How to survive being fired. Advice from psychologists on how to survive being fired from your job and regain peace of mind How to survive being fired from your job: advice from a psychologist

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Suddenly leaving the workplace, and even against one's own will, can cause stress for anyone. In fact, you should not treat the situation as a tragedy and the end of life. We have collected the best ways that will tell you how to survive being fired from your job, find peace and harmony with yourself.

For some, leaving work even of their own accord seems like the greatest problem, while others think that they were fired from their job so that they could finally realize their dreams. Avid workaholics should understand that hundreds of vacancies open every day, and they only need one! Days on end in the office, and a lot of instructions from management do not give the opportunity to think about development, so dismissal has its benefits.

Look at the problem from a different angle

Constantly telling yourself that life is over after being fired only brings harm. It is not at all necessary to bring everything to apathy and depression.

It’s hardly worth driving yourself into stress that only a psychologist can get you out of.

Forced idleness can easily be turned to your advantage. There are many ways, the main thing is to choose something you like. You can devote time to your needs or immediately rush to look for a new vacancy.

Time to look for a job

Finding your dream job is quite possible. This will not happen right away, however, with the right approach, you can plan your time so that you can get everything done before starting a new job. Estimate the right time and create a budget for this period. Plan all your activities and don't forget about rest and entertainment.

Vacation heals

When apathy towards everything sets in, tourism or a yoga seminar would be an excellent solution. Contact with nature and spiritual practices will help you find harmony. Running in the morning or other physical activity will help. All it takes is a little desire and a wardrobe update. Just a couple of weeks in this mode, and you won’t want to return to a stuffy office.

Start an active job search

After a good rest, you can start looking for the much-desired job with special zeal. To do this, you need to create a thoughtful resume describing your capabilities and knowledge. You should check the labor market situation daily. If possible, you should definitely call employers and find out the details. You will have to go to interviews for some time, as if you were going to a job, and choose the best among the best.

30-minute daily walk

After quitting your job, you should take care of your health. Not everyone is a fan of running, but hardly anyone will object to a regular half-hour walk in the fresh air in the morning. It will distract you from heavy thoughts and allow you to contemplate nature. In the morning the air is as clean as possible due to the small number of cars. After a new job appears, there is unlikely to be time for such a ritual.

Don't forget about physical activity

Physical activity is good for both the body and the brain. Constantly sitting on the couch and sleeping for a long time contributes to the deterioration of mood and health. You don’t have to go to expensive fitness clubs and gyms; home workouts are enough. Morning exercises will help you cheer up and fill you with energy.

Make time for healthy eating

If fate has given you a break, then you need to use it to maximum advantage. Office work involves irregular meals and a lot of coffee. It's time to correct the situation and learn to cook healthy meals. Simple recipes with familiar ingredients are not only delicious, but also help save both time and money.

You should think about a part-time job

Dismissal can be unexpected and may happen at the wrong time. There is no such thing as too much money, so alternative income is a good idea. This will increase self-confidence and help you relax when you are away from your main job. In any case, you don’t have to worry about not having enough money for the most necessary things.

Don't deny yourself some fun

Psychologists advise communicating more with loved ones and friends, having fun together, visiting or meeting interesting people. It's a good idea to find out what's on in cinemas and theaters. Friends can give good advice that will help you find a new job.

Deal with things

It is difficult to deal with your problems when work worries you almost 24 hours a day. Dismissal provides an opportunity to finish renovations, fix a faucet, or assemble a shelf that was purchased a couple of months (or years) ago. Any household chores will help you take your mind off the fear of being out of work.

Online studies

It’s worth deciding and purchasing a training course in your specialty, self-development or psychology. Knowledge will not be superfluous and will help you stand out from other candidates in pursuit of your dream job. You can master a completely new professional niche if you have been interested in it for a long time.

Think about changing your profession

A temporary break from work is the best time to think about your own interests. After all, it happens that a person has long been tired of working in the office, but is simply afraid to admit it. What else would you like to do? It is useful to ask yourself such questions not only to change professions, but also before training.

Problems are only such if a person has a negative attitude towards the situation. It is worth looking at dismissal in a new way and using the gift of fate to the fullest.

Photo: Wavebreak Media Ltd/Rusmediabank.ru

Of course, being fired is a most unpleasant thing, but the right behavior can help you reach heights that you might not have dared to think about in your old job. Remember - everything can always be turned to your advantage. The vision of a situation can change dramatically depending on the angle from which you look at it.

What to do?

The most important thing is not to succumb to the negative emotions that arise. Of course, you will feel unpleasant, humiliating, insulted and even scared - but don’t let all this consume you, otherwise depression may set in. Negative emotions have such a bad effect on a person that they often become really ill after depression. And there are no hopeless situations, so - forward to new beginnings! Who knows - maybe the old has already outlived its usefulness and it’s time to develop further, achieve more?

Isn't it time to think about it?

Have you ever caught yourself thinking that it would be nice to change your job? If what you were doing wasn't enjoyable, maybe this is your chance to find your purpose?

By the way, are you already tired of working, working and seeing nothing but work? Take a break and think about your life. Remember what you always wanted. Did you go that way? If not, you have the opportunity to fix it! Rest, relieve stress, decide what you would like to do now, and only then start looking for a new job. At the same time, the most important condition is not to feel sorry for yourself, not to cry about what was lost and not to procrastinate. It’s nice to relax, but it’s addictive, so as soon as you’ve regained your strength and morale, start acting.

By the way, shouldn’t you think about opening your own business? Sounds tempting? Or maybe you have already dreamed about this before? Then, after dismissal, you can devote yourself entirely to your own brainchild. After all, what could be better than working for yourself?

Have you learned your lesson?

This is another side of dismissal. Lesson. Yes, yes, you heard right! Of course, it is quite possible that you were fired completely undeservedly, but you will still have to learn something instructive. You made a mistake somewhere. Analyze your work, the claims made against you, your relationships with management and colleagues. Evaluate everything objectively; it’s not for nothing that they say that there is no smoke without fire. If it turns out that the problem is that you did not cope with your responsibilities as you should, think about advanced training or retraining courses, learn a foreign language. In a word, take care of yourself. And new skills will appear and improve, and you will have the opportunity to apply for a higher position.
He who seeks finds!

To find a job you will need:

;
covering letter.

Post your resume online, but don't just be passive and don't wait to be called. Contact the employment service, walk, search, call, visit. Don't be afraid of questions about why you were fired. Prepare a decent and truthful answer. The latter, by the way, is a mandatory condition, because you can be checked by calling your old place of work.

Financial crisis?

What to do if there is no work yet and no money? Reduce expenses by comparing desires and possibilities, discard everything unnecessary. Find part-time work as a freelancer - translator, journalist. Who knows, maybe you will like the free schedule so much that you will realize that you have found yourself. If not, you will work part-time until a permanent job appears.
Or maybe you have an interesting hobby? It can also be turned into a source of income, and even realize yourself in it.

Remember:

Take care of yourself! Don't get addicted to junk food, don't give up sports. should become daily and habitual! Keep yourself in shape for new beginnings!

If you feel sad or other negative emotions, remember all your achievements, those moments when you were happy with yourself.

Do not engage in self-flagellation, this will only lead to low self-esteem and depression. Look at things realistically, just forgive yourself for what you were wrong about, and don’t allow it to happen again.

Tell those around you why you were fired. This is better than having false rumors reach them.

Do not fail to take advantage of someone’s protection, do not refuse help. Don't be shy about talking to people about your job search. The more friends you know are aware of what is happening, the faster you will cope with the situation!

Don't limit your search to just one industry. Don't be afraid to try something new - maybe you will reach greater heights there.

When receiving refusals, do not get upset and do not give up. The reason may not be you, but the fact that at the moment new employees are not required for this company. Never forget to leave your resume - who knows, maybe tomorrow someone will decide to quit and will immediately remember you?

Instructions

Allow yourself to go through all four negative stages of stress. In the denial phase, a person is in shock and is practically unaware of what is happening. During a period of anger, emotions and aggression awaken in him: a person who has lost his job begins to be angry with his employers, and with himself, and with life. The next stage is the bidding stage: “If I can attract a new partner, the boss will call me back.” The last negative stage is depression, which attacks a person when he realizes that his efforts to return to work are in vain.

Negative emotions cannot be pushed inside oneself and tried to be contained. If anger is surging, find a way to let it out. Put on boxing gloves and hit a punching bag, pretending it's your former boss. Pour your heart out to your friends and acquaintances - the more often you tell your story, the less emotions you feel about it. Over time, the circumstances of your dismissal will begin to seem insignificant and your attitude towards this event will change.

Negative stages of stress can last a few weeks, but don't let them drag on for months or years. Use the psychological technique “Alarm Clock”. “Set” your internal alarm clock for a certain period, and after the specified time has passed, pull yourself together and begin to act constructively.

Having thrown out all the negative emotions, you will reach the stage of acceptance. This stage will give you the opportunity to analyze your mistakes that led to your dismissal, and will also give you the strength to move on.

Make a list of the positive aspects of your dismissal. For example, now you don’t have to endure reprimands from your boss, work overtime, or commute to work on the other side of the city. Now it is important for you to learn to see new opportunities and prospects. Make your life motto the expression: “No matter what is done, everything is for the better.”

Analyze the reasons for your dismissal. You should not pay attention to such factors as staff reductions, crisis, stupid boss. Most likely, there was an internal desire to find a new job, admit it to yourself. Think about what kind of job you would like to have. Write down all the skills and knowledge that are required for your desired position. Then identify the items that you are missing and start filling them out.

Start looking for a new job. Use all possible types of search - employment services, acquaintances, advertisements in the media, Internet sites. During employment, maintain the daily routine of a working person - this will help you keep yourself in the right shape and not relax too much. Treat getting fired and looking for a job as a test of strength, and if you successfully pass it, you will achieve success.

How to survive being fired?

“Olga Ivanovna is 36 years old, for the last 2 years she worked as an accountant in a large organization, was a promising employee and dreamed of a promotion. I heard the news of the dismissal from the new director, who took office a month ago.

The boss called her into his office and said that the company no longer needed her services. He indifferently thanked him for his work and offered to leave of his own free will. He said something indistinctly about shortcomings in the work, hinted at his professional incompetence. It was not possible to achieve any specifics, general phrases.

Olga Ivanovna was shocked; she saw no reason for dismissal. Resentment, irritation, anger came up like a lump in my throat. Uncertainty awaited her ahead...”

Almost every person has experienced dismissal in their life. Dramatic changes associated with loss of earnings and painful job searches at an already advanced age only add to the fear of the new reality. How to survive dismissal and maintain faith in yourself? Why does losing a job hurt your pride so much? How to find a decent new job?

Why is dismissal so painful?

Almost always the situation associated with dismissal is perceived painfully. The reason lies in our unconscious. The Leader and the Company are perceived by us as a parental para-symbolic Father and Mother.

Father (leader): trains, guides, develops (sends to negotiations, trainings, seminars); closely monitors achievements (monitors employee performance, reports, plan implementation); shows severity and generosity (punishes with a reprimand, scolds, fines, rewards).

Mother (Company): accepts into its arms (team); feeds, waters (gives wages); develops (provides the opportunity for career growth); entertains (corporate events and holidays).

Losing a job is like breaking ties with symbolic parents. An employee, like a small child, feels that his mom and dad no longer need him, they no longer love him and they drive him away. This makes it painful and offensive. It’s as if the child has become “bad”, and the Mother, no matter what she is, remains the Mother. You can no longer rely on the Father; he is more interested in other children.

Team(children of the Company and the Manager). The Child competed with them for the love of Dad and Mom, fought with them and had fun. And now, after the dismissal, the symbolic family is gone and no one can fill this place in the soul. Aggression, anger, depression - this is what a child feels when he has lost his place among his brothers and sisters.

The feelings are completely understandable

There is no need to perceive this situation as a tragedy and become deeply depressed. Relationships with the symbolic Father and Mother always end when a joint activity, project, or task ends. The basis of relationships is not love, but mutual benefit.

Thanks to being fired, many people finally found themselves, benefited from the current situation and even became famous. Who knows, maybe fate gives you a chance?

5 steps to victory over the situation

You have opened a new chapter in your life biography, you finally have time for yourself, accumulated things to do, forgotten hobbies and unfulfilled desires. It's time to take care of yourself!

Embrace new experiences.

Analyze what really happened, why were you fired? Analyze the possible reasons: being late, a decrease in your efficiency at work, unfairness from your superiors, your own laziness and fatigue, professional and emotional burnout? Or have you “reached the ceiling” in your position and have nothing to strive for?

1.Your strengths.

What strengths do you have? Perhaps you are a wonderful organizer, a responsible executive, an excellent partner or teammate. What problems were you best at solving?

2. Determine the motion vector.

Decide in which area you will continue to move? All roads are open to you. You can improve in an area that is familiar to you or feel free to change your occupation. What do you want from a new job or position? Think about the possibility of starting your own business. Many successful people found themselves in entrepreneurship just after quitting their jobs.

Even after losing a job you love, don’t be discouraged. An important stage in your life has ended, a new one is ahead, approach it responsibly. Don’t blame everyone for your troubles, don’t blame yourself, don’t engage in self-criticism. Draw the right conclusions about what not to do in your new workplace. Thanks to this situation, you have become wiser, your next choice will be conscious and correct.

4.Prepare for a new job.

While searching for a job, improve your professional skills. If internal blocks and fears prevent you from aiming for more, go to a psychologist. Recover emotionally and continue to work on yourself. A hundred percent winning can only happen in one competition, when you compete with yourself yesterday.

5. Work to your liking.

Work should bring joy and pleasure. Do what you enjoy. The result is measured not only by salary, but also by the level of satisfaction from the business you do day after day.

Take action, everything is in your hands!

Dec 13, 2018 billh41235

In terms of intensity of passions, it is second only to divorce or the death of a loved one. Especially when it comes to dismissal.

Experts advise: try to leave with dignity, without offending others or destroying yourself. Your future life depends on how you behave during this difficult time.

Give it your all!

There is a huge temptation to finally tell your boss everything you think about him. Or do something nasty: hide the necessary data, take away the phone numbers of important clients, paralyzing the work of the once dear company for some time.

Do not do that! Firstly, the professional circle is very narrow, and when your new boss calls your ex, he is unlikely to find at least a couple of kind words addressed to you. Secondly, if you want your boss to truly regret your dismissal, you need to act in exactly the opposite way.

Gather your will and on the last day say a warm goodbye to him, saying the kindest words. Maybe he won’t call you back (which, by the way, is possible), but he will certainly give you an excellent reference. It doesn't matter what kind of relationship you had before this minute. As you know, the first and last words are remembered most of all.

Risk group

Losing a job often undermines a person's self-esteem. He develops a feeling of resentment and a feeling of loss of control over life: “Why was I fired?”, “Am I really the worst employee?”, “I don’t decide anything in this life.” If such thoughts come to you, you need to tell yourself: “Stop! Life is not only work. In such a difficult situation, it is much more constructive to ask another question - why did fate give you such a test, what lessons can be learned from this?

Practice shows that most often people who have two opposing psychological attitudes lose their jobs. First of all, these are those who, unnoticed by themselves, began to live by inertia, for whom work has not brought either moral or material satisfaction for a long time. But the poor guy doesn’t have the courage to put the application on the table himself. And every morning he goes to work, as if to hard labor. So fate throws him an unexpected solution to the problem - in the form of staff reductions or rotations leading to dismissal.

Oddly enough, people with a different attitude are also at risk of losing their jobs - workaholics who identify their life with work, putting it in first place in the scale of life values. Fate often punishes such one-sidedness. In addition, an overly zealous employee often irritates his superiors: what if he turns out to be more professional than his management?

Vicious circle

Having lost his job, a person has a huge amount of free time at his disposal. Perhaps at first it’s even pleasing: you’ll finally be able to relax! But, as a rule, it is impossible to truly relax. And the unemployed person begins to experience the emptiness that has suddenly formed in his life. According to the observations of psychologists, such a situation is a breeding ground for the emergence of neurosis.

A kind of vicious circle arises: due to the fact that there is no job, you feel depressed, and this, in turn, makes it impossible to find a job. If this condition lasts long enough, it can lead not only to depression, but also to severe physical illness. Psychiatrists often observe this effect of “psychophysical wear and tear” not only among those who have lost their jobs, but also among those who have retired: an intensively working person suddenly begins to rapidly age, and all sorts of sores begin to stick to him.

To avoid this, experts advise that you should start looking for a new job on the same day you were informed of your dismissal. The more time passes after losing a job, the more difficult it will be to find one. Treat dismissal as a test of strength, as an exam, passing which you will come to success.

The more actions, the greater the impact

And so that during the time “from work to work” you do not destroy yourself, and at the same time your relationships with friends and loved ones, try to develop a clear strategy:

● Keep the same rhythm and routine of life. Get up, have breakfast, lunch and dinner at the same time as before. If you are a man, be sure to shave every morning. If you are a woman, comb your hair and wear light makeup.

● Do something every day to look for a job: surf the Internet, send out resumes, study employment magazines, go on interviews. A pattern has been noticed: if today you called not five, but ten companies, then tomorrow you will receive twice as many calls as in previous days.

● Use your free time to take care of your health. Don't watch TV late, get enough sleep, don't drink coffee or strong tea, and be sure to go outside every day. Visit a dentist, other doctors, undergo treatment if necessary. Do all the boring but necessary household chores that you never got around to doing before.

Don't isolate yourself

Unfortunately, often during a period of forced inactivity, a person’s relationships with loved ones deteriorate. At first they sympathize with him, but as he withdraws and becomes depressed, this begins to irritate those around him.

● Try not to be disconnected from the life of the family: take on some responsibilities that were previously performed by others, share your thoughts, discuss household problems.

● If friends invite you to visit, do not refuse, citing a bad mood. Maybe that's where you'll meet someone who can help you find a job. Despite progress in the field of employment (Internet, recruiting agencies), they prefer to hire us, as before, “by acquaintance.”

● Don’t neglect a temporary job offer while continuing to look for a permanent one. If you prove yourself well, it can become permanent.

● No one is immune from dramatic turns of fate. Even geniuses. The example of one of the players of the Real Madrid football club is widely known. A freak car accident confined him to a wheelchair for a whole year. In the end, he managed to get back on his feet, but had to say goodbye to his brilliant football career. “What to do? After all, I don’t know how to do anything besides football!” – the former football player was tormented. Friends advised him to try himself in... the singing genre. And they were right. This is how the brilliant Julio Iglesias appeared to the world.

● The story of another famous person is no less significant. Before becoming famous in the literary field, he was... an accountant. Everything changed when the unknown Mr. Porter was accused of embezzlement and went to prison. Out of melancholy and hopelessness, he began to write stories. He emerged from prison as a popular novelist, known under the pseudonym O'Henry.

7 Sure Ways to Lose Your Job

1. Have no plans.

2. Fail to maintain and update your skills and abilities.

3. Do not provide any results.

5. Surround yourself with sycophants.

6. Forgetting to give credit to others.

By the way

Stress caused by dismissal is more pronounced in men. Women are more resistant to the blows of fate and react flexibly to stressful situations. People of retirement age, as well as those who cross the “dangerous” age limits, experience the loss of work very painfully: the so-called age of first adulthood (33-35/35-37 years) and mature age – 46-48/52-54.

The level of stress experienced also depends on the psychological type to which a person belongs. Temperamental, sociable people, although they take the news of dismissal hard, overcome the stressful situation relatively quickly. As a rule, two weeks are enough for them to be free from stress. Another thing is that people are phlegmatic and withdrawn. Their stress develops progressively and lasts for a long period.