7 parallel lines. Meeting or seven red lines
Meeting or Seven Red Lines
Petrov came to the meeting on Tuesday. There they took out his brain, put it on plates and began to eat it, smacking their lips and generally expressing all sorts of approval. Petrov’s boss, Nedozaytsev, prudently distributed dessert spoons to those present. And so it began.
Colleagues,” says Morkoveva, “our organization is faced with a large-scale task. We have received a project for implementation in which we need to draw several red lines. Are you ready to take on this task?
Of course,” says Nedozaytsev. He is a director, and is always ready to shoulder a problem that someone from the team will have to bear. However, he immediately clarifies: “We can do this, right?”
The head of the drawing department, Sidoryakhin, nods hastily:
Yes, of course. Here Petrov is sitting with us, he is our best specialist in the field of drawing red lines. We specifically invited him to the meeting so that he could express his competent opinion.
“Very nice,” says Morkoveva. - Well, you all know me. And this is Lenochka, she is a design specialist in our organization.
Helen covers herself with paint and smiles embarrassedly. She recently graduated from economics, and has the same relationship to design as the platypus has to designing airships.
So, says Morkoveva. - We need to draw seven red lines. All of them must be strictly perpendicular, and in addition, some need to be drawn in green, and others - transparent. Do you think this is real?
No, says Petrov.
Let’s not rush to answer, Petrov,” says Sidoryakhin. - The problem has been set, and it needs to be solved. You're a professional, Petrov. Don't give us any reason to think that you are not a professional.
You see, Petrov explains, the term “red line” implies that the color of the line is red. Drawing a red line with green is not exactly impossible, but very close to impossible...
Petrov, what does “impossible” mean? - asks Sidoryahin.
I'm just outlining the situation. There may be people who are colorblind for whom the color of the line really wouldn't matter, but I'm not sure that the target audience for your project consists solely of such people.
That is, in principle, this is possible, do we understand you correctly, Petrov? - asks Morkoveva.
Petrov realizes that he has gone too far with imagery.
Let’s put it simply,” he says. - The line, as such, can be drawn in absolutely any color. But to make a red line, you should only use red.
Petrov, please don’t confuse us. You just said that this is possible.
Petrov silently curses his talkativeness.
No, you misunderstood me. I just wanted to say that in some extremely rare situations, the color of the line will not matter, but even then the line will still not be red. You see, it won’t be red! It will be green. And you need red.
There is a short silence, in which the quiet tense buzz of synapses can be clearly heard.
“What if,” Nedozaytsev says, struck by an idea, “we draw them in blue?”
It won’t work anyway,” Petrov shakes his head. - If you draw in blue, you get blue lines.
Silence again. This time he is interrupted by Petrov himself.
And I still don't understand... What did you mean when you talked about transparent color lines?
Morkovyova looks at him condescendingly, like a kind teacher at a lagging student.
Well, how can I explain it to you?.. Petrov, don’t you know what “transparent” is?
And what is the “red line”, I hope you don’t need to explain either?
No, don't.
Here you go. You draw us red lines with a transparent color.
Petrov freezes for a second, thinking about the situation.
And what should the result look like, please describe it? How do you imagine this?
Well, Petro-o-ov! - says Sidoryahin. - Well, let's not... Do we have a kindergarten? Who is the red line specialist here, Morkoveva or you?
I'm just trying to clarify the details of the task for myself...
Well, what’s incomprehensible here?.. - Nedozaytsev interjects into the conversation. - You know what a red line is, right?
And what is “transparent”, do you also understand?
Of course, but...
So what should I explain to you? Petrov, well, let's not stoop to unproductive disputes. The task has been set, the task is clear and precise. If you have specific questions, please ask.
“You’re a professional,” adds Sidoryakhin.
Okay,” Petrov gives up. - God be with him, with color. But do you have something else with perpendicularity there?..
Yes,” Morkoveva readily confirms. - Seven lines, all strictly perpendicular.
Perpendicular to what? - Petrov clarifies.
Morkovyova begins to look through her papers.
Uh-uh,” she says finally. - Well, kind of... Everything. Between themselves. Well, or whatever... I don't know. I thought you knew what perpendicular lines there are,” she finally found it.
Yes, of course he knows,” Sidoryakhin waves his hands. - Are we professionals here, or not professionals?..
Two lines can be perpendicular,” Petrov patiently explains. - All seven cannot be perpendicular to each other at the same time. This is geometry, 6th grade.
Morkovieva shakes her head, driving away the looming ghost of a long-forgotten school education. Nedozaytsev slams his hand on the table:
Petrov, let’s skip this: “6th grade, 6th grade.” Let's be mutually polite. Let's not make hints or descend into insults. Let's maintain a constructive dialogue. It's not idiots gathered here.
“I think so too,” says Sidoryakhin.
Petrov pulls a piece of paper towards him.
Okay, he says. - Let me draw it for you. Here's the line. So?
Morkovyova nods her head affirmatively.
Let’s draw another one... - says Petrov. - Is it perpendicular to the first one?
Yes, it is perpendicular.
Well, you see! - Morkoveva exclaims joyfully.
Wait, that's not all. Now let's draw the third... Is it perpendicular to the first line?..
Thoughtful silence. Without waiting for an answer, Petrov answers himself:
Yes, it is perpendicular to the first line. But it does not intersect with the second line. They are parallel to the second line.
There is silence. Then Morkovyova gets up from her seat and, rounding the table, comes in from behind Petrov, looking over his shoulder.
Well... - she says uncertainly. - Probably yes.
That’s the point,” says Petrov, trying to consolidate the success achieved. - As long as there are two lines, they can be perpendicular. As soon as there are more of them...
Can I have a pen? - asks Morkoveva.
Petrov hands over the pen. Morkoveva carefully draws several uncertain lines.
And if so?..
Petrov sighs.
This is called a triangle. No, these are not perpendicular lines. Besides, there are three of them, not seven.
Morkoveva purses her lips.
Why are they blue? - Nedozaytsev suddenly asks.
Yes, by the way,” Sidoryakhin supports. - I wanted to ask myself.
Petrov blinks several times, looking at the drawing.
“My pen is blue,” he finally says. - I just wanted to demonstrate...
The same thing will happen,” Petrov says confidently.
Well, how about the same? - says Nedozaytsev. - How can you be sure if you haven't even tried? You draw red ones and we'll see.
“I don’t have a red pen with me,” Petrov admits. - But I can absolutely...
“Why weren’t you prepared,” Sidoryakhin says reproachfully. - We knew there would be a meeting...
“I can absolutely tell you,” Petrov says in despair, “that in red you will get exactly the same thing.”
“You yourself told us last time,” Sidoryakhin retorts, “that we need to draw red lines in red.” Well, I even wrote it down for myself. And you draw them yourself with a blue pen. What do you think these are, red lines?
By the way, yes,” notes Nedozaytsev. - I also asked you about the color blue. What did you answer me?
Petrov is suddenly saved by Lenochka, who studies his drawing with interest from her place.
“I think I understand,” she says. - You’re not talking about color now, are you? Are you talking about this one, what do you call it? Perper-something?
Perpendicularity of the lines, yes,” Petrov responds gratefully. - It has nothing to do with the color of the lines.
That’s it, you’ve completely confused me,” says Nedozaytsev, looking from one meeting participant to another. - So what is our problem? With color or with perpendicularity?
Morkoveva makes confused sounds and shakes her head. She was confused too.
With both,” Petrov says quietly.
“I can’t understand anything,” says Nedozaytsev, looking at his clasped fingers. - Here is a task. You only need seven red lines. I understand that there would be twenty of them!.. But here there are only seven. The task is simple. Our customers want seven perpendicular lines. Right?
Morkoveva nods.
And Sidoryakhin doesn’t see the problem either,” says Nedozaytsev. - Am I right, Sidoryakhin?.. Well, there you go. So what is stopping us from completing the task?
Geometry,” Petrov says with a sigh.
Well, just don't pay attention to her, that's all! - says Morkoveva.
Petrov is silent, collecting his thoughts. In his brain, colorful metaphors are born one after another, which would allow him to convey to those around him the surrealism of what is happening, but as luck would have it, all of them, when put into words, invariably begin with the word “Fuck!”, completely inappropriate within the framework of a business conversation.
Tired of waiting for an answer, Nedozaytsev says:
Petrov, will you answer simply - can you do it or can you not? I understand that you are a narrow specialist and do not see the big picture. But it’s not difficult to draw some seven lines? We’ve been discussing some nonsense for two hours now, but we can’t come to a decision.
Yes, says Sidoryakhin. - You just criticize and say: “Impossible! Impossible!" You offer us your solution to the problem! Otherwise even a fool can criticize, pardon the expression. You're a professional!
Petrov wearily says:
Fine. Let me draw you two guaranteed perpendicular red lines, and the rest in a transparent color. They will be transparent and will not be visible, but I will draw them. Will this suit you?
Will this suit us? - Morkovyova turns to Lenochka. - Yes, it will suit us.
Just at least a couple more - in green,” adds Lenochka. - And I have another question, is it possible?
Can one line be drawn as a kitten?
Petrov is silent for a few seconds, and then asks again:
Well, in the form of a kitten. Kitten. Our users love animals. It would be very cool...
No, says Petrov.
Why?
No, of course I can draw you a cat. I'm not an artist, but I can try. Only it won’t be a line anymore. It will be a cat. A line and a cat are two different things.
“Kitten,” Morkoveva clarifies. - Not a cat, but a kitten, so small and cute. Cats, they...
“It doesn’t matter,” Petrov shakes his head.
Not at all, right?.. - Lenochka asks disappointedly.
Petrov, you should at least listen to the end,” Nedozaytsev says irritably. - You haven’t listened to the end, and already say “No.”
“I understood the idea,” Petrov says without looking up from the table. - It is impossible to draw a line in the shape of a kitten.
Well, there’s no need then,” Lenochka allows. - Can’t you get a bird too?
Petrov silently looks up at her and Lenochka understands everything.
Well, don’t do it then,” she repeats again.
Nedozaytsev slams his palm on the table.
So where are we? What are we doing?
“Seven red lines,” says Morkoveva. - Two are red, and two are green, and the rest are transparent. Yes? Did I understand correctly?
Yes,” confirms Sidoryakhin before Petrov can open his mouth.
Nedozaytsev nods with satisfaction.
That’s great... Well, that’s it then, colleagues?.. Are we parting ways?.. Are there any other questions?..
Oh,” Lenochka recalls. - We still have a red balloon! Tell me, can you fool him?
Yes, by the way,” says Morkoveva. - Let’s discuss this right away too, so we don’t have to meet twice.
Petrov,” Nedozaytsev turns to Petrov. - Can we do this?
What does the ball have to do with me? - Petrov asks in surprise.
“It’s red,” explains Lenochka.
Petrov is stupidly silent, trembling his fingertips.
Petrov,” Nedozaytsev asks nervously. - So can you do it or can’t you? It's a simple question.
Well,” Petrov says cautiously, “in principle, of course I can, but...
“Okay,” Nedozaytsev nods. - Go to them, cheat them. We will write out travel allowances, if necessary.
Is it possible tomorrow? - asks Morkoveva.
Of course,” Nedozaytsev answers. - I think there will be no problems... Well, now we have everything?.. Excellent. We worked productively... Thank you all and goodbye!
Petrov blinks several times to return to objective reality, then gets up and slowly walks towards the exit. At the very exit, Lenochka catches up with him.
Can I ask you one more thing? - Helen says, blushing. - When you inflate the balloon... Can you inflate it in the shape of a kitten?..
Petrov sighs.
“I can do anything,” he says. - I can do absolutely anything. I'm a professional.
Petrov came to the meeting on Tuesday. There they took out his brain, put it on plates and began to eat it, smacking their lips and generally expressing all sorts of approval. Petrov’s boss, Nedozaytsev, prudently distributed dessert spoons to those present. And so it began.
Colleagues,” says Morkoveva, “our organization is faced with a large-scale task. We have received a project for implementation in which we need to draw several red lines. Are you ready to take on this task?
Of course,” says Nedozaytsev. He is a director, and is always ready to shoulder a problem that someone from the team will have to bear. However, he immediately clarifies: “We can do this, right?”
The head of the drawing department, Sidoryakhin, nods hastily:
Yes, of course. Here Petrov is sitting with us, he is our best specialist in the field of drawing red lines. We specifically invited him to the meeting so that he could express his competent opinion.
“Very nice,” says Morkoveva. - Well, you all know me. And this is Lenochka, she is a design specialist in our organization.
Helen covers herself with paint and smiles embarrassedly. She recently graduated from economics, and has the same relationship to design as the platypus has to designing airships.
So, says Morkoveva. - We need to draw seven red lines. All of them must be strictly perpendicular, and in addition, some need to be drawn in green, and others - transparent. Do you think this is real?
No, says Petrov.
Let’s not rush to answer, Petrov,” says Sidoryakhin. - The problem has been set, and it needs to be solved. You're a professional, Petrov. Don't give us any reason to think that you are not a professional.
You see, Petrov explains, the term “red line” implies that the color of the line is red. Drawing a red line with green is not exactly impossible, but very close to impossible...
Petrov, what does “impossible” mean? - asks Sidoryahin.
I'm just outlining the situation. There may be people who are colorblind for whom the color of the line really wouldn't matter, but I'm not sure that the target audience for your project consists solely of such people.
That is, in principle, this is possible, do we understand you correctly, Petrov? - asks Morkoveva.
Petrov realizes that he has gone too far with imagery.
Let’s put it simply,” he says. - The line, as such, can be drawn in absolutely any color. But to make a red line, you should only use red.
Petrov, please don’t confuse us. You just said that this is possible.
Petrov silently curses his talkativeness.
No, you misunderstood me. I just wanted to say that in some extremely rare situations, the color of the line will not matter, but even then the line will still not be red. You see, it won’t be red! It will be green. And you need red.
There is a short silence, in which the quiet tense buzz of synapses can be clearly heard.
“What if,” Nedozaytsev says, struck by an idea, “we draw them in blue?”
It won’t work anyway,” Petrov shakes his head. - If you draw in blue, you get blue lines.
Silence again. This time he is interrupted by Petrov himself.
And I still don't understand... What did you mean when you talked about transparent color lines?
Morkovyova looks at him condescendingly, like a kind teacher at a lagging student.
Well, how can I explain it to you?.. Petrov, don’t you know what “transparent” is?
And what is the “red line”, I hope you don’t need to explain either?
No, don't.
Here you go. You draw us red lines with a transparent color.
Petrov freezes for a second, thinking about the situation.
And what should the result look like, please describe it? How do you imagine this?
Well, Petro-o-ov! - says Sidoryahin. - Well, let's not... Do we have a kindergarten? Who is the red line specialist here, Morkoveva or you?
I'm just trying to clarify the details of the task for myself...
Well, what’s incomprehensible here?.. - Nedozaytsev interjects into the conversation. - You know what a red line is, right?
And what is “transparent”, do you also understand?
Of course, but...
So what should I explain to you? Petrov, well, let's not stoop to unproductive disputes. The task has been set, the task is clear and precise. If you have specific questions, please ask.
“You’re a professional,” adds Sidoryakhin.
Okay,” Petrov gives up. - God be with him, with color. But do you have something else with perpendicularity there?..
Yes,” Morkoveva readily confirms. - Seven lines, all strictly perpendicular.
Perpendicular to what? - Petrov clarifies.
Morkovyova begins to look through her papers.
Uh-uh,” she says finally. - Well, kind of... Everything. Between themselves. Well, or whatever... I don't know. I thought you knew what perpendicular lines there are,” she finally found it.
Yes, of course he knows,” Sidoryakhin waves his hands. - Are we professionals here, or not professionals?..
Two lines can be perpendicular,” Petrov patiently explains. - All seven cannot be perpendicular to each other at the same time. This is geometry, 6th grade.
Morkovieva shakes her head, driving away the looming ghost of a long-forgotten school education. Nedozaytsev slams his hand on the table:
Petrov, let’s skip this: “6th grade, 6th grade.” Let's be mutually polite. Let's not make hints or descend into insults. Let's maintain a constructive dialogue. It's not idiots gathered here.
“I think so too,” says Sidoryakhin.
Petrov pulls a piece of paper towards him.
Okay, he says. - Let me draw it for you. Here's the line. So?
Morkovyova nods her head affirmatively.
Let’s draw another one... - says Petrov. - Is it perpendicular to the first one?
Yes, it is perpendicular.
Well, you see! - Morkoveva exclaims joyfully.
Wait, that's not all. Now let's draw the third... Is it perpendicular to the first line?..
Thoughtful silence. Without waiting for an answer, Petrov answers himself:
Yes, it is perpendicular to the first line. But it does not intersect with the second line. They are parallel to the second line.
There is silence. Then Morkovyova gets up from her seat and, rounding the table, comes in from behind Petrov, looking over his shoulder.
Well... - she says uncertainly. - Probably yes.
That’s the point,” says Petrov, trying to consolidate the success achieved. - As long as there are two lines, they can be perpendicular. As soon as there are more of them...
Can I have a pen? - asks Morkoveva.
Petrov hands over the pen. Morkoveva carefully draws several uncertain lines.
And if so?..
Petrov sighs.
This is called a triangle. No, these are not perpendicular lines. Besides, there are three of them, not seven.
Morkoveva purses her lips.
Why are they blue? - Nedozaytsev suddenly asks.
Yes, by the way,” Sidoryakhin supports. - I wanted to ask myself.
Petrov blinks several times, looking at the drawing.
“My pen is blue,” he finally says. - I just wanted to demonstrate...
The same thing will happen,” Petrov says confidently.
Well, how about the same? - says Nedozaytsev. - How can you be sure if you haven't even tried? You draw red ones and we'll see.
“I don’t have a red pen with me,” Petrov admits. - But I can absolutely...
“Why weren’t you prepared,” Sidoryakhin says reproachfully. - We knew there would be a meeting...
“I can absolutely tell you,” Petrov says in despair, “that in red you will get exactly the same thing.”
“You yourself told us last time,” Sidoryakhin retorts, “that we need to draw red lines in red.” Well, I even wrote it down for myself. And you draw them yourself with a blue pen. What do you think these are, red lines?
By the way, yes,” notes Nedozaytsev. - I also asked you about the color blue. What did you answer me?
Petrov is suddenly saved by Lenochka, who studies his drawing with interest from her place.
“I think I understand,” she says. - You’re not talking about color now, are you? Are you talking about this one, what do you call it? Perper-something?
Perpendicularity of the lines, yes,” Petrov responds gratefully. - It has nothing to do with the color of the lines.
That’s it, you’ve completely confused me,” says Nedozaytsev, looking from one meeting participant to another. - So what is our problem? With color or with perpendicularity?
Morkoveva makes confused sounds and shakes her head. She was confused too.
With both,” Petrov says quietly.
“I can’t understand anything,” says Nedozaytsev, looking at his clasped fingers. - Here is a task. You only need seven red lines. I understand that there would be twenty of them!.. But here there are only seven. The task is simple. Our customers want seven perpendicular lines. Right?
Morkoveva nods.
And Sidoryakhin doesn’t see the problem either,” says Nedozaytsev. - Am I right, Sidoryakhin?.. Well, there you go. So what is stopping us from completing the task?
Geometry,” Petrov says with a sigh.
Well, just don't pay attention to her, that's all! - says Morkoveva.
Petrov is silent, collecting his thoughts. In his brain, colorful metaphors are born one after another, which would allow him to convey to those around him the surrealism of what is happening, but as luck would have it, all of them, when put into words, invariably begin with the word “Fuck!”, completely inappropriate within the framework of a business conversation.
Tired of waiting for an answer, Nedozaytsev says:
Petrov, will you answer simply - can you do it or can you not? I understand that you are a narrow specialist and do not see the big picture. But it’s not difficult to draw some seven lines? We’ve been discussing some nonsense for two hours now, but we can’t come to a decision.
Yes, says Sidoryakhin. - You just criticize and say: “Impossible! Impossible!" You offer us your solution to the problem! Otherwise even a fool can criticize, pardon the expression. You're a professional!
Petrov wearily says:
Fine. Let me draw you two guaranteed perpendicular red lines, and the rest in a transparent color. They will be transparent and will not be visible, but I will draw them. Will this suit you?
Will this suit us? - Morkovyova turns to Lenochka. - Yes, it will suit us.
Just at least a couple more - in green,” adds Lenochka. - And I have another question, is it possible?
Can one line be drawn as a kitten?
Petrov is silent for a few seconds, and then asks again:
Well, in the form of a kitten. Kitten. Our users love animals. It would be very cool...
No, says Petrov.
Why?
No, of course I can draw you a cat. I'm not an artist, but I can try. Only it won’t be a line anymore. It will be a cat. A line and a cat are two different things.
“Kitten,” Morkoveva clarifies. - Not a cat, but a kitten, so small and cute. Cats, they...
“It doesn’t matter,” Petrov shakes his head.
Not at all, right?.. - Lenochka asks disappointedly.
Petrov, you should at least listen to the end,” Nedozaytsev says irritably. - You haven’t listened to the end, and already say “No.”
“I understood the idea,” Petrov says without looking up from the table. - It is impossible to draw a line in the shape of a kitten.
Well, there’s no need then,” Lenochka allows. - Can’t you get a bird too?
Petrov silently looks up at her and Lenochka understands everything.
Well, don’t do it then,” she repeats again.
Nedozaytsev slams his palm on the table.
So where are we? What are we doing?
“Seven red lines,” says Morkoveva. - Two are red, and two are green, and the rest are transparent. Yes? Did I understand correctly?
Yes,” confirms Sidoryakhin before Petrov can open his mouth.
Nedozaytsev nods with satisfaction.
That’s great... Well, that’s it then, colleagues?.. Are we parting ways?.. Are there any other questions?..
Oh,” Lenochka recalls. - We still have a red balloon! Tell me, can you fool him?
Yes, by the way,” says Morkoveva. - Let’s discuss this right away too, so we don’t have to meet twice.
Petrov,” Nedozaytsev turns to Petrov. - Can we do this?
What does the ball have to do with me? - Petrov asks in surprise.
“It’s red,” explains Lenochka.
Petrov is stupidly silent, trembling his fingertips.
Petrov,” Nedozaytsev asks nervously. - So can you do it or can’t you? It's a simple question.
Well,” Petrov says cautiously, “in principle, of course I can, but...
“Okay,” Nedozaytsev nods. - Go to them, cheat them. We will write out travel allowances, if necessary.
Is it possible tomorrow? - asks Morkoveva.
Of course,” Nedozaytsev answers. - I think there will be no problems... Well, now we have everything?.. Excellent. We worked productively... Thank you all and goodbye!
Petrov blinks several times to return to objective reality, then gets up and slowly walks towards the exit. At the very exit, Lenochka catches up with him.
Can I ask you one more thing? - Helen says, blushing. - When you inflate the balloon... Can you inflate it in the shape of a kitten?..
Petrov sighs.
“I can do anything,” he says. - I can do absolutely anything. I'm a professional.
The Odessa magazine "Fontan", which I have the honor and pleasure to edit, is 20 years old. Over the years, we have published stories, poems, miniatures, aphorisms and, and, and... over three hundred authors. And not only Odessa residents, but also writers from different (may my geometry teacher forgive me!) corners of the globe.
And what’s interesting is that he drew my attention specifically to Berezin’s story “The Meeting,” from which the title for Alexey’s first book, “7 Red Lines,” was taken. I immediately contacted the author, received permission, and published this brilliant story in the issue.
Since then, the author from Tomsk has become a regular contributor to Fountain, which I never tire of being proud of. And from his first appearance in the magazine, I was confident that we had acquired not only an excellent author, but also a famous writer - the author of many books - his stories were so professionally and inventively written.
Over time, it turned out that despite all his talent and phenomenal productivity, Alexey Berezin had not yet published practically a single book.
And now we have learned that this injustice has finally been corrected and the book is about to be published. Congratulations!..
And Alexey, and future readers.
This is a fun and smart book. The reader, I am sure, will undoubtedly appreciate the skill of the dialogues, the ironic intonation, the paradoxical style, and the confidence of the hand...
Well, let's say a few lines from Berezin:
“Yes,” I supported him. – If there is no fresh air, then it is not fishing. It's like mountaineering without mountains.
“No, well, there is industrial mountaineering,” said Seryoga. -Can you climb a nine-story building using a cable?
“No,” I admitted.
– Have you, Petrushkin, conquered at least one nine-story building?
Petrushkin shook his head with a cucumber sticking out of it...
Remember: a new wonderful storyteller has appeared in Russian literature. With a strong unique voice.
Which cannot be confused with anyone else...
Valery Khait, editor-in-chief of the Odessa humor magazine "Fontan"
7 red lines in green
Meeting
Petrov came to the meeting on Tuesday. There they took out his brain, put it on plates and began to eat it, smacking their lips and expressing all sorts of approval. Petrov’s boss, Nedozaytsev, prudently distributed dessert spoons to those present. And so it began.
“Colleagues,” says Morkoveva, the head of a friendly company. “Our organization is faced with a large-scale task. We have received a project for implementation in which we need to draw several red lines. Are you ready to take on this task?
“Of course,” says Nedozaytsev. He is a director, and is always ready to shoulder a problem that someone from the team will have to solve. However, he immediately clarifies: “We can do this, right?”
The head of the drawing department, Sidoryakhin, nods hastily:
- Yes, of course. Here is Petrov, he is our best specialist in the field of drawing red lines. We invited him to a meeting so that he could express his competent opinion.
“It’s very nice,” says Morkoveva. - Well, you all know me. And this is Lenochka, she is a design specialist in our organization.
Helen covers herself with paint and smiles embarrassedly. She recently graduated from economics and has the same relationship to design as the platypus has to designing airships.
“So,” continues Morkoveva. – We need to draw seven straight red lines. All of them must be strictly perpendicular, and, in addition, some must be drawn in green, and some in transparent. Do you think this is real?
“No,” says Petrov.
“Let’s not rush to answer, Petrov,” suggests Sidoryakhin. “The problem has been set, and it needs to be solved. You're a professional, Petrov. Don't give us any reason to think that you are not a professional.
“You see,” explains Petrov, “the term “red line” implies that the color of the line is red. Drawing a red line with green is not exactly impossible, but very close to impossible...
– Petrov, what does “impossible” mean? – asks Sidoryahin.
– I'm just describing the situation. There may be people who are colorblind for whom the color of the line really wouldn't matter, but I'm not sure that the target audience for your project consists solely of such people.
– So, in principle, this is possible? Do we understand you correctly, Petrov? – asks Morkoveva.
Petrov realizes that he has gone too far with imagery.
“Let’s put it simply,” he says. – The line, as such, can be drawn in absolutely any color. But to make a red line, you should use only red color.
– Petrov, don’t confuse us, please. You just said that this is possible.
Petrov silently curses his talkativeness.
- No, you misunderstood me. I just wanted to say that in some extremely rare situations, the color of the line will not matter, but even then, the line will still not be red. You see, it won’t be red! It will be green. And you need red.
There is a short silence, in which the quiet tense buzz of synapses can be clearly heard.
“What if,” Nedozaytsev says, struck by an idea, “we draw them in blue?”
“It still won’t work,” Petrov shakes his head. – If you draw in blue, you get blue lines.
Silence again. This time he is interrupted by Petrov himself.
– And I still don’t understand... What did you mean when you talked about lines of transparent color?
Morkovyova looks at him condescendingly, like a kind teacher at a lagging student.
- Well, how can I explain it to you?.. Petrov, don’t you know what “transparent” is?
– And what is the “red line”, I hope you don’t need to explain it either?
- No, don't.
- Here you go. You draw us red lines with a transparent color.
Petrov freezes for a second, thinking about the situation.
– And what should the result look like? Please describe it. How do you imagine this?
- Well, Petro-o-ov! - says Sidoryakhin. - Well, let's not... Do we have a kindergarten? Who is the red line specialist here, Morkoveva or you?
– I’m just trying to clarify the details of the task for myself...
“Well, what’s incomprehensible here?” Nedozaytsev interjects into the conversation. – You know what a red line is, right?
- Yes, but...
– And what is “transparent”, is it clear to you too?
- Of course, but...
- So what should I explain to you? Petrov, well, let's not stoop to unproductive disputes. The task has been set, the task is clear and precise. If you have specific questions, please ask.
“You’re a professional,” adds Sidoryakhin.
“Okay,” Petrov gives in. - God be with him, with color. But do you have something else with perpendicularity there?..
“Yes,” Morkoveva readily confirms. – Seven lines, all strictly perpendicular.
– Perpendicular to what? – Petrov clarifies.
Morkovyova begins to look through her papers.
“Uh-uh,” she says finally. - Well, kind of... Everything. Between themselves. Well, or whatever... I don't know. I thought you knew what perpendicular lines there are,” she finally found it.
“Yes, of course he knows,” Sidoryakhin waves his hands. – Are we professionals or not professionals?..
“Two lines can be perpendicular,” Petrov explains patiently. – All seven cannot be perpendicular to each other at the same time. This is geometry, sixth grade.
To clarify the conditions of the problem, I found the original text. The author turned out to be someone Alexey Berezin, a blogger. Everything would be fine, but there is one subtlety. There is one place in the original text that clearly indicates the author's intention:
“Two lines can be perpendicular,” Petrov explains patiently. - All seven cannot be perpendicular to each other at the same time. This is geometry, 6th grade."
That is, it was supposed that there would be seven straight lines, but the author used the word “line”. On purpose or through thoughtlessness, it doesn’t matter now; the task has lost most of its pathos and inadequacy. It would be forgivable if this were a clumsy translation from English, where line means both “line” and “straight”. The line may not be straight. But what's done is done.