it is already clear that a child cannot raise a child, and therefore take people of such age as godparents categories are not possible.

How many times can you be a godfather, godmother? Is it possible to refuse to be a godfather or godmother?

The Church does not give a clear answer to the question of how many times a child can be baptized, and this is quite logical:

Fatherhood is a very big responsibility and the more children you baptize, the greater this responsibility becomes. That is why a person must answer such a question for himself. Ask yourself the question: “Will I be able to give this godson as much attention as he needs?”, “Do I have enough spiritual and physical strength to raise another child?”, “Won’t I have to be torn between all the godchildren?” . When you honestly give yourself answers to such questions, then you will understand whether you can baptize another baby or whether you will have to refuse.
By the way, many people ask the question: “Is it possible to refuse to be a godfather, godmother?” The answer is that it is possible, moreover, it is even necessary if you do not want to do this or cannot for some reason.

The person who has been offered to baptize a child must clearly understand that after the Sacrament of baptism he will become a family member for the child, his second parent, and this implies enormous responsibility. It’s not just coming to a birthday party, wishing Happy New Year or St. Nicholas, no, it means constantly participating in the child’s life, developing him, helping him in all his endeavors. Not ready for such responsibility? Refuse immediately, because this is not considered a sin or something shameful, but becoming a recipient and not fulfilling your direct duties is a church sin, for which God will definitely ask.

Is it possible to baptize a child without godparents, godmother, godfather, with only one godfather?

In ancient times, only one godparent baptized a child. Boys - man, girls - woman. This is due to the fact that once upon a time everyone was baptized as adults and, accordingly, in order not to be embarrassed, they took a person of the same sex as their godparents.

Now, when baptism occurs at a stage when the baby is still completely immature, two recipients of different sexes can baptize him at once.
At the request of the parents, either only a man or only a woman can baptize a newborn. For boys it is a man, for girls it is a woman. The Church does not prohibit this practice; moreover, initially everything was done this way.
There are situations when parents want to perform the Sacrament of baptism without any recipients at all, and this is quite possible. In this case, they are baptized without godparents at all. However, initially this nuance should be discussed with the priest, so that later you do not have any surprises.

Is it possible to be a godfather or godmother to two or several children in one family?

The Church gives a very succinct answer to this question. It is possible and necessary if it was offered to you and you want it. There are no prohibitions against being a godfather/godmother for two children in a family at once, and this phenomenon is quite common. The main thing when making such a decision is to objectively assess your capabilities and if you are ready for such responsibility, go ahead.

Can a pregnant, unmarried woman be godmother to someone else’s child?

How much controversy this question causes, and superstitions too, by the way:

For some reason, we generally believe that a pregnant woman does not have the right to baptize her baby. However, this assertion is completely unfounded. The Church in no way prohibits an expectant mother from becoming the adopter of a newborn; moreover, it is generally accepted that this is even beneficial for a pregnant woman. Therefore, you should not believe in prejudices; if you are faced with such a situation and do not know how to do the right thing, just contact the church, they will explain everything to you in detail.
The same applies to an unmarried woman. The fact that a woman is not married does not mean that she cannot be a good adopter for the baby.

Can a grandfather or grandmother of a grandson or granddaughter be the godfather and godmother? Can a sibling, sibling, sibling be a godfather or godmother of a sister or brother?

Most often, we choose our friends and acquaintances as godparents, but some people express a desire to have their children baptized by their relatives.

The Orthodox faith does not prohibit grandparents from becoming godparents for their grandchildren. Moreover, purely from an educational point of view, this is very good. Grandparents have lived their lives, have rich life experience, and grandchildren are sacred to them, so they will definitely be able to raise a newborn in accordance with all the rules and foundations of Christianity.
The ban on baptism did not affect the brothers/sisters of a newborn baby. The Church allows and approves the baptism of children by their siblings and cousins.

Everyone knows that younger children always want to be like their older brothers and sisters and imitate them in every possible way. In this case, the subject of imitation will have to help his godson in every possible way and set only a positive example.
The only thing worth thinking about is the age of possible godparents. After all, recipients must be responsible and relatively experienced people.

Can a husband and wife of the same child be godparents? Can godparents get married?

The church is very strict regarding this issue. It is strictly forbidden for a child to be baptized by a married couple. Moreover, future godfathers are also prohibited from marrying in the future. In simple words, between people who baptize the same baby there should only be a spiritual connection (godparents), but not an “earthly” one (marriage). It cannot be any other way in this case.

Conversation before baptism for godparents: what does the priest ask before baptism?

Few people know, but before the Sacrament of baptism itself, future recipients must attend special conversations. In practice, we can see that sometimes such conversations are not held at all or are held, but not the number of times that is necessary.

As a rule, during such conversations, the priest explains to the future godparents the foundations of the Orthodox faith and talks about what responsibilities they will have in relation to the godson.
Those who do not know the basics of Christianity are advised to read the Holy Scriptures. This will help future spiritual parents better understand faith and, accordingly, understand what is required of them in raising a child.
The priest also tells that the recipients must endure a 3-day fast, and after that confess their sins and receive communion.
Directly at the Sacrament of Baptism itself, the priest asks the future godparents whether they believe in God, whether they renounce the unclean and whether they are ready to be godparents.

Christening of a boy and a girl: requirements, rules, responsibilities and what you need to know for a godmother?

If you have been offered to become a child’s godmother, it is a great honor and responsibility. Therefore, you must know the following rules and requirements for you:

Of course, the main requirement for a woman who will baptize a child is to be baptized and to sincerely believe in God.
Next, a few days before the celebration itself, you need to confess and receive communion. You should also refrain from any carnal pleasures. And besides all this, you should know the “Creed” prayer. You will read this prayer at baptism only if you are baptizing a girl.

Your responsibilities to the baby as a godmother:

The godmother takes responsibility for raising the child
Must teach him to live in accordance with Christian rules and principles
I must pray for him before God and help the baby in everything
Also, the godmother should take the child to church, not forget about the day of his birth and baptism
And, of course, I should be a good example for him

Besides this, what else does a godmother need to know? You can probably only add responsibilities regarding organizational issues:

It is generally accepted that it is the spiritual mother who must bring the child a kryzhma (a special baptismal towel) and a baptismal set, which, as a rule, consists of a shirt, a hat and socks, or panties, a jacket, a hat and socks.
It is important to know that the kryzhma must be new; it is in this towel that the priest will place the newly baptized child. This attribute is a kind of protection for the child and can later be used as a talisman.

Christening of a boy and a girl: requirements, rules, responsibilities and what you need to know for a godfather?

It is also important for future godfathers to know certain rules and responsibilities associated with the baptism ceremony of a baby:

Just like with the mother, the godfather must be an Orthodox Christian and be baptized.
The main duty of a spiritual father is to be a worthy example, this is most important if the child being baptized is a boy. He must see before him a worthy example of masculine behavior. Also, the godfather must take the godson to church and teach him to live in peace with all the people around him.
It is accepted that the future recipient should buy the baby a cross and a chain or thread on which the cross can be attached. It would also be a good idea to purchase a baptismal icon. It is the godfather who must pay all the costs of baptism, if any.
It is better to solve all these worries and troubles in advance, so that later you do not have to do everything at the last moment.

Christening of a boy and a girl: what should a godmother do at a christening?

It is immediately necessary to clarify that the future godmother must be present at the christening of a girl, but the godfather can be present in absentia.

Directly at the christening itself, it is the godmother who will receive the goddaughter after immersion in the font. Initially, most likely, the godfather will hold the baby.
After the child is given to the godmother, she must dress the girl in a new outfit.
Next, the successor holds the baby both while the priest reads prayers and when he performs Chrismation.
Sometimes priests ask to read a prayer, but most often they do it themselves.

Everything will be the same with the boy, but after dipping him into the font, he will be handed over to his godfather. Also, when a boy is baptized, he must be brought behind the altar (after 40 days from birth).

Christening of a boy and a girl: what should a godfather do at a christening?

The responsibilities of a godfather are not much different from those of a godmother:

The spiritual father can also hold the baby.
After the priest receives answers to all traditionally asked questions, the recipient may be asked to recite a special prayer. But again, most likely the priest himself will do it.
The godfather helps undress the child before immersing him in water, and then dresses him. If the child being baptized is a girl, then after this ceremony she will be handed over to her godmother, but if it is a boy, then her godfather will hold her.

Is it possible to change godparents, godfather, godmother for a child, boy, girl? ?

All people come into this world only once, and exactly the same number of times are allowed to be baptized.

The Church prohibits changing godparents; moreover, in fact, there is no such possibility, because there is no such ritual.
That is why attention has been repeatedly drawn to the fact that baptizing a child is a huge responsibility, which you cannot simply take up and refuse afterwards.
Godparents do not change under any circumstances. Even if over time you stopped communicating with your godfathers, even if they left and cannot see the baby often, they still remain his godparents and are responsible for him.

How many godparents should a child have? Can there be two godmothers and two godfathers?

We discussed this issue a little earlier:

Nowadays, most often two people are taken as godparents: the godfather and the godmother. However, you can do it differently.
You can take only your godfather or godmother as your godfather. At the same time, it is worth remembering that for a newborn baby it is more important to have a receiver, but for a boy it is still more important to have a receiver.
If for some reason you don’t want to take godparents at all, or you simply don’t have anyone to take, then you can baptize a child without any godparents at all.

Moreover, you can ask the priest to become your baby’s godfather, but you must take into account the fact that it is unlikely that a person distant from your family will be able to pay due attention to the child.
Can there be 2 godmothers or 2 godfathers - a rhetorical question. This must be clarified directly with the church in which you want to baptize the child and with the priest who will conduct the ceremony. Such cases are known, but different churches, no matter how strange it may sound, can give you a different answer.

Can a Muslim be godfather to an Orthodox Christian?

The answer to this question is very obvious. Of course not. After all, how can a Muslim teach a child the Orthodox faith? No way. The only thing a Muslim can do is stand in church during the sacrament of baptism, if it is performed on his relative.

As you can see, the issue regarding baptism and the choice of godparents is very relevant and is being actively discussed. There are many rules and prejudices, which in our time for some reason stand on the same level as church customs, which is why if you don’t know what to do correctly in a given situation, contact the church, they will explain to you in detail all the points that interest you.