Juliania Denisova biography. Choir of Irina Denisova (Mother Juliana)

Nun Juliana is perhaps the most famous mother of our days. Some still call her still, in a worldly way - Irina Denisova. It was under this name that she wrote her works - a graduate of the St. Petersburg Conservatory, a teacher at the Lyceum at the Minsk Conservatory, and a choir director. Until one fine day she left this world to become a nun. And one amazing thing happened: Mother Juliana became even more famous and even more beloved.

It seems that the biggest philistine stereotype that, having entered a monastery, a person closes himself off to the rest of the world, is destroyed when you see the fruits of the labors of a mother-musician. Her activity is missionary in the highest sense, because, having learned about her path to God, it is impossible not to change. Films and “Regent” have been made about her. She holds a large festival of choir groups “Derzhavnyi Glos”. Groups have been created on social networks where singers from Russia, Belarus and Ukraine exchange notes and impressions of performing her music. And her chants “Just Everything” and “My Days” became real hits in the Orthodox segment of Facebook and VKontakte. The only thing that limits monastic life (and even more so is its admirers than the nun herself) is that it is not as easy to communicate with her personally as if she worked at the conservatory. And that’s why her arrival as a church composer in Ukraine and the first author’s evening became so long-awaited for everyone to whom mother’s music is so dear.

Her works are performed not only by adult choirs, but also, in transcriptions, by children in music schools. And in Cherkasy Children's Music School No. 2 there is even such a concert number: students (two accordionists, a vocalist and a pianist) sing and play the “French Carol”, recorded by the choir of the Elisabeth Monastery just in January of this year. Numerous listeners on the Internet liked the new work (an arrangement by Mother) so much that the notes posted on the monastery’s website went to the people. That’s how we got to the young performers. Having learned that the “French carol” was being played in Cherkassy, my mother was delighted: after all, chants are written for live performance.

“Of course, it’s good that the children perform,” she says. – And teachers can facilitate choral works. It's very simple: take what's in the lower voices and play it on the piano or synthesizer. And the children sing what is in the upper voice...

The meeting takes place in the organ hall of the regional philharmonic, which is located in the Assumption Cathedral in Kharkov. It is in this city that several choirs successfully perform the works of nun Juliania (Denisova). Mother is known and loved here. There are so many people that there are no empty seats. And now the choir of the Intercession Monastery, under the direction of Anna Shcheglova, performs the chant “My Days” to the words of Archpriest Andrei Logvinov - a piercing work that sounds in the film “Nun”.

This is a kind of calling card of my mother’s creativity and the quintessence of her inspiration. The melody and subvocal “accompaniment”, maximum use of the choir’s capabilities, the penetration of women’s and the power of men’s voices, rolling in at the right time and in the right place – all this makes a stunning impression. Especially at the moment of climax, with the words “Lord, I love you!” Lord, have mercy on me, a sinner!” You listen, sing to yourself and suddenly understand this instant miracle: in a short chant the highest goal of art has been achieved, invisible boundaries are revealed, when singing is no longer singing, but the voice of a crying human soul, a direct call to the Savior, the only important thing in one’s earthly life everyone would like to tell Him. And, shocked by the sudden onslaught of your own, you manage to notice that your face has been in tears for a long time, and the choir is already singing the next “number”...

When intermission comes, the guest sitting in the hall is closely surrounded by spectators. Everyone has the same desire - to reach out with their souls and say how much they love her. Someone gave a box of chocolates, someone - bright calendars, someone - a book of their poems (what if mother likes them and writes a chant on them?). It’s hot - and someone’s caring hand opens a fan and waves it over the heads of those sitting: so that mother would not be so hot...

In the second section there is an opportunity to ask questions. Nun Juliana readily talks about how she came to faith. At first I didn’t dare to act in the film. Until the priest told her: tell us about it, people need your testimony. Director Galina Adamovich made a film that is impossible to watch without tears. Women's fate as it is: a broken marriage, children, illness of the youngest son, difficult recovery, happiness, favorite work and... service.

– “My Orthodox life began with a miracle of healing,” says Mother. – Maybe someone has seen the film “Nun”? It all started with disasters, with cataclysms, when my five-year-old son and I were in a ward for children with cancer...

The time was the beginning of the nineties. Vague, but for the Church it was a time of new beginnings: churches opened, bells rang, and many people then returned to the faith.

“I already felt then that something was going wrong in my life. But what needs to be done? Where should I go to look? I looked in the occult, in poetry, but that’s not it. And then the Lord intervened with such “surgical” measures. He showed me: a child is sick - look for the reason in yourself. So then I started looking...

Not all the mothers in that ward prayed. Many asked: “Why?” And my mother, as she admitted, never once thought about the fact that death was near, that her son might actually die. After tossing, astrology, and all the tried means, she came to God, to confession, to communion. And then there was the usual oncology regimen - long weeks of chemotherapy...

The treatment lasted almost a year and a half.

- My son didn’t walk, I carried him in a stroller, carried him - and he hung like a rag. He had the last stage of cancer. And now - a man 25 years old, he graduated with honors from the Moscow Conservatory. Everything is possible with God, you have to believe!

Many people today ask mother: “Perhaps when the child got sick, you made a vow to go to a monastery if he recovered?” But it wasn't like that at all.

– I didn’t know about the monastery at all then, and there wasn’t a single monastery in Minsk. I prayed for Ignatius at the miraculous icon of the Mother of God in the Assumption Zhirovichi Monastery in the Grodno region - at the main shrine of Belarus. She didn’t give any vows, she didn’t intend to join a monastery. But God then probably already knew how to save me.

And he advises everyone who is wondering “whether to go to a monastery” not to rush:

– When Ignatius went to Moscow to study, the older children were already living separately. I was left completely alone in our renovated apartment. And suddenly I thought: what should I do here? And literally in three days I got ready to join the monastery. The Lord saw my condition. God's will for the monastery is transmitted directly to the heart. If you don’t feel this call, the time has not come yet, don’t rush. It seems to me that they don’t come to the monastery by mistake. They come when called.

Based on the questions that the audience asked Mother Juliana at the meeting, one can judge the degree of trust: they ask the most cherished things. And in response - the most cherished.

– What should I do if my mother is sick and refuses to go to church?

“The Lord will not send you trials beyond your strength.” So, don’t complain – be patient and humble yourself. If you sent it, it means you can do it. A serious illness can be the beginning of a journey. And the path, naturally, is to God, everything else is paths and prevarication. There will be trials and illnesses along the way, but we must learn to live with them. And thank God. Although this, of course, is very difficult, especially when loved ones are sick. All you need to do is pray. All the priests talk about this: pray and do not despair. And your mother will come, of course...

– Which icon should we pray to if God does not give children?

– I can tell you about my son, Klim. He is the middle child in the family. Married at 18. Got married. And they had no children for ten years. On the wedding day, they left the church for five years - they only went to Easter and Christmas. But since childhood, he went with me to monasteries, then to Valaam - he worked, he knew prayers. And it turned out that they had no children. At first they studied, there was no time for that. And then they suddenly realized that not only are there no children, God is not giving them. And then they began to look for their own path to God. We returned to the temple, began to go to services, receive communion, travel to monasteries, and pray about it. And there was a special prayer in front of the icon, because this saint is very close to our family. And ten years later children were born: two boys, John and Timothy. Now they are three years old. So you can probably find your prayer and your saint, and the Lord, of course, hears.
But, as they still say, something else is important. Do not ask God for what God does not give you. He doesn't give because he knows your future. It's you who don't know him. Of course, if you really ask, God will always give. But will you then bear this request?

At the end of the meeting, the audience learned yu where proceeds from ticket sales will go. The Elisavetinsky Monastery is expanding its monastery 35 km from Minsk - a shelter for everyone who finds themselves in a difficult life situation: without a home, without a livelihood, often with severe alcohol or drug addiction. About 120 people live on the farmstead today. They go to Liturgy, pray in front of the icon of the Mother of God “Inexhaustible Chalice,” and work in workshops. It has its own farms, where the inhabitants of the farmstead raise pigs, sheep, goats, chickens, geese and quails. The brothers work in the fields and in the apiary, in construction and in gardens. The monastery provides them with everything they need.

“There is some kind of special life going on there,” says mother. – Of course, we can’t say that everything is perfect: I was an alcoholic, a drug addict, I saw a temple - and stopped being a drug addict. This is desirable, but it is not how it is. But at least they find their way to God. Many break down, leave, then come back again and begin a new round of their journey. And when you are there, you are always amazed by the picture: more than a hundred people are kneeling in the church and praying... singing by heart (because they read it every day) the akathist to the icon of the Mother of God “The Inexhaustible Chalice”...

Long after nun Juliania’s performance, her soul sings. One of her most famous songs, written to the words of Archpriest Andrei Logvinov. This song contains a little bit of advice, just a recipe for happiness on this earth. It's difficult. But still it is possible:

Just something: love,
Light up your candle heart!
Then, like a fish in the depths of the river,
Above you will see a different height...

Just love everything
Just don't judge,
Just don't be sad,
Just forgive everyone.

Mother, children - such a huge scope for creativity, I would like to devote my whole life only to them. But when line after line is born in your mind, and ideas just flow out, what to do with this inspiration - create, taking time away from your family, or put it aside “for later” when everyone has grown up?

The first question that comes to mind is why are you asking a nun about children and family? There is an opinion that everything should remain in the past.

But this is not entirely true. There are no “former” children. And you will not become a “former” mother, although over time, the priest says, maternal love must be refracted and develop into the love of Christ. Modern monks come from modern society with its two-parent or single-parent families in which children are raised. In particular, the monk, “among whom the survey is being conducted,” also, so to speak, has a lot of them.

I will speak from my experience, which is very private. Now I think that when you go through this or that stage, you don’t understand what and why you have been given at a particular moment in life. Awareness comes later, especially when you come to God and comprehend the past from the standpoint of faith.

I observe three stages in myself. At first I was such a white-handed girl. Then suddenly she became a woman, burdened with a huge family, who learned everything from need and was very fond of all kinds of household things. And finally, I became a nun - what the Lord probably wanted me to be.

These stages, as I now think, correspond to the biblical images of Martha and Mary. One way or another, these two facets are present in a woman, and the most important conflict in her soul is precisely between these two principles, it seems to me. All other types of conflicts fit into this one, at least in the believing soul.

But Christ answered him. And in another place he said that this “should have been done and not abandoned.”

In my life, these two ministries were embodied sequentially. No one expected that anything would come of this little white girl. When my classmates found out twenty years later that Denisova already had big children, and there were three of them, they grabbed their heads: “Why, she didn’t even know that potatoes should be fried in margarine, she cooked them in a dry frying pan...” This is in a dorm in St. Petersburg . And others later, 30-40 years later, were surprised: “How did Denisova go to the monastery? Is she even suitable for this?..”

The conclusion is to perform the function that you currently feel is correct and natural. At least don't resist. And do it with complete dedication.

Do you have children? Do you feel creative impulses? Do both! Don't sleep. Sleep for three hours. It won't be easy. But then you have to rely on God. But we don’t trust God, I know this from myself...

The advice is simple: trust God. "Trust God!" - we can repeat this to ourselves and everyone a million times a day, but if it were that simple, there would be no non-believers left.

But to lean in one direction or another, to decide, for example, that there is time for children, and we must first take care of them, and then, when they grow up, then... No, I cannot agree with this. Who knows if “then” will come? Maybe there will be no health, or maybe the gift will be taken away, and you would be glad, but it’s not there.

What to do with the stereotypes that prevail around? You sleep for three hours, try to do everything, but every now and then thoughts arise: who needs this and why, I wish I could live like everyone else.

A creative person is always a “black sheep”. But not to use the gift... I don’t know, I couldn’t.

For some time, about ten years, even more, creativity was relegated to the background in my life - for various reasons. Including because there were children. But I still didn’t leave him until the end. It took on other, specifically childish forms, and was aimed at our own children and at strangers - I then worked as a class teacher at the lyceum where my sons and daughter studied.

Now, looking at my past life, looking around, I see that a gift is not given just like that. And you cannot arbitrarily decide how to dispose of it.

What if there is so much creativity that your loved ones are already beginning to suffer from it? How do you know if you're getting too carried away?

When creativity takes on some hypertrophied forms, I think those around you will not let you get lost, they will quickly tell you that you are doing the wrong thing.

Another thing is that we often look for an indulgence: well, it’s true, a woman is a free person. Since a woman has a gift, she must create, no matter what. With such pathos...

How do you mean “no matter what”? What about the children? They are, firstly, your main love, and secondly, they are a humbling factor so that you don’t fly away to where you’re not supposed to fly.

You definitely have to be Martha to the fullest. And then, perhaps, the Lord will give at least a little light to Mary’s work.

Where is the line that a woman cannot cross in self-realization? Your children are already adults, did they tell you about their attitude towards the period when their mother was “all in creativity”?

When they were growing up, I wasn't all about creativity.

For myself, I know for sure that I didn’t like them and didn’t give them much. The soul knows this because it hurts. But the children, thank God, did not develop any complexes. I am very grateful to God for this, because especially during the period when the youngest fell ill, and all attention was paid to him, the rest of the children, who were 11 and 12 years old, were literally left to their own devices. I'm not even talking about creativity.

What is most important in relationships with children? - There is no need for extremes, as in any business. If you didn’t have time and didn’t deliver enough, ask for forgiveness. It’s not cool, you have to try to live, not black and white. You can tell children directly: I’m sorry I didn’t pay enough attention to you today. I'm really sorry, forgive me.

There is no need for this proud pathos: “This is my job, don’t you understand? When you grow up, you will understand! Stay in my place and you will learn how bread is made!” If so, you will get what you don’t want. Or you can do it peacefully. They are people too, they see everything, they understand a lot.

We generally underestimate them, our children. As it turns out later. It’s good if they grow up and become friends and tell you how they lived next to you. And you had no idea how they lived and what they remembered. Ignat, for example, doesn’t remember being sick at all. So, a few fragmentary pictures remained in my memory. But for me... It seems that every day, every procedure I see as if in reality, quite clearly.

I thought now: all the time I have some kind of obedience, work, creative projects. Children really don't get something - love, attention. But, on the other hand, they see what others are deprived of - an interesting, exciting side of life.

That's the point! We had a very creative atmosphere in our family, an open house, someone came all the time, something was discussed. With these same children, we were constantly singing, learning, playing... In some ways, they gained great independence.

There is nothing wrong with creativity in parents, unless it manifests itself in some extreme way. If you don’t come home and communicate with your children in monosyllabic sentences: “That’s not true, that’s not true! Let's get some lessons!" But your whole creative life flows somewhere far away, and they have nothing to do with it.

Our children were aware of everything, we took them with us on trips. You just need to not protect them from their parents’ creativity, but, on the contrary, tell them about it. For example, if you’ve been busy all day, come and describe to your child what you’ve been doing: “You know, we made such a skit!”

– Tell us how songs are born.

– Different songs in different ways. It sounds trite: something comes over you, you can’t get rid of it. A melody just appears in my head. I can compose 50 melodies this evening, give me the lyrics and I’ll immediately sing them to you on the recorder. But is this creativity? No.

For a melody to become a song, it takes a long time to learn. Just imagine, I studied in a special school, an 11-year school, and then at a conservatory. For about 30 years I taught children what a melody is made of, how to break it down into its components, and then assemble it so that it becomes a work. You know, like a designer.

And just like our constructor, any fifth grade student can create a melody. But if you add talent to it, you get something special that is in demand by people. There is such an amazing component in talent - conciliarity. A person talks about something, and everyone thinks that it is written about him personally.

– For example, 50 melodies came into your head, but is it possible to somehow take one of them, arrange it correctly – and make something worthwhile out of it?

- Why? This question arises before any creator.

If the melody torments you, it means you need it. And if not, then don’t torture her.

It happens that some melody comes back to you all the time, you cannot get rid of it without pouring it into a compositionally complete structure of the chant. This must be done, it must be completed.

How many are unfinished? I don’t even count or pay attention, which means they are not needed. Not everything you know how to create should be written down and presented: as I famously wrote. There is some kind of internal censor. He sits inside me and does not allow me to present to people what I myself do not like. I need it to please me to the point of tears. And this is the main sign.

– In church music today there are many melodies for any sacred text. Let’s say there are 500 “Cherubimskaya” melodies, but you write the 501st. For what?

– I can’t say, I have the same question. I am not a supporter of original music in the Church. For what? After all, everything has already been written before us. And it’s not written, but created - these are God-given melodies that make up the code of Znamenny or Byzantine chant. They have no authorship, they are given to people by God.

These are like Rublev's icons. We know that this is Rublev, but if we didn’t know, it would still be the property of humanity. So is the ancient chant - everything is expressed in it. It only bothers those who don’t pay attention, or those who are, in principle, bored with life.

The church needs a different beauty of melodies, not that which is expressed in our sometimes overly sensitive bursts and harmonic turns. The texts don't require this.

For example, “Mercy of peace, sacrifice of praise” are simply responses to a priestly exclamation. And sometimes we make this out of these words - we put some deep feelings there, we almost depict the ringing of a bell. For what? Here everything should be modest, ascetic, as it is in the Znamenny chant.

– Church choirs sing liturgical hymns both in church and at concerts. Is it possible to consider that during the service the choristers pray and do not perform?

– This is a philosophical question. What is praying, what is prayer? Standing on the choir, we try to take into account a lot of things: leaf through the notes in time, take the correct intonation, look at the conductor’s hand, convey the text, build a chord... It would seem - what kind of prayer is there?

On the other hand, for the work that singers undertake, God allows people to hear prayer. And even at a concert. I have heard people say about us many times: “They are praying,” “Today I was at a concert, like in a temple.”

And if someone in the church had told me: “Today you sang like you were at a concert,” I would have quit right away!

Church choir according to the Butusov principle

– Is a director in a church choir primarily a leader? You have such a friendly team, but you probably still need a clear chain of command?

– We have a peculiar situation in the choir, I cannot impose it: do it this way, and you will have it like we have. You just need to be friends. Everyone in our team is very different, but all the choristers consider unity and conciliarity to be the main thing in the choir.

We were making an album for the 20th anniversary of the choir, and each one was filmed separately, no one knew what the previous one was talking about. But when they put it together, it turned out that everyone was talking about the same thing: we are friends, we are family. And it is very dear to me. How to achieve this? Just love.

Like Butusov in a song that I really like: “All you need is love.” There is a decoding of what love is: not this snotty romantic feeling that is there today and gone tomorrow, but real love.

– Does burnout happen in the choir?

- Certainly. What to do? Don't make any decisions. You didn’t put yourself here, it’s not your choice. This is God's choice. Every singer understands that he is in the choir for a reason. If you feel like it’s not your thing, or you’re bored, you have to be patient, you can’t throw things like that around.

But in our choir such questions do not arise. Precisely because there are other things that hold it together. Firstly, this is professionalism, and secondly and most importantly, human relations. We’ve had a lot of people go through the choir, but some didn’t work out. But those who exist now are a wonderful community, simply God’s mercy.

Someone climbs the mountains, and someone goes to the monastery

– Can a monastic community be called a family?

– Yes, and the monastic community corresponds very well with this concept. The structure there is exactly the same as in a family, only this family has 130 people. If you don’t come to a monastery with the goal of joining the family, there is no point in becoming a monk.

Everything else, of course, should also be there: asceticism, obedience, change in lifestyle. But if there is no brotherly or sisterly relationship, everything will be in vain. Lay people, when thinking about a monastery, incorrectly emphasize that “monastery” comes from the word “mono,” which means “one.” It is clear that our monasticism began with holy hermits, but from time immemorial in Rus', monasteries were communal.

In our monastery, we don’t even live alone in a cell - except for Mother Abbess, who lives in the same cell as us, in the same row, but only one. And living with my sister in the same room is the most difficult thing. But they go to the monastery for difficulties! If you need comfort, why should you go to a monastery?

I had everything in the world: recognition, prosperity, children - why would I run away to a monastery if I didn’t feel some kind of fire, a call inside?

This reason must exist - it is expressed differently among the sisters, but it is not connected with anything material. Not with any passions that someone has abandoned you. There is a point in life when you feel that you can no longer do the way you are now. And you need something to overcome yourself.

Some people climb into the mountains for this and risk their lives there, while others go to a monastery and also risk their lives. With your inner life. We are all at risk - because it is a difficult internal struggle that is not visible to anyone.

With your vanity, self-confidence, narcissism, you go to a place where you will be left alone with them. You don’t yet know how to deal with them, but in the monastery there is a chance that you will learn to see and condemn them in yourself. You still won’t be able to completely defeat them, unless with God’s help, but that’s exactly what it is there, in the monastery.

– As far as I know, your monastery is organized like the monastery of Archimandrite Sophrony (Sakharov)?

– Yes, he and the Monk Silouan of Athos are our spiritual reference points. The whole point of the parallel with the monastery founded by Father Sophrony ( stauropegic monastery of St. John the Baptist in England. – Approx. ed.), – in the general meeting. This is the heart of the monastery. Such meetings are almost nowhere to be found in Russian monasticism, but we have them. And experience shows that the monastery lives by these meetings.

Sometimes they reproach us, they say, “You have such an open monastery, your mothers, fathers, and children come to you. So of course they come, since they are parishioners of our monastery. Should we hide from them, avoid them? We love everyone else, but you, my own child, stay away from me! This is strange to say the least.

In normal Orthodoxy there should be everything - family ties, openness, and a general meeting.

We have two types of congregations - sisterhood and monastics. Sisterhood is when the “white” sisterhood gathers (sisters of mercy, today we have about three hundred of them) and 125 “black”, that is, monastic sisters. And the monastic meeting consists only of the confessor, the abbess and the monastics.

Meetings are weekly and they run very differently. These are not production meetings on the topic “Well, let’s all think about whether or not to lock the monastic building.” There is a discussion of any question anyone wants about internal problems.

Sometimes someone is asked to answer a question, sometimes we ask the questions ourselves. There are also “fights”, there are tearful confessions, there are showdowns. It’s better if the sisters figure it out here, in front of us - the priest and mother will pray and help, and this works one hundred percent, this is what is necessary to really become a sister.

But simply locking it all inside and corking it with a cork on top, like a genie in a bottle, and walking touchingly: “God save me,” don’t touch me, I’m in the house, that’s not true. It is much healthier and more correct to express everything at the meeting, and with the intention not to expose my sister, but to find out what I am guilty of. It's difficult because our nature wants to be right. And we justify ourselves all the time. Sometimes after meetings, your eyes open shockingly, and you suddenly see yourself in the true light - this is what is necessary in a monastery. See yourself.

“Maybe such meetings would be useful in the world.” Sometimes you can’t eradicate some of your minor shortcomings, and they really poison your life.

– Yes, it happens that you get stuck on something for decades, and your confessions turn into a broken record. It seems to me that sometimes you don’t even have to fight this windmill, you just have to live with it. You have to stop and say: “Well, now it’s like this, I saw it, this notch, I condemn it in myself - but so far I can’t do anything. You, Lord, do what you can.”

Be patient with yourself, maybe a year will pass, maybe 10 years. Yes, you periodically make some brutal efforts to tame this monster of yours, you even succeed in something, but then everything returns to normal.

Sin sits like a virus in a person. You cannot get rid of the virus immediately; it can remain in the body in a passive state for the rest of its life. And then he raises his head - and you see that you haven’t coped with anything, you’re in the same place. The main thing here is not to become sad.

Spiritual life is very interesting. And you have to believe that this is not a circle, but a spiral. And someday it will lead to something. Maybe not to the final ideal result - but the main thing is not the result, but the path.

Don't put God between yourself and your child

– We talked a lot about the choir-family, the monastery-family. What is happening now with your family, with your children? What place do they occupy in your heart?

– Two of my children sing in my choir, and I haven’t seen the third for three years. Because he lives in Texas. And I have no grief about this. And I don’t talk to him every day on Skype, and I don’t have Skype at all. I don’t feel any insufficiency here - this is how the Lord arranged it, and it’s good, He arranged everything wisely and correctly.

It’s enough for me that my son and his family are in distant Texas at the church - he is both a reader and a singer, and is on the parish council, and the children study in Sunday school. Orthodoxy can be found everywhere. As a nun and mother, it is important for me that they be with God - and they each took their own path onto this road. Then, when I had already decided that I would not drag anyone anywhere - everything had already been said, everything was shown. Everyone was with me in the choir, and they traveled with me to monasteries. You all know - come on, find your faith now.

Although it is very difficult for a mother to come to such an attitude.

And young mothers often ask me what to do: she puts on makeup, gets piercings, and doesn’t want to go to Church. I say - well, leave her alone, praise this piercing for once.

“Yesterday you weren’t feeling very well, but today you look prettier.” She will then understand that you are on her side. And all the time to differentiate, to put God between yourself and the child - well, then what can you expect from him?

– You have grandchildren, do you have enough time to communicate with them?

“They know that I am their grandmother, but they call me Mother Juliana.” Two of them are in America, and one is here - Andryushka, 11 years old. He is also a parishioner of our monastery. It's not about how much, when and where we see each other. You can have passions even if the man on the moon has flown away from you.

Think about him all the time, don’t let him out of your heart, constantly call and ask if you put on a scarf today, if you finished yesterday’s condensed milk - what is this for? Extra. The children are already big - they are wise, good, strong Orthodox people who have acquired their own faith - not their mother's. And this is very important. And this is what I wish for mothers who ask: “How? Why is she like this or why is he like this?”

– How then does love for children manifest itself?

– Here’s the thing: lend your shoulder in any circumstances. I cannot approve of you in this action, in this choice - but I still love you, I will still regret you, come to me, I will protect you. I’ll cry with you and won’t judge you.

Love is when I do not let a person leave the prayer. I’m no longer capable of more (or less?) now, all these sussies and pussies - people don’t need them.

Maybe someone will say that this is coldness, callousness - but this is not so, ask my children about this. We need to make children our friends. This can only be done by gaining their trust and accepting them completely. And without imposing your advice on them.

- Are you happy?

– There is no such word in the Gospel. For me, this is an important sign: it means that in the space in which I am, in which I serve, this term is not necessary. I don't use it at all in my life. And I’m not interested in talking about it, because you can get bogged down in myriads of interpretations.

Happiness is when you are understood - and rightly so. Happiness is when you live a full creative life - and that’s right. Happiness is when everyone is alive and well, and this is so. But this is not completeness. This word is not enough for me to express what I live by.

Interviewed by Anna Ershova

Of course, this wonderful choir, under the leadership of the truly brilliant regent Juliania Denisova (formerly Irina Denisova), has many interesting and brilliant performances. But I selected only a few, guided by simple considerations - the quality of the sound in the recording. In fact, quite a few performances were recorded “not very well”, and I don’t want to spoil the impression of this band solely by poor performance of the equipment and noisy recording. Although I will still make one exception for the concert “House of the Blessed Virgin Mary”.

Another criterion for selecting the video was the presence of brilliant presenters in the concert, who between works would provide explanations for future chants. And I’ll start with a truly brilliant concert with comments and poems by Archpriest Andrei Logvinov. I would like to say something special about this wonderful person... He has an interesting fate (all the more interesting because it is close in some moments). He graduated from the Faculty of History in Novosibirsk, was a teacher and director of a rural school.

But most importantly, he was both a reader and a singer in the choir and a bell-ringer. Graduated from the Moscow Theological Seminary. But he is famous for his wonderful spiritual poems, which he reads absolutely amazingly. This grandfather makes you fall in love literally at first sight. At such moments, I am completely sincerely surprised at how many interesting people God has.

The second concert offered for viewing first introduced me to the great singer Eduard Lange. He can sing in Byzantine, even imitating an accent. It makes a huge impression. Mother Juliania Denisova gathered unique people. The choir really sounds great!

O. Andrey Kuraev is familiar to everyone - both believers and atheists. There has always been controversy around this strong and powerful personality, but it is impossible to deny the polemical genius of this man. His missionary sermons were always brilliant and there was a time when he was rightfully the best missionary popularizer of Orthodoxy. In the video below, Fr. Andrey Kuraev conducts the concert and conducts it truly deeply. And the theme of the concert is the penitential spirit of Lent. Ah, Lent...a strange and mysterious time when every Orthodox Christian goes through an unusual spiritual experience. It’s rare that anyone remains indifferent after getting to know Lent better.

This time of repentance is a wonderful concert by the Festive Choir of the St. Elizabeth Monastery.

The last concert in our selection is recorded a little worse (no stereo balance, the sound in the left column is a little louder). But this concert is unique in its musical material. Queen of Heaven, Most Holy Theotokos, Intercessor of the human race - the Virgin Mary has many glorious epithets that express any Christian to this amazing personality. The concert “House of the Blessed Virgin Mary,” as the name implies, is entirely dedicated to chants addressed to the Blessed Virgin Mary. If you come to terms with the quality, you can get acquainted with many amazing chants, including the verses of the murdered Optina new martyr Fr. Vasily Roslyakov.

This wonderful choir of Irina Denisova has released many albums and discs. In addition, you can read about Irina Denisova’s choir

The musician Irina Denisova and her original choral arrangements are remembered by many in Minsk. But not everyone knows how she took monastic vows and why she went to the monastery.

Who is Irina Denisova

Her biography, like that of many famous musicians, is difficult and thorny; it had its ups and downs.

Birth and childhood

Irina was born on September 6, 1957 in Minsk, in an ordinary Soviet family. Her two grandmothers had a great influence on her as a child.

Only my maternal grandmother was a believer. And when she saw her praying on her knees, Denisova herself recalls, for some reason she was ashamed. The atheistic environment had its effect.

The second grandmother, on the paternal side, graduated from the Warsaw Gymnasium and was herself a school director; she raised her granddaughter on the high moral principles of classical literature.

Getting an education

Irina entered the Leningrad State Music Conservatory, prestigious in the Soviet Union, the first time. Moreover, in the most difficult department - theoretical and compositional. She was always attracted to spiritual chants. For me, music, she said, was then like icons for Rublev. The Holy Vladimir Icon of the Mother of God already from my student days evoked calming melodies and protected me in life.

Monastic tonsure

When a well-known musicologist in the capital of Belarus made this decision, her friends were shocked. Irina was already over 50 by then, and life seemed to be going well. She was considered a popular composer among lovers of spiritual chants; she was respected and loved.

Denisova was baptized, but, as she herself admits, only formally. I didn’t go to church, didn’t keep fasts, and was interested in astrology. Tragic circumstances that happened in her life led her to the Lord. My husband left the family and my four-year-old son Ignat fell seriously ill. Irina was left alone with three children; there was only enough money for food.

One day a church priest found her crying in church. It was Father Andrei Lemeshonok, who blessed the woman years later to take monastic vows.

The doctors gave no chance of saving Ignat. But a miracle happened - the son survived.

As a result, Ignat’s terrible illness led me to the light. And now I know for sure that if God allows evil to happen, it is only so that later it will benefit man.
Irina Denisova

Irina went to the St. Elisabeth Convent, one of the largest in Belarus. Father Andrei was a mentor there, and Mother Irina (in monastic vows - Iuliania) Denisova began leading the church choir. Venerable Silouan of Athos, his image is the spiritual core of this monastery.

The monastery includes several churches, let’s name the main ones:

in honor of St. Nicholas the Wonderworker;
in honor of the patron saint of the monastery, the Venerable Martyr Elizabeth;
a house church in honor of Blessed Xenia of St. Petersburg in a psychoneurological dispensary cared for by the monastery;
in honor of the Resurrection of the righteous Lazarus of the Four Days at the Northern Cemetery,
in honor of the “Sovereign” icon of the Mother of God.

Personal life

Outwardly, Irina’s life looked quite successful. She met her husband, also a very talented musician, at the Leningrad Conservatory, after which they returned to their native Minsk together. In 1989, husband and wife were baptized. In musical circles, their family was considered ideal.

But after 13 years the marriage broke up. And troubles, one after another, fell on the poor woman’s head. The turning point in her fate was the illness of her son Ignat (oncology in the final stage), who was miraculously saved through his mother’s prayers to the Most Holy Theotokos.

Irina herself came to God and brought her children to Him. In the early 90s of the last century, the difficult process of churching began for them.

She has three grandchildren. Two live in America, the third lives in Minsk, he is a parishioner of the monastery. Grandmother is called Mother Juliana by her grandchildren.

Nun Choir

One of the first spiritual hymns by composer Denisova, with which Great Lent begins, is called “My Soul.” This mesmerizing melody was written back in the mid-90s. Today there are more than 150 of them, many of her original compositions are performed by church choirs.

History of creation

In order to assemble a creative team, two or three people are enough to begin with, Denisova believes. The initiative group is quickly gaining new members. She also looked for them among graduates of the Leningrad Conservatory, from which she had successfully graduated. They helped her: in St. Petersburg - a classmate Elena, in the capital of the Russian Federation - a fellow Muscovite, in Minsk - musician friends.

Previously, Irina herself sang in the church group of the Minsk Peter and Paul Cathedral, where her classmate Lena was the regent. Denisova participated in this team for ten years, and then headed it. So Irina had enough experience in church singing.

Complete democracy reigns in the festive choir of the Minsk St. Elisabeth Monastery. Its creator does not believe that the regent is a leadership position and denies strict chain of command. We are all friends, she says. The people in the team are different, each with their own everyday and church experience. But the main thing that unites them is the spirit of conciliarity and understanding of the spiritual mission that they carry out.

Activity

A church composer not only composes and performs his own compositions, but also publishes them. Fortunately, the monastery where she serves has its own printing house. The collection of harmonizations and arrangements “Singing Touched” has already gone through several editions and is widely known in Orthodox churches. The same printing house produces CDs of church hymns.

The most popular of them:

“Quiet my sorrows”;
“Kontakion to the Apostle Andrew”;
"Under Your mercy";
"Cherubic Song".

They are often performed at the Minsk Church Song Festival and are included in the repertoire of almost all large Orthodox churches.

As regent, mother often has to travel to concerts. Nun Juliana especially loves to perform at sacred music festivals in St. Petersburg, the city of her youth, where she studied and where she was known by another name.

The nun is happy to share with listeners not only her wonderful performance, but also stories about creating her own arrangements, such as “That’s All,” “Our Faith,” and the canon of the Nativity service.

The nun answers questions regarding spiritual life, gives lectures on Christian music, gives interviews to journalists, and maintains her VKontakte page. Although she is not registered on social networks, she goes into her group, reads comments, writes explanations, posts notes and audio recordings, and announcements about upcoming concerts. He is also published in the newspaper “Tserkovnoye Slovo” and in the magazine “Russian Shepherd”, published in the USA.

Biographical films

Both films, telling about the fate of a Christian woman, have a real basis. The ways of the Lord are inscrutable - this is the leitmotif of these films.

Regent

The film tells about the leader of the song group of the St. Elisabeth Monastery.

The story is about the ways people come to God. You can also reach it through church singing.

The heroine of the film, a professional musician, possessing perfect pitch, gathers a unique creative team in the vastness of the former USSR. His repertoire is distributed throughout all churches and choirs of the Orthodox world.

Nun

The film is about the fate of Irina Denisova - a nun, and later a nun - who, having found herself in a difficult life situation, did not succumb to the blows of fate. Neither her son’s illness nor her husband’s departure broke her. She came to God's monastery and became a nun.

The film uses audio recordings of church choral singing.

The main ideas of “monastic” films:

life's difficulties are trials given by the Almighty;
it is impossible to come to God without suffering, but the Lord gives only such a load as a person can bear;
There are different roads leading to God's temple:
The test is followed by a reward - God's protection and protection.