How to work on yourself and improve. Working on yourself

Everything that is described below is an attempt to systematize the three-dimensional form of a complex process that can be described by the words: “working on oneself.” Of course, this is not an exhaustive systematization and not the only possible one, but this is exactly what I managed to come to as a result of my own practical work on myself and working with other people in the same direction. If I had come across such a systematization ten years ago, it would have significantly reduced time and made it easier to achieve my goals; it would have been clear what needs to be done and in what direction, where there are “gaps,” and why some things stall and don’t work out. The essence of this systematization is simple: four main directions in working on oneself, what they are in general. Then - four rules, without which these four directions are unlikely to give any tangible results and recommendations on how to implement these rules.

Of course, these are not the keys to all questions and not recommendations from the “help yourself” series, but this is a definite map that can help you navigate this not the easiest path.

I'll start from a little further.

We are born and live this life for a reason. This makes sense. Everyone has their own - this is their purpose. Due to circumstances, we humans almost always miss our meaning and, as a result, do not get the results in life that we would have had if our life had this very, our own meaning - our destiny. Instead, we get results that are thoroughly imbued with some other, not our, meaning. As a result, we live to the death not our life, not our destiny, not our destiny and get results that we do not need, and this is at best. At worst, it brings us illnesses, insoluble difficulties, insurmountable obstacles, difficulties and wanderings that seem to be about to be resolved, but year after year not only are not resolved, but, on the contrary, become thicker and worse.

This is the most important question which each of us faces in life. Many people don’t notice it, don’t even know that it exists - this means that it’s not yet “hot enough” to ask questions and look for answers. Some people are familiar with this question, but they lack the desire and enthusiasm to find real answers that lie outside their comfort zone. Someone takes a road that can lead to its own meaning, he asks questions and looks for answers, wherever they may be. This is the most difficult thing, because here you need to work with yourself, with your life, your feelings, your thinking, your reactions and perceptions... with your pain and your value system, with your beliefs and your experience, with your fear and your motivations... with everything that makes you up as a person, as an individual, as a person. It's like fixing a car at full speed. But this is the only way to get out of the “default settings”. This is our life.

One Eastern wisdom says: “Only death happens by itself.” Life is a continuous movement. No movement means no life. At different moments in our lives, different movements occur. There is a movement that is directed outward, to search for resources, to attract a partner, to protect and adapt. There is a movement that is directed inside our life, first of all, this is a learning process that begins from the moment we are born. The task facing this internal movement is to make the external movement as effective as possible, and at the simplest level, almost everyone copes with this; we master the skills of interaction with the environment and society. But this is not all, a person has deeper and more complex needs than “earning money for food”, “continuing one’s family” and “being more significant than others”, and ninety percent of the real “good” depends on these deep and complex needs. However, where exactly this “good” can be found, and what these deep-seated needs are, everyone must understand in their own life; this is not taught anywhere - neither at school, nor at college. So it turns out that we are faced with these very questions already when our personality has been socialized, basic life skills have been consolidated, and in general we have somehow formed.

Thus, when we are ready for external action, we again need to go inside ourselves, starting the learning process that has already subsided. This is where what can be called “work on yourself” begins. A difficult, often confusing, and sometimes very abstract area of ​​human activity. Especially if we talk about working on oneself in relation not to any particular area of ​​life, but specifically about working on the essence of one’s existence...

But let's talk about everything in order. First of all, what do these two words mean?

Well, firstly, the concept of “working on yourself” can include a huge number of all kinds of actions. You can work on yourself by improving any skills, for example, in sports or art. You can work on yourself in the area of ​​improving or developing any psychological qualities. You can work on your health, on your relationships, on your appearance, on your habits... in general, you can do a lot of things, and all of this will be described in two words - work on yourself.

In a general sense work on yourself implies targeted, systematic activities to develop, optimize and improve one’s own existence.

I'll decipher it. First of all, it's work. Work is something that is done systematically and has a specific purpose. That is, if you go for a run once in the morning, then it can be anything, but not work. But a system without a goal is also not work, but simply a pastime without a clear meaning and clear criteria. A goal is what gives meaning to any activity., but we will return to this below.

Let's move on. Work is an activity. The very concept of “activity” means “the active interaction of a subject with an object, during which the subject satisfies any of his needs, achieves goals" . Active interaction that achieves the goal is a very important point. Just sitting in one place and not really changing your being, you can see a very convincing dream about some kind of personal development, a change in attitude towards the environment, about the ongoing comprehension, but all this will have very little connection with a completely material and tangible reality.

The next point is that working on yourself primarily affects one’s own life.The subject and object here are ourselves. That is, not the life of your neighbor Tolya, not the life of your cousin Klava, and not even the life of your children or wife-husband, but your own life, and you do this for yourself, and not for someone else. Otherwise, it will be difficult, perhaps noble, but absolutely meaningless work to create yourself as a victim (you are doing this for the sake of someone) and a persecutor (and the psyche of any of us is so structured that for this you will inevitably demand compensation, albeit without realizing it, in the form of gratitude, loyalty, attention or something else like that).

And finally. By working on ourselves, we develop ourselves. Development is when there was one thing, and then something else grows from it, just like a plant grows from a seed. Along with this we optimize everything that our life consists of. Optimization is when what was there before remains, but begins to work more optimally, in accordance with its natural characteristics, like a car in which all the bolts are tightened, oil and good gasoline are poured in, the driver of which, moreover, if possible, chooses good road surface and avoids dangerous situations on the road. And besides We improve our entire existence. Improvement is when the goals achieved in the process of development and optimization lead to changes for the better.

Below I would like to present a detailed summary of the main aspects that allow work on yourself to be effective. I approach this issue not entirely from the traditional perspective, be it traditional Western psychological schools or Eastern traditions of spiritual self-improvement. First of all, I rely on rational empirical experience, which is based on sober reason, observation and openness to new things... However, first things first.

Review of four directions in working on yourself

• The very first thing is the direction of “intention”. We are accustomed to seeing ourselves and our lives in a kind of vacuum, isolated from the world around us. However, even if we use simple logic, we can see that we are not only closely connected with the space around us, but are also one with it. At a minimum, we are inseparable from the air we breathe, from the planet that gave life to all living things, from the Sun, without whose energy this life is impossible... not to mention interactions, for example, at the level of electromagnetic and gravitational forces... We are connected to this universe not only by our external actions, but also by internal actions, with our whole being. This property of our life has received the name “law of attraction” in popular psychology, very colorfully described, in particular, in the film “The Secret”. Yes, we can ask the Universe for help in the matter we need, and eventually receive this help. However, this “law of attraction” has a lot of nuances, without which it is possible to use this “law” at literally one hundredth of its original potential. These nuances include, for example, how to use intention when the pain program is working. Or how to use intention so that life does not give what we supposedly need, but takes away what we are holding on to. And how to do all this environmentally, so as not to harm yourself or anyone else. The issue of ecology and safety is generally one of the main ones here. There are a lot of nuances that determine whether the use of this tool will be momentary entertainment and cheerful self-deception, or whether it will become a natural part of life, just like our writing and walking skills.

We are part of this world. And by approaching your life correctly from this position, you can not only and not so much get something in the short term, but, above all, get a new quality of your life.

Intention is what allows us, moving in the chaos of all kinds of events, to come to our ordered system of life, to our destiny. In other words, the intention is the architectural plan of the house being built, allowing everyone involved in its construction to coordinate their work. Imagine what will happen to the building if the plan is made somehow or if there is no plan at all, how will this building be built? It's the same with our lives. If intention, as a tool for coordinating our consciousness and our unconscious with the entire moving world around us, is not used, then our life is built completely randomly. And if you live by the will of this chance, then you should not be surprised when you receive results you don’t need from this very life.

• The second is “purpose”. This is the most important meaning, and that says it all. The topic is broad and deep in itself. Destination is not just an abstract inner potential, not some mystical image, and not a calling in any particular matter. This is a very specific direction in which a complex set of qualities and properties of a person’s individual nature can be realized. It is not difficult to formulate a definition and explanation for this concept: everything has certain qualities and properties. The combination of these properties and qualities determines the nature of an object or phenomenon. This nature interacts with the surrounding space, thereby realizing its potential. This very potential of natural qualities and properties is the purpose.

Purpose can be conditionally divided into higher, lower and actual. The highest is how natural potential could be realized under ideal conditions conducive to this realization. The lowest destiny is the probable line of how the development of natural potential could go if the conditions in which a person found himself from the very beginning of life turned out to be as strong as possible and the person did not have the strength to respond to them. Actual destiny is the line between the highest and lowest destiny, showing where a person really is at the moment.

Purpose, in addition, is multi-layered, it has three planes: an explicit plane (the purpose of a person as a person, gender purpose, social), a deep plane (emotional, mental and personal purpose) and a quantum, not subject to determination, plane (what is called " purpose of the soul").

To illustrate concepts "lower", "higher" and "actual" purpose, we can give a simple illustration: the most basic level explicit plane purpose - physiological health. The lowest destination here is death. The highest is absolute health. The actual line fluctuates somewhere in the middle, which indicates normal health, which with some probability can be worsened by a non-fatal disease, for example, a cold.

The whole point of working on yourself is to come to your purpose and realize it in its entirety. All the directions we are talking about now intersect with each other in one way or another, but they intersect most strongly with the direction of destination.

• The third is “programs”. They are also called “engrams” or “scripts”. Programs are the reasons that make the realization of one’s purpose impossible by 70-80 percent. Programs are a painful experience in your own life, which begins to form from the period of conception, and this is the experience of many generations preceding your birth. At the same time, programs are also tasks of the soul, which, if not realized, create huge zones of tension and systems of side compensation for these tensions. There can be a lot of different programs, thousands. They form multidimensional planes, entire false universes in the inner world, often not only depriving them of the opportunity to even get closer to the vision of their destiny, but making it unattainable for a person in principle. Working with programs is a very painstaking and troublesome task, but the importance of this area in working on oneself is difficult to exaggerate.
• The fourth is knowledge and mastery of your internal “energy”. Internal energy is everything that determines your ability to do anything in your inner world and your objective reality. Internal energy is what is called “energy flows”, and the energy of sensuality, and the energy of physical action, and the energy of interest in life... It would take a very, very long time to list what this energy is. Internal energy, no matter how general this formulation may be, is what fills life in addition to actual actions and physical movements. These are processes that are hidden from direct observation from the outside, but which are objectively present in the body, in emotions, in the mind, taking a direct part in the formation of perceived images, their processing and the implementation of corresponding internal or external reactions.

Each of these areas includes many techniques that cannot be called inaccessible or secret. Many of them have been well known for many, many generations, others are being discovered and developed to this day. However, quite often they are treated rather superficially, as required by the market for quick results, which subsequently leads to disappointment: “I know all this, I tried everything, nothing works, life is the way it was and remains that way...” In order to get results, it is important to know a few rules, without following which any undertaking, even one filled with pure enthusiasm and sincere interest, will be multiplied by zero.

The four most important rules:

1. Regularity.
2. Understanding the goal.
3. Sober mind.
4. Observation and openness to new things.

On the first and second points. Actions shape our lives. Their quality, direction and regularity determine the kind of life we ​​live. It’s not for nothing that they say: habit is second nature. One single action in the "right" direction will not outweigh constant action directed "nowhere".

If you have performed the technique once or even twice, you will certainly gain a lot of new impressions. But if you are interested in impressions, it is better to go to the cinema or read a good book. The presence of impressions, as well as their absence, does not mean anything. The main work that produces a high-quality result is not done at once. Quality generally cannot be obtained from a single “approach”, no matter what you do: sports, art, science - everywhere you need diligence, work, effort and time. This is important to understand.

Here it is important to decide for yourself what you need, what your goal is and how you will understand that this goal has been achieved. Do you need results at all, or do you just want entertainment? How responsibly are you ready to approach this matter? Because in reality it won't be easy. You won’t find the buzz here, as in many trainings and seminars. In many ways, you will have to work with the most painful and unsightly sides of your essence. This is important to understand, because otherwise the movement will only continue until difficulties arise.

Regular practice and understanding of why you are doing it are the basis, the foundation. And if it doesn’t exist, then everything else doesn’t exist either.

• sober mind. Turn off your imagination, no matter what exciting pictures it paints for you. And don’t trust your emotions - they lie, it’s been proven. There is a place inside you that is not influenced by the elements of emotions, and the imagination does not play first fiddle there. Find him. It is important that you not only feel, feelings are a whimsical thing, it is important that you know and understand what you are doing, why and what is the meaning of it for you. Only in this case will you be able to remain faithful to your action. A sober mind is walls, and if they are not there, then the foundation will grow with weeds and rot in the rain.

But don't hide behind those walls. Complement them with windows and a roof - observation and openness to new things. Do not confuse sober reason and denial of what does not fit into your picture of the world. Trust experience, but don't overestimate it. Live in the present moment, but without forgetting the past and what happened. Watch, think, draw conclusions and watch again. Try, make mistakes and try again.

• Observation is windows that bring in fresh air, open the house to sunlight and allow you to see around you.
• Openness is the crowning glory of the building. This could be a leaky roof, from which the plaster of past experience is crumbling, or it could be a good-quality roof, or even the dome of a temple, under which every word turns into a chanted prayer. In other words: if there is openness, then this indicates a healthy and flexible psyche, capable of being in constant contact with the environment. If there is a problem with openness, then this is a roof from which scraps of past experience are constantly pouring down and there is a constant struggle with leaks, when the outside world still destructively seeps inside the house.

But these rules are not enough to be understood; they must be followed.

A few recommendations that can help implement the above rules into practice

You can live by action, I already spoke about this above. Then it has a chance to bring something into your life. But how do you know whether you are living something or not? Very simple. If you do this every day, if it takes up a significant part of your active life, then the answer is obvious. If some action occurs from time to time, then it concerns your life superficially. It's simple.

One person gets up every day and goes to training, and gives himself all to this process. Through “I can’t”, through “I don’t want” and through “I have many other important things to do”. And it achieves results. The ones he needs. He stands on a pedestal, becomes a champion, improves his health, and discovers something new in his direction. Why does he succeed, but others don’t? Is it because in one case diligence and labor brought their natural results, but in another they turned out to be insufficient for the same results?

When working on ourselves, results are also important to us. If you understand why you are taking this course, then this should automatically include the definition of the result. Have you encountered any problems in your life and want to solve them? Do you want to reach your destiny? Or do you just want to learn something new?

In each of these cases already By posing the question itself, it is clear what the result should be.

With what question are you looking at these lines now? What result are you looking for? And how important is this to you? It is these three questions that determine which direction you will go, and whether you will go at all.

So, first task. Answer these three simple questions sincerely:

• What do you want to get from working on yourself?
• How will you know you got it?
• Are you ready to sacrifice your existing lifestyle, your habits and your current way of life for the sake of the above goal?

These three questions will help make your goal clearer and more tangible.

Fine. The target is visible. But what to do with regularity? This is one of the easiest questions, but that is why it is often very difficult. How many endeavors in your life could you have reaped if you had put more time, effort, and perseverance into those endeavors?

The difficulty lies here in the fact that any irregularity, any postponement for later or simply delaying action is not seen as somehow prominent in life, they are always smooth and gradual, accordingly, we cannot distinguish a threat in them, such as, for example, from some or sudden action. Graduality and smoothness have greater power than periodic sharpness and selective pressure. If the pulling and putting aside are gradual and smooth, they will prevail. Anyway. Any goal you set will not stand a chance. Even if it lights you up from time to time, aimlessness will still win. What to do? How to bring regularity and consistency to work on yourself?

The answer is simple: it should become part of life. This requires three components:

• Understanding that in life there is always something to work on. You are not perfect. And not from the point of view of social standards or philosophical concepts. You are not perfect from the point of view of your original nature (in our system we say “higher purpose”), from the point of view of the potential with which you came into this life. If you were ideal, then you most definitely would not have any conflicts, problems in life, or any emotional or mental discomfort.

To put it bluntly: you always have problems to work through. Is there an end to these problems? Theoretically, it exists. In practice, I repeat once again: in life there is always something to work with.

So what's the point if it may never end? The point is that if you don’t work, the problems themselves will not resolve, this has been proven. If work is being done on them - on one problem, then on the next, then on those following these first ones, and so on and so forth, on hundreds and thousands of problems, then this will give results. This will mean that there will be one, two, a thousand fewer problems in your life. And even if there is an infinite number of them, which, in fact, is not the case, they are finite, although much more numerous than we would like to think about it. But even if they are endless, then it is by working with them, working with problem areas that do not allow our nature to be truly realized, that we make our lives better (more perfect, healthier, more optimal, more conflict-free, more effective - underline what is necessary). Well, why this is needed, everyone decides for himself.

• Constantly changing perspective. This is a cure for dullness, and it is necessary in order to always be able to implement the first component from this small list - constant work on problem areas. The areas that need to be worked on are 70-90% programs, and only ten percent skills that need to be developed, refined or regrouped. What are programs - in short, this is the result of the work of the adaptation system, which can be transmitted through many generations of the family; in the vast majority of cases, people do not have enough conscious energy to ensure that these programs are formed somehow optimally in relation to their own nature and the nature of the world around them, this leads to the fact that 99.9% of programs are focused on fear and pain, which are not the optimal response to any events in life, but are the simplest and easiest answer for a person. It costs almost nothing to be offended and close down, to go to resolve the conflict and sincerely see your goal - it costs a lot of real effort, this is just an example.

So here it is. Programs in his their original nature exists in order to protect and protect us from all sorts of dangers of this world. Our adaptation system is “sure” that we need them and without them we will die (a practical example: during the war, my great-grandmother was abandoned by her husband and went to the front, never returning from there. Then, as it turned out, he changed his last name and started a new family His wife hated him with fierce hatred and made him, in her worldview, responsible for all the sorrows and misfortunes in her life. Naturally, their children, namely their granddaughter, absorbed all this, a catastrophic fear of relationships, an unreasonable hatred of men. and rejection of oneself as a woman (after all, women are weak, defenseless, etc., something from which my grandmother suffered so much. Why? Because a man is a threat that will plunge your life into suffering and torment. That’s how the program works). , when we look at programs and the problems they generate, we first of all come across the fact that they will resist, and they do this with the help of our own minds, and so that we still have the opportunity to deal with the problem, and not get stuck in it. , you need to remember that you need to constantly change your perspective on this problem. In practice, this means a continuous change of approaches and tools to the problem being solved; if the solution does not move, you should always ask questions like: “what else can help in the decision”, “is this the right direction I’m deciding”, “what else have I not taken into account”, “what could be the mistake”,- and think, think, think, without getting hung up on dead-end thoughts, like “I don’t know”, “I’m tired”, “I’m tired of everything”, “I’m right”. Always ask: “What, what else could be here, from what side can we look at it, what could have been missed.” All attention here should be paid to the internal and external components of life, you need to teach yourself to analyze them and perceive them critically.

It should also be noted that such an approach to solving problems inevitably forms a flow of intention, if, of course, you ask these questions to yourself sincerely, the intention allows you to find the right answer: thoughts will come together in the right way for the solution, or a hint and solution will come from outside, but a sincere desire will always find a way to be realized, which means that these questions to the problem being solved will always bear fruit.

So, regularity implies consistency. And the fact that the process of working on yourself becomes part of your life means there is already a certain system in the approach to this process. And another key component on which it depends whether regularity will be possible and whether it will become a part of your life, not in words, but in deeds, is uncompromisingness.

And finally, third:

• No compromise with internal problems. This is another key component on which it depends whether regularity will be possible. An internal problem is something that prevents us from living in accordance with our original nature. If we have identified such a problem (one of a series), then we should not leave it any chance to exist. We simply do not have the right to ignore this, even if now “reluctance”, “wrong time”, “wrong problem”, “the other one is also to blame”. By agreeing with an already actualized problem (actualized means that it exists and works, and we have fixed it with attention), refusing to look for a solution or postponing it until later, we not only push the “final” result away from ourselves, but also multiply all previous ones by zero effort made. Even if the problem has taken over our states, actions, thoughts, consciousness must constantly look for a solution, then sooner or later it will appear. Otherwise, we will most likely return not just to the point of our “starting positions”, when we carried all these problems within ourselves, but much lower. Inattention and irresponsibility in action carries much more danger than inattention and irresponsibility in inaction.

Well, what about what can help implement the rules regarding sober mind, observation and openness to new things, here everything is simpler, but at the same time more complicated. These three things can be considered as some initial qualities of consciousness, the use of which is a matter of freedom of choice for the person himself. In order to look at things in the surrounding reality impartially, you must first of all want it, experience such a need, and this need can often be reached by becoming convinced of the powerlessness of the logic mechanism in the face of dynamically changing life. A very precise definition of logic and its role in life was given by Hans Selye, the founder of stress theory, in his book “From Dream to Discovery”: ". .. I believe that logic is to Nature what a tour guide is to a zoo. He knows exactly where the African lion is, where the Indian elephant is, and where the Australian kangaroo is, since they were captured, brought to the zoo and put on display. The hunter who tracked these animals in their natural habitats does not need such knowledge. In the same way, logic is not the key to the secrets of the orderliness of Nature, but a kind of “art gallery catalog” in the human brain, where his impressions of natural phenomena are stored.”

Well, in conclusion, I would like to add this: working on yourself gives real results when you need them more than anything else in your life. If these results determine whether you will live or not, then there will be enough motivation to achieve a real result. As they say, the one who walks can master the road. And in order for this to be a movement forward, and not somewhere sideways, it is important not to forget what a dream is... but this, however, is a completely different story.

Now the topic of self-improvement and personal growth is especially relevant. On the Internet, on television, in magazines - everywhere they talk about the need to work on yourself, develop, grow, and achieve success in life. At the same time, a logical question arises: where to start this self-development, how to find time and incentive? Especially if you want it quickly, everything at once.

First, let's define what self-development is. Development and change are a natural process for everything that exists in the world. Human life itself is a series of constant changes associated with birth, growing up and aging, the formation of personality, the acquisition of certain skills and life experiences.

Therefore, self-development can be characterized as a set of conscious and purposeful actions aimed at improving certain qualities, skills, and abilities of a person. The explanatory dictionary gives us the following definition: self-development is the intellectual or physical development of a person on the basis of independent studies and exercises, on one’s own initiative, without the assistance of any external forces. Now that we have understood the theory, we can begin concrete actions. So, self-development: where to start making positive changes in yourself?

1. Revision. To do this, you need to find time and analyze your life, or rather, every area of ​​your life, and honestly answer the questions: what exactly does not suit me, what qualities or skills do I lack to be satisfied with life? Try to be objective and don't deceive yourself. Consider each area of ​​life separately:
   • Physical sphere, health. Perhaps you should adjust your daily routine, start eating right, get rid of bad habits, lose weight, boost your immunity, start playing sports;
   • Spiritual sphere. Getting rid of anger, envy, malice, irritability, developing a positive attitude towards yourself and others, various spiritual practices and meditation can help many:
   • Material sphere, finance. There is a wide field for activity here, since very few people are satisfied with their financial situation. Perhaps it is worth changing your job to a higher paying one, or even changing your profession, taking courses, trainings, or getting a new specialty. Some people want to open their own business, but don’t know how and are afraid of failure.
   • Social sphere, relationships. Development of communication skills, overcoming conflicts, harmonious relationships in the family, at work, personal life, control over emotions.
   • Intellectual sphere, personal growth. Here we are talking about the development of intellectual abilities, memory, attention, abstract and creative thinking, the ability to set goals and achieve them, increasing personal effectiveness, the ability to plan your time
2. Let's choose one the most important direction for self-development. Since there are only a few completely harmonious, comprehensively developed people, first you should focus on the most important thing for you. Think about what qualities and skills you lack most, and start your self-development from there. If you take on everything at once, there will probably be no result at all.
3. We draw up a specific action plan. Let's consider an example: You decided to change your job to a more interesting and highly paid one. At the same time, you understand that you lack knowledge, you are absent-minded and do not know how to manage your time. Solutions options:
   • take advanced training courses in the area of ​​interest to you;
   • learn to concentrate, develop perseverance (there are special exercises);
   • undergo training on personal efficiency and personal time planning;
   • compose a competent resume and send it to all companies that interest you, and you don’t have to quit your current job to do this.

Positive attitude and goal-oriented actions

Whether you believe it or not, having a mindset for success is very important.. If thoughts are constantly spinning in your head like: “Why do I need this?”, “I won’t succeed...”, “It’s difficult for me...” - then you won’t see any progress. It is important to immediately set yourself up in a positive mood, believe in your success, see positive changes in yourself every day in your thoughts and enjoy even small successes. It will be useful to use affirmations and meditation.

Just thinking about self-development is not enough - you need to constantly take concrete actions in order to become better every day. Many will ask: “How to find time to engage in self-development?” To begin with, it is enough to allocate 20-30 minutes a day - do not watch TV, do not surf the Internet and social networks. In a month, these 20-30 minutes will give you tangible results, the main thing is to start.

Without smart books - nowhere

Self-improvement is written in many ancient books, starting with the Bible and other sacred books; much can be gleaned from the eastern teachings of Yoga, Tao and others. But these are primary sources that will not be clear to everyone. They have already been processed by scientists into a language that is understandable to us and presented in books in the form of recommendations for self-development. These publications just need to be found. Among the bestsellers on this topic today are the following books:

• Stephen Covey "7 Habits of Highly Effective People". This work changes people's worldview, they get rid of many complexes and begin to quickly move up the career ladder or make success in business. The book provides recommendations that really help to awaken dormant forces within yourself and become one of the leaders. Read it with a pen and notepad and note the main postulates on which you will base your path to perfection and everything will work out for you.
• Sharma Robin "The Monk Who Sold His Ferrari". This is a guide to the spiritual development of personality; the author believes that without strengthening the strength of spirit, nothing can be achieved in life, and self-development must begin with spiritual improvement. This is fair, a weak spirit does not become a leader and a successful person. Therefore, it is necessary to listen to what is written in this book. It also contains tips for effectively using the strengths of human character.
• Godin Seth “The Pit” is a publication about how to take care of yourself in order to become the best in the field in which a person is building a career. This is a real guide to a breakthrough to success in your professional activities.

All these books are united by one valuable idea - self-development never ends. The desire to be the best in a person’s character and one must be able to use this quality.

Beautiful video for inspiration.

Everyone has ups and downs in life, and often we blame others and fate for our failures, but we may not see our own shortcomings. In order to change something in the world around you, you need to start, first of all, with yourself.

One day you will ask yourself the question: “where to start working on yourself?” Self-improvement is a delicate matter, you need to approach it very competently, so that at one moment you don’t feel the desire to give up everything.

The Wheel of Life - as a strong motivation on the path of self-improvement

If you don't know where to start self-development How to choose the right path for yourself, first you need to understand at what point you are. The Wheel of Life is a system that helps you analyze your level of success.

To do this, you need to draw a circle and divide it into 8 sectors:

- career and business. Do you enjoy your work?

- finances. Are you satisfied with your salary? Do you have enough funds for financial independence?

- friends and environment. Does your environment help you develop? What do you get from communicating with friends?

- family and love. Is there harmony in your relationships with loved ones?

- health and sports. How good is your health? Would you like to make your body attractive and get rid of excess weight?

- entertainment and relaxation. Are you organizing your vacation correctly in order to not only recharge yourself with energy, but also get something useful for yourself?

— education and personal growth. What knowledge have you acquired to develop and improve yourself?

- brightness of life. Are you satisfied with your life? Does it have enough bright, memorable moments?

Each sector is your life value, which is necessary in order to feel the happiest. This way, you will put your goals in order and have a better understanding of what you need to strive for. Also, do not forget to write what exactly in each sector you lack for complete happiness.

Each sector must be assessed using a 10-point system. You must be as honest with yourself as possible. There is no need to look for excuses for your saggy belly or low salary. Just finally admit to yourself that everything is bad in these areas and you need to do something about it.

After this, connect the points on the scale with a line. If the resulting figure in the center resembles a circle, then you can only be congratulated. You are in complete harmony with yourself and with the world around you.

If you get a crooked figure, you will be able to see which sector you need to work on in order to achieve harmony and happiness. In addition, by putting one sector in order, you can positively influence other parts.

After analyzing each sector, you must set global goals, which you need to break down into several small ones and confidently strive for them. In addition, the goal should be achievable, so be realistic and don’t try to become slim like Angelina Jolie and find yourself a prince in the person of Brad Pitt.

Get yourself a diary and write down in it what you have achieved, every small victory. For example, you gave up unhealthy but tasty food. Praise yourself for this.

A positive outlook on the future is half the success

Personal development cannot be achieved without a positive outlook towards the future. If you always think that you will achieve nothing, that there are no results, thoughts will swarm about giving up everything, you will never achieve anything.

You should greet every day with a smile, rejoice in even the smallest victories, see the positive in everything, notice changes in yourself.

Of course, thoughts alone are not enough for a person’s self-development. Actions are important. At first, 30 minutes a day is enough to read a book and learn something. You can even just not sit on social networks or watch TV in the evening, and this will already be a victory and the first steps on the way self-improvement.

Literature for self-improvement

Books for self-development are another step towards improving your personality. There are many primary sources, such as the Bible or books on the teachings of Tao, but they will be incomprehensible to many.

Today there are a lot books for self-development. We present you a list of some of them:

1. Les Hewitt, Jack Canfield and Mark Victor Hansen "A Whole Life". It will teach you how to set realistic goals that are easy to achieve. You will be able to correctly prioritize;
2. Dan Waldschmidt "Be the best version of yourself." This book can radically change your life. It tells how ordinary people become extraordinary;
3. M. J. Ryan “This year I...” This book will be useful to everyone, as it helps to change habits, keep promises to yourself, and change your life for the better;
4. Brian Tracy "Get out of your comfort zone." Recognized worldwide as the #1 book on self-development. You will be able to step out of your comfort zone to achieve maximum goals;
5. Kelly McGonigal "Willpower" How to develop and strengthen? The author believes that willpower is like a muscle that needs to be pumped up and strengthened.

All books have one main meaning - self-development never ends. You can work all your life to develop your personality, to make your life bright and unforgettable. Each of us strives to be better, but this quality must be used wisely.

A few rules for self-development

Each person lives in his own comfort zone, and we are often afraid of something new and unknown, which is why it is so difficult, and sometimes scary, to change our lives. The process of self-development needs to be turned into a habit so that you never stray from this path.

Where should you start self-development? Plan Simple steps will help you gradually develop this habit:

- life depends directly on our desires and actions. There is nothing impossible about it. Never tell yourself that something can't be done, just think about what it takes to make it achievable;

— break the path to the main goal into several small ones that are easy to achieve. Once this becomes a habit, you can set more goals for yourself;

- in the evening, think about everything that happened to you during the day. Record your successes and failures. If you did something wrong or it didn't work out, think about what would have changed if you had done it differently.

Do not forget that self-improvement is a difficult path, but very interesting. If you once decide to change your life, always stick to this thought and believe that the result will meet all expectations. Always look at life, successes and defeats with a positive outlook, and then you will definitely succeed.

You have decided to start a new life. Congratulations! This means that you realized something, understood it for yourself, and decided that there is no point in living like this anymore. It's time for change, and it's wonderful. But where do these changes begin?

The period of awareness has passed. You understand that your previous life has no meaning, and everything that you did brought you neither benefit nor pleasure. What will kick you into a fulfilling, successful future? Each of us has our own motivation. The main thing is that it exists, and you decide for yourself that it’s enough to complain about your aimless existence, it’s time to take everything into your own hands.

Aimless. Let's stop there. It is goals that give meaning to life. Clear. Clear. You see them. You see yourself in your dreams realized. You feel the pleasant coolness of the air conditioner in your new car, feel the sun's rays seem to pierce you while you relax on the snow-white beaches of Cuba, and these sensations seem so distinct to you that you lose the line between reality and fantasy. Return to the present and decide for yourself what you will strive for next. Find short and long term goals for yourself. But they must be formulated correctly to make it easier for you to move forward. There is no need to set yourself many impossible tasks. There are only a few real goals, the implementation of which will make you truly happy. Basically, this means a happy family, a successful career, and growth in what you love. If you achieve this, then everything else will follow on its own.

Write down your goals. Break them down into tasks. What do you need to do to make this dream come true? What can you do now? What do you need to give up in order to bring the realization of your desire closer?

It's time to give up TV and social media. They are simply wasting your valuable time. Start by deleting your accounts. You don't need them anymore. There is a telephone to communicate with family and friends. As a last resort - email. Hours spent looking at pictures on the Internet are considered irretrievably lost, and the most offensive thing is that they are the ones that move you away from real happiness.

Have you decided what you want? You may need help. Don't be shy about asking friends and acquaintances for favors. People are there to help each other. Delegate authority. There are things that your comrades can do great, but that you don’t understand. Don't waste your time on them. Ask for help from those around you. Distribute responsibilities.

Learn to refuse. Stop agreeing to things you don't like to please those you love. Often, people ask you for a favor not because they need help, but because they are simply too lazy to do something themselves.

Love yourself. Start loving yourself immediately! Until you do this, you have no right to demand sympathy for yourself. Take care of your health, spend money on proper nutrition and personal care, dress the way you like, and do what makes you feel joy. Love life, and in return it will give you everything you dream of!

Hello, dear readers of Valery Kharlamov’s blog! To achieve what you want, to advance, both in your career and in your personal life, a person must leave his comfort zone, act and develop. Therefore, in order to simplify this process, and in general, make it possible, it is important that the work on oneself never stops, that is, it is permanent.

Once you take a step forward towards change, try not to stop. After all, it’s easier to move by inertia than to gather your courage and try to move. It is especially difficult if you have spent quite a lot of time on it, in which case you will feel that you have become “grown” to it. And this causes such a strong fear of change that it will be easier to tolerate something than to take the risk of doing it differently.

It is for this reason that many victims of domestic violence do not leave their abusers. But, if they begin to take care of themselves, learning and realizing, then the moment will come when internal changes will occur and entail external ones.

2. Motivation

As we have already found out, human psychology is such that it is easier for him to sit in one place, even if it is not comfortable, than to get up, fall, get up again, and so on. To move, you need good motivation, then you will have no time to think about how to force yourself to act.

Do you know what you want to achieve, what you live for? If you haven't decided yet, take it into account.

3. Responsibility

Realize that the responsibility for your life and its quality rests only with you, therefore everything that happens to you is a consequence of your choices and actions. Therefore, if you don’t know where to start working on yourself, give yourself an iron rule: rely only on yourself and always be responsible for your actions, even if you really don’t want to.

I am not calling for giving up support and help, but I just want to convey to you so that you do not expect it as a matter of course. Someone may or may not help you, so always rely only on your own strengths.

It is when you stop sitting and waiting for miracles that someone will notice you so good and give you a bag of money - you will have a chance to earn it yourself, turning your dream into reality.

4. Performance

To realize that you are not ideal in some ways, and in some nuances you are not at all up to the norm, you need to be brave and strong in spirit. It is also important to understand that if you give it your all, you can achieve almost everything you want and cope with any difficulty.

Therefore, instead of being upset that you fall short in something, gather your will and get to work. Yes, it will be difficult, sometimes it will seem fruitless and useless, but believe me, your work will be justified and bear fruit.

5. Planning

Plan your activities, this will make it easier to understand when and what to do. And there will be fewer temptations to relax, because every day will be scheduled, even rest. If you don’t know how to do this, and you’re used to living without setting clear goals, everything can be fixed.

6. Balance in life

So, let's say you've tuned in and realized the full level of responsibility, but what next? And then you need to determine which area in your life requires attention and correction. A technique such as drawing up a life balance wheel will help you with this.

Then you will know exactly what you missed and by what percentage: personal life, health, professional activity or recreation. Or maybe the spiritual component of your personality has suffered a little?

7. Reading

Read every chance you get. This way you can not only replenish your knowledge, but you will also involuntarily train your memory, thinking and attention. And I recommend starting with books on the topic of self-development.

For example, such as "Get Out of Your Comfort Zone" by Brian Tracy, by the way, it is a bestseller and a leader among books on this topic. Or "This year I..." by M. Ryan, which will help you cope with bad habits and teach you how to keep promises, even those addressed to yourself.

9. Step by step

Constant work on yourself is possible only if it is gradual, otherwise, by giving yourself an increased load that does not correspond to your capabilities, you can quit the race halfway, without having time to achieve the desired changes. Therefore, be sure to take this moment into account, it will allow you to notice reality and not be fascinated by fantasies.

Let's say you want to lose excess weight - plan activities to combat the hated kilograms so that the body does not experience stress from unexpected, overwhelming changes. Take care of yourself.

Conclusion

And that’s all for today, dear readers! Internal work on yourself is actually a colossal work, so I wish you success in this process and inspiration! And to check how developed your abilities for self-organization and self-control are, I suggest taking an online test.

The material was prepared by Alina Zhuravina.