The women are the first to leave. Six reasons why women leave those they love

Reasons why do women leave men, are quite varied. “Omniscient” statistics claim that in 70% of cases the initiators are precisely.

1. The woman has grown up and is not prepared for family life. I'll start with criticism of some representatives of the fair half of humanity. A woman does not always leave a man because he is such and such, a scoundrel, a scoundrel, a womanizer, a drunk, etc. Then you can continue on your own. A man can be a good family man.

The girl may simply be unprepared for family life. Previously, 100 years ago, there were almost no such problems. Since childhood, and girls are real women. From childhood, they were instilled with certain skills and lines of behavior in the family, which were part of their habits and were strictly followed in adulthood.

Currently, parents are not preparing either boys or girls for family life. It turns out that neither she was taught nor he was taught. You have to learn everything from your own experience. And experience, as we know, is the son of mistakes. Some people succeed, some don't. While we are talking about a woman. So, a young girl of 18-20 years old dreams of an unearthly romantic relationship, lasting “for life,” well, or so. Everything in life turns out to be different, and she runs away from family life back to her parents.

2. The man grew up as a spoiled child and was unprepared for family life. The same as in the first paragraph, only this applies to young men. Naturally, a girl, a young woman will leave this man.

Unfortunately, many young people (both boys and girls) underestimate the complexity of independent family life. Having created a family, it soon becomes clear that life in a family is not an easy walk through life, it is real work. Of course, there is room for romance and adventure in family life. But you also have to try for this. Up to half of divorces occur. Another third - in the second and third years of marriage.

Of course, the reason why women are “unprepared” for family life and leave men is the problem of young families. In families that have existed for more than five years, at the very least. And there the reasons for women leaving will be different.

3. - this is one of the common reasons why women leave men. At the initial stage, a woman may put up with this, or even try to fight it. But when she no longer knows how to get rid of drunkenness in the family, she... defeats drunkenness by divorcing her alcoholic husband.

4. When the husband lives in two families. , preferring to live “here and there.” This happens especially often among men who go on business trips for a long time for work. A woman, having learned about the existence of a second family, can leave the man.

5. A man's reluctance to have children. In the article "" we discussed why some members of the stronger sex do not want to have children. But for a woman, children are part of life. Only women have been blessed by nature with this unique opportunity to give birth to children. And almost all of them want this. Although some do not want to, and we talked about this in the article "". So, if a man does not want children, a woman will look for someone who does. Everything is simple here.

6. The man stopped fulfilling his duties. Many will think that we are talking about “marital responsibilities.” But they will be wrong. We mean and. If a woman bears everything in the family and she has to take care of the children, then her husband becomes another burden for her. She is looking for a way to get rid of unnecessary difficulties. And he finds, getting rid of a man, a burden.

7. The man became very rude and cynical towards her. The old love and romance disappeared. But they were replaced by endless nagging, remarks, and unreasonable demands. They become. The situation is even more aggravated if the man repeatedly raised his hand to the woman. A woman endures and endures for a while, but when her patience runs out, she shows all her inner rigidity, leaving the man.

8. The man is a gigolo, does not work and lives dependent on the woman. Yes, and some women come across such “frames”. But naturally they expect a different ideal. Ideally, everything would be the other way around. And, of course, the woman will leave such a dependent.

9. The husband has become a “stranger” and the woman decides to leave him. Over the years it happens that... Even if everything was fine at first, over the years the relationship may fade. The spouses communicate little, go out together little, and are used to doing without each other. In such a situation there will not necessarily be . It’s just that the spouses are so distant from each other that they don’t feel each other as close people.

Naturally, in this case the woman suffers more. Because she wants to be loved, feels the need for communication and attention. If she doesn't get it, she may end the relationship. As a rule, such situations occur in families with a long history of living together. And they happen when children grow up and leave home - the last link that connected “strange spouses” with each other.

So, we got some idea of ​​why a woman can leave a man. Of course, you can add some other factors, but we have listed the main ones. Next article

However, becoming familiar with them can be extremely useful, since a critical attitude towards others helps to develop your own, more objective and corresponding to reality. That is why the site will now tell you about the position of Justin Shanfarber - a psychologist and marriage consultant. And you yourself think how close his ideas are to you.

What is the essence of Justin Schanfarber's theory?

As a marriage counselor, he constantly encounters broken marriages. Moreover, outwardly everything seems prosperous - the husband earns decent money, the wife does not need anything, the children are well-fed and happy, but then for some reason the lady kicks her husband out of the family, despite the fact that there were no signs of trouble. Even warm feelings remain, but there is no longer any possibility of continuing life together.

According to Justin Schanfarber, this happens because husbands begin to give their wives less attention than they want. After all, everyone needs psychological support and sympathy. But a man who returns home, doing some of his own things, does not give his wife this support. For some reason, it is easier for him to restore his mental energy by fishing, with friends or while watching football. Or, which is even better, communicating with children. But not with my wife.

So she has to look for someone who will give her what she needs. And neither money nor social status will really help here. Without sincere attention, nothing will work, no matter how hard a man tries.

A small criticism

A respected marriage counselor makes it seem as if the woman is the only victim of the circumstances. But he describes a picture of a traditional patriarchal society, in which there is a classic distribution of responsibilities. The man earns money, and the woman takes care of the house. And to his great amazement he discovers that in the realities of modern society this picture does not work.

Because psychological problems have become more numerous, and within the framework of a family built contrary to the principles of equality, they cannot be solved. Who would doubt that this is exactly how everything will turn out.

The classical values ​​of a patriarchal society are good, but only for a certain type of people. For those who are satisfied with their role. For the man who is the breadwinner and the woman who is the keeper of the hearth. They are completely satisfied with their situation, they do not experience much stress about it. And they sincerely love each other, but only within the framework of the same patriarchal values.

But there is no place in them to discuss feelings, emotions and experiences. Because a man is “not supposed to” do this, and women “constantly worry about trifles.”

The solution is simple - a family based on modern principles of equality of rights and responsibilities. A man who doesn’t care at all whether he cooks, looks after the children, or earns money. It’s all equally interesting to him and he manages to do it all, at least a little bit. And the same woman. And only two equal people who love each other can normally discuss what concerns them. Experiences, problems, ideas. When your partner is also a friend, everything becomes much simpler.

We also believe that you would be interested to know which ladies fit best into the framework of a patriarchal marriage. No, if they want, everyone can adapt, but this will make it much easier.

Love cannot be judged, measured, compared, or treated with prejudice, just as one cannot become a fan of the object of one’s love. Everything is so individual, so relative! Everyone will agree that love has no specific definition. There are no boundaries, no walls, and nothing can forever bind those who do not love each other and tie them to each other cordially. But alas, it doesn’t take much effort for love to be destroyed, and every time it’s a disaster. And we ask the question, how can this be? So what happened? Why suddenly? She leaves. Although everything seemed to be in order.

Here are 6 reasons why women leave the men they love:

1. She feels lonely.

A woman should feel like she matters to you. If there is no one next to her who would support her, she will certainly turn to her friend, to her mother, in the end, she will find strength in herself, but a relationship in which her man does not support her is worthless. And then there is no reason to continue the relationship.

A woman perceives her beloved as the whole world. Men tend to get their satisfaction when they are comfortable. And when a woman realizes that her importance is not equal to the one she shows to him, she leaves. There's no point in being unnecessary. This is not love or reciprocity, and therefore she will not stay in this relationship.

2. She received no action, and considers words empty.

A woman loves with her ears, and she is very receptive to affectionate words. And if you promised something, then you should confirm these words with simple and ordinary actions that confirm your connection every day.

You don’t need to be a knight, but you need to act like a knight in everything: taking out the trash, or hanging out the laundry, and doing ordinary household chores without being asked or reminded.

The woman will move forward, realizing that the one to whom she entrusted her heart will reliably protect it from adversity.

3. She doesn't feel attractive.

Relationships behind the bed screen are important for both partners; it is also important that the interest does not fade away, and manifestations of this are present in everyday life, between thousands of joint family everyday life. A woman would prefer spontaneity, surprises and courtship. Why is it that if you pay attention to others or watch adult movies before going to see her, she switches off completely? It is for this reason: she understands that the relationship is no longer the same. And when she overcomes the understanding that the man next to her wants not her, but the nurse or teacher from the video, this is the end and collapse of the relationship. It was time for her to move on.

4. Life is undergoing significant changes.

Basically, women do not demand a new car, a fur coat or boots. These are jokes. And a woman only needs confidence from a man that he is with her and only with her. But then... menopause happens, children go to university in another city, get married and leave home. This is a difficult test for a woman, great psychological stress.

A woman should know that these changes in life are only a temporary difficulty, and next to her is a strong and worthy man who understands her. If there is no such support, a woman is capable of destroying everything in order to start over alone. This way it will at least be easier for her to realize that she is not alone in missing her children in the evenings.

5. Women do not receive basic recognition

One rule applies among men: the older they get, the less participation and interest they show in matters that do not directly concern them. But women need moments like these. Even a small compliment about her dress, hairstyle, or a mug of coffee on the weekend is a good way to make her happy. In middle age, boredom should not become a habit. A woman is not an armature for her man. He should be her companion.

6. “This is not my man!”

A modern woman is able to endure for a long time, and therefore does not need someone who will simply provide for her needs and exist next to her. The days of daddy's girls are over. A woman realizes her potential, and she needs an equal man next to her, a partner who will be in the same harness and on the same team with her. And, of course, these are common interests when spiritual and intellectual goals coincide. If this is not so, she leaves.

When you start a new romantic relationship, the thought settles in your head that you have found stability and personal happiness for many years. You begin to fantasize, imagining a bright future with your new chosen one. But these fantasies collapse overnight when a man declares that he has stopped loving you. Let's talk about why men leave women?

He feels like they are trying to change him

A man decides to break off a relationship for several reasons. The primary role is played by the feeling that they are trying to change him and force him to live someone else’s life. Be careful when focusing on the shortcomings of your chosen one. Don't make wishes like: “If only you would start earning more...” or “If only you would stop meeting your friends on the weekends...”. These words clearly indicate that you cannot accept a man for who he is.

He is jealous of his wife's professional success

Representatives of the stronger sex have very developed pride. If the spouse, all other things being equal, has a more successful career and is the breadwinner of the family, this fact can be very depressing. Sometimes men cannot cope with the increased public attention that their partner enjoys. The roots of this dissatisfaction lie in low self-esteem.

Suspicion of treason

If a man begins to suspect his wife of dishonesty, he can forget about warm, trusting relationships within the family. From now on, the partner will begin to move away until the distance increases to its critical maximum. Of course, the partner may not always be truly to blame. This kind of mistrust can be provoked by “little” lies from the past and a man’s low self-esteem.

Lack of passion in bed

When sexual relationships (for various reasons) gradually fade away, the partner begins to look for a new outlet for his own passion. Women need to remember to maintain the proverbial chemistry in a relationship.

When spouses live together out of habit

Sometimes people start living together out of habit, believing that the marriage will not fall apart due to the presence of children. However, the belief that the husband will not go anywhere is a big misconception. There is nothing worse than living with each other out of habit.

He feels like a hostage to circumstances

Partners in happy and harmonious families spend a lot of time together. If spouses interact more often with friends or parents, this is a bad sign for the couple. There are certainly positive aspects to having personal space and having a vibrant social life. But then you shouldn't be surprised by the presence of a rival.

Talking about past relationships

Openness is part of a harmonious relationship, but don't go overboard when you talk about your past relationships. Some topics will have to be banned.

Female jealousy

A spouse's jealousy can be exhausting and draining. No man can stand “toxic” relationships and hysterics that arise out of nowhere. Start trusting your chosen one.

When you do something without his knowledge

Before you forcefully invade your loved one's family, ask yourself if it's appropriate. Your partner probably has his own ideas about his own sovereignty.

You don't take care of your appearance

Here is the harsh truth of life: men leave their wives for younger women who look much brighter and more impressive. Yes, you could gain weight after giving birth, but why do you refuse makeup, stylish hairstyles and beautiful clothes?

Lack of support

In the end, a man leaves his wife when he feels that the family does not provide him with proper support. They don’t believe in him, they consider him a failure and make fun of his ambitions. Any person will want to prove the opposite. Only there will be another woman next to him.