What should a modern man be like? Reflections on modern men Qualities of an ideal man.

Men often accuse women of wanting to find a partner with money and social status. How else? Girls want to feel safe when it comes time to give birth to a child and then raise him. And in general, the desire to find a rich man is already embedded somewhere in the subconscious, because for centuries the fate of the fairer sex depended on their husbands. If a girl is successful, then she will especially not want to drag along a guy who is so dependent that he cannot even feed himself.

But who are the men themselves looking for? Do you think a gray mouse who knows how to behave and cook is enough for them? We decided to see who men are looking for and what requirements they have for women, and to be honest, we went a little crazy. Girls who are waiting for a prince can somehow be understood. But we cannot understand men who are not even looking for, but waiting for princesses. We have collected the most “juicy” excerpts about ideal women. It seems to us that such people almost do not exist.

The first participant is Maxim. He is 18 years old and is finishing his first year of medical school. He already sees himself as a “great savior of lives,” although what his fate will be is unknown. He is a supporter of serious relationships. He believes that his future chosen one must come to terms with the nuances of his character, and also be better than him, so that he can develop. His future wife must have these qualities.

Healthy body and clean thoughts

— I try to take care of my health and lead a healthy lifestyle. I go in for sports, watch my kilograms, eat healthy food, which I prefer to cook myself, and try not to fall under harmful, toxic influences. That is, tobacco smoke makes me sick, I don’t even know the taste of beer, I have only a vague idea of ​​what drugs are, I hate hearing obscene language, and certainly no one hears it from me. In general, these are the basic requirements that I have for a girl.

Any person should be intellectually developed

The girl must be well educated and smart. It will annoy me if a girl doesn't know what "prevail" means or can't remind me of the author of The Old Man and the Sea. I will secretly despise her, and this is no longer conducive to the development of relations.

Everything should be spoiled in moderation

A girl shouldn't be vulgar. Well, maybe within reason. And she should have a decent upbringing. I can’t stand “women” who indulge in “peasant” behavior, behave impudently, boorishly, and can loudly and publicly say words that are disgusting to my hearing and tongue.

Many people can chat all day, but only a few can talk all day

Since I am a taciturn introvert, I am looking for a girl who will be the complete opposite of me in this regard. I like to listen, but I don’t like to be the first to initiate and lead a dialogue. Therefore, a girl should be a chatterbox, but with brains!

A tree that cannot withstand the onslaught of waves will not grow by the sea

Accessibility is a sign of the rot hidden within

I believe that a girl should not be frivolous and easily agree to everything. Sex life is important for any guy. But it will be more correct if we make the decision to move the developing relationship to a new level together. For me, sex will mean that our relationship with each other has reached a sufficient level of trust (ideally, when I see a certificate of her full health).

A person must be able to provide for himself

If my girlfriend begins to systematically ask me for money for some purchases, asks me to do this, serve this, go somewhere... then I will start looking for a replacement for her. Just walking under heels was not enough! Drive such people away from you. I will give everything I can to her without asking - if she deserves it.

The girl must be supported from the inside by a hard rod

A girl has a sensitive nature and must be able to understand people’s conditions and help exactly when it is needed. When I'm not in the mood, I'm irritable and can get angry and say something rude and harsh if I'm offended. The partner should have enough insight and intelligence to see all this without words, not bother with hasty questions and not make me nervous again. I will calm down and tell you everything myself when no one gets hurt.

Infantilism is only cute from the outside

I look for the moral character of an adult in girls. And a girl who is too childish contains little that is pleasant when it comes to serious topics. And the older people are, the more such topics and problems there are, and it is necessary to take a sensible approach to solving them. Together. And the child is not able to help with this.

Finding something to cry about in a comedy is almost an art.

A girl should be able to beautifully hold pain within herself and hide her resentment, and, on the contrary, not be afraid to show her bitterness in the form of liters of tears. 50% of these tears will be caused by me, and the remaining 50% will be caused by her own impressions of life, thoughts, books, films and cartoons. But she shouldn’t cry because of my sarcasm.

External beauty is not necessary, but without it you can’t

In general, you can find something beautiful in most girls. But this “something” should be noticeable, and not hidden under mountains of shortcomings. As a creative person, I react painfully when I notice obvious asymmetry in facial features, disproportion of the figure, and serious defects. A girl shouldn't have all this. It should not be full, devoid of grace. She should exude femininity.

Second participant Anatoly, 39 years old

Beauty

Every normal man who is not overcome by complexes will tell you that he would like to see his wife beautiful. And the talk that “it’s what’s inside that matters” is only good when applied to pumpkins and watermelons. Once I watched a program on television. There, kids of 5-6 years old said that they wanted a “beautiful wife.” The kids have grown up. The desires remain. A beautiful wife is like a beautiful car. It's a pleasure to drive and everyone is jealous. Another thing is that everyone has their own canons of beauty. For some, a nose with a hump is a sign of “breed”, but for others it is a deformity.

Mind

Only those who don’t know that the Earth is round want a stupid wife. A smart wife is an adviser and ally, this is the haven where you can always go for repairs, and at the same time take on board the necessary reserves of wisdom. However, this important quality should be accepted with a slight reservation. Most husbands, after some time of living together with smart wives, begin to subconsciously want “something simpler.” A wife, endowed with intelligence, and endowed with this quality in abundance, will someday make her husband, as they say, stop playing the role of first violin. The wife must be smart. But the husband still needs to be a little smarter. A little bit, but smarter...

Calm

Anyone who has ever heard hysterical female screams will never want to have a lifelong friend with an unbalanced character. It is necessary for the wife to endure all her husband’s bad moods, all his failures at work, all the mornings “on the wrong foot,” all the late returns. She endured and showed Olympic calm, balancing the nervousness of the “strong half”.

Lack of jealousy

The wife should not focus on such “little things” as the kiss of her husband from a “childhood friend” she accidentally met on the street, cell phone calls and correspondence on the Internet. When she sees a lipstick mark on her husband’s shirt, the first thought of such a woman will be the thought that there will be no crowding in the transport, and an SMS with the mention of “babe” that came to her husband’s mobile phone should give birth to an angry tirade in the woman’s head about... the imperfections of mobile operators , mistakenly sending such messages to the wrong address...

Sense of style

Who likes women wearing red shoes with a green bag? For us, who do not live with wizened models who dress up in crazy clothes for the amusement of the public, it is very important that our wife be our adornment, and not a scarecrow at which our acquaintances will laugh.

Sexuality

The controversial thing about sexuality is that the concept is quite fickle. After all, wives often have lovers precisely because for the legal husband, the woman next to him ceases to be as sexually attractive as during the courtship period...

It is impossible to fit all the qualities necessary, according to men, for an “ideal wife” into one article. I voiced the main ones. There is also a sense of humor, a love for animals, the ability to listen, and even the ability to sacrifice herself for her husband.

And a few more short opinions. Follow all these tips or remain on your own, dear girls, decide for yourself!

Vladimir Logvin, 29 years old

“I will marry, with my eyes closed, someone who will share the following statement: a woman is a support in a man’s life, accepting his life values.” For me, this is, first of all, a beautiful and self-sufficient woman who is ready to care, love and respect. Without a doubt, great sex and delicious food play an important role - how could it be otherwise. I want to see a woman around me who has a favorite thing, a hobby, who knows how to properly manage her time and money. And in the future, a good mother for our children. I think this is the kind of woman who does not give in to despondency, because there are so many pleasures and joy in life. Yes, you can do anything for her!

Timur Tuzhibaev, 34 years old

- I can roll out a whole list of wishes on a couple of sheets, but if someone hooks me emotionally, all these wishes will go to hell! The most important thing I value in a woman is her readiness for patriarchy. I'm not just talking about the man being in charge, I'm talking about responsibility. Everything lies on the shoulders of the man. Of course, I want to see an attractive girl around me who takes care of her appearance and health. And women's wisdom is the bomb! No, I don’t want to use the words “mind” or “intelligence”, because we are talking about something completely different - about a woman’s ability to motivate her man to hunt “mammoths”. I want to live for this one and throw the skins of the best animals at her feet.

Regarding the question quite often asked by women: “Why don’t men want to get married?”, I give them a very simple recommendation. Right now, go to the mirror, imagine yourself as a man and see on your forehead the fiery red inscription “DANGER!”

What do you want to do? That's right - run! Below we will talk in detail about the fact that even the mere thought of dominance deprives a woman of attractiveness in the eyes of a man. Here I want to say that most men are not fools, they have inner wisdom, logic and the ability to do mathematical calculations. They know how to feel the desire to use them even when a woman does not want to admit it to herself. And they can also compare the pros and cons: weigh the bonuses they will receive from more or less stable sex and dinner, and the disadvantages of a voluntary imprisonment called “marriage,” accompanied by daily “sawing.” Most likely, their verdict will be this: why bind myself to unprofitable obligations if I can continue to receive all this from other “players” of such a rich marriage market with much smaller investments?

The course of a man’s thought will develop in a completely different way if he meets a woman worth her weight in gold. I’m not saying that he won’t be visited by doubts; any change, even for the better, is a stressful factor for a person. However, these doubts will be of a completely different kind. The main thing is that he will understand (or even, rather, feel) that he is acquiring something truly valuable, important and expensive in life. And what he sacrifices (for example, “freedom”) is a minimal or even insignificant price for a magnificent “asset”.

The main difficulty for a woman who decides to work on herself in order to become an invaluable asset is that she needs to change not superficially, but deeply. In the first few weeks of dating, you can play anyone in the “promotion” mode, but sooner or later they will figure you out. But master at least 50% of effective skills at the reflex level, is a completely different picture...

If the issue of creating a family with a worthy man is pressing for you at the moment, you simply must learn to think in “client categories,” that is, like a man.

Try for a moment to become a man who analyzes your future together for pitfalls.

See all the fears, doubts, concerns and hidden traps, inflated by his imagination to the limits of the universe, waiting immediately after the last piece of wedding cake is eaten.

See yourself through his eyes. What elements of your behavior formed the ill-fated inscription “danger”?

• Maybe you asked him to do something, hinting that you would be disappointed in him if he didn't do it (potential guilt is a danger!)?
• Don't you call him by his name a lot?
• Did you pout (just for a second) when he left somewhere in the evening? There can be many reasons.
• Think about it, such “dissociation” will be useful in any case. Better yet, write down on a separate piece of paper all the advantages that he gains by getting married, as well as the disadvantages of this decision.
• Pay attention: are you not overestimating yourself in some moments?..

If a man is of extreme value to you, he will not be interested in you

Much has already been said about the dangers of overestimating the importance of any phenomenon (including love and relationships), but modern women, with their characteristic tenacity, continue to step on this rake. There is a pattern in the theory of emotional intelligence: too strong emotions destroy the effectiveness of other mental processes. In other words, you can get what you want only by being in a calm, even state. Not sluggish, but calm.

By making the topic of relationships a fixed idea, you create a field around yourself that scares away worthy men. Why? Because you are demonstrating your weakness. Because, I repeat, despite popular calls at women’s trainings to become weak, men are able to love and respect only strong and self-sufficient women. Strong in spirit, and not in the art of manipulating a man, of course. Those who have enough faith and joy even when it is difficult. For example, in a situation of forced loneliness, divorce, conflict, and so on. A woman who can remain optimistic even in this case simply cannot be unattractive.

Men and pyramids

Out of professional curiosity, I attended quite a few trainings for women in my time and noticed the popularity of the idea of ​​a hierarchy of men in these programs. The Guru draws a pyramid, highlights the top of the head and says: “Here are the alpha males! There are few of them, they are rich and successful, and everyone below is cattle or, at best, managers who are unworthy of you!” Considering the global lack of self-confidence among women, this is a good move for a short-term increase in their self-esteem. However, this information is useless, and for some even harmful, in the long term. So, I had to meet women over 40, not the most pleasant in appearance, waiting for alpha males. The picture is surreal.

So where is the truth? In order to objectively understand this issue, let's move back to several hundred thousand years ago, when man as a biological species was just beginning his march to the status of a higher being. Then, in the harsh times of the Lower Paleolithic, the structure of the human herd really represented a clear hierarchy, at the top of which was the leader - the most aggressive and physically strong male - the “high-ranking one”. This is the terminology of scientific ethologists who study the work of human instincts, and since it has become so popular, we will use it too. Following the leader were the strongest and most aggressive warriors of a lower status - mid-ranking scales, but they had a real chance to take the place of the leader if something happened. Behind them are all the rest, low-ranking omegas who never dreamed of becoming a leader, but strived to become mid-ranking. The leader got the best pieces of the spoils and all the women he wanted. The mid-ranking ones were content with worse pieces, and exchanged sex with women who were no longer interested in the leader for food and care for the offspring (children of the high-ranking ones). Low-ranking people went to feed the tigers; they received practically no food, and they did not even dream of sex. Women naturally loved the highest-ranking males they could attract, and preferred to have offspring from them.

In our time, despite changes in the conditions of material existence, the animal (instinctive) desire of women for high-ranking men has not gone away, however, the evaluation criteria have changed, and high material status has become confused with high biological status.

Everything got mixed up, and women's instinctive programs “went crazy.” A rich, mining man in the modern world may completely lack the parameters of an alpha male, such as aggressiveness, assertiveness, conflict resistance, and women will only love his money, but not him.

But the much-desired alpha (in the biological sense of the term) can work as a simple taxi driver and enjoy enormous popularity among the fairer sex. Women will feel his dominance literally from the inside, but the woman’s mind will block this union.

Thus, squeezed in the grip of modern civilization, women find themselves unable to make a choice; they reject almost all men and are left alone. By the way, it is the longing for “animal” power that forces our compatriots to make sexual tours to Turkey and Egypt to seek adventures with the local male population.

As you understand, a man’s potential is not only the money he has. For a clearer understanding of what rank is in a biological sense, look at the characteristics given in the table and, as a practical task, check the boxes for the qualities inherent in your man (or ex-man).

It goes without saying that no woman likes weak men. This has a deep biological meaning. The offspring must be viable, so the father must be a strong, strong man. The weak and unviable should not reproduce, even despite the excess of women.

Therefore, in many, including some modern, cultures, polygamy is practiced. A viable (and therefore rich) man has many women and children from them. The communities of some animals are also organized in a similar way. Strong males have “harems”, and weak ones have no chance of mating with a female. Everything is logical and rational from a biological point of view.

In the context of all of the above, we can define the main task of a modern woman as reconciling her biological (instinct) and rational (mind) parts of the psyche, getting rid of deep intrapersonal conflict. The same harmony of soul and body. The article you are reading now will be a good help to you in this. Understanding is already a very, very much...

Who is he? A real man.

I would like to give the most important psychological formula for an ideal man, from the point of view of a normal (not “feminized”) woman.

Here it is: "my affectionate and gentle beast". There are three variables in this formula:

1) mine (which means it doesn’t change);

2) affectionate and gentle (loves and cares);

3) beast (capable of protecting).

Every element is vital. Complete or even partial loss of at least one of the three components of the formula leads to dissatisfaction with the man and a breakdown in relationships. Looking ahead, I will say that men who fully correspond to it do not exist in nature, since this formula, like any other mathematical construction, is an ideal construction. And, as you know, only the dead can be ideal. This is why most relationships in the modern world are dying...

What component of the formula do you think is most often lost in modern men? Oddly enough, it was the third one! And if in modern countries of the post-Soviet space men are simply afraid to show their natural “guts,” then in the West the situation is generally deplorable. There you can get a prison sentence just for trying to meet a girl at a disco! The instinct of self-preservation takes precedence over the sexual instinct, and the man turns into a rag, sluggishly waiting for the woman to take the initiative. Matriarchy, however...

What is a woman forced to do in this absurd situation in order to feel exactly the way Mother Nature intended her to be?

Naturally, she begins to provoke her man! Reproaches, manipulation, nagging, nagging, threats, jealousy and a hundred or two other techniques, I’m sure you can do it all. This behavior, hidden deep in the unconscious, is the true cause of most family conflicts. It is vital for a woman to feel a man’s ability to protect her, and at least in this relationship-destroying way, she tries to reanimate the dying beast. And when this unfortunate man begins to show signs of life, the woman becomes even more frightened, and... the conflict takes on a new quality.

Naturally, women did not learn provocative behavior today, because even in ancient times in Rus' it was believed that beating strengthened the family. As I already said, the instinct of a female constantly forces a woman to test a man for his, so to speak, psychological stability - to provoke. If he loses ground, then, again instinctively, the woman identifies the man as weak and unviable. If a man resists, using physical force in response to psychological provocation, then the woman’s instinct recognizes him as a strong and promising male capable of protecting her and her offspring. This explains the very common “paradoxical” situation in married couples, when a husband beats his wife, but she loves him. Personally, I in no way approve of such relationships and believe that a smart woman is able to find more environmentally friendly ways to make sure of her man’s strength. However, this is just a theory for now...

The bigger yours, the smaller the beast

As I said above, the formula “my affectionate and gentle beast,” although it dominates the minds of women, feeding their dreams of a “real man,” itself contains significant contradictions, the awareness of which is important for us to understand the essence of relationships in general. This inconsistency lies in mutually exclusive qualities, each of which, when manifested, reduces the strength of the other. Let's take, for example, that very beast. A real, wild animal cannot have an owner at all (a zoo, as you understand, does not count), much less a mistress! Accordingly, the “mine” parameter already suffers when the desired alpha maleness is manifested. If it’s yours, then it’s definitely not a beast! The beast also excludes romanticism and the pink snot of “affectionate and gentle”... What to do? First, decide what is more important to you in a man, and accept it with joy. Sorry, but in practice you are unlikely to be able to combine a leader and a henpecked man in one bottle...

Men's contribution to relationships

Many women may be under the impression that I believe that the responsibility for a successful marriage lies solely with the woman. Being prepared for the angry reaction of the modern “feminized” woman, I will still say: yes, I really think so! That is why I am now writing about vital female competencies. That is why I talk about a woman as a “relationship leader,” as her man’s main assistant on the way to achieving success in his male career. In his business with a capital letter. Not as a hostess, but as a director!

A man comes into a relationship to relax, not to work on it. It’s not a man’s business to work on relationships. I say this without a hint of irony. You, like a good woman, read books, think about how to improve everything, take care of yourself and don’t wonder what a man should do in a relationship! Once again, spelling it out: rest! Because if a man works in a relationship, then he will no longer get the “mammoth”. He simply won't have the strength for it. Socially and materially unlucky men are those who are at war at home, not at work...

Please take it for granted: a lot, almost everything, is only in your hands!

And that's good, because you can do everything right. If, of course, you want to.

Material matters

If we answer these questions objectively, we must say that yes, indeed, in the modern world there are men on whom it is unreasonable to rely on as future wonderful husbands. To distinguish a promising man from an unpromising one is the great wisdom of a woman, her undoubted talent. This requires not only intuition and life experience, but also modern methods of psychological forecasting. Compatibility in sexual, psychological, material, cultural and other spheres matters (there are even special psychological methods for calculating this compatibility - “marriage clearing”).

The principles for choosing a life partner should be based on the consent of the body as the main “instance of the unconscious”, and reason, as a force capable of protecting a person from thoughtless “primativism” (following instincts). Why is it important to use your mind? The fact is that when you choose with your heart (marker: “I love”), your reason turns off, and the girl can provide any logical justification for the choice she made instinctively: if she drinks, she will definitely quit; no work - creative person; steals and brawls - cool, protects. Those around him, whose minds haven’t turned off, are in shock: “Wake up, he’s a complete idiot, the prison is crying for him, you’ll be left alone with a child in your arms without a livelihood.” Our heroine, of course, does not hear them or argues angrily. Love... As you know, it can move mountains, but most often for some reason it turns out to be a mess...

In general, to achieve success in life and specifically in relationships, it is important for a woman to make it a rule avoid sad and unlucky people. The fact is that emotional states are just as contagious as diseases. It may seem to you that you are “saving” an unlucky man, when in fact you are only hastening your misfortune. The unfortunate always bring trouble upon themselves, and they will bring it upon you. Instead, stay close to the lucky and happy ones! They will be happy to take you into their company if you are a diamond yourself. All the ways to hone the sparkling edges of your unique character are presented in this section. Development is the main path to perfection! Forward!

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder

Tell me, how do you generally understand the phrase in the title? I'll share my point of view. Let's say you have ugly legs. Or rather, you think they are ugly. For example, “too thick.” Now imagine the entire mass of billions of men in the world and tell me: do you really think that they all only like “thin” legs?! Of course not! Everyone likes something different. That is why it is pointless to strive for thin legs - those who like them will appear on your list of fans, and those who do not like them will leave it. As a result, the number of men who like you will not change! And you will ruin your nerves. Beauty is first and foremost behavior!

And one more test question, the correct answer to which follows from a good knowledge of psychology. Please tell me which woman will interest a man seriously and for a long time: the one with beautiful legs, or the one who is sincerely interested in him?..

Remember this as a mantra: beauty is behavior!

The need for dominance kills beauty

Would you like me to save some more of your budget allocated for cosmetics and procedures to become beautiful? We are not talking about completely abandoning body and facial care, but there is a risk that everyone who will admire your beauty will be cosmetologists and massage therapists. Once again, remember the above mantra, and at the same time, acting in the opposite direction, try to portray a mask of determination and power on your face. This will be exactly the face that literally turns a man away from a woman on an animal level. Men unconsciously perceive any need to subjugate them as a danger. This is why, for example, men are scared off by women’s initiative at the first meeting (they make the hunter out of the game). In addition, it is important to understand that the need for dominance increases in people with age, so such a woman will unconsciously be perceived by a man not only as sexually unattractive, but also old, past reproductive age, and inadequate.

If a woman is ugly, and even in dominance mode, then she has practically no chance. Such a woman has no choice but to become a lesbian or a feminist angry with men. Or settle for a very weak man who has no choice.

In my practice, there were many cases when it was an elderly mother, accustomed to being in charge and often having successfully sent her husband to the next world, who with all her might put into her daughter’s ears the idea of ​​dominating her husband (“why are you listening to him?”, “you also have the right to decide.” !”), purposefully destroying this family too.

“Harmoniously” complements the “mask of power” only with the “seal of sorrow”, which we will talk about now.

A dissatisfied woman is a man's biggest problem

Why is it dangerous to be dissatisfied in life in general and in relationships in particular? The fact is that even if the reason for your dissatisfaction is in no way related directly to the man, he will be unpleasant in any case. The rational part of the brain will be able to logically explain to him that he has nothing to do with it, but man is a mostly irrational creature. And in everyone’s psyche there is a built-in “fuse” that protects us from self-accusation. In addition, emotions have the ability to “infect” others. That is, no explanations help.

In a situation where a woman expresses dissatisfaction for any reason, no matter what (even the weather!), even before the “fuse” goes off, the man will attribute the blame to himself. This is so important to realize that now I will repeat it again: in a situation where a woman expresses dissatisfaction, the man will attribute the blame for her dissatisfaction to himself. This is well known to women who have achieved mastery in household “sawing” and learned from their mother, who was unsuccessful in her personal life, that there is nothing more useful in the household than a guilty husband...

What follows is even more interesting. Do you know what emotion helps protect against guilt? First of all – anger! But men’s anger is rarely directed at themselves (“fuse”). And even in this rare case, scolding himself, guess to whom he will automatically return the unbearable pain? That's right, you! This is the cause of most family scandals.

One of the realities of the modern world is that a man often sees the reason for his failures in a woman. It happens that a woman really does a lot wrong and exceeds the pain threshold of a man in the manipulations she uses. Then he leaves. However, men also often experience the so-called learned inability to take responsibility, infantilism. This personality trait originates in the system of matriarchal upbringing of boys, where the mother dominated the father, showed him disrespect, “contrary”, threatened, “nagged”, in general, behaved like a fool.

As you can see, a vicious circle begins when you are unhappy and he is aggressive.

A man gets angry, scandals and insults you for only one reason - because of your dissatisfaction!

There are, of course, other issues related to his personal unsolved problems, but this “frustration” often pales in comparison with the all-destructive power of female dissatisfaction.

In fairness, it must be said that modern women have very well learned to use the mechanism of creating a guilt complex in a man as an effective manipulative technique that allows them to receive material benefits. This situation is best illustrated by an anecdote.

A girl walks into a jewelry store and is stunned by a beautiful necklace, but it is very expensive.

– Seller, can I make a deposit and you will hold it?

– Will you take money from your husband?

- Almost. I'll wait until my husband does something unforgivable.

A few years ago I saw an advertisement for a jewelry store: “Do you love it? Prove it!” Apparently the owner of the store is a woman. Or a strong man who understands the nature of the weak. I still get unpleasant feelings when I remember this banner. And it’s a shame for the men who fall for this. “Proving” love, they, fools, kill her with their own hands...

If you feel bad, a strong man will be inclined to scold you for it, a weak one - himself

I think the thesis in the title will help you realize the futility of creating a guilt complex in a man as an element of control. After all, if a strong man begins to make excuses to you, then you will stop respecting him. And he will turn into a weak one. The bonus in this case, of course, will be that, atoning for his guilt and trying to resolve the conflict, he will give you gifts and provide services, increasingly turning for you... how to put it mildly... into a “friend”... But is this what you want? ultimately? I hope not...

The opposite is also true: a man is happy when his woman is happy

Men arrogantly take credit for the fact that if a woman feels good, it gives them satisfaction. Therefore, if you don’t know how (synonym: not used to) to be content and express gratitude, learn urgently! After all, there is a danger that a truly worthy man will come into your life, and you simply won’t know how to react to it. Then everything will be simple - he will lose the inspiration to do something, he will begin to care less and less about you and express his love.

How can a woman become the reason for a man's success?

I think that the most important factor in a man’s success in material and social terms (business, career) is such a psychological phenomenon as enthusiasm. The difference in skills, abilities and intelligence between two people, one of whom has achieved everything and the other has been a failure, is usually insignificant. But the one of two equals who has more enthusiasm will find the scales tipped in his favor. A person of average ability but with great enthusiasm will most often outperform a first-class worker without enthusiasm.

The word "enthusiasm" comes from ancient Greek and literally means "inspired by God." Enthusiasm is the only quality that unites all people who have achieved success in their careers and in life!

Let's agree that by the word “enthusiasm” we mean an active (active) desire for success combined with undiminished optimism. Enthusiasm means believing in what you do and doing it with love, whether it's running a company or digging a trench. For an enthusiast, his work is always partly a game, even though it is hard or requires great dedication. Anyone who thinks this way is simply doomed to success. Nothing great has ever been achieved without passion. Enthusiasm is the direct road to success!

The wife of one of the American presidents, Mrs. Dwight Eisenhower, once remarked that she considered the first duty of a wife to make sure that everyone around her was happy.

A woman who can become the reason for her man's success is precisely the woman who can become the source of his enthusiasm. And for this, she herself needs to be filled with the vital energy of joy and optimism, that is, to always be content!

A simple way to achieve a state of harmony with the world

I will say categorically: you can only enter a blissful state of harmony with the world through an effort of will. Even more specific and actionable – ban your sour face forever! And when you do this according to the law of feedback, the world will turn its bright side towards you and make your wildest dreams come true, realizing the principle of a self-fulfilling prophecy.

It is difficult to appreciate the enormous benefits of positive emotions. The reference state is to always be in a good mood, warm and welcoming. Even in difficult situations, it is better to express regret instead of dissatisfaction, and under no circumstances fall into horror, hysteria, or impulsive reactions. Endurance and tolerance, calmness and efficiency - this is your only true style. To achieve success in any business, only the energy of optimism should come from you!

But what to do, you may ask, if your soul is not at all happy, and you just want to kill those around you? I answer. The first thing to do is to apply the “Total Yes” technique. This will calm you down and relieve tension. The second important action is to maintain minimal contact with your inner part of the psyche, which is responsible for optimism. It is not as strong now as it once was, but it is there! She is alive and well, although she is “sick”... Just remember about her, you will give her the strength to manifest herself when the right moment comes. Just remember.

The simplest and most effective technique for solving the problem of “always being satisfied” is to say (out loud or to yourself) a simple Russian word every fifteen minutes of your life: “Good!” And at the same time smile!

A smile not only reflects high spirits, but also actively creates it. Try to put on a smile when you usually want to be sad or complain, and you will feel how your inner state changes. If you can't, pretend!

The British have a good saying: “Fake it until you make it.” Fake it until you make it. Smile! Do it right now and never let go of the smile on your face!

Men only love women who smile

A smile is not only one of the most effective psychotherapeutic means, but also the most important part of the arsenal of female effectiveness. A lot has been written about the beauty of the raised corners of the lips, but I think it is important to once again draw your attention to this magical phenomenon, because a face with a smile, open, illuminated with joy, is feminine beauty in its very essence.

A smile is the most important element of a positive attitude towards life. Cultivating the habit of smiling, or rather the readiness for a friendly smile, is the most useful acquisition for every woman who loves herself.

For a woman, the habit of smiling is an innate quality, not an acquired one. It is inherent in her brain by nature itself. The smile corresponds to the evolutionary role of women as carers and peace-bringers. This does not mean that a woman cannot be as authoritative as a man. But smiling makes her less powerful and masculine.

If a woman does not believe that the greatest happiness for a man is to make her happy, she will never achieve true heights in her female career. After all, this belief will work as a “self-fulfilling prophecy”, and she will always come across the “wrong” men. If a woman believes in her meaningful place in a man’s life, she will joyfully and gratefully accept his love and care, endlessly improving and strengthening the relationship.

How can you express joy and gratitude with your body? Naturally, smile! By smiling, you radiate the brightest energy of life, demonstrate to the world that you are satisfied and happy, making everyone around you happy - men, children and even random passers-by.

Scientists have conducted some interesting experiments to find out how smiling affects people.

The effect of smiling on acquaintance. The experimenter's assistant sat at a free table in a cafe and looked at one of the men, while either smiling or not. During the control (test) study, she did not pay attention to men and did not smile. As a result, when there was neither a glance nor a smile, none of the men came up to introduce themselves. When a girl sent only a glance, people approached her to introduce themselves in 20% of cases, and if the glance was accompanied by a smile, in 60% of cases. Knowing these statistics, I think the question will no longer occur to you: “How to meet a man?”

The effect of smiling on tip size. The waitress, serving orders to clients (both women and men), smiled either slightly (only at the corners of her lips) or broadly (showing her teeth). The results revealed that customers tip more if they see a wide, open smile. Of course, this rule applies to all other aspects of professional and personal communication.

The effect of smiling in a hitchhiking situation. A woman was voting on a busy road. Sometimes she smiled at the drivers (lightly, slightly raising the corners of her lips), and sometimes not. During the study, 90 drivers stopped. Men were three times more likely to help a smiling woman! An excellent opportunity to remember the last time you did some manly work. I bet there was no smile on your face at that moment!

British scientists invited a large group of male volunteers for an experiment and showed them photographs of women with makeup, but without a smile, and then - the same women without makeup, but smiling. They were asked to rate which photograph showed the woman more attractive. More than 70% of the stronger sex said that they like women without makeup, but with a smile, much more. And about 60% of men said that women who do not smile seem uninteresting to them. A great way to save on cosmetics, isn't it?

Conclusions from all of the above. A smile, as an expression of goodwill and positivity, improves communication, increases self-confidence, and attracts other positive people. Those who are prone to a sincere, bright smile are usually in a happier mood and have a more successful life.

Smile!

To be continued.

A unique training program that allows you to understand the cause of any frustrated state. Realize, heal and cleanse. This training program is called

Men, like women, are completely different. But almost everyone nowadays asks the question - what is he like, a modern man? What image should a young man of our time correspond to?

This article is intended for persons over 18 years of age

Have you already turned 18?

Psychology of modern men

Any era has certain canons, fashion trends and its own rules of behavior and appearance. Depending on what time dictates to us, we change, develop or stand still. We live in a period when female and male roles often come into contact, and even mix. Bypassing this, there is a misconception among people that only a woman can take care of her psychological state, appearance or style of behavior and clothing.

In the modern world, men also care a lot about how they will look and what people will think of them, just like women. Moreover, the girls themselves endlessly chirp about what HE should be like - the ideal man.

The psychology of modern guys is to look as manly as possible, and to do as little as possible for this. Society has moved beyond the period when a young man, in order to be a “man,” had to work 24 hours a day in a factory, carry heavy loads, manage financial affairs, or put on a military uniform.

In our society, ladies have long begun to adopt similar male functions. Women’s desire for gender equality gives men more and more reasons to abandon the “rules of behavior of a real male” established by our ancestors.

Pros and cons of guys' fashionable look

On the one hand, this is good, since the psychology of modern men has begun to change, and they already respect the opinion of the opposite sex more in important things. They take the ladies into account, understand that in relationships they need to consult, come to a compromise and not be a dictator and tyrant. That's a plus.

What are the downsides to this situation? They lie in the fact that the “ideal guy” is constantly changing. Previously, this was a person who would come to the rescue in any situation. He could be brutal and unprincipled, but he always had to be a support.

Now, remembering that a woman can do a lot on her own, men relieve themselves of the responsibility of being a defender. They begin to focus more on their inner world to the detriment of relationships or family. They believe that they can create an “image” for themselves. You can often hear complaints from women: “Mine can’t even hammer a nail” or “Why am I taking care of the family budget?”, and sometimes even “Can you imagine, yesterday a robber attacked us in an alley, so mine hid behind a tree.”

Thus, we can conclude that the very equality that the female half of society strived for is a double-edged sword.

What should a modern man be like?

In order to understand the main rules of a real male, you need to look carefully into the depths of historical events. What is it like, that image that has been preserved for centuries? Where are the main strengths of male character?

The whole essence of modern boys and young men is “divide and conquer.” What does it mean? This expression in modern times can be deciphered as “assign yourself responsibilities, share them with your woman, choose the right image for yourself and correspond to it.”

How does the female half of society themselves spoil the ideal of a man?

A man, despite the title of “strong half,” is a subtle creature. At the same time, he is very logical and straightforward. A young man can only play the role of the strong if he is allowed to be so. When he feels the need to be smarter, more dexterous, more courageous than a woman, only then will he be like that.

Girls, without noticing it themselves, often personally deprive their knights of the opportunity to be men. Many modern mothers try to protect their sons from all the hardships of this world, thereby making them weak, weak-willed, infantile individuals.

"Let a man be a man." This phrase is more relevant today than ever. It is necessary to form the image of a strong-willed person in boys from an early age. We need to let them make mistakes and give them the opportunity to solve them themselves. They must be allowed to fight, protecting the weak or small. It is important to teach boys to respect their mother, always reminding them that she is weaker and needs protection since she is a woman.

And girls need to give the male sex more space and air. If the lady allows the knight to perform feats, then he will become her protector. When a woman leaves the solution to certain problems on a man’s shoulders, even if she knows that she can solve them herself, then he will feel important and needed. And most importantly, he will feel the need to do this alone, so that his princess will be proud of him and subsequently tell all her friends what kind of “Man” she has (necessarily with a capital letter).

Modern men don't want to get married

More and more women are spreading the opinion in society that men do not want to get married, or are refusing relationships. Where is the truthful essence of this opinion?

Women who constantly walk around with a virtual banner “I want to get married” really face the problem that no one wants to start a family with them. But this happens not because men do not want to get married in general, but because they do not want to build serious relationships with these ladies specifically.

Why are guys so afraid to marry modern women?

Of course, there are men who simply don't want a relationship. Either from their immaturity, or from the fact that they do not want to take responsibility for someone other than themselves. But such shots have always been encountered, and not just in our era.

Most often, modern men do not want to marry because “there is no one to marry.” Most girls want a guy to come, solve all their problems, take on all sorts of responsibilities and take into account all the, excuse me, idiotic antics of his princess. Well, how can you marry someone like that?

Of course, a man must be stronger. But at the same time, he needs to understand that if he needs help, or the moment comes when his other half needs to replace him for a while, then he will not be left alone with problems. And on top of that, with an always whining, fat wife who can’t do anything. So why marry someone like that? Girls should ask themselves this question more often and engage in self-development.

Modern clothing style for men

When all the internal characteristics of a young man have already been sorted out point by point, it is worth paying attention to his appearance. Fashion trends and properly selected clothing are as important for the male half of humanity as they are for the fair sex.

What should a man look like to be masculine? First of all, guys need to understand that clothes should be selected only according to their size. Hoping that clothes two sizes larger will make them visually stronger always ends in a rather ridiculous appearance.

Business style in clothing always remains in trend. Suits, shirts, vests - all this gives a man elegance and the necessary masculine charm. Guys in suits always look presentable and are involuntarily taken more seriously.

Also, casual is always a good option. Even in offices, you can often meet the director of a company in a stylish sweater and simple jeans. The main thing is that clothes are matched to your skin tone and eye color.

The main thing in choosing a clothing style is not to parrot the image that you liked on the Internet, but to carefully analyze what exactly suits you. You also need to remember that there are timeless things like classics, and there are things that go out of fashion and look quite funny and ridiculous.

Choose clothes according to your character and lifestyle, always keep an eye on the cleanliness and appearance of your things. Don't forget that scent and hairstyle play a very important role in assessing your image. By following all our rules, you will always dress stylishly. Experiment, love yourself, follow fashion, but never forget to be courageous and gallant. These two concepts, if they accompany you through life, will help you look perfect and attract the attention of worthy ladies whom you want to marry.

Instructions

A modern man, first of all, takes care of himself: gets his hair cut by a good hairdresser, does a manicure, takes care of his hair, nails and skin, and also regularly visits the gym. In addition, he dresses according to the latest fashion trends, appearing at work in a strict business suit, and at parties in stylish jeans and T-shirts with an original print. Modern men still don’t like to go shopping with women, but when choosing clothes for themselves, they meticulously inspect the goods, sometimes driving sales assistants to a nervous breakdown. Another characteristic feature of a modern man is a car, which he cares for and cherishes with manic fanaticism, subconsciously associating it with himself.

The realities of today's world force men to keep up with the times - each of them certainly has a sophisticated mobile phone or smartphone, which the man constantly looks into with a worried look. In addition, a modern man cannot smell bad - fortunately, the range of men's perfumes today is presented in huge quantities. An indispensable attribute of a modern man is intelligence, since the Internet provides a lot of interesting literature, ranging from documentaries to science fiction. Therefore, today men argue not so much about the quality of the roach that goes with beer, but about new technologies, geopolitics and the latest book of some hip prose writer. And yes, modern men are amazing cooks.

Modern men are no longer in a hurry to get married at 20 and have a bunch of chubby-cheeked children - today they highly value their freedom and the opportunity to make a dizzying career in any field. A very characteristic feature of a modern man is a lower level of tension, brutality, internal aggression and closed-mindedness - he can talk about his fears and anxieties, without fear of losing his image of an alpha male in the eyes of strangers. The same applies to their emotionality and vulnerability, which with the advent of new times moved to a completely new level.

As for relationships with the female sex, modern men have also grown noticeably here - they try to understand all the whims and caprices of their girlfriends, treat women much more gallantly and respect their personal space. The consumer attitude towards the fair half of humanity has also decreased significantly - a modern man is ready to share the burden of household obligations with his partner, since various psychological techniques allow many couples to achieve complete mutual understanding and harmony in relationships.

Before I publish this stream of consciousness, which turns into a cry for help, I would like to make a small introduction. I won’t say that this is an indicator of my condition. This is more of a lyrical PMS mood, interspersed with recent experience. I just wanted to pour it out on paper.

I ask men not to take this personally. I know and believe that there are The Ones! Therefore, if this text offends you, it’s a reason to think about it.

I love you! :)

"About modern men"

What happened to modern men?
Why do they expect women to catch them, show attention, take the first steps?

“I really liked you. But you and I live an hour away from each other. I think it will be too difficult to build a relationship..."

“I'm asking you on a date. But it’s convenient for me to meet only in this area. Can't you? Ah, well then, good luck!”

You like a girl, you are not too lazy to register on a dating site and spend hours scrolling through profiles and correspondence. But you are too lazy to take the initiative! You are too lazy to strain... Do you think I made it all up? No! One guy wrote: “It seems to me that women, like men, should achieve what they deserve.”

Since when did this happen? When did women start fighting for men?
Let's go back a little to the origins of nature. The males fought among themselves so that the strongest could own the females and continue the race. A man subconsciously seeks attractive women, and a woman searches for strong men to continue a healthy and survivable generation.

And then we wonder why there are so many lonely people. And because an hour’s drive is an obstacle to building a relationship, a girl’s activity is an indicator of her interest. Only now no one thinks about her self-esteem and the crowds of the same infantile guys who are trying to meet her.
How can she choose the strongest?

You know, I am simply amazed by the logic of many modern men.
Doesn't the girl write first? Doesn't hang around your neck? Doesn’t she say that you are the man of her life? She's not interested in me! And people live for years in their loneliness. They are waiting for someone to fall in love with their uniqueness, being able to see it under the layer of immaturity.

But how to choose?
Let's say I liked a man. Somewhere we have common ground. But how can I love you when you don't open up? How can I open you if you sit and wait only for my actions? A person is perceived holistically. Few people are interested in infantile men.
And I would like to give you all the unspent joy, tears of happiness, oceans of love and warmth. But to whom? Who are you?

Hundreds of men show interest in me. But how can we look at You? How can I, a single woman who works and develops, relying only on herself, find time to try to get to know each of the more or less handsome guys? It's just like going to work. But I already have a job...

I am a happy and at the same time unhappy woman. I have met men on my way who know how to show their superiority over others. The cave days are behind us, there were no physical battles. But there was a desire to conquer with words, actions, and interest.
If you really like a woman, what's stopping you from trying your luck? I don't need diamonds or expensive gifts. Be a man, be a man, so that I can recognize you from the crowd. Take me to an original movie, show me unique parts of the city that I haven’t seen, go to training with me or invite me on a hike. How little it takes to believe that I am exactly the one you need...

I know you are afraid of being deceived, you don’t want to waste your energy...
But I never give hope if there is none. I appreciate your attempts, I will always remember you, but if feelings don’t flare up, I’ll say so without hesitation.
And if I like you, you won’t find a more tender, devoted woman. But you don’t even let me open up.

But this is my position. What's yours? How will you find the one?

You are waiting for the woman to prove herself.

And I ask myself, who should I give my love to? Anyone who will offer to meet?

I am ready to drink this cup with HIM to the bottom. Just show yourself, don’t be one of the crowd of lonely hearts afraid to be real...

I've suffered enough. I don't measure You by ideals. You can be brunette, blond or red. You can be macho or intellectual. Anyone... But where are you?