The penitential canon of Archimandrite Amphilochius. Complete collection of sermons and teachings of schema-abbot Savva Repentance and sighing

You will find about the sacrament of repentance itself, with a detailed listing of sins, in the books “Seeds of the Word for God’s Field” (Part 2) and “Answer to Questions about Monasticism,” so now I will answer briefly about fruits true repentance and how to prepare yourself for confession.

Questions about repentance are not only interesting to you. People often come to me with the same questions. They especially often ask: “Father, what is repentance?”, “Father, what does true repentance mean?”, “How should one repent correctly?” - and similar questions.

With God’s help, I will try to answer all your questions, but you also have questions that your conscience itself will tell you what to do. Conscience is for us what a compass is for a sailor. If the captain loses his compass, he will not know which way to steer the ship, especially in cloudy weather. So with us, Christians, who have lost their conscience and become unscrupulous, no longer knows how to achieve a safe haven of salvation.

The robber kills people, and if no one has discovered his crime, then he walks around happy and cheerful. Rejoices! What is he happy about? You and I know - his death, he does not understand this.

Conscience does not judge only those who have reached the heights of virtue or the heights of vice. There is no need to talk about the former: a judge is needed only for those who break the law, and for those who implement the law, he is not required. Their conscience is crystal clear, and it does not disturb the righteous. The latter have either lost their conscience or are sleeping soundly. For other sinners, a bad conscience bothers them all the time and seems to say: cleanse me with repentance, you did this and that, repent. So we need to listen as carefully as possible to the voice of our conscience. She will teach you everything good and good.

The voice of conscience is the inner, secret voice of God in us, and woe to those who do not listen to its advice and demands, who deliberately drown out its voice so as not to hear its judgment and not feel its torment, who leans more towards the side of sin and vice .

You, D., are doing well in this regard, but there is a gap in another. You ask some questions again. I already answered them, and that means you forgot. Why? Yes, because he is inattentive to the words of his spiritual father. This is a sin - repent.

You have to catch every word of your spiritual father on the fly, and you... Well, okay, I forgive you! Just get better!

INSTEAD OF A FOREWORD

My friend! Many times you confessed and received the Holy Mysteries of Christ. God bless! This is good!

By approaching the sacraments of confession and communion, a person is cleansed, renewed, revived and leaves the church, as if from the baptismal font. In fact, this is true. Through repentance and communion, the grace that we received at baptism returns to us, because it returns lost grace. After repentance and communion, a person feels joy, peace and consolation.

But you’ve probably also experienced something else, when instead of joy and consolation after confession and communion, an incomprehensible feeling of languor suddenly appears in your soul: tightness, dissatisfaction, some kind of general relaxation. This is a sign that one confessed incorrectly and unworthily received the Holy Mysteries of Christ. At confession, it means that you were lethargic and cold, you did not have deep experiences, a thirst for purification, heartfelt contrition for your sins, an ardent desire to unite with the Lord: when the priest listed the sins, you said: “I am a sinner” - mechanically, this is the result.

True, vexation of spirit also happens for another reason, when the Lord is testing, but more often it happens when we repent incorrectly. Some mix self-justification and even condemnation with repentance, leave aside personal repentance for their sins and move on to spiritual conversation or, even worse, touch on everyday issues. This dispels them and weakens the repentant feeling.

Some blame the priest and say: “Father failed to bring him to his senses. The other one is crying, but this one...”

This concept is wrong. It is not the priest’s fault that the confessor has no contrition of heart, no tears of repentance. The reason for this must be sought in oneself. This means that not all is well in his soul.

It is commendable, of course, when a confessor conducts confession with great spiritual uplift, but if the priest is elderly and infirm, is it possible to demand special upliftment from him? And is it really necessary?

Previously, there were no general confessions. The priest did not have to remind the confessors what they might have sinned, because each of them knew their sins well. Christians strictly monitored their actions, deeds, words and even thoughts, so they quickly and confidently listed everything that was on their conscience.

They didn’t have to strain their memory too much: their conscience seemed to tell them all their sins.

Now, during confession, they come up to the priest and don’t know what to say. What's the matter? What is the reason that the conscience of people has become coarsened and dulled, and a person no longer feels its remorse, he has become unscrupulous. He sins and does not notice that he is sinning, and sometimes he belittles the sin, that is, he says: “This is a small sin, God will not punish for it” - and does not repent.

The devil rejoices at such carelessness of people, rejoices that they live inebriated, do not take care of themselves, and lulls them into imaginary righteousness. He instills in them the thought: “What special have I done? Didn't kill, didn't steal. I live like everyone else." It turns out that there is no need for repentance. This is how cunningly the evil spirit approaches...

So, my friend, in order to shame the evil force, so as not to fall under its influence and not perish forever, you also need to learn to repent correctly and not wait for others to make you lament your sins. After all, if contrition for sins is at confession, and moreover, only when the priest is eloquent and has the special power of grace-filled prayer that ignites hearts, then is such contrition reliable and durable? What fruits can such repentance bring?

We listen - we cry, we repent... We left the church and forgot that we lamented our sins, repented and made a promise to God, as if we were taking an oath before the Cross and the Gospel, that we would not return to our previous sins and that with God’s help we would correct ourselves... We forgot about everything , again we begin to idle, condemn, slander, get irritated, angry, quarrel... this is the worst thing. This means that we do not have real, true repentance: there is only one form of repentance, but there is no spirit of repentance. But the Lord does not need form, but essence! The essence of repentance lies not only in mechanically listing the names of sins to the priest, but the main thing is that the heart, from where the thoughts come, does not accept evil words and evil deeds, but only accepts pure and holy thoughts and sensations, and all evil would say: I will not deign. The essence of repentance lies in the correction of a sinful life, in self-improvement.

Such repentance can be fruitful; it always brings good fruits. If a person says in words: I'm sorry, but He himself has done evil and continues to do so, then this cannot be called repentance. This is hypocrisy before God. God forbid!

THREE MOMENTS OF REPENTANCE

The purpose of repentance is correction of sinful life and good deeds. In repentance, as in any other matter, there are certain moments. True repentance is determined by three points:

1. Test of conscience.
2. Contrition of heart.
3. Verbal confession of your sins.

But before I begin to explain these points, I have to warn you that when you want to talk, you may encounter many obstacles, internal and external. Don't pay any attention to them. If you remain steadfast, all obstacles will disappear.

And the second thing that you should pay especially serious attention to is that the intervals between confessions be filled with spiritual struggle, efforts of the will to good.

For example, we are very talkative. We love to joke, laugh, we laugh ourselves and make others laugh, we tell jokes, but all this is a sin. After the first confession, rarely does anyone immediately regenerate and become serious and pious. They usually say: what should you do if you have such a character? These are the ones who need to painstakingly work on themselves, they need to force themselves to remain silent.

PREPARATION FOR CONFESSION

When you begin to prepare for confession, then first of all examine your conscience, look into your heart. Look to what extent it is contaminated with sins. With God's help, remember all the sins that you committed after your last confession, and whoever is preparing to take monastic vows remembers his sins from the age of seven.

Check yourself: is there a lack of faith, hope, love in you; is there any self-confidence, callousness, irritability, gluttony, cowardice, murmuring, despondency and other sins.

If you spend this moment of repentance with due attention, then you will inevitably experience contrition of heart, and if there is no contrition, then this speaks of petrified insensibility, of deathly coldness, which means that the soul is in danger.

In this case, one must read and remember the lives of the saints and their teachings. They considered themselves to be the first sinners and with sincere conviction they cried out to the Lord: “No one has sinned on earth from time immemorial, as I (I), the accursed and prodigal, have sinned.” If you look up to them and take their example, then contrition will certainly appear and you will weep for yourself.

Sincere repentance is the initial degree of holiness, and composure and indifference are moving away from holiness, dying outside of God. When grace touches the heart and illuminates it, then the disorder in the soul appears with all clarity and then we sincerely recognize our sins, ulcers and spiritual wounds. And those people who are not drawn to grace, they are immersed in the darkness of sin and do not see anything in their hearts, and if they see something, they are not horrified, because they compare themselves not with saints, but with others like themselves.

Check yourself also according to God’s commandments: are you violating any of them, as well as according to some prayers (for example, the 3rd Vespers and the 4th Communion).

BASIC SINS AND DERIVATIVES

It’s good if you can distinguish between basic sins and derivative ones. If you don't know how, learn. This is very important. We must know what we most need to lament and what we need to improve on. For example, if we are absent-minded in prayer, if in church we feel drowsy and are inattentive, if we are not even interested in reading the Holy Scriptures, then this comes either from lack of faith and weak love for God, or from laziness and carelessness.

If in Church during worship we walk, talk, push; if we approach the anointing of oil, the cross and the shroud without reverence, without holding back those standing behind us, and press on those who stand in front of us; If we don’t stand in line for Epiphany water and for the water of minor consecration at prayer services, but walk straight ahead, almost over our heads, then this means that we have no fear of God and no love for our neighbors. If we take great care of our appearance and the decor of our home, then this means we are vain.

If we take everyday failures too close to our hearts, have a hard time withstanding separation, grieve inconsolably for the departed, then this indicates that we do not believe in God’s Providence, and so on. Self-justification, impatience of reproaches, vanity, stubbornness, but it is even more important to see their connection with pride, selfishness, arrogance and pride; it is to these basic sins that one must turn all one’s lamentation.

There is a good way that leads us to the knowledge of our sins - this is to remember what people accuse us of, especially those living nearby and loved ones. Their accusations, reproaches, and attacks are almost always justified. When testing yourself, you must be careful not to fall into excessive suspiciousness of any movement of the heart. If we take this path, we may lose our sense of distinguishing between what is important and what is unimportant. In this case, you need to stop testing yourself and, through prayer and good deeds, beg and clarify your soul.

Preparation for confession consists not only in remembering as fully as possible or even writing down your sins, but first of all in sincerely realizing your guilt, in order to bring your repentant feeling to heartfelt contrition and, if possible, shedding tears of repentance.

BREAKING THE HEART

Knowing your sins does not mean repenting of them. Grief over evil deeds done, crying about sins- this is what is most important in matters of repentance. Well, what if there are no tears? What to do then?

Don't despair! And in this case, we still need to repent, repent, repent, no matter how cold and insensitive we are, hoping only for the mercy of God. Coldness and insensibility usually occur when there is no fear of God in the heart, from lack of faith or from hidden unbelief.

Sometimes a person conceals in confession that he doesn't believe into the afterlife or doubts its existence, and for this the Lord punishes with coldness. The Lord seems to say to a person in his soul: “You are not a Christian, you are a pagan. Realize that you have no faith, repent, and then I will console you, forgive your sins and send you joy.”

In fact, What kind of Christians are we if we do not believe in the immortality of the soul? If we do not believe that we will praise the Lord forever, when will he honor us with such mercy? After all the whole meaning of faith is lost in God! And how many such pagan Christians are there? Oh-oh-oh! Check yourself, D.! Aren't you a pagan?

CRY

Crying over sins is of great importance in repentance. I will dwell on this in a little more detail, because you have the wrong concept about crying. Know that crying does not come from tears, but tears from crying. Some have no tears, they restrain themselves in the presence of others, but their hearts cry tears of blood, sincerely lamenting their sins. It is when a person does not pay attention to the sins of others and only analyzes his own sins and laments over them, then he begins to cry.

Crying is the name given to the abundant intensification of repentant feelings. A person acutely admits his spiritual weakness. He sees his weakness, his helplessness; realizes that on his own he will never be able to free himself from sinful ulcers, from spiritual defilements without the help of the Lord, and with the deepest humility he falls at the foot of the Cross, begging the crucified Lord to forgive him the sins with which he again nails Him to the Cross.

Again and again I always insult
You, my Savior, I crucify you
I am with my sins every day;
And You, merciful, and You, dying,
You still love me and, quietly bowing
Head on the Cross, You forgive me,
And you only expect repentance
And you still call me to heaven to Yourself...

The humble sinner begins to feel the presence of God. Sometimes it happens that every cell in the body feels His presence, His closeness. The fear of God appears, at times so strong that it seems that the hair on the head rises and a sacred trembling, like a chill, runs through the body. A person has a remembrance of death, a fear of condemnation at the Last Judgment for sins, and then tears flow from his eyes in an uncontrollable stream. And when in his heart a person feels forgiveness of sins, feels lightness, silence, joy, then from an excess of happiness and grateful feelings, like a comforted child on the chest of a tender father or mother, he constantly repeats the words: “My Jesus! My joy! My happiness! My love! Don't move away from me! At this moment, a person desires to be separated from the body, so as never again to be separated from Christ.

This is what true repentance means. After great sorrow, the sinner receives great, great joy, and consolation is the unity of the soul with the Lord. This is the highest fruit of true humility and repentance.

There are many pious ones
Smart and scientists;
there are many truthful people,
Chaste, ready
Help everyone, forgive sometimes,
But few can be found
With a humble soul -
Self-awareness is the worst of all!
See all the sins in yourself -
This is a feat!
It's the same as hating yourself
It means to give up
From the idol of self-conceit!
It means to agree
Accept all insults!
Pride is the most terrible sin of all,
But beautiful humility
Christ Himself became incarnate!

Help us, Lord, to imitate true humility!

DETERMINATION NOT TO SIN

A sure sign of completed sincere repentance, by which a sinner can learn that his sins are truly forgiven by God, is a feeling of hatred and disgust from all sins to the point that he agrees to die rather than arbitrarily sin before God; In addition, he develops a feeling of forgiveness, a feeling of lightness, purity, inexplicable joy, deep peace, a desire to do everything only for the glory of God, to hate and eliminate the proud desire to attribute glory to himself. And vice versa, unworthy repentance, after which sins remain, causes a feeling of dissatisfaction, falls heavily on the heart, with some kind of heavy, vague, unclear feeling of bitterness.

Remember, D., repentance will not be complete and useful if you internal there won't be no firm determination return to confessed sin. If you say with humility, no matter what your sin (fall), “Forgive me!” - you will be forgiven, but if you say so, and then return to sin and do not fight it, this means your repentance is false; it means to repent and remain in sin. Deliver, Lord!

We must realize our sin and hate it, we must make as much effort as possible so as not to return to previous iniquities.

Forgiveness of sins is freedom from passions, and whoever has not been freed from them by grace has not yet received forgiveness. And in order to receive forgiveness from God, you must make a change in your entire life and, leaving behind vice, constantly remain in virtue.

Repentance is valued not by the amount of time, but by the disposition of the soul. He who hates sin turns away from it and quickly conquers his passions, but it often happens that the confessor does not notice spiritual growth in himself and is embarrassed by this, like you, for example. It seems to him that he is standing still or even worse than he was: “one step forward and two steps back.” Don’t be embarrassed, my friend, it just seems so; in fact, there is no case when each confession does not produce good changes in the soul, when a person is drawn to grace and has a good desire to correct himself, to suppress sin in himself.

A person cannot correctly judge himself: whether he has become better or worse. The Lord reveals the truth only to the spiritual father; only he alone knows the state of the souls of his children. Usually, increased severity towards oneself and a heightened fear of sin create the impression that sins have multiplied and intensified and that the state of mind has not improved, but worsened. In addition, the Lord often hides our successes from us so that we do not fall into pharisaism, vanity and pride.

It also happens that although sin remains, frequent confessions and communion of the Holy Mysteries have shaken it and significantly weakened its roots, moreover, the very struggle with sin and suffering from the consciousness of one’s sinfulness brings great benefit to the soul. So do not be afraid, my friend, even if you fall every day... Rise quickly, repent and stand courageously in the feat, and the Lord will reward you for your patience.

Repentance is not only confession in church, it is a person’s whole life in repentance, in a repentant feeling. Until death, we must preserve this feeling, we must constantly remain in hell with our minds, that is, we must sincerely consider ourselves worthy of hell, but not despair, but trust in God’s mercy. If a person loses this sense of his worthlessness, he will lose grace.

Sin puts such a stain on us that cannot be removed by anything other than sincere repentance and bitter tears about it. He who does not cry for his sins will cry from the punishments for sin both in this and in the future life, therefore it is better to mourn his sins here voluntarily and suffer for them than to cry there forever from torment.

Every sin is committed for pleasure and enters through pleasure, therefore forgiveness of sins is given through suffering and sadness, and sin is driven out by bitterness and tears.

TEARS

Tears are a sure sign that through repentance a person is born into a new life, a spiritual one. But these tears are not the kind that you have to squeeze out of yourself, that appear under duress, but the kind that are difficult to stop and hide from prying eyes. If a person has not achieved such tears, it means that he is doing God’s work only with the outer man, and his inner man is still sterile, because his fruit begins with tears. Those who are reborn for spiritual life cry continuously day and night for up to two or more years. This is when grace touches the heart and a person reaches out to grace. She, like a tender, caring mother, will sometimes reveal herself to a person, then hide for a while in order to teach him all spiritual wisdom and make him experienced and strong in spiritual life, for an inexperienced husband is not skilled.

With such abundant tears a person washes and cleanses the soul more and then comes to a peaceful, blissful state. The Holy Spirit inhabits a person and guides all his actions.

Every person who is with God also has tears: sometimes when he is in mental contemplation, sometimes when he reads the Holy Scriptures, sometimes during prayer, but these tears are moderate, joyful, sweet. In this case, we can say that the person is crying from an excess of happiness.

This is the kind of repentance we should strive for. Tears are especially useful in confession. They soften petrification and eliminate the main obstacle to repentance - our selfhood. Proud and self-loving people, as a rule, do not cry about their sins, but cry out of resentment, but such tears are sinful. Those who blame others and justify themselves do not cry.

Tears are only given humble sinners. Don't be ashamed of crying in confession. Let your soul be more completely cleansed from the defilements of sin, just do not forget that sadness about your sins is useful and saving in the case when it does not go beyond the limits of what is permissible, and if it becomes immoderate, as they say, goes beyond boundaries, then this sadness turns into disastrous feeling - despair. Deliver us, Lord, from this!

It is useful to have constant contrition for sins, but we must not forget about God’s mercy. The Lord forgives every sinner who repents and moves from the path of wickedness to the path of piety.

If, due to spiritual weakness, you cannot immediately be reborn and you sin again, then do not despair, but again and again resort to the sacrament of repentance.

Whatever fall happens, get up (repent) immediately. Shake off sin like dust, like dirt, and continue on your normal path with redoubled energy. Practice kindness non-judgment and other Christian virtues.

Schemamonk Nikodim of Athos writes: “So that we are angry with demons, and not with people, we must answer the demons this way: although I am a great sinner, I do not want to despair of salvation, for I hope in God’s mercy! I have sinned to my God alone, and to Him I repent. He alone is my Judge, and not you damned demons. What do you care about me? You yourself are apostates from God and rejected from Him, you have no right to torture me, you yourself are condemned to eternal destruction; I don’t want to know you damn people. God is my strength, God is my Savior, all my hope is in His mercy, and everything depends on His mercy. I will not be afraid of your fear, if even a thousand times more than this you had found me to have sins, then even then I would not have accepted the despair you inspired in me, I hope for the ineffable mercy of God, for the prayers of the Mother of God, the holy Angels and saints of God, whom I call for help. Amen".

CONFESSION

One of the main acts of repentance is confession. After the sinner comes to his senses, like the Gospel Prodigal Son, tests his word and conscience, recognizes his sins, turns to God with a contrite and humble heart, reproaches, condemns and mourns himself before Him, he must sincerely confess his sins to the priest, discover your sinful state.

When starting confession, three conditions must be met:

You must make peace with everyone who is a burden to you and to whom you are a burden. If you haven’t had time to personally reconcile, then mentally forgive them from the bottom of your heart, justify them, and blame yourself. When meeting them, ask for forgiveness and behave in accordance with your repentant feelings.

We must have contrition of heart and humility. The repentant must outwardly show his humility and kneel down.

Pray without distraction.

So, first of all, you must make peace with everyone who is a burden to you and to whom you are a burden. Perhaps you will say: “Why go and make peace, I’m not angry with anyone. Let anyone who is angry with me ask for forgiveness.” Why are they angry with you? It means you upset them in some way. Check your conscience! And if your conscience turns out to be truly clear, if you have not offended anyone in any way, then for the sake of love for your neighbor, you still come up and ask for forgiveness from everyone who is angry with you out of envy, jealousy or for another reason. After all, they are in great danger. The Gospel says: “Everyone who is angry with his brother in vain is subject to judgment, the condemnation of God.” (Matt. 5:22). And if you do not make an effort to make them reconcile with you, then you yourself will find yourself violating God’s commandment about love. How will you approach the Cup of Life?

Some say: it’s shameful and humiliating to ask for forgiveness. It’s a shame to pick into someone else’s pocket, but doing a good deed is never a shame. By this a person shows his humility, and humility and love are the highest virtues. If someone is ashamed, it means that the passion of pride has not been overcome, then it is necessary to get rid of it, one must force oneself to ask for forgiveness by willpower. Sometimes they ask the question: “Father, what to do when they don’t want to make peace?”

They don’t want to put up with only those who ask for forgiveness and at the same time justify themselves.

Human souls understand each other, as they say, at a glance, the heart gives the message to the heart, so if we sincerely forgive, are not offended and blame only ourselves for everything, and justify others, then even the most irreconcilable enemies will certainly reconcile with us.

Well, if even under such conditions they do not want to reconcile, then “do good to those who hate.” (Matt. 5:44). If we do good to those who offend us, then this mercy, more than all other virtues, will protect us at the ordeal and the Last Judgment.

Let us not, my friend, humiliate anyone, let us not rise above anyone, let us remember that we are the worst of all and therefore, to every reproachful word we will sincerely say: I'm sorry. This word drives away confusion from the soul, suppresses anger, destroys disagreement, drives out the world, so that evil power has no opportunity to harm the one who says from the heart: “It’s my fault, forgive me.”

At confession, you don’t have to wait for questions from your confessor, but you have to confess your sins yourself, without being ashamed, without hiding or belittling their importance. If the confession is general, then we must bring all the sins that the priest lists to consciousness and feeling and admit ourselves guilty of everything, for if we did not commit any sins in deed, we could have committed them in word or thought. The word “sinner” must be pronounced with a feeling of deep repentance, and not mechanically.

Confession is a feat of self-compulsion. Many cannot avoid the temptation of self-justification and during confession they often tell their confessor that, they say, I sinned, but he forced me to sin... Especially when they repent of quarrels, anger, irritability, they will definitely condemn others. They will blame them and protect themselves. Such repentance is counterfeit, false, crafty, hypocritical, and contrary to God. This is a sign of pride and lack of personal deep repentance.

Sometimes they say:

- “Father, I have a weak memory, I cannot remember the sin.”

Look, a young healthy man complains of bad memory.

“No,” I say, “it’s not a matter of memory.”

- “It’s true, father, I don’t remember anything.” - “I believe, I believe! But this is not because your memory is bad, but because you live inattentively and absent-mindedly and do not attach serious importance to sins. You do not stop your attention on sins of serious significance. You don’t stop your attention on your sins, you don’t record them in your memory, and that’s why you forget.”

So you, D., need to pay serious attention to this, you also have a gap in this.

We do not forget to sit down to a meal, because we want to eat... Now, if we hungered and thirsted for heavenly food with the same intensity, then we would not forget our sins either. They don’t sit at the table with a bag on their shoulders, wearing a sheepskin coat and mittens. First they dump the load and get rid of it, because it will interfere with the meal. Likewise, we will not be able to enjoy the Heavenly Meal if we do not throw off the burden of sin through repentance. Every day the soul is burdened with a burden of sin, and every day it is necessary to throw it off through repentance.

Confess to God before your cross. For those who, due to their living conditions, cannot often confess and receive communion, this is extremely necessary. The Lord accepts such repentance. So you will get used to and remember your sins and will remain in constant saving repentance. An example is the Venerable Mary of Egypt.

Habit (skill) is the second nature of a person. It, as they say, enters his flesh and blood and becomes inseparable from a person; he develops a so-called reflex. A person does many actions out of habit, without thinking: he blinks, makes rhythmic movements with his hands when walking, etc.

The habit of blinking keeps the cornea of the eyes from drying out, the habit of waving your arms when walking helps a person maintain balance; so in spiritual life, for example, with Rev. Macarius of Egypt developed the pious habit of making the sign of the cross before starting every task, that is, not starting anything without a blessing. One day the demon thought to tempt him. “I’ll climb into the washstand,” he thinks, “and I’ll bring oblivion on him, he’ll forget to cross the washstand, and then I’ll... oh, and I’ll make fun of him!” So he did. Rev. Macarius approaches the washstand, out of habit, crosses him and seals the demon in the washstand with the sign of the cross. The demon was burned by the sign of the cross, and he began to beg the reverend. Macarius to release him.

You see, D., how dear a pious habit is to us, but generally speaking, we must set ourselves up in such a way that we agree that it is better not to sin than to confess our sins after sinning.

No matter how complete and sincere the confession, traces of sinful stains will still be visible on the clothes of the soul. They will be completely erased only when with joy Let us accept penance (punishment) from God for our sins. But which of us rejoices in sorrows and illnesses? Units! So, from day to day, from year to year, sins are layered in the soul, and such a burden makes it difficult not only for the person himself, but also for the spiritual father. Demons usually inspire us either not to confess our sins to our spiritual father at all, or to confess as if on behalf of another, or to lay the blame of our sin on others. I, they say, swore and said a lot of unnecessary things because M. and P. drove me crazy and pushed me into it.

Confession with self-justification is an abomination before God! Where is the contrition for sins; where is self-destruction? Instead of them - condemnation! They added a new sin to the old sins... They mixed the porridge with broken glass (the sacrament of cleansing with the sin of condemnation) and instead of healing, they received new ulcers and mental illnesses: darkening of conscience, shame and reproach, heaviness in the soul.

No! This is not a confession. This is a perversion of the Holy Sacrament. In any case, it is not useful to justify yourself: if your conscience is clear, then there is no need to worry about it; sooner or later the Lord will bring the truth out and justify you, and if your conscience denounces you, then it is all the more impossible to justify yourself, because a new sin is added to that sin - lying. If your conscience or spiritual father denounces you, then you need to listen and correct yourself. You need to show interest in the matter of salvation, then you will remember your sins without additional techniques. Whatever a person is interested in, he does not forget about it.

If you are traveling on a train and looking out the window with interest, you will not miss anything unnoticed. Every little detail, every touch will remain in your memory, and you will be able to tell everything in detail to others. And if you look out the window with indifferent eyes that see nothing, if you are absorbed in your thoughts, then your story about the trip will be dry, brief, in general terms, without details. Otherwise you’ll be forced to say: “I don’t remember anything!” I forgot everything!” This is what happens in confession.

TWO CONFESSORS

One confessor stands in confession, and his whole life passes before his mental gaze. He remembers and repents: today he slept an extra half hour and did not have time to read the morning prayers, he even forgot to kiss the cross... I repent, Lord, have mercy and forgive me! Yesterday on the road, in a hurry, I almost knocked over a stroller with a baby and pushed an old woman hard - I repent. God! During the day I offended and upset such and such with words and deeds, willfully and involuntarily, knowledge and ignorance - I repent, Lord! I punished Vanyutka unfairly, but Olya did something wrong and deserved punishment, but I didn’t even make a remark - I repent. Lord, have mercy and forgive, etc. And the more he goes deeper into his life, the more complete his self-knowledge, the more he is contrite in heart. It seems to him that he is worse than a robber, worse than a harlot. “The robber,” he thinks, “paid for his sin with blood, but I live in complete prosperity, and my deeds are no better than his deeds. Now I cut one with a word worse than a dagger, then I prick another like a sword. The robber only destroyed people’s bodies, but saved their souls: they died like martyrs, and I... poor people! How much grief I bring them! Either they suffer from me, or from the fifth or tenth, as unreasonable as me... And you don’t want to do anything bad, but it happens on its own when you forget your prayer and have fun. For example, yesterday’s incident... I bought flowers for my wife, I was going to congratulate her on Angel’s Day, to console her. Suddenly Tanyusha comes towards me with an unfamiliar young man. I shuffled in front of her like a boy, said a lot of pleasantries to her and put a bouquet in her hand... Poor thing, how embarrassed she was... Well, okay, I can justify to myself that she has done a lot of good to our family and deserves even more attention, and to my wife I I bought another bouquet. But that's not the point! Why didn’t I show sensitivity, caution, vigilance?... She came, poor thing, all in tears. He says the groom made a scene. He asked: who is this? What is this? I didn't know what to say...

And I’m always like this, that if I take a step without prayer, it’s a temptation for people, no matter what word I say, it results in embarrassment... Woe is me! Oh Lord! All hope is for you! Help me to always keep prayer in my mind. Make her unentertainable, so that the devil does not make me his toy and does not build his intrigues for people through me, the accursed one.

The Lord did not condemn the harlot, but others all condemned her and wanted to stone her. What a shame she suffered! What a shame, what a humiliation! And me?... Oh-oh! Most unfortunate creature! They consider me a pious person, they set me up as an example to follow, but I, worse than senseless cattle, am overcome by lust. Where is my abstinence? Where is the observance of the law, statutory days? Everything is trampled underfoot by the sin of voluptuousness. Poor wife! With my ignorance I am dragging you into hell... Pray for me, dear, I am weak... Oh, Lord, save us - weigh us with our destinies!

Heavy, muffled sighs escape from his chest... Complete mistakes, complete sins... Have mercy, merciful Creator, and help me correct myself, for without You I am unable to even think good.

He stands there and is sincerely heartbroken. He doesn’t notice how they press him, push him, step on his feet... He completely withdrew into himself, inside his bodily shell, as they say, crawled under his skin to internally work on his soul, on his heart, in order to cleanse them as completely as possible. From the depths of his heart he cries out: “Savior! I come to You not because I can bring You firm, unshakable faith, a heart full of hope and submission. No! I come because I have nothing, that I have become poor and would like to put on again bright clothes, clothes of purity. I endure cold and thirst, and You alone can satisfy me with the bread of life and give me to drink from the source of living water. Lord, don't move away from me. My strength! Hurry to my aid!”

He stands like a candle before God, repents, laments, prays earnestly, regretting that the service passed quickly. He would like to extend the service. I don’t want to part with the temple. It’s so good, easy, joyful here! Here he feels the closeness of God, the Mother of God and the saints, who look at him with living eyes from the icons with a gentle and encouraging look.

Such repentance is always fruitful. It brings many, many good fruits and improvement of life. A person, from strength to strength, ascends the ladder of virtues, and such laymen achieve purity and holiness of life, like the Venerable Jonah and Vassa of Pskov-Pechersk and others like them.

And the other confessor stands in confession and is tormented in soul and body. He doesn’t know what internal work on himself is. Why doesn't he know? Yes, because he doesn’t want to know! Why, they say, burden yourself with unnecessary worries? It’s more fun to live when you don’t think about sins (this is his reasoning). And so all his concern in confession is manifested in pushing everyone away from himself and standing spaciously, enjoying empty, sinful thoughts, dreams, or in his thoughts he is burdened with everyday affairs, but not with prayer. Worship is a burden to him. He came to church to confess and partake of the Holy Mysteries of Christ, outwardly fulfilling the duty of an Orthodox Christian, but not according to the inner desire of his heart. It’s unusual and difficult for him to stand in church, and so he grumbles: “Why is the priest hesitating, not starting confession? Why were you the first to get up? The last one has arrived! Baby, why are you standing here? You have no sins!”

What will this poor man get from confession? If he never comes to a contrition of heart about his sins, then he will only perform the ritual, but will still be far from repentance and he will leave the temple with the same heavy, vague feeling with which he came to the temple: not renewed, not healed .

I say sincerely, D., I feel sorry for such people, just as I feel sorry for the completely blind. But bodily blindness is temporary, just as our life on earth is temporary, therefore it is not as terrible and dangerous as spiritual blindness, which destroys the soul forever.

INNER LIFE

Inner life is the foundation of the Orthodox faith and an integral part of an Orthodox Christian. If we do not watch over ourselves, over our hearts, over our minds and thoughts, then we will not be saved. We must ensure that all the inclinations of our hearts are directed towards glorifying the Lord and that our thoughts are directed only to Him alone.

Through self-knowledge and self-vigilance we receive grace and strength to acquire immortal life.

Sometimes you look at a person - in appearance he is no different from others, but in his inner life he is high before God and often does great deeds of virtue.

Without inner life, without self-vigilance, a person easily falls into errors and lawlessness, therefore we must try to ensure that our external, external behavior is controlled by our internal, heartfelt disposition. If a person’s external life prevails over his internal life, if he is occupied only with earthly objects and does not care about spiritual objects, that is, about his salvation, then sooner or later he will feel dissatisfaction with life, emptiness, darkness, and this will inevitably lead him to despondency and even despair.

Yes, it is scary to live without God, in other words, without inner life such a person will never enjoy peace and spiritual joy, the joy of God in this earthly life, and even more so in the life of the next century.

Try, my friend, to give primary importance to inner life. Do not think that it is possible only for individuals. It is acceptable for all people of any rank, of any condition, living in any time, employed in any position, in any job, even the most difficult. There is no reason why a person could not go inside himself and observe every movement of his heart, every thought. The only one who cannot who doesn't want engage in the exercises of inner life, who wants to be more concerned with himself than with the Lord. But in a soul occupied only with itself, only with external life, grace cannot abide.

Ask, my friend, from our Lord Jesus Christ that pure the light of self-knowledge, who would teach you inner life, would teach you to always be inseparably with the Lord. When you taste the sweetness of the inner life, then no one and nothing can hinder you in pious exercises. Whoever engages in self-contemplation, the Lord grants him such an ability that he can simultaneously perform prayer and perform the most complex and labor-intensive work. For example, an artist, musician, sculptor and even a writer can simultaneously pray internally, engage in their work, and even participate in conversation.

For many this seems incomprehensible, impossible, but in reality it is so. These people constantly taste the sweetness of conversation with the Lord; they are saturated and oversaturated with spiritual joy. So you too strive for this.

IMITATION OF JESUS CHRIST

In all cases of life, try to imitate the Lord Jesus Christ. Go within yourself and conform to the Divine example, act as Christ would act in this case. Honor Him in all your words and actions. And in order to know the words and actions of Jesus Christ, diligently study the Holy Scriptures and go to church more often. There is not a single action of His life that does not provide us with an example to follow.

Jesus Christ is a perfect example, and people will never be able to achieve such perfection, but our task is to imitate Him to the best of our ability and ability and to be His true followers. Without the grace of God, we cannot do this on our own, so earnestly ask the Lord for the grace of the Holy Spirit.

I advise you, my child, to do everything carefully, without haste, because haste greatly harms your inner spirit. Do not strive to distinguish yourself by spiritual and moral deeds in order to be known and admired for your deeds, in other words, for the sake of glorifying your name.

COMMUNION OF THE HOLY MYSTERIES

In the sacrament of communion we eat, under the guise of bread (prosphora) and wine, the true Body and Blood of Christ and through this we unite with Him. One must prepare for the sacrament of communion through prayer, fasting and repentance. This sacrament is performed in the church during the Liturgy. Patients can also receive communion at home. The priest brings the Holy Gifts in a monstrance. During communion of the Holy Mysteries, one must nurture pious feelings: reverence and fear of God. But sometimes we are cold and absent-minded, and this makes many people sad. There is no need to be discouraged. We must humble ourselves and admit that we deserve such a state. Tell yourself: “It’s a hat for Senka!” Because of my sins, the Lord does not give me joy; glory to the Lord for everything!” Bear it patiently and do not despair, but try to improve.

The Lord tests some pious and zealous people in their spiritual life: they do not give them joy - and thank God for this. The Lord knows better than us what is more useful to us: He sends sweets and consolations to some for reinforcement and encouragement, to others He does not do this, because in any state they must love Him with the same strength, and checks: are they like that? Still others are deprived of consolation for their sins. In any case, you cannot be discouraged.

Do not consider yourself an outcast from the Lord, even if you do not feel disposed to serve Him, but always try to please Him with equal strength. Don’t be more concerned with yourself than with the affairs of God, surrender to Him, and in this you will find joy and bliss.

When a person is careless about the work of his salvation, leaving a place for himself, then from communion of the Holy Mysteries he receives more weakness than healing. If after communion you remain vigilant over yourself, over your inclinations and use them to please God, then you will preserve yourself in piety and the joyful feeling that you received while communing.

To serve the Lord you need to have a pure, perfect and submissive heart to all His manifestations, so do not be surprised when He tests, instructs, teaches you to be more perfect.

Some are disdainful of taking communion after the sick and elderly, they are afraid of getting sick. Look, D., beware of this feeling of disgust: it is a very great sin. Priests in parishes where there is no deacon, and deacons in other parishes and monasteries, use the remaining Holy Gifts and live in good health until old age. Disgust shows that a person has weak faith. We must pray to God so that the Lord will increase and strengthen our faith.

It can be hard to watch how some frail old women and mentally ill people make an effort to be the first to approach the Cup of Life, just like children. They push each other and without reverence, without fear of God, they receive communion...

Mentally ill people are often a temptation to others. They inspire fear in some, and there are cases when a person was preparing for communion, but because of them he did not approach the Chalice. This also applies to other patients, especially the elderly. A prudent and pious elder and elder, if he feels bad, then sits somewhere on the side and calmly, reverently prays, and approaches the Chalice last, when there is free passage in the church. This is piety, and oneself receives great benefits for soul and body, and does not embarrass others. So do this, my child, this will acquire humility, fear of God and piety.

FRUITS OF REPENTANCE

One day a spiritual child comes to me and says:

- “Father, is it possible to ask God for death?”

- “What is it?” - I ask.

- “I’m scared to live... I’ll have to answer for everything: for every step, for every look, for every word. It’s better to die now, otherwise many sins will accumulate in old age.”

- “Don’t put them in your suitcase. A step, a glance, an idle word - these are not mortal sins. They are terrible only for those who do not pay attention to them, who do not recognize them for their sins, do not repent and do not correct themselves, so immediately ask God for forgiveness in front of your cross, as the Rev. did. Mary of Egypt, and then you repent to your spiritual father and force yourself to correct yourself, then not a trace will remain of these sins. For you now it is more terrible to die than to live, because you have come to repentance, but you still do not have the fruits of repentance. And so that it is not scary to die, you need to stock up on the fruits of repentance.

Dying is easy. The faint-hearted even commit suicide. These are those who do not want to fight difficulties, but they are worthy of pity and even contempt. The Holy Church does not pray for such people. Who gave us the right to control our destiny? We were not born of our own will, and we must die not of our own will! To ask God for death is insolence! This is clear evidence that we do not want to live according to the will of God. It's clear?"

- “It’s clear, father, what are fruits worthy of repentance.”

- “The fruits worthy of repentance are Christian virtues and good deeds. The Gospel writes a lot about the fruits of repentance. For example, the apostle and evangelist Luke writes: “Produce fruits worthy of repentance” (Luke 3:8), and then explains: “Whoever has two coats, give to the poor, and whoever has food, do the same” ( Luke 3:11).

And here are more spiritual fruits: “As God’s elect, let us clothe ourselves with mercy, longsuffering, kindness, humility, meekness and love” (Col. 3:12-14). The main fruit of repentance is love (John 15:2-16).

The Apostle Paul says: “If I give away all my substance and give my body to be burned, but do not have love, it profits me nothing.” (1 Cor. 12:3-8).

“Do this (i.e., produce fruits worthy of repentance), knowing the time that The hour has come for us to wake up from sleep.”(Rom. 13, I).

The fruits of repentance come from true repentance. And true repentance means sincere, unfeigned contrition for sins. The Holy Scriptures provide specific examples of true repentance that brings worthy fruits. For example, Zacchaeus, the unrighteous tax collector, what fruit of repentance did he bear? He gave away half of his estate and abundantly rewarded everyone from whom he took extra.

Rev. Mary of Egypt led a vicious life in her youth. What fruit of repentance did she bear? She went into the desert and began to live chastely.

This is what we should do. For example, pride and vanity take over us. We pray to God to send us humility. How can we practically remake our sinful nature? It is necessary to melt us in the fire of slander, lies, ridicule, all kinds of humiliation and insults from all people and even from our closest relatives - so the Lord sends us what we ask for, because when we ask God for humility, it means we ask to send us people who who would humble us. And if we complacently, without grumbling, without bitterness and irritation, accept and joyfully thank God for all this, pray for the offenders and do not change our good disposition towards them, then this means we bear the fruits of true repentance.

GOOD INTENTION

In order for repentance to be not formal, not external, not fruitless, one must pray for enemies, and always do only good to everyone, even if to the detriment of oneself; give alms whenever possible. It is good to give alms from excess, but from poverty it is even better and higher to give.

The Lord looks not so much at people's deeds as at their intentions. There is such a story. When Jesus Christ was a boy, he made birds and began to color them. One bird thinks:

Oh, yellow... I don’t want yellow, I want red! Do you see? This is self-will! But the Lord did not give her anything for her self-will, no colors, so she remained gray. And for several generations these birds were gray. And when the Lord Jesus Christ was crucified, the same bird sat on the Cross and thought: my ancestors were self-willed, and I am self-willed, and we all upset the Lord, and now he is suffering. I will help Him! I will pull out the nails, and He will forgive us. And so she began to peck at the nails... bale-buck, bale-buck, bale-buck, peck... Well, where is it! Could she have pulled out the nail? This bird is very small, smaller than a sparrow. Well, she pecked like she pecked at a nail, then she remembered about her children, that they were hungry, they wanted to eat, and quickly flew to them. She flew in, and they all shouted in one voice: “Mommy, mommy, how beautiful you are!” “What's the matter? - asks.” - “Your breast is red.” - "A! This is the blood of the Lord." - “And we want to be the same!”

She kissed the breast of each chick, and so all generations became red-breasted. Since then, this bird has been called a robin.

You see, the Lord accepts good intentions and forgives sins for them. Self-will - wow, what a great sin! For monks this is the most serious sin. This means there is no obedience, the monastic vow is broken, and the worldly must obey the Lord, and even birds and animals obey God.

The Lord forgave the bird because of its good intentions. She did not pull out the nails, but she really wanted to, and the Lord accepted her desire as the very thing.

So we, my friend D., need strive for good to good desires, intentions, deeds, words, thoughts, and so that all our feelings are aimed at pleasing God and our neighbors. If you practice kindness and force yourself to do every good thing, then the Lord and the Mother of God with all the saints will not hesitate to help you in this good intention.

Peace and God's blessing to you!

Schema-abbot SAVVA
FRUITS OF TRUE REPENTANCE

Soulful instructions for those seeking salvation

REFLECTION

We, Christians, must observe holy integrity in everything: deeds, words, thoughts - and we must keep our body pure and unblemished. Our soul is destined to be the bride of Christ and the dwelling place of God, therefore we need to keep it pure. It is necessary to cleanse it of passions and sins as soon as possible in order to achieve the goal and purpose of a Christian - the acquisition of the Holy Spirit.

While our soul is dirty, it cannot be the bride of Christ and the temple of the Holy Spirit. It's clear as a sunny day. What kind of communication can darkness have with light? And in order to become enlightened and take the path of virtue, you need a sharp push... It’s like an explosion of an atomic bomb in the soul! You know what an atomic bomb does, right? It incinerates everything around, nothing remains, not even traces of stones and metal... Our repentance should have the same effect in the soul. It should be so sincere, so ardent, should be offered with such contrition of heart, with such fear of God and a cry to God for mercy, that nothing dirty, unworthy, sinful should remain in the soul, so that only a single ardent desire for God should appear.

We need to think hard and hard about ourselves... The enemy of our soul fears nothing more than our thinking about ourselves, because this leads to the correction of life. We must imagine with particular clarity that every day we come closer and closer to death, to judgment and eternity. No one knows the day of his death. Death can strike us suddenly, today, right now, this very minute... What then? Ah, my friend D., it’s scary when you think about it, when you think about it well...

Life is not a toy! A toy can be replaced, but life is given to us once. Every moment, day after day, is carried away into eternity, and the past is irrevocable for us. With what care must one live one’s life, so that later one does not have to regret what one has lived, so one does not have to repent of one’s deeds beyond the grave... Such late repentance only increases suffering and torment.

CLOTHING OF THE SOUL

All Orthodox Christians at baptism put on a new, pure, bright, holy and immaculate Divine robe. But the trouble is that with our passions and vices we pollute and desecrate the clothing of our soul and thereby deprive ourselves of the right to eternal bliss. We sin a lot before the Lord. What kind of sinful defilements we have! We sin both externally and internally: we are lazy; voluptuous; capricious; flirtatious; we love bliss and luxury - wine, sinful entertainment; idle talk; slander; condemn; we lie, slander, and sometimes use obscene words.

Our soul and heart are infected with pride, ambition, greed, envy, hatred, gloating and other countless sins and vices.

How can we appear to the Lord in the Kingdom of Heaven in such dirty, smelly, disgusting clothes? How can we, so dirty, appear there, where there is only shrine, light, glory, beauty, joy and the eternal triumph of those celebrating?... No one will let us like that there until we are cleansed by the Sacrament of repentance and put on the best clothes of Christian virtues - in clothes holiness, purity and innocence.

GOD'S LONG-SUFFERENCE

If the Lord were only just, then he would execute the sinner immediately, during the sin itself, but the Lord is loving, in His philanthropy and mercy He has mercy on the sinner, endures for a long time and waits for his conversion, waits for repentance, waits for correction. The Lord endures for a long, long time, but if an inveterate sinner stubbornly refuses to repent and reform, then a terrible execution of God awaits him. There are many such sinners whom He rejects forever.

These people often live in complete prosperity, rejoice, have fun and do not suspect, and more often do not want to know, that their well-being is a sign of eternal rejection. There is nothing more terrible than the well-being of sinners. The most unfortunate person is the one who does not feel how dangerously he walks over the abyss, and who rejects or postpones his repentance. Many people think, and some openly say: “When we are old, then we will repent, but while we are young, do we care?” But who can be sure that he will live to old age? Besides, who can say that in old age he will be wiser than now? Will he then, out of habit, reject repentance? Experience shows us that advanced age only makes us more experienced in life, not wiser. Will the Lord be pleased with such repentance, when a sinner with his deeds and his whole life seems to say: “It’s on You, God, that I am not worth it. Now I am old and weak, and involuntarily I turn to You.”

But will the Lord accept such a sacrifice if a person consciously moved away from Him all his life and came to repentance only when he no longer had the strength or means to serve God, when he could no longer bear Him the fruits of repentance? The Lord is merciful, but He is also just. Whoever remains faulty, He punishes him with sudden death, so that the sinner passes into eternal life unprepared and unrefined. The afterlife fate of such an unrepentant sinner is indescribable, terrible and desolate. He will forever suffer with other sinners, and the smoke of their torment will rise to heaven.

The Lord endures... endures for a long time and waits for the sinner to turn to repentance or fill the measure of his iniquities and sins, as the Holy Angel said to the Apostle John the Theologian: “The time is near: let him offend again, and let the wicked be defiled again...” (Rev. 22:10-11), and then it will be more joyful for the pagans, “it will be more joyful for the land of Sodom and Gomorrah on the day of judgment” (Matthew 10:15), than for unrepentant sinners.

The Holy Apostle Paul had a vision of how the heavenly bodies, the ocean, and the earth, ready to swallow sinners alive, complained to the Lord about sinful people: he heard their groans and request that the Lord command them to destroy sinners, but the Lord answered them: repentance I am waiting!

VISION OF THE APOSTLE PAUL

The sun bowed to the surface of the waters,
The day fades and the night comes.
My spirit is troubled by grave anxiety:
In the general harmony a groan is heard...

The sun, golden crimson grief,
He prays with anguish, saying to the Creator:
“I cannot contemplate human affairs,
Let us put an end to lawlessness;

Oh, lead me, and I’ll light the air,
The creature that desecrated the world will perish in it.”
There was a voice to him: “I am waiting for repentance!
He who is unrepentant is guilty of judgment!”

The stars and the queen moon cry out:
“God, reveal Your all-righteous judgment:
People defile You with sin...
ABOUT! Command us, and we will bring darkness!

The voice answered: “I am waiting for repentance!

Shining with the tremulous light of dawn,
The stern giant of the ocean grumbles:

“People have brought down Your glory,
Eternal God, and this land,
They are worthy of execution - they led -
I will wash away the despicable from the earth forever!”

There was a voice to him: “I’m waiting for repentance!”
He who does not repent is guilty of judgment.”
Weeping bitterly and trembling in anger,
So the Earth exclaimed: “From the knife

The righteous perish, the wicked rejoices,
Mothers destroy innocent children
The son is not afraid to kill his mother, father -
There is no end to crimes!

Malice, betrayal, violence, fornication -
The temptations of the world are growing everywhere.
Oh, come on! I will open my mouth...
I will absorb everyone and remain clean,

Or let me not give them fruit,
Death will take them away, there will be no trace."
The voice answered: “I am waiting for repentance!

Complaints fell silent in the silence of the night,
The hymn of the universe is heard to me.
In the pale radiance of a million lights
I see the flight of angelic wings.

Angels bring things to God:
All manifestations of good or evil;
Everything that we accomplished last day.
Now the azure shadow has dissolved...

Suddenly the Spirit came out to meet the Angels...
My ears sweetly listen to His voice,
There is mercy in Him and love is deep...
“Where did you find such good deeds?” -

"We brought them from the terrible deserts,
Gloomy caves, rocky strongholds -
These are the deeds of those who have left the world,
Those who, having rejected the sweetness of vanities,

They hunger and thirst, grieving over sins..."
“Peace be upon them! Bliss awaits them in heaven!
The vision disappeared in the twinkling stars,
Again the flickering of ghostly wings.

Angels cry with drooping heads,
Heaviness is brought by human untruths.
Suddenly the Spirit came out to meet the Angels,
My ears timidly listen to His voice,

There is mercy in Him and love is deep...
“Angels, where did you find the burdens?” -
“We found them, Lord, from those
Who forgot You for fun,

Their hearts and minds are full of deceit,
God, do we really have to serve them?
“You guide them on the true path,
So that they too can rest,

It will be joyful in My Paradise,
In the unfading glory of the eternal day,
I expect repentance from them too -
He who does not repent is guilty of judgment.”

Instantly everything disappeared, only waves sometimes,
They timidly splash on the seashore...
In the diamond shine, in the silence of the night,
The hymn of the universe is heard to me.

WHAT ARE YOU, LORD!

My friend D., reading these lines, my heart trembles with tenderness, tears involuntarily come to my eyes... What is our Lord!.. How merciful He is! How loving He is! It is impossible for the human mind to comprehend the depth of His perfection! He is incomprehensible!

Now the sinner has come to the consciousness of his sinfulness, cries, sobs in deep sorrow and cries out:

- "God! How disgusting I am before You! How poor, beggarly, sinful, weak, disgusting, vile I am!.. Unbearable! I’m falling!.. I’m dying!.. Lord, save me!.. Lady!..”

The poor sinner wrings his hands in despair, torments his chest...

And the Lord is already stretching out his hands to him, with tender Fatherly love, hugging the sinner and comforting him. Peace, silence and tranquility and inexplicable joy are established in the heart of the sinner. He feels that the Lord has forgiven him, and in exhaustion falls at the feet of his Savior and in reverent feeling surrenders himself entirely to His holy will.

The Savior, in His mercy, forgiveness and love, always knocks on the sinner’s heart and calls him to repentance in order to save the soul and give it life and joy in communicating with himself. The influx of the Spirit of God covers us most often when we lament our sins, but it also happens at other times when we neither expect nor prepare for it.

When you realize how good and merciful the Lord is, then it becomes clear why despair is considered mortal, that is, a very serious sin. No matter how numerous a person’s sins may be and no matter how serious his crimes may be, God’s boundless mercy covers them all if a person repents, is contrite and sincerely wants correction. Sins, no matter how serious and numerous they may be, they have boundaries, they have a limit, and God’s mercy has no boundaries and limits, it is limitless, limitless. And when a person thinks that God will not forgive him his sins and despairs of his salvation, then he thinks of blasphemy against God, belittles His dignity, belittles Him in his concept, pushes God’s mercy away from himself, pushes salvation away from himself and, thus , he is destroying himself.

Glory to the Lord God that He gave us repentance! By repentance we will all be saved, without exception. Only those who do not want to repent and do not want to improve will not be saved.

REPENTANCE

Oh, how merciful and loving the Lord is! He is ready to forgive everyone and everything and is patiently waiting for our conversion, our sincere repentance. It is not quantity that awaits our conversion, our sincere repentance. It is not the number of sins and their severity that destroys us, but our unrepentant life. What destroys us is that we put off our repentance, as they say, in a distant drawer. This is why the Lord is angry with us. St. Apostle Paul writes: “But because of your stubbornness and unrepentant heart, you are storing up wrath for yourself on the day of wrath and revelation of righteous judgment from God, who will reward everyone according to his deeds” (Rom. 2:5-6).

The Lord wants to save everyone and give everyone eternal bliss, but we persist, remain stuck in our sins and turn a blind eye to repentance. Evil power distracts from repentance in various ways, but most often repentance is postponed due to negligence and false shame. But frankly speaking, one must be ashamed and afraid to sin, and when a sin has already been committed, then one must open it and confess it, because sooner or later the sin will come to light, if not in this life, then in the future, and then it will be scary and ashamed not only because of sin, but because of unreasonable secrecy.

To be a sinner is a common misfortune. There is not a single person without sin. God alone is sinless. If a person sins not by deed, then by word; if not by word, then by thought. We are conceived in iniquities and born in sins, so that in our very nature we are corrupted, therefore we are weak, infirm, passionate, willing to do everything evil, to commit every sin, so there is no need to be ashamed to repent.

There are Christians who do not repent and do not receive communion for another reason. They have forgotten about God’s mercy and repentance and reason according to human judgment: they say, I am such a great sinner that the Lord will never forgive me. This is already despair - a mortal sin. We must never forget that there is no unforgivable sin except unrepentant sin, that is, there is no sin that the Lord will not forgive if a person repents of it.

The worst thing is when they have no need for repentance, imagining that they are righteous and that they will be saved without repentance. No matter how righteously and holy we live, we cannot help but sin at all while we live in the body, and therefore the feeling of repentance should never leave us. With our minds we must always keep ourselves in hell, that is, we must sincerely consider ourselves worse than everyone else and worthy of hell, but just not despair.

Usually a person tries to belittle his sin and present it as less worthy of condemnation than he actually is, and thereby harms his soul. After all, sin is the only reason that distances us from God and blocks His love from us. This means that in order to get closer to God, in your imagination you must not belittle sin and its destructive effect, but, on the contrary, you must imagine it in the darkest colors. We must imagine that any sin, both big and small, leads to eternal death. In fact, this is how it is.

Repentance is the basis of our salvation, so it cannot be neglected. The holy sacrament of repentance is the font in which the sinner is cleansed for heaven. At baptism we we are born of water and the Holy Spirit, at repentance we we are reborn through tears and the Holy Spirit.

Repentance is a turning to something better, it is the beginning of a holy and immaculate life. In those who have faith and true, sincere repentance, that means there is also the determination to leave sin, the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ abides, cleansing sins through spiritual shepherds.

Rev. Ephraim the Syrian says this: “Repentance is a great crucible that takes in copper and turns it into gold, takes lead and gives back silver.”

To maintain and strengthen this feeling, the church gives a helping hand, directs a person on the path of the sacrament of cleansing of his sins. This sacrament cuts off the sinful part of his soul from a person. By this sacrament the past is destroyed, and therefore it destroys that which is worse for a person than sin itself - it destroys despair.

So, the merciful Lord forgives every sin, so there is no need to despair, there is no need to be ashamed to express your sins and there is no need to belittle them, but you need to repent with tears and the Lord will forgive them.

Anyone who wishes to begin the sacrament of repentance and the sacrament of communion prepares by fasting, that is, prayer and fasting. He expresses repentance for sins with fear before the priest by verbal confession or writes on paper if the confessor is deaf and dumb and for other reasons. Through the priest, the confessor receives forgiveness of sins. Sometimes the priest imposes penance on him, that is, punishment for a great sin.

The most important moment of the sacrament is the priest reading the prayer of permission, when he places the end of the epitrachelion on the head of the penitent.

We all want to be saved, but few people think and truly care about their salvation. Everyone wants to be in Paradise, but working and bringing good fruits for their salvation is a burden to everyone. This is why the work of salvation does not move forward. Few people grow quickly spiritually, the desire to be saved for many remains a desire, in words... But the Lord does not need words, but deeds!

Everyone knows that only a narrow, thorny and regrettable path leads to salvation, and a wide and extensive path of pleasing one’s sinful desires leads to destruction. But due to their carelessness, people forget about this. Sin is sweet and fascinating, and almost everyone surrenders to it willingly without thinking, without reasoning, they don’t want to think about the consequences of sin, but each of us knows what terrible consequences there are for sins in this life: illness, sorrow, all kinds of misfortune. In the future, afterlife, the soul is kept in hell for unrepentant sin.

AIR ORDERALS

The Monk Basil the New had Theodore's cell attendant. And so, when she died, his student Gregory wanted to know Theodora’s fate after death. He prayed fervently to God and went to bed. The Monk Theodora appeared to him in a dream and told in detail how she went through the aerial ordeals. Maybe you read it too, but let me briefly remind you again; it’s useful for me to remember this myself.

From the writings of the holy fathers you know that the airspace is filled with evil spirits, demons. And so, when after the death of a person the soul rises to God, on its way it meets many demons who torture it for its sins. They show charters on which are written all the big and small sins of a person that were not confessed to the spiritual father. It happens that a person sinned out of ignorance, that is, he did not know that it was a sin, but demons still demand an answer, as if a ransom for sin. How can a soul be redeemed? Good deeds! Demons, of course, do not need good deeds, and they gnash their teeth in anger when a soul pays off them. They would gladly cast the soul into hell, but the Angels protect it, and only if the soul has nothing to buy off, it has no good deeds, then only the angels leave, and the soul remains in the power of demons.

Rev. Theodora lived piously; it was not out of false shame that she hid her spiritual father, Rev. Vasily, the sin of youth is a prodigal sin. And if Rev. Vasily did not help (for ransom from demons he gave the holy angels his good deeds in the form of a bag of gold) to buy her off from demons, then even such a pious soul would have been cast into hell for unrepentant sin.

These are the ordeals the Rev. went through. Theodora and what sins are tortured from them:

1. At the first ordeal, human sins are tortured with the WORD, such as: idle talk, ridicule, blasphemy, singing obscene songs, countless exclamations, laughter and the like. For the most part, people impute these sins to nothing, do not repent of them before God and do not confess them to their spiritual father, so they are very dangerous.

2. At the second ordeal of LIES, all lies, perjury, calling on the name of God in vain (in vain), failure to fulfill vows given to God, and concealment of sins before the confessor in confession are tortured.

3. At the third ordeal of Slander, slander of one's neighbor, condemnation, and destruction of others are tortured.

4. At the fourth ordeal of Gluttony, the following are tortured: gluttony, drunkenness, untimely and secret eating without prayer, non-observance of fasts, voluptuousness, satiety, laryngeal insanity (even though you eat little, but it’s tasty), gluttony (even though it’s tasteless to eat, but more, to the point of oversaturation), etc. .i.e. all types of pleasing the belly.

5. At the fifth ordeal of LAZINESS, all days and hours spent in laziness, carelessness about serving God, and despondency are tortured; parasites who do not want to work themselves are tortured, as well as mercenaries who receive pay but do their work with carelessness.

6. At the sixth ordeal of THEFT, all kinds of theft and theft are tortured: gross and specious, open and secret.

7. At the seventh ordeal of the love of money, addiction to money and stinginess are tortured.

8. At the eighth ordeal of LICHVA, covetous moneylenders and appropriators of others’ property are tortured.

9. At the ninth ordeal of UNRIGHTEOUSNESS, unrighteous judges are tortured, carried away in the courts by partiality or bribery, acquitting the guilty and condemning the innocent; here the false scales and measures of sellers and other falsehoods are discussed.

10. At the tenth ordeal of ENVY, everyone who indulges in this destructive passion and its consequences is tortured.

11. At the eleventh ordeal of PRIDE, the following are tortured: pride, vanity, conceit, contempt (contempt), grandeur, failure to give due honor to parents, spiritual and civil authorities, disobedience to them and disobedience to them.

12. At the twelfth ordeal, ANGER and RAGE are tortured.

13. At the thirteenth ordeal, MEMORIES are tortured.

14. At the fourteenth ordeal of MURDER, not only robbery and murder are tortured, but also any kind of hitting, strangling, and pushing.

15. At the fifteenth ordeal of MAGIC, the following are tortured: sorcery, charm, making up poisonings, incantations, whispers (whispering) and the magical invocation of demons.

16. At the sixteenth ordeal of the PRODIGAL, all kinds of fornication are tortured, that is, the prodigal sin of persons who are not bound by marriage. Also tortured are: dreams of prodigal sin, consent to sin, pleasure in sin, voluptuous views, bad touches and touches.

17. At the seventeenth adulterous ordeal, the fornication sins of persons living in marriage, but who did not maintain marital fidelity and the marriage bed, are tortured; here, kidnappings and rapes of prodigal people are menacingly tortured, as well as the prodigal falls of persons dedicated to God and who have violated the vow of chastity and virginity.

18. At the eighteenth SODOM ordeal, unnatural sins, incest and other nasty deeds committed secretly, which are shameful and scary to even remember, are tortured.

19. At the nineteenth ordeal of HERESIES, the following are tortured: incorrect thinking about faith, apostasy from the Orthodox faith, blasphemy and similar sins.

20. At the twentieth ordeal of UNMERCY, unmercifulness, hatred and cruelty are tortured.

If someone has accomplished many feats, preserved the purity of virginity, exhausted the body with abstinence, but was merciless, then from this ordeal he is cast into the hellish abyss.

CELEBRATION

So, my friend D., let’s ask everyone for forgiveness and repent. Let us ardently and sincerely repent in order to throw off the sinful burden, otherwise sometimes it becomes scary...

Have you ever wondered: what if Christ comes to judge us today? What if I die today? What then? How will I be justified at the Last Judgment? How will I get through the ordeal?... I often think about this. After all, in essence, there is no sin for which we would not have to answer at the ordeal, no matter how unimportant the sin may seem to us. For example, idle talk! Who seriously takes idle talk as a sin! We are so used to talking a lot without need or benefit that we don’t even realize what we are saying and think: “Oh - nothing! It’s not a great sin!” And some simply cannot agree that it is sinful to even say simple, kind words. But the Lord Jesus Christ directly said: “For every idle word that people speak, they will give an answer on the day of judgment” (Matthew 12:36).

Do you see? We will give an answer not for some evil, bad, harmful word, but for a simple, ordinary, but idle word.

What kind of idle words are these? And these are the words that we pronounce, as they say, out of nothing to do; empty words, without any inner dignity and meaning; words that mean nothing and have no purpose, that do not cause any need, have no useful use. So... we talk just to say something. Our whole life passes in idle talk and idle talk: both in personal family life, and in public places, everywhere and everywhere, wherever we are. In our conversations and conversations we hardly come across a reasonable, useful, soul-saving word, and, as a rule, our entire conversation consists of a collection of idle words.

How scary, D.! Let's look back at our lives and clearly imagine where we are going and what awaits us in the future eternal life, even if only for one sin idle talk.

In order to more clearly imagine the gravity of this, as it seems to everyone, “unimportant” sin, let’s try to make a small mathematical calculation: in order to read the “Our Father” prayer three times, and slowly, it takes only one minute, that is, in one in a minute we say one and a half hundred words. This means that in one hour we speak nine thousand words. But which of us is such an ascetic whose conversation in twenty-four hours a day would be calculated in one hour? Of course, in the life of every person there are days that he spends in silence out of necessity, when there is no one to talk to, but... this is not a feat! Well one poet said:

And no matter how much dumbness is a feat,
Still, free silence is better!

In fact, if a person is forced to remain silent, and his thoughts wander everywhere and idle talk with his mind and heart with himself and with the one he is thinking about, then what good does his silence do to him? It would be better if he praised God out loud in private!

This is the purpose of abstaining from idle words, so that it is easier to assimilate unceasing prayer.

I have such spiritual children who love to talk. And you know how difficult it is to refrain from judging in a conversation. I have to deal strictly with such people, I impose penance: read the prayer of Ephraim the Syrian: “Lord and Master of my life, do not give me the spirit of idleness, despondency, covetousness and idle talk.” (bow to the ground)",“Grant the spirit of chastity, humility, patience and love to me, Your servant (bow to the ground)",“Hey, Lord, King, grant me to see my sins and not condemn my brother, for blessed are you forever and ever. Amen (bow to the ground). Then twelve small bows. For every bow say: “God, cleanse me, a sinner.” After this, repeat the entire prayer: “Lord and Master of my life... (bow to the ground) and have only soul-saving conversations, and for everyday use the conversation should be thirty-three words per day. They do it - well done! Of course, there are sometimes breakdowns, not without it, but mostly they stick to the blessing. And some even ask themselves: “Father, give me a penance of thirty-three words, otherwise I will talk a lot.”

So, my friend, let's continue our counting. This means that in one hour we can utter nine thousand words, useful or idle. And if we talk for a total of ten hours a day, it means that we speak ninety thousand words per day; per week - six hundred thirty thousand; for a month - two million seven hundred thousand, and for a year - more than thirty-two million.

If every word is compared to a grain of sand, then in one year of our life more than thirty million grains of sand will be put on the scale. Can you imagine? This is a whole bag! And, of course, the scales will immediately lower us to the bottom of hell for the sin of idle talk alone.

We do not forget serious sins, we lament, we force ourselves to correct ourselves, but such minor verbal sins, which we do not pay attention to, can imperceptibly lead us to hell without any sinful deeds.

They say this: “No condemnation means salvation without difficulty.” You can add: “Idle talk is an inconspicuous ruin.”

Every word, no matter how small or insignificant it may be, on the day of the Last Judgment will appear with us at the Judgment and will testify either for us or against us.

You see, my friend, how unhelpful and even harmful empty, idle talk is. I think now you will be more careful in your words, especially when we look at the sin of condemnation.

CONDEMNATION

The Lord said: “Judge not, lest ye be judged.” This is the easiest way we can get rid of eternal condemnation, from destruction. But we forget the words of Christ, and as soon as two or three get together, we begin to sort out other people’s affairs: this one is a drunkard, that one is a villain, and that one is a thief and a libertine, the husband does not love his wife, the stepmother beats the stepdaughter, etc. And so we get carried away by the conversation, that you don’t want to part. We see how our interlocutor enjoys our conversation, we try, to please him, to remember the smallest details that, as it seems to us, prove the guilt of those whom we condemn. The interlocutors seem to us to be reasonable, pleasant people with whom we can “relax our souls.” There is an expression: “take your soul away.” Where? To hell, of course.

They say differently about spiritual conversation. They say that talking with this person delights the soul. And if the conversation does not delight the soul, but takes it away... from piety, then the interlocutors are pushing each other into absolute hell. Man himself sins and causes others to sin. That's how scary it is!

Why does the Lord ask so strictly for condemnation? Yes, because by doing this we oppose His holy will. Jesus Christ came into the world in order to save sinners, but we, without any compassion, beat them in word and deed, and thereby destroy them. Without noticing it ourselves, we imitate the ungodly demons and help them destroy themselves and their neighbors when we expose their sins and bring each other to condemnation.

After all, in essence, what is sin? This is a serious, dangerous, painful illness of the soul, and mental illness is more severe, worse than physical illness. No matter how seriously the body hurts, this illness is temporary, it disappears with death, but the illness of the soul, i.e. unrepentant sin passes with us into eternity.

Sin is dirt, darkness, stench, abomination... Judge for yourself, can a soul enter the Kingdom of Heaven if it is sick? Not only you and I, but everyone will say that until the soul recovers, until it is cleansed, it cannot enjoy eternal joy. But the Lord feels sorry for us, sorry for sinners - spiritual sufferers. He wants all Christians to be saved, so He calls for repentance, which, as a universal medicine, cures every illness of the soul, every sin.

We resist the will of God and instead of sympathizing with mentally ill sinners and tearfully begging the Lord to have mercy on them, so that the Lord would call them to repentance and cleanse their souls, with our condemnation we intensify their illness, make them worse, even more irritable, bitter , inveterate, and there are often cases when they repeat a sin as if only to spite those who condemn them. So it turns out that with one blow we kill two birds with one stone. It’s a sin to kill hares for fun; Let every breath praise the Lord! Well, maybe just for the sake of their skins... And there are times when they are killed, as they say, out of nothing to do.

Deliver, Lord!

And with one word of condemnation we prepare ourselves and them, if they become irritated, for eternal fire; we kill virtue in ourselves, grace departs, and we intensify mental illness and morally kill those whom we condemn. Each of us has experienced how difficult it can be to endure condemnation and slander, but who is enlightened by this experience? We ourselves suffer from others who condemn us, and we ourselves make our neighbors suffer for the same reason. It is for such foolishness that the Lord punishes us; for our cruelty and callousness He takes away grace. We blacken ourselves with sins, push salvation away from ourselves, and become obscene in the eyes of God.

The Lord says: “I want mercy, not sacrifice.” Some people pray to God a lot and eat little bread, spend their nights on vigil and wear chains, but they themselves are so angry that they cannot tolerate a single word of disagreement. He boasts and boasts about his external deeds, but the Lord expects from us, first of all, internal correction. The Lord needs a pure heart, a heart that has mercy on everyone, does not condemn, and is loving. If a person could keep his heart pure, the prophetic words of the Lord would be fulfilled on him: “But I tell you truly, there are some who are present here who will not taste death until they see the Kingdom of God” (Luke 9:27). And when deeds are performed for one’s own glory, and not for the glory of God, then this is not pleasing to God and is to the detriment of oneself. A person begins to be vain about his exploits and good deeds, like a Pharisee, and therefore condemns others. By the way, the Egyptian elders were so afraid of vanity that they avoided good deeds for the sake of it. Of course, this happened at a certain stage of wise work on oneself, and the one who looks only at his own sins and does not see good deeds will not condemn others, and when he sees someone sinning, he will say: “I am worse than him, help us, Lord, save yourself!”

In order not to fall into pharisaism, it is useful to do good deeds in secret from others and even from yourself, that is, so that your left hand does not know what your right hand is doing; do it as if in passing, as if by the way, and then forget it forever, let only God and the celestials know.

Condemnation is also very dangerous because the sin of the condemned is transferred to the condemner. I remember there was such a case. An old woman comes up and says: “Father, pray! What kind of misfortune? When I was young, I didn’t feel such carnal passion as I do now. What’s wrong with me?!” “So you have condemned the fornicator. Was it like that? “It was, father, it was! She condemned her neighbor...” “Well,” I say, “now repent and ask her for forgiveness. Don’t despair, it will pass.” And indeed, as soon as she told this to her neighbor and sincerely asked her for forgiveness, everything calmed down. There are even such cases. Sin does not recognize age. Condemned - get the same. She showed cruelty to the sick person - get sick yourself, so that later you will become more merciful. This is also the mercy of God, leading us to salvation. The old woman later said that this incident immediately sobered her up. “Like hell! Like an ax chopped off... I see who is sinning, but I say to myself: I don’t see anything. I’ve had enough of my own sins, I don’t need other people’s.”

Try, my friend, to take advantage of her experience. When a condemning thought comes, say to yourself: “Why do I need someone else’s sin? I don’t know how to get rid of mine!”

There is such a law in spiritual life: as soon as you condemn someone, you will certainly fall into the same sin. Many have learned this law through life experience, and some fall into new, unknown sins and wonder, no worse than this old woman: where does this misfortune come from? In such cases, you must quickly remember who you condemned, find this person, confess your sin to him and ask for forgiveness, and then confess the sin to your spiritual father, and then the Lord will forgive and remove this sin.

How tempting, how easy it is to notice someone else’s sin, shortcomings and condemn the person. This is because we indulge our passion - vanity. At this time, against the backdrop of other people's sin, we seem to ourselves better than others, almost great. This is just an effect, we indignantly attack the poor, unfortunate sinner both behind our eyes and in our eyes: “How is the earth holding you, hasn’t it swallowed you up yet? How can a wife not drive away a drunkard like that?”

- “Has your husband cheated? Ooh! I could deal with this in no time! What a fool for putting up with it!”

- “How fertile a rabbit is! She herself is a beggar... how many did she bring? Well... We must first learn to live, and then get married!”

In a fit of his imaginary greatness and omniscience, a person loses the boundary of what is permissible, his mind becomes darkened, and he ceases to recognize sin and piety. He no longer spares anyone: neither the sinner nor the righteous. He judges and disparages everyone, with a broad gesture he shrugs off someone else’s misfortune with one hand... but he doesn’t apply his mind to his own terrible misfortune (the danger of death for being convicted).

A serious sin is the condemnation of a sinner, and the condemnation of a righteous person is even more severe. The Lord immediately punishes for this sin.

Michalla, the wife of the prophet and king David, laughed at her husband - she lost the blessing to give birth to children! Mariam, the sister of the prophet Moses, condemned her brother - she became covered with leprosy, and Canaan was even cursed for condemning her grandfather, the righteous Noah, and laughing at him.

That's how scary it is! And many people think: “Ah! Nonsense! Just think - he said his word!

No, this is not nothing! The retribution will be severe for those who live this way. You cannot not only condemn, but even think bad things about a person. A humiliating thought is disgusting to God, and He punishes for it, especially when the righteous are condemned and destroyed, and it is often difficult to recognize them, because they hide their dispassion under the cover of a nasty passion. Therefore, you need to be very careful in everything. We must not forget that repentance destroys both evil and good deeds, so never regret the good you have done.

Yes, it’s scary to judge! In fact, we judge ourselves, because with the same court we judge others, we ourselves will be judged, and even more strictly. Just imagine: in a conversation you and I humiliate and condemn a sinner, and at this time the Lord accepts his repentance and forgives, or maybe has already forgiven his sin a long time ago. God justifies, and we accuse... which means we become opponents of God, antichrists, arrogating to ourselves the power of Christ. That's how scary it is!

God has a lot of mercy. Today a sinner is a friend of Satan, but tomorrow he will repent and become a friend of God. It is unknown what the end of his life and ours will be. The robber killed people and ascended with the Lord to Paradise, and Judas was considered a disciple of Christ for three years and ended up in hell.

So, with all your might, avoid the sin of condemnation.

The consequences of this sin are terrible: it breaks the union of friends, hatred and quarrels slip between relatives; Hatred takes root in people who have done nothing bad to each other.

Take your example from Jesus Christ. He did not condemn a single person among those who sinned through their weakness; He strictly rebuked only the Pharisees-hypocrites, for they themselves did not go to salvation and hindered others. With everyone, Christ was affectionate, courteous, attentive, sensitive; He consoled everyone, helped everyone.

When the thought of condemnation comes, remember the crucified Christ and His words: “Father! let them go, for they do not know what they are doing.” With these words you too pray for those who condemn, because those who judge and judge also often do not know that they often condemn not for sin, but for virtue.

Well, for example, they condemn a humble person for pride only because he does not want to talk to them (to talk idle and condemn), or they condemn pious spouses for having many children, etc. Such examples are countless, especially when the righteous act like fools. We very often make mistakes in our judgments: whoever does not deserve praise, we praise, and whoever is worthy of praise and honor, we blame and condemn. How terrible it is! Have a compassionate soul, be lenient towards everyone, and you will not judge.

KNOWING YOURSELF

Before judging others, it is better to know yourself. What are we? They say that in order to know someone else's soul, you need to eat three pounds of salt together. And to know yourself is even more difficult. You can eat ten pounds of salt and remain ignorant of yourself if you do not engage in internal self-knowledge. We will all seem good to ourselves, better than others, and then it will be difficult to get rid of the sin of condemnation. But if we really think about ourselves and look into our hearts, asking God for the light of Christ’s grace, we will be horrified... how dangerously we walk! Each of us will see in himself such a thing that the hair on his head will stand out of fear... Each will see that he is truly the worst of all, and, as if to prove himself, he will begin to think like this: although others sin due to weakness, they do not respect their neighbors. they condemn, but I... not a month, a week, a day goes by without me condemning, humiliating, insulting, or slandering anyone. Although others sin out of weakness, they are cleansed by repentance, but I... I can’t even repent properly: if I don’t justify myself with words, then in my thoughts I consider myself right and in the depths of my soul I continue to be offended by others or simply consider them bad, unworthy people, and therefore I do not purify myself, but become even more darkened, becoming even more indecent before God.

Others, although they sin out of weakness, lead them to contrition and humility. They do not try to hide their sins. They are despised and humiliated, but they are not offended for this, because they consider themselves sinners and worthy of all humiliation, and I... I diligently hide every sin, small and large, from everyone in order to seem good, pious... alas! alas!.. How far I am from real piety! Like gunpowder, I explode at the slightest reason or without reason, from mere suspiciousness, and in my soul I harbor anger and revenge...

This kind of thinking is very useful. We must further and further develop this contrition - self-knowledge, knowledge of our insignificance - and think about it not once a month or week, but daily, hourly, until this happens. repentant feeling will not become akin to our being, will not enter flesh and blood, will not become an integral part of our spiritual heart; and when we acquire this imperishable treasure, then we must guard it like the apple of our eye, until the last days of his life.

BRIEF EDITION

You ask to explain the similarities and differences between condemnation and reproof. Yes, this question is significant.

Recently, one child also asked: “Father, why do you write in some books: you must convict the sinner and help him correct himself, but in other books you write: you cannot condemn. Isn’t denouncing and condemning essentially the same thing?”

Far from the same thing! And it is precisely in essence that they are not the same thing, although, at first glance, they are similar to each other. Reproof has the goal of correcting a person, making him better and saving the soul, while condemnation has the goal of humiliating a person, darkening, breaking his life and destroying his soul. You can object to this and say: “Nothing like that! When I condemn someone, I never pursue the goal of destroying him. I’ll just express my opinion and that’s all.”

Oh my! Is this so, my friend? If I ask you, what goal are you pursuing when you condemn? Maybe in the eyes of your interlocutor you want to elevate the person being condemned? Maybe you want him to develop good feelings and disposition towards him? Maybe you want to reconcile them with your condemnation?.. Of course not, condemnation leads to just the opposite results.

The purpose of a Christian, a follower of Jesus Christ, is to do good and save souls. Save yourself, save your neighbors, therefore, when you see someone sinning, rebuke him meekly, with love, but try not to condemn him. The Lord commanded: “If your brother sins against you, then go and expose him.” The Lord did not say: “Judge,” but said: “Reprove” in order to correct the sinner. You can even tell another about his vices, so that he too can take part in the salvation of the sinner, if one does not listen to you. You can only talk about the vices of others to a reliable, pious, proven person, in whom you are confident that he will not condemn or harm the cause of salvation.

Advise the lost without hesitation, even if you have to suffer for it. Be patient, understand, help as much as you can, and you will receive a great reward from God. Just don’t be harsh and rude in your reprimand, keep yourself from irritation, from anger... - God forbid, if you feel that you are starting to get irritated, immediately move on to another topic of conversation, do not touch upon the reproof, or even quickly ask for forgiveness and get away, because the reproof, said with irritation, in a rude form this is condemnation. In this case, you cannot save the sinner and you will destroy yourself. Whoever denounces with bitterness and humiliation takes his sin upon himself in the same way as when condemning. Try to turn him away from lawlessness not with your judgment, but with the fear of God. Gently explain to him how dangerous it is for the soul to commit such a sin, how disgusting it is to God, and what punishment awaits him for this sin.

There are cases when such meek and loving admonition has such great power that an abyss immediately seems to open before the sinner’s mental gaze. He clearly begins to feel his doom and despairs of his salvation. In this case, console him with these words: “The Lord is merciful, he will forgive everything, just repent and don’t do it again later. And if you bear abundant fruits of repentance and purify your heart, then there will be no end to happiness...” And further develop the thought, explain to him what bliss the pardoned righteous look forward to while still living on earth, how such a state is achieved... and other things that you yourself know and can convey to another. And if he stubbornly makes excuses, then immediately move the conversation to another topic, otherwise you will harden his heart even more and destroy in him any inclination towards goodness.

To meekly reprove and admonish is very useful and soul-saving for both sides, but with meekness, humility and love only one who is free from passions and vices, especially pride, vanity and anger, can reprove with meekness, humility and love, who admonishes not only with words, but also with good deeds, and most of all an example of a good, pious life. Otherwise, we can start, as they say, about health, and end with peace, that is, a good intention to help a sinner correct itself can turn into the cause of his final death if we really act according to our passions. Therefore, the best thing for everyone is to pray to God for the sinner and kiss your cross for him five times in the morning and evening every day.

Have you yet experienced, my friend, what beneficial effects such a simple act has: kissing a cross? Try it! You will see for yourself, without further ado.

With regard to reproof, do not be embarrassed, approach it boldly: this is God’s will for you personally, but just do not be vain, do not be arrogant in front of yourself and others, which, they say, your spiritual father has blessed. Be more humble. Remember the words of the Holy Scripture: “Not many become teachers, knowing that we will suffer great condemnation” (James 3:1) if we condemn more than we admonish, or if we become vain about our knowledge and good deeds.

Open your lips only for prayerful glorification, glorifying God, for meek admonishment of those who sin and for a brief answer to those who question; the rest of the time, keep your lips, that is, be silent, and do unceasing, undistracted prayer.

CONVERSATION ANALYSIS

It is difficult to save the soul for someone who does not remain silent, who is always engaged in empty talk about earthly and vain things, especially who condemns others. It is not for nothing that they say: “He who is long-winded is also many sinners.” What deep truth there is in these words!

Try, D., to analyze your ordinary conversation, as they say, to take it apart, and you will be convinced that almost every word is a sin: now a complaint, now a reproach, now a murmur, now an argument, or even even scolding or condemnation and slander. Take even the case when we ask each other: “How are you?” - Well, what do you think: is it good or bad? Is such a question good for the soul or harmful?

To answer these questions correctly, you need to know the intention of the questioner. If a person asks with the intention of helping a sick person: bring medicine, buy necessary products and things, clean the room, etc., then this is good; and if they ask only with the intention that show your love and care for your neighbor, but apart from ahs, groans and shaking your head, it does nothing to help the sick person, then this is very bad. Such hypocrisy is disgusting to both God and people. He himself sins by idle talk and leads others to sin. And the most important thing is that he, like a robber, robs the sick person, steals the reward that the Lord has prepared for the sick person for his patience. He grumbled about his illness and lost his reward. And whoever caused this grief doesn’t give a damn. He is cheerful and rejoices: “That’s how attentive I am! They won’t say about me, as they say about T. and A., that I’m heartless, that I only care about myself, I care about others too!” Who added his imaginary righteousness to all other sins and, like the Pharisee, is arrogant and exalted above others.

If a person asks about health with the intention of starting a conversation on this topic, in order to then complain about his illness himself, then this is also very bad for the same reasons, only in this case he becomes a robber for himself and robs himself.

This question is asked very often in church. If you take into account the fact that talking in church is a grave and great sin, then you can imagine the condemnation to which those who aimlessly ask such a question expose themselves.

Make it a rule every day to analyze your conversation in the same way, piece by piece, as it happens during the day. And you, like fire, will avoid communities and conversations, learn to remain silent and get used to not judging even in your thoughts.

SILENCE

A wise Christian is always silent, because he knows that the tongue, although small and soft, hurts and pierces the heart, and most importantly, destroys the soul.

The Holy Scripture tells us: “Whoever says: you are foolish will be subject to fiery hell.” (Matt. 5:22).

“It often happens that in a conversation, even if they don’t use the word “crazy,” they express the same thought in other words. They say to a healthy person: “What can we take from him! What does he understand! or “He’s not right in the head!” and other remarks.

Perhaps in your conversation, D., such humiliation of a person slips through? God forbid! This is a very big sin.

If you come across something incomprehensible to you in faith, then do not annoy the one who explains it to you with contradictions, but remain silent and pray and wait patiently until the Lord allows you to understand it. The time will come when you will learn this not only from words, but also from life experience. If any of your works of faith and love are subject to false judgments and criticism from your neighbors - keep quiet do not reveal your virtue, do not justify yourself to people, so as not to lose your reward, but pray to God, and He will justify you and reward you.

If disaster and sorrow befall you - keep quiet Do not complain to anyone, do not grumble, do not cry, but calmly, complacently endure the attack and thereby prove that you have no stubbornness and disobedience to the fate of the Almighty, but that you readily submit to the Providence of God.

If your temporary life is so prosperous that it is difficult for your heart to contain your joy and bliss, if you fly on wings of happiness... you want to embrace the whole world with your love and tell everyone about your joy - keep quiet and only offer thanksgiving prayers to the Lord. They may misunderstand you and be tempted, you will bring condemnation to sin, or you will unnoticeably fall into vanity and lose grace, lose joy. Shut up!

Silence is the root of sinlessness, so try to be silent as much as possible. If they ask you, say briefly, and if no one asks, be silent, for silence leads to a quiet, peaceful and sinless life. Even if you happen to be in the company of pious and godly Christians, it is still more pleasant to listen than to speak. Well, if you absolutely must speak, then speak the truth about everything openly, without any ambiguity, because ambiguity is almost the same as lying, and lying leads to Gehenna. It is better to suffer sorrow for the truth than to tell a lie. He who lies and deceives despises God and fears people; but people despise such people and do not believe them when they even tell the truth.

Do not make promises when you are not sure that you will keep them, but if you promise something, then make every effort to fulfill what you promised. Better are deeds without words than words without deeds, for grace is given not to the one who speaks, but to the one who lives well and does good deeds.

Do not show yourself to anyone that you are smarter and better than others, do not argue with anyone, do not explain your needs to anyone unless absolutely necessary; Don’t talk to anyone about your deeds, which could show you to be either great or despicable, and don’t judge anyone, but just consider yourself guilty and irresponsible for everything. If you do all this, then unnoticed by yourself you will climb the ladder of virtues, and if you do not refrain from speaking and do not force yourself to remain silent, then you will have to grieve a lot in life and will go along a long, roundabout path to spirituality. moral perfection. And the Holy Scripture speaks about this: “If anyone thinks that he is pious and does not bridle his tongue, his piety is empty” (James 1:26). Christ also said: “By your words you will be justified, and by your words you will be condemned” (Matthew 12:37), so if you cannot or do not want to remain silent, then say only what serves for edification in the faith, so that your words deliver grace to those who listen.

If we spoke only good, holy, divine things, if we taught the ignorant, admonished those who wandered, exhorted those who were stuck in sins, comforted the sad, taught children everything good, then we would be pious teachers and comforters. Sound, reasonable, useful and godly words are not used to condemn us, but to justify us, and even a reward for them is sent from the Lord, for this is the main Christian virtue (Matthew 11, v. 19).

WITH THE CRYING CRY

You write that you do not have a clear understanding of the Gospel saying “weep with those who weep and rejoice with those who rejoice,” and you do not know how to act in life.

Wisdom is needed here. Of course, those who weep with those who weep or rejoice with those who rejoice according to their passions act unwisely. They only tempt each other and harm the cause of salvation. Well, for example, a person cries out of resentment: someone upset him or he feels sorry for a lost thing or money - he cries again; cries with hatred and anger that his plan for revenge has failed; cries from jealousy, envy, etc. A compassionate “friend” patiently listens to his complaints, full of anger, condemnation, bile, cowardice, and sometimes curses...

He calms and consoles him with his assent and agreement with him to evil, and sometimes with unkind advice, instead of reminding him of the commandments of God and the benefits of sorrows and suffering in this life for eternal life.

Such crying is wicked, disastrous, and whoever cries with such a crying person sins himself and, by his participation, confirms his friend in wickedness, as they say, completely destroys him, does not give him the opportunity to come to his senses and come to repentance.

If a person cries, suffering for his loved ones, because they darken their lives with their sins and destroy their souls, then join him, console him as best you can, and with tears beg God to bring them to repentance by any means and help them to correct themselves. .

Also, you can only rejoice about good, pious things that are not dissolved by sin, and if a girl rejoices because she managed to win the groom away from her friend, or a neighbor is happy that her husband has updated the apartment with rich, fashionable furniture, or a friend is happy that she found out, from whom the rumors came, as they say, who washed dirty linen in public, and now she will bone that person, etc., etc. - to rejoice with such means to add sin to sin. Deliver, Lord! If you cannot meekly reason with them, silently make a prayer in your soul for them, silently... and this secret alms of yours will be pleasing to God.

Whoever sympathizes with those who cry because of their passions, as I have already said, aggravates this passion in them and incites hatred, and hatred is the most serious vice.

HATRED

Just as love in the law of God is the highest virtue and saves the soul, so hatred, one of the most serious sins, destroys the soul. The Apostle says that whoever hates his brother is a murderer, he remains in death, he hates God Himself. Their afterlife fate is terrible: they will suffer along with the sorcerers and robbers who destroy people.

The sin of hatred is very common, and there are few people who are free from this sin, as well as from condemnation. Are you surprised? Don't be surprised, my friend! Whoever has not acquired true Christian love for his neighbor is not free from hatred, only this sin is so vile that people are ashamed of themselves when it manifests itself, therefore hatred is one of those sins that is carefully hidden from prying eyes and, unfortunately, even from myself. They deceive themselves that there is no hatred, they do not repent of this sin, so the sin, hiding, lives and thrives until it is revealed in a painful attack of psychosis. And then those around you will not recognize the person, and the person will not recognize himself:

- “Where does this come from?.. What’s wrong with me?”

- “For mercy, is this really the quiet, meek woman we knew her to be? Impossible! What's wrong with her?

It’s as if a person, subject to the passion of hatred, breaks loose from a chain. He is like a drunken man who has lost his sanity. He becomes insane. The rudest and cruelest words fly out of his mouth, he is ready to tear to shreds the person who has unbalanced him... In this state, parents curse their children, children curse their parents, and even go so far as to kill.

Do you think, D., that such people can be cured with pills and potions? No, my friend! Only love for one's neighbors and humility cure this disease, this serious mental illness - hatred.

If a nervous person wants to be cured of his illness, he must every day infringe on himself in everything and, instead of swallowing pills from chemicals or plants, he must swallow pills of ridicule, lies, and all kinds of grief from every person. It's hard... Yes, it's hard! But is it easier to be sick? And most importantly: what are the terrible consequences of this sin. I took the extreme, when the sin of hatred is revealed in the form of an attack, and I think there is no need to describe other types. As soon as everyone takes a closer look at all their actions and deeds in relation to others, almost everyone will certainly find in themselves signs of this sin to one degree or another.

You can object to this with these words: “I have never hated anyone, although I do not burn with love for everyone I meet.”

That's it, my friend! He who does not glow, in other words, in whom there is no love for everyone he meets, the sin of hatred lives in him, but it is either weakened, or dormant until the occasion, veiled, so that neither the person himself notices it, if he does not live an inner life, nor those around them do not notice this, because the concept of the sin of hatred is distorted in almost everyone.

We are accustomed to believe that hatred is revealed only in those cases when, say, an enraged husband in a fit of jealousy kills his wife and rival, or a rejected groom, harboring anger, secretly sets fire to the newlyweds' house, or a person dishonored by slander mutually spews blasphemy or slander, secretly or explicitly, etc. And if we do not have such manifestations, then we consider ourselves clean from this sin. But is this true? Everyone knows that sins: malice, hatred and revenge are inseparable from each other, they form, as it were, a single whole, and whoever has malice, that is, irritability, also has hatred. As proof, I will give you a few short examples.

In order not to bore you with countless facts from worldly family life, I will take a few examples from a pious environment, when we are in church, when we should not have even a shadow of the sin of hatred. What do we see? Spying, eavesdropping, denunciations, reproaches, various sarcastic words, ridicule; another crosses himself while pushing his neighbor; others go ahead and press so hard that the poor old women’s bones crack, and don’t look at the fact that they are crushing the children...

Tourists entered the church - irritation appears in the heart, many think, and others say: “Why are they walking around to no avail... They don’t pray themselves and they prevent people from praying.” But, frankly speaking, whoever prays earnestly and with attention internally, no one and nothing can stop him. Entire regiments of demons rushed towards the Holy Fathers, apparently, with shouts, terrible sounds and noise, they even shook the cell, it seemed that it would collapse and crush them to death, and even then they remained adamant in prayer, nothing bothered them. If something bothers someone, or someone gets irritated or becomes angry, that is the sin of hatred.

Internally, we must work on ourselves in such a way that in our thoughts there is no analysis of what he, she, they are like. And in all cases, you need to turn your attention only to yourself if irritation appears.

Here's an example: tourists came in while reading St. The Gospels shuffle their feet, drown out the words of the Holy Scriptures... Well, who will like that? Dissatisfaction involuntarily appears in your soul... Catch yourself immediately. Ah, they say, an evil soul! Don't you like it?.. You alone need to be saved, with all the comforts, and let others die? Yes? Or maybe today grace will touch their souls, maybe today that seed of piety will fall on their hearts, which will bear fruits more abundant than yours. What can you boast about yourself? What came to church? Relax! After all, you didn’t come for a feat, if everyone around you is bothering you, if you notice everything behind everyone... Did you come to have fun? Admit it! With a knife to the throat, approach your soul and do not let it come to its senses until it comes to terms; do not give her the opportunity to justify herself, frighten her with the wrath of God, so that she gains the fear of God, this invaluable treasure in the matter of salvation. Tell her: be silent, do not reproach those who entered, because your word may be a temptation for them, and you may be the cause of their death... You will not escape this fate if this happens.

Indeed, how many souls do we destroy with our seductive behavior and seductive words! If only in that we bring condemnation to sin, not to mention anything else. And who truly, consciously, with all sincerity repents of this sin?

And when you begin to so carefully analyze your every step, every word, then you will not need evidence that almost every soul, with the exception of the humble, is possessed by the passion of hatred to one degree or another.

Just as all virtues in the form of rays emanate from one center - love, so many sins emanate from one center - hatred.

PRAYER FOR ENEMIES

The essence of repentance is to improve and do good deeds. Without good works, faith is dead. And good deeds mean not only giving alms, but also praying for our enemies, that is, for those who offend us, who are a burden to us. Such prayer is also counted as alms to us.

Why? Yes, because when our neighbors do dirty tricks on us, then they stain the clothes of their souls with sins, and for the sake of our prayers the Lord again cleanses their souls and forgives their sins. For example, they thought badly of us - it’s the same as if they shook out the rugs or cleaned the chimney in their wedding attire. They will definitely be covered with dust and soot. And the dust from sins is not just dust: it is not so easy to get rid of. If they forget to repent that they thought badly of us, then this sinful dust will remain on them or on us if we thought badly of others. During general confession, secretly repent to God of such sins (sin of thoughts) and lament for them, or even better: do not wait for confession, but as soon as you have sinned, quickly kiss your cross, which you wear on your chest, and confess your sins to him.

So, evil thoughts even leave marks on the clothes of the soul, and evil words are equated with evil deeds. For example, if someone slandered you, it’s like the slanderers poured a bottle of ink on you. They have denigrated your name, undermined your authority... it is difficult to restore your good name and authority, but it is even more difficult for slanderers to bring such repentance that would completely cleanse their soul from the sin of slander and condemnation, therefore slanderers need prayer, and we must pray for them earnestly, as for benefactors of our salvation. To cleanse themselves, they need to shed many, many tears, and most importantly, bear the fruits of repentance in order to completely erase the sin of slander. We must repent in front of everyone and say: “It was I who slandered this or that person... I seduced everyone: because of me you sinned with condemnation. Sorry".

There is nothing easier than to condemn and slander a person, and nothing more difficult than to mitigate the consequences of his sin. Slander is like a burning coal in a fire or straw. You threw the coal, but after a while you won’t be able to pick it up. Flame is not allowed!

There is a good folk saying: “The word is not a sparrow; if it flies out, you won’t catch it!” How often do we regret what we have said!.. I have already spoken about the harm of idle talk, especially condemnation and slander, and now I mention it in passing so that it is easier for you to understand why prayer for enemies is considered the greatest alms for them.

Just imagine: our enemies, whether out of envy, jealousy, or simply out of habit, at the instigation of an evil force, insult us, oppress us, infringe on us in everything, cause us great losses, even sometimes inflict beatings... Who do they harm more? For us or for ourselves? Of course, for yourself! It's clear as day! They are truly enemies only for themselves, but for us they are benefactors. And here's why.

Our earthly life is like a dream. Decades flash before a person like calendar pages. Ask a very elderly person, whose life has been filled with continuous sorrows and illnesses, is he tired of life? Does he want to die? If his sorrows and illnesses are behind him, he will even be surprised. “How can you get tired of life? Life is so good! At every step you see the Creator and His creations. Feeling His presence within yourself is such happiness!”

“Yes, of course! Have you forgotten how much grief you suffered in life?”

“Eh, falcon! Everything went like a dream. Much is forgotten, and what comes to mind is as if it were not life, but from a book read.”

Only those who at this moment are experiencing the most severe sorrows and illnesses, only they, and even then not all, can say: “It is better to die than to suffer like this.”

The strong in spirit say otherwise. Once, when I was serving in the parish, they called me to give communion to a sick woman who had been confined to her sick bed for forty years. He confessed to her, gave her communion, and then began to console her... And she said to me: “Dear father, believe it or not, but I’m telling the truth: I’m so happy and satisfied with my life! It’s hard for me to hear when they call me grieving, or even unhappy. Forgive me."

I wanted to experience the pain, and I asked: “But would your joy increase if the Lord gave you healing?!”

"Oh no! I don’t have much time left to live: people don’t live for two centuries. But if the Lord commanded me to lie on this bed for three centuries and endure my illness, I would fulfill this command with joy and gratitude with God’s help.”

“But why? All people want to be healthy. After all, they say: in a healthy body there is a healthy mind. The Holy Church constantly prays for the health and salvation of its flock. Is this bad and unsaving?

“Father, don’t test me. All this is good, saving, but Christ said: he who is able to contain, let him contain... Here is my direct answer to your questions. As for “a healthy mind in a healthy body,” this is an expression of worldly people attached to everything earthly. They ate well, slept well - they are not dizzy, they are in a cheerful mood. That's all! The correct concept of a “healthy spirit” is constant remembrance of God, a pious life. And where this expression is used, they think very little about God or do not know Him at all. It would be more correct to say: “In a weak body there is a healthy soul” and “in weakness the power of God is known.” And in an ungodly healthy body, most often, all kinds of evil spirits live: nasty thoughts, shameful desires... Blood, like a red-hot Babylonian furnace, develops carnal passions..."

"Agree. Well, but still, why did you choose to be sick for three hundred years rather than to be healed of your illness? Are there no examples in our Orthodox Church? The struggle is more difficult, yes. But the Lord helps everyone who turns to Him for help. So why do you want to get sick so stubbornly?”

Would you believe it, my friend, I enjoyed the conversation with this servant of God. It is one thing to read the teachings of the Holy Fathers, and another thing to meet in life itself the living embodiment of their teachings. It was a long time ago, our conversation was clearly preserved in my memory.

I conveyed our conversation to you so that you can more easily understand why enemies are called benefactors. They help us acquire imperishable treasures in heaven when we endure their sorrows with the same joy as that sick woman endured her illness.

They upset us, but we forgave and also prayed for their salvation - this means: through them we acquired a good deed for eternal life, multiplied our treasures in heaven.

Evil people do not know about this or forget, otherwise they would not harm others. Demons do this too: they tempt a person and harm him until hope seduce and destroy the soul, and when they see that a person has decided to die rather than sin, then they run away from him, because the longer they tempt him, the greater the reward he will receive from God.

An evil person first of all destroys his soul, preparing it for eternal torment. Frankly speaking, few people sincerely and lovingly pray for their enemies... What do those who cause harm, even the slightest, to their neighbors count on?

This is the essence of repentance, this is its fruit: a burden, and immediately take measures to correct it, and cover those who are a burden to us with your love, do good to them.

SICK PRIDE

So you write: “Father, it’s a shame! Why did she call me that? What harm have I done to her?

This means you don't understand the essence of the matter. You didn’t do anything bad to her, but when you turned not to her, but to someone else, then you hurt her passion opinions(a person imagines, i.e. thinks highly of himself). Her passion collided with your passion of pride, and now we have a fire: you are offended. And if you didn’t have this passion in you, but you would sympathize with her and pray for her as if she were mentally ill.

In fact, the one in whom passions have not been overcome is the sickest and most unhappy person. But then, for no reason, like a match, it flared up. Is it easy for her? She cried for three days from resentment that, they say, the closest friend who could be relied on managed to hurt her... He went to some... And what her sick imagination, a passionate heart, suspiciousness, suspicion cannot imagine...

If someone does not talk to someone else: they are offended and upset at each other, this means that both are acting according to their passions and both are going to destruction.

Whoever prepares for confession must test himself according to the commandments of Christ. So try it. Christ said: “Blessed are the poor in spirit,” that is, blessed are those Christians who are humble in spirit, who do not exalt themselves over others and consider themselves worse than all people and even creatures. So how? Are you fulfilling this commandment of God? Of course not. You don't consider yourself the worst. You boast of your human dignity and are indignant at every reproachful or humiliating word. They say, how, I’m a man! I am the image of God! Is it possible to humiliate me?

Of course, you cannot humiliate anyone, but the one who humiliates you will answer before God for his sin, and you just look at yourself, sort yourself out, save yourself.

What is the use of your indignation? He added his own sin to her sin and thereby increased the fire, and the fire of this fire can turn into hell, eternal... You will forget to repent, that’s it! Then no one will save: neither mother, nor father, nor friend, nor enemy... Now our enemies save us most of all. Without noticing it themselves, they lead us to salvation, and after death no one will help us and we will not be able to repent there: after death, sins are not resolved. There will only be terribly painful, late and never ending repentance, from which sinners gnash their teeth.

IMAGE OF GOD

So you write: “I am the image of God.” I remember how one girl, too, indignant at her friend, said: “Father, I would not be upset with her, but the image of God has been desecrated in my face.”

The same disease, the same symptoms... Then I had to sternly rebuke it. I say: “You just have a sick pride, repent.” She began to make excuses, began to prove that she was right. Then I was forced to say: “Well, let’s take a deeper look, is this true? Okay, let's say you're right, but be stricter with yourself, like an outside judge. Look at yourself from the outside, what can you boast about?”

The external image of God was given to you by God. It was not of your own free will that you were born a human being, not an animal... The Lord honored you with His image and likeness. Do you thank Him - Your creator and Benefactor? At baptism you received the all-sanctifying grace of the Holy Spirit and acquired the right to be an heir to God. The Kingdom of Heaven was predestined for you if you were a true Christian, if you lived according to the law of God and did not distort His holy image. But you, like a Pharisee, are proud of your imaginary righteousness, and not of your deeds... Look how you distort the image of God in yourself: you walk with your head uncovered, when according to the law and piety it is not necessary to walk without a headscarf. If you buy expensive clothes and shoes, there is no modesty. You follow fashion, and this is a sin. Do you see how many deviations you have? This is only in appearance. If you look inside, into the heart?”

I don’t even want to waste time listing all the virtues that we, Christians, are obliged to have and do not have, and listing all the passions and vices that should not exist in us, but they flourish in us. I don’t think you will object to this?

So, you see how the image of God has been desecrated in you by you! Why don’t you shout: guard, I’m dying! Why don’t you tearfully beg God and the Mother of God for help, for your salvation? Why are you not indignant against yourself the same way you are indignant against her? But you have desecrated the image of God more than she has, both externally and internally. You do not imitate Christian virtues and crucify Christ daily. You have neither humility nor patience, you grumble endlessly: he looked askance, he didn’t do it your way, he said an offensive word, he didn’t congratulate the Angel on his day, and he didn’t even respond to his bow...

So, all your days are spent in empty conversations, thoughts and grief.

The Lord commanded to pray unceasingly, but you cannot fulfill this commandment: “You have no time!”

He brought the girl to tears. I see that the tears are not from grief, but from repentance. I think: well, good. Let him get used to lamenting his sins, this is useful.

You, D., should also lament the same thing: the same medicine for the same disease.

You and I settled on one commandment of God: “Blessed are the poor in spirit.” Test yourself for the rest of the commandments. Check to see if you qualify as a Christian?

Christ said: “Blessed is he who mourns (for his sins); blessed are the meek, humble, righteous, loving, merciful, pure in soul and body, living peacefully with everyone.”

And you also see like a Pharisee! What wrong did I do to her? This means: I, father, am good, and she is bad. And the Lord will take her and justify her for the sake of repentance or for the sake of prayerful intercession for her, and he will condemn you for proud thoughts and for condemnation... So you will remain so “good” in quotation marks with your own, as they say, interests - without grace. And who is to blame? Only himself, there is no one to blame. You cover up your sins with a plausible pretext: you write, I am the image of God. Here is Christ - the image of God in the flesh, and in the Spirit - God Himself! But he was not indignant when He was humiliated, insulted, spat on His most pure Face, beaten and even sentenced to the Cross. He did not reproach anyone, but lovingly prayed to God the Father for His crucifiers.

When we work on our inner man, when both externally and internally we are like Jesus Christ and the Mother of God, then we will have the right to say: I am the image of God, but for now we are only dust and rabble, and not people. Got it? Don't be embarrassed or offended by the harshness of your tone - this medicine is more effective.

A spiritual father should not be only a caresser. Reprove, exhort, but save!

PRAYER BOOKS FOR PEACE

We have intercessors before God - these are our righteous close or distant relatives, or just acquaintances. They pray for us, and through their holy prayers the Lord pours upon us extreme mercy, extreme grace. Another sinner is surprised: “What a miracle, a moment ago I was foaming at the mouth, proving that there is no God, and now... let them scourge me, let them do whatever they want, but I know... yes, yes! I not only believe, but I know that God exists. I feel Him in me as clearly as my breathing, as the fact that I am not dead, but alive.”

It is difficult for a sinner to understand what happened to him; he cannot know the reason for his rebirth, and the reason is simple: the intercession and intercession of the Mother of God, the prayer of saints, the prayer of living righteous and pious people and their deeds - atoning sacrifices for us, work such miracles, or rather, The Lord works miracles through their prayers.

Happy are the living and the deceased who have such prayer books in their family, but happy are all of us, Orthodox Christians, because the holy fathers in the monasteries constantly pray for us all day and night, who pronounce their prayers as if on behalf of the whole earth, i.e. . on behalf of those living throughout the Universe. They pray for the whole world and especially for us, fellow believers.

The laity sleep, and they keep vigil, do not sleep at night, pray; the laity eat several times a day, which is tastier, but they are content with the coarsest food in small quantities, and for some, abstinence reaches the point of dry eating. The remaining feats are performed secretly; we will not even talk about them. These monks imitate Jesus Christ with their lives. Just as Christ offered himself as an atoning sacrifice to free humanity from curse, sin and death, so the monks offer themselves as an atoning sacrifice for the sins of their fellow believers, and above all relatives and close people.

For example, Mary of Egypt made atonement sacrifices for her sins for seventeen years, and for the remaining seventeen years, when she herself had already been cleansed of sins, she made atonement sacrifices for the sins of her loved ones and for all Orthodox Christians.

With their deeds and prayers, the righteous redeem sinners from the Justice of God and deliver them from the punishment that they deserve for their sins. Through the prayers of saints and righteous people, the Lord sends His grace to the earth: the goodness of the air, life-giving rain for a thirsty land, an abundance of the fruits of the earth and everything necessary, everything needed for the whole earth, for those living in the whole Universe. As long as there are such righteous people on earth, it will not be in any danger!

For the sake of the prayers of the monks, the earth and the seas and all the heavenly bodies forgive sinners, humble themselves, are moved, and together with the monks offer their prayer, praise and worship to the Creator.

PRAYER OF THE EARTH

When the strings of stars light up
In the vault of heaven, and people and birds,
And the forest animals rest in sleep, -
Then everything in nature is full of tenderness,
And heaven and earth offer prayers
To the Creator of the universe, in the silence of the night.

Only the righteous will hear this prayer,
Which breathes deeply in faith;
It is not sinful, like the prayer of people,
Whose hearts are as hard as stone,
She is hot and pure, like a flame,
She is pure, like the souls of children.

Blessed is he who hears this prayer,
Whose ardent heart longed for light,
Whose feet walked the thorny path,
And there are no sins that the Eternal
I would not forgive him in endless love,
In the hours of inspired prayer of the earth!

The fog that swirls over the streams in the night,
And the air, shaking the leaves of roses, -
all these are the sounds of the holy prayer,
Which prayers to the Ruler of the world
Unable to bear even a breath of ether,
Nor the light fog that swirls in the ridges.

He will transfer them to the Creator from the entire Universe,
Favorite of the Lord with inspired prayer,
A humble servant is a monk in his cell.
And the ears of the Creator of so many creations
There are always openings for his chants:
Canons, stichera, psalms, troparia.

When everything is enveloped in a note of silence,
When the stars shine brightly with the moon,
The Savior looks at the earth with love
And sends the light of His grace,
And He generously pours out His mercy
To a sinful world for the sake of the prayers of the saints.

Showering the whole world with Your gifts,
He sends them: and with the wonderful rays of the sun,
And with a cloud that quickly rushes in the distance,
With the luminaries of the night, with the fragrant dew,
With the rains rustling in the green thicket -
In answer to the holy prayer of the earth.

Fierce storms and darkened light,
And this is the prayer of the burdened earth
Through need and the darkness of one’s sins.
She, struck by fear and sorrow,
Weeps before the Lord with fervent prayer
And asks for mercy: “Have mercy, save!”

When will the cruel storms pass?
And the lightning goes out in the blue sky,
And the thunderclaps subside in the distance -
The wrath of the All-Good Judge is softened,
And the fragrant wind carries to Him again
Praise to all creatures - the prayer of the earth!

INSTRUCTIONS

Now, my friend, I want to give you a small, specific instruction. You may not like the fact that I repeat myself in places, but over many years of practice I have developed the following rule: repetition is the mother of learning. And you should not only memorize everything that is written here, but also put it into practice, as they say, undergo practice, so repetition will not hurt.

The instruction is this: guard your tongue, for it often says what you don’t want, keep in mind the Jesus Prayer constantly, it eradicates evil thoughts. Carefully observe all your thoughts, words and deeds. In the evening, consider the sins you committed during the day, and imagine how many unrepentant sinners went to hell that day. Thank God that He gives you still time to repent. Do not put off repentance until tomorrow, until another day: it is unknown whether you will live to see that day. There is nothing more disgusting to piety than to delay your repentance. Confess as often as possible, every time you go to church. Every day we sin, every day we need to repent, when, where and how conditions allow. If you can’t go to church, then repent at home in front of the cross. Write your sins for a certain period to your spiritual father. If you do not repent daily, your sins will be forgotten and remain unrepentant.

So, my friend, let us look for an opportunity to bring as many good fruits of repentance as possible, for “Every tree that does not produce good fruit is cut down and thrown into the fire” (Matthew 3:10). Like a barren tree, those people who do not bear any spiritual fruit will be cast into eternal fire. Therefore, with the fear of God and love we will serve our neighbors, we will purify our hearts with sincere repentance and, like a publican, from the depths of our hearts we will always cry out to the Lord with contrition: “God, be merciful to me a sinner,” “Have mercy on me, God, have mercy on me!”

PRAYER CRY OF REPENTANCE

Sometimes, in a moment of soul enlightenment,
Let's look deeply, deeply into ourselves...
And a cry will burst from the chest like a prayer:
“Have mercy on me, God, have mercy on me!”

And laziness, and weakness, and lack of zeal...
My whole life disappears in vanity,
Only one hope- Your mercy:

Scattered thoughts, blindness of mind,
Oblivion about the purpose of this existence,
Some kind of coldness towards the matter of salvation...
Have mercy on me, God, have mercy on me!

How weak and fruitless repentance can be;
As soon as a living stream breaks through,
How sin is driven to despair again...
Have mercy on me, God, have mercy on me!

Let me think about the hour of separation of the soul:
What is my afterlife fate?..
Alas for me! I'm afraid of judgment and torment -
Have mercy on me, God, have mercy on me!

“Neither hot nor cold... and there is no excuse;
I know the Savior’s covenants!
Oh faith, great are your hopes!
Have mercy on me, God, have mercy on me!

The heart hurts, but the spirit flares up...
And with every holy grace of fire -
A prayerful cry breaks out from the chest:
Oh God, have mercy, have mercy on me!

So, my beloved friend D., run resolutely from every opportunity you encounter to sin. Do good to all people indiscriminately, close your lips, eyes, ears, so that temptations do not enter your temple through these holes. Work continuously for heaven, to become free from temptations and sins, to become pleasing to God. But just don’t forget that on your own, without God’s help, you can’t do anything good. Christ said: “He who abides in me, and I in him, bears much fruit, for without Me you can do nothing” (John 15:5).

Live in such a way that, having the sacrament of faith in a clear conscience, in peace of heart and in the silence of your whole being, you can preserve the grace entrusted to you with such firmness that no blows of troubles, no passion, no temptations could destroy.

Purify yourself as often as possible with repentance, sanctify yourself by communion with our Lord Jesus Christ in His Most Pure Mysteries, and decorate the clothing of your soul with worthy fruits of repentance.

Carefully turn your mind's gaze on yourself through prayer in order to reveal your sinfulness. Read more often a separate small book - REPENTANCE and SAUGHTING, which I enclose with this. This book is deep in content and simple in presentation. It is small in format, has only thirty pages, but brings great benefits to the soul. She will cleanse the heart and conscience from passions and vices. Study everything that is written in it for the salvation of soul and body.

This is all that, with God’s help, I was able to write to you, my friend, in response to your questions.

I ask for forgiveness and holy prayers.

Peace to you and God's blessing.

Glory to God the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit!
And glory to the Ever-Virgin Mary, Mother of Christ
Our God, forever and ever! Amen.

Staying with you in prayer
your well-wisher D.O.
Schema-abbot Savva

From the manuscript of Archimandrite Amphilochius (Tumsky), who was at repentance in the Pereyaslavl Danilov Monastery in 1857.

Most merciful Lord! Grant us the Divine gift of holy prayer, pouring out from the depths of the heart, gather our wasted mind, so that it always strives for You, our Creator and Savior.

Crush the kindled arrows of the evil one, separating us from You. Quench the flame of thoughts that are stronger than the fire that consumes us during prayer. Overshadow us with the grace of Your Most Holy Spirit, so that until the end of our sinful life we love You alone with all our heart, with all our soul and thought, and with all our strength, and our neighbors as ourselves.

And at the hour of separation of our soul from this mortal body, O Sweetest Jesus, receive our spirit in Your hands when You come in Your Kingdom. Amen.

SONG 1st.
It was as if You, O All-Praised Lord, had led on dry land the people You had chosen in the midst of the depths of the sea; bring me out of the abyss of sin, so that I do not wallow in the underworld.

Have mercy on me, God, have mercy on me!
Oh, that my heart would melt like water and pour out in bitter tears! If only my eyes would become an inexhaustible source of tears, so that I would cry day and night because with my sins I have upset Your fatherly goodness, Savior, and destroyed my soul!

But do not yet reject me in Your anger, Lord, grant me time for repentance, strengthen my will, in repentance crush the hardness of my heart, purge tears from the depths of my soul and have mercy on me according to Your mercy.