How to cope with stress after leaving your job? How to survive dismissal with dignity Firing is stressful.

Which employee, upon hearing an offer to leave the company, did not ask the question “Why?” Who among the leaders has not scrolled through their head this way and that the answer to this question? Which HR person didn’t have a sad heart ache at the need to participate in such an event?

Even when an employer behaves decently, dismissal is most often perceived by a person as a painful and unfair decision, if not a disaster. But there are many things you can gain by leaving a company.

What are the benefits of being fired?

Cash compensation

In what cases can you count on it?

You have not committed any misconduct - no disciplinary action has been taken against you during the last year.
You have been working for the company for more than 6 months.
You have not received negative assessments of work performance/personnel certification results.

The factors listed above indicate that it will be quite difficult for a law-abiding employer to part with you unilaterally; you will have to negotiate.

Freedom

It often happens that not only the company has accumulated a certain level of dissatisfaction with the employee, but the employee himself is not satisfied with everything. Now you have complete freedom of action, and it is important to use it with a cool head. Don’t rush to the first offer and don’t look for a “clone” of your previous employer.

Feedback

But that's not all. Laid-off employees often neglect a valuable resource that, if behaved appropriately, is not difficult to obtain: honest feedback.

In a situation where you are offended and closed, few people manage to immediately perceive what is said without devaluing or denying the criticism. However, a little later, when passions have subsided, you will be able to look at the feedback received with different eyes.

Often, employees who, after dismissal, have maintained friendly relations with former colleagues, partners, clients, use these old contacts to their advantage in the next stages of their career. With their help, they receive interesting offers, orders, projects, as well as just help and advice.

If you remain calm and friendly during the dismissal process, you will probably be able to negotiate positive recommendations with your former manager. This can play an important role in future employment.

How to behave during dismissal

Be polite and reserved

Even if you are torn inside by anger and a sense of injustice, remember: the calmer you are, the more you will receive. Management will be more open and willing to make concessions if you don't give them a hard time. So keeping a cool head is in your best interest.

Many people think that in the end they can express their feelings to the “offenders” from the bottom of their hearts. Most often we are talking about a former boss or employees of the HR department. However, this should be avoided. By doing this, you can create a long trail of problems for yourself and a reputation as a person who cannot cope with emotions. Believe me, 5 minutes during which you will “blow off steam” are not worth it.

Be ethical

Taking your client base/database/unfinished transactions with you is often more expensive. In addition, if you are caught copying confidential data, you will definitely be left without monetary compensation and positive reviews. This is a serious offense that gives you the right to fire you without any benefits.

Prepare to talk with management

You need arguments to get the most from your employer. Such arguments could be:

long period of work in the company
your achievements and successfully implemented projects
positive results from formal performance evaluations/past performance reviews
good relationships in the team

The more of these things you remember, the better. The employer will understand that you know your rights, so it will be difficult to deprive you of your due compensation. And remember the attitude: nothing personal, just business. Don't get emotional.

Agree on dismissal by agreement of the parties

Moving on to the formal side of the issue and monetary payments: most often, a law-abiding employer offers to part by agreement of the parties (clause 1 of part one of Article 77 of the Labor Code of the Russian Federation) with some compensation. The company probably has a “plan B” in case of your disagreement; it usually provides for dismissal due to staff reduction (clause 2 of the first part of Article 81 of the Labor Code of the Russian Federation).

For a company, this path involves additional paperwork and unwanted attention from supervisory authorities. In addition, there is a clearly established procedure for actions and payments by the Labor Code of the Russian Federation. It turns out that it is much easier for the employer to come to an agreement with you and sign an agreement.

For both parties, an agreement is the best way out of the situation: you get money and, for example, positive recommendations, the company gets a simplified process, no scandals and time savings.

Learn your rights and calmly voice your expectations for compensation (this is where arguments come in handy). If the employee behaves correctly and there are no significant violations, it is almost always possible to come to an agreement with a payment of 3-4 times the salary.

Enlist the support of loved ones

According to research by psychologist Michael Argyle, who has studied the factors that influence people's feelings of well-being and happiness, being fired from a job is comparable in stress levels to life disasters such as serious illness, divorce and imprisonment.

Therefore, I would like to wish everyone for whom this is important to receive moral support. If the help of loved ones and your own resources are not enough, and you feel that you cannot cope with the situation, succumb to despair and fall into apathy, turning to a professional psychologist may be a good solution.

The current situation on the labor market is far from ideal - many companies are reducing not only plans for recruiting new employees, but also laying off staff. Not in all cases, dismissals take place in compliance with all the nuances of labor legislation. We were prompted to write this article by a real situation - one of the victims of such dismissal told about her story. After she submitted her report for the first quarter, she was informed that she was fired, forced to write a statement and literally “squeezed out” from her workplace. That same evening they called an ambulance - her heart ached and her blood pressure rose. Several days have passed and health problems continue. We decided to figure out who could get into this situation and what needs to be done next.

There are several reasons why you may become a victim of sudden dismissal:

Victim of downsizing. The most common option nowadays. Things are not going well at the company, management decides to cut some of the staff and divide its functions among the remaining ones. There is a chance to talk with management and convince, if not of irreplaceability, then of postponing dismissal - but it is tiny. You will still have to look for a job.
They are looking for someone else to take your place. This may not necessarily be someone's relative or acquaintance. Perhaps management felt that in a crisis situation you are less effective than another specialist. You are being sacrificed to the strategic interests of the company. The situation is hopeless, it is better to come to an agreement with management for your own benefits in exchange for your compliance - either a longer period of “leaving” your position, or severance pay. If you manage to negotiate, take advantage of the situation to the fullest for further employment. And do not forget to maintain normal relations with colleagues and management.
Leader's victim. There are two subspecies here. In the first case, you and your manager simply have mutual (or one-sided - and you don’t even know about it) personal hostility. The manager is forced to tolerate you as long as the company needs you (due to the affection of the highest management, personal high qualifications, or key participation in an important project). As soon as circumstances change, you are fired. In the second case, the leader changes - and a new one comes with his team. And there is no place for you on this new team.
You don't fit into the current situation. Perhaps the company is changing faster than you, and it is difficult for you to work in constant change. Or, on the contrary, you are sure that you know everything better than anyone and have stopped valuing your work - you have become defiantly careless and this irritates management. You start to ignore important areas of work and don’t notice it. The result is the same - they break up with you.

What to do if you are a victim of dismissal? If one morning, when you come to work, instead of the usual greeting, you hear from your boss a vague request to go into the office, where you are presented with a fact: “You are fired!” Even if the boss delicately tried to convey the “verdict”, and you are not a naive young lady, stress and negative emotions caused by such a resignation are guaranteed. It is especially unpleasant when there are no visible reasons for dismissal, and you are forced to write a letter of resignation.

So, what needs to be done to survive this unpleasant event:

Don't despair. If you are fired from your job, do not despair, collect your thoughts and think that this is just a job, and life does not end there. There is no need to narrow your entire life to the size of a desk. Don't go into deep thoughts about what you did wrong. Such questions will arise in your mind, but do not let them occupy all your thoughts. This situation is already behind you, and you are not yet ready to draw conclusions for the future. Extraordinary endurance, optimism, calm under the most difficult circumstances - all those qualities that will help you survive dismissal from work.
Leave with dignity. There is no need to throw out emotions on colleagues or, even worse, throw a tantrum with a scandal to management. Act as if you yourself decided to quit. Thank your colleagues for their cooperation, put your documents and workplace in order.
Don't consider yourself a failure. Your dismissal does not make you a failure or a bad specialist. Perhaps this happened for reasons beyond your control. In order not to unsettle yourself and not engage in self-flagellation, instead of self-accusation, remember your merits, victories and achievements. Add to this a list of your achievements that remained with you even after losing your job: family, children, friends, hobbies and experience. You will see that you have not lost everything, but only a part (perhaps not the best) of your life, which you will replace with a new one.
Find an opportunity to take time for yourself. After you lose your job, you don't need to immediately look for a new one. Don't go into interviews with a pained face and don't beg to be hired. Relax, spend time and attention on your loved ones, take care of your own health. Under no circumstances be led by emotions and do not drown your problem in alcohol.

Even if you are left without work, try to maintain the same daily routine that you had at work. Only “working time” needs to be spent trying to get a new job. To make your new job more successful, you need to work on your mistakes, no matter how painful it may be. Try to figure out what in the dismissal depended on you and what did not. If you realize that you partly gave the reason for dismissal - you didn’t put in enough effort, you were late, and so on - try not to repeat this in your new job.

9 12 326 0

Dismissal can be compared to the stress that a person receives after a divorce or the death of a loved one. One gives up, life becomes meaningless, the future does not exist.

At first, it is difficult to objectively assess the situation, much less see the benefits of this situation. The idea that everything that is not done is done for the better does not even arise. What good can come from someone taking away a source of income? Someone outside decided that it’s time for you to tie your belt tighter, and that you are worth nothing in this life. The first desire comes to take revenge, to screw things up in the end and to do everything so that the authorities bite their elbows from such a decision.

You need to leave with dignity. After all, his future life will largely depend on how the fired person behaves.

You can go into a steep dive and not get out of it. Or you can pull off a great trick and emerge victorious. No one is immune from anything, especially from losing a job. Any loss entails a decrease in self-esteem. If your husband left you, it means you are unlucky and ugly. Kicked out of work means she is stupid and unreliable. Self-esteem slides down with furious force, and resentment gains momentum.

Why were you fired?
Am I the worst employee?
They always decide everything for me.
I am a nonentity, a loser and unlucky.

When such thoughts come to mind, you immediately need to rebuff them.

The opinion of one person, even the boss, means absolutely nothing. Does not reflect the true reasons and attitude towards you.

Perhaps the boss’s godfather or matchmaker should simply take your place. Or maybe you are too sexy, and the boss's wife didn't like it. You never know! Often you have nothing to do with it, or something to do with it, but indirectly.

Life did not begin with work, and it will not end with work. In any situation, you should always look for positive experiences.

Don’t complain about the injustice of life, but ask the question: “What did life want to show by this?” If you find the answer, you will rise one step higher in your development.

Practice shows that most often two groups of people lose their jobs:

Inert;
workaholics.

These are the two opposites.

The first ones live by inertia, work because they have to, without moral or material satisfaction. He doesn’t quit on his own, because he’s given up on everything a long time ago, he’s not doing what he likes, he’s not developing, and he’s simply serving his sentence, like in prison. And when such a person is fired, then life simply communicates through someone else’s lips and actions that the person has stopped living, but simply exists, like a plant.
The second (workaholics) replaced their whole life with work. Work for them is mother, wife, and children. At this time, the Ego weakens, the person tries to be comfortable and better, completely forgetting about his true desires. Life does not know how to joke and endure for long, and by being fired it shows a person that work is not the whole of life. This is a frontal attack to make a person come to his senses. Why is such an employee fired? And what kind of boss wants to hear someone’s rapid breathing in his back? We have no irreplaceable people, therefore, those who strive to take a higher place are removed.

So what should you do if you are fired?

No hysteria

Resist the temptation to throw a scandal and throw a tantrum to show off your ill-wishers. You should swallow the offensive words, “put on” a smile and “march” the last exit.

There is no need to try to steal, erase, ruin information on a computer, steal clients and frame your boss, for example in court, by selling confidential information. All such actions will sooner or later come back to haunt you:

The market segments are actually very narrow and potential employers will soon know about your antics.
If you expect your former boss to truly regret firing you in the future, you should take exactly the opposite steps.

Pull yourself together, and on the last day of work say a warm goodbye, say that you worked with pleasure, and this experience will be very useful to you. Of course, they may not call you back, but they will definitely give you a good reference.

People are greeted by their clothes, and make sure that you are greeted by your intelligence, and not by hysteria.

Sobriety, balance, composure and taciturnity are the main qualities of professionals. Therefore, even if you were fired for biased reasons, do not indulge in righteous anger. Conflict will not lead to anything good, but will ruin your reputation. “Hot heads” will always lose to “cold minds.”

Maintain your dignity, leave proudly and even affably. The time will come and you will be proud of yourself.

Leave correctly

Leaving a job is not leaving your wife or husband. Leave all these attacks of pride, they say, I don’t need anything from you, take everything for yourself. You need to work for two weeks according to the law - do it. You need to get pay slips and go around the offices with a walk-through sheet - do it.

Dismissal is not a dead end, it is a new step.

Remember that you were fired, not thrown out, your paths diverged, and not you were betrayed.

Don't look down at your feet, as if apologizing for the fact that your spirit did not immediately dissipate in the office.

Don't hang your nose

Fired? Wonderful! Now there is time to think and make childhood dreams come true. Perhaps you are far from being an ordinary accountant, but an artist. A positive attitude is half the battle on the path to happiness.

There are no hopeless situations, even from the very best, as a rule, there are four ways out.

Even if you lost in a corporate war and lost your income for a while, this is not a reason to doubt your own intelligence, strength and luck. There will be a holiday on your street, especially since now you have time to organize this holiday yourself. Get rid of depression and despondency.

Remember that sometimes a great flight begins with a kick in the butt. Take a running start and move forward to new achievements.

Choose your job carefully

If you were fired from your position as financial director, you should not immediately go to the bakery as a cook. Bake pies at home for your loved ones. If your former boss fired you, this does not mean that you are a bad employee or not a professional in your field.

Don’t waste your time on trifles, don’t settle for crumbs when a whole golden loaf is waiting for you.

Think about it: is the area in which you worked really to your liking? Maybe it's time to radically change your life?

Take a rest

Consider that you were not fired, but that you took a vacation at your own expense. And vacation is a good thing. So be on vacation, and not behind the scenes. Read, take courses, go to the sea, which you haven’t gone to for the last ten years. Do some handicrafts, build a bathhouse, or at least clear out the pantry, and make yourself a workshop there.

Don't let the blues steal your free time and make you feel like a loser. There will be a lot of free time in your life, and these voids need to be filled with something really worthwhile.

According to psychological practice, such a situation is a nutritional component for the manifestation of neurological diseases, unless, of course, you let stress, fears for the future and low self-esteem come close to your heart. A person can get into a vicious circle: falling into depression due to lack of work, he cannot find one.

If this mental state lasts for a long time, then depression can give way to physical illness.

This effect is often observed in laid-off and retired people. For example, a pensioner immediately after retirement begins to age rapidly; it is as if he allows himself to get sick, because now he has time for it.

Cut ties

Nobody forbids maintaining “casual” acquaintances. Let it be superficial sometimes. In this case, the former team acts as a handkerchief during a runny nose.

Each time you wipe your tears, you will recharge the old infection. You were hurt during your dismissal, and it will hurt just the same every time you live the life of the previous team.

There is no need to find out who came to your place, how things are going at the company, where the boss went on vacation, etc. And in the future, when you get a better job, don’t rush to immediately transfer one of your former employees.

Don't take old defeats with you into your new life. Of course, it happens that a true friend can be found in the old team, but this rarely happens.

How to survive being fired?

“Olga Ivanovna is 36 years old; for the last 2 years she has worked as an accountant in a large organization, was a promising employee and dreamed of a promotion. I heard the news of the dismissal from the new director, who took office a month ago.

The boss called her into his office and said that the company no longer needed her services. He indifferently thanked him for his work and offered to leave of his own free will. He said something indistinctly about shortcomings in the work, hinted at his professional incompetence. It was not possible to achieve any specifics, general phrases.

Olga Ivanovna was shocked; she saw no reason for dismissal. Resentment, irritation, anger came up like a lump in my throat. Uncertainty awaited her ahead...”

Almost every person has experienced dismissal in their life. Drastic changes associated with loss of earnings and painful searches for work at an already advanced age only add to the fear of the new reality. How to survive dismissal and maintain faith in yourself? Why does losing a job hurt your pride so much? How to find a decent new job?

Why is dismissal so painful?

Almost always the situation associated with dismissal is perceived painfully. The reason lies in our unconscious. The Leader and the Company are perceived by us as a parental para-symbolic Father and Mother.

Father (leader): trains, guides, develops (sends to negotiations, trainings, seminars); closely monitors achievements (monitors employee performance, reports, plan implementation); shows severity and generosity (punishes with a reprimand, scolds, fines, rewards).

Mother (Company): accepts into its arms (team); feeds, waters (gives wages); develops (provides the opportunity for career growth); entertains (corporate events and holidays).

Losing a job is like breaking ties with symbolic parents. An employee, like a small child, feels that his mom and dad no longer need him, they no longer love him and they drive him away. This makes it painful and offensive. It’s as if the child has become “bad”, and the Mother, no matter what she is, remains the Mother. You can no longer rely on the Father; he is more interested in other children.

Team(children of the Company and the Manager). The Child competed with them for the love of Dad and Mom, fought with them and had fun. And now, after the dismissal, the symbolic family is gone and no one can fill this place in the soul. Aggression, anger, depression - this is what a child feels when he has lost his place among his brothers and sisters.

The feelings are completely understandable

There is no need to perceive this situation as a tragedy and become deeply depressed. Relationships with the symbolic Father and Mother always end when a joint activity, project, or task ends. The basis of relationships is not love, but mutual benefit.

Thanks to being fired, many people finally found themselves, benefited from the current situation and even became famous. Who knows, maybe fate gives you a chance?

5 steps to victory over the situation

You have opened a new chapter in your life biography, you finally have time for yourself, accumulated things to do, forgotten hobbies and unfulfilled desires. It's time to take care of yourself!

Embrace new experiences.

Analyze what really happened, why were you fired? Analyze the possible reasons: being late, a decrease in your efficiency at work, unfairness from your superiors, your own laziness and fatigue, professional and emotional burnout? Or have you “reached the ceiling” in your position and have nothing to strive for?

1.Your strengths.

What strengths do you have? Perhaps you are a wonderful organizer, a responsible executive, an excellent partner or teammate. What problems were you best at solving?

2. Determine the motion vector.

Decide in which area you will continue to move? All roads are open to you. You can improve in an area that is familiar to you or feel free to change your occupation. What do you want from a new job or position? Think about the possibility of starting your own business. Many successful people found themselves in entrepreneurship just after quitting their jobs.

Even after losing a job you love, don’t be discouraged. An important stage in your life has ended, a new one is ahead, approach it responsibly. Don’t blame everyone for your troubles, don’t blame yourself, don’t engage in self-criticism. Draw the right conclusions about what not to do in your new workplace. Thanks to this situation, you have become wiser, your next choice will be conscious and correct.

4.Prepare for a new job.

While searching for a job, improve your professional skills. If internal blocks and fears prevent you from aiming for more, go to a psychologist. Recover emotionally and continue to work on yourself. A hundred percent winning can only happen in one competition, when you compete with yourself yesterday.

5. Work to your liking.

Work should bring joy and pleasure. Do what you enjoy. The result is measured not only by salary, but also by the level of satisfaction from the business you do day after day.

Take action, everything is in your hands!

Dec 13, 2018 billh41235